Piecing together the shit show that is Angela's Legacy

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H'okay, so, here are the cliff notes:

Angela was called away by the Seelie council to investigate the disappearance of Eustace (the Armadillo). After she and Anabelle left, something went wrong - we're not sure what because no one is telling the main character anything.

Meredith continued to teach Jasmine while Angela was gone, and three years later, as Jasmine is reunited with her sister who was freshly infected with vampirism, the house was attacked. Meredith died and Jasmine barely escaped with her life, and the cat Annabelle gave her. Jasmine was intercepted by Broderick and Ralph, who were introduced way earlier in the story, and their entire goal is to keep Jasmine from doing anything stupid because she's in danger of being killed, or worse.

Right now in the story, Broderick is attempting to figure out why the vampires would be hunting, which is against the law, and it has a lot to do with Jasmine. Jasmine doesn't care, she only wants to get back to her mother, and in the next 10 chapters, she's going to find a way to do that.

This story was supposed to have 180 chapters but I just cut out 60% of it because apparently my writing and my reader retention sucks harder than a CPAP machine fucking a vacuum cleaner.

Comments

"It's Megamaid, sir. She's

"It's Megamaid, sir. She's gone from suck, to blow!"


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

reader retention

its a problem with longer stories. Its one reason I tend to write short pieces.

DogSig.png

Honestly, I think the problem

Honestly, I think the problem with reader retention with longer stories is twofold.

1) if the story doesn't seem to be getting anywhere, but rather wanders aimlessly.
2) if the posting schedule isn't frequent enough. If it's already written, and 85 chapters, _don't_ post once a week. Three times a week would be good. If it isn't written, make sure that you have enough written to post on a regular schedule, period. That is, have a buffer.

Of course, there's always the problem of the Author wandering off instead of the story wandering off.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Reader retention

WillowD's picture

I thought your reader retention was pretty good. Your latest chapter has 462 views compared to 1062 views for chapter 3. By chapter 19, I'd say most people viewing the chapter are actually reading the chapter. That's a pretty large number of readers for a relatively new author on BCTS.

Don't forget you can always do a rewrite. Especially since you are only 10% of the way in to your intended story length.

Just throwing this out there:

Audrissa's picture

Just throwing this out there:

the last few lines of this post were aimed at one person. You know who you are.

Just be glad you haven't

Just be glad you haven't resorted to ripping off others to make your stories stand out and get readers or making your own characters better than characters created by others that you have piggybacked on the success of

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Uuhhhhh... Name one author

Uuhhhhh... Name one author in the last 100 years that hasn't ripped off a previous story. Harry Potter is a 'Worst Witch' rip-off, Tolkien is a mish-mash of various mythologies, Steven King is a HP Lovecraft wannabe.....

In books, it's called 'inspiration' and 'research'.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

If you dig too deep, Angela's

Audrissa's picture

If you dig too deep, Angela's Legacy is basically the Hunger Games without the arena...and with fairies. You have Broderick who is kind of a Haymitch, Jasmine uses a bow....yeah I know it's a stretch but that's all I've got.

differences

There's a difference between writing a similar style story that doesn't live up to the inspiration and a story that is outright ripping off entire plotlines and characters. King, Rowling, and Tolkien at least tried to make things different, what I was talking about was pure ripping off. Plagiarizing isn't being "inspired", it's ripping someone off.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Getting Ahead...

Daphne Xu's picture

... in Mathematics. "Plagiarize. Plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize. Don't let a word evade your eyes. Just think of why the Good Lord made your eyes, and plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize! But always be sure to call it, please, `research'." -- Tom Lehrer.

-- Daphne Xu

Always think of the great

Always think of the great Lobachevsky.


I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.