By Jennifer Sue
Chapter 1: I’m A Girl!
By the age of two Earl had painfully learned not to tell anyone he was a girl. They all insisted he was a boy like his dumb brothers. Even paying dolls with his girl cousins wrong. He simply didn’t understand why they could play with dolls and he couldn’t. But he did learn not to bring the subject up. He hated playing with his brothers and boy cousins but he was not given a choice. The really sad thing is with each chastisement, the happy, smiling and often laughing toddler steadily morphed into a repressed, quiet and solemn little boy.
<*> <*> <*>
It was another happy Thanksgiving for the extended Daly family. The children and grandchildren had gathered at their parent’s home. In the crowded house three year old Earl had been able to sneak playing with his girl cousins while his brothers and boy cousins played yucky football outside. Earl was not like his brothers. They liked to play hard and make a lot of noise. Earl was shy and liked to play quietly avoiding the rough play of his brothers. His mommy, aunts and gammy worked on the meal in the kitchen while his daddy, uncles and pappy were yelling at the dumb football games on TV.
It was mid afternoon when they all sat around the two large tables to enjoy the huge meal. The yummy pumpkin pie topped by whipped cream was the perfect way to top off the delicious meal. They all sat back, smiling and rubbing their full tummies.
Then gammy began asking her grandkids what they wanted for Christmas going from the oldest to the youngest, Earl. When Gammy finally asked him what he wanted, he was afraid to say anything. He knew his daddy didn’t like him and would not be happy with what he really wanted so he just lowered his head and bit his lips and shrugged his shoulders. Gammy insisted Earl stop being so bashful and tell her what he wanted for Christmas but he kept quiet.
“Damn it Earl, tell Gammy what you want for Christmas,” James, his daddy, impatiently scolded. “Speak up, boy, don’t be such a damn moron!”
Earl knew he had to answer otherwise he’d really be in trouble. With his heart pounding and afraid of another spanking he was too anxious to make something up. “I... I want a doll...” he blurted instantly knowing he’d said the wrong thing as he clamped his hands over his betraying mouth.
The room fell silent as every eye trained on him.
“What a sissy,” his brother Jeff sneered.
“That cuts it,” James snarled. “Linda, I’ve told you you’ve been coddling him too damn much! No more! He’s got to learn that he’s a boy! I won’t raise a damn sissy!”
Earl couldn’t stop the tears as they burst forth.
“God damn it Earl, stop crying like a sissy girl!” James bellowed. “Or I’ll give you something to cry about!”
Earl tried to stop the tears but it was hopeless. He was plainly terrified of his father.
James pushed his chair back and stormed around the table to grab Earl’s wrist ripping him from the chair. Earl screamed in fear as he dangled by the arm as his father, well before the open hand of his dad’s other hand began landing sharp slaps on the boys jostling tush. Things grew worse when Earl’s terror overtook him as his bladder let loose. The pant legs of his kicking legs quickly saturated and the urine splattered everywhere while Earl’s screams ratcheted up into hysteria.
James exploded when the urine hit him. “Jesus f...king Christ!” He bellowed as he held the flailing piss strewing boy away from him.
“James! That’s enough,” Jane, Earl’s Gammy ordered as the droplets continued flying. “Put him down. I’ve taught you better than that!”
James shook with barely stifled anger as he dropped Earl to the floor as far away as he could. Landing with dripping legs splayed, the boy bounced off his butt then fell back towards his dad smacking the back of his head on the hardwood floor with a resounding THUNK! Earl opened his mouth to scream in pain but was so physically and mentally traumatized he simply froze in mid silent scream. After three seconds he turned his head to projectile vomit... all over his dad’s feet!
“Son-of-a-b...” James yelped as he flinched away from the vile slurry only to slip and fall on his butt landing with and even louder THUNK!!
With his stomach emptied, Earl curled up into a soggy pathetically sobbing ball. Jane knelt beside her hysterically crying grandson to comfort him. The kids choked back their shock at the events and choked back their urge to get sick as they fled from the room. The uncles followed the kids ostensibly to keep an eye on them.
“John, talk some sense into your son,” Jane ordered her husband. “Behavior like that went out in the fifties! I told you over and over your redneck discipline would come back to bite us! You can see I was right!”
John stood from his chair and motioned James to follow him to his workshop. Linda got a bucket of water, wash cloths and disinfectant cleaner to begin cleaning the mess. The other women began quietly clearing the table. Jane managed to get Earl to his feet and into the bathroom and tub to strip and wash him. Earl was trembling and breathing/sobbing in a heart rending stuttering manner that only stopped when he cried himself to sleep.
John led James into the shop where James stripped off his shoes, pants and socks. While James cleaned his vomit soaked shoes John took the pants and socks into the laundry letting Jane know before heading back to the shop.
Jane laid Earl on her bed and rinsed his soggy and vomit spattered clothes before running them and James’ clothes through her washer and dryer.
Needless to say the festive Thanksgiving mood had been erased. Instead of the extended family spending the evening together, as soon as the food was put away and the dishes done, the families quietly packed up and left.
The ride home was made in silence. James was still furious that Earl had embarrassed him which forced him to loose control. He couldn’t even look at his forlorn youngest strapped safely into his car seat. Once safe in his bed, Earl cried himself to sleep. It had been a horrible day.
The next day while Linda did some Black Friday shopping, James took the boys into the back yard to teach Earl how to play football. The older boys took it easy on their little brother until they realized their dad wanted them to TEACH Earl how to play. Earl quickly learned that crying did no good. He also learned bloody noses will stop bleeding. Slowly and painfully he was learning how to ‘Suck it up’.
That night Earl pulled the sheets over his head, buried his face into the pillow and cried himself to sleep. Saturday morning as they sat at the breakfast table Zack made the mistake of teasing Earl for crying himself to sleep causing James to shoot a frown in Earl’s direction.
Earl knew he had to take immediate action. “I did not! You’re lying!” Earl screamed as he slid from his chair with his fork in his hand and ran toward Zack raising it menacingly above his head to stab him.
“Earl, stop,” Linda cried out in horror.
James quickly reacted and was able to snatch the fork from Earl’s hand before he could attack. “That’s enough, Earl. I’m sure Zack was just teasing you, weren’t you Zackery?”
Zack had frozen as his whacked little brother charged him with the fork poised to stab. His dad’s stern words snapped him back to reality. “Yeah... Yeah, I was just teasing you, Earl. Sorry,”
Earl malevolently glared at Zack as he backed away, shooting daggers at Jeff just in case.
The rest of the family realized Earl had changed. Gone was the wimpy but happy little sissy. They wondered if they’d created a monster.
Either Earl did a better job muffling his nightly tears or Zack wisely kept his mouth shut.
<*> <*> <*>
Christmas morning found Jeff and Zack eagerly waiting at the Christmas tree. They knew they had to wait for their parents before attacking the many gifts. After what seemed an eternity James and Linda came downstairs.
“Where’s Earl?” Linda asked noting his absence.
“He was still in bed,” Zack answered.
“Go get him,” Linda sighed. “You both better go and be gentle.”
“Awww...” the brothers moaned.
“You know your father and I want our coffee before we let you dig in,” Linda stated. “Now go get Earl.”
The boys scrambled up to the bedroom Zack and Earl shared to find their weird little brother curled beneath his blankets.
“Come on, Earl,” Jeff urged as he shook the pile of blankets and sheets. “Mom wants you downstairs so we can open our presents.”
“Don’t want no presents,” Earl’s muffled voice snapped back as he pulled the sheets tighter about him.
“Earl... you don’t want dad to get upset and come get you,” Jeff urged. “Zack and I gotta stay here so we can all go down together.”
Grumpily Earl emerged. After taking care of necessities the brothers headed down to the tree.
James and Linda had their coffee in hand and James also had the movie camera. Zack and Jeff tore into the presents while Earl just stood to one side. At five, Zack could recognize his name on the present tags while seven year old Jeff could read the names of all three. Jeff gently tossed Earl’s gifts at his feet as he and Zack sorted the presents. Earl made no effort to even look at the gifts piling at his feet.
“Come on Earl,” Linda urged as Zack and Jeff eagerly tore open their gifts. “Aren’t you excited?”
Earl simply shook his head “no”.
Linda glanced at James noting he was growing impatient with Earl. Earl caught her glance and saw the look on his dad’s face. With a sigh of hopelessness he sat and reluctantly began opening his gifts. While his brothers snapped the ribbons and literally shredded the wrapping paper, Earl carefully removed the bow, then slipped the ribbon off before finding and slipping a finger under the Scotch tape to keep the paper whole. By the time he had his first gift opened with the wrapping paper neatly folded and the bow and ribbon placed upon it his brothers had all their gifts opened, whooping in delight over each gift. When Earl looked at what he’d unwrapped he sighed deeply and sat it aside without opening the box. He had no interest in a dump truck. Jeff and Zack were excitedly playing with their presents while Earl sullenly unwrapped his gifts, saving the paper, ribbons, and bows but never opening the boxes holding the toys. However he did neatly stack the unwrapped but unopened boxes from largest to smallest. Then he gathered the wrapping paper, ribbons and bows, carrying them upstairs leaving the toys behind.
“What the hell is wrong with that boy,” James groused to Linda. “Hell, he cares more for the wrapping and ribbons than the actual toys! I thought we were getting over that sissy crap.”
“James, that’s enough,” Linda scolded softly keeping the conversation from the other boys. “Just how blind and stupid are you? While Earl interacts with Jeff, Zack and you he does NOT play with you. Are you even aware that he has not smiled or laughed since Thanksgiving? He’s not just being moody, he’s absolutely unhappy! If he were older I’d be seriously worried about suicide!”
“Suicide? At his age? Get real,” James scoffed. “He’s just being moody. He’ll get over it.”
“I don’t think so,” Linda said. “A three year old doesn’t stay moody for an entire month. You saw how he reacted when Zack teased him about crying himself to sleep. There was murder in his eyes! If you hadn’t snatched that fork he would have stabbed Zack and it wouldn’t have been a love tap! You’ve pushed him too far. We need to back off.”
“Back off?” James sneered. “Do you want him to be a damn sissy?”
“I want him to be alive,” Linda fought back tears. “I don’t want to bury any of our children. And No, I’m not being dramatic! I’d rather have a live sissy than a dead son! Have you seen him playing with any toys? Have you seen him smile? Have you heard him laugh? Open your damn eyes! At the rate he’s going since you “straightened him out” he’ll either kill himself or flip out and kill people! Do you really want to be the father of a mass shooter? That’s what you’re driving him toward!” With that she stormed into the kitchen crying quietly so as not to disturb the boys.
Jeff and Zack were oblivious to what had been going on. James was chagrined. A small part of him understood what Linda was saying but his stubborn machismo refused to accept having a sissy son. After a bit of internal debate and deep thought, he decided he could ease off the pressure he’d been putting on Earl to ‘man up’ without letting the sissy re-emerge.
After a light lunch the family dressed and headed over to the grandparents to join the extended family for an afternoon of opening presents and supper. Earl managed to avoid the limelight by quietly keeping off to one side. Caught up in the Christmas gift exchange frenzy the cousins didn’t even notice Earl’s intentional solitude. Linda quietly and unobtrusively as possible gathered up the gifts meant for Earl and placed them by his side. Knowing he had no choice he quietly and carefully unwrapped each gift saving the paper, ribbons and bows. As before he stacked the unwrapped and unopened gifts from largest to smallest and carefully gathered the wrappings.
The family had a lively discussion at the table about their gifts with the exception of Earl who quietly nibbled his food and steadfastly avoided all attempts at conversation. Jane and the aunts noticed Earl’s reticence and solemn demeanor. As the women cleaned up after the meal, Earl avoided everyone and simply sat near the fireplace staring unmoving into the flickering flames as if mesmerized.
Linda told the women Earl had not smiled or laughed since Thanksgiving. She explained how James was doing all he could to force Earl to ‘man up’ and keep him from becoming a sissy adding that while sissy behavior had stopped, silent anger had emerged. She told of his attempt to stab Zack with a fork and how he refused to cry when injured. All the women attempted to draw Earl out but the best they response they achieved was a cold, dead stare. They all realized the boy was hurting and unable to be the person he was inside.
Jane managed to get her husband, John, and James to one side. She related what she and the other women saw in Earl’s behavior. James realized Earl had avoided becoming involved in the festivities and had indeed not smiled once. John and Linda warned James to ease off on the solemn clearly depressed boy before permanent damage was done to his psyche.
<*> <*> <*>
Earl never played with any of the presents he’d received. They sat stacked in their unopened boxes at the foot of his bed. He never smiled. He didn’t watch TV unless forced by his dad to watch something like the Stupid Bowl. Using the papers Zack brought home from kindergarten he taught himself to read. By Easter he was able to make his way through Jeff’s second grade books. Each weekend James took the boys outside to play. While Jeff and Zack enthusiastically joined in, Earl simply went along with the flow, doing just enough to satisfy his dad.
At Easter the grandkids were all dressed nicely so there was no way they’d be allowed to play normally. Earl had been told to stay with his brothers and cousins. Instead they listened to their favorite music. Gammy Jane was upset that the older kids were listening to oft violent and quite sexist rap music. She gathered her grandkids in the living room to watch videos of music from when she was a teenager. To their surprise, the kids found most of the music was good and often funny. All but Earl laughed at one particular video.
One girl was called Jean Marie
Another little girl was called Felicity
Another little girl was Sally Joy
The other was me, and I'm a boy
My name is Bill, and I'm a head case
They practice making up on my face
Yeah, I feel lucky if I get trousers to wear
Spend evenings taking hairpins from my hair
I'm a boy, I'm a boy
But my ma won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy
But if I say I am, I get it
Put your frock on, Jean Marie
Plait your hair, Felicity
Paint your nails, little Sally Joy
Put this wig on, little boy
I'm a boy, I'm a boy
But my ma won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy
But if I say I am, I get it
I want to play cricket on the green
Ride my bike across the street
Cut myself and see my blood
I want to come home all covered in mud
I'm a boy, I'm a boy
But my ma won't admit it
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy
I'm a boy, I'm a boy, I'm a boy
Earl felt his insides twist as he listened to the song. It spoke to his soul. Unlike shown in the video, he realized the ‘boy’ singing the song had been born a girl who felt in HIS soul that he had been born in the wrong body. That was the exact opposite of how he felt! He finally understood that he was a GIRL who had the misfortune to be born with a boy’s body! That was a mighty revelation for an almost four year old. The song indelibly imprinted into his psyche.
The women quizzed Linda about Earl. She reported that while Earl had still not smiled and did not show enthusiasm for anything, he didn’t seem to be getting any worse. James had backed off forcing Earl to join his brothers but he still strongly encouraged it. She reported he’d not touched any of the toys he’d gotten for Christmas but had taught himself to read and do simple math using his brothers’ worksheets and books. When she had time, Linda sat with him helping him to read harder books and how to write. However, for the most part, Earl was content to be by him self which the women noted from his lack of interaction with his cousins.
Monday after Easter was a school holiday so the older boys set to playing video games. The revelation that he was a girl stuck in a boy‘s body consumed Earl’s thoughts. Sharing a bedroom with his brother had never felt right but it was how it had always been. Last night had been horrible. A girl shouldn’t share a bedroom with her brother. Earl headed upstairs to his shared bedroom to think. Their home only had three bedrooms. Jeff, as the oldest, had his own room. Earl thought about where he could make his own bedroom. The only place open was up in the attic. Pulling his blankets and sheets off his bed he dragged it all up to the attic. Off to one side of the steps he made himself a nest. The attic was eight feet high in the center sloping to nothing on both sides with a window at either end. The room was uninsulated, unheated and uncooled. The mid April late morning temperature was about 56° but grew colder at night. Earl figured being cold was better than sharing a bedroom.
Sitting on the mattress pad, he pulled the rest of the sheets and blankets over his head basking in the darkness and trapped warmth. Morosely he let his mind wander, not understanding why no one would believe that he was a girl. The “I’m a Boy” video he’d watched at his grandparents kept rolling through his mind. Mentally he re-wrote the words to fit himself softly singing the song to himself.
Get your ball glove, Jeffery
Kick the football, Zackery
Go tackle both your brothers, Earl
Can't man up cause I'm a girl
I'm a girl, I'm a girl, but my da won't allow it
I'm a girl, I'm a girl, but if I say I am, I get it
I want to play dolls so happily
Skip about the yard and laugh
Dance and twirl in ruffled skirt
Hiding my girlhood makes my heart hurt
I'm a girl, I'm a girl, but my da won't allow it
I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl,
I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'm a girl,
I'm a girl, I'm a girl, I'M A GIRL!
At lunch Linda called the boys to the kitchen. Zack and Jeff came in but there was no sign of Earl. She sent the boys to find Earl. Soon they were downstairs reporting he wasn’t upstairs but his bed had been stripped. Linda knew he hadn’t come downstairs so that left the attic. She told the boys to begin eating as she headed up to the attic.
Finding Earl was easy. “Earl, what are you doing?” She gently asked.
“I’m moving my bedroom up here,” Earl firmly declared from beneath his covers.
“We’ll have to talk about that,” Linda answered neutrally. “Right now, lunch is ready so come down to eat.
Earl squirmed out of his makeshift nest and followed his mother to the kitchen.
After Jeff and Zack finished their meal and returned to their video games, Linda began questioning Earl about why he wanted his own bedroom.
“I don’t like sharing with Zack,” Earl declared. “We’re too different. Jeff already has his own room and it wouldn’t be fair to make him share. If I have my own room then so should Zack. Since I’m the one that wants to be alone I’ll rough it in the attic. I know it’s chilly up there but I’ll put up with that to be alone.”
Linda was surprised by Earl’s coherent reasoning. He didn’t want to put out either brother so he’d accept the hardship. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea but after supper we’ll talk to your father,” Linda declared. “Why don’t we sit down and you can read to me. Later you can help with supper.”
Fortunately Earl agreed.
Linda caught James as soon as he came home and explained that Earl had pulled his sheets off the bed and moved his bedroom into the attic and why.
For once James thought before reacting. “Let him stay up there until he changes his mind. He’ll come down on his own.”
Linda agreed since she thought the same thing.
During supper Linda had Earl explain to his father and brothers that he was moving his bedroom to the attic so the brothers each had their own bedroom. Zack was delighted but James cautioned they could try it to see how it works out, leaving open the possibility Earl could move back in with his brother. Rules were established where the older boys could not try to scare Earl. Earl was not allowed to keep the light on at night. An extension cord with a nightlight would be run from an attic outlet to the attic stairway so Earl could see if he needed to come down to use the bathroom. The parents expected the experiment to last a day or two.
After a week Linda and James attempted to talk Earl into returning downstairs but he steadfastly refused. After a month, James and Linda relocated Earl’s bed and dresser into the attic. There were a few electrical outlets in the attic so a clamp on desk light was attached to his headboard so he had a source of light at night. Even the spring thunderstorms didn’t chase the determined Earl downstairs. The loud crashes and brilliant flashes of light seemed to have no effect. Earl found the drumming of the rain on the metal roof soothing. Rather than watch TV, he’d head to his attic eyrie to read.
During that time Earl avoided his family as much as he could. Jeff and Zach willingly obliged their sullen quiet brother. Trying to get the recalcitrant boy involved in their play was simply not worth the effort. While James made Earl join the older boys in playing baseball or soccer or football, it was clear the morose boy had absolutely no enthusiasm for sport of any kind, simply going through the expected motions with no heart. The only good thing was that James realized yelling at Earl only drove the boy further inside himself.
<*> <*> <*>
By Memorial Day at the family picnic, things took a darker turn. Knowing what was expected of him only made the already recalcitrant just turned four year old Earl more frustrated and angry. With grim determination Earl reluctantly joined in the rough housing play of his male cousins and brothers while not even talking to his girl cousins. The girls ignored him like they did the other boys. There was a dump truck load of topsoil about ten feet in diameter and six feet high, perfect for a raucous day of king of the mountain.
The rough and tumble play quickly deteriorated into mayhem with Earl firmly at the center of the chaos. It had taken a few moments for Earl to grasp the game. The boys were wrestling/fighting to be the king standing on the high point of the mound repelling all challengers. Often the king and his primary attacker would tumble down together while a third attacker then took the top. Since he was the smallest and youngest, Earl knew he had no chance of winning an really didn’t want to win. After several rough tumbles down the hill, he settled on the strategy of being a spoiler. Instead of trying to get to the top, he followed behind grabbing feet and yanking those above him. Losing their balance they came tumbling down, often grabbing another in a desperate effort to regain their balance and avoid tumbling down the hill. Several times three or even four of the cousins tumbled down landing atop Earl. Despite being hurt, Earl clenched his teeth and literally fought through the pain, not even noticing the blood gushing from his nose.
The blood acted like glue pasting dirt wherever the blood splattered. Earl's face, chest, pants and arms were quickly coated with blud, dirt mixed with blood. The cousins were also getting banged up. They were all too stubborn to admit it so the chaos continued.
The women noticed that while Earl was in the thick of the action, he wasn't laughing, joking or bragging like the others. His muddy face was one of hostile determination and fury. His cousins quickly learned that although he was the smallest and youngest, he wouldn't stop until he had done as much damage as possible. They learned to fear the tough little kid and avoid him.
"Does Earl ever smile?" Jane asked Linda.
"I haven't seen him smile since that fiasco at Thanksgiving," Linda unhappily answered. "James has driven the sissy out of him and toughened him up. Earl refuses to cry even if the boys give him a bloody nose. When that happens he goes after whoever bloodied him so he can bloody them."
"That isn't good," Jane sighed. "Is James treating him better?"
"He hasn't hit any of the boys since that night," Linda replied. "Jeff and Zack seem to be okay, but Earl... he just seems so utterly sad. He insisted he wanted his own bedroom to get away from Zack so he stripped his bed and moved into the attic. We let him do it but said it was okay to return to sharing with Zack, figuring he'd last a day or two in the unfinished and unheated attic. After a month we moved his bedroom furniture up. I'm trying to talk James into letting me enroll him in a preschool so he gets more age appropriate socialization."
"That sounds like a good idea," Jane sighed as she watched Earl run full tilt into his oldest cousin, Simon, taking him to the ground.
As the big lad climbed to his feet he noticed there were muddy red streaks on his pants. Looking at Earl's angry face he noted the tough little guy was blowing dark red bubbles from his nose. "Shit," Simon whispered to himself. Afraid he might set his maniacal cousin off, he spoke up. "Guys, let's take a break and get something to drink"
All the boys were filthy and thirsty after nearly twelve minutes of non-stop intense rough and tumble action. As they trooped towards the patio for drinks Simon brought up the rear of the group. Raising his hands high he waved them back and forth to get the women's attention. Once they noticed him he placed a finger against his mouth in a shushing manner, then pointed at Earl with one hand while pointing at his nose with the other, switching to a quick finger movement down from his nose to indicate bleeding.
The women looked at the approaching boys noting how they were covered with dirt. They also saw Simon signaling. Instantly they realized Earl was dirtier than the others, muddy even, but it had been days since it rained. Linda realized the dirt was mixed with blood. "Oh God, Earl's bleeding," she gasped as she stood along with Jane.
The other women made the boys dust off and wash their faces and hands before getting drinks. Jane ushered the taciturn Earl into the mud/laundry room with Linda right behind. As Jane began wiping his face, fresh blood began oozing out of his nose. Linda was washing his hands and arms. Both noted the mud was dirt mixed with blood. Jane asked, "Oh Earl, why didn't you stop when you started bleeding?"
"I'm tough," Earl mumbled stoically. "It's just blood."
Jane and Linda exchanged looks of frustrations.
"You don't have to be that tough," Jane sighed.
"Yes I do," Earl insisted. "I can’t be a sissy!"
That comment and deadly serious response made Jane frown as she looked at Linda. "Well this is my place and I want you to not play with the boys anymore today. You can sit and read or even play with the girls like you used to do."
"I can't play with the girls!" Earl declared. "I'm not a sissy! I'll read."
They wound up stripping Earl and laundering his blood/mud encrusted clothes. The lad sat quietly the rest of the day reading. Jane once more chewed James out for what he was doing to Earl. James insisted he had backed off pushing Earl to “man up” but at the same time insisted he wouldn’t allow the boy to be a sissy.
<*> <*> <*>
During the next months the quiet solemn little boy morphed into a reclusive, never smiling, morose and easily angered boy. When expected to play with his brothers and cousins he did, however, his play was more like a brawl. When the play turned rough he became expert in hurting those who hurt him, an often vicious self defense. While others were just playing around, Earl acted with determined hostility as if his life depended on it. The brothers and cousins learned not to antagonize the increasing tough recalcitrant boy. With their larger size they could easily hurt Earl, but he had indeed learned to suck it up and fight back through his pain. In fact, he seemed to thrive on pain. He became short tempered and quick to lash out when pushed. On the other hand he never went looking for trouble. Often he could be heard humming a tune or singing in a soft mumbling voice “I’m a girl”. While the family knew it was always the same tune, they couldn’t catch enough of the words to figure it out and he angrily clammed up if anyone asked. The entire family worried about Earl.
Linda placed ten inch table fan on the nightstand in his attic eyrie. The temperature often soared into the 120° during the day and during hot days hovered around 100° at night. Earl never complained and silently endured the heat.
Earl also began using the family computer to read and listen to music on YouTube. Several times he surreptitiously watched the “I’m a Boy” video wishing he could be Bill welcoming being treated like a girl. Muting the sound he quietly sung the words he’d composed. Linda noted his intensity as he sat quietly while his brothers raucously played video games. Several times she checked to see what he was reading or watching but found nothing out of place or anything X or R rated. That the little guy could clearly read impressed her.
Quietly she suggested to James that they should get a cheap notebook computer for Earl. James replied that if they got him one they’d have to get them for Jeff and Zack as well which scotched the idea. But it did make James aware Earl was on the family computer quite a bit. Like Linda, he checked to see what Earl was watching or reading. Begrudgingly he agreed Earl would be better off having his own.
James was a skilled HVAC service tech working for a large local company. Part of the job required him to be on call for emergency service during which he brought his work van home for quicker responses. Each service tech used a notebook on the job to look up technical info and to check on parts as well as do on-site invoices. A few weeks after the discussion about getting a notebook for Earl, his employer upgraded their computer system with new notebooks going to each service tech. When he learned the old notebooks were to be trashed, James asked if he could buy three for his sons. Since James was a top employee, the owner gave him three old books after having the company computer tech scrub proprietary info from the units.
The boys were delighted with the unexpected gift of notebooks. They were warned about improper use as well as taking care of the units. Earl quickly took his notebook and began tweaking it while Jeff and Zack only used theirs a few days until the novelty wore off. Earl carried his everywhere, reading or listening to music to soothe his battered soul.
Despite the frosty winter chill in the attic and the sweltering heat of summer, Earl didn’t complain and accepted the discomfort as part of having his own space. Yet each night, in the privacy of his attic bed, Earl buried his face in his pillow an cried himself to sleep. In the dark he mumbled to himself, talking to the shadows about his horrible life as well as the nighttime darkness. It was only in his dreams that he found solace in the nicer things his new life denied him. When he awoke that solace was replaced by guilt and self hatred.
In the fall Earl started preschool. The hoped for socialization with age-mates failed to materialize. He steadfastly refused to play with the girls or do anything that might earn him the much dreaded label of ‘sissy’. At the same time he didn’t enjoy typical boy activities and play. While he half-heartedly played with the boys, he did so angrily which usually degenerated into violence. The violence discouraged the boys from wanting to play with him and Earl wound up in time outs. As had become his normal, he never smiled or laughed and it seemed as if his face was frozen in a demi-frown. He would answer questions and even asked questions, but for the most part he was intensely quiet. By the end of the second week, he’d earned the enmity of the other boys and the frustrations of the teachers and aides. They did discover that he seemed happiest, at least relatively compared to his normal anger, if he was allowed to be alone. At least while alone he stayed out of trouble. With no one willing to play with him, when they went outside for free time play, Earl simply ran around the playground. As the weeks passed, he incorporated jumping and tumbling over the outdoor toys developing a style of kiddie-parkour. The teachers were concerned as he leapt and tumbled about the playground but he never cried or complained when he landed hard. They were more concerned some of the other boys would try to copy him but Earl’s dour demeanor kept others from following his lead.
During lesson time, Earl excelled. The staff were amazed at his ability to read. He was also meticulous staying within the lines when coloring pictures. Even freehand drawing his pictures were easily identifiable. Other than having virtually no interaction with the other kids, he was doing well. At home he poured over the books and worksheets his brothers brought home devouring every bit of knowledge he could.
<*> <*> <*>
By Thanksgiving the entire extended family realized Earl was off in his own world. While polite and obedient, he made no effort to interact with the family although he begrudgingly interacted if they specifically asked him. After Thanksgiving dinner when Jane asked the grandkids what they wanted for Christmas, she was filled with trepidation when she asked Earl. Everyone held their breath.
"I do not want any presents," Earl declared flatly. “I haven't taken the presents anyone got me last year out of their boxes. Just give me cash, then if there is something I want I can get it."
The family was relieved there had been no drama and the request was reasonable. Of course it was not normal for a four year old but then Earl was most certainly not a normal four year old.
Christmas went off without a hitch. At home, since he could read and to get him at least somewhat involved in the holiday, Linda asked Earl to dispense the gifts, doing so efficiently. Earl opened the envelopes addressed to him, barely glancing at the cards before snatching the cash inside. Later at the grandparents with the extended family, Earl again dispensed the gifts, amazing the adults with his ability to read. Again he merely scanned the card before pocketing the money.
<*> <*> <*>
The next incident happened just as the school year was ending. James normally took the boys with him to the barbershop every six weeks. They’d get their hair trimmed to no more than one inch long on the top while tapering shorter down the sides and back towards the neck. Earl had managed to elude accompanying his brothers for the last five trips. James was growing upset that Earl’s hair had grown to nearly three inches long. In the past he’d announced haircut day in advance which had enable Earl to weasel his way out of getting his hair cut.
Saturday morning as the family ate breakfast James announced they’d all be taking a ride when they were done. Jeff and Zach eagerly pestered him about where they were heading but James just smiled and said it was a surprise. As usual Earl sat sullenly quiet. After the dishes were put away the family of five piled into their SUV. Only a mile away they pulled into the strip mall parking lot outside the three seat barber shop the family used.
Jeff frowned and asked “Our surprise is going to the barber?”
Pleased with his deception James answered, “When we’re done we’ll go to Cabelas and get you fishing gear for when we go camping this summer.”
From his car seat Earl glared daggers at his father but kept quiet.
“Good morning, James,” the head barber greeted. “Trims for the you and the boys?”
“Yep,” James smiled in return. “Even managed to corral Earl this time so we’d best start with him.”
It was clear to everyone that Earl was far from pleased. They all saw the pure rage in his eyes and his tightly clenched fists.
“Hello Earl,” the barber greeted in a friendly manner trying not to set the youngster off as he placed a booster seat on his chair. “Climb up on this booster seat.”
Earl glared daggers at the man and his father. “I’m not getting my hair cut,” Earl growled in response.
“Yes you are,” James firmly pronounced as he grabbed Earl by his upper arms lifting him to the booster seat.
“NOOOOOOO!” Earl primally screamed as he twisted, kicked and squirmed to escape. One flailing foot found it’s mark in James’ groin.
“OOOFFF!” James gasped as he doubled over dropping Earl.
Earl dropped into a roll coming out on his feet and was out the door of the shop like a bullet. By then James was on his knees holding his groin. Jeff, Zack, the barbers and customers stared wide eyed and open mouthed.
“Earl,” Linda yelled as the little lightening streak flashed passed her. She followed him out the door.
Earl ran as if his life depended upon it, dodging and weaving through the cars on the parking lot. Reaching the road he turned and ran on the berm heading back home. A few customers stepped outside to watch the chase, clearly amazed the little kid could run so fast. Linda gave chase, at first slowly gaining ground on him. However, she wasn’t used to running, so quickly ran out of breath. Although she’d gotten within fifty feet, she was too winded to continue. Fear, anger and downright hatred for his father energized Earl as he ran. He didn’t even hear his mother calling after him.
By the time Linda returned to the barber shop she was furious. James sat on a chair still wincing in discomfort. Jeff and Zach were getting their hair trimmed.
“I hope you’re happy,” Linda snapped. “I told you this was a bad idea! He’s gone, I assume and hope he’s heading home. “I’m taking the SUV to find him. You three can walk home!” With that she left.
Linda saw no sign of Earl until she pulled into the driveway. Earl defiantly sat on the front steps.
“You tried to trick me,” Earl growled as he stood with his fists balled. “I refuse to get my hair cut! I don’t care how long it gets! If you force me to get it cut there will be hell to pay! Like dad says, payback is a bitch! It might take weeks or even years but I’ll get back at you!”
Linda was stunned by the sheer hatred in Earl’s words. A chill swept through her as she realized he was dead serious about exacting revenge. It had already been a year and a half since that horrible Thanksgiving and he had not recovered from that and was still holding a grudge. The anger and hatred that had been roiling his soul had boiled out.
“Okay, no haircut,” Linda soothed. “I promise. But you will have to keep your hair clean and brushed.”
“Okay,” Earl simmered down.
“Please come with me while I go get your dad and brothers,” Linda soothed.
To her surprise he did so. When the guys got into the car they all looked at Earl, James with barely controlled anger.
“”Don’t you dare try to retaliate,” Linda huffed to James. “I found him at home sitting on the front steps. I’ve promised him we will not force him to get a haircut on the condition he keeps his hair clean and brushed. That’s the end of it!”
While there was a lot more discussion between the parents after the boys were in bed, Earl was allowed to let his hair grow. James was finally learning Earl was his own person and unafraid to stick up for himself.
<*> <*> <*>
Each summer the family went camping and fishing. Earl learned with a determination that put his brothers to shame. He got a weird thrill skewering the worms on the fishing hook. He gleefully learned to gut the fish and chop off their heads. At the same time he learned how to set up a campfire, learning how to assemble the wood and tinder.
For most activities the family was doing Earl cooperated. When it came to organized sports, Earl adamantly refused to join a team. He’d attend games in which Jeff and Zach played although he never cheered them on. He didn’t put up a fuss during the occasional family excursion to a professional game, usually the local AA MBL affiliate. But it was clear in his posture and attitude he was far from a happy camper The family learned to accept Earl as an intense, tough, quiet, solemn boy. James learned not to force Earl into activities.
The school district had four elementary schools K through 4, two middle schools grades 5 through 8, and one high school grades 9 through 12. By the time Earl took the tests for placement in kindergarten he blew the testers away with his ability to read, write and do math at a third grade level, oldest brother Jeff’s grade from the previous year, as well as how articulate he was. The people doing the testing realized Earl would be bored silly in kindergarten since he was far past that point. They decided to let him skip kindergarten. The main concern was how he would interact with his classmates. Linda explained that Earl had no sense of humor, never smiled and liked being alone to the point that although he interacted with his brothers, he didn’t play with them. In addition she explained that while he never started any conflicts, if he was pushed, he’d lash out.
<*> <*> <*>
When the school year began, Earl started first grade, Jeff started fourth grade and Zack began second grade. The kids in the first grade class quickly learned Earl had skipped kindergarten to join their class. That created animosity between the age appropriate first graders and Earl. Earl’s taciturn demeanor only added to the disconnect as he made no effort to make friends with his classmates. The fact he blew through all the lessons further alienated him from his classmates. During recess he ran nonstop doing parkour moves wherever he could. Everyone at the school wondered about the weird quiet boy with the penchant for running while admiring his parkour skills.
Some of the older guys, especially Rick, the huge eleven year old fourth grader, thought Earl needed to be put in his place. When they learned Earl was the little brother of Jeff and Zach, they began taunting the brothers about their weirdo baby brother. Fortunately James and Linda had anticipated such situations and discussed how to handle it. Jeff and Zach merely shrugged their shoulders readily agreeing Earl was weird.
That reaction confused the potential bullies. Rick frowned, “Aren’t you going to stick up for him?”
“We don’t have too stick up for Earl,” Jeff laughed. “And you don’t want to mess with him. Zach and I avoid fighting him. Earl likes pain. The more he’s hurt, the harder he fights, and he fights to win. If he gets a bloody nose he laps up the blood and swallows it. Somehow it energizes him. If you’re dumb enough to want to tease him, be prepared to be hurt because once he lashes out, he won’t stop.”
Several of the kids who were friends of Jeff and Zack and often visited the Daly home verified the brothers were speaking the truth. “He tries to walk away but if he’s cornered, look out. He totally freaks out and there is no stopping him.”
The bullies kept a wary eye on Earl for several days but saw nothing that hinted he presented any danger. They even spoke to his classmates discovering he was just as weird in class as he was on the playground but had shown no violent tendencies. That only increased their curiosity and animosity. One day during recess they set themselves up to block the route Earl ran.
It was Earl’s practice when encountering human obstacles to non-aggressively change course to avoid contact which is what Earl did when faced with the wall of bullies. On the next lap the boys shifted to become more obnoxious. Their antagonistic actions didn’t phase Earl since he merely changed course. This pattern continued for several days with the boys getting increasing frustrated in stopping him. Their efforts grew bolder and more determined to provoke a confrontation.
While Earl seemingly didn’t react to the provocative actions of the bullies he was aware of them. It quickly became apparent to him they were trying to harass him. Their efforts upset him but he buried the anger using it to augment his strength and stamina. Earl channeled the emotional pressure into faster laps and more daring parkour moves.
Most of the kids on the playground quickly picked up on the actions of Rick and his recruited thugs. It became sort of a game to see how the actions of the boys escalated with every lap.
The week before Halloween, a dozen boys lined up forming a ‘V’ shaped human wall with a four feet wide space at the antapex funneling Earl toward the space. As Earl shifted for that space Rick jumped in front of Earl standing with legs spread and his hands defiantly akimbo in an arrogant superman pose with a nasty sneer on his face. Those watching gasped since Earl was going too fast to stop. The teacher on playground duty had seen everyone watching the action during Earl’s earlier laps and was heading toward the boys to scold them so she witnessed the big kid’s action.
Earl didn’t hesitate or try to swerve although he did a slight stutter step. His timing was perfect as he ran right up the front of Rick like the parkour move where you run up a wall and do a back flip to your feet. On the way up one foot impacted directly in Rick’s groin almost crushing the eleven year old’s testicles. Earl’s last step going up Rick, the kickoff for the back flip, was on Rick’s face. Earl did a high back flip as Rick toppled over backwards. Blood was gushing from the squashed nose of the silently gasping Rick as his head bounced THUNK! and bounced THUNK! a second time on the rebound off the tarmac while the impact of his torso knocked the wind out of the unprepared bully. Earl stuck the landing in the space Rick vacated and smoothly continued running as if nothing had happened.
A loud inhaled “AAAHHH...” was heard from Rick as one hand grabbed his crotch and the other grasped the back of his head while he curled into the fetal position. As soon as the massive inhale ended a loud stuttering “OHH...OHH...OHH emerged before quickly morphing into genuine crocodile tears and horrific sobs.
Everyone was stunned by the ferocity of the brief encounter. That Earl had so easily laid out Rick, a boy four times his size, seemingly without injuring himself, stunned all those who witnessed the two second encounter. That Rick, in the fetal position, was rolling about on the tarmac openly crying and bleeding heavily stunned them all. The teacher immediately pulled her phone to call for the principal and the nurse.
Earl ignored the open mouth stares as he blithely continued his parkour run about the playground. Everyone made room for him as he came near. The principal and the nurse jogged onto the playground heading directly to the crying Rick.
The principal was stunned to see the school’s biggest bully bloodied and rolling on the tarmac crying his eyes out while holding his crotch and head. He looked about expecting to see someone unconscious and bleeding but saw nothing. The nurse knelt by Rick and began triaging his injuries. She made Rick lie still and told the principal to call for an ambulance as Rick had suffered a severe concussion
“What happened?” the principal asked the playground teacher with total confusion.
“He and his cronies have been trying to block Earl from running around the playground but he ran around them,” the teacher explained. “Then they lined up leaving one place for him to run. As Earl approached the hole, at the last second Rick stepped in to block him. Earl didn’t slow, simply ran right up his body launching into a back flip off of Rick’s face. Rick went down, bouncing his head off the tarmac and I guess took a shot to the groin in the process. Earl simply landed on his feet and kept running.”
“Earl took Rick out?” The principal said with a look of disbelief on his face as he watched the little dynamo running and jumping as he circled the playground. “Rick is four times his size! It looks like he wasn’t even hurt!”
“I don’t think Earl was hurt,” the teacher agreed. “After the collision he didn’t slow down or stop. He just kept on going as if he had done one of those parkour moves running up a wall and doing a back flip. I have no idea if he intentionally took Rick out or if it just happened. I do know those boys intentionally formed a line funneling Earl to the gap and that just before Earl got there Rick stepped into the gap with his legs spread and arms akimbo intentionally blocking Earl. There was no way Earl could have stopped or avoided slamming into someone so he simply ran right up Rick.”
The other students decided not to ever mess with weird Earl when they saw the ambulance pull into the playground just as the bell ending recess rang.
That night as the Daly family ate supper, Jeff and Zach excitedly narrated the destruction of Rick. “It was so cool! Earl was running around the playground doing parkour like he always does. At the last minute Rick stepped in front of Earl in a Superman pose. Earl just ran right up his front, did a back flip off his face and kept on running. He must have kicked him in the nuts too. We heard a double THUNK as his head bounced twice off the tarmac as he went down. Rick was rolling on the ground bawling his eyes out and his nose was bleeding pretty bad! They took him away in an ambulance!”
Earl just continued eating ignoring the table conversation as usual.
Concerned Linda asked, “Earl, are you okay?”
Earl looked up momentarily to nod his head then returned to eating.
James asked, “Rick... is that the big kid who flunked two years?”
“Yeah,” Jeff chuckled. “Earl’s maybe a quarter of his size but he sure took him out!”
“Well no one from the school contacted us,” Linda said. “Do you know if Earl’s in any trouble?”
“I doubt it,” Jeff smiled. “The principal got the names of the kids who formed the wall but just looked at Earl as he was still running laps and shook his head.”
<*> <*> <*>
Frank Bean had been a top notch college athlete. Unfortunately he was also an uber jock in addition to being an ass. After graduation he was a last round pick in the NFL draft to the Eagles but was cut before the preseason ended thus never making it into the pros. That hurt his ego but the good old boy network helped land a good job. Those first years he was eager to make it big and worked hard. Frank married Karen who just completed her nursing degree and Rick soon followed. However his jock mentality kept him from advancing. Watching others be promoted while he remained stationary proved too frustrating to handle, especially as he saw those he played with and against in college making millions in the NFL. Stuck in his job, he began to drink. The more he drank, the worse his family and work lives became until he was finally fired. Karen was furious and began nagging him to get his act together. After that he’d gravitated into selling cars becoming an obnoxious but successful used car salesman. Unfortunately, he wanted to relive his glory days through his son, becoming a bully to his son and wife.
Frank pushed Rick into sports, going so far as hiring an after school personal trainer for the second grader. The personal trainer was a gung ho muscle bound flake who was able to BS Frank. Rick, desperate to please his dad, put everything he had into the “workouts” even on the days he didn’t work with the trainer. The result was Rick failing second grade. Karen had been growing increasingly upset about Frank’ obnoxious masculinity and how it was hurting Rick. His failure in school pissed her off and oft nasty arguments ensued as her frustration with Frank emerged as burgeoning shrewishness. Karen made sure Rick did his school work before working out during his second time through second grade and the trainer summarily was fired. During third grade Frank pushed Rick into playing Pop Warner Football. Then came participating in a junior wrestling league. Rick’s grades plummeted as he again put all he had into training. Karen and Frank argued every night about how forcing Rick to concentrate on sports at the expense of academics was hurting his future. By the time Little League Baseball started in late March, Rick was failing third grade. While Karen made Rick study and do his homework, Frank continued to push him to athletic excellence even telling him not to worry about school. The upshot was that Rick failed third grade. Incandescent at the out of control machismo of her husband and son, Karen pulled Rick from all sports threatening Frank with divorce if he tried to undermine her demand that sports be eliminated from Rick’s life. It was at that point Frank’s drinking began morphing from functional alcoholic to outright drunk.
Rick passed third grade the second time through. However by that point the damage had been done as Frank discovered interscholastic sports had grade and age limits. By failing two years, Rick would age out of participation in eligibility for junior and varsity sports. Most importantly, no one reaching age 19 by July of a school year could participate in varsity sports for the following school year. For Rick, that would meant he’d be ineligible to play sports during his junior and senior years of high school, years that were critical for proving one’s athletic prowess to earn collegiate athletic scholarships. Frank’s hopes of vicariously living Rick’s sports success abruptly ended any hope of a sports career. Frank proved just how much of a jerk he was by angrily belittling Rick for being stupid. Rick’s self esteem plummeted as he’d sacrificed academics trying to please his father by being an outstanding athlete.
<*> <*> <*>
Karen Bean panicked when she received a call from the school that Rick had been injured during recess and taken to the hospital. The principal told her what Rick had intentionally stepped in front of a five year old and that the little guy simply ran over Rick, that he’d fallen and bounced his head off the tarmac, had a bloody nose, and bruised groin but had not lost consciousness so the trip to the hospital was precautionary. As she left work and drove to the hospital she wondered what he'd done this time. She was fed up with Rick's bullying but knew it was all because of his redneck macho man father. It really surprised her that he had been hurt when he intentionally stepped in front of boy who was running on the playground. She was stunned when she discovered the boy who ran him over was a five year old a quarter of his size and the little kid had not been hurt! She knew Frank would flip out.
Rick was totally embarrassed and berating himself that he’d ended up in the hospital. He had a terrific headache from the concussion he'd received, two black eyes and a very tender reset nose not to mention the discomfort of a severe bruise lower down. It all happened so fast he had no idea how the little guy had run him over. His dad was going to be so pissed off he'd had his chimes rang by a five year old a quarter of his size. His mom would also rip him and his dad new ones.
When the tests and exam were over Rick was placed into intermediate care for overnight observation. Karen was relieved Rick had no permanent injury but also super upset by his actions. “Rick, you know I love you but you do some really dumb stuff! Why would you even think of messing with a little kid! You’re lucky he wasn’t hurt! You have no one to blame for your injuries but yourself. Your father has been way off base with his demands that you pursue sports and be the toughest boy in school. As of now those days are over! Do you understand?”
Rick was afraid of what his mother would do to him once he went home. He knew her punishments were far worse than his dad’s but at least she loved him.
After Rick nodded Karen did her best to console Rick hoping he’d finally learned his lesson.
Frank came into the hospital just before visiting hours ended having stopped and had a few before arriving. After learning what had happened Frank flipped. “A five year old! A freaking scrawny five year old put you in the hospital! How in the hell did he do that!?”
“He’s always running around the playground doing that parkour junk. I tried to block him,” Rick softly answered in shame.
Frank was clearly angry. “You TRIED to block him?”
Linda was getting angry at Frank’s tone of voice and knew where he was heading. “The little guy ran right over Rick. The principal said the kid wasn’t even hurt and just kept running. With his record of bullying the principal is giving Rick a two day suspension so just let it drop.”
“Let it drop? Let it DROP?” Frank hotly retorted to Karen before turning back to Rick who was trying to sink into the bed. “You let a little kid run right over you, putting you in here and he wasn’t even hurt? He should be in a comma or dead! God knows you’re such an embarrassment!”
“That’s it,” Karen hissed as she blew her temper. “Obviously you haven’t figured out this is all your fault! I should never have let you hire a personal trainer for a seven year old! He was held back twice because you filled his head with idiotic macho fantasies about sports! Now you come in here while he’s laying in bed with a concussion and your concern is not for his well being but for how he embarrassed you? You are an even bigger ass than I thought! Now you listen here, you horses ass! I’m spending the night here. First thing in the morning I’m calling the lawyer and starting divorce proceedings! When Rick is discharged and we get home tomorrow you better have your bags packed and be out of the house because I’ll be trashing everything of yours left in the house. Now get the hell out!”
Frank was left speechless, but even drunk knew better than to argue with the shrewish Karen when she was this pissed off. Angrily he stormed out of the room and the hospital.
Rick was surprised at his mom's vehemence. Even though he’d been held back two years, he wasn't dumb, but he'd been dominated and bullied by his dad all his life. The more he tried to please the man the more he pushed and bullied. Rick couldn't remember ever being praised by him but he’d sure been called every derogatory name in the book! Truth be told he was physically afraid of his dad and hoped his mom carried through with filing for divorce.
Frank tore out of the parking lot intending to stop for a few more beers. He didn't notice the police car driving past the parking lot exit until he broadsided it. Since he had his hands at twelve o'clock, the deploying airbag slammed both his hands into his face breaking his nose and blackening both eyes while knocking him out.
An hour after Frank left, Karen’s cell phone rang. When she saw it was Frank, she was tempted to let it go to voicemail. Rick had dozed off so she stepped out of the room. “What do you want?” she barked.
“Mrs Bean,” a woman’s voice asked. “I’m a nurse at St. Joseph’s hospital. Your husband was in an accident and is in emergency. His injuries are not life threatening but he has a concussion, black eyes, and a broken nose.”
Karen sighed with pent up frustration. “Did he injure anyone else?”
“He broadsided a patrol car but the officer did not require treatment,” the nurse stated. “Can you come in?”
“I”m already here,” Karen replied. “My son came through emergency this afternoon so I’m in the hospital up in intermediate care. I’ll check at the nurses station and be down.” Karen headed to the nurse’s station explained what had happened telling them she’d be back and okaying the staff to tell Rick what happened if he awoke.
By the time Karen entered the treatment room Frank was in the maudlin zone of drunkenness. “I’m sorry. I know I screwed up, big time,” he sobbed as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Please don’t throw me out.”
Karen sighed heavily. While she had lost her love for him, she still cared for lunkhead. “You’ve earned a DUI by hitting a cop. You’re drinking is out of control. If you go into rehab THIS week and stop drinking, stop, not back off, stop, I’ll give you another chance. You’ll also stop bullying Rick and me. If you don’t finish the rehab or if you take even one drink, we’re through!”
In a melancholy funk, Frank tearfully agreed.
The treating doctor decided to keep him overnight for observation of his concussion. Karen explained her son was already in the intermediate care for overnight observation for a concussion. So they made preparations to move Frank there so both could be discharged together.
Once home after being discharged, Rick had time to reflect on his life. He’d always been the largest kid in his class. The sports training he’d undergone in second grade had toughened him up and strengthened him. Even after the trainer had been fired Rick spent hours every day in their home gym working out using strengthening programs the personal trainer established. At his dad’s urging to be better in sports he’d let his academics slide resulting in being held back. His dad made him continue working out. During his first time through third grade the workout schedule established by dad took up nearly all of Rick’s free time. His mom was livid when his first report card came home. She insisted he do all of his homework before setting foot in the home gym. She also went ballistic on his dad. For the second and third marking period his grades reached 70°. The last marking period coincided with the Little League season. For his age Rick was quite bulked up but so aggressive he was often ejected from games for unnecessary roughness. That led to being benched and when his dad raised hell about his son being benched, Rick was thrown off the team. During that time, despite doing his homework, his grades once more crashed resulting in being held back to repeat third grade. Karen was so upset she forbid Rick from even attempting to join any sports teams on penalty of divorcing Frank. Without playing sports, the second time through third grade Rick earned ‘A’s, just as he was doing in fourth grade. Rick was beginning to understand his mom was right, sports made you stupid.
Rick missed two days of school. His self-esteem had been shattered. His father had instilled in him that physical prowess was the most important thing in life. Yet all it got him was flunking second and third grade and being utterly humiliated by Earl. While Earl had speed and endurance, he certainly didn’t come close to matching his own bulk and strength. Yet the little guy had steam rolled him as if he was a measly stalk of corn. Coupled with his dad’s drunken driving, hitting the cop’s cruiser, and now heading to alcoholic rehab, Rick realized strength without intelligence was simply useless redneck BS.
Frank took a medical leave from his employer to enroll in a six week alcohol rehab program.
When Rick returned to school his former henchmen avoided him. They’d had to serve in school detention for their part in the fiasco. The fact he’d been taken out by a five year old and cried his eyes out in front of the entire school ruined his tough credibility. It also tore out a huge hunk of his self confidence. The former thug found himself lacking self confidence and an outcast. Guiltily he realized that as a tough guy poser he had bullied others to make himself feel powerful.
<*> <*> <*>
By the end of the first marking period it was more than evident that first grade presented no challenge for Earl and that he was bored by the curriculum. Twice a week the guidance counselor began to administer Earl the end of year tests for first grade. He scored perfect on each test. Then she began giving him the second grade end of the first marking period tests which he again passed with perfect scores. The powers that be at the school realized that academically Earl was way beyond his classmates and that his mere presence in a classroom distracted the other students. Since Earl never broke the rules and followed instructions, and the school wanted to be rid of the bizarre genius, with the cooperation of the school librarian, they decided to have Earl report to the library instead of a classroom. The principal and Guidance Councilor wanted to set Earl up on a self study course using the syllabi for the second, third and fourth grades.
The school then contacted Linda and James about placing Earl on a self-study program based in the library where he could work at his own speed while being monitored and tested. Since he’d already finished the first grade lessons and was plowing through the second grade, he could move right on to third grade and even fourth grade material depending upon his pace and grades.
Linda and James weren’t sure what to do. They knew Earl was bored in school since he was helping Zack with his second grade lessons and Jeff with his fourth grade lessons. They understood Earl could easily handle the second grade classes but were concerned about socialization with his classmates. During parent/teacher conferences the teacher and guidance councilor bluntly informed them Earl had made zero effort to socialize with his first grade classmates and simply glared at anyone who made an effort to socialize with him. His continuous dour disposition prevented the kids from even wanting to get involved with him. Earl’s saving graces were his superb academic prowess, that he never stepped out of line, that he followed all the rules and if specifically asked to help a fellow student understand a topic willingly did so. Linda and James reluctantly agreed to allow Earl to go onto the self-study program the school was willing to set up.
Earl knew he was continually depressed and unhappy. In his heart he knew he was a girl but had a horrid boy’s body. In an effort to establish her existence, Earl decided she needed a name. Searching the internet she discovered the name Devon, which was of Celtic origins meaning ‘defender’. As Devon, she was defending and thus preserving her female self. His family had made it quite clear that he was NOT a girl and would not tolerate any girlish attitudes or activities. Even at five years old he thought about taking his own life to end his agony. What little love he had left for his family was steadily evaporating. His brothers gave up trying to make him laugh. If they tried tickling him he’d explode in a flurry of screams and retaliatory attacks. All too often Earl felt himself slipping even deeper into despair. Researching depression on the internet he stumbled over cutting to control emotional pain. The troubled boy found the entire concept of cutting yourself was bizarre yet strangely attractive.
Due to the intransigence of James and Linda concerning his gender, Devon dug in her heels, refusing to buckle under their demands she behave like a boy and was forbidden to free herself. The way she now lived was hell. Thus her dour existence. Earl was merely a hard shell used to protect the girl hidden deep inside. The flame of girlishness still burned bright inside the shell refusing to be extinguished. Learning was the only action she could do without ridicule or torment. Thus while she was well above average intellectually, the self taught and enforced discipline of learning enabled her to far exceed her peers. Cynical maturity came at the expanse of childhood.
Devon did a YouTube search for her name. The first music video listed stunned her. The song spoke to her damaged soul becoming a bizarre anthem for her life! As her Earl shell ran he softly sang the song to himself, using the beat and the words to fuel his stamina and bitterness while clinging to herself.
{Inside the Fire <*> by Disturbed <*> Disturbed )
The song brought tears to Devon’s eyes. She was a girl who’s life was denied her, forced to live a pseudo boys life she hated. She even planned for the time when she couldn’t take it anymore, she’d fix her parents! Hidden in her attic bedroom she'd hidden the utility knife she'd stolen from her dad's tools. She knew it would be messy but having to clean up her blood would be a fitting revenge for the agony they forced her to live! She'd slash her wrists just inside the attic door at the bottom of the steps. Then she'd walk down the hall shaking blood all over the walls and floor, then descend to the first floor flinging her blood everywhere! On the stairs, the walls, the ceilings and the furniture; laughing the entire time until her life giving blood drained and she lost consciousness welcoming eternal oblivion! They would never get her blood off the floor, walls, ceiling and furniture... or their hands! But not yet... not quite yet. Devon began to tease herself by making shallow cuts on the inside of her upper arms and on her inner thighs, just enough to draw blood but not enough to bleed. The pain felt exquisite! It made her feel alive!
<*> <*> <*>
While Earl kept to himself at school, Devon was aware of the other students. She noticed Rick had lost his followers and had been ostracized by everyone. No one wanted to let him join in their play so he forlornly wandered about the playground with his hands jambed in his pockets. She’d heard Jeff talking that everyone had shunned Rick.
The Monday before Thanksgiving Earl approached Rick. Everyone on the playground watched the encounter with baited breath. It was Devon who spoke. “It’s no fun being all alone is it?”
Thinking Earl was there to gloat, Rick’s gut reaction was to lash out. But when he looked at Earl he realized there was no aggression in his face, instead seeing a sort of forlorn kindred soul. “No, it isn’t,” Rick softly answered. “How do you put up with it?”
“I don’t need friends,” Earl snarked. “I study and learn. I also run. It’s good exercise and keeps me agile. Parkour isn’t a sport and it’s not competition, it’s simply pushing your body and learning your limits. It also helps release the tension that builds up inside of you. I think I’d blow apart if I didn’t have parkour to burn off the energy and adrenalin. You should try it. You can follow me, study how I tumble, roll and jump then try it yourself.”
With that Earl began to run. All eyes followed him, especially Rick’s as he thought about what Earl had said. For the first time he really looked at Earl’s athletic parkour run, realizing the little guy was good. When Earl ran past Rick, Rick fell in behind him. Rick quickly realized there was no way he could match Earl’s skill and athleticism without practice. But that didn’t discourage Rick because he knew any physical activity took practice.
After that day, every recess outside saw the two boys, Earl leading the much larger Rick, running around the playground. The duo didn’t talk or otherwise interact. If questioned both said they were NOT friends, that they were merely being alone together. Each insisted they wanted to be alone and running parkour was a solitary pursuit. They simply ran with Rick gradually adding parkour moves. The other kids gave the weirdos a wide berth.
Since Earl wouldn’t talk about school, Jeff was responsible for reporting on Earl’s school’s activities. Needless to say Linda and James were concerned upon learning Rick was following Earl as they ran around the playground. Zach assured them it was okay. “I’ve only seen the dorks talk to each other once. They’re alone together.”
<*> <*> <*>
By the start of the second semester Earl was settled into his self study. The five year old had completed the second grade material and began the third grade lessons. The regular students were wary of Earl. They knew that he’d skipped kindergarten and had completed first and second grade in one semester and was now working on third grade. To them it was obvious he had to be super intelligent and that alone was quite intimidating. Add to that what he’d done to Rick as well as how he spent every recess running around the playground doing parkour with Rick as a tail, they all backed away from him.
Every day Earl heard their whispered comments from the students about the freaky little weirdo. The fact he was breezing through the curriculum earning a 99% average alienated him from the teachers and staff. The kid was downright spooky and the fact he never smiled or laughed scared everyone. The school staff was quite concerned about Earl’s constantly dour outlook on life. The school guidance counselor began to once more meet with Earl twice a week in an exasperating attempt to break through the iron defense the dour boy had erected.
Shortly after the start of the second semester Rick stopped following Earl. The big guy had a black eye and a forlorn almost hopeless look about him. After three days Devon approached him again. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Rick sighed heavily.
“Just tell me, I won’t judge or condemn you,” Devon stated.
Rick was quiet for a few moments, fidgeting under the unwavering gaze of the smaller boy. “My parents are getting a divorce. My dad went to rehab to stop drinking and it worked for a bit. Tuesday night he stopped for a beer after work and came home drunk. Mom tried to throw him out and he started hitting her. I called 911 then tried to stop him. That’s how I got the black eye. Now he’s in jail and it’s all my fault.”
“It’s not your fault, it’s your dad’s,” Devon stated simply. “Did you twist his arm to make him drink? No, he did it on his own. Not your fault. Now let’s go.” Earl took off running.
After two laps Rick reluctantly joined in but the big guy’s spirit seemed to be even more broken.
It was raining the next day so recess was held indoors in the cafeteria/gym. Knowing it was too crowded to run indoors with all the other kids around, Earl brought his notebook and headed for Rick. Soon the duo was ensconced at a table. Earl brought up a YouTube video he’d saved to share it with Rick.
“I find songs that speak to me,” Devon explained. “This one really eats into my soul and I think it will help you, too.” Earl plugged in a set of headphones and played the Disturbed video of “Inside the Fire”. They repeated the video until the end of recess. The driving beat and lyrics spoke to Rick, too. It fired his darkening soul.
The next day as they were running around the playground, Rick was softly singing the song to himself as they ran.
<*> <*> <*>
Rick’s dad was out of the house with a court order not to harass them. He received a six month suspended sentence, had to attend anger management classes, and avoid using alcohol. Any parole violations and he’d be sent to jail.
Earl and Rick developed a bizarre relationship. They seldom spoke but spent every recess together. Without the distraction of friends and sports, both earned straight ‘A’s. Devon never revealed her existence to Rick for fear she’d be once more rejected. She was mature enough to know the crush she had for Rick was childish and impossible.
By the end of the school year Devon completed the fourth grade earning across the board ‘A’s.
Six year old Earl would be moving to the middle school to begin fifth grade with his oldest brother, Jeff, and also with Rick. The elementary school was relieved to have Earl and Rick out of their hair.
Chapter 3: The Sound of Silence
The summer had been horrible for Rick. He was even more depressed and frustrated than ever. His mother was a nurse, and earned decent money but his father’s falling off the wagon had put a massive strain on the mother-son relationship. Karen was totally pissed off at Frank and that disgust overflowed to Rick. She shut down every and any habits and actions that would be considered masculine. When she discovered evidence of his male puberty maturation she went nuts. The next day, a month before the end of the school year, she gave him an injection, followed by another every week.
Rick felt as if he were walking on eggshells all the time and made sure not to do anything to antagonize her burgeoning misandry but never succeeded. Finally he worked up the nerve to ask, “Mom, what are these injections?”
Karen glared at him clearly deliberating about what to say. “It’s a drug called Androcur. It shuts down testosterone production and stops male puberty. By the end of July your precious manhood will be only be useable as a tube to urinate. I’m making sure you don’t grow up to be a redneck bastard like your useless father! And if you don’t straighten out, I’ll start giving you injections of estrogen so you’ll start a girl’s puberty!”
Rick was horrified! His mom was clearly crazy! Yet he had no choice but to try to appease her. While he most certainly didn’t want to grow up to be like his dad, he did want to be a man. But now? His world and sanity crumbled even further. Disturbed’s video of "Inside the Fire” became his mantra as he began seriously thinking of taking his life.
Rick knew his dad would be no help. His father now lived in a rundown mobile home, in a cheap trailer park, steadily descending into being a prime example of trailer park trash. Even worse was that every other weekend, Rick had to visit. That Rick wanted nothing to do with sports ate at the man. Instead he took Rick to the gun range. Rick enjoyed the target shooting and became quite proficient with a 9mm Ruger and an AR15. Yet each night the man in his life drank himself to sleep, constantly bitching about his soon to be ex and his disappointing worthless son.
In mid-July Karen added a second injection, estrogen, to the weekly Androcur injection. Rick broke down in tears. “Why Mom, why? You know I don’t want to grow up to be anything like dad! I’ve been doing my best to behave the way you want me to.”
“I know you’re doing your best to not be like your father,” Karen answered gently to sooth her child. “Unfortunately your best is not enough. That’s why I began giving you the Androcur. You do have to admit your masculine actions and crude behavior has decreased since I’ve been giving you the Androcur. The improvement you’ve made in curbing your boyish behavior thanks to the androcur is impressive, but it’s not enough. I think you’ve gone as far as you can under that regimen. The estrogen will enable you to shed the last of your horrid toxic masculinity.”
Rick realized if he protested that, unlike his dad, he wanted to be a good man, his mom would point to that as an example of his still lingering toxic masculinity. “But won’t that start turning me into a girl?”
“Not right away,” Karen responded. “It’ll effect the way you think before it starts seriously changing your body. I promise I’ll stop the estrogen injections when your toxic masculinity has been vanquished.”
Rick knew he was lost. She would continue giving him the estrogen until it turned him into a girl. Even worse was that if he told his dad what his mom was doing, it would send him over the edge and he’d probably kill him and his mom. If he went to the police, they’d arrest his mom and he’d be forced to live with his dad. He barely managed to survive his twice monthly weekends. The best he could hope for was going into foster care which was something he wanted to avoid. It was truly tragic that his best option was to put up with the injections and hope for the best.
<*> <*> <*>
Devon always did her chores without being told and pitched in on other tasks if asked. The always intense dour ‘lad’ voluntarily took over more of ‘his’ personal upkeep over the summer. He asked his mother to show him how to do his own laundry. Linda was quite surprised by his solemn request but eagerly taught him. Then she inadvertently added to his family disassociation by pointing out Earl’s willingness to take over the task which upset his brothers as they were then expected to do their laundry. Devon also asked if she could learn to prepare meals. By summer’s end she could prepare modest but tasty and nourishing meals, again to the dismay of her brothers. Twice a week she prepared a meal for the family. Frank didn’t like the fact Earl was asking to learn these tasks as he thought they were women’s work. Linda very quickly disabused him of that notion.
When indoors Devon spent the vast majority of her time in her bedroom eyrie only emerging to go outside to run or to perform a specific household task. During meals Earl sat down to eat with the family but it was extremely rare when he interacted with the family. The normal family conversations at the supper table were accomplished with his glum presence but not his participation. If someone spoke to him he would respond but seldom added to the conversation. When the older brothers had friends over, Devon always avoided them. It was quite a rarity if he joined in their play and even then they had to practically beg him. Earl was with the family but no longer an integrated part of the family. However since Earl’s persona was an utter falsehood such a weak relationship seemed appropriate. Earl would never be a real part of the family, only Devon could accomplish that.
The middle school was not thrilled to have Earl. They knew having a six year old in the fifth grade would be a major headache. After much discussion between the head teacher of each grade, the librarian, guidance councilor, assistant principal and principal agreed that Earl could work at his own pace in the middle school library covering the syllabi for each grade at his own speed much as he had done the previous year. A single desk was set up for him in the reference section of the library. By this time Earl's hair was six inches long and he wore it pulled back into a low ponytail.
<*> <*> <*>
By the time school started the estrogen was effecting Rick's body. His nipples enlarged and were super sensitive. He had to wear an oversize shirt to disguise the all to girlish development. If anyone discovered his chest nubbins, he’d be teased and harassed to no end. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd be hassled for being two years behind as well as being ostracized for being injured by Earl. As he walked into school that first day he feared he was heading into hell.
Any lingering hopes Rick had for avoiding being ostracized in middle school crashed on the first day. The incoming fifth graders from the elementary school he’d left informed their classmates that Rick was a pariah. His age-mates, those he started with in kindergarten, were in the seventh grade. The sixth and seventh graders from his elementary school also spread the word about the kid who’d flunked two years. The whispering and finger pointing was followed by pointed insults and snarky comments. Rick knew if he in any way reacted to the verbal onslaught, he’d most likely get in trouble with the school. If that happened his mom would go nuts about his toxic masculinity. She’d probably pull him from the school and enroll him in a private girl’s school. However much he attempted to form a thick skin it was not impervious and the bullying steadily ate it’s way into his battered soul.
The first day during lunch the middle school students wondered what the scrawny little kid was doing in cafeteria. Earl could barely see the selections available as he went through the cafeteria line. Word quickly spread from the fifth grade class that the weird kid was a genius who skipped kindergarten then completed the courses for grades one through four with straight ‘A’s in one year. With Jeff identified as his brother, the news Earl was doing self study in the library spread.
When Earl exited the cafeteria line with his tray he looked about for a safe place to sit. He spotted Rick sitting by himself over in the loser’s corner. That’s where he headed, sliding his tray on the table across from Rick. “Looks like no one likes you,” Devon stated as she sat.
“No one likes you either,” Rick replied. “I guess we can be alone together.”
Devon just nodded.
The first phys-ed class for the fifth grade was a get acquainted and lockerroom rules session. Rick and Earl and both stuck out from the rest of the class. Rick towered over them while they towered over Earl. The coach was wondering how he could handle the duo when during the Q&A Earl raised his hand. “Yes, Earl?”
“I don’t do sports,” Earl stated firmly while glaring at the coach.
While the coach would normally chew up and spit out any student who said something like that, he realized Earl meant exactly what he said. He also realized the other students were intently watching. “Earl, if you don’t play sports, what would you do?”
“Parkour, I’ll run and do parkour,” Earl answered with such conviction the coach was taken back. “I’ll do parkour for the entire class period, non-stop and at speed.”
The fifth graders from the elementary school began chuckling.
“What’s so funny,” the coach asked them.
The boys looked sheepish and all turned to Jeff.
Jeff sighed. “Earl is my little brother, sir. You don’t want him playing sports. I know he doesn’t look it, but he gets like the Tasmanian Devil when he’s forced to play sports. He goes all out, doesn’t care if he gets hurt and doesn’t care if he hurts someone else. The more he gets hurt, the tougher he becomes. If he gets a bloody nose he laps up the blood and goes berserk. Last year during every recess he just ran nonstop and at top speed around the playground doing parkour.”
The coach was more than a little skeptical but saw the head bobbing of the boys who’d chuckled. “Sports is designed to teach you how to control yourself.”
“Earl is far from normal, sir,” Jeff replied. “He’s angry all the time. It’s been almost three years since he’s smiled or laughed. Believe me, you don’t want to set him off. Just ask Rick.”
The boys who chuckled earlier chuckled again and looked toward Rick.
The coach realized something big had to have happened. “Rick, would care to enlighten me?”
“No sir,” Rick sadly declared. “But I’ll tell you anyway. Each recess Earl would do his parkour. Since I had to repeat second and third grades I was older and bigger than the rest of the fourth graders. I stupidly used my size and strength to bully others. Everyone did what I wanted so I didn’t bully them, but Earl avoided me. I figured I had to teach him his place so I got a bunch of other boys to form a line to funnel Earl past me. Just before he reached me I stepped in front him and braced myself. The next thing I knew the principal and nurse were kneeling beside me.”
The coach frowned. “Earl, what did you do to him?”
“I ran over him,” Earl answered. “He stepped in front of me so quick I couldn’t stop or avoid him so I did a parkour run right up him and did a back flip to my feet and kept running.”
“All I know is I ended up in the hospital overnight with a concussion, two black eyes, a broken nose and a very sore groin,” Rick stated as several boys chuckled and all looked at Earl.
The coach looked at Earl with new eyes. “So you’re good at parkour?”
“I’m okay,” Earl shrugged. “I guess you need to see to believe.” Earl took off like a scalded cat, straight across the gym to the block wall where he ran ten feet up the wall doing a back flip with 180° twist to land on his feet facing away from the wall, sprinted across the gym to the opposite block wall where he ran ten feet up doing another back flip and 180° twist then ran back to where he started.
The kids who didn’t know Earl stood there with mouths agape as did the coach. “Okay”, the coach said. “Do you take lessons?”
“No sir,” Earl said. “I saw parkour videos on YouTube and tried it.”
“Well I must admit that was impressive,” the coach said then looked to Jeff. “Can you do that?”
“No sir,” Jeff declared. “But Rick can.”
All eyes turned to Rick who blushed. Looking to Earl he saw the small boy give a quick nod. Rick took off and repeated Earl’s moves. They weren’t quite as smooth but were very functional. The class looked at Rick with wonder. “Like Earl, I don’t do sports either,” Rick vehemently declared.
The coach just sighed. It was going to be a long year.
The class time was ending so the coach reminded the class to get their gym kits together for the next class. He told Earl and Rick he’d need to do some research as far as excusing him from sports.
The coach checked Earl and Rick’s school records. Earl was a genius and Rick had indeed failed two years, but earned ‘A’s the second time through and last year had been straight ‘A's. His family life was horrendous. Then he spoke with the guidance councilor and assistant principal. They all agreed Earl and Rick were special needs children and that having either boy play sports with the other kids was a bad idea. They decided that for non-sports phys-ed activities the duo would join their classmates, but during sports they could run parkour.
Over the next few weeks things settled into a routine. Earl did his studying in the Library, only coming out for lunch and phys-ed. Rick moved from class to class with his classmates. In every class the kids shunned him. During phys-ed they were shunned, teaming up Mutt and Jeff style. Almost every day Rick had his books knocked from his hands and kicked down the halls during class changes. Both were subject to a lot of hateful verbal sniping. The worst comments were that Earl, with his long hair, was Rick's ‘girlfriend'. While both boys took strength from the other, the abuse was steadily grinding them down.
Despite the duo being alone together, they seldom spoke, at most three to four words in a week. At lunch they sat opposite each other at the same table, isolated outcasts. Earl brought his notebook and Rick his smart phone. They brought a splitter so they could each plug their headphones into the same device. They shared YouTube videos they found that spoke to them and fit their moods. One video in particular brought them to silent tears. It spoke of their frustration and anguish about becoming the person they felt themselves to be in their heart and soul, no one listened to them.
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain,
Still remains, Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night, And touched the sound of silence
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared, disturb the sound of silence
"Fools," said I, "You do not know
Silence, like a cancer, grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells, of silence
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets
are written on the subway walls, and tenement halls"
And whispered in the sound of silence
Each day they silently communed watching and re-watching the video. They sensed that although their circumstances differed, they were both having gender identity issues. They silently commiserated in their joint wretchedness.
The school staff kept a close eye on the two boys. They noted they rarely spoke yet seemed drawn together in their morose agony. Neither even bothered to attempt to make friends, even with each other. They remained silent unless someone spoke to them first. They did their assignments and both were earning straight ‘A’s. At the same time it was plain to see both were profoundly sad. The guidance councilor had them in for weekly sessions but she made no headway in discovering the source of their gloominess.
As soon as she arrived home from school Devon put her things in her attic bedroom then headed into the back yard, rain or shine, spending an hour doing parkour. When she came inside she showered then, unless she had a task to perform, went to her attic bedroom to read or ply the internet. Jeff and Zach would come to him for help if they became stuck on an assignment and he'd help them but they otherwise ignored Earl just as he did them.
<*> <*> <*>
Rick’s home life continued to deteriorate. At the end of September Karen replaced his underwear with the female versions as well as his pajamas. Rick broke down in tears as he donned the silky panties and camisoles when his normal jockey and T-shirts disappeared from his drawers. Much to his chagrin and confusion he had to admit the sleek nylon undies were comfortable and felt nice. It was even more disheartening to realize the camisoles helped relieve the itching from his gently budding breasts. It was even more disheartening when Karen gave him a tube of estrogen creme to massage into his budding breasts to relieve the itch and tenderness.
The forlorn lad knew better than to protest about the changes. He made sure the clothes he wore hid the delicate lace trim on the panties and camisoles ans well as the gentle swelling on his chest. His main concern was in phys-ed. Fortunately he and Earl were the only one’s assigned to the locker block to change into and out of their gym gear. Both lads studiously avoided looking at the other so Rick felt at least a little safe from discovery.
By the end of October Rick’s pert budding breasts were tenting the front of his despised camisoles. He started wearing two camisoles to help compress and conceal his unwanted and detested feminine charms. He also wore a sweater to add another layer of concealment. When he appealed to his mother she insisted she see what he wished to hide.
“Well, you are coming along nicely,” Karen happily complimented him. “I’ll have to take you to be fitted for training bras!”
“But mom, I can’t wear bras,” Rick declared as he fought back tears. Seeing her face cloud he quickly added, “At least to school. They’ll ask questions and I’ll be harassed to no end!”
“Well, you do have a point,” Karen sighed. “Well, for now you will just wear your bras when you’re not at school.”
Then she eyed him up and down for a few moments. Rick felt his skin crawl.
“Since your hair is down to your shoulders it’s long enough to take a short feminine cut,” Karen finally said. Next weekend we’ll go to a salon to trim your hair into a feminine unisex style, thin your eyebrows and pierce your ears. We’ll shop for skirts, dresses and shoes you can wear about the house to get you accustomed to wearing them. I’ll start looking into enrolling you at Saint Margaret’s Parochial School after the Christmas break. You’ll look so cute in their pleated skirts!”
Rick shivered and tears rolled down his cheeks. “But we can’t do that,” Rick exclaimed in horror. I’ll look stupid in a girl’s uniform... everyone will know I’m a boy! Besides, what about dad? He’ll flip out if he sees me like that!”
“Let me worry about your dad,” Karen declared with malicious intent. “The estrogen has already softened you and is replacing those hard boyish edges with feminine curves. Once I get you into dresses after school, you’ll learn how to handle skirts. By Christmas you should be able to easily make the transition into girlhood. And don’t you DARE say you don’t want to be a pretty girl! Once you start living as a girl you’ll quickly learn to love being sweet and girlish.”
Karen softly muttered to herself as she turned away. “I’d better make arrangements to have him castrated. If we do it right after school on the day before Thanksgiving he’ll be healed enough to return to school after the holiday. I’d better get an excuse for phys-ed too.”
Rick was horrified upon hearing her whispered words that were most certainly not intended for his ears. Quickly he fled to his room where he simply broke down in tears. His worst nightmares were about to come true and he was helpless to prevent her from doing to him what she wanted. Needless to say Rick was down in the utter depths of depression and hopelessness. The forlorn soon to be girl took what solace he could watching and re-watching Disturb’s version of ‘The Sound of Silence’ video.
That weekend Rick spent with his father. The forlorn lad didn’t think his life could get worse, but he was wrong. Frank had been fired from his job for being drunk on the job. When he picked Rick up Friday after school he was already three sheets to the wind. The cursing and insults began even before he was seated in the truck. They stopped to pick up several cases of beer on the way to the trailer. Once they were inside the trailer Frank really tore into Rick for turning out to be such a freaking wuss. Slurred words quickly escalated into blows.
Rick managed to flee to his room but by then he was bloodied and bruised. Frank was too drunk to pursue but continued his profane diatribe until he passed out. The hopelessness and frustration of what his mother was doing to him combined with the physical and verbal abuse from his dad crushed his soul. Rick cleaned himself, then cried himself to sleep.
Awakening in the morning, stiff from the bruises, Rick used the filthy urine splattered bathroom. As he exited into the narrow hall he saw his dad stagger to the kitchen, pull a can of beer out of the refrigerator, snap the top and take a long guzzle. Instantly he knew it was going to be a rough day.
“What the hell are you looking at you worthless piece of shit,” Frank roared.
“Nothing,” Rick answered as he ducked into his room.
Seconds later the door was kicked in as Frank angrily grabbed Rick by the throat and dragged him from the room, then lifted him off the floor by the shirt before slamming him from wall to wall while cursing up a storm. Rick’s head was ringing and his vision blurred when he felt himself being flung down the hall to slam through the closed door of his father’s bedroom splintering the door jamb in the process. Rick landed on his ass just inside the master bedroom as he tried to clear his much rattled head.
Frank cursed even more. “You are the most worthless excuse for manhood I’ve ever seen,” Frank bellowed. “The best part of you had to have trickled down your witchy mother’s legs! I’m ashamed to even accept that you came from my loins! Yeah, that’s probably it! Your worthless ass isn’t from my loins! No son of mine could be so damn unworthy.” With that he began stalking towards Rick with malicious intent in his bloodshot eyes.
Rick scrambled to his feet and scurried around the bed. As he looked about in near panic for an escape, he saw the 9mm Ruger on the night stand. A spark of hope flared. Without hesitation he grabbed the gun and flipped the safety off then pointed it at his dad.
“You slimy son-of-a-bitch,” Frank bellowed as he saw the shaking pistol in Rick’s hands pointed at him. “You don’t have the fucking guts to use that thing! Now I’m really going to fix your pansy ass!” With that he stalked around the bed towards the clearly terrified Rick.
The utter hatred in Frank’s eyes chilled Rick to his very core. He wasn’t even aware of pulling the trigger. The first shot slammed into Franks shoulder. A large red spot began to grow from the hole in his dirty T-shirt but it barely slowed the big man down. The pounding of Rick’s blood in his ears muffled the loud retort. Rick continued pulling the trigger as fast as he could. A few missed but most slammed home in Frank’s torso, growing red circles appearing almost as if by magic. It was only when the pistol was empty that Rick’s blinding terror began to ebb.
Frank didn’t even realize he was dead as his body staggered under the multiple impacts. As he slowly crumbled to the floor his look of murderous anger morphed to one of surprise as he realized he was dead and that the damn sissy had killed him! Once on the floor his body twitched a few times then lay still. Blood flowed freely through the newly installed drain holes in Frank’s body, staining the already filth carpet.
Rick stood there staring in utter shock at the spreading blood, peripherally noting the smoking barrel of the empty pistol. After a few moments he returned to reality. His body shivered as he realized what he’d done. Killing his dad was utterly horrific, yet at the same time bizarrely liberating. Sitting on the bed he numbly released the empty magazine and inserted the spare still on the night stand. Taking the empty magazine he rolled across the bed to the opposite side. Going to the closet he pulled out the ammo box and reloaded the magazine. Then he headed into the kitchen to get something to eat.
Eating stale Wheaties with water was not satisfying but that was all to be had. The refrigerator was stuffed full of beer. Looking from the table down the hall he could see his dad’s feet. For nearly an hour he just sat there as his thoughts and emotions ran roughshod. Disturb’s ‘The Sound of Silence’ kept playing through his nearly shattered mind. Then a bizarre calm settled on him. Killing his dad made him a murderer but rid him of one of the banes of his life. Why couldn’t he do the same with his horrid mother? Then he’d kill himself! Of course he’d have to write out a confession listing all his reasons for the heinous acts. Then a wicked smile came to his face. Once he killed his mom, he could go to school and kill those who were tormenting him! Instead of killing himself he would let the cops do it! Rick didn’t realize he’d stepped across the boundary of sanity. The plan sounde quite logical to his befuddled mind.
Going back to the master bedroom he pulled the weapons and ammo his dad had stored in the closet. There was a second 9mm Ruger pistol with five extra magazines and five boxes of ammo; a pump shotgun with three boxes of ammo; and the AR15 with four magazines and five boxes of ammo. The shotgun was too big to carry and conceal. The AR15 had a collapsible stock which would fit into his gym bag.
Dumping the contents of his weekend carry bag he laid the AR15 in the bottom. He slipped the magazines inside a T-shirt, folded it up and placed that on top. Then he did the same with the 9mm Rugers and magazines. He added a box of 9mm ammo to reload the magazine after he killed his mother. Then he packed what clothes he could fit inside to camouflage and muffle the weapons.
Then he turned on lights and the TV like his dad often did. The neighbors weren’t nosey and were used to the oft drunk man passing out in the living room with the lights and TV on all night. Next he sat and wrote out a full confession of his actions and the details of his unbearable situation. As he wrote he decided to not kill his mom but to let her horrible devious actions to transform him into a girl be known so she would be blamed for his actions and go to jail. The note explained how she was abusing him intending to turn him into a girl would result in an autopsy and she'd be arrested for child abuse! Then she'd have to live the rest of her life knowing that SHE had killed him. After taking what little cash he could find he called an Uber to take him home, walking down to the main road to wait for the ride by the mailboxes
Rick shivered as he rode home cradling the bag on his lap. Once home he paid the driver then headed into the empty house. Karen worked on the Saturdays he was at his dad’s so she wouldn’t know he was home. The emotions that roiled his psyche exhausted him so he laid down for a nap.
By the time he awoke his mother was home. He thought about going down and just shooting her but the edge of his insanity had eroded. After a bit of quiet thinking he hid his overnight bag. He’d still go to school and shoot the place up but that meant cooperating with his witchy mother for the rest of the weekend.
When Earl appeared downstairs he surprised her, quickly apologizing. Then he explained his dad had been drunk and beat him up for being a wuss. The bruising was plain to see and Karen wanted to call the cops on Frank. Karen wasn’t even aware her timid changeling was playing her
“Mom, please just let it go”, Rick asked her. “If you press charges that would mean I’d need a physical to prove Dad abused me. The doctors would see the changes to my body. You know he’ll plead not guilty to the charges which would mean a trial, which would take months. By then I’ll be too girly to show up as Rick which would expose what you’ve done to me.”
Karen realized Rick was right but she wondered what kind of game he was playing. Or maybe Frank was playing the games trying to set her up. “You make valid points. I’d like to know why are you suddenly so in favor of becoming a girl?”
“I’m not in favor of becoming a girl,” Rick answered guiltily. “It's just my best option. If the authorities find out what you're doing to me you'd go to jail. That means I’d default to dad’s care. There is no way I want to live with him. He’s just a self centered redneck jerk. If the courts decide he’s unfit to care for me, I’ll wind up in foster care. I don’t like any of the options, but becoming a girl and staying with you is the lessor of evils.”
Karen was not happy that Rick thought his becoming a girl was the lessor of three evils but realized he was simply being honest with his feelings. The best part was that he saw being feminized as the best option which meant she was winning the battle. She decided not to report Frank’s abuse of Rick because as Rick pointed out, it could reveal what she was doing to him. She also decided not to call Frank in case this was a set up. Besides, with Rick home she could take him shopping for his girl clothes tomorrow!
Sunday Rick reluctantly accompanied his mother as they headed out of town to shop. She had brushed his hair creating a center part and pulling each side into a short perky ponytail which left him looking decidedly feminine. His insides quivered as she sat in the SUV while they drove 30 miles to a shopping center outside their area. He forced himself to calm down.
The first stop was a hair salon where his hair was trimmed in a unisex style with bangs across his forehead with the sides and back evenly trimmed to gently brush his shoulders. It took everything he had to keep from crying at how girlish the bangs and the bit of trimming made his appearance. While he was trying to assimilate that change he found himself in a chair having his ears pierced with gold studs. Then came being fitted for his training bra. The clerk was quite efficient and accustomed to dealing with tomboys. Rikki, as his mom used his new name, sank into a mind numbing fugue as he tried on skirts, blouses, dresses and shoes. Thankfully the only thing she made him wear out of the stores was one of his new training bras. Much to his embarrassment, he realized the training bra did intend eliminate much of the discomfort of his budding breasts.
Karen knew Rick was not a happy camper but he meekly allowed himself to be feminized. She knew she’d have to be firm over the next few weeks to insure his cooperation in his feminine transformation.
Rick cried himself to sleep wearing his new lacy babydoll nightie.
Monday, Rick brought his weapons cache to school in his gym bag, stuffing it in his locker. His unisex hairstyle drew a lot of nasty comments and accusations of being a faggot. While going from class to class the eighth grade boys went out of their way to body check him into the locker lined walls or to knock his books from his hands laughing and insulting him as he scurried to gather the books. As usual the teachers and hall monitors ignored the bullying.
By lunch Rick was ready to annihilate the entire school. Instead of getting into the lunch line he returned to his locker placing his books inside while taking out the gym bag. Then he dialed the local TV station.
“I’d like to report a shooting at Wilson Woodrow Middle School,” he declared as he walked down the empty halls. “I’m streaming video so you can put it on the news. Enjoy the show.”
With the camera panning the lunchroom he headed inside.
As Devon went through the lunch line, she looked for Rick. Several guys tried to trip her or give her a flat tire** but thanks to her parkour she was able to remain on her feet without spilling anything. Sitting at the table by herself she began to eat while wondering if Rick was ill. The duo seldom spoke. Most of their interaction consisted of doing parkour in phys-ed and sharing YouTube videos during lunch. They were bullied every day which the staff totally ignored. Each was a loner, but they were alone together.
Devon felt a bit better when she saw Rick enter the lunchroom carrying his gym bag. She had no idea why he’d be bringing the gym bag unless it contained his lunch.
Rick sat at the table placing his bag on the table between himself and Earl. Then he opened the bag and pulled his confession out and handed the 8.5x11 pages folded into thirds to Earl. “Hang onto this, you’ll need it later.”
Earl didn’t question Rick, he just took the papers, folded them in half, and placed them in his pants pocket.
“I’m doing a live stream,” Rick stated as he passed his cell phone to Earl. “Please video what’s happening.”
Devon did as Rick indicated despite being a bit confused until she saw Rick pull two 9mm pistols from the bag and slip them in his waistband, however she remained silent. Sliding to the end of the table Devon did a sweep of the crowded lunchroom, then focused on Rick as he pulled out the extra magazines for the 9mmm and the AR15 placing them on the table so the bag would hide them. Then he folded the top of the bag open to reveal the AR15. Devon just watched the action in the cell screen understanding Rick had been bullied beyond his breaking point and there was nothing she could do but film the horror that was about to be released.
Rick drew in a deep breath and looked at Earl who responded with a nod. Rick picked up the rifle and stood up on the table’s attached bench, racking a round into the chamber as he did so with an ominous audible CLICK.
Rick’s action drew the attention of many in the lunchroom. Earl almost smiled as he watched their faces blanch. Flipping off the safety Rick fired a round high into the wall on the other side of the large room. Instantly every eye was on Rick as several people started to scream.
“ANYONE WHO MOVES IS DEAD,” Rick bellowed as he traversed the rifle across the crowded room. “I’VE HAD IT WITH THE BULLYING IN THIS HELL HOLE! THE TEACHERS AND STAFF DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT US LOSERS AND LET THE JOCKS GET AWAY WITH MURDER. NOW IT’S MY TURN TO DEAL THE MURDER! I WANT EVERYONE WHO HAS BULLIED ME AND EARL TO STEP INTO THE MAIN AISLE. I’LL SHOT ANYONE WHO DOESN’T COME FORWARD. NOW MOVE!”
The students and teachers monitoring the room looked on in horror. Most were stunned, quite a few were crying, a few hysterically. All were stunned.
“Rick, don’t do this,” Vice-Principal Reynolds said as he tried to gain control.
Rick swung the rifle and fired a round that whizzed through the air just above the man’s head. “YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN AND THE NEXT ROUND WILL BE RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR DAMN EYES! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN STOPPING THE BULLIES! INSTEAD YOU PAL AROUND WITH THEM LETTING THEM TORMENT THE REST OF US! IT ENDS TODAY! THIS SCHOOL’S ANTI-BULLYING STANDARDS WILL BE ENFORCED! NOW YOU ASSHOLE JOCKS BETTER LINE UP IN THE MAIN AISLE.”
Just then Rick caught sight of the school’s resource officer peering through the glass window of one of the entrance doors. With a swift move he fired a shot through the window about a foot above the officer’s head. The glass splintered but stayed together since it was safety glass. The man ducked away.
The boys who had been bullying Rick and Earl reluctantly formed a line in the main aisle as the alarm bell activated announcing an intruder alert locking down the school. Several students wanted to flee but Rick had the exits covered.
Rick fired another shot. “I SAID EVERYONE WHO BULLIED EARL AND ME WAS TO GET IN THE LINE! IF YOU’RE NOT THERE IN FIVE SECONDS I’LL GUN YOU DOWN WHERE YOU ARE PROBABLY TAKING THOSE AROUND YOU DOWN TOO. THAT INCLUDES YOU MR. REYNOLDS. YOU’RE THE BIGGEST BULLY IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL! NOW MOVE!”
Those who tried to hide amongst the mass of students were quickly shoved forward by those around them. Many students had pulled out their cell phones and sent messages for help as well as to film the incident. Most of the bullies were trembling as they formed a line. A few were crying and three had wet themselves.
“TURN AROUND AND FACE THE STUDENTS SO THEY CAN SEE WHO’S CRYING AND WHO PISSED THEMSELVES,” Rick ordered.
The terrified bullies did as ordered. The students looked at the sad state of the bullies.
“TURN AROUND AND FACE ME,” Rick ordered after fifteen seconds. “NOW I WANT YOU TO STRIP NAKED. YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE BEFORE I SHOOT ANYONE WHO ISN’T NAKED. MR. REYNOLDS, I’LL GIVE YOU AND EXTRA FIFTEEN SECONDS.”
The terrified boys and vice principal promptly kicked off the their shoes and began shucking their clothes. They were all naked before the time limit expired. They were red faced with fear and embarrassment, none more so than the arrogant Mr. Reynolds.
“NOW PUT YOUR HANDS ON TOP OF YOUR HEADS AND KEEP THEM THERE! I’LL SHOOT ANYONE WHO LOWERS THEIR HANDS,” Rick ordered. “NOW I WANT YOU TO WALK BETWEEN THE ROWS OF TABLES SO EVERYONE CAN SEE JUST HOW BIG, STRONG AND MACHO YOU REALLY ARE! MOVE!”
Reluctantly the thirty boys and vice principal began their march of shame between the tables while their fellow students watched in horror and awe. Nearly all were glad the bullies were getting their just deserts.
The reporter at the TV station had presumed the phone call was a prank and waved over the news director. The director arrived just as the Earl took over the cell camera to show the two 9mm pistols being shoved into Rick’s waistband. The horrified reporter quickly told the news director what was going on. Withing a minute they cut into the station’s programming for a live emergency news special report with the video going out on the air waves. The station made calls to the police and school as they scrambled all available reporters and news vans to the school.
As soon as the school went on lock down the police scrambled their swat team and all available officer to the school. The fire trucks and ambulances did likewise. The phone lines and cell phone towers lit up with activity as news of a live shooter at the school spread.
When the parade of shame completed their trek Rick had them sit naked on the floor in the main aisle. He also had the other students sit down. The hysterical crying and screaming had subsided but there were still plenty of tears. “IF YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, I HAVE NOT SHOT ANYONE... YET! HOWEVER, I AM PREPARED TO WIPE OUT EVERYONE. NOW I’M GOING TO TELL YOU WHY I’M DOING THIS...”
**(someone stepping on the back of your footwear pulling the back of the shoe off your foot.)
Rick spoke in a clear slightly voice as he launched into telling them how and why he’d flunked second and third grades. How his failed jock father tried to use him as a surrogate but was too ignorant to realize all he’d succeeded in doing was to age Rick out of sports eligibility for his junior and senior years short circuiting any hopes for college. The he told of the drunken beatings and horrific verbal abuse from his dad while admitting he’d become a bully in elementary school.
Then Rick told how Earl had ended his reign of terror by putting him in the hospital, how his mother royally reamed him out for being a bully, how his dad came to the hospital drunk to chew him out for letting a kid one quarter his size take him out without being hurt, how his mother ordered his dad out and to clear out of the house, his dad's collision with a police cruiser resulting in his hospitalization, and the decision to hold off divorce while his dad went to rehab. Rick admitted he hated his dad at that point and wanted nothing to do with him.
Linda went into panic mode when she heard about the shooting at the middle school. She had two children there! She jumped into her car winding up in the traffic jam of parents, emergency vehicles and news media leeches. She spoke briefly to James apprising him where she was stuck.
"Pull over and stop," James told her. "Go to the TV station's website. They're showing a live feed from inside the school... the shooter is Rick, the boy Earl decked last year and who's Earl's phys-ed partner and lunch companion... I'm willing to bet Earl is the one filming because there is no one at the table where Rick is holding forth and the cameraman is at the table."
"Oh God," Linda gasped as she pulled up the feed to see Rick waving the AR15 as tears rolled down his face.
“Everyone shunned me when I returned to school,” Rick stated. “Everyone, that is, but Earl. Earl commiserated with my sadness and encouraged me to take up parkour. Earl said it was the only thing that got him through being alone in school. It’s what got me through the rest of the school year. We were alone together.”
“Then my dad fell of the wagon,” Rick continued. “Mom threw him out of the house and started divorce proceedings. Because of the crap my dad did, my mom developed a hatred for all things male. She told me she loved me but hated everything about me that was masculine,” Rick sniffled as he kept the rifle aimed above the captives. “Then last spring she began giving me weekly injections of Androcur. Androcur is a chemical that shuts down the production of testosterone. She said she was shutting down my male puberty making sure I wouldn’t grow up to be a man. Then in July she added a second weekly injection, estrogen, so I’d restart puberty, but it would be a girl’s puberty.”
While still afraid, everyone listening to Rick’s tale of woe was horrified about what his mother was doing to him. Those listening to the news broadcasts were equally horrified. Karen was busy at work not even aware what was going on but some of her coworkers did know. They contacted the police and told them the monster mother was at their workplace and could they come arrest her ASAP.
“My male bits have shriveled and shrunk,” Rick sobbed. “I’m starting to develop breasts! Then at the end of September she threw all my underwear and PJs away giving me panties, camisoles and nightgowns to wear. Last week she said we needed to go shopping for training bras. Later I heard her mumbling about castrating me over Thanksgiving!”
The males listening live winced awhile the females shuddered. The police dispatched a car to arrest Karen.
“Friday night my dad picked me up for my weekend with him,” Rick continued as the emotions visibly ripped him apart. “He was drunk. As soon as he saw me he began ranting and raving about how I was becoming more of a sissy every time he saw me and how he was ashamed to be my father. When we got to his trailer he got another beer and continued yelling, finally losing it and beating me. I managed to escape to my room and he kept ranting until he passed out. I’m not ashamed to admit I cried myself to sleep. I knew if I told him what mom was doing to me he’d either kill me or beat me silly. Then he’d go kill her, which if I was still alive, would put me in foster care which I didn’t want. If I told anyone here about what was going on, my mom would be arrested and I’d have to live full time with my dad which would be worse than being in foster care. I really had no choice but to stay with my mom.”
Rick’s tale of woe was making many of the listeners cry. All felt sorry for him. But at this point he was a loose cannon clearly teetering on the edge of insanity that had to be stopped. Police from neighboring municipalities rushed to assist with traffic control as parents rushed to the school to pick-up their kids virtually grid-locking the ten blocks around the school.
“Saturday morning I left my room to sneak to the bathroom. My dad was at the refrigerator opening a beer. He took a big swig then saw me and began screaming at me. I went back to my room but he kicked open the door and grabbed me by the throat. I was slammed into the walls and beaten. He literally threw me through his bedroom door. He followed swearing and cursing saying he was going to beat the sissy out of me. As I backed away I saw his 9mm pistol on the night stand so I grabbed it. He laughed at me saying I was too much of a wuss to shoot him. When he charged me I fired... and fired... and fired....” As rick confessed shooting his father his showed total helplessness.
By this time Rick was trembling. The rifle was shaking in his hands. Everyone was horrified. The police dispatched another car to the trailer park to check on his dad.
“So now I’m a former boy in the middle of a girl’s puberty as well as a murderer,” Rick declared. “I gathered dad’s weapons and took an Uber home intending to kill my mom and then come to school to kill those who tormented Earl and me. Mom wasn’t home and I was exhausted so I took a nap. After the nap I decided not to kill mom but to come here and make you pay. I figured when they find out what she did to me she’d wind up in jail knowing she was responsible for what I’m doing here.”
“I told her I left dad after he beat me and came home. Do you know what she did? Sunday she took me to Coventry Mall where she had my hair cut in this UNISEX style, had my ears pierced, had me fitted for a training bra, and bought me the start of a girl’s wardrobe. I didn’t fight her because I knew I’d be going to jail when they found my dad. But I don’t want to go to jail. I want to die. The swat team is outside. I see their sneaky cameras peeking in the doors so this is almost over. I suggest everyone lay down on the floor.”
The kids and staff quickly slid to the floor. The naked people in the main aisle did likewise. The only person still seated was Earl panning across the lunchroom. When everyone was down Rick sprayed the upper portion of the doors with bullets. Many of the kids screamed in terror. With surprising speed Rick swapped out magazines and fired again. Several flash bangs went off and the SWAT team rushed into the lunch room from every direction. Rick dropped the AR15 and pulled the two 9mm pistols purposely exposing more of his torso.
“NOOOO!” Devon screamed as she jumped across the table tackling Rick as nearly a dozen red dots appeared on Rick’s torso. “You big dummy! You’re my only friend!” The duo fell back onto the floor, the impact knocking the pistols from Rick’s hands as the SWAT team swarmed towards them.
“NOOOOO,” Rick tearfully screamed. “DAMN YOU, EARL, THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL ME!”
“MY NAME IS DEVON,” Devon yelled back. “I’M A GIRL! MY STORY IS ALMOST AS HORRENDOUS AS YOURS!”
Rick and Earl were grabbed, separated, subdued and secured with wire tie cuffs as they cried. The students and staff were hurried out of the building, those who had disrobed were rushed outside wrapped in blankets. The Fire Company and Paramedics had set up a triage tent and the local hospital had sent doctors and nurses to staff it along with the EMTs. A dozen Ambulances from the surrounding area waited to rush victims to the hospitals. The streets were so jammed the FBI agents couldn’t reach the school.
As could be expected, the obnoxious news media was all over the latest school shooting doing non-stop broadcasting the rest of the day, almost salivating in their eagerness to learn how many had been killed and wounded so they could once again extol the need for gun control rather than addressing the real issue of mental health. After all, no one blames a pen when bad checks are written, so why blame a gun for shootings. The real issue is the people using the tools. The major networks were on live coverage as they desperately sought out the casualty totals. At first they refused to believe no one had been shot and were quite upset when they realized that indeed no one had been physically injured!
The lunch room had been shot up but all shots except those aimed at the doors had been well above the heads of those inside. Even the shots through the doors had been in the upper third. It was apparent Rick had not wanted to injure anyone but had been trying to set up a suicide by cop scenario for himself while exposing the failure of the school to even attempt to address bullying.
The first thing Karen knew something was going on was when the police arrived to arrest her for suspicion of child abuse. When she learned Rick was shooting up the school she fainted.
The local police in the area of the trailer park had grown acquainted with Frank over the months he’d lived there so knew which trailer to enter. They found his body lying on the floor of the master bedroom. There was also plenty of evidence Rick had been beaten, with blood splatter near the holes in the walls where his body had been slammed, most well above his height. It seemed quite evident that Rick shooting his father Rick had been an unpremeditated act of self defense.
In the school Rick collapsed in a babbling, incoherent, quivering mess. They took him to the hospital under armed guard to the psyche ward where they had to sedate him. Earl was seen as an accomplice. They discovered Rick’s folded confession in Earl’s pocket as they searched him before he was whisked away to an interrogation room at the police station. Two officers entered to begin the interrogation.
“I know my rights and I’m invoking my right to council,” Devon declared firmly. “I also want my mother present. I have nothing to say until then.”
Although the interrogators tried for half an hour, Devon defiantly sat silently glaring from inside her well hardened battle tested Earl shell. Police were sure Earl had actively assisted in the shooting.
Rick’s heartfelt rant raised serious questions about the bullying issues by the FBI, State Police, County District Attorney, State Department of Education and the State Attorney General. Similar questions were raised by the media once they realized no one had been hurt in the bizarre school shooting. They quickly latched on to the unrestricted bullying in the school. They managed to locate and question dozens of students who readily admitted there was rampant bullying and that the staff turned a blind eye towards it. It seemed quite evident to most people that the unrestricted bullying and an equally horrible home life had sent Rick over the edge. Rick’s last shouted words were “THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL ME!” was more than ample evidence the troubled boy did not want to hurt anyone but was setting himself up for a suicide by cop incident. The absolute horror and disgust of what Karen had been doing to Rick was virtually universal. Almost missed in the hubub about Rick were the few brief words Earl had uttered as he tackled Earl out of the line of fire.
Those words were not missed by Linda or James. “NOOO! You big dummy! You’re my only Friend! MY NAME IS DEVON! I’M A GIRL! MY STORY IS ALMOST AS HORRENDOUS AS YOURS!” They knew Earl was a boy, a angry lonely six year old boy. Where had he come up with the name Devon? It was embarrassingly obvious he still believed he was a girl! They thought that his self identification as a girl had been settled almost three years before... but was it? That was when Earl withdrew into himself... he hadn’t smiled or laughed since then... he refused to make friends... he refused to play any sports.
While James stayed with Jeff and Zack, Linda went to the police station where she met the family lawyer so they could both sit in on the interview. An FBI agent joined the two detectives for the interrogation. They peppered Earl with questions urging him to confess with the lawyer telling him to say nothing.
Earl looked at the camera in the corner. “I’ll tell you all I know if you post a complete and unedited copy of this interview on the internet. I want your promise, in writing, that it will be posted today. I don’t care if the cops, my lawyer, or my mother posts it, but I’ll say no more until I have that promise in writing.” At that point Earl clammed up.
After much discussion Linda agreed to post it. The promise was put in writing and everyone signed on.
"I had no idea Rick had anything planned until he sat at the table with his gym bag,” Earl began. “We are best friends even though we seldom talk. We shared our loneliness and music videos. We silently commiserated each other since both of us were and are being abused by our parents.”
Linda paled as Earl sent her a death glare.
“You see, I’m angry, frustrated, and barely control my rage,” Earl declared. “I’m six years old and am not bragging when I say I’m a genius, it’s a proven fact. It’s been almost three years since I last smiled or laughed, isn’t that right, Mother?”
Linda guiltily squirmed in her seat.
“You see, I’m a girl who has the misfortune to have a birth defect between my legs,” Earl declared. “At that Thanksgiving three years ago I made the mistake of telling my grandmother that I wanted a doll for Christmas when she asked what I wanted. My Father grabbed me and beat me for embarrassing him. I have not smiled or laughed since then. My parents tried to crush my innate girlishness by forbidding me to do anything remotely girlish. They tried forcing me into being a boy. I have resisted every effort. Unlike Rick, at least my parents were united in trying to force me to be a boy. Rick’s dad was always on his back being physically and verbally abuse trying to force him into become a super jock. To counter act that, his mother was drugging him forcing him into becoming a girl. Each of us were being forced by our parents into being the opposite of our true gender. To the best of my ability, I refused to play with any boy toys or games. It was rough at first but at least my parents finally realized they could not force me. At the same time I was forbidden to play with girls or girly things. That took away my ability to play... and my childhood. I taught myself to read and took up learning. The only physical activity I engage in is running, parkour really. But my life for the last three years has been one of utter hopelessness and despair.”
“I’ve seriously considered suicide just as Rick tried to do today,” Earl declared as his mother gasped in shock. Taking off his shirt he showed them the dozens of fresh slits, scabbed slits, and scars on the inside of his upper arms. “The pain is sublime and it’s so tempting to cut deeper. Cutting is the only way I can feel something beside anger and frustration. I have similar cuts on the insides of my thighs. Tell me, Mother, does it make you proud to know what you’ve driven me to do and contemplate!”
Tears of horror and regret were running down Linda’s cheeks as she went to hug him. The detectives and FBI agent were horrified.
Earl shoved her away. “Don’t you DARE try to hug me! I wanted your hugs for three years but you and dad refused because somehow, in you warped minds, a parent hugging a male child will make him a sissy? REALLY? By not hugging me for three years you’ve tormented me! I hurt so much I simply shut down my emotions, never to smile or laugh again! So it’s only now that the shit has hit the fan that you want to hug me? It’s too late for hugs! Just be glad I have not yet decided to kill myself. But don’t worry, I have it all planned out! I’ll slit my wrists at the bottom of the attic stairs. Then I’ll start waving my arms about so my blood splatters all over the floors, walls an ceilings. I’ll step inside your bedroom and hit the furniture too. Then I’ll head down the stairs and move through the first floor sprinkling blood everywhere until I bleed into unconsciousness!” The look in Earl’s eyes and the expression on his face as he spoke was that of pure hatred, utter hopelessness and eagerness.
“For the record, my REAL name is DEVON,” the girl said as the look of anger yielded to one full of determination and challenge. “I put a lot of research into selecting my name. Devon is a Celtic name meaning ‘defender’, she defends my true feminine gender. Just as Rick made his last stand today, I will begin my last stand. Rick did kill someone today, he killed Earl. Earl is dead and gone. By doing so Rick freed Devon! And SHE's not going away! I utterly refuse to be denied my girlhood! I refuse to allow anyone to insult me by insisting I’m a disgusting boy! I will fight to the death anyone who denies my right to my true existence!”
Devon’s words were from the heart. Her anger and frustration had breached her capacity to hold it in. The disgust and hatred for how she’d been forced to live the last three years hit them all like a knife to the heart.
"Now that I’ve made my stand I’ll tell everything I know about today," Devon declared. “Rick and I never talked about our home life or school life. Because of the abuse we were enduring we became loners. Without knowing the details of our unhappiness, we recognized the signs that made us loners in each other. We were utterly alone with no one to confide in. Neither of us trusted the other enough to risk revealing our secret. But we saw enough to awkwardly share our mutual loneliness. It really helped us to continue living our personal hell without slipping over the edge into madness.”
“I knew something was up when Rick wasn’t in the cafeteria line,” Devon continued. “When he came into the lunchroom with his gym bag without going through the food line I knew something bad had happened over the weekend. His face had the look of hopeless doom upon it, and whatever had caused it needed to be ended.”
“After Rick sat down in the lunchroom, he gave me folded papers which I put in my pocket and you took. He told me they’d be needed later. I never read it but I assume it's a confession. Then Rick handed me his cell phone, told me it was on a live streaming feed set up telling me to film what was going to happen. That's what I did. Upon seeing the weapons I wasn't really surprised his frustration boiled over. I'm proud that he intentionally made an effort not to injure anyone. He wanted the world to know what was happening to him and in the school. I gladly filmed what he did to humiliate the bullies. I will say that I would not have shed a tear if he'd gunned them down. I don't know if I could have shown such restraint. I just hope the school is exposed for intentionally harboring bullies."
“I hope Rick’s mother is thrown in jail for a very long time,” Devon continued. “I know how it feels to have the people who should love you force you out of your gender and into the opposite. What Rick did was a final plea for help in ending his hellish life. I saw the red dots appear on his chest. He did the entire thing so they’d kill him. They would have done it if I hadn’t tackled him. I hope the school staff is taken down for allowing child abuse. I hope my parents accept the REAL me. I hope Rick gets the help and love he needs.”
They questioned Earl for another four hours but were unable to get him to change his story. As long as they continued to refer to her a boy and use masculine pronouns she refused to respond to her dead name,. All they learned was that Rick and Earl had been bullied past the breaking point.
Finally the lawyer called an end to the interrogation, bluntly telling them if the were going arrest the child they should do so. Otherwise Earl was to be released. Since they found no evidence linking Earl to Rick’s attack on the school, they released him to his mother’s custody.
“I thought detective and FBI agents were supposed to intelligent,” Devon snarked as they left the room. “I told you earlier Earl was killed at the school and that I’m a girl. My real name is Devon! If you would have questioned Devon instead of Earl, things would have moved a lot faster. Now, because of your own stupidity, you can just dig through the records.
It was early evening by the time they reached home. James and the boys had ordered pizza. Naturally they were curious about the long questioning.
“They tried to say Earl was part of the plot,” Linda explained. “There was no evidence so they released him. However, we’re most likely going to have Children’s Services make a call. James, we’ve made a huge mistake. What we have done to Devon these last three years has been child abuse.”
Linda held up a thumb drive. “This an un-redacted copy of Earl’s interview. We all need to watch it and take it to heart.
The family watched the video. All were surprised by Earl’s declarations that Earl had been the sole victim of the school shooting. They were stunned that Earl had been cutting himself. Devon stripped to her underwear and let the family see the hundreds of tiny self inflicted cuts. Her plan for slashing her wrists and sprinkling her blood all over made them realize they had indeed been abusing Earl... Devon.
“So you’ve named yourself Devon,” James asked as he tried to process the hell Devon lived the past three years.
“Yes,” Devon replied in a harsh voice that was an open challenge. “I’m reclaiming my life. Each of you have choice. Accept me as the girl I truly am or there will be hell to pay.”
Karen was taken to the police station for in depth questing. Search warrants were obtained and her home was thoroughly searched. They found enough Androcur and estrogen to enable her to give him an injection a week to Rick until the end of the school year. Further investigation turned up a false paper trail within the files of the Medical group that employed Karen. Rick’s file, totally fabricated was tucked neatly into the patient files of the staff psychologist. In the Bean home they found printed instructions and all the medications Karen would need to castrate Rick. Rick was given a physical which revealed the physical abuse from his father. The development of feminine sexual characteristcs was plain to see on the unconscious boy. Blood tests revealed the horrible truth of his ordeal. Needless to say she was arrested for child molestation, falsifying medical records, planning Rick’s castration, and several charges of child abuse. She was held without bail.
Devon was thoroughly investigated as were his parents. The acts of child abuse against his parents from nearly 3 years before were examined. There was only one egregious violation of physical abuse and that had been three years before. They plead nolo contendre to all charges, received suspended sentences and agreed to attend parenting classes.
Devon underwent an intensive one week psyche evaluation which confirmed he was transgender, giving him the green light to begin transitioning to his true female self. The transition was not really difficult for the family. Earl had been dour and taciturn, always putting the family on a downer. Devon was once more smiling and laughing.
Deven bubbled over with excitement as they went clothes shopping. James, Jeff and Zach witnessed the bubbly giggling girl emerge from the shell of her deceased twin. The entire family marveled at the personality change and the fact Devon was genuinely excited to be shopping. Quite naturally she gravitated to what was denied for so long. Skirts and dresses were at the top of her list. A stop at a stylist converted her long boyish cut into a cute girlish style with bangs. Pierced ears soon followed.
The real shit hitting the fan happened at school. Mr Reynolds was suspended pending termination. The state attorney general sent a team to pour through the records looking for more examples of child abuse. Not only was the middle school put under a micro scope, so was the high school. Over the next three months, hundreds of students who had suffered abuse over the past twenty five years came forward to share their horror story. Over a dozen of the top educators were arrested and jailed. The superintendent and nearly all those under him were charged with child abuse. Over half of the school board resigned in shame. What really hit them was the felony charges of willful violations of the Child Abuse acts. All teachers, administrators and staff of a school are, by law, mandated reporters of child abuse. They MUST report suspected instances of child abuse for the police and CPS to investigate. They ADAs uncovered years of systematic abuse with hundreds of willful violations.
The ADAs finally had an undisputed case of a bullied student who eventually went over the edge ending in a school shooting. An above average student in first grade, the school should have spotted the abuse when Rick failed second grade, then passed it with an ‘A’ average. The same applied to his failur of third grade then earning ‘A’s the second time through. The fact he became a bully at that time warranted investigation but was not done. The abrupt change that happened after Rick was run over by Earl warranted investigation. The utter ostracization by his classmates should have been another trigger as should the daily locker bumps and book dumpings. Yet no one filed an abuse report. The formation of a frustrated tormented and teased eventual school shooter could have been stopped at any point if proper reporting had been done.
The ADAs also investigated Earl. His non-social interaction with classmates should have gone past the school counselor who covered four elementary schools. Earl’s obvious intellect coupled with his dour presentations should have set off alarms.
The biggest issue was Rick. He was hospitalized, clearly a victim of gender sexual assault. They had the boy strapped to his bed on a suicide watch. Several IV’s were installed dripping sedatives and high volume saline solution in an effort to flush the estrogen and Androcur from his body. The child abuse by both parents coupled with the bullying at school and his unsuccessful suicide by cop resulted in a major mental breakdown. For the first week he periodically attempted to curl into a ball on the bed. The suicide restraints strapped him down for his own protection. Numerous specialists attempted to break through the mental barriers he had erected. Basically he was in a catatonic state. As more information about his home and school lives filtered in, it became obvious that Rick was mentally unbalanced. Yet clearly he had not intended to hurt anyone. His motivation was to bring attention to his untenable situation and end his life.
The local DA was extremely reluctant to lodge any charges against Rick. It was clear the boy cracked under intense pressure from his mother, father, and the school. As the details became public, the populace increasingly felt Rick was a victim, not a perpetrator.
At the same time the public outrage at what Karen had been doing to Rick continued ramping up. After a severe beating by the women in the women’s lockup, she was put in solitary confinement awaiting her trial.
The reconstituting school board decided it would be detrimental for the school system for Devon or Rick to return to the school. They set Devon up on a home school curriculum. Rick would have to wait until the disposition of the case for that to happen to him.
After two weeks Devon asked to visit Rick in the hospital. The hospital was growing concerned that Rick was still unresponsive so they approved a visit. The staff psychiatrist, Dr. Harris, would sit in on the visit.
Devon was heartbroken when she saw the empty shell that had been his friend. Devon kept up a one sided conversation as Rick just laid on the bed.
After a half hour of no response, Devon decided to go all out. He opened his notebook and pulled up his latest song. “Rick, I found another song that fits our situation. It’s called ‘We’re not going to take it’ by a group called ‘Twisted Sister’ from 1984. This is a better newer version done by Dee Snyder, the lead singer of the group and also the song’s writer. In 2016, Dee Snider gave magician Criss Angel the rights to use the song as an "anthem" for his HELP (Heal Every Life Possible) charity. Snider appeared in a video of a stripped down acoustic version for the charity, recorded in the desert outside Las Vegas and featuring children in hospital and a young woman shaving her head to symbolize fighting cancer. Please listen to it. There is hope for us. We have hope! Things are already changing for the better and you’re the reason, Rick. You’re a hero! And my best friend! Just listen to the song.” Devon placed earbuds on Rick, then another set on himself, then began playing the song.
We've got the right to choose it
There ain't no way we'll lose it
This is our life, this is our song
We'll fight the powers that be just
Don't pick our destiny 'cause
You don't know us, you don't belong
we're not gonna take it
we ain't gonna take it
no we're not gonna take it anymore
Oh you're so condescending
Your life is trite and jaded
Boring and confiscated
If that's your best, your best won't do
Oh Oh
We're right
We're free
We'll fight
You'll see
we're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
we're not gonna take it anymore
we're not gonna take it
Oh no we're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
Oh we're not gonna take it anymore
Oh Oh
We're right
We're free
We'll fight
You'll see
Oh no we're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
we're not gonna take it anymore
we not gonna take it
oh no we're not gonna take it anymore
We're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
We're not gonna take it
No, we ain't gonna take it
Oh we're not gonna take it
Oh we're not gonna take it anymore
“Come on Rick, you’ve sulked enough, wake up so we can start running parkour! Come on, Dude.” Devon urged as she reset the song to play. Devon began tapping to the beats on Ricks left hand.
After second run through with no response Devon reset it for a third time. The Doctor was impressed with Devon’s devotion to her friend. She decide to allow the third play through before ending the visit.
About a third of the way through Devon let out an excited “squee,” as she pointed to the fingers on Rick’s right hand. “He’s trying to tap his fingers to the beat!”
Dr. Harris was stunned and delighted. After two frustrating weeks of trying to break through Rick’s mental defenses, Devon had made a tiny breach.
When the song ended Devon started playing it again. This time Ricks fingers picked up the rhythm.
As the fourth play through wound down, they noted Ricks lips were moving. Devon popped their earbuds and hit replay again. She began to softly sing along with Dee Snyder while she held Ricks left hand stroking it. Almost immediately Rick began mouthing the words. About half way through Rick was softly singing along. Dr. Harris was delighted and pleased that she had thought ahead to video the meeting.
When the song ended, Rick tried opening his eyes.
“Can you turn down the lights?” Devon asked as she user her hands to shield his eyes.
Dr. Harris tuned down the lights, eagerly watching as Rick opened his eyes.
“Earl, what’s going on?” Rick rasped.
“You’re in the hospital,” Devon replied.
“Then it wasn’t just a nightmare? Did I really shoot up the school?
Dr. Harris stepped up to Rick with a cup of water. “I’m Dr. Harris, your shrink. Take a sip of water.”
Rick obediently did so, then looked at Earl. With a tremor in his voice he asked, “Did I hurt anyone?”
“Only one person died,” Devon answered. “Earl didn’t survive.”
“Huh? But you’re here!,” Rick declared.
“Yes, because you put down a whip ass load of hurt on the school. Rick, your actions in shooting up the school finally freed me and I’m ever so thankful! You asked me several times what made me so weird. It was because I’m transgender, I’m a girl with a birth defect. My family refused to let me be a girl, that’s why I was so quiet and withdrawn and angry. But when you shot up the school, you freed me! When my parents found out what your mom was doing to you they realized they’d been forcing a girl to be a boy. I go by Devon now. We were alone together, but now we can be best friends!”
“Devon, like that girl in the Disturbed song,” Rick said. “Were you planning to kill yourself?”
“Yeah,” Devon said. “I had it all planned out. I intended to slice my wrists at the bottom of the attic steps, then I planned to move through my parents bedroom flinging blood everywhere, the doing the same through the second floor hall, down the steps and around the first floor rooms until I passed out. I knew I could it because I was cutting myself for over six months.”
Dr. Harris was horrified by Devon’s calm demeanor as she casually confessed to cutting and a plan for suicide. “Are you still planning to hurt yourself?”
“Not any more,” Devon smiled. “My parents were forcing me to be a boy. But after Rick shot up the school they realized they were doing to me exactly what Rick’s mom was doing to him. They finally accepted me as my true self so there is no reason to off myself.”
“You’re girl?” Rick frowned. “Man, I’m glad my dad never knew that. He kicked my ass for getting beat up by a five year old. A girl would have been even worse. Devon, you’re still my best friend.”
“Will I be charged with killing my dad?” Rick asked.
“No, the DA ruled it was justifiable homicide,” Dr. Harris answered.
“What about my mom?”
“She’s in jail, being held with no bail until her trial for abusing you,” Dr Harris answered. “With all the evidence the DA has, she’ll be an old woman when she gets out, if she gets out.”
“What about shooting up the school? Will they lock me up for that?”
“That’s still up to the DA,” Dr. Harris answered. “You did the right thing in getting the video of the incident out. The school is being ripped apart by the media, law enforcement and the public. Your desperation opened the lid exposing the school for their bullying and sexual abuse. So far half the administration has resigned. A dozen have been arrested. Nearly half the school board has resigned. More are sure to happen.”
“That’s a lot to happen in a couple of days,” Rick said. “They must be moving fast.”
“They are,” Dr Harris agreed. “Your situation has garnered a lot of sympathy. They could see you didn’t want to kill anyone, they could tell your situation was untenable. The pressure your parents and the school were placing upon you was impossible to bear. To be honest, I don’t see how you hung on as long as you did. It was your father attacking you and your self defense that sent you over the edge of insanity. Yet even then, your moral core would not let you indiscriminately kill.”
“Rick, it’s been more that a couple of days,” Devon stated. “You’ve been unconscious for two weeks.”
Rick’s mouth dropped open. “Two weeks... Really?”
“Yes, two weeks. Now that you’re awake the police and DA will be in to question you,” Dr. Harris explained. “You need to talk to them openly and honestly like you did the day of the shooting and today. Nearly everyone is on your side. Just keep up your faith.”
“Can Devon be here when they question me?” Rick asked. “She’s what enabled me to hang on. The songs she shares and her presence keep me calm and thinking straight.”
“I can’t promise anything but if Devon’s parents agree and the DA and investigators approve, I have no objections.”
Devon went to talk to her parents while Dr. Harris contacted the investigators. Devon begged them to help Rick as he had no family to look out for him and he needed a lawyer. Two hours later Rick, Devon, her parents, and their family lawyer were crowded into a conference room on the psych ward facing the ADA, and FBI agent, two detectives and a representative from CPS.
After introductions were made and Attorney Wilson was recognized as Rick’s legal rep, the video recording was of the session began. The ADA, FBI Agent, the detectives and the CPS rep as well as Attorney Wilson had their own recordings set up so there could be no dispute over what was said by whom.
Rick told his life story of being pushed into sports, the hired personal trainer in second grade, failing school, the fighting between his parents, his own time as a bully, his humiliating defeat by Devon, the further breakdown between his parents, Devon taking him from the crushing loneliness to being alone together. How that weird friendship helped him endure, The injections from his mother, the beatings from his father, finally the self defense killing of his father, then the plan to teach the school a lesson while he committed suicide by cop. The entire horror story came out. No ones eyes were clear as they all had to wipe away their tears.
Devon insisted on visiting Rick every day. It was the highpoint of the day for Rick. Linda and James couldn’t help but see in Rick what Devon saw in him... a lonely intelligent boy who’s life had been torn to pieces by circumstances beyond his control. A boy who wanted to do good but was hindered by his parents. A boy who saw their daughter as a true friend and confidant, and Devon returned the trust and confidant.
It took nearly a week for the DA, with the consent of the other agencies, held a news conference to announce their findings. Rick was there with two guards and Dr. Harris and the judge from Family court. James, Linda, and Devon were there to support Rick who was extremely nervous tightly clasping Devon’s hand.
The DA announced that the school shooting was a tragedy. And that while Rick admitted to the shooting, the investigators could not hold Rick responsible because of temporary insanity. Those responsible were his father, mother, and the school itself. Not being charged with the crimes did not mean Rick would be freed. He’d be placed in a foster home, required to have weekly one hour sessions with a psychiatrist to monitor his mental stability. Any signs that he might be cracking would mean a return to the psychiatric ward. In addition, there would be annual reviews of the weekly sessions by the DA and CPS who could change the treatment plan as needed. The public was greatly relieved. The only thing now was to find a foster family willing to take in Rick with all his attendant baggage.
Rick broke down in tears of joy and relief, hugging Devon for all he was worth.
Devon promptly turned her little puppy dog eyes on her parents. Linda and James looked at each other and sighed, then nodded.
James raised his hand. “My wife and I are the parents of Devon Daly. As you can see Devon and Rick are best friends, and have been for over a year, even when they were alone together. My wife and I don’t have a clean record. We made some horrible mistakes in our decisions about Devon. However we have seen the errors in our ways and have taken drastic steps to correct what we did wrong. Rick needs a home where he can feel safe and secure, a family that will trust him and not treat him like a loose canon. We know Rick will be on a home study course instead of returning to school. Devon is currently on a home study course so it’s simply a matter of getting Rick a computer. My wife and I think we can provide what Rick needs. If the court agrees, we’d like to petition the court to be appointed as Rick’s guardians and foster parents. Included in that will be the hope that in six months we can formally adopt Rick into our family.
Rick looked up at James and Linda in joyful disbelief. For the first time in years, he saw a chance to have a good life. “I’ll make you proud you took me in!”
The Judge Kerner from Family Court was well aware of the files on the Daly family as well as on Rick and his family. He followed the interaction between Rick and Devon during the announcement and had read the reports Dr Harris had made stressing the importance of Devon being Rick’s emotional rock.
He stood and approached the podium. The DA stepped aside.
“In my capacity as head of the Family Courts, I have followed and studied this debacle,” Judge Kerner stated. “I am aware of the issues Mr and Mrs Daly faced and can say I’m satisfied they have recognized and mended their erroneous ways. I have read much about the importance Rick and Devon place on their friendship and I daresay it’s as if they were already caring siblings. The Daly family is well aware of Rick’s past and I can think of no better placement for Rick than with the Daly family. So I hereby order Rick Bean placed in the custody of the Daly family. They are to insure Rick has his weekly meetings with Dr. Harris. Lastly, I look forward to seeing Rick and the Daly family in court in six months so I can sign the paperwork for his adoption.”
There was delighted applause from all assembled.
A few hours later Rick was riding in the rear seat of the Daly SUV as they headed to his new home. Jeff and Zach eagerly looked forward to greeting their new foster brother. James had picked up Jeff and Zack from school. Jeff packed his things and moved into Zach’s bedroom so Rick could have his own room. Rick was stunned by this show of trust and caring. Over the next few weeks, James and the three boys worked in the attic building walls and closets to formalize Devon’s bedroom in traditional terms as well as adding another bedroom on the opposite side of the central stairwell for Rick. New electric was wired in and a half bath was added. Insulation was installed and the duct work expanded to provide year round comfort.
Karen had her day in court. With all the irrefutable evidence against her there was no doubt she had done what she was accused of doing to Rick. Her defense was temporary insanity. The doctors testamony of what she had done to Rick horrified the jury and the public. Her former employer explained how she’d forged prescriptions and made up medical files. But it was when Rick was called to the stand that things went south. Rick calmly explained in detail what she had done to him. As he spoke he watched Devon, seated in the front row, clearly his rock in the deluge of anger.
Knowing she was losing, Karen decided to amp up her insanity defense. She sprang from her seat and attacked Devon while cursing up a storm. “You shemale freak! You seduced my Rick! I don’t understand how Rick can accept your transition while he fought so diligently against his own transformation!”
Devon jumped onto the seat of her chair, then did a diving forward roll over the top of the screaming woman. Unable to halt her wild charge, Karen plunged head first over the rail into the space Devon vacated. Devon rolled to her feet just as Rick reached her moving her behind him as they faced his mother. The baliffs reached Karen before she could get back to her feet. She was pulled to her feet, handcuffed and shackled, then returned to her seat.
When calm returned the judge cleared the court except for the lawyers and jurors. The judge questioned the jurors if Karen’s actions had prejudiced their view. To a person they said no, it had reinforced their view of the case.
With that the trial resumed. The verdict took fifteen minutes, she was found guilty on all charges. The sentence for each charge was five to ten years, to be served consecutively, on all 8 charges. Which meant at best forty years at worst eighty years. Rick was free from his mother.
<*> <*> <*>
Rick and Devon flourished in their new homelife. Rick happily played with his foster brothers and sister. When it came time to adopt Rick he asked they not do so, not because he didn’t love his new family, but because it was just a piece of paper. James and Linda suspected there was another reason.
Camping and fishing trips were a delight. Rick and Devon excelled at their school work, Devon slowed her pace to match Rick’s pace. Judge Kerner happily served penitentiary the presenter when they received their diplomas, still alone together but now with many additional friends. Rick was fourteen, Devon eight.
Both earned full ride academic scholarships to Penn State University that included special housing for their age and safety. The duo earned their Bachelor of Science degrees Magna Cum Laud in three years, and their Doctor of Medicine degrees in four years, again both Magna Cum Laud. Then they completed 4 years of residency. Rick was twenty five, Devon was nineteen.
It had taken two years, but Rick recovered from his misplaced and unwanted HRT. At age eleven Devon began testosterone blocker treatments, HRT at thirteen. Upon graduation and licensing as psychiatrists, Devon had her gender confirmation surgery with Rick serving as her personal doctor.
After recovery, they married. Other than cuddling and light but passionate kissing, the duo had remained chaste until their wedding night. Upon their return the duo joined a well known Gender Clinic where they helped those with gender issues. James and Linda marveled at how, despite their age difference, the duo were clearly in love and highly devoted all through those long years.
As for Karen, she didn’t live to see them marry. The lesbians at the state penitentary didn’t like men, but they knew actions like those of Karen only to the hatred society had for them. Karen’s acts had condemned her. The Daly family were the only ones present when she was laid to rest, finally erasing the lingering demons Rick had because of her actions.