"I'm afraid I have to leave you now," Emily said, adding with a huge smile, "That was fun."

"Fun!" Patrick echoed. "That was absolutely fantastically, gorgeous, orgasmic paradise. I didn't know people of our age had sex like that."

"No?" Emily paused, considering. "I picked most of that up when I was young and I don't think anyone ever told me to stop doing it."

"Well, I'm certainly not going to. In fact, I think we should repeat it as soon as possible. "

"It's not as easy as that."

She took her clothes to the bathroom, leaving Patrick briefly pondering her remark, before switching back to thinking about the sexual athletics they had just undertaken. Even when he'd been young, he'd never had a partner with such a repartee of sexual positions. As he'd gone through the years, he had settled down to a straight missionary fuck, three times a week if he was lucky, less often as the relationship with his wife gradually fell apart.

After their son had gone off to university, there seemed nothing to keep them together, and they'd split up by mutual consent. He'd met Emily a few months ago at the Bridge group he'd joined. In contrast to the other players, who were all deadly serious about the game, she laughed at him when he made a stupid call or played the wrong card as her partner. Anyone else and he'd have been executed. They went out a couple of times, but the relationship seemed to be going nowhere in a hurry. When he'd suggested they get to know each other better, she had said things with her family were 'awkward', without explaining further.

Then, that very morning she had telephoned and suggested that rather than going to that afternoon's meeting of the Bridge club, she come round to his flat. As soon as she got through the door, she'd had the hots and they hadn't diminished over the next two hours.

"Patrick," Emily said, coming out of the bathroom, "I'm sorry but this afternoon was a one-off. I'm not going to be able to do it again. It's a sort of family problem."

"But we must," he said in horror. "You enjoyed it as much as I did... Unless... are you married? "

"Oh, no. Long divorced. The problem is with my son, daughter and her husband. They'd make a terrible fuss."

"But what's it got to do with them? Surely, they're old enough to be adult about it?"

"They're very protective," she said. "About a year ago I met this guy, Darren, and we had a relationship. He asked me to marry him which, to be honest, I wasn't so keen on, but I said yes because I didn't want to lose him.

"Then I discovered he was having an affair with one of my friends. They went off to get married! Three months later, she came back with her tail between her legs. He was a bigamist. He'd cleaned out all her money and then taken off. My family haven't let me have another relationship since. But they don't know how much I want to have sex. They think people our age don't need it."

"Then tell them to go to hell."

"That's something a mother can't do to her children. I love them, and being with them and the grandchildren. It would create hell if I took up with another man."

"You don't have to tell them. We could have a secret affair, every Wednesday afternoon when they think you're playing Bridge."

"No! For one thing, it wouldn't work. My daughter normally takes and collects me from the Bridge group. She's having her hair done this afternoon so I said I'd take a taxi."

"And for another?"

"For another... Well I want to have a proper relationship, where we do something other than have sex."

"How did your children feel on these two occasions when I've taken you out for meals?"

"Hmm, well, you're going to kill me for saying this, but I changed your sex. When I've spoken about you, I've simply called you Pat and let them think you're a woman."

"Oh thanks!"

"It's quite fun actually." She giggled. "It means I can talk about you, which I do quite a lot, without them knowing I'm talking about this sexy bloke who I really fancy. They're far too straight-laced to consider I might be turning into a lesbian."

Rather pleased she'd been talking about him quite a lot, even though it was as a woman, he rather lamely added, "Well we must do something."

Another giggle. "You could pretend to really be Pat."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. "

"Actually," she said, looking at him more carefully as though she'd had a brainwave, "that could work."

"You mean you simply tell them you're meeting a woman..."

"Oh no, they'd have to meet you, soon. Make certain you weren't a con artist. Mind, they didn't recognise Darren as such."

"You mean... "

She stared at him. "I think you'd make a very nice woman."

"No way."

"No," she challenged, "there is a way. The question is whether you'd do it for us, Patrick, for our relationship?"

And for the kind of fucking he'd had that day on a regular basis. "Could I really look like a woman?"

"Why don't we give it a go? I could order you up some things to try. In fact, it would be rather fun."

Almost everything in Emily's life was fun, he realised, which was one of the reasons why he agreed to give it a try. The other reason being, of course, she fucked like crazy.

***

"Hi Pat, it's me."

There was an excited sparkle in her voice as she said his new name, and Patrick couldn't help but be drawn into her mood.

"Hi Emily," he raised the tone of his voice - not too successfully - to try to mimic a woman.

"I think the voice needs working on, but don't worry too much. I've found this great company that will turn you into a voluptuous woman."

"I'm not certain I'd want to be a voluptuous woman," Patrick said. "Just a quiet, plain Jane."

"From the way you looked at that woman in the restaurant the other day, I rather thought you liked voluptuous women." (Damn! He didn't realise she'd noticed.)

"Anyway, it's too late now," she said, "I've ordered it all on Express delivery. It should be with you this morning, which is why I'm ringing to tell you not to go out."

"So what exactly is it?" He asked.

"Wait and see," she teased. "Then put it all on and give me a call.

"You'll be fantastic," she added, before ringing off.

Patrick very much doubted that, but her excitement was contagious. He was rather looking forward to turning into a voluptuous woman - especially if it led to having another round of sex with Emily.

***

By ten-thirty, he was staring at the two boxes he'd removed from the carton, leaving a number of smaller items inside.

The one was labelled: Bustlet - breast enhancement without surgery - the most realistic false breasts in the world. With Sensotouch - to make your breasts more sensitive than you have ever known.

The other said: Hiplet: Hip and bum enhancement without surgery - the most realistic hips, bum and vagina in the world. With Sensotouch - to provide the most sensitive vagina ever known to woman.

Patrick gulped. He wasn't expecting to have a vagina, regardless of its sensitivity. He opened that box first. It was like a padded, skin coloured control brief, except that between the legs there was an incredibly realistic-looking vagina. He picked up the user guide which was in the box and started to read.

***

"Hi Emily, it's Pat."

"Pat! Hi. I didn't recognise your voice. "

"There were these voice-changer tablets in with the stuff you ordered, but more importantly, you know that voluptuous woman you were talking about? Well, she's here. I'm looking at her in the mirror."

"Pat, that's great."

"Well, it's not really. These breasts are enormous. Everyone will be looking at me."

"They may look at you," Emily said, "but I bet they won't think you're a man dressed up as a woman."

"Well, no, but the Hiplet even has a vagina, and you can guess where that fits, and very uncomfortable it is too."

"You'll get used to it. We women have to. Now, I want you to get a tape measure and give me your measurements; I can then start ordering you some clothes. This going to be fun."

Patrick silently sighed, and thought again of the wonderful sex, then he grinned. "Emily, it's going to be brilliant."

***

"Hi Mum, it's me... Oh, I didn't realise you had company"

Hello, love. This is my friend Pat from the Bridge group. Pat, this is my daughter, Abigail."

"Hi, Abigail."

"It's really good to be able to put a face to the name. Mum's always talking about you. She was on the verge of leaving the Bridge club - load of stuffy old farts, she said - when you joined. Mind you, I thought it might be because some of the dirty old men there were trying to hit on her, and Mum's really not interested in any of that, are you Mum?"

"Well..."

"So we were so pleased that she's found a nice friend to keep her company. Are you single or married, Pat? Mum never seems to say much about that."

"I've been on my own for the last year, since I split up with my..." (He'd been about to say wife, for God's sake) "...husband."

"Well, I suppose men who are attracted to sex bombshells like you are more volatile than men like my Tim who prefer more normal-sized women. Those are enhancements, I presume?" She nodded at Pat's breasts."

"I think sex bombshell is a bit over the top," Pat said, "but I confess, I don't look exactly as nature intended."

"No, I thought not." She gave a slight sniff. "Well, I must be off. You can't keep me talking here all day."

After they heard the front door slam, Emily said, "Sorry about that. Abigail always tended to open her mouth before putting her brain in gear, and she seems to be getting worse."

"I'm not really a sex bombshell, am I?"

"Perhaps I went a bit overboard with the voluptuous. By the way, those breasts are 'Natural' rather than 'Enhanced'. I thought you'd prefer that.

"What 's the difference?"

" 'Enhanced' are always a perfect conical shape, whereas 'Natural' flop about just like real breasts. The company recommend then for additional authenticity. Still, look on the bright side; it never crossed Abigail's mind you might be a..."

"I forgot to ask the question why I came," Abigail said, coming back into the room. "Can you babysit tomorrow at about eleven? I've got a doctor's appointment."

"Err, yes, that'll be all right love."

"Great. Love you. Bye, Pat."

"Bye," they both said, waiting for the front door to slam

"Hell, Emily, we can't make love here. She'll be coming into the bedroom to check out the firmness of my tits."

"She's not usually this bad. Her brother, Jonathan, is completely the opposite."

"Then let's go over to my place. In fact, you can telephone your daughter this evening and tell her you're going to stay the night."

"Oh. Yes."

Then, "Oh yes!"

Then, "No, stop it. You'll smudge your lipstick and Abigail will come back and ask if you want to borrow hers to touch up."

***

As soon as they got through the door into Patrick's flat, they were undressing each other, in amongst kissing and stroking. What Pat did not expect was that as soon as his bra was off exposing his enormous breasts, Emily would go to work on them in a big way, and he was left gasping for pleasure as he went into an orgasmic climax.

"The Sensotouch seems to work all right," Emily said, some time later.

"I've never had an orgasm before, simply from having my nipples licked," he said. "That was incredible."

"What's even better," Emily said, "is that a man normally takes time to recover after an orgasm, whereas we woman can just go on and on. Shall we try a little 69 now?"

Emily's mobile rang at about eight next morning.

"Hi, Mum." Patrick could clearly make out Abigail's voice. "Jonathan is going to pop over there to collect you at about ten."

"But I was planning..."

"Don't forget you're babysitting at eleven. We don't want you late for that, do we?"

"No darling."

"Bye."

Emily looked at Patrick. "Kids, you love them and you loathe them. Now I want one more serious orgasm before I leave here."

They were back to having hetero sex by now, as Patrick's Bustlet and Hiplet had got incredibly sweaty inside and he'd pulled them off in the middle of the night.

"Do you think I should become a semi-permanent woman?" he asked. "There's a different gel I can use to prevent sweating but you can't remove the things for two weeks."

"So you think that sex as a woman is better?"

"I've never had a three hour non-stop orgasm before. The user guide says I can arrange it so I can still let my cock out to play."

"Then why don't you shower and become female again, and then we'll have a nice big girlie orgasm."

Of course, they were still at it when Jonathan rang the doorbell just before ten.

"Damn!" Emily said. "We got a bit carried away there. You put on that nice silk dressing gown I bought you and answer the door to Jonathan, whilst I go have a shower."

***

"Hi Jonathan. I'm afraid we've had a late rise, this morn..." Pat faltered to a stop as he realised Jonathan was not listening to his words, but was staring goggle-eyed at Pat in his silk dressing gown pulled tightly around his body Pat hadn't wanted to leave any gaps to expose his body, but he now realised the consequence was that the thin material followed every curve of it.

"Sorry," Jonathan stuttered as he realised Pat had noticed his transfixed stare. "I didn't mean to... That is, I was a little surprised by how..."

Pat smiled. "Come in Jonathan. Your mother's still in the shower but you can have a coffee whilst you wait."

He led the way to his combined kitchen and lounge, barely able to contain the exhilaration running through him. Jonathan had been aroused at seeing him! Pat knew he should be appalled by this, rather than excited. After all, he wasn't gay.

But I'm a woman. It's great to be admired by a man. The words flashed through his mind as he turned to ask whether Jonathan wanted tea or coffee, and again revelled in Jonathan's lustful look

"Coffee, please," he replied.

Women's dressing gowns are fastened in a different way to men's; that was Pat's excuse anyway that he let the front droop open slightly as he leant forward to pass Jonathan his coffee. He heard a sharp intake of air, and quickly glanced up, catching Jonathan in full drool.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Jonathan apologised. "I didn't mean to look. I was just..."

"Jonathan, it's all right," Pat said. "It's my fault for accidentally letting my dressing gown gape open like that; not yours for reacting like any man would."

"Right."

Pat thought what a much nicer person Jonathan was than his sister. "Are you married, Jonathan?"

"Er, no. No. I simply haven't met the right girl, yet."

"You don't meet any girls," Emily said, coming through into the kitchen. "If you're making a coffee, Pat, do one for me."

Pat obediently made Emily a coffee. She was back into mother mode, impossible to consider how, earlier that morning, she had been doing a deep throat on his engorged prick.

"Mum keeps trying to get me hooked up with some woman or other," Jonathan said to Pat. "Most of the time, they clearly don't want to get hooked up with me."

"Don't be stupid, Jonathan," Emily said. "I've introduced you to some very nice girls. I wouldn't mind if you came straight out and said you were gay."

Jonathan blushed slightly, and glanced at Pat who gave him a wink with a quick smile. Jonathan laughed in response and said, "Mum, I'm not gay. Like I said, I simply need to meet the right girl..."

"Or woman," he added, and Pat knew he was talking about her. She felt a thrill run through her that a young man actually fancied her, a much older woman.

But I'm not, Patrick said to himself. I'm a bloke.

Not at the moment, Pat said. So it's quite all right.

"I just want you to be happy, Jonathan," Emily said. "Have so much more fun than you do."

"Don't go on Mum."

"Don't worry, Jonathan," Pat said. "Mothers always do go on about something. It's because they love you."

"We'd better be going, Mum," Jonathan said, and with a shy smile at Pat, they left the flat.

***

When the doorbell rang thirty minutes later, Pat assumed it would be Emily, no longer required for her baby sitting. Instead, it was Abigail.

"Hello, Pat. I hope you don't mind me coming round like this." It was a statement, not a question, and she walked past Pat into the flat.

"Don't you have to be at the doctor's shortly?" Pat said, closing the front door and following Abigail into the lounge.

"Oh, I made that up, just to get Mum out of the way so we could have a chat."

"Oh! What sort of a chat?" Pat thought that rather a shoddy trick for Abigail to play on her mother.

"Well, I was rather intrigued by your breasts. I've been thinking of having an enhancement, and I wanted to talk to you about yours."

Pat's heart leapt into her mouth. Did Abigail suspect her real enhancement? "I'm really no expert," she said.

"Of course not," Abigail said. "But look at my problem." She quickly unbuttoned and removed the floral blouse she was wearing and just as quickly took off her bra, exposing two small, pert breasts.

"But your breasts are beautiful," Pat said, trying not to gulp.

"But I've noticed Tim more and more looking at other women, especially those with large breasts. Would you mind if I looked at yours properly?"

"Er, well." Pat paused, considering. The male reaction to such a request would have been to punch someone of the same sex on the nose, but she knew that women were completely different in that respect. She would appear very unusual to refuse. "Of course." She shyly removed her blouse, and then took off her 44-DD bra.

"Those are magnificent," Abigail said. "They're so firm and beautifully shaped. Do you mind if I just feel them?"

Without waiting for permission, she reached forward and gently squeezed Pat's left breast. Pat did gasp a little at that.

"These feel so natural. When did you have them done, and who did them for you?"

This was starting to get complicated. "Well, when I said I was not quite as nature intended," Pat said, "I actually meant that I was very late developing any breasts at all."

"Go on." Abigail was now gently squeezing her right breast.

No, you go on, Pat wanted to say, but did not. "All my girl friends had wonderful breasts, whilst I was still flat-chested, and I was getting quite frantic." At not being able to get his hands on them, he meant.

"Yes." Abigail had her hands on both Pat's breasts and was gently massaging them.

"Yes," Pat said, and then followed it up with a downright lie. "The older sister of a school friend was taking some breast enhancement pills, and she started stealing them to give to me. Well, I took them for months and months, and still nothing happened. Then suddenly, they started growing and they didn't stop, not even when I eventually stopped taking the pills."

"What were they, those pills?" Abigail was firmly grasping her tits now, and squeezing them hard.

"I don't know. In any case, they are probably banned now from sale, so it's rather academic."

"I suppose so," Abigail said, adding, "If you lie on the floor, I can lie on top the reverse way round, and we can suck each other's breasts."

Seeing the surprised look on Pat's face, she added, "It's something I learnt in the dorm at boarding school. Don't you dare tell Mum - she simply wouldn't understand such things."

Pat didn't like to tell her that was exactly what she and her mother had been doing a few hours previously.

***
"Hi, Patrick."

"It's Pat, now. You remember? Patrick disappeared when he used the semi-permanent gel this morning. The only reminder is her exceedingly large clitoris."

"Mmm. Quite delicious. But I'm really ringing to thank you for talking to Jonathan this morning. He's usually completely tongue-tied with women. Heaven knows, I've tried so hard to get him off with someone. I even hired a prostitute once to come to a party at my house and take him to bed, but he ran a mile."

"He's not like his mother. Just give him time. He'll find someone."

"I hope so. Anyway, he seems to chat to you, so could you please try to convince him that women don't bite."

"I'll do my best," Pat said.

"I thought we might go shopping this afternoon. Get you a few more clothes."

"But you've already bought me lots of clothes..."

"A woman can never have too many clothes. Afterwards, back to your place for tea and crumpet."

They were both crumpet now, Pat realised with a pleasant thrill. "The problem is," she said to Emily, "I'm not exactly flush with money. I can't really afford..."

"It's on me," Emily said. "Let's call it for services rendered. Also to say thanks for talking to Jonathan."

***

They spent a couple of hours shopping, a process which as Patrick she would have found incredibly boring, but which seemed to transform as Pat to be an exciting process, with Emily helping her choose some wonderful essentials to her wardrobe.

But it all came to an abrupt end when they came out of one department store and Emily's phone started ringing.

"Mum, where have you been? I've been trying to get hold of you for ages." Pat had no difficulty identifying Abigail's strident voice.

"I've been shopping with Pat. We've just bought her a lovely..."

"Mum, I've got no time for that trivia. The school's just telephoned to say there's a fault with their electric supply so they're closing early. You need to get there straightaway and collect Jodie. I've told Tim to take time off work and meet you at Pat's - I assumed that's where you were."

"There's no need for Tim to do that. I can get a number 43 bus from here which will take me straight there. Now stop worrying. I'll be at school in just a few minutes."

"Well, for heaven's sake, get a move on." The call was abruptly terminated.

Emily turned to Pat. "I'm sorry about this. I have to go."

"Abigail treats you abysmally," Pat said. She was still feeling guilty about her frolics with Abigail, that morning. "It's time you put your foot down."

"I'm sorry, Pat, but you're over the line. She's worried about Jodie; that's all. Now, I'm sorry we won't be able to finish our day nicely, but I have a bus to catch."

Pat returned to her flat feeling rather depressed. They'd been having such a superb day, and Abigail treated her mother like a servant. Not finishing the afternoon with a bout of sex was a downer, but to be honest, whilst Pat was still enjoying the sex, it was no longer the only thing in life. She pondered the cruelty of life; when you were denied sex, it really was the only thing you wanted; yet when you had it in abundance, it became something that was simply nice to do.

"A penny for them."

"Oh Jonathan! What are you doing here?"

"Abigail rang me in a complete panic looking for Mum. I thought I'd come over here on the off chance she may be here with you."

Pat explained what had occurred, and Jonathan said," Oh! Never mind. I guess I'd better get back to my job."

"You could stay for a coffee."

"Would you mind? I could really do with a coffee actually, as I didn't get chance to take a break after Abigail rang me."

"Come in, Jonathan and I'll put the kettle on."

"Thanks. It's really nice of you."

"Take your coat off and sit down," she instructed, as he hovered nervously about. "Tell me Jonathan, she added, what is your job? It seems very convenient you can take time off whenever Abigail tells you to."

"I'm a sort of technical journalist. I write articles for the technical and scientific press - it always involves a lot of research which I do at home, so I can choose the hours I work."

"Then it's probably quite lonely, working at home."

"I'm happy enough, working on my own, but I do sometimes feel like a chat."

"Of course you do, so tell me, what are you working on at the moment?"

It wasn't in order to please Emily that Pat coaxed Jonathan into opening up; she really enjoyed talking with him. In fact, Jonathan was extraordinarily interesting: he'd been writing a series of articles titled Environmentalists against the Environment about people using environmental arguments against the provision of wind farms or Energy from Waste projects. They seemed to talk about it for ages, before they were interrupted by the doorbell.

"That can't be Emily, back already, can it?"

"Shouldn't think so," Jonathan said. "She'll have taken Jodie back to Abigail's. Do you mind if I use your toilet while you're answering it?"

"Of course not," Pat said as she went to the door. It was a man in his late twenties, a very handsome man, some women might have said, but Pat wondered whether he might be gay.

"You must be Pat?" he said. "I'm Tim. Abigail sent me round to collect Emily."

"I'm afraid you've had a wasted journey," Pat said, and told him what had happened.

"Oh well, never mind," he said. "Do you mind if I come in?" Just like Abigail, he walked straight past her into the flat without waiting for an answer. "After what Jonathan said about you, I wanted to meet you. He said you were stunning, but as usual, he hasn't a clue about women."

"He said I was stunning?" Pat couldn't help but be flattered.

"But you're not stunning," Tim said. "You're beautiful."

"Don't be silly."

"I'm not being silly." He suddenly swept forward and held her lightly in his arms. "A wonderfully curvy figure and so kissable lips."

His lips were only inches above hers, but Pat was turning her face away and pushing him back before it got too embarrassing.

"Let's have sex, together," he said.

"No. For one thing, you're married; for another, I don't fancy you."

Tim was obviously about to say more when they both heard the toilet flush. He paused. "Who's that?"

"It's Abigail," Pat rather cruelly said.

"Shit! Why didn't you warn me?"

"Of course," he added, "my suggestion was only a little joke..."

Just then, the toilet door opened and Jonathan emerged.

"You bitch," Tim angrily turned on Pat. "Winding me up like that."

"Don't talk to Pat like that," Jonathan said.

"What are you going to do, squirt?"

"I think a better question is what Abigail is going to do when I tell her what you suggested to Pat."

"Don't you dare!" Tim clenched his fists.

"Well I'm going to anyway," Pat said.

"Bitch!" Tim repeated, and left.

***

"I'm really sorry about that," Jonathan said. "He's not normally as nasty as that."

"Abigail and Tim make quite a family," Pat said, adding, "Did you really call me stunning?"

Jonathan blushed. "I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know he'd repeat it to you, like that. And asking you for sex! It was disgusting."

"Some men do," Pat said. "If ninety percent of women refuse, that leaves ten percent of women who do. It's something a woman has to get used to."

"Oh," Jonathan said, and then quickly blurted out the words, "Let's have sex, together," and then quickly added, "I'm sorry, I don't know what I was saying..."

"Jonathan, it's all right," Pat said, "but I'm not the kind of person who says yes to a question like that."

Seeing the look on Jonathan's face, she added, "But if you were to ask if you could give me a hug, I wouldn't mind that at all."

His eyes widened. "You wouldn't mind?"

"You haven't asked me anything yet."

"Pat, can I give you a hug?"

Pat held out her arms. "Come here you silly boy."

Jonathan cautiously put his arms around her

"If we're going to hug," Pat said, "let's do it properly." And she pulled herself against him, pushing her breasts firmly against his chest.

"Oh Pat, you're so soft."

"Which is more than I can say about you," she said, as she felt something hard push into her tummy.

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't apologise for being a man," she said, and wriggled her tummy against him.

"Oh God!" he gasped.

"Look Jonathan," she said. "I've said I'm not going all the way, but if we go any further, it's on one condition."

"Anything."

"You tell no one about us. I don't want this getting back to Emily, do you hear?"

"But she'd be delighted."

For a second, Patrick wondered whether he was being unfaithful to Emily for the second time that day. On the other hand, she had begged him to try to bring Jonathan out of himself. In any case, a little fondling was hardly being unfaithful.

"Not with me as your partner. In any case, I'm not arguing. Either promise you'll breathe a word to no one or we stop now."

"I promise. I promise."

"Well, in that case, seeing as you're so interested in my breasts, you'd better unbutton my blouse."

Pat wasn't quite certain how it got to the point where Jonathan sucked on her nipples to bring her to a crashing orgasm that dwarfed anything she'd had with Emily. As for sucking on Jonathan's lollipop to return the favour, she would never have contemplated it had it not looked so delicious - long and thin, but with a gorgeous purple knob. Then it seemed churlish to not let him look at her vagina, and it was probably the clumsiness of his tongue licking her that gave her another super orgasm.

"Let's have sex, together," he said.

Pat glanced down at his lollipop to see it had sprung to life, again. "Jonathan, I have to tell you my vagina is not like a normal women's."

"I'm not in a position to draw up a comparison chart," he grinned at her.

"No, but... It's very tight, and it would be painful for both of us."

"Then why don't we just try, and if I hurt you, I'll stop straightaway."

Pat smiled at him. "If you weren't so innocent, I'd know you were lying. But if we're going to do it, I'm on top, OK?"

"Yes, please."

She made him lie on his back with his knees raised, and she squatted astride him and then simply slid slowly down his knees.

The pain was excruciating as he entered her vagina, which or course was really her anus, and she was about to say they would have to give up, when Jonathan reached forward, grabbed her hips with both hands and lunged right inside her.

Ten minutes later, Pat came down from her orgasm as Jonathan gave his final jerk inside her.

"I hope that wasn't too painful." He gave her a stupid grin and she grinned back. How to describe the sheer agony mixed with the ecstasy which made it like no sex she'd ever had before.

"It was wonderful." The words escaped her lips without thought.

"Listen," he said, "I've just remembered I was supposed to meet my editor five minutes ago, but why don't we meet for a meal this evening, and afterwards..."

She returned his stupid grin. "OK," she said, "only remember, not a word to Emily or anyone about us."

"I promise," he said.

***

Pat was sitting in the wine bar where she'd agreed to meet Jonathan that evening, when her mobile rang.

"Pat! What's this about your having sex with Jonathan?"

Emily sounded incredibly pissed, and Pat cursed Jonathan under her breath. He'd promised to keep quiet and immediately spilled it to his mum.

"What's Jonathan being saying? In any case, you did say you wanted me to convince him that women don't bite."

"Yes but I didn't expect you to do that by gobbling him off. In any case, it was Tim, not Jonathan who told me. He caught the pair of you in flagrante."

"Timothy! Listen, he said that just to defend himself from his own misdeeds. This afternoon, he..."

"Tim said you'd threatened to lie about him, if he told the truth about you two. I'm sorry. That's the last straw. Goodbye, Patrick."

Pat's, "Goodbye..." was cut off midstream as Emily put the phone down on her.

"Damn!" She felt quite tearful about the ending of such a wonderful relationship. On the other hand, sex with Jonathan had been good; very, very good. Her phone rang.

"Hi Pat, it's Jonathan. I'm sorry, I'm not going to be able to make it this evening, after all."

"That's all right. Do you want to make it another time?"

"Well... I mean... Thanks for this afternoon, and everything, but..."

"But?"

"Well, I've fancied my editor for ages and this afternoon, I asked her if she wanted to have sex. I'm round at her flat now, so..."

"For heaven's sake," Pat heard a woman's voice say in the background. "Get off the phone and shag me something rotten."

***

"I'm sorry to intrude."

Hearing the voice behind her, Pat might have thought it was Jonathan playing a trick, if she had not heard the woman in the background over the phone. She looked up to see an older version of Jonathan sitting at the next table.

"You are Emily's friend, aren't you?" he tentatively said.

She gave a little smile. "You're obviously Jonathan's father."

He nodded. "I'm Jim, Emily's ex. I saw you shopping with her the other day and you looked deliriously happy then - now you look very sad."

Pat shrugged. "I suppose all good things must come to an end."

"She's fantastic in bed, but I guess you know that."

In response to her look of surprise, he added, "It's all right, I know Emily. She taught me everything I know about sex, and then some. But she was never satisfied with one partner. Not just the milkman, but the post woman and the newspaper boy, and probably the local girls' hockey team as well. I suppose you wouldn't like..."

"Yes," Pat said, quickly deciding.

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'll have sex with you."

"Oh. I'm sorry. I was going to ask if you'd like another glass of wine."

Pat blushed, and then grinned. "The answer is still yes. You decide what the question was."

"Well, er... That is..."

"OK, that's enough," Pat said. "I'll decide, and I'm certainly not going to ask whether it's your place or mine, or we'll still be here tomorrow morning. Come on. We're off."

Jim followed Pat out of the wine bar, wondering where there was another wine bar which served better wine than this one!

***

That was fun." Pat said next morning, a huge smile on her face.

"Fun!" Jim echoed. "That was absolutely fantastically, gorgeous, orgasmic paradise. I think we should repeat it as soon as possible."

Further thoughts on the subject were suspended as Pat's phone rang, the first of three calls over the space of the next ten minutes.

"I'm sorry I sounded off, yesterday," Emily said. "Can we meet this morning and kiss and make up?"

Two minutes later: "I'm just not compatible with my editor," Jonathan said. "Can we meet tonight in that wine bar, and I promise not to stand you up this time."

Five minutes after that: "If I get Mum out the way this afternoon," Abigail said, "can I pop round and discuss breast enhancement?"

"We could make it tomorrow," Jim said hopefully, after he'd heard Pat's end of all three conversations.

Patrick knew that one of his problems was that he never could say no. As Pat, she realised that was not a problem!