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IDENTITY, SEXUALITY & DIALECTIC by Laika Pupkino
"I see a day when a little transvestite child, and a little transsexual child will play side by side,
without regard to how they got into them dresses..." -Martina Luthra King.
.
about the forced femme genre of TG fiction; and branches out into stuff like what are
acceptable stories and what are "proper" desires...
Hi everybody. Some TV at fictionmania wrote a story about having a black lover. It was a pretty silly story and a pretty ordinary sex fantasy, except that she made a big deal over her partner's skin color. It obviously excited her like nothing else. While the fantasy paramour was more Wesley Snipes than Stepin Fetchit, a flurry of reviewers instantly lambasted her for being a racist. I wrote this review:
"I can't have a racial fetish because that doesn't treat all races as equally exciting..."
"I can't be a submissive because I am a feminist..."
"I can't be a TV sissy because that perpetuates gay stereotypes..."
"I can't be gay because my religion forbids it, or it is a product of corrupt capitalist decadence... or... or... or..."
Sexuality is a messy business, and it doesn't seem like we get to choose what turns us on. While it's good to live according to values ........ to try to force our desires to conform to some dialectic is the surest path to personal misery. Tacky and embarrassing as some of these kinks can be, the only important criteria is whether our actions are actually hurting anyone. So if black men turn you on more than anything, Jenna- YOU GO GIRL!
My 1970's feminism (I have some great stories from back then about getting kicked out of gay bars for coming on like the male {?} Andrea Dworkin, demanding gay boys wake up and support th' sisters!) tells me that the root of the appeal of erotic or crypto-erotic "forced fem" fiction is SEXISM. That women are percieved as inferior, and therefore the wish to become female or like a female is an untenable desire, generating guilt- which manifests itself in eroticization of forced transformation. CONCLUSION: Forced fem is a wrong thing to be interested in, and those who do get all squirmy over this are inherently EVIL; as they participate in and promote the mindset that victimizes women. Mektoub, it is written!
The truth is a lot of people develop kinks, the roots of which are anybody's guess, some personal trigger event, an inner symbolism that gets linked to desire and becomes a powerful lifelong obsession. Gender identity issues are the common ground at BigCloset, especially when they're not sexualized. The subconscious consensus seems to be that transsexual is pure, the transvestite a bit less so, and forced fem---with it's D/s overtones and boners straining against weird little cages is wrong ...... wrong...... wrong! So we become a grotesque mirror of that unaccepting society so many of us complain about. Like the Puritan Colonists who escaped from religious oppression only to create their own form. I don't understand a lot of fetishes. I don't have to. But just that kink is kink, and except where acting on it victimizes someone else it's neither right or wrong, it just is.
And uh, anywho, uh....... Another rewrite? Nah-
~~~Hugs, Laika
Comments
Lovely Laika
Well said.'Nuff said,
Hugs,
Joanne
I have to agree...
Well concieved and stated. Sexual preference, fetishes, turn-ons (and -offs) are as old as humanity. I still haven't figured out why anyone should care, so long as no one is victimized.
understanding
Now that's not always easy. Accepting difference is a bit simpler. There's a whole bunch of odd little things that tweak my buttons and cause a reaction one way or another. Sometimes it's a very subtle difference in how things are laid out as to whether it churns the guts or causes a flush. As you say there are a zillion small things that can become triggers or pointers and within those are some very fine threads as to pleasure or pain. I dislike force, yet I wrote one. I am not fond of deceit, yet I have that in some way as part of a couple. There are all sorts of other types or genres that just don't attract me for various reasons.... but so what? There are a few taboos that are just too dangerous or disgusting and rightly so, but for the most part, particularly in story form, it harms no one and can be of help to exorcise a demon or simply release a pent up fear. Or maybe share a joy.
Do my preferences or predjudices make me better or worse than anyone else here? I don't really think so. There is stuff I like and read and stuff I read and well...yeah ok, or some I just don't. Don't make any or all of it good or better or bad. Just different and well hey.... yeah, according to some points of view I am just that. So who am I to judge... yet I will and do. Doesn't mean anyone else can't or shouldn't neccesarily, just that I might not. Damn...who turned on the laugh track? Serious? Me? Nah... that was that other chickie who spelt her name with a K 'cause everyone else was C. Nice thing about choosing... you get to choose.
Kristina