How can people be so cruel?

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We were visiting my husband's family in London. We decided to use public transport due to the fact that he hates to drive in London and I'm still not happy about driving on the wrong side of the road lol. It was while we were on the tube (subway) and Benjamin our youngest woke up. I was hoping to get to my in laws first we were about twenty minutes away. This meant that I had to discretely as possible breast feed him on the tube train. I was doing this pretty well until some guy started to object to it and he made me feel so bad and dirty about doing something natural. This was in front of my kids too. My husband told him if he had any objection he should go and sit somewhere else. The baby needed to be fed and that was the end of it. He swore and threatened my husband until Karl stood up. He is 6'3 plays soccer for our local church team and does a lot of cycling etc. Happily he was not as intimidating and he went to sit somewhere else. What upset me more was that there were also a few women who agreed with him. I just find it so hard to believe that in the twenty first century there are still people around with this archaic opinion. I was actually sat in a quiet corner of the train until this ignorant lout started on me.

Cheryl

Comments

Oddly ebough

Frank's picture

On my soap General Hospital, they are just starting a story on breastfeeding in public. Personally I have never had an issue with feeding a baby in public. Its the way we are made to feed babies the best possible meal, Literally! Seems like there are plenty of other directions one can look that would not be in your direction.

I think it is legal in most of the USA to breastfeed in public. I don't know about England.

Baby's needs come first!!!

{{Hugs}}

Hugs

Frank

I agree

I've never heard of anyone being arrested for breast feeding in the US either Frank. I'm not a UK Citizen my family are from Boston Mass. I don't think it is illegal here either it's just some people who create something from it I think. I've fed all my children it's a great way to bond with them too. But you're right baby's needs come first.

Cheryl

Really

Breast feeding has been done since the beginning of time . Feed your baby and be proud to be able to provide what is needed for a healthy baby :-) . Some people just need to make a seen , look away move or change the channel , not so hard to do they are just morons

Rules Vary

I'm no expert on the laws in the U.S., so I can't say if or where it is legal to breastfeed. What I have seen in the U.S. is that businesses have rules and policies that may expressly permit or forbid breastfeeding in their establishment. It has been a mess lately with women being told they can't by the local store; then after there is a stink the corporate offices try to spin things: There was a misunderstanding, we'll send out memos, etc., etc. There may also be local ordinances on the subject. It really is a c******f*** right now.


I went outside once. The graphics weren' that great.

US: not illegal, sometimes explicitly protected

As far as I know, there is nowhere in the US where breastfeeding an infant in public is explicitly illegal, though someone might try to claim it counts as "indecent exposure."

In fact, a number of municipalities have made it illegal for places to forbid it or make it difficult (e.g., requiring it to be done in a bathroom.) I.e., breastfeeding an infant in public is explicitly protected by law. I've heard of cases where people working in businesses have to be (re-)educated on the subject, though. (Much like ADA requirements.)

public breastfeeding

Teresa L.'s picture

is not illegal in all states, but a few do not protect that right, so that individual establishments can not allow it. some just require you cover you and the baby with a blanket, but really you see more breast in a bikini than you do in breast feeding, in general. usually the part that is "illegal" is the nipple, cover it up and you are NOT nude, and since that is the source for all babies milk, kind of no brainer, you would think. but pruds will be pruds.

Teresa L.

There have been stories about breastfeeding

Angharad's picture

in the news here recently. It seems that some people don't like it but then there's always someone who doesn't like anything. Personally, I find it beautiful to watch and therefore have no objections at all and probably would have told the grumblers that they were out of line. Babies don't wait until things are convenient. I'm sorry you had this experience in the UK, we're not all total arseholes (though there is a proportionately higher incidence in London), some of us are actually quite human.

Angharad

Quite.

Breast-feeding in public is not illegal in the UK though it may be discouraged in certain private premises (shops etc). I'm sorry you had that experience but please bear in mind that London is as foreign to most of we English (let alone Scots, Welsh or NI) as it is to you. It is a city state divorced from the rest of the UK despite its being the home of the government - perhaps because of that. I'm sorry you had that dreadful experience in my country.

I, and just about everyone I know, would have no problem with a women breast feeding her child anywhere. In any case, if necessary, it can be done so discreetly that hardly anyone would notice anyway. I remember a friend of our feeding her daughter in a public park at a brass band concert (so it was busy) and I doubt anyone noticed. Certainly no-one complained.

Robi

Several recent YouTube videos

Several recent YouTube videos showed this. One of them focused on rudeness of some people. The other contrasted the response of some people to an endowed woman with a low cut top with a similarly endowed woman who was breast feeding. Guess I am a little different, I would think, "Lucky tyke."

_Bev_

Thinking about it

Angharad's picture

the last time I caught a train back from London a young woman and her baby sat next to me and she breast fed him, asking me if I minded, which of course I didn't, nobody said anything about it as far as I recall and it saved fiddling about with bottles. The train filled up at Clapham and what I thought was going to be a quiet ride home with my book, turned out to be anything but. However, the young mum and her baby were delightful company even though she was younger than my own kids.

Angharad

It Probably Didn't Have Anything to Do with Breastfeeding

Intolerance has become more and more acceptable with each passing day. When top politicians in the United States find it raises their poll numbers to rail against "political correctness," we're fast on a road to ruin.

Being political correct means agreeing with the idea that people should be careful to not use language or behave in a way that could offend a particular group of people.

How can anyone not subscribe to that philosophy?

The other day I watched the Golden Globes on television and saw much more in the way of breasts hanging out than I do when my daughter-in-law feeds our grandson. My daughter-in-law is a mid-wife with her graduate degree from Yale Nursing. She swears that breastfeeding is an essential element to raising a healthy child. Complaining about a mother doing the right thing for her child displays a high degree of ignorance.

Your encounter with an oaf, or a group of oafs, was unfortunate and a sign of our times. People are scared. Bad things are happening in the world and they're afraid their next. They want to draw lines in the sand to protect themselves. Some of those lines are being drawn in extremely strange places.

I apologize for societies failure to demand political correctness regarding breastfeeding, and wish I would have been there to stand up next to your husband.

Angela Rasch (Jill M I)

Exactly. That is PC gone mad

You are very right with your analysis. Those complaints about women breastfeeding in public as well as so many other things too are the results of PC gone made, a very wrong and misunderstood tolerance which is now 'expected' or rather demanded from people.

Basically it is caused be those religious idiots and special snowflakes demanding tolerance for their intolerance from us. They are wielding our own moral values as a weapon against us.

It is time to stand up, united, and show them they've gone too far. No tolerance for intolerance!

--
>> There is not one single truth out there. <<

Not sure about here

dawnfyre's picture

and breastfeeding in public, it isn't something I see happening.

most of the malls have a "family room" for changing babies or feeding them.

yet Vancouver BC itself has enacted laws explicitly allowing women to go completely topless in public, since breasts themselves are a secondary sexual characteristic, just like facial hair on a male,so in Vancouver you would have the law on your side.


Stupidity is a capital offense. A summary not indictable.

If done discreetly, who cares?

But there should be some tact though. One time I saw a mother, standing up, with her kid dangling off her breast within 5 feet of the checkout lines at Target in the U.S.. I was startled and of course did not give her grief but I averted my eyes so as not to make her think I was staring but that is a bit too casual.

The lady in question...

had probably been yelled at by the "cover up" and "do that in private" crowd one too many times, and decided to be "in everyone's face" about it and daring anyone to say anything.

What a world we live in.

From personal LE knowledge,

From personal LE knowledge, breast feeding in public is not considered unlawful, all that is requested is that the mother cover herself and the baby while performing the task.
This is more for the protection of the mother and child from very stupid people such as approached you on the Tube. What you cannot see, does not give the OAF license to offend you. For all that OAF would know is the baby is covered to allow it to sleep easier on a busy train.
Regarding Franks' comment about "General Hospital"; When I was in college (1974) working on my two BAs; when both "General Hospital" and "All My Children" came on the air, those in courses that were teaching subjects that were related to the story lines of these shows were REQUIRED to watch them and then make reports on what they had observed and how they believed it inter-related to the course subject matter.
For those of us who were in LE work and Sociology courses, we discovered they gave us a lot more insight to the issues and subjects we were studying. So sometimes you CAN learn from TV.

Personally -

I have absolutely NO problem with a mother breast feeding her child ANYWHERE EXCEPT A LAVATORY!

The only incidence I ever bore witness to and felt forced to act upon was when a group of undergraduate students were sitting around their table in the Café Fromage in, Castle Arcade, in Cardiff. One of the students was a young mother and she was breast feeding her baby as I walked in to order coffee.
I had time to waste as I was waiting for my flat-mate Lexa who is notoriously tardy. As I took my seat I deliberately chose a seat facing the group and smiled my widest transgendered smile whilst also nodding to indicate my approval. She had just hurriedly started to cover up her baby and breast with the shawl but on seeing that I was obviously approving her activity, she relaxed and resumed openly feeding.

Having demonstrated my approval I then ostentatiously took my laptop from its case and deliberately demonstrated total concentration and pre-occupation with what was on my lap-top. Just to show I was not interested in 'gawping' at her breast.
Unfortunately an older couple arrived some minutes later and made an objection to the waiter who had been more than happy to accommodate the young lady and her friends because they were, after-all, buying coffee and whatever. The waiter refused to accede to the couple's request to tell the student to 'cover up' and the fussy couple then addressed me across the tables. They asked that I support them but I simply and firmly said that I had NO objections to the lady feeding her baby and I added (perhaps un-necessarily) that it was the second most natural thing a woman could do and if they didn't like then perhaps they should leave.
They refused to leave but at least the girl was no longer made to feel uncomfortable and she gave me a beautiful smile of gratitude. A few minutes later one of the students stood up, presumably to go to the lavatory and as she passed my table she loudly asked me what was the FIRST most natural thing the young mother could do. I simply said 'Becoming the mother to the baby', and the whole group started to laugh. -Job done!

The other issue I have is suggesting that a mother take her baby to the lavatory or nappy changing room to feed her baby.
(I don't know what a 'family room' is but if nappies are changed there then food should not be prepared or consumed therein! If a 'family room is a place to solely feed children then okay.)

This is just about the most unhygienic thing a mother can do. Who on earth prepares food where urine, faeces, dirty nappies and even menstrual blood can be found not to mention soiled lavatory paper in some of the less than clean establishments.

I for one would not want my food prepared in such an unhygienic place let alone eat it there.

In the UK there are even very strict planning laws about both domestic and commercial premises that clearly require there to be AT LEAST TWO DOORS between food preparation or storage areas and lavatorial facilities! (That is the male urinals and the water-closets for all sexes.) In restaurants, the first door is usually the actual entrance to the stalls or urinal while second door often separates the hand-wash facilities from the passage.

If I don't want to eat in the lavatory then I wouldn't want my children to eat there either!!!!

That's about all I've got to say except to add that if I ever heard a waiter or restaurateur suggesting that a mother breast feed her baby in the lavatory, I would inform him that such a function could be deemed illegal under UK hygiene laws!

bev_1.jpg

Thank you

I'd like to thank everyone for the love and support that you have shown me. This is what I love about this and similar sites the fact that people can be so supportive. As Beverley said I would never feed my kids in the rest room as you said no one eats in one so why should a baby? I like your two points though too Beverley both very important I wish some of you guys had been there lol.

My husband was there for me and that was important for me. When we got to my parents in law Kate (my Mom in law) saw I was upset I told her and also said no one even knew until he said something. As I was using the breast feeding sling I was well covered. She does know that although I'm not a prude I also don't 'flash' my boobs everywhere. She said sadly sweetheart we have a lot of idiots in our society the best thing to do is pity them. I hugged her and said thanks Mom I feel a lot better now. With that and the posts on here thanks guys I feel so much better

Cheryl xxx