This is the story of a theatrical acting opportunity that was so unexpected that it was too good to pass up. A role of a lifetime for our High School thespian may just turn out to be the role for a lifetime.
This is the story of a theatrical acting opportunity that was so unexpected that it was too good to pass up. A role of a lifetime for our High School thespian may just turn out to be the role for a lifetime.
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I was probably the loneliest person on the planet despite having over a thousand friends. I was very popular on Facebook, Tumblr & Twitter, but in the real world I didn't have a life. My existence revolved around my MacBook Pro laptop. I would return home from High School and spend the bulk of my day gradually working through my homework while connecting to my diverse pool of internet friends. There were a few local friends mixed in, but I hardly thought of them that way.
Besides my I-Friends, I would use my computer to watch movies. I loved film and to a somewhat lesser extent, theater. A lot of my friends came from my blogs about films. I guess since I did not live a very exciting life, I took pleasure in throwing my emotions into film study and drama. I knew every site where I could download films for free, even some that were still in the theaters.
At my High School in Northbrook I was not an outcast, but my niche of friends was pretty small. I did well academically, but I always sat in the back and spoke only when I had to. As a result, I always managed decent grades, but would be one of those students that the teachers would soon forget.
The only school extracurricular activities that I ever got involved with revolved around theater or film club. Even the film club was a bit of a bore, because I knew more about film and film techniques than the teacher that acted as the sponsor. I only stuck with that because I wanted to go to USC film school in two years when I would graduate.
My small group of school friends mostly came as a result of acting class and drama. For some reason I could pull myself out of my shell when it came to acting. I guess throwing my emotions into a role allowed me to express myself in a safe way and provided an emotional outlet. As soon as my acting scenes ended, I would tend to quickly regress back to my invisible shy self.
I was reasonably graceful on stage, but I had no real skills when it came to dancing or singing. I was fine for a background role in musicals, but my preference was for straight theater. The good parts in these shows usually went to students that had paid their dues in other shows which were mostly musicals.
I had made the cast in three shows, which thrilled my divorced parents. My mother and father got divorced nearly ten years ago but still got along when they were not lamenting about money. My father was a gynecologist at the local hospital and made a decent living, but he always felt the need drive fancy sport cars and own other yuppy toys. My father and I got along fine, but I always felt he was a little disappointed that I was not more like him in his macho pursuits. He never said anything specific, but I sensed he wished I was more of a guy's guy. When it came to the shows, however, they were both there together as proud parents. In my three previous shows I had only had about a half dozen total lines, but I still managed to be on stage and sing as part of the ensemble.
I was hoping that in the Spring play or one of the productions my senior year that I would get a bigger part. I would be applying to college early in my senior year and they all consider activities as part of the holistic college application process. My grades and ACT would be more than enough to get me into USC, but I needed something a little special to enhance my application.
I felt I had some talent, but I needed the right part to audition for. I was not exactly leading man material. I was barely 5' 8'' in shoes and you could blow me over with a strong fan. I had pleasant looking facial features, but I maintained the artist look with hair that easily rested on my shoulders. It was long enough to clip behind in the back, but my chosen look was a backwards baseball style hat. My favorite cap was a green Israeli army hat. It kept the hair out of my eyes and I thought it looked cool.
The big Spring show was always student written. It would be based upon classic themes in literature or older established productions, but would be re-written to reflect modern themes and more current cultural concepts. Last year they did a modern version of the Grapes of Wrath. Instead of focusing on life during the depression, the story focused on survival of an unemployed family trying to make do in the current economic world. It was an especially challenging story for students to put on in a school district that was generally populated by families that were financially well off. The production got good reviews, but was a little on the depressing side.
This year the show was called "Political Side Story." It was a modern take on Romeo & Juliet and West Side Story. The general storyline followed a young woman from a wealthy conservative family that falls in love with a boy from a liberal working class family. The student team that had worked on the script for the last 6 months had the task of bringing in as many political themes without directly insulting the audience or taking too much of a political position. Originally, the writers wanted to make the doomed couple a Gay couple, but the faculty advisers thought that making the central leads Gay, might be too edgy for a High School show. Having gay characters or leads were fine, but they did not think that the audience was ready for them to be the central love affair.
The final script included a lot of social commentary and quite a few pokes at the Tea Party, the debt ceiling and Obamacare. It was a well thought out script, but the doomed central love affair almost seemed like an afterthought to the storyline about the worlds separating them. The casting for the roles of Tony and Maria (names taken from West Side Story) could make or break the production.
The tryouts for the show were held the week after Thanksgiving even though the actual show would not be staged until mid March. There needed to be a lot of complex staging work and preparation to pull the show together. The play had a lot of juicy roles because the central lovebirds each had family and friends that had to be developed, each with their diverse social agendas. There were three or four parts I would have been thrilled to get, but I could only try out for one. They could cast you in a different (usually smaller) part if they liked someone else for your chosen role, but you only got one chance to make your initial impression. Sometimes you would get a call back or be asked to read a different part, but if you showed well enough, you could be cast without actually receiving a call back. I chose to read the part of Maria's brother Alexander.
The consensus best actress in the school was a girl named Monica. She could sing and dance with the best of them. She was also the star of our state ranked volleyball team. Unfortunately for the role of Maria, the character needed someone more delicate. Monica was attractive, but she was both too tall and possessed an athletic build. This was to be Monica's final show before graduating and the directing team wanted her to get a decent part.
Monica read for the Maria part and probably would have been adequate. With the right Tony it might be possible for her to look the part, but no one special emerged as a front runner for Tony. The casting crew decided on three call backs for both Maria and Tony, but were a little disappointed in the alternatives. There just didn't seem to be any natural combos.
During the call back readings, one of the writers made an offhand comment that Monica could probably read the part of Tony better than any of the guys that were called back. The other two lead writers were immediately drawn to Jenny's comment. It was probably an accurate assessment, but the concept was really the brilliance of the statement.
Jack quickly added, "that would be a great twist on the story. If she played the lead male role, it would add some modern intrigue. It would not be a gay relationship, just something extra to make people think."
"I am not sure that is what I really meant, but maybe."
Kaya also through her thoughts into the mix. "If we cast Monica as Tony, we ought to cast one of the guys as Maria."
Mr. Jackson, the theater teacher and our faculty advisor, began to object.
Kaya quickly cut him off. "In Shakespearean theater men originally played all the parts. This would just be our modern twist on the concept."
"I see your point Kaya, but this is a play with serious themes and is not a comedy."
"I really think Monica would be a great Tony, Mr. Jackson" Both Jenny and Jack shook their heads in agreement.
"Okay for the moment, assuming she would take on that role, who would you have in mind for Maria?"
The room took on a long silence.
Jack was first to speak. "Getting a guy to play a female role as anything but for laughs could be a challenge. None of the call backs for Tony could possibly pull it off."
Kaya nodded affirmatively as she said "We have to go back to square one with our Maria casting. Let's rethink the auditions; specifically as it pertains to Maria, we have to think outside the box."
"We don't want people seeing a masculine guy parading in a dress no matter how good an actor he is. This part needs someone who is less recognizable that can carry it off." responded Jenny.
Over the next half hour the committee went over every person that had auditioned for a part.
Chapter 2---
I was surprised when I got a call just before dinner on the day the afternoon call backs were being held. I had not received a call back, but the actual casting was not going to be posted for a couple of days.
My mother yelled to me to pick up the land line. I almost never used that phone. I slid my computer off my lap and went into my Mom's room to find a phone. She told me Mr. Jackson from school was on the line.
"Hello"
"Hi Mr. Jackson, what's up?"
"Nate, this may seem like a late request, but can you come back to the school at 7:00 to read for a part in the play?"
"I thought the call backs were this afternoon."
"They were, but we are still trying to cast the show and wanted you to read for another part."
"That's cool, which part should I prepare myself for."
"We would rather you just came and did it with no preparation."
"Why's that?"
"There is not much time for you to learn this part and we do not want you over-thinking it."
"Alright, I will see you in a little over an hour, thanks..."
My heart was racing the moment I got off the phone. My mother was almost as excited as I was when I told her about the audition. She joked that anything that got me off my computer was a good thing.
I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to select the right clothes to wear. I had no idea what I was going to be reading for, so I didn't know whether a casual or conservative look would fit the part. Ultimately, I selected standard theater duds. I wore tailored jeans and a V-neck purple sweater. I wanted to show I had some fashion sense, but I didn't want to look like I got all dressed up for the last minute opportunity. I also wore my black Dansko clogs because the made me appear about an inch taller.
I was greeted warmly by the whole casting committee. They all seemed too social for a call back. This last minute reading was already strange to begin with, but everyone just felt overly friendly. I had only gotten there a few minutes before 7:00, but until Monica walked through the door, I was the only call back there. It was all very confusing, especially since I knew I would not be reading for the same part as Monica.
To me Monica was like royalty. She was popular, talented and of course, a senior. I was confident in my abilities, but felt like a child next to her. Her mere presence dominated me, as did her towering physical stature.
I was waiting for a cue on what was next. I plopped down into the second row of seats and patiently sat there silently. Monica did likewise a few seats over. I glanced in her directions a few times while trying not to stare. We both shrugged our shoulders and made polite half smiles to each other as we both contemplated what was up.
Finally, we were both asked to sit down on the edge of the stage as the casting committee and Mr. Jackson sat down in the first row of seats. This was not how I envisioned a call back.
Jenny broke the silence by asking us about the play and the statements that the storyline was trying to make. Before long we were all much more relaxed and the conversation was flowing. Ultimately we all agreed that a majority of the story was about how opposites and people of different cultures could fall in love, but that society was not always ready for this forbidden love.
"Jenny, I think we all grasp the meaning that you have written into the plot, but I am still confused as to why Monica and I are sitting down and discussing this with you."
"Well, Nate, we have been looking for something to profoundly show that the differences in people are all just a matter of viewpoint. It doesn't matter if you are white, black rich or poor, republican or democratic, even male or female, ultimately love is between two people."
"Well I am confident that I can express that feeling given the opportunity. I am sure Monica feels the same way."
It was Monica's turn to interject. "I have been to more than a few auditions before; you must be talking about something outside the existing script or we would have already been reading for you."
"Monica, your intuition is correct. We have tweaked the main characters to add a twist to the storyline and emphasize that people are just people."
Monica looked in my direction and caught my grin before saying, "So you would like us to play the leads, because we are physically a little mis-matched?"
"Well, that is sort of..."
Mr. Jackson cut off Jenny to get to the point.
"What we are about to ask you is not quite so simple. You both have talent and Monica you have always been a shining light in our theater program. The roles we have envisioned for both of you will challenge you beyond anything you might have considered. If you take the leads in the production, it will take all of your skills and efforts and not always be comfortable."
"Mr. Jackson, I am sure I speak for Monica, but I would be honored to take on the role of Tony, it would be a fantastic experience to play her unlikely opposite."
"As I was saying Nate, the leads are yours, but not exactly as you are envisioning."
"What am I missing?"
"Well Nate, quite simply, the casting committee would like you to play the lead role of Maria and Monica to play Tony!"
"What! You're kidding aren't you? I can't play a girl's part."
"This play is a modern take on a Shakespeare classic and in his day all the parts were played by men. Many of the most famous actors of theater and film have played across gender types."
"But..... I just can't imagine how I could pull that off. This is supposed to be a serious play and not a comedy."
"With the right direction and some coaching we think you have the skills to pull it off. We wouldn't be here right now if we didn't think you could do it."
"I just don't know. I am sure Monica does not want to play a guy."
"Well Nate, actually I think it would be a rush. I have played so many traditional parts, but this would be a great statement role. I think the challenge would expand my acting resume."
Kaya softly clapped her hands as she looked in my direction. If Monica is willing and excited to play Tony's part, it's not like you would be playing a girl's part falling in love with a man. What we are offering is really a phenomenal opportunity for someone that has never had a major part before. I think you could be wonderful, but if you are not willing I am sure we can find a replacement quickly."
"I didn't say I was not willing, I am just a little shocked."
"Do to the nature of these parts, you will both have to have one of your parents sign a permission slip to fully except these lead roles," added Mr. Jackson.
"Can I think about this?"
"Come on Nate, you can do this. We will be a great couple."
"Monica, you are one of the most popular people in school...my parents sometimes forget my name! I don't want to be a joke."
"If you really feel that way this should be great for you. We will be hanging out a lot together, besides if you put your soul into the part you will not be a joke. I didn't even get a lead role when I was a junior."
"I guess that is true, but I still think I will look ridiculous on stage playing a girl."
"It will be our job, to help you get ready for the part," barked Jenny. "The production is still months away, so you will have plenty of time to rehearse and mentally prepare yourself. Don't take this wrong, but making you look the part will be the easiest aspect."
"You certainly know how to make a guy feel good," I responded sarcastically.
"So are you going to jump on your opportunity?"
"I hope I am not making a mistake, but if my mother says it's alright, I am in."
"Is she home now?" interjected Mr. Jackson."
"Yes, she is waiting for my call to pick me up."
I will call her and explain things and I would like to do that with your parents too, Monica. Why don't you both go and relax for a while and I will make the calls."
Monica and I walked out into the hall together. It was an awkward few minutes, but we congratulated each other and gave each other a casual hug. Monica was more excited about her part than I was mine. She couldn't stop talking about how much fun it would be to play such a unique role. She tried her best to encourage me.
"We are in this together, Nate. I will be by your side and make sure that everyone gives you the respect you deserve for getting this part. I guess you could say, I will be looking out for you like a good boyfriend should."
"Please don't tease me. This is going to be hard enough."
"I didn't mean to. I just want you to know you are not on your own, and I will be by your side all the way."
"Thanks."
Chapter 3----
By the time my mother pulled into the circle to get me, she already knew all about my starring role and what was being asked of me. I was grateful I didn't have to explain the casting twist and have to ask her if it would be OK to play a female character. Her first words were "Congratulations on getting the lead role."
I had not really thought about it quite that matter-of-factly. I knew it was one of the two starring roles, but in reality the story revolved around Maria. I would probably make or break the show.
"So are you excited?"
"I think shocked would be a better choice of words. I am thrilled to get such an important part, but I am playing a girl! In my wildest imagination I would never have contemplated that."
"I guess that is a bit shocking, but you probably never imagined getting a lead either. You will have an opportunity to become a real thespian."
"That may be true, but I will get there looking like a lesbian."
My mother smiled at my little play on words.
"What's dad going to say when he hears about this? He's going to think his son is a sissy or something."
"Now let's stop this self deprecating nonsense right now. If you don't want people to give you a hard time, you better start by accepting and being proud of your own accomplishments. Your dad will be happy for you and proud just like I am. I will talk to him tonight or tomorrow. Don't fret about your father."
"I know I should be happy, but I also don't want to be a joke. I am not sure I can handle performing as a girl. It's all so out there."
"It won't be simple, but you have always been creative and a good actor. You have a lot of time to work on your character and get comfortable in being a girl."
"By tomorrow everyone at school will know about this, so I guess I will have to get over my anxiety quick. I am not that popular at school now, and I don't think this will help my reputation."
"Don't be so sure. You are now a big-shot in the play. You will probably make some new friends."
"We'll see."
"Your father and I will be in your corner all the way. I know a little about being a girl and I will help you. You are not going to be ready for your stage debut if you spend all of your time up in your room on your computer. I will give you some of my own brand of directing to make things easier."
"I will probably get plenty of that at rehearsals, but I know you mean well."
"It's going to take a lot more than rehearsals for you to make a convincing Maria. Trust me; your actual director is going to appreciate any help I can give you. Just relax and we can discuss this all later after it all sets in."
My fate became official shortly before 10:00 pm, when the cast list was posted online. Under normal circumstances I would have been online every few minutes looking for the casting post, but I already knew my name would be there. I was sort of curious about the other characters, but the thought of seeing my name next to Maria kept me from looking.
It didn't take long for my phone to ring. Almost simultaneously, I also began to receive text messages. The first text probably said it best "Is this for real?"
My closest school friend Sam was on the line. Most of my friendships were the internet variety and while a few were also schoolmates, I did not hang that much with anyone from school. Sam would easily be classified as my best bud at school. He lived across town so I did not see him that much outside of school, but we did stick together whenever possible at school. Socially, like me, he did not have a great many close school buds. I liked him because he was a great artist and always appreciated all forms of creative expression, including my film blogs. He was also involved in theater, but usually on the set design side of things.
"So Nate, you and Monica are the talk of the school. The role reversal is going viral."
"I guess I am not anonymous anymore. This thing just happened."
"It's so cool! You're famous now."
"Yah, but in a weird way."
"It's different, but the whole concept is so rad. I can't believe those straight laced theater nerds came up with such a amazing twist. And you are perfect for the part."
"I'm not sure I like that comment. Why am I so perfect to play a girl's part."
"I didn't mean it in a bad way. Nobody really knows you, so they won't be thinking about Nate in drag. You are a good actor and are one of the few people in drama that could probably pull it off convincingly."
"I'm still not sure I like what you mean by that, but I will try and take it as a compliment."
"Get used to it. The play is not for over 3 months and rehearsals don't begin until after break. You are going to be the center of attention for a long time."
"What's everyone else saying?"
"I haven't talked to anyone yet, but it's all over Facebook. Mostly "did you hear?" kind of stuff. I haven't seen anything nasty."
"I am getting texts from people I didn't even know had my phone number. Mostly congrats type of bullshit, but I haven't responded to anyone yet. I guess I will just say thanks and leave it at that."
"You and Monica are going to be quite a team. How is she doing with this?"
"Better than me. She says she loves the challenge."
"You should too. Don't forget your old friends when you become a famous actress."
"Stop!"
"Sorry, I just think it is way cool."
"Glad you're thrilled...see you at school tomorrow."
“Chio"
I spent the next half hour responding to messages. I was a little evasive, but tried to sound excited and appreciative. I wasn't sure what the next few days would bring, but I tried not to think too much about it.
I couldn't shake the apprehensive feelings I was experiencing. It took me longer than usual to fall asleep. The built up nervous energy refused to let my mind wind down. When I finally did fall asleep, I was out like a light. When the morning alarm sounded I did not want to get out of my slumber.
As I suspected, I received a lot more than the usual level of attention at school. Just about all of my small circle of friends congratulated me and gave me some good natured teasing. I also received hugs and positive attention from theater people I barely knew. More than a few of them affectionately referred to me as Maria. It was not meant as a tease or insult, but rather as a honorary label for my knew found celebrity standing. I was called Maria more than Nate during most of the new attention directed at me. I played along and took it all in stride.
I didn't cross paths with Monica until after 3rd period. She was clearly in a good mood and was already into the spirit of the show. As if to make a point, she was wearing a white collared shirt with a black narrow tie. It was stylish, but the implication that she was going to be playing a boy could not be missed in her morning fashion selection.
"Nate, now that the reality of your fabulous role has sunk in, are you ready?"
"Pretty much. I have not received so much attention since... well, never! So far, I guess it has been easier than I expected."
"Well today should be easy. After today the back patting is over and we have to get to work. Rehearsals will begin after break, but you and I have a lot of lines to learn and we both are going to need to practice, practice, practice. Between now and formal rehearsals we need to get into our characters and learn most of our lines. By the time formal rehearsals begin, we should be mostly working on details and staging. We have less than six weeks to be ready."
"You certainly have more experience with this than me. What's the best way to get prepared?"
"Well you can start memorizing some of your lines, but because this is a student written script, some of them will probably get changed as they work on the staging. The best thing is to get into your character and practice scenes."
"That's going to be hard to do before rehearsals."
"Not really. You and I are in a majority of scenes together. We can do readings together."
"Okay...When do you want to start?"
"ASAP. How about tomorrow?"
"Where?
"My house. We have a pretty big house and both of my brothers are already off to college. We can get a lot of privacy there."
"Sounds reasonable. After dinner?"
"7:00 or there about"
"That works. By the way, tomorrow night you don't have to wear a tie for me..."
"Don't joke about this. You need to start thinking more about getting into your part. Loosen up, remember you have to act like a girl."
"I'm just saying..."
"Tomorrow 7:00 and leave the attitude behind."
"Will do"
Chapter 4--
I was starting to get comfortable being noticed. My status as invisible was fading away and at least for now I was enjoying it.
The next day at school when I crossed paths with Monica she gave me a strange once over and reminded me to be over promptly at 7:00. I noticed she was still intentionally trying to look slightly butch. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail. but it was bunched with a simple rubber-band low along her neck. She did not appear to have on any makeup and her clothes included a Chicago Bears T-shirt, jeans and converse gym shoes. She came across as almost androgynous. It might have been my imagination, but even the way she walked seemed more like one of the guys.
I wanted to get off on a good start so I rang her doorbell exactly at 7:00. Monica quickly ushered me in and up to her room. She had a huge bedroom with her own attached bathroom. It was definitely a girl's room with the exception of some sports memorabilia.
Once we were in her private lair she wasted no time in telling me I needed to get with the program. I was a shocked by her blunt criticism. I was clueless as to her attitude.
"What? I am here. I even read through the script a couple of times."
"Duh! I know you will learn your lines. Anyone can do that."
"So, I still don't get it."
"Obviously. You have so much to learn."
"That's why I am here."
"Have you noticed anything different about me the past two days?"
"I guess."
"You guess what?"
"Well you have changed your look a bit."
"Anything else?"
"Well today you seemed to be carrying yourself a little differently."
"At least you are observant. That's a start."
"Monica, I thought you were doing that for fun."
"Acting is fun to me. The best actors all have a passion for it. When you get a good role you have to live and breathe it. Some call it method acting, but whatever you call it, you need to think like your character."
"I plan to throw myself into as much rehearsing as it takes."
"You can't possibly expect to act like the heroine in the play by simply showing up for rehearsals, unless you want to fail."
"I am here to get ready. We can work together until we are hoarse."
"You are missing the point. You can read the lines all you want and still fail."
"I'm listening."
"I can't rehearse with Nate."
"What?"
"You need to be and think like Maria. To play a female role you need to assimilate so much. It is not just a costume. You need to walk, talk, gesture, and naturally send out subtle cues. If you want to be successful you have to lose your inhibitions and for all intents and purposes try and be and think like a Maria."
"How am I supposed to do that?"
"You committed to this play and everyone knows that. You need to start getting into the role. Throw your male ego out the window. Start showing me and the world some girl."
"Say what!"
"I have tried to start thinking like a Tony and dressing like one. It's not easy, and I have a long way to go. I haven't seen a thing from you yet. You even showed up here without so much as a hint of your pending character. I know it is a challenge, but you won't be able to snap your fingers and get into the role."
"What were you expecting me to do?"
"I didn't expect you to show up at school dressed as a cheerleader, but I thought you might at least try and soften your look; maybe a little makeup or at a minimum some attitude adjustment."
"I can't act like a girl at school... people will laugh at me."
"Has anyone laughed at you yet? The school has shown it is behind you. You might get a smile or two, but it will only be an issue if you make it one."
"It's harder for a guy to be accepted acting feminine than for a girl to be accepted acting masculine."
"That's a guy talking right now. You have no idea how it is for me."
"I'm just not sure I can do that."
"You should not have taken the part then."
"I just didn't think it would carryover beyond the stage."
"Get real! If you are going to pull this off you have to open your mind and go all in."
"I don't even know where to begin?"
"Exactly! That's why each journey starts with a first step."
"What will my mom think if I start acting weird?"
"It's not weird and she has already talked with Mr. Jackson and said she would help you in any way she can."
"I'll talk with her then... what now?"
"You are all questions..... let's get you over some of your fear."
"Easier said than done."
"I want you to sit down in this chair. I am going to put some makeup on you and brush out your hair. I want you to see a girl in the mirror."
"Fine... if you think that will help me get adjusted. I hope I don't look too stupid."
Monica worked me over for about 20 minutes. She spent a big chunk of the time on my eyes, but also added facial blush and even some light pink lipstick. When she finished my makeup she removed my ponytail and brushed out my hair. She teased it in a couple of areas and added some a couple of swift puffs of hairspray. As if to add insult to my misery, she dabbed a small amount of perfume on me before she would let me see her handwork. When I asked why she did that she said I needed to feel feminine with all of my senses.
My heart skipped a couple of beats when I finally saw my image on her closet mirror. My face looked attractive. I looked a little older, but I knew I was not kidding myself in that I was actually more than a little pretty. I didn't think that would be so easy."
"So Maria, how does my girl feel?"
"Strange. I never thought I would look like this."
"The directors obviously did, but that is just your face. It's a good start."
"Ok, but you know I can't go to school like this."
"Why not... besides you need more than just makeup. You have to stop fighting it. I should send you home with some of my clothes, but I think you probably need a smaller size than me. Your Mom can probably get you some things."
"She'd probably freak if she saw me now."
"I bet she would love it."
"After she fainted..."
"I think we ought to dress you up and see."
"I already look different enough to shock her."
"I have a sweater dress that would look acceptable on you. Add some boots and maybe a wide belt and you would probably look phenomenal."
"What happened to taking small first steps?"
"You need an initial shove to get you into the right frame of mind."
"If we keep this up we will not get much rehearsing in."
"This is better for you than hours and hours of line reading. Until you can accept looking and feeling feminine you will be worthless reading the part."
"Ok, get me the dress."
"Slow down girl. You need to get ready for it first."
"Now what?"
I would never have thought this evening was going to turn out like this. Monica had somehow taken over my self control. I guess seeing my pretty face had somehow changed my attitude. As if in a hypnotic trance Monica had convinced me to shave off the minimal fuzz on my arms, legs and even under my arms. I didn't have any yet on my face, so that was not an issue.
After rubbing some lotion onto my skin she insisted that I put on a pair of her panties and one of her bras. I changed in her bathroom and she slipped two rubber stress balls through the door. These were sand filled and once in place gave me a pretty big set of breasts. I felt naked and quickly slipped the maroon dress over my head. After coming out of the bathroom she gave me a pair of tall black leather boots that had about 3 inch heels. A matching wide black belt with a chrome buckle was positioned around my waste. The shoes were snug, but actually fit reasonably well.
Monica never let me pause as she kept adding elements to the mix. Before she was done I had on a series of wrist bangles and some clip-on earrings.
As Monica finished her work she re-brushed my hair. I think I let out nervous giggle, which prompted, "somebody is getting into this."
Monica had a huge grin on her face as she stepped back, "Now you are Maria."
I just couldn't stop looking at myself in her closet mirror. I was terrified, but also fascinated over my transformation. I looked almost as good as most of the girls at school. An hour ago I would never have thought this possible, but here I was dressed completely from head to toe.
"So Tony, what do you think?"
"I may turn into a jealous boyfriend... you are going to get a lot of attention from the other boys. How do you feel?"
Stealing a line from West Side Story, I said "I feel pretty."
"Well you are. It's a good first step for getting into your part. You look like a Maria and that was the first time you acted like one. The more you dress this way the better an actress you will make."
"You are probably right, but it's not like I can do this all the time."
"And why not? You are probably a little dressy for school, but you need to start bringing some of this expression to school. Girls wear jeans, but you have to start incorporating feminine personality traits into your life 24-7."
"That scares me. I am just not sure I can do it."
"No one will care and everyone knows you are playing a girl's part. My guess is that your friends and classmates will think it's cool and really get into it."
"A couple of them have already started calling me Maria and even that feels so odd."
"Maria is such and old fashion name. I think I like Mia better. Nate from now until the final curtain goes down, I christen you Mia."
"Let's just say I am willing to try and be more Mia and less Nate, my parents may have something to say about that."
"Well Mia, that's why we dressed you up,. It is time for your Mom to meet her daughter."
"I think I need to tone this down for her."
"No way. That would defeat the point. Put your old clothes in this bag, time for me to drive you home."
I was petrified as I walked down the driveway and got into Monica's CRV. Even the simple task of walking in heels was something that I had to learn. Not much was said on the short drive to my house.
After we parked in the driveway I called my mom on the phone and asked her if she could meet me and Monica alone in the kitchen. She wanted to know what was up, but agreed to meeting us there. It was kind of funny, but she commented that I did not sound like myself on the phone. It was probably because I was nervous and talking softly, but my voice was obviously the least of the change she was about to notice.
I wasn't sure what to expect when my mother saw me decked out in Monica's clothes, but her reaction wasn't what I expected. She must have suspected something like this because there was no shock on her face as she first laid eyes on me. Her first words were "Stand up straight and pull your shoulders back a little."
"I can explain."
"I understand honey, you're anxious to start getting ready for the show."
"You're not mad or upset?"
"Of course not, I was planning to get you some things and see how you looked this weekend. Turn around for me, so I can get the full view."
"This just sort of happened tonight on a whim."
"Nate, that dress looks adorable on you, but may be just a little long for you."
"It's Monica's and she is taller than me."
"I sort of assumed that, unless you already had been accumulating some girl's clothes that I did not know about."
"What? No, Why would I have done that?"
"It's OK, Nate, I am not trying to say anything."
It was Monica's turn to speak up. "Mrs. Adams, it is important that Mia spend as much time as possible learning to be a girl. Even at school she needs to include as much of her feminine side as possible. Everyone knows about the play and will be behind her all the way. If she is going to be a convincing Maria in the show, she needs to get totally comfortable being a Mia when off the stage."
"Monica, why are you calling her Mia?"
"That's the name that Nate settled on since he doesn't really look like a Nate now and Maria sounded kind of old fashioned. She will probably better fit in with the other girls as a Mia."
"Hey you both, you keep calling me a she. I'm still a guy even if I don't look like one right now."
"Honey, you picked out a pretty name for yourself. I think it best that we think of you as a she so long as you are being Mia. That is part of the learning. Your sensitivity to that is why you have to practice."
"It just seems so unnecessary. That sounds like you expect me to be a girl all the time."
"Well honey, Monica is right. If you really want to make the best of your big theatrical opportunity, you really do need to basically try and get used to being Mia. I can help you at home and Monica and her friends can help you blend in at school."
"I'm not wearing a dress to school."
Monica jumped on his attitude "It doesn't matter if you wear a dress or not. It's almost better if you don't. If you can change enough elements of your look and attitude to become a convincing Mia without screaming look at me in a dress, Then you will be ready for the stage and be a convincing woman."
"Monica, I had a long conversation with the drama teacher, Mr. Jackson. He asked that I help my little actress with things only a mother could. I told him that I would and we agreed that practice, practice, practice would be the only way to pull this off. I am sure he would be on board if 'Mia' began to spread her wings a little at school."
"Mom, I appreciate your understanding, but don't get carried away; besides Dad will freak if he knows I am prancing around as a girl."
"You are probably correct and your father may take some time to fully get comfortable about this. I told him last night about your part in the show and he took it hard. You know he loves you, but it took a while for him to settle down."
"I was afraid of that."
"Your dad is not homophobic and not completely un-sympathetic, but you know he always dreamed of you being more the fraternity boy type. I don't think he ever forgave me for buying you that Princess costume for Halloween when you were 5."
"I don't remember that... I was a princess for Halloween?"
"I am surprised you don't remember it. You were so cute; no one suspected you were a boy. You were having such fun I never gave away your secret."
"Wow, I really don't remember, but what about all of this and Dad?"
"Well he went on about boys should act like boys and girls like girls. I started to get angry with him, when he cut me off and said he wasn't naive or an idiot. He commented that he didn't have a problem with boys that wanted to be girls or girls that wanted to be boys, just that it is just something a parent doesn't wish for. He explained that it is definitely different for kids today, but he may need some time to get used to you as a girl."
"You told him the girl stuff was for the play, RIGHT!"
"I did, but he just sounded defeated. When we were all done with the discussion, he said he would be supportive. It might take him a while, but he would learn to adjust. He even said he would do whatever he could to help. I am not sure how he can do that, but giving you some space and being supportive is probably enough."
"I am having dinner with him Saturday, so I guess I will find out. He has always been good about my theater stuff, so I hope he knows why this is such a big deal. I imagine him seeing me dressed girlishly off the stage might be asking too much. I will keep the Mia thing as far from him as I can."
"Honey, he is going to know and besides I already warned him that if he came by the house he would likely see you practicing. When you meet him Saturday it is best that you get this confrontation over with. You will feel better if you don't need to sneak around behind his back. Tomorrow is Friday and after school we will go and get you some of your own things and we have all day Saturday to prepare as well. From Now until the show is over you are going to be my Mia."
"Mom, I won't need that much."
"Monica will tell you, a girl needs a lot of help looking her best. You are starting from scratch."
"Mia, your mother is right. You don't want to wear the same outfit to school every day."
"Outfits? I thought I just needed some things to express a more feminine appearance."
"Some of the things we will get for you will not be that different than some of your old boy clothes, but it should all have some element of your new persona. Trust me, you will look very nice."
"Mrs Adams, it sounds like you have this under control. I look forward to rehearsing with Mia. It also sounds like I should be focussed on upping my effort to be more of a believable Tony. It will help Nate adjust to being Mia if I also throw myself into being Tony at school. That way no one can question Nate's motivation if we are both doing this all the way."
"Thank you, Monica. That is probably a very good idea. If both of you are clearly into your roles at school, I think almost any style might be possible."
"Monica.."
"Mia, you need to call me Tony. Get used to it."
"Ok Tony, I think you dressing the part will probably make it easier for me, but let's not get carried too far away."
"Mrs. Adams, I am going to head home now. You two can have some mother daughter time now."
"Thank you for everything Monica. I will have Mia return your things after we get her some of her own items."
"No hurry, I think they look cuter on Mia, anyway. Bye now."
BY NINA ADAMS
In Part 2 our young star begins to accept his opportunity to become the lead actress in the school production. The role of a lifetime is gradually becoming the role for a lifetime.
Everything seemed to be happening so fast. A few hours ago I was heading to Monica's house to rehearse and now I found myself looking and being treated as a girl called Mia. I knew from the time I took this part that I would be bending the gender barriers, but I never really thought I would end up playing out the part so thoroughly off stage. My Mother expected me to dress, act and be her daughter almost completely when at home and even more disturbingly I was expected to extend much of that role playing to school. The school aspect was still not sitting well even as I was beginning to accept my crazy predicament.
The conversation with my mother was brief after Monica had left. She just tried to reassure me that everything would work out and be OK. She reiterated that tomorrow was Friday and that we would begin my education after school. She brought a few things into my bedroom and also cleaned out one of my drawers and made some space in my closet. I was told that would be good enough as a start. The final reference to to my new found status came when it was time for me to get ready for bed. I was carefully shown how to properly remove my makeup and moisturize.
I was emotionally exhausted as I headed to bed. I was quickly asleep even though I had a fitful night of strange dreams. When I finally awoke in the morning all that was on my mind was the pending challenges and changes that were coming.
On my chair next to my backpack was a neatly folded gold sweater. I didn't remember it from the previous evening’s activities.
As I was rubbing my hand over its soft feel, my mom surprised me from the hall. "It is called cashmere. That is why it is so soft. I thought that wearing one new thing would be a good way for you to get into the right frame of mind for the future. It is a very basic sweater that is similar to your others. It has a boat neck opening which is just a little larger than most of your old tops.
"Mom, I certainly don't have any this color."
"Honey, let’s not start this every time you try something new. Are we understood?”
"Ok, Ok just saying."
I went on to get myself ready for school and the last thing I did was put on the sweater. When I did, I also discovered other differences. It was longer than most of my sweaters and the sleeves were puffy except where they gathered back in at my wrists. The material felt luxurious but the style over my straight leg jeans sent out feminine signals. I knew that was the intent, but I was tensing up thinking about it. I mustered all the strength I could to not complain and just keep on getting ready to go.
As we prepared to head out the door my Mom pulled me aside and repositioned the rubber band holding my hair in the back. She took it out, brushed my hair and then re-positioned it much higher on the back of my head. She also had left a few strands in the front on both sides to hang freely. When she felt satisfied she commented, "this will have to do for now."
I would never had put my hair up like this, and again expressed some mild resistance. I considered that once at school I could change it, but with Monica and my mother working together I knew I had to be careful. Between my hair and the feminine sweater I knew my new look would be noticed.
Even before school started, I began to get some comments from classmates. Most of my friends just smiled and many of them gave me some sort Maria compliment. While not everyone knew of my part in the play, the only ones who said anything were the ones that did. To the rest of the students I was just another classmate. I even had a senior boy that I did not know make an extra effort to hold a door for me. I was finding this almost too easy.
When I crossed paths with Monica just before lunch she was genuinely happy to see me. I actually felt she cared when she asked how things were going today. She had obviously tried to look a little more butch than before. She had on some of her brothers work style boots and a checkered shirt. Even with the changes she still looked like a girl. There was no mistaking her chest and even with her hair pulled back her face looked female. For the first time since we received our lead roles, I was the one pushing the gender bender line further.
My last period was drama class and Mr. Jackson seemed pleased with my appearance. We didn't talk about the changes, but he did say at the end of class that he had spoken with my mother again today and that both of them were on the same page. As I was leaving the studio after the bell, he said he looked forward to seeing even more of Mia. I had not mentioned that name to anyone, so it had to have come from my mother or Monica.
Instead of taking the bus as I typically did, my mother was waiting for me as we had agreed.
"So how was your day sweetheart?"
"It went better than I thought. Most of the grief was good natured. To tell you the truth, outside of my friends and some of the theater crowd, nobody really cared."
"More importantly, how did you feel?"
"After the initial fear, I guess it wasn't much of a deal. The strangest problem I encountered was that after a while, the sweater kind of tickled."
"That's probably because you had nothing on underneath. I should have at least had you wear a cami."
"A what?"
"Don't worry, you will learn."
So now what? Head to Target and grab a couple of things?"
"That is so cute. You are now a teenage girl that has absolutely nothing. Actually, you have less than nothing. You don't even own one bra. We can add things as we go along, but we have to start with the basics. After that, we can have fun and develop your personal look."
"Whatever, I just wish I was invisible."
"Just follow my lead and don't make faces or resist. Remember how easy it was at school. If you just go along like it is no big deal, it will go faster, easier and will be more fun."
"Fun! We'll see."
We pulled into a parking space in front of shop called Schwartz Intimate Apparel.
"The first thing we need is to get you properly fitted for your first bras. My friend Sally is expecting us and she will measure you and help us give you some shape."
I didn't want to get out of the car, but I knew I had no choice. I looked around to make sure I didn't recognize anyone and then quickly shuffled inside. I had never been inside a store like this. I had a few times walked through the lingerie department at Macy's at the mall out of curiosity, but never had I been inside a shop that exclusively sold that type of product. It was not a place a boy usually ventured.
Inside it did not take long for my mother to find Sally.
"So you must be our new actress. Your mother told me about your desired plans and special needs. I am sure we can find you some very pretty things to help you look and feel like all the other girls.
I wanted to shrink out of sight..
"Thank you Sally, but can we do this in back?"
"Don't be shy; you are not going to see any boys here."
What little remaining male ego I possessed, had taken a fatal beat-down.
"Fine. Mom lets pick out what I need so we can move on."
To my relief, I was ushered into the changing room.
"Strip down to your panties so I can measure you."
I took off everything but my Jockeys.
"That is not going to do. If you want to look appropriate we need to flatten you out down there."
I did not like the sound of that. A few moments later Sally had a tape measure on my hips, chest and stomach. She even measured my modest 5"7' height.
"You have a nice thin frame that with the right padding will look wonderful. First we need to give you some panties that will hold your boy-thing out of sight. Change into these and tuck yourself under before you pull them all the way up. These are tight enough that they should hold it out of the way."
As I complied, I tried to just think I was home alone in my room. It was uncomfortable to position myself like that but the stretchy, off white panty did the trick. To my dismay my manhood was now hidden. I could hear Sally talking with my mother about additional panties. She even referenced some padded briefs that would add some curves which would enhance my shape depending on what I wore over them.
I could see that my mother was not in the least distressed that her son was being fitted for girl’s lingerie. There was even some delight as she handed me a matching satin bra.
"Mia dear, slip this on."
I slid it over my shoulders, but had trouble trying to close it in the back. Sally helped me secure it and mentioned that she also had front closing bras which might be easier for me at first. I tried not to think about getting used to this.
"Mom, I didn't bring any extra socks to fill the empty cups."
Almost on cue, Sally slipped two jelly filled forms into the empty cups. I could feel the weight pulling on the straps. Everything was holding and I was sporting a healthy looking pair of breasts.
"These are so big."
"Mia, it's ok that I call you that."
"Yes, it's fine. As I was..."
"Mia, your mother thought you should have proportional breasts for a girl your age and size. Remember you are going to be an actress on stage. The forms are a full "B" cup. but despite your thin frame you have a little baby fat on your boy boobs, so with these you are nearly a "C" cup. Probably a "B", but with a pushup bra, it will look like a full "C"."
"Honey, your first bra. I know this probably feels strange, but for a girl this is a big deal. I never thought I would have the opportunity to go shopping for bras with you, so just try and be a little excited."
I didn't have my mother’s enthusiasm, but I could tell it was a special moment for her so I tried not to ruin it. Over the next 15 minutes I tried on about a half dozen other styles along with a very restricting garment that my mother called a cinch.
Finally, I heard them both agree that I had enough items for the time being.
"Can I take this off now that we are done?"
"Honey, let Sally clip the tags off that one so you can wear it."
"Is that really necessary?"
"Mia, what did we talk about? You are going to need some shape to select your new clothes."
I hoped that the sweater would hide my new cleavage, but it did the opposite. The sweater now hugged my new curves and gave me an unambiguous female body.
We left there with a two full bags of items. I knew I was going to being wearing these more than just on a rare occasion. I was much more conscious of what I was wearing than I had been earlier. Previously, the sweater and carefully arranged hair might possibly be construed as androgynous, but now that I was sporting a healthy cleavage the image belonged to a girl.
When we pulled into the parking lot at the local indoor mall called Northbrook Court, I was the recipient of a short lecture from my mother.
"Mia, we are going to make a few stops and the only way this is going to work is if you start showing some of your acting skills. From the moment we get out of the car, you need to be my daughter. Even with only these minor changes you are looking very feminine, no one will suspect that you are anything but teenage girl. That is unless you give them reason too. Just follow my lead and I will try and give you some tips and instruction along the way. If you don't have an answer to a question, just look to me and I will help."
"I know I agreed to do this, but it just now feels so hard core. It's almost like I switched teams and the acting opportunity is an excuse."
"That's understandable, but immersing yourself all the way will allow you to become much more comfortable that if you reflected neither boy or girl. You have always enjoyed acting, so if you just allow yourself to try, it might turn out to be an illuminating experience. You will learn everything about girls, and one way or another that should help you down the road."
"Ok where to?"
We made our way to the MAC cosmetic counter at Macy's. When we departed there about 45 minutes later, I had a makeover that was typical of a girl a couple of years older than me. My eyes looked like saucers with a slightly smoky hint, my cheeks looked higher with what my cosmetologist called contouring and my lips were a deep pink. I suspected that our salesgirl knew I was a boy because of my utter cluelessness, but she never directly said anything. I left there with all the makeup any girl would ever need, including a makeup bag. I didn't see the total cost, but I knew from holding a few items that each item was very expensive. My mother did not seem to care.
We were not finished at Macy's. Next was the clothing department. Once there I tried on garment after garment. I rarely left the woman's changing area after we had piled up more than a dozen different items. In the changing room I tried on dresses, slacks, leg hugging jeans, and an assortment mix and match separates. At first, I tried to relax and enjoy modeling the clothes. I actually thought I looked pretty nice in many of the styles. However, after a while the constant flow of clothes began to get tiring.
When we checked out, the sales girl gave me smile and mentioned how lucky I was to be getting so much fabulous new clothes. We spent so much that they made my mother show her driver's license to verify that this was her credit card. In addition to a majority of the clothes I modeled, I found that my mother had added to our purchases various tights, socks and belts.
My mother had me run our current haul of clothes and cosmetics to the car. I thought we had acquired so much more than I could possibly use, but she said we still need a few odds and ends. When I returned from the car she had made one additional purchase. She had me put my small wallet and the few items in my pockets into a NineWest cross-body purse.
As we entered the atrium at the mall my mother looked in my direction and said "Shoes"
"Ok where?"
"They have shoes here, but I like the shoe department better at Lord & Taylor. Not today, but maybe another day we can go to Shoe Carnival or one of the other discount shoe warehouses. First, while we are here I want you to select a few quality pairs and we can add some inexpensive fun ones later on the cheap. You need some basics and I tam sure we can get that covered at the mall.”
As we headed through the mall my eyes drifted back and forth scanning the shoppers for people I knew. It wouldn't be long before I would be on display for friends at school, but I still had not overcome all of my anxiety. About halfway from Macy's to our stated destination, my mother spotted something that caught her eyes.
"Let's make a quick detour."
She led me into Clare stores. It was a store she certainly did not frequent, but she was obviously familiar with their products and services. Once inside she wasted no time chatting with the girl at the counter. The young lady then pulled out three boxes.
"These will suffice for now."
When I saw what she was looking at, I quickly realized what she was shopping for.
"Mom, you can't be serious. This is not makeup. This is permanent!"
"Mia, first off if you decide to stop wearing them, the holes will close naturally. It's not like you would be the only boy at your school to have pierced ears."
"But Mom, it's usually only one ear."
"Under your beautiful hair it's hardly going to be noticeable. Let's not quibble over this. Your ears are hardly going to be a noticeable change at this point."
She was right, but her matter-of-factness was what I found distressing. Her eagerness to make me so completely girlish had graduated from cooperation to total transformation.
Snap snap and I was now the owner of gold studs in both ears. In addition to paying for them, we left with a pair of hoops and a silver pair that looked a little like a hanging chandelier.
We finally made our way to the shoe department. Once there I got an education on the endless styles available and what you would wear them with. I tried on heels, flats,. dress shoes with and without straps and various boot styles. It was very challenging for me to walk even a few steps in some of the higher heels. Ultimately, I left with two pairs of high boots, one ankle length pair and two pairs of casual shoes one with no heal and the other only a modest heel. I also ended up with a dressy set that would obviously not be for school. I ended up wearing the ankle boots out of the store. The clerk said they were perfect for jeans or tights. The new shoes adjusted my posture and pretty much finished off my remade image. Even if I wanted to, there was no pretending that I was anything other than a girl shopping at the mall. Looking back, I believe it was at that point that I consciously tried to act more feminine. My appearance was so altered that I saw no point in trying to hold on to my masculine pride. It was just easier for to me to re-enforce the image that people would see. I think my mother sensed when I abandoned my reluctance.
The afternoon had shifted into evening and we were both getting tired. Even though we were ready to leave, we ended up at the upscale Bistro attached to the center. I was so hungry and had all but given up fretting about bumping into friends. I did see some people at the restaurant that I knew, but they were not close acquaintances and I don't think they recognized me.
When we got home it took it took three trips to get everything into the house and up into my room. While I had been at school my mother had reorganized much of my clothing and rearranged my room. The top two drawers in my dresser were now completely empty and a majority of my closet was empty. All of the displaced clothing was either in the guest room or in bags for Goodwill. My mother insisted that I was long overdue for cleaning out my old things and getting rid of things I had outgrown or did not wear.
Later, as I began the ritual of removing my makeup my mother informed me of my 10:00 appointment in the morning. I was set to see my mother's stylist named LuLu. She owned a chic salon in downtown Highland Park and had cut my mom's hair for the past few years. I was hoping for a relaxing day before my scheduled dinner with my father. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I did complain about her just dropping that on me. For the first time since this began my mother apologized for doing something without telling me. She said that not telling me earlier was an oversight and said she would try not to do that again.
As I readied for bed I was grateful that I would have at least a short break from my immersion in femininity. My relief was quickly dashed as my mother handed me a pink pajama set. It included tap pants and a matching camisole. There was little doubt that she intended me to maintain some degree of femininity 24/7 until the show was over. This was apparently going to continue as part of my routine for months.
I slept until I was roused by mother shortly after 9:00. "Get up sleepy head, time for your appointments."
The plural appointments did not go un-noticed by me. "More than one?"
"Not really, just beauty things at the Salon. It is really just one."
"I am afraid to ask, but what should I wear?"
"It's on your dresser. It will be much easier if you have a skirt."
I wasn't sure why a skirt would matter, but I knew she wanted me dressed as Mia. It would be my first venture out during the day in a skirt, but it wasn't as if it made much of a difference at this point.
"Don't worry about your hair; they will be washing it before they trim it."
I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth before working my way to the dainty outfit that awaited me. I tucked myself under then slipped on 'my' panties and bra before positioning the breast-forms in place. Even with my hair in a mess, I was transfixed with my female shape. It was a cross between fascination and infatuation. I knew I was doing this for a purpose, but the the new self image was oddly not repulsive.
When I regained my composure I put on the black ruffled skirt and the maroon blouse. The blouse had a low neckline and draped down from my breast-line. The sleeves were three-quarter length and had a silver trim much like the collar. In front of the combo on the chair were my new low heeled black boots. Also laid out was a thin silver necklace and a matching bracelet. When I was completely dressed I resembled from the neck down, one of the cute stylish girls from school. How quickly I had changed.
In the kitchen my mother gave me an approving glance and a fruit smoothie from the Vitamix blender on the counter. After downing my healthy drink she brushed out my hair and frosted my lips with a little color.
"Time to go, Mia. Wear this coat, until we get you something better."
It was not the first time that LuLu had cut my hair. I had gone to her the last two times I needed a trim. I had been keeping my hair long for the past two years and barbers basically gave me a hard time. LuLu never suggested I lop it off and she even gave me suggestions to take better care of long hair. She had never done anything extensive other than trimming the ends, but I liked visiting her over a barber. This time I was entering her lair dressed more like her typical client.
"My my, look at you. You look darling. I certainly agree with your school directors that it would be a waste to cast you in a boy role."
"Hi LuLu. Nice to see you too. So Mom has filled you in?"
"Yes, she says you are going to be a girl for a while and then in a play. What a wonderful experience for you."
"I landed the lead role and everyone tells me I need to do this to be ready. I'm not so sure, but as you can see, I am trying."
"You are doing the right thing. By the time the play comes around I am sure you will be great. By then it will all seem second natured and like most good actors or actresses it nothing will feel forced."
"We'll see, that's along time off."
"More time for the changes to grow on you. Your mother is so proud of you."
"She's certainly has been good with this and her enthusiasm has been a bit overwhelming."
"Maybe, but you know when you previously decided to come here to get your hair trims your mom and I did discuss giving it a little stylish pizazz. We agreed that we would not do anything unless you were on board or requested it. Now’s the time we can have a little fun."
"Nothing crazy. I am still a boy underneath and need to be able to go back to that."
"I will not give you anything drastic unless you need something specific for the show. For now, I will give you a flexible classic look."
"Good, I trust you, it is just this is all happening so fast."
"Relax, first we wash your hair."
LuLu had never washed my hair before. The washing and scalp massage felt nice. I closed my eyes and just drifted away. I woke up when I smelled something odd. LuLu had already cut my hair and now she was treating it.
"What's that smell?"
I am lightening your color a little and giving you some highlights. Nothing extreme, just giving it a little more life. I also added some very strong conditioner to give you some extra body."
"I thought you were not going to do much."
"All I did was even off your length. It is slightly longer going from the back to front with a part just off-center on the right of your forehead. I didn't add curls or any striking cuts, just an modified pageboy. If you really have to, you can still put it in a ponytail. There are some cute pullback looks you can do, but your old ponytail is still an option."
"I can feel that my hair is still damp."
"It is going to take a while for your hair to dry and then I will give it a final brush out. Let me clean up your eyes before you hit the next station."
"Say what?"
I thought she was going to pluck a couple of hairs, but instead she rubbed some goop on my brows and then yanked. The pain from the eyebrow waxing was worse than from when my ears were pierced. Even after that painful act she still needed to clean them up with a tweezer. I was afraid to see what little I had left. LuLu had turned the mirror so that I could not get a good look at myself. She wanted to give me the full effect when she was done.
From there I was taken into the back room to experience the same indignity on my legs. I had hardly begun the male puberty experience of body hair. I still did not shave (I did it a couple of time even though there was no need) and the only real peach fuzz was on my legs. There wasn't even much there, and my chest and arms still looked more like a baby than a teen boy. A few minutes later I had red legs that were as smooth as silk.
LuLu had a wicked smile as she retrieved me from the waxing room. "That is one of the least fun aspects of your new gender. Your hair is still a little damp so we might as well get you started on your mani-pedi."
"Still more?"
"Hands can be a big giveaway if you are trying to pass. Fortunately, you have small hands and feet, but they need a little gloss to look the part."
"No Color please. There are times like gym class where I will need to be a guy and colored nails will not do."
"I am sure that at this point color will not be an issue, but the plan it just to put a tinted clear on them . They are too short now for anything fancy, so we are just going to clean them up, re-shape them and put on a protective hard coat."
"Thank you."
Lulu’s idea of clear was different than mine. When Sasha was done with my hands and feet, I was now the owner of light pink nails. They were clear, but there was no hiding the fact that they had a pink tint. I had to hold my hands in a very careful and feminine way to make certain that they dried properly. It was at about this time that my mother returned to check on me.
As I sat back into the stylist chair my mother entered her work space. She hesitated about saying anything as LuLu began brushing out my hair. I could see the growing grin on her face.
"Well Mrs. Adams, what do you think of your lovely daughter now?"
"She looks adorable. I am just stunned by how absolutely perfect she looks now. There is no way that anyone would think she is anything but a lovely girl. It all looks so natural and she is not even wearing any makeup."
"That's a very good idea. Our treat. I am going to have Roxanne put just a little touch up color on Mia. Nothing much, but something appropriate for a girl her age."
"LuLu, that is very nice of you. One of the things I need to teach Mia is how to apply her own makeup. I shouldn't expect too much all at once. She has come so far over the last few days and she has her whole life in front of her."
I was getting nervous listening to my mom and LuLu chat like all of this was normal and that the changes were for the better.
"Alright you two, let's finish up. I have been here all morning."
With that, Roxanne came over to our station and did a little of her handiwork. She did not add as much as I had received at the MAC counter yesterday, but enough to enhance my eyes and bring out some rosy glow. Finally, I was able to check out the finished look. I stood up and walked over to the full length mirror. I felt a lump in my throat.
"Holy Shit! That's me."
"You could practically be a model. I am so glad I had an opportunity to help you."
"Mom! This is surreal. How am I going to ever pass as Nate again. All I see is girl. My hair looks like it belongs on a cheerleader. I didn't really think the plan was to jump so quickly to a completely unambiguous female appearance. The idea was to express more and more of this gradually until the play. On Monday at school I don't see how that will be possible."
"Honey, don't you have to admit you look beautiful?"
"That's not the point. It doesn't matter what I think. My friends will think I have flipped."
'It does matter. The school thing is not going to be an issue as long as you like how you see yourself and are happy."
"How can you say that. They might even send me home if I show up looking like this."
"Nonsense honey. That has already been taken care of."
"How’s that?"
"Well dear, you and Monica or should I say Tony, are supposed to report to the school office about 30 minutes before classes Monday. The principal and Mr. Jackson have made special arrangements for both of you. Because of the play, you are both going to be treated as the opposite gender until this is over. Monica's parents have also agreed to letting her completely throw herself into this. The school will make some special arrangements for you to use the faculty bathroom and they have transferred you out of your gym class into the health and wellness class. Monica will be doing the same."
"More secrets!"
"The final arrangements and approvals were just finalized while you were having your spa morning. You should have no issues with this at school and your friends will know that you and Monica are doing this together."
"The school is allowing this? That's just crazy."
"I think it started with a conversation Monica had with Mr. Jackson. She talked about you two getting ready and what she had in mind. The conversation morphed into the plan for you both to go all in. Mr. Jackson sold the idea to the principal as a way to promote the play. He knew it might create a bit of a stir, but he thought it would be mostly positive and not disruptive. The school said that the turnabout would end if it caused problems at school."
"Dad is going to flip out."
"Well I will talk to him this afternoon and later tonight you can talk to him and work out any lingering friction or doubt. He loves you and however he reacts you have to know that he wants the best for you."
"I just hate disappointing him."
"You have never disappointed him. You are different than him, but in mostly good ways. He has always been proud of you. He just has some old fashion stereotypes of guys and gals. Give him a chance, he might surprise you."
LuLu had drifted off to her next customer. We took care of our tab and went home. There was a special silent moment between my mother and I when we buckled up in the car. I did a little flip of my newly styled hair and simply said, "I will do my best."
I would be seeing my dad in a few hours and decided to get my homework done. Tomorrow, Monica and I planned to do our first actual rehearsal reading together. Before I made my way up to my room my mom sat down with me for a quick mother daughter conversation.
"We will make the best of the situation. You will have lots of new feelings and have so much to learn. At times, there will be awkward moments and you can always come to me for support or help. Having said that, from now forward I plan to treat you like you were my daughter. I have to show you things that girls your age already should know and will be coaching you on just about everything. There is so much more to a girl than makeup and clothes. Look at how you are sitting.”
"OK"
"Keep your legs together. It will get easier, but for a while my comments might be annoying. You have always been a quick study, so my guess is you will become a natural very quickly."
"Is there anything else? I am going to to some homework."
"I will help you get ready for dinner with your father later. Let's leave some extra time so you can practice putting on your own makeup."
----By Nina Adams
In Part 3, our young star has accepted his opportunity to become the lead actress in the school production. The role of a lifetime is gradually becoming the role for a lifetime. It is advisable to read the first two parts before reading the theatrical conclusion.
__
Chapter 6
I was able to finish up most of my work and checked out my Facebook account. The school theatrical turnabout challenge was already common knowledge. Monica had posted what was in store and I had a bunch of posts and messages on my profile. I was past denial or secrecy and informed the faithful that 'Mia' would be at school on Monday. One of my better friends suggested that I update my status. "Single-female"
The reference to female in conjunction with 'Single' made me squirm. I had not really thought about the social aspects of this. I was a loner and not been in any real dating relationships. I could not see how this was going to improve my odds or so I thought. The upside was that as a result of my new found status, I had a record number of friend requests. Probably over two-thirds of them were from girls at school. Most of them were students I hardly knew, but so as not to create any additional friction I accepted them all.
After my diversion on Facebook I told my mother I was ready to have my makeup lesson. She was happy that I came to her rather than the other way around. I received an explanation of each and every product and how it was supposed to be used. Some things were easier to do than others, but it was all a bunch of firsts. My mother explained that there were many different looks that would work and not just one appropriate combo . So long as I was not sloppy, I was likely to look fine. She said with my features less would be better than more. I had the most difficulty doing my eyes. The first couple of tries putting on eye liner and mascara looked comical. I got better, but I was not ready for prime time. After about an hour of playing around she had me wash everything off so that she could apply it for my first meeting with my father.
I wanted to wear casual, but she insisted that I wear a dress and look my best.
"You do not want for your father to see you as anything but convincing. He has to know that you are committed and that you can pull this off. He thinks girls should look like girls, so it would be a strike against you if you tried to look androgynous. When I spoke with him this afternoon he still had reservations and couldn't imagine you wanting this. I told him how important this was and that you would not back down. I think if he can visualize you as a pretty girl, he might see things differently. Please give him the benefit of doubt and cooperate with him as much as possible. Stand your ground, but try and be understanding. I am sure when he sees you he will come around."
For my dinner I wore the waist cinch for the first time which provided me some extra shape and over my foundation I wore a sleeveless Blue sheath dress that had a square neck. It was form fitting with a belted waist and showed off my artificial curves.. My mother insisted that I wear the strapped silhouettes, even though I still could barely walk in them. When I was finally dressed, she added a bracelet and replaced my studs with her tear drop sapphire earrings. A fresh coat of nail polish was added to my nails for effect.
As I stared at the finished product, I got a little weak in the knees. If I had been looking at some random girl, I would have classified the girl as a babe. There was no getting around that I looked like eye candy and no longer resembled the son my father had always known. I was certain to make an impression, albeit a shocking one.
This was me just before I met my father.
"Mom, how did this happen? I'm a girl!"
"And a pretty one at that. You obviously don't have experience looking like this, but you are going to be getting attention from the boys."
"You make it sound like I am not one."
"I am not sure how to respond to that, but just be careful."
It was time for Mom to drop me at Dad's condo. I wore a faux leather cropped jacket over my dress and took small steps to keep my balance as I headed to the car. I felt like a deer in the headlights during the short 10 minute drive to Dad's place. Once we were in the circle by his entrance, my Mom gave me a light peck on my cheek and told me everything would be OK.
I took a deep breath and headed to the doorman's post. I could barely breathe as I rode the fast elevator up to his unit. It wouldn't have taken much encouragement to get me to flee. I walked down his hall as gracefully as I could and knocked on his door.
The silence as he opened the door was deafening. I could see his eyes scanning my appearance for some point of reference.
"Dad, it's me."
"My God, you look like your mother when we met. Maybe just a little younger."
"It's still me."
"I never imagined. I should have been there more for you. This is my fault."
"DAD! This is nobody's fault. I made the choice to do this. With the play, I just couldn't pass up the opportunity."
"You just look so .... I don't know how to say it"
"Like a girl. I know."
"I didn't expect you to already look so convincing. I was still holding out that this was some sort of prank or joke."
"Is that what I am...A Joke!"
"No, that's not what I meant. I guess I was just not expecting you to be so completely feminine and girly."
"Well, Mom helped a lot and I wanted to look my best for you. I was hoping that if you saw me this way that you would get over it quicker. I didn't want to look halfway. I know you are a bit old fashioned about how men and woman should look."
"Well you definitely look like a woman."
"I will take that as a compliment."
"Nate, until I saw you, I was still thinking of trying to talk you out of this and convincing you to go back to the way you used to be. I now know, that this is not possible. Now that I see you this way, I am not sure that I could ever imagine things the way they were."
"I am still the same person underneath this dress and I will always love you. Try and understand I didn't choose this, but I needed to do it."
"I am not hateful and understand that today people can be whatever they want. Are you totally sure you want to go through with this? It's not an easy thing to reverse after setting things in motion. Once you get started you can't just flip a switch and expect things to be the way they were."
"Most of my friends already know about this and the play, so my plans are not a secret. Mom has already given her blessing. She even has done everything possible to speed things along."
" I suspect she wants me to do the same. since you made the ultimate decision to do this, I do understand that it's best if we are all on the same page."
"I would have been fine if Mom had just helped me get ready and assisted me here and there along the way, however, she has encouraged me to go full speed ahead. In fact, she only calls me Mia now."
"Where is that name from?"
"I sort of chose it after I realized that this was not going to be just a stage thing. I guess it makes sense. I don't look like a Nate right now."
"So this is what you really want? You are totally sure you want to be Mia?"
"I wouldn't be here like this if I still wasn't sure. I was very scared at first, but not really any more. I know it won't be easy, but in the end it will all be worth it. The school play is in just under 4 months and by then I want to be as perfect as I can be."
"That is not a lot of time. I am sure you will be great on stage, but don't expect that much in only four months."
"You are starting to sound like Mom. I will do my best."
"Trying to make changes so fast can be physically and psychologically very difficult. Are you totally sure that it is that important for you to make such a total statement by the time of the play? I understand that you want this, but in only 4 months."
"Dad, please. Just be there for me. I am fully committed. The play is important and if I make the right impression, it will give me confidence in myself and know anything is possible."
"You know this is hard for me and would be for any parent, but I will do everything to help you. Mom has her skills and I have mine and we will both make this complicated transition go as smoothly and quickly as possible."
"Dad, it is enough that you accept this."
"I guess I will have to start calling you Mia, too."
"Dad, you can call me whatever you like."
"Ok Mia. Give me a few minutes. I will be right back."
"Are we still going to dinner?"
"Yes, I just want to prepare a cocktail to get your show on the road."
"Thanks for accepting this."
My father was in his medical study which for nearly 10 minutes. I was beginning to wonder if he was having second thoughts about supporting my theater commitment. It's one thing for a father to watch his son play a girl's part on stage, but a whole other thing to see him wearing a dress in a restaurant or in public. I was astonished how supportive he turned out. He genuinely seem to want to help me achieve as complete a transformation by the time of the play as possible.
"What took you so long?"
"It's time for your Doctor father to give you your shots. I wanted to make sure I got the right combinations of doses."
"Do we have to do this now?"
"It is one of the advantages of having a Doctor for a father, especially one that understands your medical needs."
"Alright then, let's get it over with so we can go to dinner."
"I never had to say this before, but please pull your panties down and bend over."
I received two long injections in my butt. I received another one in my arm. I had no idea what inoculations I was due for. I never remembered getting three shots either."
"Dad, why so many shots. Is it flu season or something?"
No Mia, this is my gift to provide you a quick boost in your transition. I know that you will need to see a psychologist and endocrinologist, but you made it clear to me how important it is to get the ball moving. If you were anybody but my own child I would have made you wait, but if you want some changes by the play...time is of the essence."
"What are you talking about? Changes?"
"Mia, you can't go from being a boy to being a girl over night. There are steps along the road that need to be followed and it all takes time. Living full time and HRT usually follow together."
"What was that you injected me with?"
"I guess you could call it your girl cocktail. I could give you all the long Latin names but simply it is medication to help you with your desire to become a woman."
"I don't understand."
"You probably will learn a lot more about transitioning later but let me try and explain."
"Transitioning? I'm listening."
"You are very lucky that you have not gone through much of your puberty. Because of that your body should really benefit from the cocktail."
"Dad, you are loosing me. What did you give me?"
"The first shot was to effectively pause your body from any further male puberty. That should slow or stop you from growing hair where a woman would not want it. The dosage was pretty strong and your body should stop manufacturing much testosterone within a day or two. The second shot was a combination of hormones that will replace the testosterone with those of your desired gender. These will take more time, but you should notice some benefits before long. Initially it should help your skin and slowly provide some subtle other changes. You are likely to feel some emotional side-effects as well. The more significant changes will take some time and the need for follow up medication. Right now you are hormonally a girl."
"My God, what have you done? I am afraid to ask... what was the third shot?"
"That was just to help you with possible nausea. The dosages I gave you were very high because of your expressed rush and even at regular prescribed amounts people often experience some nausea for a few days. That shot should help to minimize the morning sickness."
"I can't believe you gave me that. Is this permanent?"
"Mia, I did it for you. I know how important this is for you to be a complete woman. You will need to keep taking meds for quite a long time to get the full and permanent benefits. You are on your way to hopefully a happier life for you. I am just glad I could be there to support you and help you mature into the beautiful young lady I know you want."
"I need to sit down."
"Are the medications making you faint?"
"I never expected to take any meds for this role. I just wanted to be the best actress possible for the show. That's all, this is way beyond comprehension."
"If you are going to be a girl you needed to go through with this. I don't want you caught somewhere in the middle and uncomfortable as one of those feminine guys that constantly has to battle through life. In time, no one will ever question your given birth-sex. There is a right way to do this and as your father and Doctor I am just trying to provide the best for you."
"Does mom know about what you did?"
"We talked a lot about your desire to go all in. I told her that if I ultimately agreed with your decision, that I would do everything in my power to help you. That is how we left it."
"This is just beyond my comprehension. I am going to have to talk with her about this. I know you meant well, but I am not sure we understand each other."
"We can talk more over dinner. I made reservations at your favorite Japanese restaurant in Evanston.”
"Dad, I have lost my appetite. Can you take me back home? I have a lot to think about and don't feel like eating anymore."
"Sure dear, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I really thought you would be more excited. I am not looking for a thank you, but I am having difficulty understanding why you are upset."
"Dad, I just need to be alone. I'll discuss it with you later. I just have to figure this all out. Can we go?"
"Sure."
I didn't say a word all the way home. All I could think about is what had just happened. My father had chemically neutered me and was turning me into an actual girl. In only a matter of a few days I had gone from being a invisible boy to a girl that was the center of attention and it wasn't a game. I know I had agreed to this crazy situation, but the stakes were beyond any scope imaginable. My dad and maybe my mom think that I want to be a girl forever. How did it get this far?
I was overwhelmed by the situation and pending implications. I started to question my own desires. I could have stopped this all before I got started or at least put my foot down a couple of times along the way. I had let them both send me on a journey and emotional path I was not fully prepared for. Did I subconsciously want this? The fact that I even asked myself that, made me shiver. I knew I had to figure this out very quickly or the problems could get much worse. A conversation with my mother was at the top of my list.
I am sure I looked visibly upset when I returned home long before I was expected. My mother had one of her closest friends over when I walked into the house. I was in no mood to meet anyone else, especially dressed as I was. Mrs. Goldsmith was a nice lady from down the block and I always appreciated her friendship. I could always call her whenever I was stuck somewhere and needed a ride and I had known her since I was little.
They both knew something was wrong so the chit-chat between us was very short. Mrs. Goldsmith said that my mother had just told her about what was going on at school and that I looked absolutely lovely. I thanked her and headed to my room. A few minutes later my mother came in to find me crying on my bed.
"What's wrong honey? Did Dad give you a hard time?"
I hugged her and then let the tears really flow. It took a long time to get my composure back to a point I could even speak. Eventually I tried to explain what had happened. I was so confused and upset that it took a long time for my mother to understand what had transpired. Her reaction convinced me that she did not know I was going to be put on a regimen of Hormone Replacement Therapy.
She really did not know what to say to me. We bonded for a long time, and she just kept saying everything would be OK and not to worry. I trusted her, but she did not have an answer for me. I felt better venting my emotions that had probably been building for a few days. Mom assured me that she would talk with my dad and figure out what to do. She also said she was very sorry if her enthusiasm for me being so completely convincing had been a big part of what caused my father to act so irrationally. I knew to some extent it had, but I was not really mad at her.
I was now completely spent so I got ready for bed early. I was out like a light.
I slept late and for a few early moments I woke up feeling calm. When I exited my bed I felt a wave of sickness. I dashed to the bathroom and threw up. I felt better after that and only had mild waves of nausea the rest of the day. I only had tea and some toast for breakfast to play it safe. I knew I would be seeing Monica in the early afternoon and wanted to feel better by then. I still had an uneasy feeling about my medical intervention last night which somehow made all of my other bizarre activities seem trivial.
I was a feeling like a mess shortly after I threw up.
After my quick breakfast my mother joined me for a little discussion. She clearly had something on her mind.
"Honey, I had a long difficult conversation with your father last night. It was the first time in a long time that things got a little heated between us. I told him that his actions last night were premature and if he was not your father his actions could easily be considered abuse. I also let him know that together we should all have discussed every aspects of medical intervention on you in prior to beginning. We always have done that in the past and this should not have been any different. It obviously might have avoided some of this necessary conversation we have to have now."
"Ok, so what can we do?"
"I wish there was a simple answer. Your father gave you very strong prescription medications. There is a reason that these are prescription. They are serious meds and have significant benefits along with potential risks. Your body has been given a sort of shock to the system and you may be feeling some of those effects. I am sure those are not good feelings right now."
"I threw up this morning."
"I am so sorry. Unfortunately, that is pretty normal. You probably know that women who get pregnant often throw up early in their pregnancy. Like your morning sickness, that is the result in the change in some of your hormonal levels. Your body has to rebalance and get adjusted. It passes, but may continue for a few days."
"Can't dad just give me something to reverse what he did?"
"It apparently is not that easy. The medicine needs time to work its way through your system. The combination of drugs has entered many of your organs and while they are generally safe, it would not be so, if we immediately shot your system up with a new set of changes. Most people never change their hormonal levels like this and they certainly never do it twice in a short period of time."
"So how long before this wears off?"
"Your father can probably explain it better, but we have to get you adjusted and stabilized on these hormones before we can consider shifting you back."
"What does that mean? I can't just take something to make it go away?"
"Not for a while. In fact, you will need to take some additional pills until your body adjusts and levels off. The worst of the morning sickness should go away quickly. Dad will give you blood tests each week for the next couple of months and determine when you are stable. For now you should continue taking follow-up boosters."
"This is serious! What's going to happen to me?"
"You will notice some changes, but because of your current situation I do not think anyone else will. The changes are dependent on your body. Some people only notice mild changes."
"And others?"
"Depends on puberty. The hormones are a lot like going through puberty. If the body is at the right point, it can be just like normal puberty, but for a girl."
"Like cramps?"
"Well sort of, but your body can also have some changes in weight distribution and maybe some other things. It's probable that you may notice the changes, but it is different for all girls."
"That is not re-assuring. So for now, not only am I going to be dressing like a girl, my body is going to be changing like one too."
"For now, yes. After I finally got it through to him that you had not declared that you wanted to change sex, he really did feel very bad. He is beside himself. Your Dad has a fairly narrow view of what guys and girls should be like, so he just assumed that since you planned to dress completely like a girl that you wanted to be a girl. He still doesn't get that you were just doing this temporarily, but he at least knows that he over-stepped the situation. He is going to have a hard time facing you because he feels so horrible."
"I get that, but now I have even more things to try and come to grips with."
"Honey, I wouldn't think about the meds. We will deal with that as time goes by. The good news is that it will probably help you get both physically and mentally adjusted to the stage part."
"That is a small consolation."
"Let's try and move forward OK. "
"Fine."
"Let's work on our makeup again..."
Chapter 7
We spent another hour plus working on makeup and other feminine skills. I still had plenty of room to hone my skills with the makeup, but I had improved quite dramatically. Part of my morning lesson was physical in nature. We worked on posture, walking, talking and subliminal behavior. Some of the skills sets were easy to learn and improve with practice. It was the subliminal behavioral education was the hardest . The little things likes a head tilt or proper use of eye contact were all things I never gave a thought to. As a girl, making eye contact with another person, especially males might be interpreted differently. I had a whole new set of interactive dynamics to learn.
It was time to head over to see Monica and actually rehearse some of the lines from the play. She was certain to be impressed or shocked by my makeover. She expected me to be completely girlish, but even she probably did not expect me to look so convincing down to the detail. If anyone I could talk about this with it was her, but I couldn't even tell her about the injections. The whole concept that I now had a new set of hormones flowing through my body was a subject I was not prepared to talk about. Maybe down the road or after this was all over, but for now the HRT was going to be a family secret.
I was wearing jeans with my ankle boots and a fitted ginger jersey top when I rang her door bell. When her mother answered the door she did not know it was me at first. My prominent bust-line clearly screamed woman, so it took her a few moments to put together that I was cross-dressing like her daughter. When the light in her head went off, she stumbled for her words.
"Now I see why Monica felt it was so important that she looked so boyish. I don't see one bit of a boy in front of me. I assume that you have been doing this long before the casting was made."
"No, Mrs. Collins. This is all new to me too. I think your daughter should get some of the credit for my changes. It was her passion for role play that led me down this transformative path. Without Monica, I would never have taken it this far."
"If you say so. You look very beautiful and quite natural.”
"Thank you. I am here to rehearse with your daughter."
"Yes, my 'NEW' son is waiting for you. You can go up to his room."
I was so focused on my own transformation that when I saw Monica I was not prepared for her new look. Monica had cut off most of her beautiful long hair. Her long dark hair was now cut in a boy's style which dramatically altered her appearance. With no makeup and her earrings removed she looked totally different. She was also wearing jeans, but on top was a One Republic t-shirt. The odd thing was that I could not observe her normally noticeable breast. She was pretty much flat on top. Every aspect of her look said I want to be a boy, but despite that she was still a girl. Her look was well done, but her facial features were still too pretty to get an observant person to mistake her for a boy. The fact that she was tall helped, but her appearance fell just short of being totally convincing.
Monica trying to look more like a boy
My obvious shock at her altered looks was a mutual emotion. Where as, I merely stared at Monica's makeover, she had to touch mine. She ran her hands through my highlighted and styled hair and ran her fingers over the studs in my ears. I was sure she was going to grab my new found cleavage, but instead she just chose to comment on them.
"You grew a pair of beautiful breasts. They totally look perfect on you. You are now a Babe."
"Uh thanks, Monica, my family went a little overboard in getting me ready for this thing."
"No way, starting tomorrow you are the new girl at school. You certainly will look the part."
"You too. I can't believe you cut your hair that short. It must have taken you forever to grow it so long. I don't see your breasts anymore either. I am sure nobody will ever question your commitment."
"When this is over I can always get extensions and at the moment I have my breasts sort of tied down. The breast thing is a little uncomfortable, but tomorrow we are going to have the school buzzing"
"I can hardly wait."
"Cut the sarcasm. You are going to be Ms. Popular. Not only will you be the respected center of attention, you are probably going to drive some of the guys crazy."
"Like I said, I can hardly wait."
"I will pick you up in the morning for the before school conference with the principal. It's kind of funny, but I hardly look anything like my driver's license photo anymore. I wish I could get one with the name Tony. You turn 16 soon. At least yours picture will look like you, even if the name doesn't match the image."
"Next month is going to be my birthday and I plan to get my license. I hope this school stuff does not cause me a problem. I really want to get my license."
"Mia, let's rehearse."
"Ok, Tony."
We read lines and chit-chatted for the rest of the afternoon. Monica's was surely the dominant personality in our new friendship. I took on the meeker personality and she was clearly much more gregarious. Some of the dynamics were the result of our newfound gender roles, but it was also part of who we always were. Spending the time being around her strong personality allowed me to slip even further into my feminine and more submissive character.
The acting was coming much more naturally as a result of the changes. Lines which only a few days ago I could not have said with a straight face, flowed with believable realism. I had work to do, but there was no longer any doubt in Monica's mind or even mine, that I could be successful playing the female lead.
I went home for dinner and to finish a small amount of remaining homework. I tried not to think too much about what lied ahead, but knew Monday would be a day I would never forget.
Chapter 8
The morning sickness from the HRT was still with me, but not as bad as yesterday. It was a reminder that my body was going through internal changes in addition to the exterior rearrangements.
I wore a tunic styled dress with a wide belt, along tights and the pair of new MaryJane low heeled shoes. I had goosebumps as I shuffled into Monica's car. I could feel the cool air flowing under my flimsy soft dress and couldn't stop myself from continually flipping my loose new hairstyle. I did not go overboard on makeup, but there were obvious small touches. I knew I looked respectable, but I still had a high degree of uneasiness.
We entered the school before most students had arrived so we went pretty much unnoticed. Once inside the school office we met the receptionist and told her we had a meeting with the principal. She looked us over and smiled at us before walking into the principal's chamber. About a minute later we were waved into his office. Principal Johnson leaned forward in his chair as if to take a closer look with his disbelieving eyes.
"It took a lot of convincing from your theater director Mr. Jackson for me to approve this. It is obvious you two have taken this very seriously. Even more so than I had anticipated. I was not sure this was a good idea and still have reservations. Are you two certain that you want to go through with this? At minimum, you will receive some teasing from the student body. I can not condone that, but I also know it will be impossible to avoid some of it."
Monica spoke first, but tried to speak for both of us. "We have given this great thought and are completely committed to acting as the students you see in front of you."
"Does that go for you too, Nate."
"Yes, Mr. Johnson"
"This is something we have never had or done here at the school and if it causes any problems I am prepared to put a halt to it immediately. I expect you both to act appropriately and not disrupt other students. You are not celebrities and with a minimum of necessary special privileges, I expect you to act and behave as your chosen gender. Are we understood?"
We both nodded before Monica added that we would like to be referred to as Tony and Mia.
"Well, I guess that makes sense under the circumstances. I will have Ms. Jones take new pictures of each of you and provide you with new school IDs."
"Is that it Principal Johnson?"
"I will be monitoring this closely, but if you have problems or concerns, please come to me before it gets out of hand. On this sheet of paper are your modified schedules and a few phone numbers and special rules for you to abide by. Additionally, neither of you can participate in extracurricular sports for obvious reasons. You are dismissed."
We went to Ms. Jones and got our new photos taken and received our new IDs. She made us turn in our old ones. Without a driver's license this was my only picture ID, so I was even further into my deepening womanhood. Once in the hall Tony and I said our temporary goodbyes and agreed to meet after school to see how it went. I slowly made my way to my locker. Along the way I went without notice.
On my locker was a note that said welcome to Deerfield High School Mia. It was there that some of the students from theater were waiting for me. I received some wolf whistles and some applause. The attention served only to bring on more attention. Before I could make it to first period I had dozens of eyes and students checking me out.
Inside the physics lab I continued to draw a crowd until Mrs. Spector settled everyone down.
"Well Mia, you are obviously quite a sight young lady. I expect that today's distraction will not be repeated each day. Good luck with settling into your new lifestyle."
"Thank you and I will try and keep this out of the classroom."
As the day moved along, I went through multiple similar experiences and by day’s end the repeated scenes hardly fazed me. It was not all silky smooth, however, I did get a few intended insults from some students. I got called weirdo, faggot, sissy and she-male from various classmates, but fortunately it was not from anyone that I cared about. For the most part, other students thought it was kind of neat to be around me. I also had some social chats with some girls that I could never have gotten attention from. Everybody knew it was because of the school play, but the gender bending just seemed so anti-establishment and went over successfully.
When I saw Tony late in the day, he related similar but less intense experiences. Monica had always been part of the popular group so it was not quite as dramatic an increase in attention for Tony. As the final bell sounded it hit me that we had survived the day without any major incidents. The student formerly known as Nate had quickly disappeared in the glow of Mia. Now I was basically a popular girl instead of an invisible boy and I kind of enjoyed it.
That first day at school pretty much ended squeezed the last of my reluctance out of this adventure. I think my mother sensed the changes when we were home later. She even gave me a copy of Elle and InStyle magazines and told me I should keep up with trends. Later before bed she handed me two containers of pills and told me that I should take one of each before bed. She reminded me that for now, my body needed to adjust to the recent hormonal changes and that the pills would help with that. Whereas on Saturday the revelation that my father had put me on a strong program of Hormone Replacement therapy was a shock, the followup pills I took in stride. I took two as if it was my daily vitamin. In a strange way they were.
Each day at school the spectacle of our cross dressing became less of an issue and more routine. Between the constant motherly coaching and daily reinforcement I no longer had to think about being feminine, it was flowing naturally. The only new sensation was that I could feel my breasts becoming more sensitive. I was going to have to ask my Dad about that over the weekend. We had not directly spoken since the injections, but I had not been avoiding him. I know he felt bad about his sexual assumptions and I also thought it would be harder for him than me the next time we met or spoke.
On Sunday, my mother and I joined him for brunch at the Four Seasons. After some awkward first few words we settled into an enjoyable family get together. It was not often that we all ate together, but because of the unusual family dynamics that we were adjusting to, we thought it would be a nice time for us all to be together.
"Dad, I don't know if this is the right place to be asking this, but I have been having odd side-effects to the drugs."
"Like what, Mia?"
"Well of course I have had nausea, but that is almost gone. The last few days I have had tenderness on my chest and also some periods of feeling hot. Is this my body rejecting the drugs?
"Well, it is actually more the opposite. The hormones are beginning to take hold. Much of their impact may go unnoticed as they happen slowly. The fact that you feel those things means they are doing their job."
"The tenderness makes me more aware that I have breasts, even if they are fake."
"It could take months or even years to get all of the effects of the medication, but if you stay the course long enough, they will not be fake."
"How big would they become?" I squeamishly asked.
"It usually depends on family genetics. Your mother is very, how should I say, full there, so I suspect you would become well endowed as well."
I couldn't help but make a silly face when he said that. "That wouldn't happen for a long time, right?"
"It not like they grow over night. Your body is kind of going through puberty. Some girls change faster or slower than others. You might see a little more change than most girls because your body is doing some catchup with the boost of estrogen in your system and the anti-androgen. We will monitor your hormonal levels and I will let you know when they plateau. At that point you can decide whether to continue."
I was going to say no way, but even I had some doubts about what I wanted. I just kept my mouth shut on that comment, which in itself was probably an informal acknowledgment that I might consider that option.
It was hard to talk about other subjects like school without my dressing getting into the mix. We all made an effort not to make the conversation too heavy or ruin our rare group get together. Before my mother and I got into the car at the valet station had, my father gave me a tender hug and light tap of a kiss on my forehead. It felt genuine and it was something he would never have done with Nate.
There was not a lot of talking in the car, but mom made the point of saying, "Your father seems to be adjusting to his new daughter."
Chapter 9:
It wasn't until the fourth week of living completely as Mia that the official rehearsals were to begin. By this time all of the novelty of being the boy in dresses had passed. I think the perception of most of my classmates was that I was now one of the girls. There was still some popularity boost I was receiving, but a lot of that was because of all the new friends I had added. Between the kids at school and friends that heard about me on Facebook, I had a very visible presence. I had even been included in some of the group study gatherings of my new female friends. While they did use me for some good natured humor, for the most part I was treated as another girl. I certainly was no male threat to their social group.
It was quite a twist, but Monica used to spend a lot of time in these study groups, but lately had not been joining us. She was still good friends with the clan, but she was becoming more independent. When the group talked about boys they never gave a thought to consider myself as one of them.
It was near the end of the fourth week that one of the guys in the theater group asked me if I wanted to go to see the new movie 'Catching Fire' on Saturday. Just about everyone wanted to see the second 'Hunger Game installment, so I really didn't think much about his request. I was quick to say sure. He got pretty excited and said he would pick me up at 7:00.
When I mentioned to my Mom about my plans for Saturday she looked directly into my eyes and asked, “Do you think you are ready to date?”
Her matter of fact comment surprised me. “It’s just a movie.”
“Have you ever done anything with this boy before?”
“No, but I know him from theater.”
“Honey, who asked who?”
“Well he did, but…”
“It’s definitely a date Mia. If that’s what you want, then there is nothing wrong with it.”
“Mom, I know this has gone way overboard, but I am not gay.”
“I never said you were. I don’t think anyone who saw you would think it was a gay thing, not that anything is wrong with that either.”
“What are you saying? I should go out with a boy on a date?”
“I am not saying that, but you seem very happy since you began your journey and you might enjoy being treated as a girl by a boy. Is he cute?”
“MOM! Come on, he’s nice and all that, but… I guess he’s OK looking.”
“I am sure you will have a good time. I don’t know if it is the meds or just how you are adjusting, but I have noticed you have more of a glow recently. I suspect that I am not the only one that has noticed that. ”
“I don't know about that, but at least I no longer get nauseas in the mornings. That is a happy change. The only thing I am aware of, is that I am swelling a little around where I was previously just tender. In one breath that scares me, but in another it almost feels re-assuring.”
“The rest of your body also seems to be noticeably changing too. As long as you are mentally OK with this, we will deal with it as we go.”
On Friday at school we got called into the principals office during the health our wellness class. Neither Tony or I had any idea what was up, since we did not have any planned meeting scheduled.
Tony and I looked at each other like something was seriously wrong.
"I have received a call from a group of parents that think this masquerade is inappropriate for the school and sending a bad message to other students. They have threatened to take legal action if I don't put a stop to this."
I was first to bark, "We are not hurting anyone."
"I don't think you are either, but it puts the administration in an awkward position."
"Tony chimed in, "There is nothing illegal about students dressing in the opposite genders. Other schools have students that do that."
"Well Monica, that is true and it is false. The district follows similar protocols as most school systems when it comes to students dressing in the opposite gender. There are policies and rules to follow, but they are designed for transgendered students. We can make accommodations, but they were not meant to be for theater programs. The truth is, the parents are not focused on you Monica, and they just don't think a boy should be dressing as a girl. A majority of girls push the style gender lines, but the real problem lies with our Mia."
Again I got testy, "That's not fair!"
"Of course it is not, but the school is not in a position to defend itself in court. We would probably lose anyway. We have to follow our own rules, I am really sorry. I wish you could continue, but rules are rules."
"I still don't get it. I follow all the rules and am not hurting anyone. What would I have to do differently to appease those idiots?"
"Calm down, Mia. It is not so much the school rules which you have shown that you follow. The ability to cross dress at school is limited to students classified as transgendered. You have to have a psychologist's recommendation and be under his or her's ongoing care."
"So I could continue if I got a doctor’s recommendation?"
"Yes, but only if they said you were transgendered. That is a big reach from dressing to learn a theater part. That is a label we take seriously and you should too."
"But it is possible?"
"It would go on your permanent record at school. I would not approve it unless I believe you were serious. I am sorry, but the rules are there for a reason."
"Who is responsible for this complaint?"
"That is not important. There were three families that brought this to my attention together. If there was any other way, I would back you."
Monica was not happy, but nowhere near as dejected as me. As I heard the principal telling me I could not continue to dress like this, I came to the realization that I did not want it to end.
Monica commented, "So that's it, you are telling us it's over, now what?"
I want you both to go home later and talk to your parents about this and have them give me a call if they want to talk to me. I want you both to return to my office before school Monday so we can follow up. Monica, I expect you will tone down your fashion selections a little and Mia, I am afraid you will have to return to being Nate. We will get you new student IDs again at that time."
I was in near tears as I left his office. I was so upset that I asked to stay in the nurse’s station for a while to regain my composure. The nurse called my mother as part of her protocol. After sitting there in a depressed state for nearly a half hour, my mother walked into the sitting area. When I saw her, the tears began to flow anew.
I left school with my mother without returning to any classes. In the car I related the conversation and the ultimatum made by the Principal. It was not anything he had done, but rather I was not emotionally prepared to be returning to being Nate. I had become so accustomed to my new identity that changing back felt unthinkable.
It was in this discussion that I put to words what had become almost obvious; I wanted to remain as Mia. This experience had transcended a learning opportunity for a play, it was now a role of a lifetime. In the process of preparing myself I had found self discovery. I now knew that this lifestyle was what I wanted and no matter what it took, I did not ever want to go back to being Nate.
I had been led down this path by the strong hand of others, but the journey now belonged to me. I still was learning what it is to be a woman, but I had never felt so comfortable in my skin as I had these past few weeks. The physical changes were visibly emerging and I welcomed them.
My mother and father along with an initial assist from Monica had put me in the fast lane along the transgender highway. Only now, as if to pass the responsibility, did my mother ask me if this was absolutely what I wanted. I had emotionally become her daughter and now the physical changes were beginning to catch up, but this is when she asked me to tell her definitively that I wanted to be a girl. The timing always seemed strange when Ilooked back at it. She seemed almost relieved as I stated what she probably knew for a long time. "Yes mother, I want to be a girl."
"Well honey, I have been waiting to hear you say that. You know we will support you and help you grow into the lovely lady that was your apparent destiny. There will be many steps and it will all take time, but you should eventually have almost no limitations in your future. I am sure that someday after you get married you can make me a Grandma by adopting. I just want you to be happy.
My father was equally unsurprised by my pronouncement. In fact he had already lined up specialists to take on my case as soon as I had committed. As a Senior Doctor on staff at Evanston Hospital he knew the best specialists and was able to handle my unusual head start with discretion. It only took a quick phone call and I had a letter from a psychologist to inform the school that I was transgendered and under psychological counseling.
My roller-coaster of emotions had bottomed out and was back on an upswing. I was no longer pretending anything, I was Mia. As it turned out, the first student to learn of my intended path was Josh on Saturday night. My mother was correct and Josh looked at our movie night as a date. After the movie when I told him that I planned to stay as Mia, his reaction was not that different than my father's.
Out with Josh on my first date
"I kind of figured. No one can look and act as girlish as you, if they were really a boy. I know it was probably a little crazy for me to ask you out and all, but whenever I saw you, I couldn't help but excited. You are one of the cutest girls in the school."
His comment caught me a little off guard and at a loss for immediate words. Instead of just thanking him for his sweet statement, I gave him a quick peck on his cheek.
I think he took that as a go sign and he returned my gesture with a full kiss on the lips. I didn't have much kissing history to compare it with, but I was pretty sure I liked it. Before he dropped me back off at home, we had repeated that activity a few times, with each kiss lasting a little longer that the previous one. I know doubt was feeling and reacting like the girl Josh saw me as.
I had discovered that Josh and I were more than friends
The next three months prior to opening night of the play, I went through some significant physical changes. I had developed sufficiently that I no longer wore the breast inserts. My mother bought me some padded bras with smaller cup sizes, which made me feel much more comfortable. I did wear inserts for the play as my character was written for a physically more mature woman than I had attained in only a few months. The significant growth I had already experienced left little doubt that I had some of my mother genes in my blood.
The school play turned out to be a huge success. Both Monica and I were given long ovations. Monica proved to all what a great actress she was by playing a boy with amazing skill. I was equally applauded, but by the time of the first production, playing a girl was no longer an act. The hardest scenes for me were when I had to kiss Tony. Even though she looked a lot like a boy, I knew she was a girl and kissing a girl felt almost unnatural. I tried to pretend she was Josh during those encounters.
Before summer arrived I had my driver’s license and it read Mia Natalia Adams. Spring was so full of firsts and it was certainly a sweet 16 birthday to remember. One of those firsts was Prom, but that’s a whole other story.
The End
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