Season 2 of Soixante-Trois Airlines tells the story of a young man who receives an offer he never expected, but that changes his life in ways he never imagined...
“Okay,” the brown-haired flight attendant whispered as they slipped on their fitted royal blue jacket, fastening the one single button at the front. “You can do this.”
“You ready?” The flight attendant’s mentor, a 22 year old blonde woman named Abbey, asked.
“Ready as I’ll ever be!” The brown haired flight attendant replied with a nervous giggle.
“You’ll be FINE,” Abbey replied. “Trust me, the job isn’t THAT hard. It’ll seem like you have a lot to learn, but if you’ve already got the qualifications- which you must have, otherwise you wouldn’t have been hired- then training will be a walk in the park.”
“I guess,” came the hesitant reply.
“And Sophie?” Abbey asked.
“Yes?” The brown-haired woman replied.
“You look girly and GORGEOUS,” Abbey giggled.
“…Thanks,” Sophie replied with a nervous giggle. I’ll try to take that as a compliment, the brown-haired woman thought to herself as she remembered the circumstances surrounding the beginning of her employment with Soixante-Trois Airlines.
----------
“Thanks for coming,” Rachel said, shaking hands with the short, slender young man as he entered her office. “I’ll be honest… I’m kinda surprised you did reply to my email.”
“You promised the story of a lifetime,” James replied. “How can any journalist worth their salt turn that down?”
“Even though it’s undercover reporting?” Rachel asked.
“I wouldn’t be the first undercover reporter in the history of the world,” James shrugged. “Even when you consider what the ‘cover’ is, heh.”
“And- and you’re SURE you’re okay with this?” Rachel asked. “I mean, I can always try to find an actual- sorry, poor choice of words, umm, a genetic fema-“
“Soixante-Trois Airlines has a worldwide reputation for hiring flight attendants who are transgendered women,” James said. “As they’re a French firm, they’re still subject to EU regulations, meaning they can’t turn down applicants on the grounds of birth gender. They clamped down on the uniform regulations as a result, which only backfired when it put genetic females off applying for the airline, and encouraged transgendered applicants even more.”
“You did your homework, I’m impressed,” Rachel said with a grin. “So you understand why in this case, having a transgendered woman would actually be LESS suspicious.”
“Who’ll notice another man pretending to be a woman, right?” James asked, frowning as Rachel grimaced.
“That’s…” Rachel said with gritted teeth. “That’s kinda… The first misconception you need to overcome. Take it from someone who’s worked around transgendered women for years now- there’s a very, very big distinction between ‘pretending to be a woman’ and ‘transgendered’.”
“Really?” James asked. “I mean, sure, I’ve heard of, like, The Angels and Out of Heaven, but I just, you know, always assumed that away from the cameras, the, you know, ‘mask’ dropped. Or something…”
“There is no ‘mask’,” Rachel explained. “All the transgendered girls I know… It was like them being male was them wearing a ‘mask’, and when they got to be who they really wanted to be, they were, I dunno, free.”
“I’ve got a LOT to learn,” James sighed. “You know, I’ve never even met a transgendered person before, now I’m going to have to pretend to be one…”
“It’s not too late to back out,” Rachel said. “Of course, that would mean another journalist gets to write the story of a lifetime…”
“No, no, I DEFINITELY want this,” James insisted. “If what you say is true about all the misogyny in the company, the nepotism, the poor treatment of employees… This could set me up for life. Wearing a skirt for a few months really is a small price to pay.”
“Oh trust me,” Rachel chuckled, “you might change your mind when you see what’s on the dress code besides the skirt!”
“Well- first things first,” Jamie sighed. “I haven’t even GOT the job yet…”
“Don’t worry, I can coach you there,” Rachel said. “I was a supervisor there for years, I know what they look for at the interviews.”
“It’s… It’s not the interview that I’ll need ‘coaching’ for,” James said with a grimace, earning a sympathetic smile from the older woman.
“Don’t worry about that either,” Rachel said. “I happen to know a thing or two about THAT too, hehe! The one thing is, though, you ARE going to need a, you know, ‘proper’ name.”
“A girl’s name, you mean?” James asked.
“Got it in one,” Rachel said with a giggle. “And no, you can’t have ‘Jamie’ or ‘Jamie-Lee’, that one’s taken!”
“I wouldn’t have chosen that anyway,” James said. “The further away from the ‘real me’ my cover is, the easier it’ll be to maintain.”
“Okay,” Rachel said. “How about… Sophie? With longer hair and make-up, you’d look like a ‘Sophie’.”
“Thanks,” James said with a snort of laughter. “…Okay, ‘Sophie’ it is. So… What first?”
“First we do something about that voice of yours,” Rachel said, her devilish smile widening as her plan began to take shape.
Over the next few weeks, James spent virtually every free moment being ‘coached’ by Rachel about all things feminine. He became an expert at applying make-up, at styling his hair femininely and on picking out the most fashionable clothes to wear. He learned how to carry himself like a woman, how to smile like a woman and how to soften his voice to sound convincingly feminine. James even spent all of his free time completing ‘homework’ set for him by Rachel- hidden away in his wardrobe were several bras, which he became adept at fastening and unfastening (as well as getting used to the weight of breast forms), and several pairs of high heels that James practised walking in until his feet grew sore.
Eventually, the day of James’s interview at the London office of Soixante-Trois Airlines arrived, but the night before, Rachel invited James to her office for one final ‘lesson’.
“Honestly, any more coaching and I’ll end up being the one who interviews them!” James said in his perfected ‘Sophie’ voice that Rachel insisted he use whenever they met.
“That IS the idea,” Rachel said with a giggle. “That’s always been how I’ve approached all of my job interviews. But it’s not just bosses you’ll be interacting with in your job.”
“Most of it will be with passengers, then?” James asked.
“A lot more than you think will be with other stewardesses,” Rachel said. “They’re the people who you’ll be getting the material for your story from. They’re the ones you’ll need to convince.”
“If this ‘tutu project’ you keep mentioning has so many members,” James asked, “then why do I even need to be ‘undercover’ around them?”
“Because most of them, like most Soixante-Trois employees, are also transgendered,” Rachel explained. “I’m sensitive that I need to tread on as few toes as possible. And the fewer people know about you, the less likely it is that any one will accidentally let it slip. Besides, it’s not like you’ll be doing this forever, right?”
“Well- I guess,” James said.
“Right, then!” Rachel said with a smile. “I’ve laid out a dress for you. I’ll let you get changed, then meet me downstairs, okay?”
“Oka- wait, what?” James asked, his body filling with panic dow- downstairs!? In the actual pub itself?”
“Yes…” Rachel said, before giggling. “James, you’re going to have to go out in public eventually. Do you really want Sophie’s first ‘exposure’ to the world to be a job interview?”
“Well- it’s not ideal…” James mumbled.
“It’s about as unideal as it’s possible to get,” Rachel snorted. “I’ve invited four of my friends for drinks here tonight. Three of them work for the airline, the fourth used to. I’ll tell them that you’re my cousin, you want to work for Soixante-Trois and have asked me for help. Don’t worry! They’re all friendly, three of them are transgendered too so won’t even blink if they ‘suss’ you.”
“Okay, I guess…” James said hesitantly as Rachel led him to the flat’s small kitchen.
“Don’t forget your nail polish and perfume,” Rachel advised. “Knock when you’re ready.”
“Okay then…” James said, taking a deep breath before taking a look at the feminine delights that had been laid out for him.
After stripping down naked, exposing his smooth, hairless body to the warm air of the kitchen, James slid the control thong up his legs, wincing as the thin rear rode between his buttocks while the pouch at the front uncomfortably flattened 'him'. James then clipped his padded bra behind his back, adjusting the straps so that his C-cup forms were positioned perfectly on his chest. next, James rolled a pair of translucent black tights up his legs, smoothing them until they were wrinkle-free, before sitting down to fix his make-up.
As he'd been instructed by Rachel, James began by smearing concealer over his closely shaved face, before applying a light layer of foundation. Mascara came next, followed by eyeliner and a light silver eyeshadow, before James finished his make-up with a liberal layer of scarlet lipstick. After applying a layer of dark red polish to his fingernails, James spritzed himself with perfume and fastened around his neck the dainty gold chain that Rachel had loaned him.
James licked his scarlet lips as he picked up the dress that had been left for him. It was a plain, sleeveless black dress with a high neck and a very slender, almost pencil-like knee-length black skirt. James suppressed a shudder as he stepped into the dress, before reaching behind his back to zip it shut and finishing his look by stepping into the pair of plain black 3" heeled pumps that had been left for him.
With his look complete, James closed his eyes, before opening them and staring at 'his' reflection in the mirror. 'He' was no longer James, the down-on-his luck, short, shrimpy journalist. 'She' was Sophie, a hot, 23 year old woman about to become a glamorous flight attendant who would literally have the whole world at her feet. Sophie was forced to admit that she looked cute. Very cute- maybe even hot. And the clothes weren't uncomfortable- far from it. In many ways, 'Sophie' felt more comfortable in her skin than 'James' ever did...
With tingles of nervousness and excitement running through her body, Sophie knocked on the door, trying not to blush as Rachel beamed a proud smile at her.
“Ah, Miss Connelly, you are going to knock them DEAD!” Rachel giggled. “Just need to do something with your hair first…” Sophie tried not to wince as Rachel brushed her short- for a girl- brown hair, transforming it from the usual scruffy, unstyled look into a cute feminine style with a short cowlick. “Ready now?” Will I ever be? Sophie thought to herself, before realising that Rachel was right. If she wanted this job, this ‘assignment’, she was never going to get it by hiding away in a kitchen.
“Let’s do this,” Sophie said, earning a cheer from Rachel as she led the nervous young woman down to the bustling bar area of the pub. Despite her weeks of practice, Sophie still felt unsteady in her high heeled shoes as she descended the stairs, and grimaced every time the hem of her tight dress pulled at her thighs. None of that compared to the nerves she felt, however, as she approached the table where four similarly-dressed women were deep in conversation.
“Ladies,” Rachel said with a proud voice, silencing the conversation. “I’d like you to meet my cousin Sophie. Soph’s got an interview tomorrow for a certain airline that the five of us know quite well, hehe! I thought I’d introduce you, let you get to know each other. Who knows, a few weeks from now, you’ll hopefully be working with each other!”
“Hi!” The four women said in unison as Sophie took a seat at the end of their booth, smoothing her dress beneath her in the manner she’d practised countless times before.
“Interviewing for Soixante-Trois?” One of the women- a dark-haired woman with long, dangly earrings and a thick Manchester accent- asked. “I probably shouldn’t tell you to run for your life, but it wouldn’t be the worst idea you’ve ever had!”
“Heh,” Sophie giggled nervously.
“So, why’d you want to work for the airline?” The blonde woman at the other end of the booth asked in a refined American accent.
“You’re no’ doing the interview yourself, you know!” the woman sat next to the American, who had jet black hair, pale skin and strikingly mismatched blue and green eyes, teased in a thick Glaswegian accent, eliciting a giggle from the blonde woman.
“I’m just curious,” the American girl said with a giggle, before extending her slender hand for Sophie to shake. “I’m Jessica, by the way. Jessica Tyler.”
“And soon to be Jessica Robertson-Tyler!” The Scottish girl giggled, also shaking Sophie’s hand. “I’m Paige, by the way, and I’m the lucky gal who put a ring on Jess!” Sophie giggled excitedly as Jessica and Paige showed off their sparkling engagement rings.
“Aww, congratulations!” Sophie said with a happy, girlish sigh.
“Thanks!” Jessica giggled as she exchanged a cuddle with her fiancée.
“Also thanks!” The northern woman said as she and the brown-haired woman sat next to her showed off their own engagement rings. “I’m Natalie, by the way, Natalie Briggs.”
“Zoe Renou,” the brown-haired woman who hadn’t yet spoken said in a refined French accent.
“And I’m Sophie, Sophie Connelly,” Sophie said, her nerves settling as the four women all smiled at her, clearly welcoming her to the ‘group’. “You all work for the airline, then?”
“Nearly all,” Zoe said with a smug grin. “I, to use your words, escaped two years ago.”
“Word to the wise,” Natalie interjected. “If you happen to find an incredibly cute colleague working for the same company as you, DON’T get caught snogging them in the toilets!”
“Especially by your cousin!” Zoe snorted.
“Wha- Rachel?” Sophie asked. “She- she grassed you up?” So much for this ‘tutu project’, Sophie thought to herself.
“She used to be really high up with management there,” Jessica explained. “De facto second in command of the London hub. Didn’t you know that?”
“Umm… No,” Sophie said. “I mean, I knew she was a supervisor, I just didn’t know she was THAT important.”
“Did she tell you why she left?” Natalie asked.
“…Disagreement with management?” Sophie asked.
“In a manner of speaking,” Paige said. “Refusal to shove her nose straight up management’s arse.”
“Don’t get us wrong,” Jessica said, trying her best to defuse the tension building at the table. “The airline can be a great place to work. It pays really well, you get to make new friends… But if you really want to progress to, say, a management level, then it really is a case of who you know and not what you know.”
“Easy to say for someone who HAS been promoted,” Natalie teased the American girl.
“Oh, please,” Jessica snorted. “After what happened in May there’s no way I’m ever getting another promotion. I’m lucky I kept the one I already have, heh. Absolutely 100% worth it, though!” Sophie smiled as Jessica and Paige linked fingers with each other, before a wave of recognition washed over the English girl’s face.
“Wait- wait a minute,” Sophie asked. “Are- are you two- the girls who got engaged at Heathrow?”
“Aye, that’s us!” Paige said with an embarrassed giggle.
“Oh my god, I remember watching that video!” Sophie enthused. “Well, me and about eight million others…”
“I think about four million of those were us!” Jessica giggled as she and her fiancée snuggled closer to each other. “Another million were probably our management wondering how to throw the book at us.”
“And then they decided that they wouldn’t dare,” Natalie laughed. “Two transgendered women proposing to each other? That’s a liberal fairy tale right there. And a political correctness time bomb if they even thought about disciplining either of you.”
“Neither of us were in uniform,” Paige shrugged. “We were just two commuters who happened to share our most romantic moment with the whole world.”
“You just know Antoine Masson would’ve turned purple when he saw that video,” Natalie laughed.
“Antoine Masson- owner of Soixante-Trois, right?” Sophie asked.
“…Someone’s done her homework!” Jessica said with a grin.
"It would be like working for Virgin Airlines and not knowing who Richard Branson is, though," Zoe interjected. "Though Masson is less Branson and much more Trump."
"If he didn't have the EU keeping him in check, he WOULD be Trump," Natalie spat.
"I reckon there's another reason," Jessica said. "Masson wants to expand to America. Bollocking the American 'golden girl' ain't going to help there."
"Look at you, using the word 'bollocking'!" Paige teased her blushing fiancée. "And given who's in the White House, I'd have thought bollocking you WOULD have endeared Masson..."
"He won't be in the White House forever," Jessica said with a smug grin. "And besides, when we were in the States earlier in the month, we DID get a lot of, you know, 'support'."
"...Aye, that's true!" Paige said, before letting out an embarrassed giggle. "...Think we might be putting Sophie off here, heh!"
"No, please, you carry on!" Sophie laughed. "So, umm... If you don't mind me asking about you- you two... You said you were-"
"Transgendered?" Paige asked. "Aye. I've been transitioning for two and a half years, Jessica for 20 months."
"No regrets?" Sophie asked.
"Just one," Paige whispered, gazing at the ring on her finger. "That everything I have in my life... I didn't get earlier."
"Yeah," Sophie said hesitantly, her heart starting to race as she examined the two women- and they were unmistakably women. Their bodies were slender, their skin was smooth and their entire demeanour just screamed 'girl' as loudly as they could. It was plainly obvious to Sophie that Rachel had been right- there was no 'mask' on either woman's face. They were exactly what they were- two young, happy women enjoying life to the fullest. And Sophie was going to have to pretend to be exactly like them.
"I've... Technically not started yet," Sophie said, earning sympathetic smiles from the other women at the table. "Assuming, umm, you count taking hormones as the start of-"
"Which you shouldn't have to if you don't want to," Natalie said confidently. "And I should know. It's what's in your heart that makes you a girl, not what's in your blood."
"Natalie there showing why she got an F for her GCSE biology," Paige teased.
"...I got an A, you cheeky cow," Natalie snorted. "Remind me again, which one of us has an IQ of 141?"
"And yet you waste it on Masson and his toy planes," Zoe teased her fiancée, who rolled her eyes in response.
"I'm happy living my life the way I want," Natalie retorted. "I'm 24, I've got a steady, well-paying job, the best friends in the world, the most beautiful fiancée in the world and- oh yes- I get to live my life as a woman whenever I want and for as long as I want, regardless of what my DNA says. I'd say I'm doing pretty well with my life."
"So you- you don't work for Soixante-Trois anymore?" Sophie asked Zoe, who smiled smugly and shook her head.
"14 months was enough for me," Zoe snorted. "I teach ballet now, here in London."
"Ah, cool," Sophie said.
"Zoe actually does a private class for us on Sunday mornings," Natalie said. "Those of us who aren't on a plane, anyway. Kinda a lifelong dream for girls- well, 'girls like us', getting to pull on a leotard and a pair of tights and be ballerinas for a short while..." If you say so, Sophie thought to herself.
"I can always save you a space if you want," Zoe offered.
"I'll- I'll pass, if it's all the same to you," Sophie said. "I- I really am just, you know, kinda- kinda new to everything..."
"Never lived full time as a girl before joining the company?" Jessica asked, smiling sympathetically as Sophie's eyes widened. "Don't worry, me and Paige were the same. It's a cliché, but working for the company opened up a whole world for us- the wonderful world of womanhood! Who knows, two years from now, we may be celebrating your anniversary of transitioning?" Umm, no, Sophie thought to herself. My blood is staying 100% hormone free, thank you very much.
"...Who knows?" Sophie laughed.
"Anyway, you've heard us prattle on long enough," Paige giggled. "We hardly know anything about you- well, beyond the 'thing that need go unsaid'."
"Well- there's not really much to tell..." Sophie half-lied. "I was born in London, an only child, I'm 23, I studied jo- umm, geography at university..." Smooth, Sophie sarcastically thought to herself.
"Ah, you're in the right job then!" Natalie laughed. "Still- still living with parents? Or is, umm, is that, you know, a- a 'sensitive' topic?"
"...They don't know about 'Sophie'," the brown-haired girl whispered, earning sympathetic sighs from the other girls at the table. "This really is a new thing for me..."
"Tell them sooner rather than later," Paige advised. "Take it from someone who knows."
"And if the worst should happen," Jessica said softly, "you'll always have this 'family' to lean on. But I've met Rachel's parents, and they seem decent enough, so yours should be too, right?"
"Why-" Sophie began, before remembering that as she was pretending to be Rachel's cousin, obviously their parents would be similar. "...Not, right?"
"Right!" The other four girls cheered.
"And I'll have a word with management on your behalf, WHEN you get the job," Natalie said with a smirk. "See if I can't get you into one of the shared houses. Trust me when I say that you are in for the most fun few months of your life!"
"The parties, for starters!" Paige giggled. "Even speaking as someone who's been to a Charlotte Hutchinson party, they are AWESOME!"
“You- you’ve been to one of those?” Sophie asked, blushing as the other four women all giggled at her expense.
“THAT got your attention!” Jessica said with a good-natured smile. “We don’t get invited ALL the time, and even then it’s because Mademoiselle Renou over there works for one of the Angels.”
“WITH one of the Angels,” Zoe corrected her American friend. “And Paige is right, our parties are just as good as theirs!”
“We’ll definitely make sure that your ‘welcome to the family’ party will be one to remember!” Natalie giggled, making Sophie blush yet again.
“Oh- you don’t have to on my behalf, really…” Sophie mumbled.
“Nah, of course we will!” Natalie laughed. “We’ll try to make it something personalised for you.”
“One of our friends, a Portuguese girl called Rosita, had a huge Doctor Who-themed party,” Jessica said with a grin. “Everyone went dressed as one of the companions, or a female version of one of the Doctors, there was even a TARDIS-shaped cake.”
“I haven’t even passed the interview yet!” Sophie chuckled. And at this rate, she thought to herself, hopefully I won’t…
“Think positive!” Paige urged. “What are your likes and dislikes?”
“Well…” Sophie mumbled. “I- I kinda like, umm, football…” And cover blown, the brown-haired girl thought to herself.
“Good girl,” Natalie chuckled. “What team do you support?”
“Umm, Man United,” Sophie replied, grimacing as Natalie’s smile turned into a deep frown.
“I take back what I said,” the northern girl grumbled as Jessica, Paige and even Zoe all had a giggle at her expense.
“Did- did I say something wrong?” Sophie asked.
“Yes,” Natalie bluntly replied.
“…Man City fan,” Paige explained, making Sophie involuntarily snort with laughter.
“Keep laughing, remember who actually played in the Champions League last season,” Natalie snorted.
“Remember who actually won something last season?” Sophie asked, smirking as Jessica, Paige and Zoe all giggled girlishly at their friend’s expense.
“…Okay, I officially don’t like you,” Natalie joked.
“Well we officially DO,” Jessica said with a warm grin. “I reckon you’re going to fit in just fine!”
“Thanks,” Sophie said, relaxing back into her seat with a smile on her face.
After an hour, Sophie made her excuses and returned to the upstairs living area of the pub, where she was soon joined by the pub’s manager, who wore a wide, proud smile on her face.
“So…” Rachel asked. “How’d you like the girls?”
“They were cool,” Sophie shrugged, sighing happily as she removed her heels. “Exhausting, though!”
“I guess, what with the whole ‘keeping the mask up’, though,” Rachel mused. “Reckon you passed the test, though!”
“I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “That’s not the test that counts, though…”
“No it isn’t,” Rachel agreed. “Well… In a way, it kinda is, like, they both count, you know?”
“More pressure, thanks,” Sophie sarcastically snorted, making the older woman roll her eyes.
“I didn’t mean it like THAT,” Rachel sighed. “Are- are you thinking of, you know, backing out? Because it’s cool if you are, this-“
“No, no I’m in all the way,” Sophie replied, before grimacing at her choice of words. “Ehh… You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, yeah I do,” Rachel chuckled, smiling as Sophie stretched her nylon-covered toes. “Bad news, though- you never really get used to heels.”
“I have no intention of doing,” Sophie retorted.
“And yet,” Rachel mused, “You haven’t immediately rushed into the kitchen to take your dress off. If I didn’t know better, I’d swear you actually enjoy wearing a dress…”
“They- they’re just clothes, you know?” Sophie mumbled. “Bits of cloth cut into shapes, we’re just supposed to accept that women can only wear certain types of cloth and men can only wear different types. And it’s not like it’s totally uncomfortable, you know>”
“Even the hair, make-up and nail polish?” Rachel asked. “You’ll be expected to get your ears pierced too…”
“Whatever, I’ll live,” Sophie shrugged. “People put too much, you know, ‘value’ on what gender a person is anyway. Man, woman… At the end of the day, we’re all just people, aren’t we? And so what if it turns out that I DO enjoy wearing a dress?”
“Atta girl!” Rachel giggled. “Sorry- atta person, hehe!”
“Thanks,” Sophie chuckled.
“You want to go back to yours tonight or would you rather sleep on our sofa bed?” Rachel asked. “Either way, you’ll need an early night, big day tomorrow…”
“Actually I wouldn’t mind staying over, if that’s okay?” Sophie asked.
“Of course,” Rachel shrugged. “I’ll get Danny to make up the sofa bed for you. Didn’t feel like going home tonight, then?”
“Not as ‘Sophie’,” the brown-haired girl replied. “It’s… I dunno. Maybe I just want to keep my two lives separate, like, it’d be too weird to go back to my flat dressed as Sophie…”
“Even though you presumably had loads of ‘Sophie practice’ in that flat?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah, but-“ Sophie argued, before letting out a long sigh. “…You’re right, I DO need an early night.”
“Sure,” Rachel said with a sympathetic smile as she called for her live-in boyfriend to set up the sofa bed for their guest.
The following day, Sophie woke up, dressed in a pair of light black tights, a shimmering white blouse, a short black pencil skirt with matching jacket and stiletto heeled pumps and headed to the tall, intimidating office block that contained the London offices of Soixante-Trois Airlines. Rachel had told Sophie that if she wanted, she could attend the interview as ‘James’ and thanks to the anti-discrimination laws, it wouldn’t count against her. However, Sophie attended in all her feminine glory, answered the questions with the practised answers she had memorised, smiled at the right moments, had an attentive look on her face when necessary, nodded at the right times and asked the questions she’d been fed to impress the interviewers. By the end of the interview, Sophie was so into her ‘role’ that when she was told by her interviewers that she’d got the job, she needed to consciously remind herself that she was only doing the job to gain material for her exposé. What surprised Sophie more, though, was that she also needed to consciously remind herself that she was a man dressed as a woman, rather than a woman in the body of a man.
“So…?” Rachel asked as Sophie walked into her flat’s living room and slowly lowered herself onto the sofa.
“We have a go,” Sophie said, smiling nervously at Rachel’s excited cheer. “You are officially looking at the newest member of Soixante-Trois Airlines’s cabin crew.”
“Awesome!” Rachel squeaked, leaning in to congratulate Sophie with a gently, girlish hug. “Oh, this is going to be SO cool, me and you, we- well, okay, mostly YOU’RE going to do a LOT of good work the next few months!”
“Assuming I pass probation,” Sophie sighed. “And don’t completely freak out at the training, or interacting with customers… Or the uniform…”
“You yourself said, the uniform is just ‘bits of cloth cut into different shapes’,” Rachel retorted. “And you’ve worked in customer-facing jobs before. And the training isn’t anything to panic about. Just concentrate on getting yourself ingratiated with the company, then you can start getting material for the exposé.”
“Two full time jobs at once?” Sophie asked with a snort of laughter. “Shock to the system after so long unemployed, heh.”
“You’ll be fine,” Rachel said with a warm smile. “Just think of how much money we’ll be rolling in once we’ve published your inevitably juicy story!”
“And it’s not like the pay for the actual job is that bad either,” Sophie chuckled. “If anything I’m most nervous about, you know, being ‘found out’… Guess that sounds silly, I mean, a man dressed as a woman working for an airline notorious for having mostly transgendered stewardesses…”
“Honestly, you convinced the girls last night, you’ll be fine,” Rachel said softly. “Though if it helps, there will be ONE girl also working for the airline- well, in a manner of speaking- who you’ll be able to confide in, who’ll know about the ‘real’ reason you’re working there.” Rachel grinned widely as a knock came from her flat’s front door. “And as coincidence would have it, here she is now!” Sophie watched nervously as Rachel went to open the front door, returning a few seconds later with a young, slouchy-dressed woman with long, loose brown hair.
“Is this the person you were telling me about?” The woman asked Rachel in a refined French accent.
“Umm, hi,” Sophie said, nervously waving at the newcomer. “I’m, umm, Ja- umm, Sophie, Sophie Connelly. Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise,” the young woman replied, exchanging a loose, feminine handshake with Sophie. “I am Amelie. Amelie Masson.”
“Ma- Ma- Masson!?” Sophie stammered, her jaw dropping as Rachel let out a gentle giggle.
“Yes,” Rachel replied. “And no, that name is NOT a coincidence. You just shook the hand of the daughter of one of the richest men in Europe!”
“Ugh,” Amelie spat, rolling her eyes as Rachel’s speech. “Yes. My father is Antoine Masson, the owner of Soixante-Trois. And no, I am NOT proud of that fact.”
“But- but you work for the airline, right?” Sophie asked.
“Oui,” Amelie replied. “In exchange for my father paying my university costs, I, like all my brothers and sisters, work for one of his companies for a year. I chose the airline.”
“So- so you work, umm, in management?” Sophie asked. “Or as- as, like, a consultant, or-“
“I am not Ivanka,” Amelie spat. “I am cabin crew, the same as you. But that is only because my father refuses to allow me to learn to be a pilot.”
“You- you want to be a pilot?” Sophie asked.
“What, a woman cannot fly a plane?” Amelie retorted.
“Well- no, I mean,” Sophie stammered. “But- but you could literally be anything you wanted to be-“
“And I want to be a pilot,” Amelie interrupted. “I always have. But my father… He SAYS such work is beneath me. But I know the truth. He cannot believe that a woman could ever be a pilot, especially not for his company.”
“The airline doesn’t employ a single female pilot or co-pilot,” Rachel explained.
“How- how can he get away with this?” Sophie asked. “Surely the same EU laws that mean I can apply to be a stewardess mean-“
“My father does not care about EU laws, or equality,” Amelie spat. “He would not hire any transgendered stewardesses if they were not the majority of applicants.”
“And anytime anyone questions him about ‘equality’,” Rachel explained, “he just points as his transgendered staff and says ‘I’m the most liberal employer in the world’.”
“When he would fire you all tomorrow if he could,” Amelie snorted. “And replace all the stewardesses with Playboy Bunnies. Or worse.”
“Not sure I’d suit a Bunny costume,” Sophie mumbled.
“Only certain ‘sizes’ of women do, that’s the point,” Amelie snorted. “Hopefully this should tell you what kind of man my father is.”
“And why we need to show the world this,” Rachel continued.
“Well- okay, I’m beginning to understand,” Sophie said. “But can we really do anything?”
“You saw the reaction to United Airlines earlier in the year,” Rachel said. “When they threw that doctor off the plane. There’ll be a public outcry.”
“But I thought Soixante-Trois was mostly flown by businessmen?” Sophie asked. “The kind who’d sell their mothers to cozy up to people like your father?” Sophie allowed herself a light smirk as Amelie laughed at her joke.
“Those businessmen have their own profit margins to care about,” Amelie explained. “And if their patronage of Soixante-Trois were to cost them profits… In the end, all companies can trace their profits back to the spending patterns of the general public. One useful piece of information I DID learn from my father.”
“Though you’re not entirely wrong,” Rachel sighed. “Another reason for the exposé is to try to get the usual Soixante-Trois clientele to stop seeing us as mindless trolley dollies. How many companies do you know that hold an internal beauty pageant each year for its employees?”
“…Which you won two years ago,” Amelie reminded the blonde woman, who sighed and began to blush.
“I’d have won that even if I hadn’t entered, your father was so desperate to have a ‘face’ for the London hub,” Rachel snorted.
“I really hope this beauty pageant isn’t mandatory,” Sophie chuckled, earning smiles from the two women and sympathetic hugs as they sat down on either side of her.
“Do not worry,” Amelie said softly. “I will keep an eye on you, make sure everyone knows that you are look and not touch!”
“Careful, you’ll make Ellen jealous!” Rachel said, giggling as Amelie snorted in response.
“No offence is intended, but I only prefer girls who were ‘born with it’,” Amelie said. “Another thing my father does not like and also does not know. Not yet, anyway.”
“Every day, I feel like I’m going further and further down the rabbit hole…” Sophie sighed.
“As long as you- we don’t end up wearing a rabbit costume, then we shall be okay,” Amelie said with a giggle as she and Rachel began detailing their plan to the overwhelmed Sophie.
After almost two hours of constant talk about recording interactions with management, clandestine interviews with other staff and interactions with passengers, Sophie felt mentally exhausted. When Rachel suggested that they call it a day, Sophie breathed a long sigh of relief and prepared to head back to her flat, when she was suddenly stopped by Rachel.
“You- you sure you want to head back home?” Rachel asked.
“Definitely,” Sophie sighed. “I really need to relax, take it all in… I mean, I start in five days and I’ve got reading from the company to do as well as your plans…”
“Oh, I get it, I do,” Rachel said. “It’s just- well, let me put it this way. Nice legs!”
“Wha- oh!” Sophie exclaimed as she looked down at the nylon-covered legs poking out from underneath her short pencil skirt. “God, I’d completely forgotten…”
“Being dressed as the opposite gender is something you easily forget, then?” Rachel chuckled. “It’s okay, I’ll still got your- still got James’s clothes here if you want to change before going home. Though when you move into one of the company’s houses, you won’t have that luxury, you’ll probably have to be Sophie 24/7, you know.”
“Why can’t you stay living where you are now?” Amelie asked.
“My parents pay for most of my rent,” Sophie sighed. “I don’t want to rip them off when I starting earning my own money, and I can’t really afford to live there alone even on Soixante-Trois salary. Reckon they thought I’d be a high-flying journo for The Times by now, heh.”
“Give it six months,” Rachel said with a warm grin. “I’ll call Natalie tomorrow, see if we can get you into a spare room ASAP. Unless you want to spend more time as James, of course?”
Sophie paused as she considered Rachel’s offer. In all the fuss concerning her new job, and her planned exposé, she’d not had the time to stop and think about what exactly the next few months would entail. It wasn’t enough that she’d be pretending to be another person for the duration- she’d effectively be abandoning her old identity entirely.
Consciously, of course, James knew that this would be the case when he signed up with Rachel, but it was only now that the whole enormity of the situation was beginning to dawn on him. Such simple pleasures like crashing on the sofa in a t-shirt and a loose pair of shorts, or pigging out on takeaway curry, or even going for days without shaving or caring about his appearance would be things of the past. ‘Sophie’ would now be who he was on a full-time basis. ‘James’ would be relegated to at best an occasional treat… And Sophie found that she already missed her old identity. But at the same time, she knew that the more time she spent as ‘James’, the harder it would be for her to immerse herself in ‘Sophie’. And, as the previous 24 hours had proven, being ‘Sophie’ wasn’t all bad. She was good at being Sophie. And deep down, there was even a part of her that actually enjoyed being Sophie…
“…Got to go 24/7 at some point,” Sophie shrugged. “May as well be now!”
“Atta girl!” Rachel cheered, sharing a high five with the brown haired girl. “One things for sure, though- you ARE going to need a bigger wardrobe. And by ‘you’ I of course mean MISS Sophie Connelly, hehe!”
“I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “I’ve been getting bits and bobs here and there off of Amazon, but most of it, like this suit, is what you loaned me.”
“…And I’m kinda eager to get my clothes back, if you don’t mind,” Rachel said. “Fortunately, when you start for Soixante-Trois, you DO get a decently sized lump sum up front as a clothing and cosmetics budget.”
“I’ve not got it YET, though,” Sophie retorted.
“Then fortunately,” Amelie said with a wide grin, “you have a friend who happens to be the daughter of a billionaire!” Sophie giggled as she followed Rachel and Amelie out of the flat and to the nearest clothing store, where they spent several hours expanding Sophie’s wardrobe until it was indistinguishable from that of someone who had been a woman for their entire life.
Into Sophie's shopping bags went pairs of panties- equal amounts practical briefs and scantier thongs. Sophie bought several bras to match the panties, along with a couple of comfortable bodysuits for the winter months. Dozens of pairs of tights and stockings entered the shopping bags, and as per the uniform code, Sophie also found herself being laced into several waist cinchers to find one that fit properly- an experience that almost made the brown-haired girl quit on the spot. She even bought several items of swimwear and even nightwear, to ensure that her 'cover' would be preserved 24/7.
Sophie's regulation commuting attire was all bought in the shopping trip as well- she ended up with enough smart blouses, pencil skirts and pencil dresses to last her for months, as well as matching shoes- all of which had a 3 inch or higher heel. Several casual outfits entered the shopping bags too- loose, flowing skirts, girlish shorts and feminine-cut trousers and jeans, as well as tight-fitting t-shirts and turtleneck sweaters.
Sophie also ended up with what looked like a lifetime's supply of cosmetics, as well as accessories, nail polish and even some small items of jewellery for her to wear just to 'complete the disguise'.
After a quick dinner in an expensive restaurant selected by Amelie, the three women (and their vast quantity of shopping bags) returned to Rachel’s flat, where they were greeted by the blonde woman’s grinning partner.
“Hi girls!” Danny said, before giving Rachel a soft kiss on her lips. “Ah, I see you’ve been giving Amelie- sorry, old Antoine’s credit cards a good workout, then?”
“Piss off, Danny,” Amelie snorted, earning a chuckle from the dark-haired man.
“Off I shall piss,” Danny said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “But before I do, Natalie called while you were out, said she wanted to speak to you and Sophie. I said you were out shopping, she said she knew better than to interrupt you while you were doing that, told me to tell you to call her when you got home.”
“Thanks babe,” Rachel said, giving Danny another kiss before letting him get back to the bar downstairs.
“Is- is that about the flat?” Sophie asked.
“Only one way to find out,” Rachel said, taking her phone out of her handbag. “I’ll put it on speaker so we can all hear.”
“Hi Rachel,” Natalie’s voice spoke from the phone. “Sophie with you?”
“I’m here,” Sophie said.
“Excellent,” Natalie said warmly. “Guess who’s no longer homeless?”
“You- you’ve got me into one of the company’s flats?” Sophie asked.
“Even better,” Natalie chuckled. “I got you into my old flat. There were spaces after me, Zoe and Abbey moved out, I pulled a few strings, in you go!”
“Oh- thank you so much!” Sophie giggled.
“Even better than that,” Natalie continued, “you’re technically sharing a bedroom with my sister, which means that you’ll effectively have the entire bedroom to yourself, as my sister spends most of her time now shacked up with Parisian Paris Hilton.”
“I heard that!” Amelie growled.
“Good,” Natalie retorted with a mean chuckle. “The room’s free so you can move in whenever you’re ready.”
“Th- thanks!” Sophie giggled. “Thank you so much… Guess- guess I’d better call my parents, then, and my landlord…”
“Plenty of time for that,” Rachel said. “Thanks, Nat!”
“No problem,” Natalie said, before ending the call.
“God,” Sophie sighed as she sat down on the sofa, keeping her knees pressed together in the way she’d practised countless times. “It- ugh, this’ll sound stupid, but it’s seeming more and more real, you know? Every step I take… God knows what I’ll be like on my first day…”
“You WILL be fine,” Rachel reassured the brown-haired woman. “Just think of the money and prestige you’ll get by the end of the project… Literally every new organisation in the country will be banging on your door!”
“I guess,” Sophie chuckled. “Just hope the other girls moving in will be okay…”
“I’m sure they’ll be cool,” Rachel said softly. “Though obviously, we won’t know for sure until you move in… And Nat DID say that the flat was free, so we can, you know, go anytime?”
“…Tomorrow?” Sophie asked, before letting out a sigh. “I’ll need to go back to my flat to pack my belongings- heh, and ‘James’s belongings too.”
“I know what you said last night about going back to your flat as ‘Sophie’,” Rachel said softly. “Do- do you want us to give you some privacy? You know, to change back into ‘James’?” Sophie paused and bit her lip as she pondered the blonde woman’s question. Being in ‘James’s home as ‘Sophie’ was what concerned her the most, but technically, it wasn’t going to be ‘James’s home anymore…
“I’ll be fine,” Sophie shrugged, earning smiles from the other two women. “It’ll be just one night. And I was never really attached to that place anyway, heh.”
“Atta girl!” Rachel cheered.
“I’ll call a taxi, get you and your new clothes home,” Amelie said. “Thank you again so much for this. My father has been ruling his company with an iron fist for too long. And I know it will not be any better when my brothers take over.”
“Why not take over the company yourself, then?” Sophie asked.
“I told you, I am not Ivanka,” Amelie spat. “All I want to be is a pilot. My sister, though- my younger sister, Francine, she is VERY clever. She would be ideal to take over the company when she’s older. But our father just sees her- just sees us both- as baby dolls, pretty faces to be admired and not respected for our skill.”
“Much like he sees virtually all of his female employees,” Rachel sighed.
“And his wives,” Amelie growled. “But you do not need to worry about his or my private lives. Just get the material you need. We will do the rest.”
“Can do,” Sophie chuckled. “And I’ll pay you back for all the clothes when I can, I prom-“
“There is no need!” Amelie laughed. “Billionaire’s daughter, remember? And besides, it is not like you will be wearing them a year from now, will you?”
“Well- I guess not, heh,” Sophie chuckled, though as she rubbed her nylon-covered legs together, she began to wonder whether or not ‘Sophie’ should be just a part-time thing…
As he laid in his bed for what would be the last time for at least several months, James tried in vain to take stock of his situation. Within hours, he would willingly abandon not just his identity, but also his gender. He was sleeping in his comfortable boxer shorts for the last time. He was using the words ‘he’, ‘his’ and ‘him’ for the last time. From tomorrow, ‘he’ would, too all intents and purposes, become a ‘she’… And the strangest thing was, James found himself growing more and more excited by the prospect.
The following morning, it wasn’t James that woke up in the plain, bare bedroom, but Sophie. From the second she woke up, she put herself in the mindset that she was going to face the day head-on and not dwell on the past, but look forward to the future- HER future- and the opportunities it will provide.
Sophie began the day by showering, ensuring that when she was done, she was not only clean, but entirely hairless below her eyebrows. After spraying on a very sweet-smelling feminine deodorant, Sophie pulled on one of her 'control' thongs, followed by a matching bra, into which she stuffed her breast forms. Sophie then brushed out her hair to the bob that she'd become accustomed to, and applied her make-up- a light layer of mascara and eye shadow, and a fruity-tasting lip gloss.
With it being a hot August morning, Sophie eschewed tights in favour of going bare-legged, and pulled on a comfortable pleated black miniskirt, followed by a very girly light-blue t-shirt and a pair of flip flops.
With her look immaculate and unmistakably feminine, Sophie grabbed the handbag she’d bought during the previous day’s shopping trip, and headed toward her front door, where two well-built men were waiting along with a large removals van.
“Hi guys,” Sophie said, biting her lip and trying not to grimace as the two men’s eyes were immediately drawn to her smooth, hairless legs.
“Hi, Miss Connelly, right?” The older of the two men asked.
“Yep!” Sophie nervously chuckled. “Everything’s packed up inside, do- do you want a hand?” Sophie tried her best not to feel embarrassed as the two men- both of whom were larger and stronger than ‘James’ ever was- shared a quiet laugh at her expense.
“Nah, think we’ll be alright love,” the older man said. “We’ve got your new address, just leave it with us and we’ll see you there in a bit.”
“Okay, um, thanks!” Sophie said with a grin as she headed to the nearest tube station.
As she walked through the packed London streets, Sophie tried her hardest to put the encounter with the men out of her head, but with every step she took, she realised just how much she hadn’t taken into account when she’d agreed to become female. Interacting with friendly young women that she’d been introduced to was one thing, but as Sophie was discovering, the wider world wasn’t made up of that type of person- and neither would the clientele she’d be dealing with as a stewardess. Sophie had seen plenty of photos of the stewardesses in the company’s brochure, and she could certainly see how their bodies in their tight skirts and sheer stockings would be extremely appealing. And in just a few days’ time, Sophie was going to be the one on the other end of the ‘appeal’- and that thought sent a shiver down her spine. Especially when she remembered the stories she’d been told about a co-pilot with a voracious ‘appetite’…
Sophie tried to put her nerves- and the stares she had received on her short journey to her new flat- out of her mind as she rang the doorbell and was greeted by the excited face of a young ginger-haired woman.
“Hi!” The redhead squeaked excitedly. “You must be Sophie, right?”
“Must be!” Sophie replied with a forced giggle.
“I’m Amy, Amy Harris,” the ginger-hair girl giggled. “Come on in, I’ll introduce you to the- well, I would say ‘others’, but it actually just ‘other’ at the moment… Got to say, I AM a bit jealous that you’re getting the solo bedroom, hehe!”
“…Sorry?” Sophie shrugged, making the ginger-haired girl giggle.
“No, you’re okay,” Amy said. “I’m just lucky that Hayley’s so easy to get along with, heh.”
“Wish the same could be said of her!” A woman with a soft northern accent called from the living room area, making Amy roll her eyes.
“Hayley Fisher, meet Sophie Connelly,” Amy said. “Sophie, meet Hayley, she’ll be starting with company on Monday as well.”
“Hi!” Sophie said, before nervously leaning in and sharing air kisses with the taller woman. Even though Hayley had long hair and was wearing a loose summer dress, her height- almost two inches taller than the 5’ 8” Sophie- her comparatively broad shoulders and, most noticeably, her Adam’s apple hinted that something was ‘different’ about Hayley. Though as Sophie made her observations, she couldn’t help but feel guilty about her prejudice, given that she was almost certainly giving off the same ‘signs’…
“Hi!” Hayley giggled as she led Sophie to the sofa, where both women sat down, one leg crossed over the other. “So, then…”
“Yeah!” Sophie nervously chuckled. “Umm… Yeah. The- the removal guys should be here in a bit, I, umm, haven’t got much stuff. My flat was, umm, furnished…”
“Less to unpack, I guess!” Hayley chuckled as Amy sat down in the chair opposite the sofa and rolled her eyes at the two awkward women.
“Hope the next few months aren’t going to be THIS awkward,” Amy sighed, making Hayley and Sophie blush. “So, Sophie, tell us a little about yourself?”
“Umm…” Sophie said, her torso tightening as she was once again put on the spot. “There- there’s not much to tell… I’m 23, an only child, graduated from uni two years ago but have only been doing the occasional job since then…”
“What did you study?” Amy asked, forcing Sophie to rack her brains as she tried to remember what she’d told Rachel’s friends.
“Umm… Geography,” Sophie replied. “Studying, umm, you know, countries…”
“Cool!” Hayley giggled. “I always wanted to go to uni, but my grades were never brilliant… Only just finished my A-levels, heh. Where did you go to university?”
“Leicester,” Sophie replied, making Hayley grin.
“No way!” The mousey-haired girl giggles. “I’m from Nottingham, just up the road from you, hehe! You originally from Leicester?”
“Umm, nope, actually born in London,” Sophie said with a proud grin.
“2-1 to the Southern girls,” Amy playfully cheered. “I’m from Sittingbourne, moved to London 9 months ago, started work for the airline in May.”
“Yeah, I just- I just moved down a few days ago myself,” Hayley said. “Were- were you living with your parents before moving in here?”
“Well- well, living in a flat my parents paid for,” Sophie said, grimacing at the inevitable question she would soon be asked.
“And how- how did your parents react when you, umm…” Hayley mumbled. “When you- when you told them that you were, you know, umm… Moving out?”
“I… I think we should address the so-called elephant in the room now,” Amy said quietly. “And that’s that when Hayley says ‘moving out’, she probably- probably means ‘coming out’…”
“…I didn’t tell them,” Sophie mumbled. “I- I don’t even know if this is- you know, ‘permanent’… I need to, umm…” Come on, Sophie thought to herself. Think, Soph- Jam- Sophie, think… “I need to know if this is what I really want.”
“Oh, trust me, been there, done that,” Hayley sighed. “I… I’ve only been transitioning for a month. Not even on hormones yet… it- ugh.”
“H- Hayley?” Sophie asked, frowning with concern as the tall girl wiped a tear from her eye.
“My- umm, my dad…” Hayley mumbled.
“You’ve- you’ve not talked about your dad,” Amy said quietly. “Hayley are- is everything okay? Did he- did he, you know, hurt you?”
“It was the opposite, heh,” Hayley sighed. “I mean, I’ve always felt, you know, feminine, at least on the inside, I always tried to sneak into my sister’s bedroom when she was away, try on her clothes… I used to think I was a weirdo at first, you know, then I started reading about transgender issues, started thinking that this might be, well, ‘me’… I had a plan, you know? After school was finished, I’d talk to my parents, explain how I felt…”
“What happened?” Amy asked.
“When I was fourteen, in the summer holidays, my dad, he-“ Hayley stammered, before letting out a long sigh. “…He announced to the whole family that HE no longer wanted to live life as a man, and that he was going to start transitioning.”
“Oh- oh my god!” Amy gasped.
“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I said,” Hayley sighed. “Of course, mum kicked him- her, sorry, kicked HER out of the house almost immediately, and my plans- everything I had planned just went straight down the shitter. I got depressed, I mean, REALLY depressed, and of course, my mum was only too happy to blame this on my dad, which only made me feel guilty for being trans, which made me even MORE depressed…”
“Does- does your mum know?” Sophie asked. “Does your dad, even?”
“Mum does,” Hayley whispered. “That’s why I’m not living in Nottingham anymore, heh. She practically ran me out of town, called me a disgrace, accused me of trying to corrupt my younger brother as well, even though he’s, like, seventeen, six foot two and a proper ‘alpha male’.”
“What did your brother say?” Sophie asked, before grimacing. “Eh, sorry, sorry, I’m prying, force of habit for a jo- umm, I mean, girl like me…”
“No, it’s okay, it’s good to talk,” Hayley sighed. “Reminds me, I need to talk to someone at the company, see if they can set me up with a counsellor down here. But to answer your other question, no, my dad doesn’t know. I haven’t even seen him- no, not him, HER, in five years… SHE may even be post-op now, I dunno.”
“God, I’m so sorry,” Amy sighed, reaching over to give the distraught Hayley’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Sometimes I feel guilty that my parents were so supportive, heh.”
“Wha- you mean- you’re, umm, you too?” Sophie asked, causing Amy to giggle and even bringing a smile back to Hayley’s face.
“Aww, thanks!” Amy giggled. “Guess it helps being a shrimpy 5’ 4”, hehe! But yes, I am very much ‘X and Y’… tried my best to fight it when I was a kid, I mean, being small, I was almost constantly picked on at school. Being a ginge didn’t help either. So I used to act out at school just to get all the meatheads to stop bullying me, I was a PROPER little arsehole in class most days… I was seriously deep in denial, heh.”
“What- what happened to make you, umm…” Sophie mumbled.
“When did I realise I was ‘Amy’ and not ‘Andy’?” The read-haired girl asked. “When I started FE college, started making newer, better friends… Umm, female friends…” Sophie frowned as Amy suddenly bit her lip and stared toward the corner of the room- signs she knew from her training as a journalist that meant that the ginger haired girl was either lying or withholding something, and something BIG.
“Anyway,” Amy continued, “flash forward to my 21st birthday and, well, my parents obviously knew something. Maybe they went through my browser history, maybe I’d subconsciously dropped hints, I dunno. But the first present I opened contained a knee-length black skirt.”
“Aww,” Hayley cooed.
“I know, right?” Amy said. “So there I am, crying like a baby as I open present after present, clothes, make-up, haircare products, you name it… Then my dad hands me my final gift, I open it and there’s a locket inside, and inside the locket there’s an inscription: ‘to our child on their 21st birthday. Bot or girl, we’ll always love you with all our heart’.”
“Oh my god, that is so amazing,” Sophie sighed, before gasping in surprise as she felt a single tear trickle down her cheek.
“It was even my parents who recommended I work for the airline,” Amy chuckled. “I’d never even heard of them, but they watched the reality show they put out on ITV2 a while back, said ‘hey Amy, you speak fluent French, why not apply to be a stewardess?’. And, well, here I am!”
“So cool,” Hayley sighed, making Amy grimace.
“Eesh, sorry…” The red-haired girl sighed. “Here I am, yacking on about how amazing my parents are, when you two…”
“S’okay,” Hayley shrugged.
“…I’m kinda more of a listener anyway,” Sophie chuckled.
“Yeah, ‘listening’ was never my best quality!” Amy giggled, before again biting her lip and staring toward a corner of the room. “Anyway, your removal men should be here soon! Not that I’M interested, of course…”
“…Shut up,” Hayley mumbled, blushing at her flat mate’s teasing.
“I think Hayley might want to know whether your removal men are CUUUTE!” Amy giggled as Hayley’s cheeks grew redder.
“…I wouldn’t know,” Sophie said with a smug grin. “I’m not interested either, hehe!” The three girls all shared a combined giggle, and before too long, they were helping Sophie unpack the boxes that the removal men had dropped off in the flat.
Sophie tried to suppress her embarrassment as her new friends opened each box of clothes and cooed happily at the brand-new dresses and skirts they carefully hung up in her wardrobe, though her embarrassment soon turned to anxiety when Amy opened her third box of clothes, only to discover ‘James’s jeans, shirts and t-shirts within.
“…Ah,” Sophie said, biting her lip and subconsciously averting her gaze in the same manner Amy had earlier. “Yeah, those…”
“Hey- Sophie, Sophie…” Hayley said soothingly. “It’s okay, okay?”
“Umm… Okay?” Sophie asked. “I mean, they- they’re-“
“You said yourself earlier, you’re not sure yet,” Amy said softly, leaning in to give Sophie a gentle hug- a gesture that the brown-haired girl happily reciprocated. “Don’t worry about it. Everyone transitions in their own way. We won’t say any more about it, okay, Hayley?”
“Of course!” Hayley said with a smile as she too gave Sophie a gentle hug. "And if we do end up meeting... I dunno. Simon? Sean?"
"...James," Sophie mumbled.
"'James'!?" Amy exclaimed, before grimacing. "Eesh, sorry, didn't mean it like that... It's just- you know? 'Sophie' is about as far from 'James' as it's possible to get..."
"That was- that was kinda the idea," Sophie sighed, earning yet another hug from the other two girls.
"Well whatever 'direction' you choose to go in, you'll have our support and our friendship," Amy said.
"Especially if you choose the RIGHT 'direction'!" Hayley giggled. "But, um, even if you do end up going the, um, 'wrong' way..."
"...Thanks," Sophie giggled. "I- I never, you know, had any 'real' friends before. I mean, friends I could, you know, open up to..."
"That's because BOYS suck at things like that," Amy explained. "Everyone, male or female, should have at least one true, proper female friend they can talk with whenever they need to."
"And lucky for you, you now have two!" Hayley chuckled.
"Even though we've only known each other for a few hours?" Sophie asked.
"A stranger's just a friend you haven't met," Amy said with a smug grin. "The wisdom of the great Marge Simpson, hehe!"
"And to quote another wise, gorgeous, girly and, most importantly of all, transgendered woman..." Hayley said with a smirk.
"You can never have too many friends!" Amy, Hayley and, much to her own surprise, Sophie all cheered simultaneously.
Over the rest of the evening, Sophie got to know more about her two new flat mates, and quickly grew to like both of them, and they grew to like her- especially when she unboxed the Nintendo Switch she’d brought to the flat and engaged them in a marathon session of Mario Kart.
However, as she was removing her make-up to get ready for bed, the image of 'James' reappearing in her mirror reminded Sophie that no matter how much she liked the two women, how attached to them she became, she was always going to be lying to their faces every time she spoke. And after she returned to her old life, her life as 'James', she'd probably lose all contact with them. And yet, in the few hours that she'd known Amy or Hayley, she'd grown closer to them than she'd done to any friend she'd ever had...
With a heavy sigh, Sophie knocked on the pub's back door, and forced a smile on her face as she was greeted by a tired-looking, dressing-gown clad Rachel.
"Oh, um, hi Sophie," Rachel said, blinking the tiredness out of her eyes. "Sorry I'm not dressed, one great thing about managing a pub is that you usually sleep in every day, heh."
"Ah..." Sophie grimaced. "Sorry- umm, sorry if I woke you..."
"Nah, needed to get up anyway," Rachel yawned. "What's up?"
"...I don't think I can do this," Sophie mumbled, earning a concerned look from Rachel. "The job. Pretending to- well, all of- all of THIS. It- it's too much."
"Have you been- umm, 'sussed'?" Rachel asked. "Have you told anyone about the tutu project?"
"No," Sophie shook her head.
"Did your flat mates, umm, I mean-" Rachel stammered.
"No," Sophie said. "They- they're great, they really are."
"No, I mean..." Rachel said, before sighing. "Are you having problems with the whole 'woman' thing?"
"...No," Sophie whispered, shaking her head. "If anything... That's the easiest part of this. Hell, it's 'Sophie' sitting here and not 'James'. Though that is because Hayley and Amy are having a sofa day today..."
"Then what exactly is the problem?" Rachel asked.
"I don't- I don't want to have to lie to them," Sophie sighed. "I don't want to tell them that I'm this 'ideal stewardess', and willing and eager to be a woman full-time when I- when I'm just pretending, you know? And I look at Hayley and Amy and- and what you say is right. They're both women. Not men pretending to be women. But just women, full stop. And I feel- I feel guilty."
"...Didn't you have these same anxieties after meeting Jess, Paige, Nat and Zoe?" Rachel asked.
"I don't have to live with them," Sophie retorted. "I can keep up the 'mask' for a dinner date. In what's supposed to be the comfort of my own home..."
"Sophie," Rachel sighed. "If you want to back out... That's okay. The project's been going on for a while now. It can wait a little while longer. I can find a journalism graduate who speaks a foreign language and has all the relevant certificates and who IS transitioning. Though obviously, that could take a while. It was nothing short of a minor miracle that I found you. But before you quit, remember that you earned this job. And I don't just mean my 'assignment', I mean the actual stewardess job itself. The bosses at Soixante-trois are VERY picky about who they hire, and believe it or not, they're ten times as picky for transgendered applicants, EU regulations be damned. If you hadn't convinced them that you were 100% committed to not only being a stewardess, but being a woman, they wouldn't have hired you. Simple as."
"Well- I guess..." Sophie mumbled.
"And it IS only for a few months," Rachel reassured the nervous woman. "Trust me, by then you'll have a TON of material for your exposé, heh!"
"If you say so," Sophie said.
"Ultimately, the decision's yours," Rachel said. "But before you decide, think about what it is YOU want. Do you want to be reporting on old ladies' hundredth birthdays for the rest of your life, or do you want to be the next Hunter S Thompson?"
"...The latter," Sophie sighed.
"He spent a year pretending to be a Hell's Angel," Rachel said, smiling smugly at Sophie's look of surprise. "Hey, I've done my homework too. I guarantee that you'll find this task a lot more pleasant than he did. But it will be difficult. But! But. I'm not going to ask you to do anything you think you simply can't do."
"Even though you yourself quit this job?" Sophie asked.
"Only you can tell what's going to be too much for you," Rachel said. "But if this is going to be too much, I need to know now so that I can set another plan in motion. Is this going to be too much?"
"I- I don't know," Sophie sighed. What Rachel was asking was difficult- but whether it was impossible was something Sophie simply couldn't say for certain.
Some parts of the task were easy. Wearing make-up and a skirt was nothing. Interacting with other women as a peer wasn't just easy, it was actually enjoyable... Right up until Sophie remembered that she couldn't do so without lying to her new friends' faces. Sophie COULD, in theory, have worked her way up the chain in a 'legitimate' way, became a junior editor, then a sub editor, then a deputy editor, then maybe even an editor... But doing that would take years, maybe even decades- and Sophie was sure that taking that road, she wouldn't make any friends as great as those she'd made in just a few days in her new life.
Then again, it was 'Sophie' they'd made friends with, and despite Hayley and Amy's reassurances, there was no telling whether or not they'd like 'James'- or whether or not they'd even forgive 'him' for his deception.
As Sophie struggled with her decision, she remembered the piece of advice her father told her about the day he'd proposed to his future wife- Sophie's mother. One simple sentence- 'you always regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did'. If Sophie didn't take the opportunity in front of her, she knew she'd regret it for the rest of her life.
"Let's do this," Sophie said, earning a smile from the blonde woman stood next to her.
"Alright then!" Abbey giggled, balancing her blue pillbox hat atop her head as Sophie made her final adjustments to the tight skirt and fitted jacket that made up her uniform. "Just remember lesson one- the customer is always right. ESPECIALLY if they're an obnoxious, sexist, pig-headed jerk!"
"...And management?" Sophie hesitantly asked.
"Ugh," Abbey spat. "I can tell you a few horror stories THERE!"
"I'd like to hear a few," Sophie said with a confident smile as she took her seat in the small classroom with her mentor the other new hires. Six months as a woman? Sophie thought to herself. This will totally be worth it. Maybe I'll even stick around for longer...
Sophie tried to smile as she took her seat in the vast, modern Wembley Stadium. It wasn’t the first time that she’d been to Wembley to see a game- from a certain perspective, anyway. From a different perspective, it was undoubtedly the first time that ‘Sophie Connelly’ had ever set foot in the legendary stadium, something that the English girl found impossible to forget as she sat down and felt her tights begin to sag while her thong rode even higher between her buttocks.
The last time Sophie had visited Wembley, ‘she’ had worn a pair of jeans and an England football shirt. Today, however, she was wearing a knee-length black denim skirt and a smart black long-sleeved top. The last time she’d visited Wembley, ‘she’ went with ‘her’ father. Sophie knew that if the old man could see her now, he’d be in for one hell of a shock- and that was before he saw the people accompanying her.
“These are awesome seats!” Amy giggled as she sat down next to Sophie and straightened her short pleated skirt.
“They’re not bad,” Sophie replied. And they weren’t- just a few seats to the side of the halfway line and fewer than ten rows back made them some the best seats available, something Sophie tried to remind herself as she sat back and tried to relax.
“Careful of your posture,” Abbey teased as she sat down on the other side of Sophie. “Don’t want Alana seeing and insisting that your corset is tied extra-tight tomorrow, do you?”
“Trust me,” Sophie chuckled, taking a deep breath and savouring the feeling of her uncompressed lungs filling with air. “That’s the LAST thing I want!”
As her friends took their seats, Sophie mused on the previous month of her life, and the unusual shape it had taken- in more ways than one.
In the six weeks since she’d started work for Soixante-Trois Airlines, Sophie had had the chance to wear male clothing on precisely two occasions- both of which were when she went to visit her parents at home, who were naturally full of questions about ‘James’s new job. Sophie tried her best to bluff her way through any questions her parents had, which was made easier by the fact that the previous six week she’d spent living as ‘Sophie’ had given her ample opportunity to practise the art of deception.
As far as her flat mates and her colleagues were concerned, Sophie was what she said she was- a transgendered woman who had yet to be prescribed hormone replacement therapy but who was living and working full-time as a woman. Questions about Sophie’s early experiences of femininity, her early ‘experiments’ with crossdressing and her favourite aspects of her new life came thick and fast, and Sophie tried her hardest to answer them positively, explaining how she’d always fantasised about being a girl when she was younger, how she always envied the girls at school in their short skirts, when in fact she’d had no such fantasies… And every day she got up and opened her very feminine underwear drawer, she cringed.
Sophie had tried to convince herself that she was just doing a job, that clothes were clothes, and what she’d be wearing would just be the same bits of fabric she wore normally, just cut into slightly different shapes. The reality, however, was very different. The sensations provided by the different garments, from the soft lace of the underwear caressing her skin, to the corset encircling her waist, to the nylon fabric of her stockings hugging her legs served to remind Sophie with every step she took that her life was now very, very different from what it was. The make-up she wore on her face, and the care she had to take with her hair reminded her that the image she projected now mattered infinitely more than it had before, which led to the final, and most uncomfortable aspect of her transformation- the way she was treated by others.
Every day that Sophie walked through the concourse of Heathrow Airport in her tight skirt, translucent hosiery and high heels, she felt the stares of every man in the building burning into her. She knew exactly what they were thinking, as they were thoughts that she herself had been guilty of in the past- but thoughts that she didn’t dare think anymore. She’d imagined that she’d be a professional woman in her role as a flight attendant, but she quickly realised that the phrase ‘trolley dolly’ was far more appropriate- especially the ‘dolly’ part, every time Sophie took her place in the pre-flight safety briefing and performed the demonstrations with a fake smile on her painted face and a blank stare in her heavily made-up eyes.
The one consolation to Sophie was that material for her expose was coming thick and fast. From anecdotes gathered from unknowing colleagues to first-hand experience of both customers and management, her files were filling up fast, and both Rachel and Amelie- the only two to know about Sophie’s ‘true identity’- were ecstatic about the progress she was making. What Sophie soon discovered, though, was she could easily write ten times more about an ‘outsider’s perspective’ of life as a woman than she could about life as a stewardess.
“…Still say you should’ve worn the costume,” a familiar Scottish voice said as she took her seat in front of Sophie, snapping the English girl out of her ‘trance’.
“I’d have looked silly!” Jessica giggled in response.
“You’d have looked sexy,” Paige retorted.
“Well- yes, yes I would,” Jessica said with a smug grin as she linked her fingers with her fiancée’s. “But, you know? They might have mistaken me for an ACTUAL cheerleader, hehe!”
“And I’d have needed therapy for the rest of my life,” a young man with an American accent, who Sophie recognised as Jessica’s brother Aaron, said. “Still, if it’d help the Ravens win…”
“The Ravens weren’t originally from Baltimore, were they?” Paige asked.
“Nope,” Aaron replied. “They used to be the Cleveland Browns, but their owner packed up and moved to Baltimore in '96, and a different 'Cleveland Browns' team took their place a few years later."
"So... Baltimore just bought a pre-made team?" Amy asked, leaning forward to inject herself into the conversation.
"Basically, yeah," Aaron shrugged.
“The team they’re playing,” Jessica’s sister Hayley said, “the Jaguars, are always being linked with a move to London, actually.”
“Hardly seems fair to people living in Jacksonville,” Paige mused.
“It’s not like it is over here with local teams,” Jessica said. “Most teams in the major leagues are franchises, companies with, you know, a corporate identity. A bit like if Soixante-Trois got bought by Virgin or, you know, relocated their business entirely.”
“And it’s not like it doesn’t happen over here,” Natalie said. “Wimbledon moving to Milton Keynes, for example.”
“Or the women’s team moving from Lincoln to Nottingham,” Hayley (Hayley Fisher, Sophie’s flat mate) interjected. “It’s still weird though, just suddenly changing identity like that.” Adopting a whole new identity? Sophie thought to herself. ‘Weird’ didn’t even begin to describe it.
Sophie tried to relax and engross herself in the pre-game show and in the match itself- she’d read up on the rules of American Football (and had played the Madden NFL videogames a lot as a child) so she was able to follow the game, but every time she went to talk to her American friends about the game, she found herself pausing. Would a girl- an English girl, at that- really be as knowledgeable about American Football as Sophie was? And how would she justify discussing it, especially with Jessica, a woman she barely knew?
Even as the party was leaving the stadium at the end of the game, Sophie remained quiet, not wanting to intrude on a conversation she felt she didn’t really belong to- especially when the topic abruptly changed to something much more ‘intimate’.
“So, how’s Anna-Jade doing?” Jessica asked Abbey, who responded with a grin “Know she’d have loved to have been here today.”
“She’s doing much better,” the Essex native replied. “Kinda, you know, terrifying how much pain she was in at first.”
“Don’t tell me it put you, of all people, off of the idea?” Paige teased.
“HELL no,” Abbey giggled. “The sooner I get it done, the better!”
“Well, just remember who’s next in line,” Paige said, earning a loud sigh from many of the women around her. Despite her best efforts, Sophie couldn’t help but let her natural journalistic instinct override her desire to stay silent.
“Next in line for what?” Sophie asked, internally cringing the second the words left her mouth.
“Well, for SRS,” Jessica explained, frowning in confusion at the blank look on Sophie’s face. “Also known as GRS? Genital reassignment surgery?”
“Aka ‘the big chop’,” Natalie interjected, giggling as her transgendered friends all groaned at her.
“It’s not a ‘chop’,” Paige retorted. “It’s a-“
“I think we’d better not go into details,” Jessica said softly. “Not when we’re about to take my family out to dinner!”
“Thank god,” Jessica’s sister said, making the whole group laugh as Jessica, her fiancée and her family all split from the main group and headed toward the people carrier Jessica’s parents had hired for their trip to London.
“…Everyone want to come back to ours, then?” Abbey asked. “Say hi to Anna-Jade, see how she’s doing in person?”
“Sure,” Natalie replied. “Seems like ages since I last talked to her. And I don’t think any of our newbies have met her yet, have you?”
“I did a couple of flights with her while I was in probation,” Amy replied. “But I know for a fact she went off before either of our two newest newbies started…”
“…I know I haven’t met her yet,” Hayley, Sophie’s flat mate, shrugged.
“Or, umm, or me,” Sophie said, trying not to cringe as she suddenly realised that her chances of getting away from the group and relaxing at her home just went straight out of the window.
Sure enough, just over half an hour later, the remaining members of the group- all seven of them- crammed onto the doorstep outside the small London flat, all of them giggling excitedly as Abbey reached into her handbag for her keys. All but one, that is- Sophie tried her hardest not to fidget as she found herself surrounded by the unquestionably, unapologetically feminine young women.
“Hellooooo!” Abbey called as she entered the flat, before sighing as she saw her flat mate rise from the sofa to greet the crowd. “What- no, just- don’t strain yourself, for god’s sake!”
“It’s not my fucking legs they cut off,” Anna-Jade protested, straightening her loose, knee-length skirt as she slowly hobbled toward the group. “What, are we having a fucking party or something?”
“Sophie, Hayley, meet Anna-Jade,” Abbey said with a long, sarcastic sigh. “I forgot to ask whether or not either of you were offended by someone who can fit the F-word into literally every sentence she says.”
“Nice to meet you both,” Anna-Jade said, exchanging gentle hugs and air kisses with the two young women. “Ah, fuck it, you brought the other ginge as well?”
“Nice to see you again too, you potato sucking slut!” Amy replied, prompting Sophie to look on in confusion as the two women giggled devilishly and shared a long, obviously genuine hug.
“Ahh, I’m actually glad you’re all here,” Anna-Jade said as she gently lowered herself back down onto her sofa. “Missed, you know, ‘this’, all the girls together, old friends and new… Even if Jess and Paige do think they’re too good for us, heh!”
“It’s not really their fault, honey,” Annabelle said in her distinctive southern drawl as she sat down next to Anna-Jade. “Their family-“
“Yeah, I know, I know,” Anna-Jade said with a grin. “I’ll catch up with them when I get the chance, heh. Assuming I actually get the three months I’m entitled to, anyway.”
“Ugh, can’t believe the company are pressuring you back to work already when you can barely walk,” Zoe spat, piquing Sophie’s curiosity.
“I- I thought the three months was guaranteed in the contract?” Sophie asked.
“Ah, you can tell she’s new,” Anna-Jade teased, giggling as the Englishwoman blushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like THAT…”
“The company likes saying one thing and then doing another,” Natalie explained. “And they’re really not above using emotional blackmail- like, saying ‘we’re really understaffed’ or ‘your colleagues will have to work extra shifts to pick up the slack’, that sort of thing.”
“Both of which I’ve heard in the last two months,” Anna-Jade said.
“Of course, if we had a trade union…” Natalie said, making most of the occupants of the room roll their eyes.
“Thank you for that, Miss fucking Corbyn!” Anna-Jade snorted as Sophie grew more and more curious about the Irishwoman’s tale- and how valuable it could be to her expose…
“What- what exactly have they said to you?” Sophie asked, surreptitiously reaching into her handbag and switching on the recording device she had hidden in the bag for just such an occasion.
“Ugh, every-fucking-thing,” Anna-Jade spat, before smiling as Sophie sat down next to her. “Told me straight to my face that this is counted as sick leave and as such will be counted against me if I ever apply for promotion- which has got to go against some law or another. Which will effectively end my career as I’m 29 in January, and according to Antoine fucking Masson, you can’t push a trolley or, more importantly, look sexy doing it if your age begins with the number ‘3’.”
“Yeah, I’d heard that,” Sophie said.
“Basically, Masson and his arse-lickers resent actually having to pay us to do their hard work for them,” Anna-Jade said. “Nat the commie would have you believe this is a common thing, employers saying ‘you should be grateful just to have a job at all’ and using that as an excuse to abuse their employees. Never mind the fact that in the last couple of years, application numbers for the airline have SHARPLY dropped.”
“Even- even after the reality show?” Sophie asked.
“If anything, that was what made it drop,” Anna-Jade chuckled. “Masson likes to pretend he’s this super-liberal friend to the working class when in reality, he makes Trump look like- well, Corbyn.”
“He can’t be THAT bad, surely?” Sophie asked.
“Well- maybe not,” Anna-Jade said. “But how many airline owners do you know insist on their stewardesses being under 30, wearing corsets, high heels and the tightest skirts imaginable on all flights? I’m just thankful that even post-op, I’m not allowed to do grey route. Heard of girls actually passing out mid-flight over there.”
“Ugh, grey route was DESPICABLE,” Zoe spat as she sat down next to the two girls. “The skirt was just as tight, but the length of your ankles so it was even harder to walk, the heels were lower but they were boots that covered all of your leg bottoms to your knees, the corset was just as tight, you had to wear a skin tight bodysuit and- I am turning you on, am I not?”
“Fuck you,” Anna-Jade playfully retorted as the Frenchwoman giggled. “Seriously though, I’ve been living full-time as a woman for over three years now and I’d still find a uniform like that sexy, fun to wear… But not in, you know, forty degree heat.”
“Yeah, walking around Dubai dressed like that sounds like medieval torture,” Sophie said. “Reminds me a bit of Trooping the Colour, the fainting guardsmen.”
“It’s exactly like that,” Zoe said.
“Sure, the south of Spain in summer can be just as bad,” Anna-Jade said. “I’ve known a few girls drop on those flights too, T-girls too who’ve just started oestrogen and are taking time to get used to it… And yes, I was one of those people.”
“Se- seriously?” Sophie asked.
“Yep,” Anna-Jade said. “August 2014, been with the company six months, just started HRT, I felt dizzy on a flight from Paris to Malaga, sat down for a bit and the next thing I know, I’m waking up in a bed in the first aid room at the airport.”
“Jeez,” Sophie said.
“Worst part was that the company then said it’d be counted as a day of sickness as I didn’t complete half the fucking flight,” Anna-Jade spat. “Sure I lost a promotion because of that. Reckon that’s why they’re pressuring me so much as well, think I’m one of these people who pulls sickies just because I once fainted mid-flight…”
“That’s appalling,” Sophie sighed.
“Welcome to the wonderful world of Soixante-Trois Airlines,” Anna-Jade said with a snort of sarcastic laughter.
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled, internally grinning at the material she was getting for her expose.
“’Course, if I shoved my nose up the arse of any male member of the Masson family, I’d probably be fine,” Anna-Jade laughed, making Sophie even more excited. “And yes, that includes ‘le connard’.”
“Is this- is this Antoine Masson’s nephew you’re talking about?” Sophie asked.
“Second cousin once removed,” Anna-Jade corrected. “But same difference, yeah. If you ask me it’s no coincidence our boss at the London hub got her job within a month of shacking up with him.”
“I thought Alana got the job before that?” Zoe asked.
“Still explains why she overlooks his obvious, well, you know,” Anna-Jade said.
“There’s a part of me that almost wants to meet him now,” Sophie chuckled. “All the stories I’ve heard…”
“If you do, take some fucking de-greaser with you,” Anna-Jade snorted. “Better yet, don’t let him get within ten feet of you!”
“Or one hundred feet,” Zoe said with a giggle.
“I- I doubt he’d be that interested in me anyway, umm,” Sophie mumbled. “Because I’m, umm, you know…”
“No need to be so shy,” Anna-Jade giggled. “You just heard me announce to the whole room I just had SRS for god’s sake. And Jacques was into me- well, so to speak- long before that. That’s probably his one saving grace- he chases everything in a skirt, but isn’t too fussed what’s underneath it.”
“Unless that skirt is part of a Little Bo Peep costume,” Zoe said, making Anna-Jade almost wet herself laughing.
“God, don’t remind me of that!” The Irishwoman laughed.
“Is- is this an in-joke?” Sophie asked. Something an expose might want to know about? The Englishwoman thought to herself.
“You are Rachel’s cousin, are you not?” Zoe asked. “Has she not told about, umm…”
“About- about the tutu project?” Sophie asked. “Yeah, I know about that.”
“Really?” Anna-Jade asked, surprise plastered all over her face. “And you still signed up anyway?”
“There- umm, there aren’t many employers as, you know, umm,” Sophie stammered, trying desperately to think of an excuse and cursing the fact that Rachel hadn’t come to the after party from the game. “So, umm, accommodating for trans people, you know?” Sophie took a deep breath and braced herself- she’d inevitably be fielding the same questions about her ‘transition’ that she’d already answered what felt like a million times.
“Oh- yeah, I guess that IS true,” Anna-Jade says. “Jacques’s attitude is shared through the whole company, if you say you’re a woman, then you’re a woman, no questions asked. Heh, regardless of what you’ve got under your skirt or how you got it!”
“Even for Natalie, who is not taking any steps to change her body,” Zoe said.
“There are a lot of private companies who wouldn’t be as accepting, in fairness,” Anna-Jade said. “Then again, Soixante-Trois only are because the EU would tear them a new arsehole. And no jokes about me and ‘tearing new holes’!”
“What- what’s it like?” Sophie found herself asking, only realising once the words had left her mouth that she had actually asked that question.
“…Takes a bit of getting used to!” Anna-Jade giggled, clearly comfortable discussing it with another transgendered woman.
“I can imagine,” Sophie chuckled.
“Yeah, I bet you fucking have!” Anna-Jade teased, sighing as Sophie started to blush. “I- I’m sorry if I touched a bit of a nerve there- Sophie, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied, fidgeting in her feminine clothing, which suddenly felt more uncomfortable than ever.
“There’s no need to be so shy, Sophie,” Anna-Jade said. “We ARE all girls here. Doesn’t matter what you’ve got under your skirt or what types of hormones you’ve got flowing through your veins. You tell me you’re a girl and your name’s Sophie, that’s good enough for me.”
“…Thanks,” Sophie mumbled, thankful that she was well-practised enough to unquestionably pass as a girl.
“You just started HRT, then?” Anna-Jade enquired.
“Umm… Not yet, no,” Sophie mumbled. “Only, umm, only just started-“
“Just started living full-time?” Anna-Jade asked, smiling as the Englishwoman nodded. “It’s okay. You’ll get there eventually. Within a few years you may even be sat on a rubber ring having regular dates with these things!” Sophie tried not to shiver at the sight of the long, stiff plastic rods Anna-Jade withdrew from a nearby pouch- or the thought of inserting them into a part of her anatomy that didn’t even exist.
“…Maybe!” Sophie said with as much forced enthusiasm as she could muster, before bracing herself for an evening full of questions- most of which she knew she’d end up having to answer, rather than ask…
----------
“So, how’d you like Wembley Stadium?” Paige asked her soon-to-be family as they tucked into their starter at the expensive restaurant she and Jessica had booked. “I mean, it’s not a patch on Hampden…”
“That- that’s the Scotland national stadium, right?” Jessica’s father asked.
“See?” Jessica asked with a smug grin. “You guys ARE getting to know each other!” the American woman giggled as her fiancée gave her a sly elbow to the ribs, before breaking down in a fit of giggles herself.
“And in fairness, Hampden is like a school playing field compared to some of the big American stadiums,” Paige said.
“Next time you’re over, we’ll have to take you to a game at The Bank,” Mr. Tyler said with a wide grin.
“Or if the Ravens make the Super Bowl, you can come over for that!” Aaron said, making Paige and her fiancée giggle.
“Keep dreaming, Aaron,” Jessica teased her brother, before letting out a long, happy sigh. “You know… I’m so happy we can just sit round a table and laugh like this. After everything that’s happened the last few years, the arguments… It really means so, SO much to me that we can all be together like this.”
“No matter how much we argue,” Mrs. Tyler said softly, “and no matter what gender you choose to be, you’ll always be our child, and we’ll always love you.” Jessica tried not to bristle at the use of the phrasing ‘what gender you choose to be’, but she decided not to challenge it. Jessica knew that her mother would probably never be able to fully understand what it was like to be transgendered, she’d never understand the sheer need that she- and Paige, for that matter- had to abandon their old identity in favour of the person they always wanted to be, deep down. But that was okay- Jessica didn’t need her mother to fully understand her, she just needed her to love her, and to accept her.
“You’re happy, you’re healthy, you’re making good money and you’re engaged to the girl of your dreams,” Mr. Tyler said. “No parent could ask for anything more for their child. Of course, it would be nice if we didn’t have to take a transatlantic flight every time we wanted to see you- both of you- face to face…”
“Going to be a while before Soixante-Trois goes transatlantic,” Jessica said in a voice barely louder than a mumble. “And it’s not like I’m the only one of your daughters living over a thousand miles away from home…”
“Oh- shut up!” Hayley mumbled.
“I still don’t know why you couldn’t have gone to a university on the east coast, like your brother,” Mrs. Tyler said.
“I want to be my own person, do my own thing,” Hayley replied. “And Minnesota’s got one of the best law schools in the country.”
“It’d going to be different, that big house with no children in it,” Mr. Tyler mused. “Especially with no grandchildren on the horizon…” The glance Jessica father gave her reminded the American woman that he knew exactly why she wasn’t going to produce children any time soon- or at the very least, no biological children.
“Can you- can you wait until your last child has moved out please, before going on about grandchildren?” Jessica asked, making her family chuckle. “You’re, what, 51?”
“…My sisters are both over thirty, and neither of them are married or have kids yet,” Paige interjected.
“Not really helping,” Jessica whispered, sharing a frown with her fiancée.
“Umm…” Paige mumbled. “When- when you go to Minnesota, we’ll give you the contact details of a couple of girls we met when we were there in July, they’re really friendly and I’m sure they’ll help you settle in…”
“I think they recently got engaged too,” Jessica said. “Wonder what people now would think if they knew that someone who’ll be president thirty years from now was mentored by a lesbian couple, one of whom was transgendered?”
“Oh- shut up!” Hayley protested. “I’m studying law, not politics…”
“Like Bill Clinton and FDR?” Paige teased.
“You- you really do know your American history, don’t you?” Aaron asked, making his future sister-in-law blush.
“Aye, I love everything about your country, you know that,” Paige giggled. “Especially its daughters, hehe!”
“And all but one of its sons, right?” Jessica teased, giggling as Paige loudly sighed and rolled her mismatched eyes.
“…I’m not taking a drink this time, you brought him up!” The Scottish woman snarled, earning looks of confusion from her future in-laws.
“Normally, every time Paige starts talking politics, we make her take a drink,” Jessica explained, making her parents and her siblings giggle.
“I know an office that could use a rule like that,” Mr. Tyler chuckled. “One of the best things about London: No ‘Make American Great Again’ signs anywhere.”
“Maybe you could get your office to install a ‘Trump Jar’?” Aaron suggested. “Our dorm has one, it was inspired by that show Jessica watches, with the Australian host.”
“And the really cute guy with the curly hair,” Hayley giggled.
“I’ll have to suggest it when we get back,” Mr. Tyler chuckled.
“I know Rachel’s bar has a ‘Masson Jar’ in it,” Jessica giggled. “Kinda makes it tricky to talk about work there, heh.”
“Think that was the idea,” Paige teased her fiancée, who responded with a giggle. “Should have them on some flights, heh!”
“Ugh, especially the Paris ones,” Jessica sighed. “Which is where I’ll be going all this week.”
“Well, I’m sure thing will go just as smoothly as usual, especially with you in charge of the flights!” Mrs. Tyler said with a proud grin. “You don’t mentor anyone now that you’re a flight supervisor, do you?”
“Umm, not anymore,” Jessica said. “And Paige didn’t take a trainee this time round but she’s on the list for November. Though when you’re supervisor, you do fly with a lot of the girls who are still in probation.”
“You got any of the new girls this week?” Paige asked. “On any of your flights?”
“Yeah, Tuesday I’m flying with Sophie, Rachel’s cousin,” Jessica said. “Sweet girl. Obviously still struggling a little to settle in.”
“With the company, you mean?” Mrs. Tyler asked.
Yeah,” Jessica replied. “…And, kinda, you know, in other ways too…”
----------
Sophie groaned as her alarm clock woke her just before 5am, signalling the start of another working week. After swinging her smooth, hairless legs out of her bed, she caught a glimpse of her reflection in her bedroom mirror and let out a long sigh. Even without make-up, if she’d been asked to guess which gender she was, she would have said ‘female’ a hundred times out of a hundred- a misconception definitely helped by the glossy red polish on all twenty of her nails and the soft fabric and feminine cut of the vest and shorts she wore to bed.
As the morning progressed, Sophie found herself trying to contain her shudders as every action she took pushed her further and further down the path of femininity. From showering with various scented shampoos and shower gels, to shaving off any stray body hair with her Ladyshave, to pulling on her groin-flattening thong and padded bra, to knocking on Amy’s door and enlisting her help to tighten her company-mandated corset, Sophie felt herself being smothered more and more by her assumed identity, but the most damning thing to Sophie was that the more she did this new morning routine, the more normal it felt to her. The sensations of the clothes covering her body, her altered gait from walking in high heels, the smell of her overtly feminine apartment, walking through Heathrow Airport with the eyes of every male commuters on her, getting changed into her uniform in front of other women, transgendered and cisgendered alike… All of it, much to Sophie’s horror, was becoming commonplace, like ‘Sophie’ was who she really was, and ‘James’ was a fake identity she assumed at weekends…
“…Our stewardesses for today are Jemma,” Carly- the flight supervisor- announced to the passengers in the cabin. “Paige, and Sophie. Take off will be in five minutes. Flight duration today will be one hour and twenty minutes. Again, I'd like to thank you for choosing Soixante-Trois airlines, and I hope you all have a comfortable and enjoyable flight to Dublin!” Sophie took as deep a breath as her corset would allow, before adjusting her blue pillbox hat and sitting down, smoothing her straight blue skirt over her nylon-covered thighs.
“Hey,” Sophie heard a strong Scottish accent whisper from the seat next to her. “It- it’s Sophie, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied, smiling involuntarily at the grin- and the mismatched blue and green eyes- on her face. “P- Paige, right? You were at the game yesterday…”
“Aye,” Paige replied. “Had to skip out after the game though, dinner with the future in-laws, heh!” Sophie giggled as Paige waved her left hand, and more importantly, the pale band around the third finger. "Just pretend our uniform code isn't so strict and that there's a diamond ring there, hehe!"
“Nice,” Sophie said with as much fake enthusiasm as she could muster. “How long are they in town?”
“Flew back last night,” Paige said. “Aaron’s got college, Hayley’s in her final year of high school so they can’t afford too much time away. Obviously they DIDN’T fly Soixante-Trois heh. Though that is only because they don’t go to America, of course!”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied. “Paige, do- do you know Anna-Jade?”
“Heh, worked with her for three years and lived with her in Paris AND London, so I’d say so!” Paige replied with a giggle. “Did you see her last night? How’s she doing?”
“She’s doing fine,” Sophie replied. “Swearing a lot, though.”
“Ah, so back to normal, then?” Paige asked with a giggle. “Good to know, as it’s my turn next!”
“Your… ‘turn’?” Sophie asked, before her eyes went wide as the Scottish girl mimed a ‘scissoring’ motion. “…Oh.”
“Yep,” Paige said. “Might- might have to wait until we’re NOT in front of passengers before talking about this in any further detail, hehe!”
“There- there’s no need,” Sophie said, gripping the armrests of her chair as the jet thundered down the runway at take-off thrust. “I mean, it’s sensitive, right?”
“I’m a girl, you’re a girl,” Paige shrugged. “And from what I understand from Jess and a few others, you’re you know, not only new to the company… I know- I know you’re technically Abbey’s newbie, but, you know? With ‘great experience’ comes great responsibility, that sort of thing.”
“I- I don’t get it…” Sophie mumbled.
“…I’ll explain when we’re in the air,” Paige said with a wink.
A few minutes later, once the ‘fasten seat belts’ light had extinguished, Paige and Sophie headed to the kitchen area at the rear of the plane, where Sophie began boiling kettles and preparing snacks for the plane’s passengers while Paige began unsecuring her drinks trolley.
“What I was saying,” Paige said with a warm smile, “is that I’ve been taking oestrogen now for almost two and a half years. I know what to expect, all the steps to take, all the hurdles you’ll go through in your transition… If you ever have any questions, all you need to do is ask.”
“…Thanks,” Sophie said with a shy grin. “I- I think I’ll be okay, though.” Especially as a few months from now, ‘Sophie’ will just be a memory, the Englishwoman thought to herself- a thought she had every time she felt her feminine life starting to overwhelm her.
“Offer’s always on the table,” Paige said. “A very wise, not to mention sexy, not to mention transgendered woman said that you can never have too many friends, after all!”
“Yeah,” Sophie nervously chuckled.
“And god knows,” Paige sighed. “Working for this place, you’ll need all the friends you can get, heh.”
“The- the tutu project?” Sophie asked.
“How- how the fuck did you know about that?” Paige whispered, before nodding as a wave of realisation washed over her face. “…Of course, you’re Rachel’s cousin, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, that’s how I found out about it,” Sophie replied, happy not to have to lie to the Scottish woman. “I heard something about ‘Little Bo Peep’?” Sophie looked on with a puzzled look on her face as Paige almost bent double with laughter.
“Ask your cousin to show you the video if she hasn’t already,” Paige said. “And before you ask, yes, the costumes are real- ALL of them, hehe!” Great, another thing for me to dread wearing, Sophie thought to herself.
“Will do,” Sophie said. “Didn’t realise the tutu project was so, well…”
“Secretive?” Paige asked. “Kinda need to be.”
“I was thinking more ‘organised’,” Sophie said. “Like, you know, a proper ‘gang’, that sort of thing.”
“Or a union?” Paige asked, making Sophie smirk as she remembered Natalie’s words from the previous night. “Got to stand up for ourselves somehow. You been to Paris yet?”
“Umm, once, when I was observing,” Sophie replied. “Doing it, you know, ‘properly’ tomorrow.”
“They have become REALLY bad lately,” Paige sighed. “They’re pretty much exclusively used to ferry friends and colleagues of Masson back and forth, while he builds up his London base, anyway. On those flight the customer isn’t just right, they’re fucking GOD.” The Scottish woman let out a long sigh as the call light illuminated within the cabin. “Ugh, speaking of… We’ll talk in a bit, Soph.”
“Sure,” Sophie said as Paige pushed the heavy trolley out into the cabin. Sophie allowed herself an internal smirk as she watched the Scottish girl go- she’d known that Paige and her close circle of friends had been members of the tutu project, but now that they knew that she knew about it, she hoped it would mean that they’d be more happy to open up to her and give her a LOT more material to work with.
However, for the rest of the flights to and from Dublin, all Paige was interested was talking about was her transition and Sophie’s ‘transition’. The Englishwoman fielded questions from her Scottish colleague about her counselling sessions, the pros and cons of HRT, and even a description of the recovery process for SRS, which, when combined with the turbulence on the plane, caused Sophie to start to feel queasy. Any questions about the tutu project were quickly glossed over by Paige, frustrating any hope Sophie had of gaining more material for her expose.
Nonetheless, as they disembarked the plane, Sophie was left with the definite impression that she’d made a new friend. Paige had opened up to Sophie like they’d been old friends, and not once had she felt awkward around her, not once had Paige treated Sophie as anything than a fully-fledged female. However, with every passing minute, Sophie felt herself growing more and more awkward- though she couldn’t tell if it was because of the way Paige was perceiving her, or because she was afraid of what the Scottish girl would think if she learned ‘the truth’ about her…
“Thank you for flying with Soixante-Trois Airlines!” Sophie said with an enthusiastic squeak as the numerous passengers disembarked in front of her, barely acknowledging her existence.
“Thank you, young ‘lady’,” an older woman said, looking disinterestedly at Sophie as she walked through the tunnel connecting the plane to the airport. Sophie kept her fake, plastic smile plastered to her face as the passengers disembarked, but once the last one was out of sight, she let out a long sigh- and much to her surprise, so did her new friend.
“I heard what that woman said,” Paige grumbled. “Don’t take it to heart, okay?”
“Why do they even fly with the airline if they think that way about transgendered people?” Sophie asked.
“Heh, I wondered the same thing myself for a long time,” Paige chuckled. “Then I found out the answer, and you’ll LOVE it.”
“Go on,” Sophie asked, her journalistic instincts tingling at the possibility of more information.
“It’s so ironic,” Paige laughed. “Most of Soixante-Trois’s customers are corporate, businesses making block bookings for regular commuters and corporate getaways, that sort of thing.”
“Yes…” Sophie prompted.
“If any of these businesses threatened to withdraw their custom,” Paige said, barely suppressing her giggle, “Soixante-Trois would simply threaten to report them to the EU on the grounds of discrimination.”
“What- really?” Sophie asked.
“Yep,” Paige said. “The same company that treats us like disposable Barbie dolls is only too happy to ride to our defence the second it affects their profit margins. And not one second before.”
“Has this ever happened?” Sophie asked. “Have they ever made good on that threat?”
“Never had to,” Paige shrugged. “Reckon everyone’s scared of the negative publicity, heh. And it’s only on certain routes, red route’s usually better as it’s full of holidaymakers and families. And there’s another less ‘official’ reason why I reckon everyone keeps flying with us.”
“Go on…” Sophie said in a teasing voice.
“Because there are middle-aged men out there who get off on the idea of young quote-unquote men dressing up as sexy stewardesses and serving their every whim,” Paige snorted. “Maybe repressing something, I dunno.”
“Or they get off on the idea of demeaning us,” Sophie mumbled.
“Uh- no,” Paige retorted with a snort of laughter. “No, no, no, no, no. No one is fucking well demeaning me!”
“Yeah- but, umm, you know,” Sophie mumbled. “They might see it…?”
“They can see whatever they want, I don’t care,” Paige said defiantly. “First time I put on this uniform, I wasn’t even on hormones yet. But it gave me the kind of confidence ‘Paul’ never, ever had. I’m sexy and I SO know it. When I take the uniform off, I go home, snog my fiancée- my also transgendered and female fiancée- change into a comfy short skirt- about as normal as it’s possible for clothing to get- before making dinner, eating dinner, spending the evening cuddled up on the sofa watching Netflix and heading to bed.”
“…Sounds like most people’s evening?” Sophie replied, musing that for her, the short skirt was also becoming an increasingly normal part of her evening routine.
“Exactly,” Paige said. “But I’m sure some people reckon we get shoved into a box or something, or spend the whole evening weeping at the slightest criticism or sneer or something.”
“Maybe a customer service role ISN’T for you?” Sophie asked, making the Scottish girl giggle.
“Oh, I don’t mind customer SERVICE,” Paige said. “It’s the customers who kinda ruin it, hehe!” Sophie smiled as she and the rest of the cabin crew finished the post-flight checks, before heading back to the locker room to change into their commuting clothes. As always, Sophie was forced to smirk at the total comfort the other women- all of whom were either genetic women or on HRT- had when stripping down to their underwear in front of her, a comfort that was slowly growing in Sophie herself as she removed her uniform to expose the bra, thong and corset covering her body- something that mere weeks ago would likely have induced a panic attack in her.
Sophie’s ‘new normal’ continued when she exchanged gentle hugs with Paige and her other colleagues before heading to the nearest tube station, which ferried her back to the small London flat that she called ‘home’. Sophie let out a long sigh as she opened the front door of the flat, both at the relief of finally being home, and the sound of a loud, excited discussion coming from the living room.
“Hey girls!” Sophie said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster as she entered the living room, though her tiredness was plain to see for her friends.
“Hey girl,” Amy replied. “Now THAT is the sound of someone who’s been badly overworked today, hehe!”
“Good guess,” Sophie said, sitting down on the sofa next to Hayley and letting out a long, happy sigh as she slipped off her high-heeled shoes.
“Bet you never thought you’d get sick of heels, eh?” Hayley asked with a giggle.
“…No,” Sophie replied, chuckling to disguise her lie.
“Soixante-Trois Airlines,” Amy announced dramatically. “The only employer that can make even trannies fed up of women’s clothing! Well, apart from skirts, obviously. And hose.”
“And lacy underwear,” Hayley said.
“And make-up and mail polish,” Amy continued. “If they just did away with the corsets and gave us lower heels to wear on flights, it’d be the perfect employer!”
“…Apart from the customers, right?” Sophie asked, earning giggles from her flat mates.
“Ah, not ANOTHER moron?” Amy asked, making Sophie blush.
“As they were disembarking,” Sophie replied. “Said the phrase ‘young lady’, with the emphasis-“
“Yeah, not hard to guess,” Amy sighed. “I get that a lot, even with being 5’ 4” and very, VERY cute, hehe!”
“A lot of genetic girls get it too,” Hayley said. “Doesn’t make it any less inexcusable. Of course, if my doctor would just prescribe me oestrogen…”
“Ah, here we go,” Amy sighed. “You know this sort of thing doesn’t happen overnight. Took me two months before I got my prescription, Soph isn’t on them either…”
“Doesn’t mean I need it any less!” Hayley protested. Sophie took a deep breath as she rose from the sofa to change out of her commuting attire, knowing full well exactly what was going to be said over the course of the following ten minutes. Hayley would complain about her lack of hormones, Amy would remind Hayley that transformations are slow by their very nature, Hayley would complain about it hindering her chances to get a gender recognition certificate, Amy would remind her that she doesn’t have one either… Sophie had been dragged into the argument far too many times- by both women- and on each occasion she’d felt more uncomfortable than she’d ever felt in her whole life. And as Sophie noted as she slowly unlaced her corset, there was definitely a lot of competition for that ‘honour’.
When Sophie emerged from her bedroom she wasn’t surprised to find that the argument was still raging, but she was surprised when it almost immediately stopped as she plopped herself back down on the sofa.
“…What?” Sophie asked, tensing up as her flat mates regarded her with confused, almost judgemental stares.
“What we were saying about getting fed up of women’s clothing,” Amy said, making Sophie roll her eyes.
“This IS women’s clothing,” Sophie sighed, gesturing to her pink hoodie and grey sweat pants and preparing to put on one of her regular ‘acts’. “Do you know how you can tell?”
“Is it…” Amy replied, the smile returning to her face. “Because it’s infinitely more comfortable than BOYs’ clothing in every imaginable way?”
“Got it in one,” Sophie said with a smug grin- even as she was forced to admit to herself that Amy was right- the lounge wear was far more comfortable than anything ‘James’ had owned, and even when ‘Sophie’ was a memory, she could easily visualise ‘James’ lounging around in the same hoodie and trousers.
“It’s not good for your skin to leave make-up on too long anyway,” Hayley concurred, playfully brushing a stray hair out of Sophie’s face even as the brown-haired girl protested.
“Even though with the amount the company makes up wear, you need a jackhammer to remove it!” Amy giggled.
“Yeah,” Sophie giggled, before frowning as an awkward silence filled the room. “…So, then? Who won this time?”
“Ugh, there are NEVER any winners in THAT argument,” Amy moaned.
“There might be if there was, say, someone to break the tie…” Hayley said, staring intently at Sophie, who simply sighed in response.
“Forget it,” Sophie said, making her flat mates giggle- something that caused her to involuntarily smirk.
“And besides, it’s not like we don’t support you, right?” Amy asked.
“Umm- yeah, that’s right!” Sophie concurred.
“You’ll get oestrogen eventually, Hayley,” Amy said softly. “You just need to stop pushing it so much, relax, let it happen. Learn to love life the way you are.”
“I know,” the 19 year old woman sighed.
“Same goes for you, Sophie,” Amy said, making the brown-haired woman’s eyes go wide.
“Umm… Okay, I guess…” Sophie mumbled.
“I know, I know,” Amy giggled. “It’s not a priority for you right now. But sooner or later, the call of the girl will draw you in and there’ll be no going back…” Fat chance, Sophie thought to herself.
“I know I should be patient,” Hayley moaned, curling her legs underneath her and snuggling as deep into the sofa as she could go. “I- I guess I’m just stressed out about my dad, you know, I mean, he- sorry, she- she’s been on oestrogen for god knows how long…” As Hayley began talking about her dad, Sophie couldn’t help but notice that Amy immediately started fidgeting, looking extremely uncomfortable with the topic of conversation.
“Do- do you reckon we’re, like, a proper ‘gang’?” Amy asked. “Not in, like, the guns and violence kind of way, but like the Angels, I mean?”
“Umm, I guess,” Hayley mumbled, confused by the sudden change in the topic of conversation.
“But what should we call ourselves?” Amy asked. “We’ve got to have, like, a group name, right?”
“…Do we really?” Sophie asked, bemused by the sudden turn the conversation had taken.
“Team ASH,” Amy said with a confident grin. “As in Amy, Sophie, Hayley, right?”
“Makes sense,” Hayley says. “Putting Soph in the middle to keep the two of us apart…”
“Ah, where would we be without you, Soph?” Amy asked, making Sophie blush and embarrassedly giggle.
“Ah, don’t feel too bad,” Hayley reassured the brown-haired woman. “That’s just Amy admitting that you’re maturer than both of us put together!”
“By miles,” Amy concurred.
“As compliments go…” Sophie teased, before shrugging. “Meh, I’ll take it!” Sophie let out a long, genuine giggle with her flat mates as she felt herself relax more and more. When Sophie went to bed at the end of the evening, she had to admit to herself that she’d truly enjoyed the evening, and that regardless of what happened in the future, she hoped she’d be able to remain friends with her flat mates- though whether or not they’d want to be a member of ‘Team AJH’ was another matter entirely…
The following morning, Sophie had her usual plastic smile on her heavily made-up face as she and her colleagues performed the pre-flight safety briefing for her passengers, though on this particular morning, it wasn’t quite as fake as it had been previously. Sophie mused as she sat down at the end of the briefing that even the heels had started to feel less high, her skirt less tight and her corset less restrictive…
“Penny for your thoughts?” Jessica asked as the plane started to slowly taxi down the runway.
“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Oh, umm, nothing. Just- just, you know, eager to get through the day, got tomorrow AND Thursday off.” Unless you count writing up the expose as work anyway, Sophie thought to herself.
“Ah, so jealous,” Jessica giggled. “I’m at work all week but Paige has got tomorrow and Thursday off as well. The- ah… I think we’d better continue this conversation in private, hehe!”
“Sounds good to me!” Sophie said, smiling at the thought of more material for her expose as the plane roared down the runway.
A few minutes later, when the plane was high above the English Channel, Jessica and Sophie rose from their seats and headed into the plane’s kitchen, where the brown-haired Englishwoman began preparing the refreshment trolley in the same practised manner she’d seen Paige do the previous day. Jessica, however, wasted no time in continuing the conversation she’d begun while the plane was taking off.
“Normally I wouldn’t be doing this,” Jessica said as she began to fill jugs with water. “Flight supervisors do get to delegate, but I did want to talk to you in particular, Sophie.”
“…Really?” The Englishwoman nervously replied.
“Yeah,” Jessica said. “I figure anyone who knows the name ‘tutu project’ and hasn’t told Alana about it must be trustworthy, right?”
“Right…” Sophie replied, a grin quickly spreading across her face. “Paige told you that I mentioned it yesterday, then?”
“We do kinda share a lot,” Jessica giggled. “Has Rachel shown you the video yet?”
“Video?” Sophie asked. “Or you- of your and Paige’s proposal, you mean?”
“No, but I’ll circle back to that in a bit,” Jessica said, giggling happily at the memory of the day she and Paige got engaged. “It’s- well, next time you see Rachel, ask her to show you ‘the video’. She’ll know what you mean!”
“Will do,” Sophie said with a grin of her own.
“As for me and Paige… Yeah,” Jessica said, her smile quickly fading. “That video of us getting engaged didn’t exactly win us any favours with management.”
“Yeah, you mentioned before,” Sophie said.
“So, me and Paige are literally NEVER scheduled off on the same day,” Jessica sighed. “Our management can be truly spiteful at times. They can’t punish us properly, but they’ll make sure we ‘know our place’ somehow. We both do the Paris route a lot more than usual, too.”
“I’ve heard some horror stories,” Sophie said. “This is my first time as, you know, a ‘live’ flight attendant…”
“Looks like you’re about to find out,” Jessica sighed, pointing to the call light in the kitchen. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered, straightening her hat and her skirt before pushing the trolley out into the cabin, where she quickly located the passenger who had summoned her. Much to Sophie’s chagrin, the passenger was middle-aged, male and wore an expensive business suit on his body… And a very deep scowl on his face.
“Good morning sir, how may I help you?” Sophie asked in her sweetest voice.
“Mmph,” the man grunted in response, confusing the young flight attendant.
“I- I’m sorry, sir?” Sophie asked. “How- how can I hel-“
“I asked for a brandy, you stupid girl!” The businessman spat in a refined Parisian accent. “Do your ears not work or do you have no brain?” Does your dick not work, Sophie thought to herself.
“My apologies, sir,” Sophie said, pouring the business man a drink and carefully laying it on a napkin on his tray table, doing her best to ensure he had nothing further to complain about. However, as hard as she tried, Sophie knew instinctively that her best simply wasn’t going to be good enough…
“You nearly spilled it!” The businessman snarled. Really? Sophie thought to herself with a heavy internal sigh.
“I apologise sir,” Sophie simpered. “I’ll try harder next time.”
“So you didn’t try hardest this time?” The businessman spat, making Sophie blush furiously as his friends all laughed at her expense.
“I- I-“ Sophie stammered.
“Just get lost,” the businessman scoffed, chuckling evilly as Sophie dragged her trolley back to the kitchen.
“If you want to sit down, have a cry, go ahead,” Jessica whispered softly. “I’ll take the trolley out the next few calls.”
“Thanks,” Sophie sniffled, trying her hardest not to cry. “Why- why should we put up with this?”
“The man you served was Bertrand Marchal,” Jessica explained. “Old friend of Antoine Masson, on the board of Soixante-Trois Industries- Industries, not just the airline- and worth several hundred million Euros in his own right. You make a fuss, you’re more likely to get fired yourself.”
“Money doesn’t equal a good character, obviously,” Sophie spat.
“Yeah, look at the government of my homeland if you want more proof,” Jessica snorted. “Masson’s friends have this game, the first to make a stewardess cry ‘wins’.”
“What do they win?” Sophie asked. “A big badge with twat written on it?”
“They should!” Jessica asked, laughing heartily before sighing as the call light illuminated again. “Stay here, take several deep breaths.” Sophie nodded and remained in the kitchen for the next two minutes, before Jessica returned with a deep frown on her face.
“…Don’t need to ask, do I?” Sophie asked with a sympathetic smile.
“For what it’s worth, they didn’t ‘win’,” Jessica replied. “Every time you rise above it, YOU win.”
“Easier said than done,” Sophie sighed. “Have- has no one ever even tried to challenge management about this?”
“Where’s the point?” Jessica shrugged. “We do, we get fired and replaced at the drop of a hat. Tutu project’s only, like, a very tiny part of the company.”
“But what if it was bigger?” Sophie asked. “What if literally every stewardess complained at once? They can’t fire everyone.”
“Are- are you talking about a union?” Jessica asked. “Or- or even a strike? That’d never happen…”
“Never say never,” Sophie whispered. “Things can’t carry on the way they’re going, can they?”
“Sadly, that’s not for us to decide,” Jessica said, sighing as the call light illuminated yet again.
Fortunately for Sophie- and the rest of the cabin crew- the flight back from Paris to London was less stressful, with the businessmen tired from a hard day’s work, but as the last of the passengers disembarked at Heathrow, Sophie still let out a long, pained sigh.
“Ah, take a deep breath, you won’t have to even look at another passenger until Friday!” Jessica teased. “Where are you off to then?”
“Umm, Amsterdam,” Sophie replied. “Being kept on blue route while I’m still in probation.”
“Yeah, but you’ll be out of probation in November,” Jessica said with a smile. “And red route is REALLY enjoyable in winter, trust me. I would say I’d put in a good word with Alana to get you transferred, but if I put in the word you’d probably end up flying to Iceland in December or somewhere like that.”
“Does the airline even fly to Iceland?” Sophie asked.
“Wouldn’t surprise me if they started flying there just to punish us,” Jessica snorted. “Either way, don’t worry too much about it. Keep your nose clean, don’t mention the tutu project to anyone- especially Alana- and you’ll be fine.” Not even Team ASH? Sophie thought to herself, before frowning as that thought began to linger in her mind.
“Have- have you flown with, umm, Amy Harris or Hayley Fisher?” Sophie asked.
“Yeah, I flew with Hayley yesterday, actually,” Jessica asked. “And I’ve been on a few flights with Amy before, too. They’re your flat mates, aren’t they?”
“Yeah,” Sophie said. “They’re pretty cool, you know?”
“Asking if they’d be suitable for the project?” Jessica asked. “Your cousin’s the best person to ask there.”
“My cous- oh, Rachel?” Sophie asked.
“You have more than one cousin?” Jessica asked, before rolling her eyes. “Heh, silly question, most people probably do! But yeah, if- if you want to, you know, ‘induct’ them, I’d ask Rachel. But I would be kinda careful, you know? This dream of a union you have will die the second you talk to the wrong person, or if Alana gets wind of it… Don’t want to get fired just six weeks into the job, do you?”
“Not really,” Sophie replied. “It’s just- you know?”
“You want your ‘gang’ to be integrated into the rest of the ‘gang’?” Jessica asked with a grin. “Understandable. I mean, I guess if Rachel trusts you to be in the tutu project, you must be a good judge of character, hehe! Just be thankful there are no initiation rituals, like a fraternity- sorry, I mean sorority!”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“Unless, of course, you want there to be an initiation ceremony,” Jessica teased. “You’d have to dress up in a sexy costume…”
“I- I’ll pass, thanks,” Sophie chuckled.
“Saving it for when you pass probation?” Jessica giggled. “You can never have too many parties, you know…”
“Like you can never have too many friends?” Sophie asked, making Jessica giggle and nod.
“Okay, okay,” Jessica giggled, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. “Take Hayley and Amy to see Rachel, explain about the project. Just don’t drop me or Paige in it, okay?”
“Deal,” Sophie giggled as she and her colleagues completed their post-flight checks.
A short while later, with her uniform having been exchanged for a smart pencil dress, Sophie strode through the front door of her flat with a confident, determined look on her face. Amy and Hayley WERE her friends, and she WOULD include them in her life, and her projects- one project in particular…
“Hey Amy,” Sophie said to the ginger-haired woman, who was snuggled into her chair wear a very similar outfit to the one Sophie herself had worn the previous night. “You’re looking… Plain.”
“Kiss my arse,” Amy replied with a giggle. “I look, and feel, comfortable. Some brown-haired woman taught me about the joy of sweats yesterday evening!”
“Sounds like a clever woman,” Sophie said with a smug grin.
“Not to mention a woman who looks great in a smart dress and heels,” Amy said, making Sophie bite her lip with embarrassment. “…I’m just teasing, god! Anyway, how was the dreaded Paris run?”
“Dreaded,” Sophie snorted. “Justifiably dreaded, too.”
“Yeah, I’ve had to deal with ‘the game’ a few times,” Amy snorted. “I don’t let them get to me. They want to play their stupid game, I say let them. I’ll just smile even more, piss them off even more.”
“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Sophie mused. “Rise above it… Don’t you- don’t you sometimes, wish, though?”
“…I spent most of my childhood wishing for one thing in particular,” Amy said, sighing as a guilty look crept across Sophie’s face. “…Then again, I guess I’m not the only one, heh. What, exactly, do I wish for?”
“Customers that behave themselves!” Sophie replied with a snort of laughter, studying her flat mate’s reaction carefully.
“…Literally every single flight,” Amy confessed. “As much as I rise above it there are times I just want to grab the coffee pot and dump it down the passengers’ trousers, heh. Though given the way they watch me wiggle up the aisle, they’d probably get off on that, heh.”
“No ‘probably’ about it,” Sophie said, making Amy giggle.
“Sometimes I wonder if they keep flying with us because they secretly fantasise about mincing around their homes with a feather duster shoved up their arse,” Amy snorts. “Or worse, it’s more than just a fantasy at times!”
“So you wouldn’t exactly call yourself Antoine Masson’s biggest fan, then?” Sophie asked.
“He probably shoved a vacuum cleaner up there, let alone a feather duster,” Amy said, smirking as Sophie almost bent double in fits of laughter. “This- this isn’t, you know, a secret test of character or something, is it? You don’t have a microphone hidden in your bra and this is all being broadcast to Soixante-Trois HQ, is it?”
“…Yes and no,” Sophie said with a warm smile. “I’m not, you know, a spy for Masson, but I may know a few people you might be interested in meeting… Fancy going down the pub?”
“Dressed like this? Umm, no?” Amy retorted.
“So get changed then,” Sophie said, earning a surprised look from her flat mate, followed by a loud giggle.
“…Deal,” Amy said. “On one condition- after last night, however girly I dress, you have to dress girlier!” Naturally, Sophie thought to herself. However, even she was forced to admit it was a small price to pay to get a co-conspirator onboard.
“Deal,” Sophie said, grinning as Amy jumped out of her chair and headed to her bedroom, while Sophie herself entered her own room.
Just over forty five minutes later, the two women walked into the pub side by side, each dressed in a short black skirt, a clingy low-cut top, sheer black tights and high heeled shoes- though as per their ‘agreement’, Sophie’s skirt was shorter, her top was clingier and her heels were much higher than Amy’s. And yet, as she walked up to the bar, Sophie found that she didn’t feel nearly as self-conscious as she did the first time she walked through the bar dressed in women’s clothing. She put this down at first to the fact that she was with Amy, who was dressed identically to her and in more or less the same situation as her, but as she sat down and unconsciously straightened her skirt, Sophie began to wonder whether or not she actually did feel comfortable in the revealing clothing…
“Evening, ladies!” Danny said with a warm grin. “What can I get for you?”
“Your missus, please,” Sophie replied with a warm grin of her own.
“In a glass or straight from the bottle?” Danny replied, laughing loudly as his partner snuck up behind him and hit him over the head with one of the pub’s menus.
“Make them two white wines,” Rachel ordered Danny, before turning to the two young women who had just walked in. “And good evening to you two ladies! What brings you in here?”
“She does,” Amy says, gesturing toward the blushing Sophie.
“Yeah,” Sophie said with a shy giggle. “Rachel Harrison, meet Amy Harris- Amy HarrisOFF.”
“Ah, so you work with Miss Connelly, then?” Rachel asked.
“And live with her, sadly,” Amy mock sighed, giggling as Sophie rolled her eyes. “But yes, I’ve worked for Soixante-Trois since May. And yes, I am, well, you know.”
“Yeah,” Rachel whispered. “You two- you two grab a table, a private one somewhere, I’ll join you in a bit.” The two young women smiled as they took their glasses of wine to a secluded booth in the corner of the pub, where Amy turned to Sophie with a look of concern on her face.
“That- you brought me here to meet Rachel Harrison?” Amy asked. “The same Rachel Harrison who is loathed by all of the airline’s management?”
“Trust me, the feeling mutual,” Sophie replied, sipping her drink. “And besides, she’s my cousin, I thought I told you that?”
“Well- yes, but- ugh, I didn't think you were THIS close...” the ginger-haired woman replied. “But- still, you know? Are you trying to get us fired?”
“You- you can’t fire someone for going to a pub, surely?” Sophie asked, before sighing. “And even if you can, you SHOULDN’T. Isn’t that what you were saying before we came here?”
“I said I wished that working conditions were a little better,” Amy replied. “But they’re not BAD, you know?”
“How many Paris flights have you done again?” Sophie retorted, silencing her flat mate as Rachel slid into the booth opposite them.
“So then,” the blonde woman said with a grin. “What, exactly, can I do for you two ladies?”
“I’ve been repeatedly told by mutual friends of ours that you have a video I may be interested in watching,” Sophie said, causing Rachel’s eyes to go wide.
“So- Sophie…” Rachel grimaced. “Can- can we talk in private, please?”
“Umm, but- but we just got here?” Sophie replied. “And our flat mate isn’t here yet…”
“We won’t be a second,” Rachel said, rising from her chair and grabbing Sophie by the arm. “Excuse us a second, Amy.” Sophie frowned in confusion as Rachel dragged her behind the bar and up the stairs to the pub’s private kitchen.
“What- what’s wrong?” Sophie asked as she was sat down by the 29 year old woman. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Uhh- yeah, just a bit!” Rachel sighed as she sat down opposite Sophie. “What exactly did I ask you to do?”
“Help make matters better for Soixante-Trois employees,” Sophie shrugged.
“That’s the GENERAL idea,” Rachel retorted. “What SPECIFICALLY is your role in this project?”
“…To gather information and write it up,” Sophie replied, her voice dipping into a quiet mumble.
“Exactly,” Rachel sighed.
“I’ve got a LOT of great information, honestly,” Sophie pleaded. “I could probably write it up now, even, but-“
“…’But’?” Rachel asked as Sophie hesitated.
“…But, umm,” the brown-haired girl mumbled. “I- I could get more if, you know, I get closer to the other stewardesses…”
“Well- probably,” Rachel said. “I’m not denying THAT, but- what exactly is this all about, Sophie?”
“I just think- I just think that Amy and Hayley would be good fits for the tutu project, that’s all,” Sophie shrugged.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” Rachel said with a stern voice. “I’m not definitely saying no but you’ve known them how long, a month?”
“And lived with them for a month,” Sophie retorted. “I’ve got to know them. I- they’re, umm, they’re my friends…”
“Ah, I wondered whether or not this would happen,” Rachel sighed. “You’ve gone native, haven’t you, Sophie?”
“No,” Sophie retorted. “I- I just don’t like keeping secrets from my friends, that’s all…”
“You’re keeping a secret a hell of a lot bigger than the tutu project,” Rachel reminded the brown-haired girl. “Though… I suppose ‘going native’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you know?”
“Honestly, I’m NOT ‘going native’,” Sophie said futilely.
“You’re getting emotionally invested,” Rachel retorted. “You said yourself just now, you’re in this to make life better for the other stewardesses. And I noticed you using the word ‘other’. You- you consider yourself one of them, don’t you?”
“…Maybe,” Sophie mumbled.
“And- and when I say ‘them’,” Rachel asked hesitantly. “Does- does that include, you know… Not just being a stewardess, but being a woman too?”
“No,” Sophie immediately retorted, before sighing. “Maybe. I don’t know! The more it- the more THIS went on, the more I hated it. And not just the clothes, but the treatment as well, men treating me like- like I’m some piece of meat or something, like I’m some airheaded bimbo just because I’m wearing a skirt and make-up…”
“Imagine,” Rachel sarcastically snorted.
“But- you know?” Sophie sighed. “I’ve made friends, friends I never would have as ‘James’. And it’s not ALL bad, I mean, there are worse things than wearing a skirt, right?”
“I never thought it was all that bad,” Rachel shrugged. “Then again, I’m pretty sure the first time I wore a skirt, I was less than a year old, so I kinda have a lot of experience there…”
“…People get too hung up on ‘gender’,” Sophie mumbled.
“Spoken like a true T-girl,” Rachel teased, giggling as Sophie blushed.
“I’m not a true T-girl,” Sophie mumbled. “When this ends, I’m going to go back to being ‘James’. This is a purely temporary thing, not like Amy or Hayley.”
“Of course,” Rachel said.
“But I’ve definitely learned a lot,” Sophie continued. “Heh, maybe even enough to write another book. Sometimes I reckon every man should spend time living as a woman, reckon they’d learn a LOT of respect for us- for you- for them- ugh. Men should have more respect for women. Full stop.”
“Congratulations on not saying anything every woman hasn’t said before,” Rachel said, giggling as Sophie rolled her eyes. “I meant that as a compliment, believe it or not. There are far, far worse things than ‘going native as a girl’.”
“Just like there are worse things than wearing a skirt?” Sophie asked.
“Exactly,” Rachel said with a smug grin. “And yes, wearing a stupid corset and stumbling up airplane aisles in high heels definitely qualifies as ‘worse’, as does being treated like piece of meat by men who should have more respect. And on that note, I believe you asked to watch a video, didn’t you?”
“I did,” Sophie replied with a confident grin. “But we’ve left Amy downstairs for AGES, she must be wondering what’s happened to us…”
“Yeah…” Rachel grimaced. “I- I’m sorry, Soph, it’s just- there’s a LOT at stake here. Not just the expose, or even your job, if- if this video leaks, it could mess with a lot of people’s jobs, you know?”
“Okay,” Sophie sighed as she and Rachel rose from their table and headed back down to the public area of the bar. “But you have to believe me when I say that Amy and Hayley ARE cool. They won’t go squealing to Alana or to anyone called ‘Masson’, I promise. In fact, I’d be really surprised it ANY stewardess would.”
“Think we’re still miles away from THAT,” Rachel sighed. “But it won’t hurt to at least meet them!”
“Definitely!” Sophie giggled as the two women returned to the booth, where the found that Amy had been joined by the final resident of the flat.
“…Literally UP my skirt,” Hayley spat, eliciting a disgusted look from Amy. “I swear, from now on, I’m going to find a way to do this job on my knees. How he was able to angle his head like that anyway when he was supposed to be flying the plane… Ugh. Makes me sick!”
“Ooh, don’t need to guess who you’re talking about, do I?” Rachel giggled as she sat down and extended her hand to the newcomer. “You must be Hayley, right? I’m Rachel Harrison. Sophie’s told me a lot about you already!”
“All good, I hope?” Hayley asked, flashing a smug grin at Sophie.
“Can’t be any worse than what she said about me,” Amy giggled. “And yes, Hayley, this is THE Rachel Harrison.”
“My reputation precedes me, then?” Rachel asked.
“Management aren’t- umm, aren’t exactly, you know, fond of you,” Hayley mumbled. “I’m not even sure I should be here…”
“If- if you’d rather leave, then you should,” Rachel said softly as Sophie’s cheeks began to flush.
“If you want management to dictate to you how to spend your free time, anyway,” Sophie mumbled.
“We’ve only been working there for a month,” Hayley protested. “It’d mean nothing to the company to cut us loose, and I can’t afford to be unemployed right now!”
“But you can afford to have perverted pilots staring up your skirt, right?” Amy asked, bring the smile back to Sophie’s face.
“Yeah, well, he’s the nephew of the company’s owner,” Hayley sighed. “Not much I can do about THAT. And it’s not like he’ll be on every flight…”
“He will if he takes a liking to you,” Rachel said. “Take it from someone who knows FAR too well.”
“…Then I’ll tell him I’m trans,” Hayley shrugged.
“Yeah, like THAT will stop him,” Rachel snorted. “Fortunately, I know something that will. If Jacques Lacroix gets too close again, simply say the words ‘Little Bo Peep’ to him. That’ll shut him up pretty fast, hehe!”
“Why do I get the impression that this is REALLY something I shouldn’t know?” Hayley asked, a smile creeping onto her lips as Rachel glanced over at Sophie and let out a long, tired sigh.
“…Okay, okay,” Rachel chuckled. “Gather round, I’m not putting the sound on on this, but I’m sure you can probably infer what’s being said…” The three stewardesses all giggled excitedly as Rachel took her phone out of her pocket and loaded up a video. All three women were surprised when they were confronted by the sight of the dreaded co-pilot wearing a VERY unusual costume…
Half an hour later, after several more glasses of wine had been consumed and countless amounts of gossip had been exchanged, the four women in the booth all had happy, contented smiles on their faces, safe in the knowledge that new friends- and, more importantly, new allies- had been made.
“Did I, or didn’t I tell you?” Sophie asked Rachel, who playfully sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Yes, yes,” Rachel giggled. “And for what it’s worth… I do hope this makes you feel a little better.”
“Was our Sophie feeling unwell, then?” Hayley asked.
“It- it’s just that, umm,” Sophie mumbled. “I kinda- kinda don’t like, you know, keeping secrets…”
“Oh- don’t worry about that at all, seriously,” Amy chuckled. “Everyone has their secrets. Believe me on that one…” Yeah, Sophie thought to herself, not noticing the faraway look that had suddenly come over the ginger woman’s face. I bet my secrets are bigger than yours…
“You did always, you know, seem like you had something bugging you, some ‘dark secret’ or shit like that,” Hayley said softly.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were transgendered or something,” Amy quipped, earning giggles from all the girls at the booth. “But yeah, whatever help you need for this ‘tutu project’, me and Hayley will give it, won’t we?”
“Of course!” Hayley giggled. “Especially if it means we get to wear actual tutus, hehe!”
“Well…” Rachel said with a smug grin. “What will you girls be doing tomorrow at about 9:30am?”
“Nothing, probably getting a lie-in,” Hayley shrugged, to which Sophie nodded in agreement.
“Whereas I’ll probably be 5 miles above Germany,” Amy sighed. “Which IS a pity as I think I know what this might be…”
“Oh really, miss Harrisoff?” Rachel teased. “Care to enlighten the two newbies?”
“Put it this way,” Amy said with a devilish smirk, “it’s a pity we don’t have the time to go shopping right now for new clothes of a very, very specific kind…”
The following morning, Sophie had a nervous, almost terrified smile on her face as she stepped out of the taxi and followed Hayley into the small, modern building, the front door of which proudly bore the slogan ‘Welcome to the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance’. Sophie felt self-conscious dressed in her tight leggings, pink trainers and short athletic crop top, though she soon realised that the situation could have been a lot worse when she and Hayley were immediately greeted by Rachel.
“Hey girls!” the blonde woman excitedly squeaked, exchanging a hug with the two women. “You’re not exactly dressed for the occasion, but you’re okay if you’re only watching, hehe!”
“Meanwhile YOU’RE dressed like…?” Sophie replied, a look of surprise and disdain in her eyes.
“Like a woman going to her dance class,” Rachel replied, doing a twirl in her skin-tight black leotard and baby pink tights.
“Like a four year old going to her dance class, maybe,” Sophie said.
“What?” Rachel protested. “Just because I’m a few weeks shy of thirty, I’m not allowed to get dressed up for my dance class?”
“Well I for one am REALLY jealous,” Hayley giggled. “Hope I’ll still be allowed to get dressed up for a dance class when I’m SIXTY, hehe!”
“Think you might be going shopping after the lesson,” Rachel said with a wink, before giggling excitedly as the group was approached by a dark-haired woman that Sophie immediately recognised, and found herself involuntarily smiling at. “Ah, and here she is, the woman for whom the tutu project was named!”
“And the only one not to work for Soixante-Trois when the project was executed,” Zoe said with a giggle. “Rachel? You have brought me more students?”
“Possibly,” Rachel replied. “You already know Sophie, my cousin, I’d like you to meet Hayley Fisher, her colleague and flat mate.” Hayley giggled excitedly as she and Sophie exchanged air kisses with the Frenchwoman.
“It is a pleasure,” Zoe said. “Even if you are both not dressed for a lesson.”
“They didn’t really have time to go shopping last night,” Rachel said. “This was kinda a last minute thing…”
“It’s fine,” Zoe said. “You will have plenty of time to shop before your first lesson on Sunday! I would take you myself this morning but after this lesson I have to each my toddler class, and sadly we do not keep any adult sizes in stock here.” Sophie forced a giggle out of her mouth, even as she wondered how and when she’d suddenly signed up for a full-blown ballet class.
“Think we’re DEFINITELY going shopping after this lesson, hehe!” Hayley giggled, bouncing up and down with excitement. “So is- is this, like, a private lesson for members of the tutu project?”
“Not- not quite…” Rachel teased, pointing to a figure in the corner of the room, the identity of whom made Hayley’s jaw drop- and, much to her surprise, made Sophie’s jaw drop as well.
“Han- Hannah Dexter!?” Hayley squeaked, loud enough to attract the attention of the tall blonde supermodel.
“And is- is that Steph Abbott?” Sophie gasped, blushing as Rachel bent double in a fit of giggles and the small group was approached by the two famous women, both of whom were dressed identically to Rachel.
“Hi Rachel,” Hannah said in a teasing voice. “You brought some friends along today, then?”
“Hi have,” Rachel replied with a smug grin. “Hannah Dexter, meet Sophie Connelly and Hayley Fisher.”
“Hi girls!” Hannah giggled, exchanging air kisses with the star-struck young women. “Do you both work for Soixante-Trois, then?”
“Umm, yeah, hehe!” Sophie replied in a barely-coherent babble.
“Just, umm, just started last month,” Hayley mumbled, her cheeks turning a bright red.
“I think two LITTLE GIRLS might be a little embarrassed to be around all the celebrities,” Rachel teased, turning Hayley and Sophie’s cheeks an even brighter red.
“Hi Rachel,” Stephanie said as she approached the growing group. “Have- have you brought along fans?”
“Looks that way, doesn’t it?” Hannah teased.
“It was all made okay with me and Krystie,” Zoe reassured the young singer. “Two new members of my Sunday class who might come along on Wednesdays as well in future!”
“Stephanie Abbott, meet Sophie Connelly and Hayley Fisher!” Rachel said, giggling loudly as the transgendered singer exchanged air kisses with her two friends.
“Oh my god, I am SUCH a huge fan of yours!” Hayley squeaked.
“Thanks!” Stephanie giggled. “I- I can get you tickets for our London concert in October, if you’d like?”
“Oh my god, really?” Hayley squeaked in a pitch high enough to make Sophie wince.
“Filles? After the lesson?” Zoe ordered, making the two celebrities blush as she ordered them into the main body of the dance studio. “Though after the lesson, the four of us shall chat. If we are adding new members to the tutu project, then there needs to be a party, does there not?”
“Damn right there does!” Rachel giggled, leading Sophie and Hayley to the seats at the side of the studio before taking her place among the other women at the barre.
The lesson lasted for just over an hour, during which Sophie expected herself to be bored to tears, but found herself oddly enthralled by the sight of the young women dancing and stretching. 'James's tongue would likely have been on the floor at the sight, and Sophie had to admit to herself that even dressed as a girl, she was just as attracted to them- but that the attraction would only ever be one way. Even after the lesson ended, Sophie found herself lost in thought at the sight of the women, a reverie that was only broken when Rachel snapped her fingers in front of her face, causing Sophie to jump with shock.
“Lost in thought?” Rachel teased. “It wasn’t THAT boring, was it?”
“Umm- no, not really,” Sophie said.
“Glad to hear it,” Zoe giggled as she approached. “As your next free Sunday, it shall be you doing the dancing!”
“Umm- I dunno,” Sophie said hesitantly. “I’d- I’d be like a hippo on roller skates, heh.” And wearing a costume like that really would be a bridge too far, Sophie thought to herself- even though she was forced to admit that it was hardly any different than the underwear she wore on flights, and she had already worn a one-piece swimsuit to a pool party held by the company…
“Which is why it is a LESSON,” Zoe insisted. “I shall teach you to be graceful, elegant and feminine like any beautiful ballerina!”
“If you do, you’ll probably be the best teacher in the world!” Sophie giggled.
“Merci beaucoup,” Zoe replied with a smug grin. “And you are already elegant, are you not? You walk with grace in heels, do you not?”
“…I’ve practised,” Sophie mumbled.
“And you shall practise ballet too,” Zoe shrugged. “Look at the little girls coming into the studio now, you think any of them can dance The Nutcracker yet?”
“They- they’re three,” Sophie snorted.
“Some of them are two,” Zoe retorted. “But they will grow, and they will learn, and all of them shall be beautiful ballerinas, and if you put in the work, so will you. Both of you. Provided you dress appropriately for class, anyway!”
“Oh, don’t worry, THAT can be arranged!” Hayley giggled, bringing a wide grin to the Frenchwoman’s face. “Right, Soph?”
“Umm, yeah!” Sophie replied with forced enthusiasm, even as she tried to remind herself that shopping for dancewear was unlikely to be as embarrassing for her as shopping for underwear. Or swimwear. Or cosmetics. Or shoes… And it wasn’t like she didn’t pass for a convincing female. A more convincing female with every passing day, in fact…
“First though,” Rachel said, “tonight, we party! We’ve got three new members of the tutu project to induct!”
“Absolument!” Zoe giggled. “And I know just the woman to help us prepare! Madame Phillips-Thomas!” Sophie tried her best to smile as the group approached one of the young women who had been a part of the class, and who was now fussing over one of the tiny toddlers who’d entered the dance studio.
“You be good for Miss Renou, okay?” The brown-haired woman said to the toddler, who nodded enthusiastically. “Gonna give your big sister a hug?” All the women watching- including, much to her own surprise, Sophie- let out a happy sigh as the tiny girl leaned in to give the older girl a cuddle, before running off to join her friends in the centre of the room.
“Hey Nikki!” Rachel said to the brown-haired, leotard-clad woman.
“Hey Rachel!” Nikki replied with a happy giggle. “Ooh, got new friends for me to make?”
“I have indeed,” Rachel replied with a smug grin. “Hayley Fisher, Sophie Connelly, I’d like you to meet Nikki Thomas!”
“Nikki PHILLIPS-Thomas!” Nikki corrected the blonde woman, pointing to the gold band on her left hand before exchanging air kisses with the two women.
“They’re helping me and Zoe out with that project I’ve told you about before,” Rachel explained.
“You- you told her about the tutu project?” Sophie asked.
“Relax, Nikki’s sound,” Rachel said, making the brown-haired woman blush. “Need your party organising skills, MRS Phillips-Thomas! Sophie and Hayley, and their friend Amy, have just joined our little ‘conspiracy’ so we need to throw them a party to celebrate!”
“Say no more!” Nikki giggled as she led the group to the changing rooms, where she pulled a smartphone out of her dance bag and began composing a text message to Rachel. “These places do last-minute catering- and yes, booze- and they’re pretty affordable too. Not having the party at the pub, then?”
“A ‘tutu project’ party?” Rachel asked. “Emphasis on the ‘tutu’?”
“Ah, say no more!” Nikki giggled. “So, how long have you two been working for the airline?”
“Just a month,” Sophie replied, before biting her lip. “Umm, if you don’t mind me saying…”
“…Depends on what you’re saying,” Nikki replied with a cautious giggle.
“You- you don’t look, you know…” Sophie said hesitantly, earning a sigh from the brown-haired woman.
“…Okay,” Nikki said, biting her lip. “I’m surprised you have a problem with THIS if you work for Soixante-Trois, you know?”
“I- I know what?” Sophie asked. “I, um, I meant that you look a little young to be married… Did- did I just put my foot in it?”
“A little,” Hayley replied with a smug grin. “Nikki here is kinda- kinda a girl like, you know, like us?”
“Like us?” Sophie asked, before her eyes went wide in realisation. “Oh, you- you mean-“
“’Fraid so,” Nikki said with a giggle, her tension slowly easing. “Though in fairness, I couldn’t, you know, ‘tell’ either of you either, hehe!”
“Thanks,” Sophie chuckled, sure that she’d been paid a compliment but unsure how to react to it. “So, umm, how long have you- have you-“
“Since I was sixteen, four and a bit years ago,” Nikki replied with a proud smile.
“You- you got married when you were sixteen!?” Sophie asked, causing Nikki to giggle with embarrassment.
“Oh- god, not quite!” The brown haired woman laughed. “No, got married this summer just gone. Though I have been with my wife for six years this month, heh!”
“Wait, so that- so that means,” Sophie said as she racked her brains. “Your wife, she- she got with you when you were a boy, and is still with you now that you’re a woman?”
“…Bit of a blunt way of putting it, but basically, yeah,” Nikki said. “Of course, helps that we ARE soul mates, hehe!”
“She does sound pretty cool,” Sophie mused. “A lot of women wouldn’t look twice at a boy who became a woman…”
“Well- all those women suck, then,” Nikki shrugged. “True love overcomes silly things like ‘gender’.”
“Or even men who prefer to wear women’s clothes,” Zoe interjected. “Listen to someone who knows.”
“I think we can agree that femininity is, generally speaking, a very, VERY good thing,” Rachel said, exchanging a knowing smile with Sophie.
“It’s definitely not the worst thing in the world,” Sophie mused, a happy smile on her face as she giggled along with her new friends.
Later that night, Sophie had a nervous smile on her face as she stood in front of the women in the crowded flat, her hands crossed with Rachel’s, Amy’s and Hayley’s. Her costume was easily the most ridiculous thing she had ever worn- stretchy white tights, an embellished white leotard and a stiff white tutu skirt, along with a white feathered head-dress and stage make-up so thick it made her usual work make-up seem like nothing. Any real man would have felt mortified to wear such a costume, especially in such a setting, but Sophie found that she wasn’t embarrassed, not even slightly. As with the previous night's visit to the pub, Sophie put this down to the fact that her three friends were dressed identically to her, and all the other women in the room- all of whom WERE women, regardless of how they were born- were wearing the typical ballet attire of a black leotard and pink tights. If she hadn’t been dressed like a ballerina, then she’d have stuck out like a sore thumb and felt cause to be embarrassed. Sophie tried her hardest to convince herself of this, even as the music started and she began dancing in sync with her friends- even though the four women quickly became desynchronised, and their attempt at performing an elegant dance ended with all four of them laid on the ground in an undignified heap.
“…You cannot even give me three steps?” Zoe criticised, before giggling along with the four ‘swans’.
“How many lessons have we had again?” Amy protested, posing with her hands on her hips, before smiling sweetly and raising her hands above her head in a perfect fifth position.
“Then let us show you how it is done!” Zoe said with a smug grin. “Natalie, Nikki, Sarah!” The assembled crowd all cheered as the four women took to the front of the room and flawlessly performed the opening steps of the Dance of the Little Swans.
“Ahh…” Amy sighed happily as she sat down on the sofa next to Sophie, trying hard not to crush either of their frivolous tutus. “I’m gonna be able to dance like that soon.”
“You wish,” Hayley snorted as she sat down on the other side of Sophie.
“Yes, I do wish,” Amy said with a smug, defiant grin. “And thanks to my fairy godmother, my wish might just come true!”
“…Fairy godmother?” Sophie asked.
“You, silly!” Amy giggled. “YOU’RE my fairy godmother! I told you you were the ‘glue’ in team ASH, right?”
“Not sure I want to be a fairy godmother,” Sophie giggled.
“Well you’re dressed for it…” Amy teased, stroking the stiff netting of Sophie’s tutu.
“Umm, no,” Sophie retorted, a wide, genuine grin creeping onto her face as she stood up and posed in front of her friends with her hands on her hips. “I’m a swan, not a ‘fairy godmother’! I can’t be both, can I?”
“If anyone can, it’s probably you,” Hayley said, making Sophie giggle.
“A toast!” Amy suddenly announced, grabbing a half-drank glass of wine from a nearby table. “To Sophie Connelly, fairy god-swan-mother extraordinaire!”
“To Sophie!” Hayley cheered, causing Sophie to squeak excitedly as she was ushered into a pose by her two flat mates for what felt like an endless string of selfies- and for the first time ever, the longer the party went on, the more fun Sophie found herself having- to the extent that when the time came for the party to end, Sophie was genuinely disappointed.
As she removed her tutu, Sophie wondered exactly when the point had came when she started to enjoy her new life- but her main thought was that she was glad she was able to enjoy it. Just because she’d been born a boy, just because she’d never dreamed of being able to be a woman, like Amy or Hayley, it didn’t mean that she had to reject femininity or rebel against it, especially when it was as much fun as she’d had during the party- during HER party. The fact that the clothes and the costumes were designed with women in mind was utterly irrelevant to Sophie. Women’s sweats were much more comfortable than men’s, her skirts were comfortable, her underwear was comfortable, and even the leotards she tried on at the dancewear store before the party were surprisingly comfortable. And one thing was for certain- Sophie would never have as much fun with ‘James’s old male friends as she’d had with Amy and Hayley. If Sophie just tried, even slightly, to enjoy life as a girl, she found that she loved every passing second more and more.
Sophie just hoped that she didn’t love life as a girl so much that she wouldn’t be able to go back to being ‘James’ once her task was complete…
“…Happy birthday Amy-lie,” the assembled crowd sang in their loud, alcohol-fuelled voices. “Happy birthday to you!” The crowd cheered as the two young women at the front of the room- both of whom worse bright sashes with the logo ‘birthday girl’ written on them- blew out the two candles on the large cake in front of them.
“Ah, thank you, thank you!” Amy giggled. “But you are NOT calling us that!”
“I have been called worse,” Amelie shrugged as she barely suppressed a giggle. “But you are right. We do not want people to think that we are a couple, do we?”
“Damn right you don’t,” Ellen giggled as she wrapped an arm around the French girl’s waist and gave her a long, deep kiss, much to the delight of almost everyone in the crowd.
“Meh, especially as I’d only be marrying you for your money,” Amy shrugged, making Amelie giggle again.
“Speech!” Natalie called from the crowd.
“Just because you want my tongue out of your sister’s mouth,” Amelie teased, before giving Ellen another longer, deeper kiss.
“I’ll start then,” Amy said. “While you two finish sucking each other’s tonsils. Twelve months ago- well, twelve months and a day a go- I was a lonely, miserable, short BOY. And then, one year ago today, I received a present that read ‘to our child on their 21st birthday, boy or girl’, and all of a sudden, my life changed. For the better. In every measurable way. The way it improved most, though, is that I get to spend my second birthday as Amy with some of the best friends I’ve ever made. And Anna-Jade, wherever you are.”
“Get fucked!” Anna-Jade replied with a barely-contained laugh, making the room giggle.
“But seriously, thank you all!” Amy giggled. “Birthday girl number two, you ready?”
“It is not my birthday until tomorrow,” Amelie shrugged, giggling before giving Ellen another long kiss.
“Start talking!” Natalie growled, making the assembled crowd all laugh.
“Oh, very well,” Amelie said with an overly dramatic sigh, which was immediately followed by a girlish giggle. “Like Amy, I have not had a birthday like this before, but for very different reasons. You may be thinking that on my birthdays before, I would have received everything I ever wanted. But that is not true. All I wanted was to be a normal girl, to celebrate with friends. Your friendship is the greatest gift that I have ever received. So merci, merci beaucoup.” Amelie smiled happily as the crowd let out a collective ‘aww’ and applauded her speech.
“The helicopter was a great present though, right?” Paige yelled, making the French teenager giggle and roll her eyes.
“It will be if I am ever allowed to fly it myself!” Amelie retorted as she and Amy began cutting the cake and handing out slices to everyone. “I am not lying when I say that this is the best birthday party I have ever had, though. As you will find out tomorrow, heh!”
“It can’t be THAT bad, surely?” Paige asked her former trainee.
“It might not have been if it was not also my father’s birthday this week,” Amelie sighed. “Part of the reason all of my birthdays have been terrible, my father always insisted on celebrating his with mine, and as my father is Antoine Masson…”
“Say no more,” Jessica sighed, having heard all about Amelie’s family troubles from her fiancée. “Did- did you never have, you know, your own friends at the party?”
“If by friends you are saying ‘people my age’, then yes,” Amelie replied. “If you are saying ‘people who are friendly’, then definitely no. As you will see tomorrow.”
“I’m getting the feeling we’re not going to get any more spoilers,” Paige said with a snort of laughter.
“All I will say is that you should not expect to have as much fun as you are having tonight,” Amelie said with a sympathetic smile. “I know I shall not.”
“Aww, ma amie,” Zoe said, giving her countrywoman a playful hug. “If it helps you, it is my sister’s birthday on Tuesday and I will not have a lot of fun at that either!”
“Another birthday for the pile-up!” Ellen giggles. “And Rachel and Nat two weeks ago… Guess some people really like screwing at the start of March, heh.”
“Obviously that is language you must not use tomorrow,” Amelie sighed. "And that is our parents who you are speaking of!"
“Yeah, I know,” Ellen moaned, playfully resting her head on her lover’s shoulder.
“Now I know why you didn’t invite Anna-Jade,” Jessica giggled. “Have you still not told ‘Fat Tony’ about the two of you?”
“He is still trying to set me up with eligible bachelors in London AND Paris,” Amelie spat. “I do not think he would ever accept this.”
“It’s so weird though, when you think about it,” Hayley sighed. “A man from one of the most liberal countries in the world, which decriminalised homosexuality in the EIGHTEENTH century, and who runs an airline that’s hailed by LGBT groups, is so bigoted?”
“He has said he would fire you all tomorrow if he could,” Amelie spat. “You know who is his business inspiration.”
“Ugh, do I ever, the orange faced bas-“ Paige began, before being interrupted by the entire room.
“Drink!” All of the women- even those not paying attention to the conversation- yelled, giggling at the Scottish woman rolled her eyes, took a drink from a nearby table and finished it in one go.
“One of these days you may actually learn!” Natalie giggled, before handing Paige yet another drink. “Just in case you haven’t.”
“There’s a real part of me, though, that really wishes I could go to this party just to see for myself,” Hayley sighed. “Fun or no fun, you know?”
“Don’t worry, I’ll give you a full report on Monday,” Natalie chuckled. “How about you, Soph? Wish you were going to the second biggest party of the weekend?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied, surprised by the unexpected use of her name.
“Your mind wandered off there, then?” Natalie giggled.
“Umm- yeah, a little,” Sophie said, giggling as she listened to the conversation about the following day’s party.
In truth, Sophie’s mind had been intently focussed on what was being said, as it had been at all the previous parties she’d attended- including her own party the previous month to celebrate her passing probation.
As Abbey- her mentor and fellow supporter- had promised, the party had a ‘Manchester United’ theme, meaning that Sophie and all the other girls at the party (with two obvious exceptions) spent the evening wearing the famous red shirts covering their torsos… And short, flirty party dresses and high heels covering their legs- or rather, covering very little of the tops of their legs. Even though it was her own party, Sophie took the opportunity to observe and compile information for her and Rachel’s expose, even if all she could think about was how strange she looked in her combination of styles- and that she genuinely didn’t know whether she’d rather pull on trousers instead of her dress or just remove the shirt entirely. The fact that it was a woman’s replica shirt did nothing to ease her anxiety either.
The action of pulling on a cocktail dress, or fastening a bra, or applying make-up had become second nature to Sophie, as had speaking with a soft, feminine voice, walking with a sway to her hips or sitting with her legs crossed. As the party went on, Sophie found that she barely even noticed the fact that she was wearing nylons, or that her feet were perched on top of stiletto heels, or even that she had soft, heavy mounds hanging from her chest. In the four months since she’d started working for Soixante-Trois Airlines and compiling her evidence for her expose, Sophie hadn’t just learned to act like a woman, but she’d begun to truly think like a woman as well- which made her next ‘task’ all the harder.
“Ehh, I’d better be getting off now,” Sophie said, looking at the dainty black watch on her wrist- a post-probation gift from her friends. “Got an early start tomorrow…”
“Where you jetting off to this time?” Natalie asked.
“Nowhere,” Hayley answered for the blushing brown-haired woman. “Miss Connelly’s got the next three days off!”
“Ooh,” Natalie teased. “Driving anywhere nice, then? Or getting on the train?”
“Umm, just going to meet up with some friends,” Sophie mumbled.
“Friends… Of, umm, of ‘James’?” Natalie asked. You could say that, Sophie thought to herself.
“Meh, it’s rude to pry,” Amy shrugged. “And I know it’s my party and all but I should probably head off soon as well, promised my parents I’d be at their place early.”
“Ah, you fucking lightweight,” Anna-Jade teased, earning a giggle from the other red-haired girl.
“God, it must be fun when you two are on the same flight,” Rachel said with a chuckle. “Here, I’ll give the two of you a lift home. Probably left Danny by himself too long already, heh.”
“Cheers Rach,” Amy said, finishing her drink. “And thanks for hosting, Amelie, even if I am REALLY jealous of this flat!”
“You are welcome,” Amelie replied with a grin as she exchanged hugs with the three departing women. “Even if it is not MY flat…”
“Kinda feel bad about calling him ‘Fat Tony’ now,” Amy giggled.
“Trust in me, you should not be,” Amelie sighed. “Enjoy the rest of your birthday, Amy!”
“Thanks, girlie!” Amy said, making the Frenchwoman giggle.
“Good luck tomorrow,” Sophie whispered to Amelie. “Hope you’ll fill me on what happens?”
“You will get a total report,” Amelie said with a wink, giving Sophie another gentle hug as she and the other two Englishwomen departed.
“Thanks for the lift,” Amy said as she, Sophie and Rachel elegantly slid into the blonde woman’s car. “You didn’t drink much tonight, then?”
“I spend most of my life surrounded by booze, managing a bar,” Rachel shrugged. “And I drove here, don’t fancy leaving my car overnight, you know?”
“Worried it’ll get nicked?” Amy asked.
“In this part of London?” Rachel snorted. “More worried that it’ll get towed for not being posh enough to park here, heh.”
“What, a beamer, not posh enough?” Amy snorted.
“Take a look around,” Rachel sighed. “Count the number of Bentleys and Porsches you see.”
“…Okay, there’s more than a few,” Amy conceded. “It’s like Richard Hammond’s wet dream on this street.”
“Always thought I’d own one of those cars by the time I hit thirty,” Rachel mumbled, earning loud groans from her two friends.
“Still hung up on that, then?” Amy sighed. “Even despite that?” Despite herself, Rachel smirked as Amy gestured toward the sparkling diamond ring on her left hand, a gift from her new fiancé given the day before her thirtieth birthday.
“Oh believe me, I’d be WAY more depressed without this!” Rachel giggled. “Ah, you’re probably right, I dunno. I mean, my sisters are all mega-successful rich businesswomen and owned Porsches when they were thirty, kinda feel like I’ve got something to live up to, you know?”
“Ah, the advantages of being an only child!” Amy giggled, before grimacing as she glanced behind her at where Sophie was sat on the back seat. “Ehh… Sorry, Soph, didn’t mean-“
“It’s okay,” Sophie said with a smile. “You- You were referring to my parents, right?”
“Yeah,” Amy said softly. “Don’t worry ‘bout it, Soph. I’ve got a feeling things will start going well for you soon. Have you talked to your counsellor yet about reconciling?”
“…Here and there, we haven’t really discussed it in depth,” Sophie half-lied.
“Meh, plenty of pressure from my parents too,” Rachel shrugged, earning a silent ‘thank you’ from Sophie for changing the topic of conversation. “I mean, they SAY they’re proud of my achievements but you have to wonder whether or not ‘manager of a pub’ is THAT big a deal.”
“It’s a pub owned by a seriously rich guy,” Sophie shrugged. “You’ve made amazing contacts through your association with him.”
“And, let’s not forget, amazing friends too!” Amy cheered.
“Well- yeah, that’s definitely true!” Rachel giggled. “Doesn’t stop my parents from going on about grandchildren, though.”
“I mean, not many ordinary bar managers can claim to be friends with the likes of Charlotte Hartley, can they?” Amy asked in a hasty voice.
“Yep!” Rachel laughed. “Even if I have skipped their party in favour of yours. I’d definitely rather be at yours, though.”
“Aww, thanks!” Amy said with an excited giggle. “And if you’re talking about ‘achievements’, then it’ll surely be an achievement when you execute this ‘tutu project’ of yours, right? Might even get to buy that Porsche you always wanted, and without having to sell your soul to get it!”
“Well- here’s hoping!” Rachel giggled as she pulled up outside Sophie and Amy’s flat. “You two have fun tomorrow- take it neither of you will be at the ballet lesson?”
“No, reckon we’ll both be on the road by then,” Amy sighed. “And I know Hayley’s on a flight too.”
“Meh, well see you at the next one then,” Rachel shrugged. “Have fun tomorrow!”
“Oh, I doubt we’ll be having as much ‘fun’ as you!” Amy giggled. “Give our regards to ‘Fat Tony’!”
“Will do!” Rachel laughed as she pulled away, leaving the two younger women to head into their flat, where they were immediately greeted by a surprise.
“Hey Ames,” Sophie said as she reached for a brightly-coloured package that had been left on the coffee table, “did you forget to unwrap a present?”
“Ooh, I hope so!” Amy giggled as she kicked off her heels and skipped toward where the brown-haired girl was stood.
“Says it’s from ‘Jade’,” Sophie says, causing Amy’s enthusiasm to instantly vanish. “Secret girlfriend of yours?”
“Eh- heh, something like that,” Amy mumbled, all but snatching the gift out of Sophie’s hand and heading toward her bedroom. “I, umm, I- I should get an early night. Have fun at your- wherever you’re going, if I, umm, don’t see you tomorrow…”
“Yeah, night Amy,” Sophie whispered, confused by the ginger girl’s sudden change of attitude. Maybe Sophie wasn’t the only person living under her roof who harboured a secret… And whoever ‘Jade’ was, it was obviously sensitive to have such a serious effect on the usually bubbly Amy. Sophie had to remind herself to rein in her natural journalistic instincts to pry further- whatever ‘Jade’ was, it was unlikely to have anything to do with the airline and therefore irrelevant to the tutu project- and more to the point, Amy was her friend, and friends respected each other’s privacy. Still, it came as a source of comfort to Sophie to know that she wasn’t the only one harbouring a secret.
The following morning, Sophie was woken by the sound of her flat mates moving around, and briefly panicked, wondering whether or not she would be late for a flight, before remembering that she had three full days free from work- which also meant, for the first time since she started working for Soixante-Trois Airlines, that she had three full days free from ‘Sophie’.
“Bye Soph!” Hayley yelled as she left the flat. “Have fun at your- wherever you’re going!”
“Will do!” Sophie replied, before coughing twice in a token effort to shift the femininity from her voice.
When she was convinced she was alone in the flat, Sophie swung her hairless legs out of bed and padded toward the shower, staying under the hot, flowing water for over ten minutes as she let it wash away her tension. After drying herself off, Sophie returned to her room, where she took a bottle of nail polish remover and meticulously removed every trace of the red polish from her fingernails and toenails, before returning the bottle to her dressing table and staring at the cosmetics laid out in front of her.
She wouldn’t have to wear a single trace of make-up for three whole days. She wouldn’t even have to shave for three whole days, or style her hair, or wear earrings. As Sophie stared into her lingerie drawer, she sighed at the knowledge that none of the contents of the drawer would have any contact with her skin for the next 72 hours. Instead, Sophie pulled on a pair of comfortable boxer shorts and a pair of thick black socks, before stepping into a pair of loose-fitting dark blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt and a baggy dark blue sweater.
As James stared at his reflection in his mirror, he breathed a sigh of relief. At long last, he was himself again. So why, he asked himself, did he have a craving to reach into ‘Sophie’s underwear drawer and pull on one of ‘her’ thongs? Why did his chest feel wrong without a pair of breasts attached? And why did it feel unnatural to walk in a pair of flat men’s shoes?
----------
“Hi mum!” Amy said with a giggle as her mother opened the door and grinned widely at the sight of her only child.
“Hello, birthday girl!” Mrs. Harris said, giving the red haired woman a tight hug. “Steve! She’s here!”
“Hello, Amy!” Mr. Harris said, wrapping his daughter in a tight hug before ushering her into their plush living room. “So, how was the big, fancy party last night?”
“It was great!” Amy giggled as she sat down on the sofa and crossed one dark, nylon-covered leg over the other. “Lucky me, eh, being born a day- well, 2 years and a day- before a billionaire princess!”
“Lucky you having such amazing friends!” Mrs. Harris replied. “Especially ones who can help you on your journey.”
“Yeah, they have been REALLY supportive,” Amy chuckled. “Mum, last night I- I-“
“What is it?” Mr. Harris asked, concern spreading over his face.
“I- umm,” Amy mumbled. “I got- I got a present- a present from Jade.”
“Oh,” Mrs. Harris said, her face falling. “I didn’t even realise she knew where you lived.”
“I always make sure she’s got up to date contact details,” Amy said quietly.
“And- and was the gift-“ Mr. Harris asked. “Was it for- for ‘Amy’ or ‘Andy’?”
“…For ‘Amy’,” the ginger girl replied.
“Well- well that’s good, surely?” Mrs. Harris asked.
“It’s not like I’d completely burned my bridges,” Amy said with a snort of laughter.
“Are- are you going to see her?” Mr. Harris asked. “Whilst you’re in town, I mean.”
“I- I dunno,” Amy sighed. “I mean, obviously I want to, but- I don’t know that it won’t make things even MORE complicated.”
“Well- it’s up to you,” Mr. Harris said. “All I know is that you only have a limited number of days on this world, and you of all people should know that you only regret the things you DON’T do.”
----------
“Hi mum!” James said with a grin as his mother opened the door and smiled softly at the sight of her only child.
“Hello James!” Mrs. Connolly said, giving her son a gentle, awkward hug before leading him to the living room, where his father was sat reading the Sunday Times.
“Hi dad,” James said nervously, trying to control his breathing and, more importantly, his voice.
“Hi James,” Mr. Connolly said, putting down his newspaper and smiling at his son. “Still haven’t got your hair cut, then?”
“Umm, no,” James laughed, playfully brushing his growing brown hair behind his ears.
“Well, lucky your new job doesn’t have a dress code!” Mr. Connolly chuckled, nearly sending his son into hysterics. “How are things, anyway? Job still going well?”
“Yep!” James replied, barely suppressing a girlish giggle. “I, umm… Research for the story is- is coming along well. Better than ‘well’, in fact. Reckon I should have it out within a few months.”
“We look forward to reading it!” Mrs. Connolly said with a smile. I doubt it, James thought to himself. “Have you looked into what you’ll be doing once this story is finished? Going to stay freelance or going to try to get in on the ground floor with a newspaper?”
“Umm… Not thought that far ahead,” James replied. “Probably stay- stay freelance, I’ve kinda developed a test for, umm, investigative journalism…” And a taste for other things, James thought to himself.
“Well, as long as you’re doing something you love, and that pays the bills, that’s all we can ask for,” Mr. Connolly said with a grin.
“Well, that and a grandchild, eventually!” Mrs. Connolly chuckled. “Still single, I take it?”
“Work kind- kinda makes it hard there,” James said, cringing at the unintended innuendo in his words.
“There are no colleagues that you’ve taken a fancy to, then?” Mrs. Connolly asked.
“I doubt there would be, if he works freelance,” Mr. Connolly corrected his wife. “You’re only 23. Plenty of time to find the girl of your dreams, heh!”
“True,” James shrugged. “And I’ve been, you know, to a few parties… Was at one last night, in fact, a friend’s birthday.”
“Ooh, very nice!” Mrs. Connolly said with a grin. “Any girl take your eye?”
“Not really,” James replied. “There were only other- other, umm, boys there…”
“Ah,” Mr. Connolly said, before letting out a quiet chuckle. “Well, no danger of anything happening there, then!”
“Nope,” James said in a hasty, almost nervous voice.
“Either way, we’re sorry if you had to leave the party early on account of coming here,” Mrs. Connolly said softly.
“No, it’s okay,” James replied.
“Sure you wouldn’t rather be with your friends?” Mr. Connolly chuckled.
“No, honestly, I’m fine,” James half-lied. In truth, James would have loved nothing more than to have gone to Amelie’s party that evening, even if it meant wearing a dress, make-up and heels- things that James not only saw as not a burden, but things to be proud of being able to wear well. However, James was more than happy to not be where many of his friends were at that exact moment…
----------
“Is that really the best you can do?” Zoe said with a loud sigh, placing her hands on her hips as her ‘students’ attempted to pirouette across the room.
“Oh, give us a break,” Paige retorted as she straightened her leotard. “Maybe if I’d been doing this since I was 4…”
“I have been teaching you for months now,” Zoe sighed. “Could you please try learning?”
“You’re the one who’s put the lesson on a Sunday morning!” Abbey giggled. “Try rearranging for a time when everyone ISN’T hungover!”
“Excuses, excuses,” Natalie tutted as she effortlessly pirouetted across the floor en pointe, only to stumble after her third pirouette and land hard on her bottom. “Ow…”
“Serves you right for showing off!” Ellen shouted, giggling loudly as Natalie responded with an obscene hand gesture.
“Enjoy the fun while it lasts,” Amelie sighed, nervously picking at her tights. “Tonight will NOT be as fun.”
“Tonight is just one night,” Ellen said, linking fingers with her lover. “And I’ll be there, so will your friends.”
“I wish I could bring more friends,” Amelie mumbled. “I do not think you will not be good, but-“
“We know, we know,” Ellen cooed softly. “But that just means that we should have as much fun as we can now, right?”
“Damn right!” Zoe giggled.
“And on that note,” Rachel said with a smug grin, “Miss- sorry, Mademoiselle Renou, isn’t there a tradition concerning your students and their birthdays?”
“Why, yes there is, Miss Harrison,” Zoe replied, grinning smugly as she headed into the store room, only to return moment later with a clothes rack containing one thing- an extravagant, frivolous pink tutu.
“…I am supposed to wear that!?” Amelie asked incredulously.
“I did last Sunday,” Natalie replied. “Rach did the Wednesday before that.”
“And you’ll look a LOT better in it than they will!” Ellen giggled, giving her lover a kiss on her long, slender neck.
“So come on,” Paige said with a smug grin. “Get that leotard off!”
“In- in here!?” Amelie hissed. “Before everyone?”
“We’re all girls, aren’t we?” Rachel asked with a warm smile.
“Umm,” Amelie replied, her eyes darting between Paige, Natalie, Abbey and Rhianna, all of whom bit their lip uncomfortably.
“…I’ll go first, if it helps,” Ellen said, lowering the straps of her leotard and letting her breasts hang free.
“Agh!” Natalie shrieked, averting her eyes. “Do NOT need to see that!”
“Oh don’t be such a bloody wimp!” Ellen snorted. “Dressed like this, we’re sisters, aren’t we?”
“Still doesn’t mean I want to see THAT,” Natalie moaned.
“Fine,” Zoe said, removing her cardigan and lowering the straps of her own leotard. “I know for a fact that you like seeing THIS!”
“Well- yes,” Natalie said, sighing before lowering the straps of her leotard and holding her hands over her flat, 'unendowed' chest. One by one, the women in the room followed suit, eventually leaving Amelie as the only one whose chest was covered up.
“If you could hurry up, please,” Zoe asked. “It is NOT warm in here!” Amelie let out an embarrassed sigh, before sliding her tight leotard off of her body and stepping into the tutu that her countrywoman was holding open for her.
“If it helps,” Ellen said as she and the other women began rearranging their leotards, “your father would probably have a heart attack if he saw you like this!”
“Trust in me, he would not,” Amelie replied. “He would think that it was time I became more feminine.”
“And what’s wrong with being feminine?” Natalie asked, placing her hands on her hips.
“You can ask my father tonight when you see him,” Amelie replied. “That is if you want to be fired.”
“Worth remembering, I guess,” Natalie shrugged, before smiling as Zoe produced a sparkling silver tiara from a soft pouch.
“Ugh, as I am not treated like a princess enough,” Amelie spat, before sighing and lowering her head, allowing Zoe to ‘crown’ her.
“Every girl should be treated as a princess on her birthday,” Zoe said with a grin.
“As long as the ‘king’ agrees,” Amelie sighed heavily as she began her dance…
----------
“Wow,” Jessica breathed as she and her five friends strode out into the grand ballroom at the Montcalm hotel. Each woman’s hair and make-up was impeccable, they wore their most expensive dresses and shoes and their best jewellery, but they still felt criminally underdressed for such a venue.
“That’s what a net worth of five billion euros will get you,” Natalie whispered with a derisive snort.
“Bet a lot of the rich nobs here will be surprised when they realise you’re the stewardess they flew over with,” Paige teased her fiancée.
“They probably won’t be able to keep their hands off my ass here either,” Jessica mused, making her fiancée snort with laughter. “Fortunately, if any of them ask, we all have a reason to say no.”
“A bit like Henry VIII, right?” Natalie chuckled. “Engaged, engaged, gay, engaged, engaged, engaged.”
“Four of us also qualify as gay AND engaged!” Paige said, triggering a mass giggle among five of the women.
“Girls? Best behaviour please?” Ellen asked.
“YOU’RE telling US to be on our best behaviour?” Rachel asked with a giggle.
“This is important to Amelie,” Ellen replied. “That makes it important to me.”
“Okay, okay, we’ll be on our best behaviour,” Natalie assured her sister. “Where is the birthday girl, anyway?”
“They picked her up early,” Ellen explained. “Took her to see her father… Think her brothers and sisters are here too.”
“Ooh, we get to meet Eric, Junior and Ivanka?” Jessica asked.
“They’d better not-“ Paige muttered, before Ellen hastily clamped a hand over her mouth.
“Try to keep a lid on your inner commie, okay?” Ellen advised.
“Amelie’s probably more commie than any of us,” Paige retorted.
“Well- yes,” Ellen sighed. “But this is one night when we ALL need to be on our best behaviour. Okay?”
“Swot,” Natalie teased, before withering under a fierce glare from her sister.
“You really do love her, don’t you?” Jessica asked, earning a sweet smile from the younger woman.
“I honestly do,” Ellen sighed. “I dunno. Maybe Briggs girls are just destined to fall in love with French girls.”
“I will not complain,” Zoe said with a grin, before taking a deep breath as the main door to the room opened to reveal the tall, smiling figure of Antoine Masson, flanked by all five of his children. Ellen’s eyes briefly met Amelie’s as the Masson family approached a small stage that had been set up at the side of the room, before the twenty year old Frenchwoman was ushered into place behind her father.
“Madames et monsieurs,” Monsieur Masson announced. “Or I should say, ladies and gentlemen!” The 53 year old billionaire paused and soaked in the laughs of his audience. “Thank you all for coming tonight. I hope your flights from Paris were all acceptable!” The middle-aged man paused again as the crowd once again laughed on cue. “Tonight, we celebrate the life of a very special young woman. A woman who is headstrong, who is very intelligent and who has a fire in her belly. Much like me, when I was starting in this business! My beautiful Amelie, twenty years ago you were a gift from god. Bon anniversaire!”
“Bon anniversaire!” The crowd cheered as Amelie stepped up to the microphone, her long, expensive evening gown flowing around her legs with every step.
“Merci, mon pere,” Amelie said in a soft, demure voice.
“When you first told me that you wished to complete your year of work for me as a trolley dolly, I was not impressed at first!” Monsieur Masson said, earning a giggle from his daughter, laughs from the businessmen in the crowd and stern glares from the six women who had actually been flight attendants. “Then again, it could have been worse- it could have been one of my sons wishing to do this job!” Unbeknownst to the billionaire, the six women’s glares turned into angry scowls. “And I am sure many of your friends from Paris, the elite of that city would think less of you, but understand me, Amelie, I do not. You are doing honest work. I would not be where I am today without being willing to do honest work.” And your father’s legacy, the six women quietly thought to themselves. “You never fail to impress me in all you do, Amelie. You will always have my love, and my pride.”
“Merci,” Amelie whispered.
“And who knows?” Monsieur Masson continued. “After my meeting in July with President Trump and Madame Chao, perhaps you could be flying all the way to America? But hopefully with dignity!” Jessica squeezed her fiancée’s hand in an attempt to calm her down as she saw the Scottish girl begin to tremble with rage. “Amelie- thank you for the last twenty years. May there be many more!”
“Salut!” the assembled crowd cheered, before preparing to dissipate and mingle, only to be called back to attention by a cough from the twenty year old woman.
“May I speak to you all,” Amelie said into the microphone, bringing a look of confusion to her rich father’s face.
“You do not usually speak…” Monsieur Masson mumbled. “But if it is your wish, then please do…”
“Merci,” Amelie said, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. “Thank you all for coming tonight. It means a lot to me that you are all here tonight. But I have an announcement I must say to you all.”
“Wh- what’s she doing?” Ellen whispered, confused by her lover’s unexpected actions.
“For the past eight months,” Amelie announced, “I have had a lover. We are living together, and we are very much in love.”
“Quoi!?” Monsieur Masson snapped. “Who is he?” Amelie gulped as her father’s stare changed from one of confusion to one of anger.
“HER name,” Amelie whispered, eliciting gasps of shock from the crowd. “Is Ellen Briggs. She is a colleague, another one of ‘trolley dollies’ as you did say. Ellen, s’il vous plait?” Her legs quivering with nerves, Ellen slowly stepped toward the front of the room, where Amelie linked her fingers with her and gave her a long, deep kiss, eliciting even louder gasps than before and making her father’s and brothers’ faces redden with anger.
“You- you- she-“ Monsieur Masson babbled, before grabbing the microphone. “This party is over! Everyone, go home!” Dutifully, the assembled guests began to disperse and head for the door, but one of the women hesitated on the way.
“Should- should I do something?” Natalie whispered. “She IS my sister…”
“Call her when you get home,” Rachel advised. “Got a feeling Monsieur Masson will have a LOT to say… Sophie’s going to LOVE this one…”
“What’s Sophie got to do with this?” Paige asked.
“Uh, she- never mind,” Rachel sighed. “Let’s just get out of here before we end up in the firing line!” As if on cue, the five women flinched as they heard a loud roar come from behind them.
“ALANA!” Monsieur Masson bellowed, hastening the exit of all the partygoers apart from his children, their partners and the stewardesses’ terrified-looking manager.
“Don’t know about you girls, but I preferred yesterday’s party,” Natalie whispered, earning nods of agreement. “Kinda feel I should stick around, wait for Ellen…”
“She will be with Amelie,” Zoe reassured her fiancée. “She will be fine.”
“Assuming Amelie will be fine,” Natalie whispered. “I swear, if he does anything, SAYS anything to Ellen, I don’t care how rich he is, I-“
“Let’s- let’s sleep on this,” Zoe said softly. “Let’s be calmer tomorrow. You are on a flight, no?”
“Just Dublin, a quick one,” Natalie replied. “Think Ellen’s off to Madrid though…”
“Yep, on my flight,” Jessica sighed. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on her for you. Know a thing or two about being a big sister, heh.”
“Thanks, Jess,” Natalie sighed. “And you’re right, I guess, Ellen IS an adult, this is a decision she made for herself… Just hope it doesn’t land her in more trouble than usual…”
Unsurprisingly, Natalie didn’t get much sleep that night, meaning that Zoe didn’t either, and much to their surprise, neither did Jessica, Paige or Rachel, all of them distracted by their worry for their young friends. Jessica and Natalie both breathed a sigh of relief the following morning when they walked into the small locker area at Heathrow Airport to find Ellen already dressed in her tight red uniform.
“Hey,” Natalie whispered, giving the tearful-looking girl a gentle, sisterly hug. “You- you okay?”
“Been better,” Ellen moaned.
“What- what happened last night?” Jessica asked as she removed her tight pencil dress and changed into her own red uniform.
“Masson went MENTAL,” Ellen sighed. “Seriously, properly nuclear mental.”
“Jeez…” Natalie sighed.
“In fairness,” Jessica said softly, “Amelie probably could’ve found a better time to tell her father…” The American woman winced as Ellen frowned at the criticism of her girlfriend, before letting out a long, tired sigh.
“…You’re probably right,” Ellen conceded. “I said the same thing to her last night, Amelie replied by saying that she didn’t want to tell him in private in case he found some way to sweep it under the rug, or worse yet, spl- split the two of us up…” Natalie leaned in for another hug as her sister began to slowly weep.
“Oh- oh god, Ellen…” Natalie moaned. “Are- are you two-“
“I don’t think so,” Ellen replied. “Yeah, I know, what an answer, right? Basically Masson threatened to completely cut Amelie off if she didn’t break up with me. Didn’t make any difference when he found out that I WASN’T transgendered. I’ve got a few stories to tell you THERE, heh. He probably would’ve cut her off too, if Amelie’s younger sister didn’t stand up for her.”
“How old is her younger sister, anyway?” Jessica asked.
“Seventeen, that’s the impressive bit,” Ellen giggled. “Think she and Amelie are full sisters too, rather than half-sisters, as they’re so alike.”
“So Masson backed down?” Natalie asked.
“…I think so,” Ellen sighed. “Amelie went home with him, but she was going to anyway… And I know that Masson had a LONG talk with Alana after we left.”
“Never a good sign,” Natalie sighed.
“I think you expected that you wouldn’t be put on the same flights as Amelie anymore,” Jessica asked, smiling sympathetically as the younger woman nodded.
“Wasn’t Amelie scheduled on a flight today?” Natalie asked.
“Yeah, Brussels,” Ellen replied.
“Which means she SHOULD be here…” Jessica mused. “I- I’m sure it’ll be fine. I’ll try to keep your mind off of things while we’re in the sky, okay?”
“Sure,” Ellen said with a weak smile. “Thanks, big sis!”
“You’re gonna get a slap,” Natalie grumbled, making her sister and her friend giggle as they finished donning their uniforms and headed toward their planes.
----------
While her friends were already airborne and heading away from London, Sophie stirred in her bed, moaning happily as she opened her eyes, before staring in confusion at the initially unfamiliar room she found herself in- before remembering that the room was very familiar to her- and for the next few days, she WASN’T Sophie.
“Ugh,” James moaned, laying back on his pillow and gently stroking the light layer of stubble that had grown on his face over the course of the previous 24 hours. Almost on instinct, James headed through to the shower to shave his face clean of stubble, before turning his razor to the rest of his body, removing any stray hairs that had grown on his limbs or his chest since the last time he’d checked. When James stepped out of the shower, he had absolutely no hair on his body below his eyebrows- and that fact made him feel oddly satisfied, even as he covered his body with a fresh pair of jeans and a clean sweatshirt.
“Morning, then!” James’s mother said with a chuckle as the young man came down the stairs and flopped into his spot on the sofa. “Have you really shaved two days in a row?”
“…My workplace kinda demands it,” James replied. “Good to, you know, get into the habit of it.”
“I thought you worked freelance?” Mrs. Connolly asked, making her son squirm. “Not that it matters, you do look much better clean-shaven.”
“Thanks,” James said. “And ‘freelance’ isn’t quite the same thing as ‘self-employed’, you know?”
“It’s your job, you know best,” James’s mother shrugged. “What do you have planned for today?”
“Probably just staying here,” James chuckled, patting the seat next to him. “Making the most of my time off, you know? Though I’ll probably do a little writing too…”
“On your latest story?” James’s mother asked, smiling as her son nodded. “Your dad will be proud that you’re working so hard at your job.” Probably not if he finds out what I’m writing about, James thought to himself.
“Thanks,” the brown-haired boy mumbled. “Umm, anything good on TV today?”
“Just the usual daytime shows,” James’s mother shrugged. “Think they’ve got that Hannah girl who won Strictly on This Morning this- well, this morning, heh.”
“Oh,” James, before a sudden wave of realisation washed over him. “Oh, is- isn’t she, you know, in that, like, modelling clique?” The one whose members- including Hannah herself- I’ve met more than once through my association with their dance teacher, James mentally continued his question.
“Yep, that’s her,” James’s mother replied. “Don’t tell me you’ve met her? Through work, maybe?” God, what are you, a mind reader? James thought to himself.
“…Nah, just know a few people who are fans, that’s all,” James said hesitantly. “Aren’t- aren’t they the group with, you know, a transsexual member?”
“I think so,” James’s mother replied with a confused look on her face. “Why are you so interested in them all of a sudden?”
“Oh- you’re the one who brought her up,” James reminded his mother. “It- it’s a bit weird, you know, isn’t it?”
“Oh it’s incredibly weird,” James’s mother snorted. “Waking up one day and deciding that you’re going to be a woman instead of a man… What kind of trauma must you go through to make THAT seem like an acceptable option?”
“Maybe merely being born male is traumatic enough for them?” James asked, making his mother pause for thought.
“…No, no, that can’t be right,” James’s mother said, shaking her head. “You are what you, and if you’re born a man, then that means you’re a man, simple as that. It doesn’t mean you can’t be depressed, but there are better ways to get over your depression then dressing up like a woman, surely?”
“I guess,” James shrugged, his heart sinking as he realised that he would never be able to confide in his parents about his experiences as ‘Sophie’. He’d known that they’d been conservatively minded, but had hoped that the examples of the likes of Jamie-Lee Burke and Stephanie Abbott would’ve been enough to open their mind. It was obvious from his mother’s words that that simply wouldn’t be the case.
James was so disappointed, in fact, that it took him a while to remember that unlike Amy, or Hayley, or any of her other friends and colleagues, he wasn’t ACTUALLY transgendered, and was only pretending to be for the purpose of her expose. And yet that still didn’t come as much of a comfort to the 23 year old man. And he still had people he could confide in, such as Rachel or Amelie, even if he had to pull on a dress, a leotard or a ridiculous costume to do so- none of which, much to James’s surprise, bothered him in the slightest.
“I think there’s an airline that only hires trannies, isn’t there?” James’s mother asked, causing the young man’s whole body to tense up. “I know I won’t be flying with THEM at any point in the future!” James forced out a laugh to disguise his sigh of relief- after the conversation he’d just had, the last thing he needed was to run into his parents on a flight…
----------
“Home, sweet Heathrow!” Natalie giggled as she returned to the locker room and eagerly stripped off her blazer, hat and shoes.
“Just glad it was an easy one today,” Rhianna said.
“Dublin’s always easy,” Carly said as she unfastened the gold buttons on her blazer. “Irish people are usually really laid back, especially about, well…”
“Girls?” Rhianna and Natalie asked simultaneously, making their petite blonde supervisor blush.
“Damn right!” Carly giggled.
“And thanks for leaving us in the lurch in one of the busiest months of the year, Nat,” Rhianna asked in her distinctive Scottish twang, making the Manchester native blush.
“Least I could do,” Natalie giggled.
“Have you got leave in December?” Carly asked.
“Zoe’s sister’s birthday tomorrow,” Natalie explained. “She’s 29- well, 29 tomorrow- so it’ll be her last one as an active stewardess, so we’re heading down to Nice to celebrate with the rest of her family.”
“So cool,” Rhianna sighed jealousy. “Wish I had a fiancé with family who lived on the Mediterranean coast…”
“Get yourself on more red route flights!” Carly teased, giggling as she untied her French plait and retied her long blonde hair into a smart ponytail. “Speaking of, are you going to wait for your sister?”
“Nah,” Natalie sighed as she was zipped into her tight black pencil dress. “We’ve arranged to meet up at Rachel’s pub, her and Amelie, assuming ‘the princess’ can get away from ‘the king’.”
“Another lover to be jealous of,” Rhianna said with a snort of laughter. “The daughter of a billionaire…”
“He’s got two others,” Natalie shrugged, before sighing as Carly rolled her eyes.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that,” Carly snorted. “Like everything else I’ve pretended not to hear over the years…”
“Swot,” Natalie teased, before frowning as her supervisor’s mood didn’t improve. “Oh come on, Carly…”
“I’ll- I’ll leave you two it,” the petite supervisor said with a tired chuckle as she left the locker room.
“And I’ll leave you one to it,” Natalie said to her Scottish colleague, who giggled and waved as the Manchester native left the locker room, only to immediately discover her supervisor deep in conversation with her manager.
“Ah, Natalie,” Alana said with a stern look on her face. “Can you wait in the locker room, please? I’ll need to talk to you in a bit.”
“Umm… Sure,” Natalie said, returning to the locker room and gingerly taking a seat in her tight dress.
“Problem?” Rhianna asked, confused by Natalie’s sudden return.
“Eh, probably,” Natalie sighed. “Unless Alana wants to make me employee of the month.”
“Not likely,” Rhianna sighed. “Reckon it’ll have anything to do with last night?”
“Why would she need to talk to ME about that?” Natalie scoffed. “Amelie and Ellen are their own people. Ah, speaking of, better text her, tell her I might be running late…”
“When’s she getting in?” Rhianna asked.
“About 45 minutes,” Natalie shrugged. “We’ll probably end up going together.”
“With a £100 employee of the month voucher to spend while getting tanned in the south of France?” Rhianna teased.
“Piss off,” Natalie giggled, before waving after Rhianna as the Scottish girl left Natalie alone in the room.
Natalie waited for over an hour, during which several other crews came and went. The Mancunian girl began to suspect that she’d been forgotten about and was about and was about to go and check where her manager had got to, when another crew entered the locker room- a crew containing several very familiar faces.
“What are you still doing here?” Ellen asked her sister as she removed her red hat, blazer and shoes. “Thought we were going to meet at Rachel’s pub?”
“Yep, I thought that too,” Natalie sighed. “Alana practically jumped me as I left the locker room, said she wants to have a word with me, god knows why…”
“Oh,” Ellen said, her demeanour instantly darkening.
“…What?” Natalie asked her sister.
“You know what,” Ellen sighed. “God, I’m so sorry…”
“What- no… Surely not?” Natalie asked. “Because of last night?”
“This is his DAUGHTER we’re talking about,” Ellen sighed. “You know he’s gonna do anything he can to try to- well, you know…”
“No matter how illegal it might be?” Natalie asked, before taking a deep breath as the stewardesses’ manager poked her head around the door and stared sternly at the two sisters.
Five minutes later, after Ellen had changed into the smart top and pencil skirt she’d worn to work, the sisters found themselves sat in the office of their manager, who stared at them with a stern look on her face.
“Natalie, Ellen,” Alana said with a clipped voice. “I’ve asked to speak to you today as I’ve received several concerning reports about your behaviour whilst at work.” Have you really… Both girls thought to themselves. “Particularly you, Natalie.”
“…Me?” Natalie asked, before taking a deep breath to strengthen her resolve. “Do you have any examples? Any specific complaints?”
“You don’t need to know about that,” Alana said, which only further strengthened the 25 year old woman.
“Actually, I believe I do have that right,” Natalie replied- even though she didn't know this for certain.
“Actually, you don’t, and there’s nothing you can do about it,” Alana replied. “You don’t have a trade union, Natalie, and you only work here at the pleasure of our owner and CEO. And should he become displeased…” Alana stared pointedly at Ellen, who squirmed in her seat. “…Then we may have to reconsider your status with the company.”
“If you need to punish someone, punish me,” Ellen said. “Leave Natalie out of this, she’s got nothing to do with what happened last night.”
“Ellen, don’t,“ Natalie whispered to her sister.
“We haven’t received any complaints about your performance, Ellen,” Alana explained.
“Then why am I even in here?” Ellen asked incredulously.
“As the two of you are sisters,” Alana explained, “you’re in the perfect position to offer additional help to Natalie, like coaching, or… Or other things you can do that might make life easier for her.”
“Oh, you bitch,” Ellen whispered, realisation dawning on her. “That’s the plan, isn’t it? You can’t punish me without angering Amelie, and you’re too afraid to do that, so you threaten Natalie instead. What, these complaints- that probably never existed in the first place- magically vanish if I break up with her? Then Amelie goes running heartbroken back to daddy, thinking the break-up is genuine?”
“Like I said,” Alana said, choosing to ignore Ellen’s insult. “You’re in a position to help out your sister a lot. Don’t waste this opportunity. You might not get another one.”
“…Fine,” Ellen growled, the anger not vanishing from her eyes.
“You two can go now,” Alana said dismissively. Keeping their jaws clenched shut so as to not say anything they might later regret, the two sisters stood up and left the office, before heading to the nearest tube station.
“…We’re telling Rachel about this, right?” Ellen asked quietly.
“Have you gone mental?” Natalie asked. “Of course we are.”
A short while later, the two sisters were sat at a private table at the pub managed by their thirty year old friend, who listened intently as the two sisters told her about the meeting they’d just come from.
“Oh, god…” Rachel sighed as Ellen finished the story. “Ellen, I- I’m so sorry to hear that…”
“Thanks,” Ellen whispered.”
“It’s not her job at stake, though,” Natalie snorted.
“Well, yes, but- and I don’t mean to sound unsympathetic, but- you can get another job, you know?” Rachel replied.
“I’ll never get another Amelie,” Ellen whispered. “Okay, yes, I know, there’s no guarantee we’ll still be together a year from now, but- but I really love her, you know? She’s funny, she’s sexy, she’s got this REALLY devious streak about her…”
“You two ARE made for each other,” Natalie said quietly.
“…What, really?” Ellen asked with a chuckle. “After the way you were when we first got together?”
“You were sneaking around behind my back,” Natalie said. “You’d never been interested in girls before, she was- well, richer than King bloody Midas and you had to have known that when it came out, it’d be a firestorm.”
“…Kinda,” Ellen mumbled.
“I was just being an older sibling,” Natalie said. “But you’re obviously in love with each other, she makes you happy, you make her happy, where’s the problem?”
“I think the problem is while you’ve accepted them, Amelie’s family haven’t,” Rachel said softly.
“What they’re doing can’t be legal, surely?” Ellen asked.
“Oh, it’s about as legal as going up to someone in the street and stabbing them,” Rachel snorted. “Problem is, they fire Natalie, she tries to sue for unfair dismissal, they spend millions on a lawyer, Natalie doesn’t.”
“Rock and a hard place,” Natalie sighed. “Unless you could hook me up with Josh Benedict’s lawyer?”
“He’s a got a big heart but I think some things are a bit of a stretch even for him,” Rachel sighed.
“Even though Nat’s engaged to one of his employees?” Ellen asked.
“Technically Zoe doesn’t work for him, she works for Krystie,” Natalie sighed. “Joshua’s invested in the dance school but doesn’t own it, unlike this pub.”
“Though that being said…” Rachel said, a twinkle coming to her eye. “Had an idea. Might need to make a phone call or two. You okay if I pop out for a bit?”
“Sure,” Ellen shrugged.
“Don’t go to too much trouble,” Natalie said. “Don’t like, call in favours you can’t afford, I’m still counting on this blowing over eventually. With Ellen and Amelie still together.”
“You may need to face reality here, Nat,” Rachel whispered, taking her phone out of her jeans pocket and heading behind the bar. The blonde Englishwoman had only been gone for seconds when three more young women entered the pub- one of whom immediately rushed over to give Natalie a long, tight hug.
“Ugh, that shitty place,” Zoe sighed, sniffing back a tear as she embraced her fiancée. “I am sorry I was not here earlier, class-“
“Don’t worry about it,” Natalie whispered, giving her fiancée a kiss as they, along with Jessica and Paige, sat down at the small table. “Might need you to start working overtime, heh.”
“Jessica said,” Zoe said in a quiet, dark voice.
“J- Jess?” Natalie asked.
“Got called into a meeting with Alana after we got back from Madrid,” the American woman explained. “She said that from now on, when we’re on flights together, I’m to give you extra scrutiny, make a note of every tiny infraction you make. She didn’t specifically say so but she hinted that she expected a report from every flight and that she expected at least one thing on every report.”
“Ah, shit,” Natalie sighed.
“I talked to Carly about this, and she’s heard the same thing,” Jessica said. “So you can guess all supervisors have had the same message. They probably all feel as uncomfortable with it as me and Carly did. She didn’t even know the reason behind it either.”
“Only positive is that we might see her wearing a tutu at some point in the near future,” Paige said. “Her and several other girls, too!”
“No offence,” Natalie sighed, “But I’d rather see me wearing the Soixante-Trois uniform than Carly wearing a tutu. Not that I don’t appreciate the support, but- but I really loved this job, you know? And not just because of the uniform, but- but it was always a dream job, you know? Getting paid to travel all around the world, see all manner of places, meet new people… And spend as much time as a woman as I wanted.”
“You can get that last one in any job,” Ellen reminded her sister.
“Not ANY job,” Natalie sighed.
“Well- we are on holiday for the next few days,” Zoe said. “We can use the opportunity to relax, no?”
“Ugh, don’t think I’m going to be much fun the next week, sorry,” Natalie sighed, earning another hug from her fiancée.
“Sulk if you must,” Zoe mumbled, before releasing the hug as Rachel returned to the table.
“Nat, have you got a second?” Rachel asked.
“Anything you need to say to me, the rest of the girls can hear too,” Natalie said.
“…I’d rather go somewhere quiet first,” Rachel said. “If you want to talk it through with the girls, then by all means, but I- I want to make sure you understand what I’m saying first.”
“Well- okay, then,” Natalie said, smoothing her dress as she rose from her seat and followed Rachel into the back room of the pub.
“What d’you suppose they’re talking about?” Paige asked.
“I dunno,” Jessica replied. “But knowing those two, it’s probably going to be something we’re going to hear about.”
“Us and the rest of the world,” Ellen chuckled as they waited for their friends’ return.
The following morning, Natalie strode into Heathrow airport with an air of determination surrounding her body. Her hair was tied back, away from her face, revealing its masculine shape, and her filed-down nails were devoid of colour. Her chest, underneath her loose-fitting sweatshirt, was flat, as was her unconstructed waist, her legs were covered in tight black leggings, thick socks and her favourite pair of trainers, and in her hand was her employee ID, which she used to let herself into the Soixante-Trois Airlines employee area. With her signature cheeky grin in place, Natalie knocked on the door of her manager’s office.
“Come in,” Alana said, before frowning at the sight that greeted her. “What do you think you’re doing, Natalie?”
“Matthew,” the 25 year old corrected his manager in his natural deep Manchester accent. “As of last night, anyway. Submitted the deed poll form and the money so I should get my new documents through soon. However, both ‘Natalie’ and ‘Matthew’ have one very important thing in common.”
“And what’s that?” Alana sighed.
“We’re not going to let ourselves be bullied by you, or by that billionaire whose arse you’ve got your tongue lodged so deep into,” Matthew said, leaning over Alana’s desk and talking straight into her face. “And we’re certainly not going to let you pick on our little sister either. So if you’re going to treat my family, and my job, and the damned near four years I gave this company, with such contempt, then you’re welcome to it.”
“So- what?” Alana snorted. “You’re going to just get another job, just like that, that won’t require a reference? Because you’re not exactly going to get a good one from me, are you?”
“I’ve already had two job offers,” Matthew said, his smug grin taking some of the wind out of his former manager’s sails. “One of them- believe it or not- in a management role! So pass this message on to Fat Tony- his daughter and my sister are a couple. Get used to it.”
“Your sister’s probably going to get fired and blackballed,” Alana retorted with a derisive snort. “Get used to THAT.”
“Oh- don’t tell me, I don’t work for you anymore,” Matthew giggled. “She, on the other hand, does.”
“Who, your pathetic little sis-“ Alana snorted, before panicking as she saw the identity of the uniformed woman stood in her doorway. “Am- Am- Am- Am- Amelie!?”
“You were saying, about the woman who I love?” The twenty year old Frenchwoman asked.
“I’m- I’m-“ Alana babbled.
“Stay away from Ellen,” Amelie threatened. “And stay away from me.”
“…Or what?” Alana asked, taking a deep breath to compose herself. “You can’t tell your father what I’ve done. He’s the one who told me to do this. You know he’ll never accept you and Ellen, a working-class English girl? It’s a miracle he hasn’t already disowned you.”
“It’s not just my father that you need to worry about,” Amelie said. “I have always wondered what would come if two of my father’s lawyers were to go against each other.”
“You’d sue your father?” Alana snorted.
“No,” Amelie replied. “I would sue you. For being bullying at work. And I have my best witness right here. I am sure a court would be interested to hear what she says.”
“…Okay, fine!” Alana moaned. “But your father-“
“I will deal with my father,” Amelie said confidently. “It is guaranteed that things will change around here quickly. Ellen and I shall remain lovers. He will accept it.”
“He will want results from me,” Alana said matter-of-factly. “He wants me to break the two of you up.”
“Where is that written in your job description?” Amelie asked. “Two of your employees are not just lovers but engaged and living together. If Jessica and Paige, why not Amelie and Ellen?”
“I will have to tell your father we had this conversation,” Alana said.
“Do that,” Amelie said. “Now if you will excuse me, I have a flight to catch.”
“And by happy coincidence,” Matthew interjected, “so do I. The Riviera is much more- well, if you’ll forgive the pun, nice- when you know you won’t be returning to work when you get home. Toodles!” Matthew and Amelie shared a smug grin as they left the manager’s office, before heading to their respective planes for their flights.
“It went well, then?” Zoe asked as she shared a kiss with her fiancé in the check-in queue.
“Couldn’t have gone better,” Matthew giggled.
“I still cannot believe you will be managing a coffee shop,” Zoe said with a snort of laughter.
“…Deputy manager,” Matthew mumbled, before letting out a giggle. “And being Josh Benedict’s on-call translator. Gonna be all the more essential now that they’ve launched the Italian Angel group.”
“But still no French group!” Zoe pouted.
“Find Big Josh half a dozen gorgeous Frenchwomen and see what he says,” Matthew shrugged.
“…Nah,” Zoe giggled. “I do not want competition!”
“Aww,” Matthew cooed, giving his fiancée another kiss. “Like I’d ever look at any other woman. Who else would love me even I do keep stealing their leotards?”
“What other man would happily become a ballerina?” Zoe asked. “Or share make-up and fashion?”
“More men than you might think,” Matthew said with a grin.
“I am more than happy with the man- and the woman- I already have!” Zoe giggled, giving her fiancée one more kiss as they headed toward their plane…
----------
“You are kidding me!?” Abbey asked, giggling as Amelie poured out glasses of wine for her friends.
“I am not,” Amelie said with a smug grin. “Walked in looking like no gender, spoke as ‘Matthew’ and looked as she wanted to push her ID up Alana’s arse.”
“Now THAT is the end of an era,” Anna-Jade sighed. “I’m the longest-serving employee of anyone here! Fuck me, I think I’m the longest-serving employee of anyone left.”
“End of an era in more than one way,” Paige sighed. “Reckon it’ll be all ‘Matthew’ from here on?”
“Absolutely not,” Amelie said confidently. “Our friend is ‘Natalie’. She loves being feminine as much as everyone here. We will see her in a dress before Christmas. It will be a surprise more if we see her in trousers before Christmas!”
“Nat’s always been different like that,” Ellen explained. “What she calls ‘bigendered’, happy as male OR female. But usually preferring ‘female’, heh.”
“And making a damned good looking female, too!” Anna-Jade giggled.
“God,” Hayley sighed as she leaned back into her seat. “Bet you’re regretting missing all the fun, Sophie!”
“…Yes,” Sophie confessed, a smirk creeping across her immaculately made-up face as she finished her wine and poured another glass for herself and her friends, elegantly bending at the waist and keeping her nylon-covered knees pressed tightly together as she expertly balanced on her high-heeled shoes. Sophie- who was genuinely kicking herself that she’d missed the excitement- made a mental note to speak to Natalie when she returned, getting her side of the story for her expose, but she also made a mental note to speak to Natalie about one other, very significant thing.
When James had returned to his flat earlier in the afternoon- finding it empty, with Amy still at her parents and Hayley on a flight- he tried to relax, knowing he didn’t have to become Sophie for several hours. However, every minute he spent in the flat as ‘James’ felt somehow ‘wrong’ to him, as though he didn’t belong in the flat- but he knew someone who did.
Half an hour later- long before Hayley was due back from her flight- Sophie strode out of her bedroom dressed in a comfortable denim skirt, warm black tights and a clingy grey top, her ‘shape’ enhanced by the padding on her chest and a tight elastic cincher around her waist. As she sat down on the sofa once again, Sophie felt far more comfortable than she had as ‘James’, but at the same time, she still felt out of place- just as she did at Amelie’s party. Visibly, there was no obvious problem- all ten of the women at the party were wearing little black dresses, light-coloured nylons, high-heeled shoes and plenty of make-up. But inside, Sophie still felt out of place… Until she heard about ‘Matthew’. She’d never heard the term ‘bigendered’ before, at least not when discussed in such great detail, and it resonated with her. Maybe ‘Sophie’ was an even bigger part of her life than she’d imagined, and like ‘Natalie’ was to ‘Matthew’, could be a regular, if not major part of ‘James’s life. If only she could be certain that her parents would accept ‘Sophie’…
One thing was certain to the eager young journalist, though- ‘Sophie’ wasn’t going anywhere for a long time. She told herself that this was to ensure that she didn’t miss any more potential ‘scoops’, but deep down inside, she was loving every second she could spend in her female life…
Sophie fidgeted as the excitement of the crowd around her began to intensify. It wasn’t the first wedding that she’d attended- not by a long way- but it still brought with it a clutch of new feelings.
For starters, when Sophie had attended weddings in the past, she’d been dressed in a smart suit, a tie and lace-up shoes, a far cry from the smart pencil dress, high-heeled pumps and elegant hat she’d donned earlier in the day. She’d been sat with family during the last wedding, whereas during this wedding, she was sat between her two flatmates and best friends. The previous wedding had been in a church in London, whilst this wedding was in a Manchester hotel’s events room that had been specially decorated for the event. The most significant change between the two weddings, however, were the people who would be marrying each other. The previous wedding had been of Sophie’s cousin and his fiancée- and neither of them had been dressed like the two women who Sophie had been out with the previous night.
“Good god, my head…” Hayley moaned, taking several deep breaths to try to clear her pain-filled skull.
“Your fault for drinking so much,” Amy said with a snort of laughter.
“It was my first hen night,” Hayley shrugged.
“Yeah, it was mine too,” Sophie said with a smirk that widened as the younger woman rolled her eyes- an action that somehow made her headache even worse.
“I am never drinking spirits again...” Hayley moaned.
“Take it you’re not coming tae our wedding, then?” Paige asked from her seat in the row in front of the three flatmates.
“Aye,” Jessica said with a smug grin that disguised her own hangover. “Ever drank whisky out of a pint glass?” The four women all giggled as Hayley moaned even louder than she had before, though their giggles were soon silenced when the room was filled with loud music.
“Is- is this ‘Right Here, Right Now’ by Fatboy Slim?” Sophie asked.
“Shush,” Jessica ordered, silencing Sophie as the music segued between ‘Right Here, Right Now’, ‘House of Love’ by East 17, ‘Digital Love’ by Daft Punk and a couple of other tracks that Sophie didn’t recognise- not that she was paying attention to the music, of course, as within seconds of it starting, the doors at the rear of the room opened and two young women in elaborate dresses glided into the room.
“Wow,” Sophie breathed as she stared closely at the two brides and their gowns. Both of them lad tight, low-cut bodices and poofy, floor-length skirts- but that was where the resemblance to normal wedding dresses ended. Rather than the traditional white, both dresses were in a shade of blue- Zoe’s dress was in a dark blue colour, reminiscent of the traditional Blue de France, while Natalie’s was light blue, which Sophie immediately identified as the colour of the kit of Manchester City Football Club. Both women’s hair, make-up and nails had been primped to perfection, and Sophie marvelled at how effortlessly beautiful and feminine Natalie looked… When Sophie knew that she didn’t have a drop of oestrogen in her, much like Sophie herself. Natalie was clearly completely at ease with her feminine identity- and with every passing day, Sophie felt more and more comfortable with her own feminine identity.
Thanks to her job, Sophie wasn’t able to spend as much time with her family over Christmas as she’d liked, though what time she did spend with them was spent as James- which brought mixed feelings for Sophie. On the one hand, it was an opportunity to relax, to not care about her appearance or her demeanour, to not have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t. However, every second she spent as a woman made ‘Sophie’ more and more ‘real’ in her mind, to the point that she was no longer sure where ‘James’ ended and ‘Sophie’ began- and as a result, whilst she was with her family over Christmas, she wasn’t sure if ‘Sophie’ was her ‘real’ identity and she was only pretending to be ‘James’, a worry that grew stronger with every subsequent period of time she spent as ‘James’. Whilst with her family, she would constantly find herself questioning her behaviour, hoping that none of 'Sophie's mannerisms had accidentally shone through, that she would be the son her parents raised, but when Christmas ended and she went back to her flat, Sophie felt almost relieved to be regaining her identity as a girl.
All of the early discomfort that she’d associated with being ‘Sophie’ had vanished- she’d grown to enjoy wearing the clothes, the shoes and the make-up, and even enjoyed acting in a convincingly feminine manner. What Sophie had grown to enjoy the most about ‘her’ life, though, was the friendships that she’d made.
Sophie had quickly grown closer to Amy and Hayley than ‘James’ had to any of his friends from school, university or work. The three would spend their evenings gossiping about work, friends and family, planning girly nights out (or girly parties in), even exchanging fashion and beauty tips- something Sophie knew nothing about seven months earlier, but had quickly amassed a wealth of knowledge. It was Sophie herself who’d picked out the dress, hat and shoes she wore to the wedding (during a shopping trip with Amy and Hayley that had lasted over four hours), Sophie who’d applied her own make-up and nail polish, and it was even her who had recommended the eye shadow that Hayley was wearing.
However, as comfortable as Sophie was in her life, she still felt a twinge within her telling her not to get too comfortable- partly because ‘Sophie’ was still a secret to anyone who knew ‘James’, but also because her initial ‘contract’ with Rachel was to go undercover for six months- and those six months had expired a week earlier.
“So cool,” Amy sighed as the two brides danced hand-in-hand down the aisle, each followed by two bridesmaids (Natalie by her two younger sisters and Zoe by her older sister and Sophie’s friend and colleague Amelie). As the couple reached the makeshift altar- and the tall, elegantly dressed woman stood behind it- the music faded out to be replaced by the excited giggles of the crowd, and the even more excited giggling of the two brides.
“Dearly beloved,” Krystie- Zoe’s business partner and the ceremony’s minister- announced to the assembled crowd. “We are here to witness the ultimate declaration of love between these two people, both of whom I am privileged to call my friend. But we are not just here to witness it- we are here to celebrate it as well!” The two brides shrieked with excitement as everyone in the crowd suddenly rose from their seats and showered them with an avalanche of confetti and streamers.
“As you may have been able to tell from the quote-unquote wedding march, this isn’t going to be your normal wedding ceremony!” Krystie teased. “These two had that last week in France.”
“That wasn’t all they had!” Ellen teased, giggling as her sister replied by hurling a handful of streamers in her face.
“…That ceremony was more dignified than this one shall be!” Zoe reassured the crowd.
“That’s for certain,” Krystie said with a wide grin. “Because that first ceremony was conducted under the eyes of family and of god. This one, however, will be much more intimate- as it’ll be conducted under the eyes of friends.” Natalie and Zoe squeaked with excitement again as their friends all rose from their seats and surrounded them in a tight, intimate group hug.
“Zatalie! Zatalie!” The crowd chanted as they grew more and more energised.
“The couple have prepared special vows for each other,” Krystie- who was barely able to contain her own excitement- announced.
“Natalie,” Zoe began, clearing her throat and trying to regain her composure. “When I met you, I did not know what to think. You were a spirit that was free, you did not define yourself by what the world thought of you, and you showed me that there were no limits to how a person could live their life. From you I knew how to seize the day- but the thing I am most glad to have seized is you. And I promise that I will never, ever let you go, that I will never let you be unhappy, that I will never demand that you be anyone other than who you are- man or woman, the most amazing and generous person in the world.” The assembled crowd sighed happily as Zoe concluded her vows.
“Zoe, my perfect star,” Natalie whispered in an uncharacteristically emotional voice, “I never imagined that I would ever meet anyone as truly amazing as you. You are the most open-minded, warm-hearted and loving person in the entire world, and I am privileged to call myself both your husband AND your wife. I promise that I will always put you first, before everything else. Because there is nothing in this world that I love more than you, now or forever. Wherever you go, I will always be at your side, and wherever I go, I will always hold you in the centre of my heart and my soul.” More happy sighs filled the room, before Krystie cleared her throat to address the crowd.
“Natalie Naomi Briggs,” the tall blonde woman asked, “do you take Zoe to be your spouse, now and forever?”
“I do,” Natalie replied.
“Zoe Christelle Renou,” Krystie asked, “do you take Natalie to be your spouse, now and forever?”
“I do,” Zoe whispered.
“Then by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church,” Krystie announced, “I hereby declare you married. …Yes, you may kiss!” The crowd cheered and showered the couple with yet more confetti and streamers as they exchanged a long, deep kiss.
After the kiss (which was photographed by virtually everyone present on their phones) the brides and their guests retreated to the side of the room while the hotel staff rearranged it for the next part of the ceremony. Numerous photos were taken of the brides, their families and their friends, before a table was set up at the side of the room for the two brides to climb on top of, bouquets in hand.
“I swear, if Ophelia fucking Love catches either of these,” Anna-Jade said, earning giggles from the eager women around her.
“I shall remind you that I am a married woman,” Ophelia- a close friend of the newlyweds- retorted from where she was stood at the other side of the room with the other ‘unavailable woman’. “And that is NOT my middle name.”
“Well I am NOT a married woman,” Amy said excitedly. “And with any luck, that WILL be my middle name!”
“Bring it on, ya slag!” Anna-Jade teased, bringing an evil grin to Amy’s face.
“Madames,” Zoe said in a stern, teacher-like voice, effortlessly silencing the women. “On trois. Ready? Un, deux, trois!”
Sophie watched with an excited grin as the bouquet flew into the gaggle of women, landing in the outstretched hand of her friend and colleague Annabelle- whose smug smile immediately earned the ire of her friends.
“Thanks, honeys!” Annabelle said with a polite curtsey, her calm Atlanta accent betraying a smidge of the excitement she felt at catching the bouquet.
“Okay, second time lucky for someone!” Natalie announced, exaggerating her naturally thick Manchester accent to contrast with Annabelle’s voice. “On THREE this time! One, two, three!” Again, Sophie watched as the bouquet flew over the crowd, but this time, she found herself instinctively reaching toward it herself. Time seemed to slow down for Sophie as the bouquet made its way into her outstretched hand, which instantly clamped closed around the stalks of the flowers.
“Oh- for god’s sake!” Amy groaned as Sophie found herself laughing triumphantly while holding the bouquet aloft. “Boo!”
“Boo yourself,” Sophie retorted, sticking her tongue out at the ginger woman and giggling excitedly.
“And she hasn’t even been looking for anyone,” Hayley playfully scoffed as Sophie’s cheeks began to redden.
“Neither’s Annabelle,” Abbey said with a smug grin as her American friend began to blush as well. “Maybe they’ll find romance with each other?”
“Sure, we’ve got an ordained minister here,” Anna-Jade teased. “May as well marry the two of them off now!”
“I’d rather not, honeys,” Annabelle said, before turning to Sophie with a warm smile on her face. “I prefer my lovers a bit more… masculine, hehe!” Sophie giggled at Annabelle’s teasing, even as her conscious mind tried to tell her that she’d just had her masculinity insulted. A normal man would, and maybe even should be mortally offended by such an accusation. And yet Sophie didn’t see it as an insult at all, but as a compliment- and that was how she took it.
“Thanks,” Sophie giggled. “And don’t worry about it Annabelle- even though you WOULD be girly enough for me, hehe!”
“You’re welcome, honey,” Annabelle replied. “And thank YOU, hehe!” Sophie giggled as she and Annabelle posed for photos with their bouquets, before rejoining the crowd as the happy couple were led to a large table piled high with presents- all of which were wrapped in shiny blue paper of numerous different shades.
Once everyone’s bellies were full and their excitement levels had dropped slightly, the two brides took to their feet, drawing the attention of the suddenly-silent room toward them.
“Ladies, and what few gentlemen are here today,” Natalie announced. “And Greg, wherever you’ve crawled off to.”
“Watch it,” Greg- Natalie’s brother- playfully retorted as the women in the room giggled.
“I’d like to thank you all for coming today,” Natalie said with a warm, genuine smile on her immaculately made-up face. “I would say that many of you don’t know what it means to me to be able to stand here today, like this, but the truth is, a good few of you do know what it’s like. I often dreamed about marrying the most amazing woman in the world. But marrying AS an amazing- even if I do say so myself- woman? Not that long ago, I thought that would be impossible. But I've learned to never say never! And looking out at all your faces, seeing all of you accepting me as the woman I am just makes this day all the more special. Even you, Greg." Natalie's brother rolled his eyes as he was single out once again. "Growing up," Natalie continued, "I had three major dreams: to see Man City win the premiership, to be able to live and work as a woman anytime I pleased, and to marry the most amazing girl in the world. And at the age of 25, I’ve accomplished all three of those goals. Well, I can’t really claim all the credit for the first one. And if I’m honest, I can’t claim it for the second one either, not with the endless love and support my friends have shown me over the last four years. And I definitely can’t claim any of the credit for the last one. Zoe, you aren’t just my wife, or my best friend, you are the other half of my soul. Without you, I simply wouldn’t exist. There needs to be a better word than ‘love’ for the way I feel about you. Though I think we can all agree that ‘love’ is the best word in the world.”
“Oui,” Zoe whispered, blinking back tears as she giggled at her wife’s speech.
“And my new dreams, obviously, are to see Man City win the Champions League, to become a proper ballerina in a proper production and to become a parent,” Natalie said, earning giggles from the rest of the room.
“I shall help you as always with the second,” Zoe said as she stood and linked fingers with her wife. “You may wait for the first. And wait even longer for the third!”
“Good things are worth waiting for,” Natalie said, giving her wife a long kiss before sitting down, taking extra care not to crease her ostentatious dress.
“Mes amies,” Zoe said with a wide, beaming smile. “Natalie has thanked you for coming today, but I would like to thank you for more- for being there for us for every day before today.”
As Zoe continued her speech, Sophie found herself tuning out as she focussed on the words that Natalie had said- specifically, that she should never say never. Sophie had occasionally entertained thoughts of getting married, but had never before imagined that she could be a bride herself. All that had changed over the previous six months. The unconditional acceptance that all of Natalie’s friends had shown her- someone who was legally, genetically, anatomically and chemically male- filled Sophie with a sense of optimism she hadn’t felt before.
It wasn’t until Sophie reminded herself that she’d never before wanted to be female that her sense of optimism began to fade. If Natalie was a ‘man in a dress’, then that applied even more so for Sophie. And yet, as Natalie and Zoe took to the floor for their first dance, Sophie couldn’t help but imagine herself on the dancefloor, wearing a beautiful bridal gown and dancing with her new wife…
“Penny for your thoughts?” Rachel whispered, giggling as she made Sophie jump with shock.
“Don’t do that!” Sophie hissed, making Rachel laugh even louder. “I just- I dunno. They look so happy together…”
“They just got married, they should!” Rachel giggled. “Can’t wait for my turn…”
“Set a date yet?” Sophie asked.
“Probably summer next year,” Rachel replied. “Though we can’t be too specific just yet, what with his sister’s job and all…”
“Funny thinking of ‘being a member of one of Britain’s biggest girl bands’ as a ‘job’,” Sophie retorted, making Rachel giggle again.
“A bit like your ‘job’?” Rachel asked, smiling as Sophie grimaced. “That’s something we’ll need to talk about soon, I guess. How long have you been working there now?”
“Six- six months,” Sophie says, taking a deep breath as the married couple’s dance ends and the dancefloor starts to fill with other couples. “Can we go somewhere- you know, somewhere else where we can talk without, you know, people who shouldn’t be listening?”
“Well- sure, I guess,” Rachel shrugged. “Pretty much everyone here is in the project, though, and those who aren’t are sympathetic to what we’re trying to achieve…”
“Yeah, it’s- it’s something else,” Sophie said as Rachel led her to a quiet, secluded corner of the vast room.
“So… What’s up?” Rachel asked. “The stuff you’ve compiled has been REALLY good, especially the pictures you were able to get! I don’t want to imagine how hard THEY must’ve been to take.”
“A bit, yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“And you must be looking forward to getting back to being ‘James’, right?” Rachel asked with a giggle.
“…A bit, yeah,” Sophie said with a nervous, hasty laugh.
“Though I guess it’s up to you whether you’d rather wear a dress or a suit to my wedding, hehe!” Rachel giggled.
“Yeah,” Sophie said with a nervous chuckle as she tried to formulate in her mind the words she wanted to say to Rachel. However, as hard as she tried, she realised that she couldn’t describe her feelings in a way that could convince herself, let alone her friend. Sophie giggled in an attempt to stall, to give herself more time to think, but as she did so, the two women were interrupted by a sudden presence looming over them.
“There you are!” Danny chuckled as he greeted his fiancée with a gentle kiss. “Thought I saw you two wandering off. Ahem. Miss Harrison, might I trouble you for a dance?”
“As long as the person you rudely interrupted doesn’t mind?” Rachel replied, making her fiancé chuckle with embarrassment as Sophie internally cringed. However, she still had no idea what she wanted to say to Rachel, much less how to say it, and she wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth…
“Sure!” Sophie shrugged, making Rachel giggle as she took Danny’s hand and headed to the dancefloor, leaving the brown-haired girl alone with her thoughts.
As she sat alone in the corner, Sophie wondered what exactly she had wanted to say to Rachel. That she liked wearing dresses, heels and make-up? That she wasn’t ready to give up ‘Sophie’s life just yet? That she might even want to make ‘her’ a semi-permanent, or maybe even permanent arrangement? How would Rachel- or anyone else, for that matter- react to that? As Sophie glanced out over the room, however, she realised that the reaction she would get would almost certainly not be a negative one. There were countless people in the room who were genetically male, but were dressed similarly to Sophie, some of whom had gone the whole hog and taken hormones and even had surgery to make themselves female, and others- like Sophie herself and one of the brides- who were completely ‘unchanged’. In this room, unlike a lot of the rest of the world, there was no taboo concerning Sophie being who she wanted to be. She just wished she knew who it was she wanted to be…
Sophie let out a long sigh as she headed to the nearby toilets to relieve herself, only to run into an unexpected pair of faces when she exited the cubicle.
“Thought I recognised you slipping off!” Amy giggled. “I won’t hug, I’ll let you wash your hands first- no offence, hehe!”
“No offence taken!” Sophie giggled as she washed her hands with the floral-scented hand soap, before examining her reflection in the mirror.
“’Long-lasting make-up’ my arse, eh?” Hayley asked as she stood next to Sophie and touched up her lipstick.
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Sophie sighed, repairing her own mascara with expert brush strokes before touching up her own lipstick. “Have you checked into our room yet?”
“I’m sorting it after the reception,” Amy yelled from her cubicle. “Though I hope you’re not planning on ducking out early, Miss Connolly!”
“Oh- HELL no!” Sophie giggled. “Gonna take this opportunity to have as much fun as I can!” Because I don’t know when I’ll get another chance… Sophie thought to herself.
With her make-up repaired, Sophie headed back out into the hustle and bustle of the reception, a wide, confident grin on her face as her presence earned nothing but smiles from the other people she encountered- virtually all of whom were her friends. As she coolly strode around the room on her delicate heels, Sophie felt completely at ease with her identity, both how she felt inside and how she was being seen by her friends. Sophie couldn’t help but think about how much she’d miss all of the friends she’d made- not just Amy and Hayley, but all of them- once she went back to being ‘James’. It wasn’t long before Sophie found herself being drawn into one of the many conversations filling the room.
“…FINALLY done with it,” the unmistakable feminine voice of Nikki Phillips-Thomas said with a heavy sigh. “Those are eight months I do NOT want to repeat.”
“Sure, at least you can put it behind you now,” Anna-Jade shrugged.
“Yeah, I wish I could,” Nikki moaned. “I was hoping to get some extra work at Krystie & Zoe’s school- not going to happen now, what with criminal records and ‘working with children’ not being the best mix… Oh, hey Sophie! Didn’t see you there, hehe!”
“Hey girls- sorry, hey girlIES!” Sophie giggled.
“Heh, I don’t know how much fucking longer I’m gonna get away with being called ‘girl’,” Anna-Jade snorted. “Less than a year to the big three-oh…”
“Ah, you’ll always be one of the GIRLS,” Nikki teased. “Even if you will need to look for another job yourself…” Sophie bit her lip as she sensed another opportunity to gather information for her expose- even if it was on a topic she had covered many times during her talks with her colleagues.
“It’s hard to believe Masson can get away with that,” Sophie said. “Being forced by the EU not to discriminate against gender identity but still getting away with discriminating against age.”
“He’s got lawyers shooting out of his fucking arse,” Anna-Jade snorted. “He’ll exploit any loophole he thinks he can fucking well get away with. The only reason he couldn’t get away with girls like us is because of the stink that the first two transgendered stewardesses kicked up.”
“I was reading up about it a while ago,” Nikki interjected. “No other airline has a Trump-like ‘transgender ban’ either. The only reason Soixante-Trois is known as ‘the transgender airline’ is because of the media fuss surrounding those first two flight attendants."
"And 'cause he was launching grey route at the same time," Anna-Jade said. "Which pretty much only goes to mainly Muslim countries, where girls like us... Yeah."
"I've never met the man," Nikki sighed, "but I really get the impression that he only tolerates 'girls like us' because he reckons his profit margins would fall if he didn't.
“Is that your opinion as an ‘interested outsider’?” Sophie asked, sensing another interview opportunity.
“…Maybe,” Nikki giggled. “God, you know, I’ve never even flown with your airline? Probably won’t this year as the only place I’m planning to go is America and you guys don’t go transatlantic.”
“Yet,” Anna-Jade said with a smug grin. “You’re not wrong though, if Masson had hired those two stewardesses and not made a fuss about it things would be very different. I only found out about the airline thanks to the media interest, and Masson changing the uniform code to try to discourage transgendered applicants only ended up discouraging genetic girls. Serves the twat right if you ask me.”
“Are- are those two original stewardesses still working for the airline?” Sophie asked, her interest suddenly piquing.
“One of them left shortly after I started, about four years ago, ”Anna-Jade replied. “The other one left in 2015. Actually flew a few flights with her. Why do you want to know?”
“Oh- just interested,” Sophie nonchalantly shrugged. “Kinda, you know, want to know what I’m letting myself in for, heh.”
“Even though you’ve been working there for six months?” Nikki asked with a giggle. “Sounds like you should already know, hehe!”
“…It never hurts to know more than you’re supposed to know,” Sophie retorted, making her friends giggle. “Especially about the people responsible for your livelihood!”
“Oh- I agree there,” Anna-Jade chuckled. “I know I’d much rather rely on Josh Benedict than on Antoine fucking Masson though, that’s for sure! Is he here today? Don’t think I’ve seen him…”
“Mr. B junior is,” Nikki replied with a smirk. “Don’t tell him I called him that!” Sophie chuckled as Nikki and Anna-Jade continued their chat, though her attention was firmly on the story of the two original transgendered stewardesses. She’d always assumed that there had to have been a ‘first’ transgendered stewardess working at the airline, but Anna-Jade’s tale made it seem more ‘real’, and Sophie knew that an interview with either of the two women would be a perfect addition to her expose.
Secretly, though, Sophie was just happy that she had an excuse to stay as ‘Sophie’ for the next few months…
Afternoon quickly turned into evening, and evening quickly turned into night, and the party showed no sign of subsiding. Despite Sophie’s heels causing her feet to grow increasingly tired and painful, she kept dancing late into the night, mostly with her friends in a group, but as the music slowed, Sophie found herself in the unexpected situation of dancing with Natalie’s brother- the first time Sophie had ever danced with a man, and it was easy to tell that this was the case from the uncoordinated nature of the brown-haired woman’s dancing.
“Careful!” Greg chuckled as he placed his hands on Sophie’s hip to steady her.
“Sorry, sorry!” Sophie said, grimacing as she barely avoided treading on her dance partner’s toe. “I’ve just- I’m, umm, not used to dancing in heels… or with a man, heh.”
“It’s okay,” Greg said softly, placing Sophie’s hand on his shoulder. “Just let me lead, follow my- well, lead, I guess, heh. And try to relax.”
“I’ll try,” Sophie chuckled as she tried to ease the tension in her body and enjoy the experience, gradually getting into the swing of things as the 30 year old man gently steered her around the dancefloor.
“How long have you known my sib?” Greg asked, momentarily breaking Sophie’s concentration.
“Hmm?” the brown-haired woman asked. “Sorry, what?”
“How long have you known my sib?” Greg asked. “I’m guessing you met through work, right?”
“S- sib?” Sophie asked, her face scrunching up in confusion.
“As in ‘sibling’?” Greg clarified. “Can’t really say ‘brother’ or ‘sister’ as neither’s all that, you know, accurate. You know my sib through work, right?”
“Umm, yeah,” Sophie replied. “Well, up until she quit, anyway. No offence, but- umm, it’s Greg, isn’t it?”
“Yeah,” the older man replied. “What’s up that I might take offence at?”
“Well- I’m sure you’ve guessed that I’m transgendered, right?” Sophie asked.
“I didn’t want to make assumptions, just because you work for the airline,” Greg replied.
“Well- and again, no offence…” Sophie said hesitantly. “You don’t- you don’t strike me as, you know… The ‘accepting’ type.”
“Oh- thanks, really, thanks,” Greg snorted.
“Sorry…” Sophie mumbled. “Bu it- it must’ve come as a surprise, you know? When Natalie- for the first time, I mean…”
“Maybe at first,” Greg replied as the song ended and he and Sophie headed to one of the tables lining the room. “I’ve had time to get used to it. It’s just part of who my sib is, it’s not ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Well, okay, to Nat, it’s ‘right’, but- you know, who am I to judge? They’re still my younger sibling, I’ll still take the piss out of them but I won’t stop loving them.”
“He’s not wrong about the piss-taking part,” Ellen interjected from the next table.
“…Damn right I’m not, button!” Greg teased, making his younger sister roll her eyes. “Now if you don’t mind, private conversation? I’m trying to prove to Sophie here how tolerant and accepting I am.”
“Of everyone except younger sisters,” Ellen said with a snort of laughter. “You do know Sophie’s not interested in men, right?”
“Doesn’t mean we can’t talk, right?” Greg shrugged.
“And you do know about her deep, dark secret, I assume?” Ellen asked, making Sophie cringe- she’d have expected her, of all people, to be more sensitive about things like that- and Sophie wasn’t the only person who thought so.
“Really?” Greg asked. “Here, of all place?”
“Her ‘deep dark secret’,” Ellen giggled, “that she’s a United fan!”
“Urgh,” Greg sneered, making a show of moving his drink away from Sophie as she rolled her eyes and Ellen laughed loudly. “No offence, but- urgh.”
“Our time will come again,” Sophie sighed, before giggling as she rose from her table to make way for Natalie, Greg and Ellen’s mother.
“I Hope you weren’t teasing that poor girl too much!” Mrs. Briggs admonished her children, who both giggled in response.
“United fan,” Ellen said, giggling even louder as her mother rolled her eyes.
“Just ignore them, love,” Mrs. Briggs said to Sophie, who smiled and nodded her head. “United fan or not, I’m glad my Natalie’s got such good friends around her down in London.”
“Thanks,” Sophie said with a soft chuckle. “City fan or not, I’m glad she’s my friend too.” Sophie smiled as she left the Briggs family to their discussion, but her smile soon faded as she was reminded of one thing- while Natalie’s family may not have had a problem with her living the life she wanted to live, there was no guarantee that Sophie’s would be so accepting- and it had suddenly turned into a very big ‘if’. Sophie’s friends may have been like family, but her family WAS family, and in Sophie’s mind, they were irreplaceable. If she had to choose between her life as Sophie and her life with her family, she wasn’t sure that she could choose the former over the latter.
Sophie wasn’t sure exactly when she’d got to bed following the party, but the first thing she was aware of on the Sunday morning was of a throbbing pain in her head, the fact that she was still wearing the dress she wore to the wedding, and that she was in a small double bed, sandwiched between her two flatmates.
“Amy!” Sophie whispered, nudging the ginger woman awake.
“Mmph,” Amy- who was clearly as hungover as Sophie, if not more so- grunted in response. “Leave me alone, Leanne...”
“…My name’s Sophie,” the brown-haired woman replied with a sigh. “And god knows what time it is right now but shuffle over, I need a piss.”
“Very elegant, very ladylike,” Amy moaned, sliding out of bed to reveal that she too was wearing the dress she wore to the wedding. As she let Sophie out of bed, however, her eyes bulged at an unexpected sight. “Umm, Soph…”
“What?” Sophie asked, before grimacing as she realised that she was sporting a very unsightly bulge in the front of her dress. “…Oh. Umm…”
“Relax!” Amy giggled. “Who HASN’T been there? Probably doesn’t help that you slept in such a tight dress, heh!”
“Though I did thankfully remember to remove my cache sex,” Sophie chuckled. “THAT would’ve hurt…”
“Ugh, tell me about it!” Amy chuckled. “Reminds me, I need to take my ‘chemical cache sex’, hehe!” Sophie smiled as the ginger woman took two vials of pills out of her handbag and headed into the hotel room’s en-suite bathroom. “Don’t worry, I’ll only be a few seconds, give you enough time to get into ‘position’ for your pee, hehe!”
“Thanks,” Sophie said as she examined herself in her mirror and sighed at her reflection. Every part of her body screamed 'attractive young woman' apart from the one part of her body that stood out the most, almost like it was trying to scream to the world 'this woman is not who she seems to be'... And Sophie was forced to admit to herself that she wasn't who she seemed to be- not to the passengers she dealt with on a daily basis, not to her managers, not even to her friends. Amy may have shrugged off the sight, but might not so easily shrug off the fact that 'Sophie' had been lying to her face for the previous six months. Sophie tried to comfort herself by reminding herself that ‘Sophie’ was only a temporary arrangement, that she was as much ‘James’ as she was ‘Sophie’ and that ‘James’ didn’t want anything happening to ‘his’ body, but Sophie’s self-consciousness only faded once the front of her dress was again smooth.
“There, much better!” Amy giggled as she emerged from the en-suite. “Ah, I see it’s much better for you too, hehe!”
“Yep!” Sophie said with a forced giggle- it was certainly better for ‘Sophie’, she thought to herself as she relieved herself.
“It’d be better if you kept quiet,” Hayley moaned as she slowly woke from her slumber. “Ugh, what time is it, anyway?”
“…Almost 10 o’clock!” Amy chuckled. “God… Good job we’re not at work today, hehe!”
“Us and the half of the company who are here today,” Hayley said with a snort of laughter. “Dunno if we’ve, you know, ‘marked’ ourselves or something.”
“You didn’t drink THAT much, did you?” Amy teased, giggling as Hayley replied by sticking her tongue out at her.
“No,” Hayley moaned, swinging her long legs out of bed to reveal that she, like Amy and Sophie, also slept in her dress. “Because, you know, Natalie and Zoe aren’t exactly popular with management, and we’re taking time off to go to their wedding…”
“It’s our time off,” Amy shrugged as she casually stepped out of her dress and sat down in front of the room’s mirror with her make-up bag. “We can do with it what we want.”
“Whoa, like stripping?” Sophie asked as she emerged from the en-suite, shielding her eyes from the sight of Amy’s underwear-clad body.
“Oh- stop being such a prude,” Amy snorted, before jumping to her feet and playfully wiggling her thong-covered backside at Sophie. “We’re all girls, right?”
“…Damn right we are!” Sophie giggled, before taking a deep breath and removing her own dress, posing in just her bra and panties with her hands on her hips.
“Sexy lady!” Amy giggled.
“Even if my bra is ‘surplus to requirements’?” Sophie asked as she cupped the padding within her bra.
“Still sexy,” Amy shrugged. “Not like mine’s any more ‘needed’ even after 12 months on hormones, heh. Being petite has its downsides too…”
“A cups can still be sexy,” Hayley suggested, before giggling and removing her dress. “MINUS A cups, on the other hand…”
“You’ll both be flooded with oestrogen before long,” Amy said with a confident smile. “Team ASH, HRT… FTW, hehe!”
“ASHHRTFTW!” Sophie and Hayley cheered simultaneously, even as Sophie felt herself internally cringe at having to lie to her two friends.
A short while later, with her body covered in a clingy top, a short black denim skirt and a pair of warm ribbed tights- a far cry from the designer dress she’d worn the previous day- Sophie and her two flatmates headed down to the reception area of the hotel, where they were surprised to discover a scrum of paparazzi waiting.
“Guess they must have found out some Angels were here,” Hayley shrugged.
“Guess again,” Rachel said, giggling as her and her fiancé’s sudden appearance startled the trio. “No, it turns out our Miss Briggs- sorry, our Mrs. Renou-Briggs seems to have caused a bit of a stir with the press.”
“Really?” Amy asked. “They’re here for Nat?”
“Yep,” Rachel said smugly. “She’s like this sort-of ‘liberal hero’, being gender fluid and, well, you heard the way she told Alana to stick her job, right?”
“Guessing it’s just reporters from the Mirror and the Independent, then?” Sophie asked.
“Oh for sure,” Danny chuckled. “The Mail and the Sun have already been told, and I quote, to ‘fuck off and don’t come back’.”
“A smart journalist, though, would try to get an exclusive interview with the new bride,” Rachel said with a knowing smirk that Sophie immediately picked up on.
“Maybe they already have?” Sophie replied with a smirk of her own. Following her departure from the airline, Sophie had made sure to engage Natalie in conversation every chance she got- though it wasn’t just her work Sophie discussed with Natalie, but her gender identity as well.
“Ah, we love our bigendered commie,” Amy said with a derisive snort of laughter. “Kinda wanted to say goodbye to them before we left, though I don’t fancy getting into the middle of that!”
“Don’t blame you,” Rachel chuckled. “I’ll pass on your love to them. We’re heading back to London now, want to get the pub open for tonight. Soph, you want a lift? Would take all of you, but, you know, kinda cramped in the car…”
“Wish I had a cousin who drove me everywhere,” Amy said with a mock pout.
“And had such good dress sense!” Hayley said, making Rachel giggle as she did a twirl in her short, tight black skirt.
“Ah,” the blonde woman chuckled. “Just ‘cause I’m the wrong side of thirty, doesn’t mean I can’t be fashionable, right?”
“Damn right!” Hayley chuckled. “Even if we had to persuade your cousin to get her legs out this morning!”
“Yep!” Amy laughed as she gestured toward hers and Hayley’s short skirts. “Saw her with a pair of jeans in her hands and, well, we needed to take action, hehe!”
“…I didn’t take much persuading,” Sophie said with a shy giggle as she did a playful twirl followed by a curtsey. “…And I’m okay for a lift, we came up together on the train, we can go back the same way.”
“ASHFTW!” Amy and Hayley simultaneously cheered, making Sophie cringe and Rachel and Danny giggle.
“Well- you three have fun,” Rachel chuckled.
“Think we can guarantee that’s gonna happen,” Danny said with a loud laugh as Sophie and her flatmates handed their room keys back and headed toward their waiting taxi with wide grins on their faces.
----------
“Thanks for the lift home,” Paige said as she slide onto the back seat of the modern car and linked fingers with her fiancée.
“Yeah, we really didn’t want to face another extra-long train ride,” Jessica concurred.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sarah replied. “We’re glad of the company, heh!”
“Really?” Paige asked. “I’d have thought you two’d wanna be all alone…”
“That’s why I’m glad of the company,” Sarah giggled. “Puts Nikki on her best behaviour and means no distractions from the road!”
“Aww,” Nikki said with a deep mock pout. “Aren’t I distracting enough just being sat next to you?”
“Course you are babe,” Sarah replied, making the couple of the back seat sigh happily as she leaned across to give Nikki a long, gentle kiss.
“Ah… Our turn next!” Paige sighed happily.
“Our turn next on this side of the Atlantic, anyway!” Jessica reminded her fiancée.
“Ah, of course!” Paige giggled. “Kinda surprised Alexa and Jenny weren’t here this weekend.”
“You can tell they weren’t by the fact that we’re not in alcohol-induced comas,” Sarah said, earning laughs from the other people in the car. “Think they’re too busy with uni. And they’re coming over next month anyway.”
“SO looking forward to that,” Jessica sighed happily. “Their wedding will be just gorgeous too, you know it will.”
“Thanks at least partly to who’s making the dresses!” Nikki teased her blushing wife.
“Thanks for doing ours as well,” Jessica said with a grin. “I can’t imagine how busy you must be with uni as well, but- thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” Sarah said with a grin. “Just sad I didn’t have enough time to do Nat and Zoe’s, but I’ve only got so much time to work on other projects, you know?”
“And she’s been putting a LOT of effort into all four dresses,” Nikki interjected. “Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.”
“Just hope I’m good to fly by their wedding,” Paige sighed. “SRS at the end of April…”
“You SHOULD be okay,” Nikki replied. “Stitches will be out by then, you might want an extra cushion for take-off and landing though.”
“It’s more the fact that I’ll be taking three months’ sick leave to recover and jetting off to America in the middle of it,” Paige said. “Got no problem taking the leave as I’m entitled to it, I just don’t want to fly back and end up with Fat Tony’s boot lodged up my arse.”
“Fat Tony’s shining up his boot anyway because of our wedding,” Jessica sighed. “You saw the press interest for Zatalie, we’re expecting something similar.”
“Normally I couldn’t be happier about that,” Paige said. “But like I said, not if it means a face to face with Booty McBootface.”
“I can see how that wouldn’t be appealing,” Nikki said with a grimace. “Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to have the boss I’ve got.”
“He’s not got a private jet that he needs two stewardesses for, has he?” Paige asked, smirking as Nikki giggled in response.
“’Fraid not,” the twenty year old woman replied. “He’s a millionaire, not a billionaire. He might be looking to expand his business portfolio soon, though given how long it took to get the café off the ground…”
“Yeah, I think I’ve had enough ‘serving’ for one lifetime anyway,” Jessica sighed. “Couldn’t persuade him to open up an American office, could I? In, say, a city a short drive from DC…?”
“No harm in asking,” Nikki replied with a giggle. “Though I thought Fat Tony was looking at expanding to America as well?”
“That’s still some way off,” Jessica replied. “He was originally going to expand grey route to include places like Morocco, Tunisia and Egypt, but as they’re mainly Muslim countries-“
“Say no more,” Nikki sighed. “Was talking to Anna-Jade about that last night. Real question is whether or not the land of Fat Donald would be any more tolerant of girls like us?”
“Hey!” Jessica protested. “Rip on Fat Donald all you want but leave the land out of it. He’ll be gone in a few years but America- the America I love- isn’t going anywhere.”
“…My apologies,” Nikki conceded. “Though you’re staying quiet on this whole topic, Paige?”
“I got drunk enough last night,” the Scottish girl replied, filling the car with laughter as it headed south toward London.
----------
“Ugh, SO good to be back home,” Sophie said with a heavy sigh as she and her flatmates wheeled their suitcases off of the train and onto the platform at Euston station.
“Stop being such a north-phobe,” Hayley teased with a giggle. “Though I am looking forward to sleeping in my own bed, heh. Even if we do have to be up at stupid o’clock tomorrow…”
“Aww,” Amy said with a mock pout. “You didn’t like snuggling up next to us last night?”
“I prefer snuggling up next to fit young men,” Hayley replied. “And no offence, Sophie, but you do NOT fit that bill!”
“No offence taken!” Sophie giggled, marvelling at how, once again, she genuinely didn’t take offence at the affront to her masculinity. “And I’m looking forward to my own bed too, heh. Where I’m hopefully NOT getting squished between you two!”
“Aww,” Amy pouted again. “You didn’t like having someone to cuddle?” Sophie giggled and let out a loud shriek as Amy suddenly gave her a tight hug.
“There’s a difference between a hug and- well, that!” Sophie replied, smirking as Amy giggled loudly.
“Though I’m not ‘too masculine’ for you, I trust?” Amy asked.
“You’re not masculine at all!” Sophie replied, laughing along with her flatmates as they climbed into a waiting taxi. “Neither of you are. ASHFTW!”
“ASHFTW!” Amy and Hayley cheered excitedly.
As the three girls would be working the following day, they all opted to get an early night, which Sophie in particular needed after the excitement of the weekend. As she climbed into her warm bed, with her slender body covered in a comfortable cotton vest and a matching pair of shorts, Sophie wondered how Natalie was spending her first full day of married life- and whether she was celebrating it as a bride, a groom, or both…
“Do you, Sophie Connelly,” the elderly priest asked, “take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I do,” Sophie replied, smiling as she felt the skirts of her voluminous white dress rustle around her legs.
“And do you, James Connolly,” the priest asked, “take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
“I do,” James replied as he stared deep into his bride’s eyes…
“Ugh,” Sophie grunted as she awoke with a sudden jerk. “Why- why am I dreaming about THAT?” As Sophie tried to get comfortable in her bed, she found that that wasn’t the only question on her mind. The most significant question was whether the dream was more about being a bride or a groom- but Sophie also tried futilely to recall the face of the woman she was ‘marrying’…
Sophie put all thoughts of the dream behind her as she got out of bed and got ready for the day, and before too long, she was stood in the employee area of Heathrow Airport, feeling the usual pull of her tight skirt on her legs and the strain on her ankles from her high-heeled shoes as she walked to the plane where she’d be working all day. Sophie had a lot to occupy her mind as she flew toward Geneva- the near-constant demands of the passengers, the latest part of her expose that needed writing up, the possibility of tracking down the original transgendered stewardesses and, most importantly, how she would explain to Rachel that she needed extra time to work on her expose. And yet, throughout the day, memories of the wedding dress came flooding back to Sophie- along with the occasional thought that she’d never previously enjoyed wearing her uniform as much as she did on that particular flight…
----------
“Well- here we go again,” Jessica giggled as she fastened the gold buttons of her blazer and balanced her blue pillbox hat on her head.
“I like to think of it as another bill paid,” Paige replied. “Though it is weird to be, you know, ‘back to normal’ after the weekend.”
“Yeah, god,” Jessica said with a tired chuckle. “Do you remember when this was an adventure, an opportunity to be the girls we always wanted to be?”
“Isn’t it still that way?” Paige asked.
“You tell me, Miss ‘SRS in 2 months’,” Jessica retorted, making her fiancée smirk. “I mean it’s, like, become everyday, you know?”
“Don’t tell me you’re getting bored with being a girl?” Paige teased.
“Bored? Never,” Jessica replied with a confident smirk. ”But, you know, it’s not something I need to aspire to anymore. It’s what I am, what I unquestionably am. I guess the wedding just drove that home for me, seeing Natalie in her dress…”
“I kinda get what you mean,” Paige said. “And god knows this isn’t the adventure it used to be.” Jessica smiled as Paige gestured to her tight, form-flattering uniform. “Guess I’ll just have to look forward to having the operation, to being a bride, and spending the rest of my life with the most gorgeous woman in the world, eh?”
“I know that works for me,” Jessica replied, checking that she and her fiancée were alone before giving the Scottish woman a gentle, loving kiss. “Have fun in Brussels. Reckon I’m gonna need a long, hot bath after Paris today…”
“Take care,” Paige whispered as she and Jessica left the locker room, only to be immediately approached by their manager.
“You two,” Alana said stoically. “Need a word before your flights.” Jessica and Paige both quietly gulped as they followed their manager to her office, where the older woman sat down behind her desk and let out a tired sigh.
“What- what’s up?” Jessica asked nervously.
“This won’t take long,” Alana said. “You’re not in any trouble. Yet. I want to make sure it stays that way, both for you and for the company. I’ve seen some of the photos from Natalie’s wedding.”
“It was a beautiful day,” Paige interjected, biting her lip as her manager frowned at the interruption.
“I’m sure it was,” Alana said. “And I’m sure yours will be as well. But we need to establish a few ground rules first, especially following what happened when the two of you got engaged. That generated a lot of publicity for the company, especially when the video went viral.”
“A lot of GOOD publicity,” Jessica reminded her manager.
“And a large chunk of bad publicity as well,” Alana retorted. “The airline had to do a lot of damage limitation following your engagement. Maybe you’ve forgotten that we also operate grey route, where your little ‘stunt’ would see you both get imprisoned or worse. And just because we don’t fly black route from London doesn’t mean it doesn’t still exist. Monsieur Masson had to personally intervene to keep the Paris to Moscow, St Petersburg and Sochi routes in place as that country also has laws that your little stunt would have broken.”
“Laws that are wrong,” Paige said defiantly.
“Not in Russia, they’re not,” Alana retorted. “Girls… The company would never dream of preventing you from getting married. Your personal lives are your own. But by dragging the company into it, you cause a lot of headaches for management. It’s no small miracle that you kept your promotion, and if it wasn’t for that stunt you pulled by sneaking through the employee area, you’d now be a supervisor too, Paige.”
“So what are you saying?” Paige asked, growing increasingly annoyed with her manager’s attitude.
“When you get married,” Alana said, “you must not reference the company in any way, shape or form during the wedding. That goes for you, your family and your guests. Understand?”
“Aye,” Paige replied stoically, before biting her lip with irritation.
“Like I said, you two aren’t in trouble NOW,” Alana clarified. “I just- I just felt I should lay down a few ground rules, stop any problems before they start.”
“Oh- sure, sure,” Jessica said, biting her lip and nodding in agreement.
“Just one thing,” Paige said, a smug grin creeping across her face. “You’re gonna have a hell of a time if Ellen and Amelie tie the knot.” Paige allowed herself an internal smile as her manager hung her head and sighed.
“One problem at a time,” Alana sighed. “Go on, don’t let me keep you from your flights.” Jessica and Paige both waved goodbye to their manager as they left the office, but once they were back in the corridor, they let out simultaneous heavy sighs.
“…We weren’t going to have a flight attendant ‘theme’ for the wedding anyway,” Jessica groaned.
“We WEREN’T,” Paige said, exchanging a sly grin with her fiancée, who giggled and sighed.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Jessica said. “Hell, I’m thinking it too. I’m also thinking ‘would it be worth it’?”
“Aye, that is the question,” Paige replied. “But you heard what she said- if Emperor Putin decrees something to be right, it must be right…”
“So glad I don’t do black route anymore,” Jessica sighed. “We- we’ll talk about this when we get home, Paige. And I DO want to talk about this as I assure you I’m just as pissed as you are.”
“Aye,” Paige sighed. “See you later, Jess.”
“See you later,” Jessica replied. “Oh, and before I go, on the topic of pissed, but in the British sense this time…”
“…Yes?” Paige asked.
“We might need to add Comrade Putin to the same category as your favourite orange-skinned president!” Jessica giggled.
“Like he isn’t already,” Paige retorted. “See you at home!” The two lovers both let out secret giggles as they made their way to their separate flights.
----------
“Honey, I’m home,” Amy said with a smirk as she walked through the front door of her flat and kicked off her heels, the noise of which roused Sophie from the nap she’d taken on the sofa. “That bad, eh? Always thought Switzerland was an easy one, myself.”
“Nah, today was okay,” Sophie mumbled as she rubbed her eyes. “It’s tomorrow, Paris that’s going to suck…”
“Ugh, Paris ALWAYS sucks,” Amy sighed as she sat down beside Sophie’s bare, immaculately pedicured feet. “I could tell you a few stories there, hehe!”
“You have,” Sophie reminded her flatmate, musing to herself that many of the stories may end up in print within the following few months.
“Trust me, there are plenty more where that came from!” Amy laughed, before smirking as Hayley emerged from her bedroom. “Ah, good EVENING, sunshine! Catching up on some sleep as well?”
“Something like that,” Hayley replied. “Guess it’s just weird getting back to reality… I was having a great dream too before you woke me up!”
“Yeah, go on, blame the ginge for everything,” Amy giggled. “What were you dreaming about?”
“Ugh…” Hayley moaned as she sat down opposite Amy and Sophie with her sheet still wrapped around her slender body. “This- this is gonna sound stupid.”
“No, go on,” Amy urged.
“I…” Hayley said with a grimace. “Was dreaming about… My wedding. Yeah, go on, laugh…”
“Why would I laugh about that?” Amy asked with a genuine smile on her face. “Doubt there’s a girl alive who wasn’t dreamt about that.”
“And if we laughed at you,” Sophie said softly, “you’d- you’d kinda have to laugh at me as well.”
“Ooh, have I gatecrashed TWO weddings?” Amy teased.
“It was this morning I dreamed about it,” Sophie sighed as she sat up. “Probably just, you know, remembering the weekend…”
“I have a different theory,” Amy said with a smug grin. “I think you were dreaming about how amazing it’d be to be a beautiful, blushing bride!” Sophie blushed as her friend teased her, which only increased Amy’s mirth, even though Sophie was wondering how her friend would react if she knew that she was dreaming about being a groom as well…
“God knows it’s not the first time I had that dream!” Hayley giggled. “Though before that, it was usually dreaming about being a schoolgirl, heh. Couldn't count the number of times I fantasised about wearing my sister's uniform.”
“Ugh, yep!” Amy sighed. “Think that was my first, you know, ‘dream’ too… Pretty much all the girls at my school wore skirts and tights every day, I was SO jealous all the way through school. Then I went to college, where they wore even shorter skirts…”
“Same here,” Hayley sighed. “Our uniform was a navy blue skirt and black tights… My first wage I got from here, I- I actually bought a skirt identical to the one we- well, THEY wore at school, heh.”
“Totally did the same,” Amy said, before turning to Sophie, who bit her lip and tried not to giggle.
“…I wear a uniform with a skirt every single day,” Sophie said. “Don’t really need to pretend I’m wearing another one!”
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Amy shrugged. “But we are SO having a school uniform party next chance we get!”
“Really?” Sophie asked incredulously, before forcing a smirk onto her face. “And not a ‘wedding dress’ party?”
“Oh, we’ll have one of those as well,” Amy said with a confident grin. “The question is whether it’ll be called ‘Amy’s wedding’, ‘Sophie’s wedding’ or ‘Hayley’s wedding’, hehe!”
“Hopefully the third one!” Hayley laughed. “Ahh… I already know where I’d want my wedding to be. The Nottingham Council House, in the centre of the city, on a hot July day. My dress would be strapless, by bridesmaids would wear pink, and my bouquet would be pink and white roses.”
“You put a lot of thought into it, then?” Sophie asked.
“And you haven’t?” Hayley retorted. “What were you dreaming about less than 24 hours ago?”
“Okay, okay,” Sophie giggled, trying to remember the details of her dream. “Mine would be in a church, my- my old church from home. My dress would be like Kate Middleton’s, long sleeves, a long, flowing train… Probably be asking too much to ask my dad to give me away though, heh.”
“Remember who you’re talking to?” Hayley asked. “Don’t even know where my dad is…”
“Ah- yeah…” Amy grimaced. “Guess I’m lucky that way, my dad’s already said he’d love to be able to give me away, Paige’s dad has said the same too, and you saw Natalie’s dad at the weekend… Some families really need to learn how to treat their daughters better.” Or at all, Sophie thought to herself.
“I’ve got to admit,” Sophie said softly, “growing up, I- I never expected to have a conversation like this with friends like you, heh.”
“Neither did I,” Hayley chuckled. “But I’m so, SO glad I am. You two are, like, the best friends I’ve ever had.”
“Aww,” Amy cooed. “Does that mean we’re first in line to be bridesmaids, then?”
“Hell yeah you are!” Hayley cheered. “As long as I get to be bridesmaid for both of you?”
“Well, duh!” Amy giggled, prompting a hug between the two young women, which only broke when they looked down at their third flatmate.
“…How about a pact,” Sophie suggested. “Whichever one of us gets married first gets to have the other two as their bridesmaids?”
“Oh, you are ON!” Amy giggled.
“Ditto!” Hayley squeaked excitedly. “And I KNOW you two will look GORGEOUS in pink, hehe!”
“ASHFTW?” Amy asked.
“ASHFTW!” Hayley and Sophie cheered, even as Sophie wondered whether nor she’d be able to uphold her part of the ‘pact’ she’d proposed. By the time either Amy or Hayley got married, ‘Sophie’ would almost certainly be ‘James’ again, and would have been ‘James’ for several months if not years. And yet, Sophie couldn’t hide her genuine excitement at the prospect of pulling on an elaborate pink bridesmaid’s dress…
The following morning, Sophie gripped the hand rests of her seat as she felt the familiar kick in the back of the plane reaching take-off thrust. Mere minutes later, the ‘fasten seatbelts’ light extinguished and Sophie and Hayley made their way to the kitchen at the rear of the plane to begin preparing refreshments for the passengers.
“You really wouldn’t think that London to Paris would be so bad,” Sophie sighed as she removed the restraints on her refreshments trolley. “With it being such a short flight, only eighty minutes.”
“I’m guessing they just see it as an excuse to ‘grab as much as they can when they can’,” Hayley sighed. “Given how expensive Soixante-Trois tickets can be, there are probably more millionaires out there than non-millionaires.”
“And all of them friends of Antoine Masson?” Sophie asked.
“Probably,” Hayley shrugged, before sighing as the call light illuminated. “Good luck.”
“Thanks,” Sophie sighed as she filled her trolley with hot water and wheeled it out into the cabin, quickly locating the thirsty passenger.
“Finally,” the middle-aged businessman grunted in his upper-class English accent.
“Good morning sir,” Sophie said in her sweetest, most feminine voice. “How can I help you today?”
“You can prevent me from dying of thirst,” the older businessman snorted. “Coffee. Black.”
“Coming right up, sir,” Sophie simpered, pouring the passenger’s drink and gently placing it onto his tray table.
“…Well?” The passenger asked with an angry, expectant look on his face.
“…Sir?” Sophie asked, confused by the man’s sudden confrontation.
“Aren’t you going to apologise?” The man asked, making Sophie’s anxiety levels rise. Those levels rose even further when all of the surrounding passengers- each one dressed as smartly as the thirsty man- nodded in agreement.
“I’m… Sorry?” Sophie replied, her confusion growing in line with her anxiety.
“Do you even know what you’re apologising for?” The businessman snorted.
“No… Sir?” Sophie replied, feeling her stomach start to churn as many of the other passengers began to giggle at her expense.
“I didn’t think so,” Sophie’s passenger scoffed. “That’s why you’re the one doing the serving and I’m the one being served. You can go now.”
“Thank you sir,” Sophie simpered, dragging her drinks trolley back toward the kitchen only to stop and turn around when she saw another call light illuminate, and another well-dressed passenger glare at her with disdainful eyes.
Almost twenty minutes later- with the plane ready to begin its descent- Sophie wheeled her drinks trolley back into the small kitchen area, where the nearly tearful girl was immediately greeted by a hug from her flatmate and her supervisor.
“Come on, sit down,” Hayley said softly to the brown-haired woman, whose face was noticeably paler than it had been at the start of the flight. “We heard some of the things that was said to you. How they keep getting away with it… Ugh. I dunno. I’ll do all the customer-facing stuff on the return flight.”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered, taking a deep breath to calm herself down.
“Just a few more minutes until we land,” Carly- the flight’s supervisor- said reassuringly as she sat down next to Sophie. “Then a nice long layover, okay?”
“O- okay,” Sophie sighed. “Sorry…”
“You’re the last person who should be apologising,” Carly assured the troubled woman. “Hayley’s right, they shouldn’t be able to get away with it, but we all know why they do. I could probably fill a book with some of the things I’ve heard, heh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie- who had already compiled several of the petite woman’s anecdotes for her expose- said with a genuine snort of laughter. As the plane descended toward the French capital, Sophie mused on how she’d almost be able to fill her book with her own experiences, let alone everyone else’s- and how that hammered home the fact that her task, and with it, her time as a woman, was almost at an end.
As Carly and Hayley promised, Sophie remained in the kitchen area for the duration of the flight back to London, and after bidding farewell to the passengers as they disembarked at Heathrow, she let out a sigh of relief before helping her colleagues to tidy the plane ahead of its next flight.
“Feeling better?” Carly asked.
“A little,” Sophie replied with a tired smile. “Kinda feel sorry for Hayley, making her do all the hard work this flight…”
“You had enough of it during the morning,” Carly said softly. “More than enough. But one thing I forgot to say was that you were very professional dealing with those customers this morning. Wouldn’t have thought you had as little customer service experience as you say you have.”
“Thanks,” Sophie mumbled, blushing from her supervisor’s praise.
“Have you thought about mentoring a trainee, next recruitment round?” Carly asked. “I’m surprised you didn’t go for it this time, actually.”
“Oh, I- I don’t feel, you know…” Sophie mumbled, mentally completing her sentence with the phrase ‘like a real stewardess’, before realising that to all intents and purposes, she WAS a real stewardess. She did the same work, served the same passengers, earned the same wages and most certainly wore the same uniform as the other women, she just had an extra ‘side job’. Anybody looking in from the outside would look at Sophie and not suspect that she was at all different from the other girls, and while Sophie took some pride in how well she’d managed to integrate herself into her ‘role’, she also worried that she was in danger of ‘going native’- both in the job and in her ‘borrowed’ gender.
However, when Sophie returned home (with Hayley in tow), she was no less eager to change into a comfortable, warm pair of ribbed tights, a pink hoodie and a slouchy denim skirt and curl up on the sofa with her friends, a glass of wine in her hand and a chick flick on the TV.
The following morning, Sophie was equally eager to get out of bed early- despite it being her rest day- and change into a pair of pink tights and a skin-tight black leotard, before covering up with a form-fitting sweater dress and a pair of knee-high boots with a chunky 3” heel. Sophie didn’t have to dress up so much to go to her dance class- she didn’t even have to go to the dance class all- but she knew that as Amy (who was also on a rest day) was going, she’d be expected to as well- and she found that the more she tried to enjoy the class, the more she did enjoy it. And she couldn’t help but take pride in the fact that she knew she looked good in her dress and her boots.
“Hey Sophie!” The familiar, famous face of Stephanie Abbott greeted Sophie as she and Amy stepped out of their taxi. “LOVE those boots, hehe! Think I’ve only three or four pairs myself, heh!”
“Thanks!” Sophie giggled, doing a quick twirl to show the famous singer her footwear while musing on how, despite training as a journalist, ‘James’ had never interacted with anyone nearly as famous as Stephanie, much less considered them a friend. This feeling only increased as Sophie stripped down to her dancewear and tied her growing hair back, before watching as the other women at the class- famous and non-famous alike- did the same thing without even blinking at Sophie’s presence among them.
The same lack of concern persisted throughout the dance class itself, where, despite being a beginner in a class full of experienced dancers, Sophie’s clumsy steps received only encouragement and praise. Sophie tried to tell herself that studying ballet was mostly to help her posture and her deportment, but she enjoyed it more and more with every class she took- and didn’t see any reason why she shouldn’t enjoy it.
When the class ended an hour later, Sophie found herself feeling genuinely disappointed that she’d have to wait until Sunday before she could dance again- though she was relieved to find that she wasn’t the only person who felt that way.
“Hey, ballerina buddy!” Amy giggled as she sat down next to Sophie. "You looked REALLY good out there, hehe!"
"I've had, like, a dozen lessons over the space of six months," Sophie retorted. "Can't be THAT good."
"Maybe you're just naturally graceful and girly, hehe!" Amy teased. "God knows I wish I could be. I am SO jealous of the girls in there who can dance en pointe, you know? Like proper ballerinas, on the tips of their toes?"
"It looks painful!" Sophie laughed.
"But SO girly and SO gorgeous," Amy sighed. "Still, if I work at it and believe I can do it, I can get there. Heh, the fact that you and me are sat here dressed like this is proof enough that if you want something enough, eventually you can get it, right?"
"Damn right!" Sophie giggled.
"And no matter how painful it is," Amy said, "it can't be any more painful than a Paris flight, right?"
"Ugh, you are SO right there," Sophie sighed as she remembered the hellish morning she'd had the previous day.
"You know," Amy sighed, "I actually keep a diary of some of the very worst experiences I've had? Like, if I want to write a book?" Where's THIS information been over the last six months? Sophie thought to herself.
"...Ditto," Sophie said with a quiet giggle.
"Think everyone does," Amy shrugged. "Heh, I still have my diaries from when I was, like, fourteen, writing down outfit ideas I want to wear..."
"All of which you've eventually worn, right?" Sophie asked.
"One of which I'm wearing now!" Amy giggled. "There was a ballet recital at my school when I was about fifteen. Barely made it through that one, heh!"
"I can imagine," Sophie said.
"Of course," Amy sighed, "I haven't written down an outfit idea in there in AGES. Now it's all morons and what I want to do to them. Usually involving their heads and a toilet."
"Ugh, yep," Sophie sighed.
"Some days I wonder why no one in the company's ever thought of forming a union," Amy mused. "Like, there is an international union, but Soixante-Trois aren't bound to it, and anyone attempting to form one would probably be fired instantly. Not to mention that Mrs. Renou-Briggs would be the ideal person to chair it, and she doesn't work for the airline anymore."
"C'est la vie," Sophie shrugged, before pulling her dress and her boots back on and marvelling at how comfortable they truly were.
"I guess," Amy shrugged. "I'm gonna see you later on, okay? Arranged to meet up with my parents in London today."
"Oh- okay then," Sophie said, surprised by Amy's sudden announcement.
"What, worried you'll be lonely today?" Amy teased. Sophie smirked as she looked around the changing room at the other similarly-dressed women- all of whom she could call her friend.
"...Not really," Sophie smirked. "You get going, I'll see you later."
"See you!" Amy giggled, giving Sophie a tight hug before heading out of the dance studio and toward the nearest tube station.
A few minutes later, Sophie walked through the front door of her flat, dropped her handbag on the coffee table and flopped heavily onto her sofa. With Amy visiting with her parents all day and Hayley on a flight, she had the whole flat to herself for the first time in what seemed like forever. If she wanted, she could strip off all of her female clothes, scrub her face clean of make-up and spend the whole morning and afternoon relaxing as 'James'... And yet, faced with that possibility, she found it was the last thing she wanted to do.
After mulling over her options, Sophie decided that her solitude gave her the opportunity to do the one thing she hadn't done in a while but felt that she needed to. She got her phone out of her handbag, cleared her throat and dialled the number that had almost slipped off the bottom of her 'most recent numbers' list.
"Hello?" The middle-aged woman on the other end of the line said, answering the phone after three rings.
"Hi mum," Sophie replied in 'James's masculine voice.
"Well, it's about time!" Mrs. Connolly said with a snort of laughter. "Was beginning to think you'd forgotten who your parents were!"
"Yeah... Sorry," James grimaced. "Been so busy with work..."
"Oh, I understand, it's okay," Mrs. Connolly said. "The important thing is that you HAVE called. So tell me everything that's happening!"
"Can do!" James chuckled as he began filling his mother in on his life- though taking great care not to mention anything about 'Sophie'.
Throughout the forty-minute call, however, James grew more and more uncomfortable. He kept his voice masculine enough to fool his mother, but every time he glanced down and got a glimpse of the short hem of his dress, or his knees encased in pink nylon, or the nail polish on his hands, he was reminded that he was leading a double life. Not only was he lying to his friends, he was lying to his family as well- and worst of all, lying to himself. He had enough material for his expose to be a success. He could leave the airline that day and go back to being 'James' full-time and not have to worry anymore about misleading the people he cared about. And yet, all 'James' could think about was what he would be giving up if he left the life he'd come to love...
Just over an hour after the end of the call, Sophie coolly strolled through the front door of the modern pub, smiling as she saw the person she wanted to speak to stood behind the bar.
"Hi Sophie!" Rachel said with a grin. "What can I get for you?"
"A private chat, please?" Sophie asked, biting her lip as Rachel nodded knowingly.
"Can do," Rachel said quietly. "Danny, hold down the fort?"
"Sure thing babe," Danny said, giving his fiancée a kiss as she and Sophie headed up the stairs to the pub's private living room.
"I had a feeling you'd be coming to see me sooner or later," Rachel said with a smile. "It HAS been six months..."
"Yep," Sophie replied nervously.
"...And?" Rachel asked. "Do you have a nice, thick pile of scandal ready for me?"
"I do," Sophie replied, before gulping. "But... I- I need more time to work on the expose."
"You've had six months, how much more time do you need?" Rachel asked.
"I've found things out," Sophie said. "Things I need to, umm, investigate further." Things like ballet, like being a schoolgirl, like being a bridesmaid- or even a bride, Sophie thought to herself.
"Okay..." Rachel said.
"Like- like the original two stewardesses," Sophie said. "The first two transgendered stewardesses the airline hired. They should have a few stories to tell."
"Most of which have already been told to the press," Rachel retorted. "They were a pretty big deal in France when they were first hired."
"Please," Sophie said desperately. "Just give- just give me another six months. Please. I want- I want this to be perfect, okay?"
"Well- okay, I guess," Rachel shrugged. "Another six months means another six months wearing make-up, nail polish and dresses, though."
"I can live with that," Sophie said.
"I'll want to look over what you've got so far, though," Rachel said, shrugging as she showed Sophie out. "You're sure about this?"
"I'll be fine," Sophie said with a smile, happy to have got the reprieve she wanted. "And as for this-" Sophie gestured to her feminine attire- "like I said, I can live with it."
Sophie just wished she knew whether or not she could live without it...
“Here she comes!” Hayley squeaked excitedly as the black London taxi pulled onto the street. Sophie fidgeted nervously in her loose dress, forcing a smile on her face as she prepared to hold up the banner that she and many of her friends had spent the previous evening making.
“Everybody ready?” One of the two identical ginger-haired Scottish women asked, smiling as everyone nodded affirmatively.
“On three,” the other ginger-haired Scotswoman said. “Ready? One, two, three…”
“Welcome home!” All the assembled women cheered, making Paige shriek as she gingerly stepped out of her taxi, accompanied by her grinning fiancée.
“Jeez-” Paige hissed, before giggling at the sight of all her friends. “Worth reminding you all that I’m not used to peeing out of it yet?”
“Well I’m not hugging her then,” One of Paige’s sisters snorted, folding her arms with a smug look on her face. “After you, Trish.”
“You first, Nina,” Trisha replied, before sharing a giggle with her twin sister as their younger sister rolled her eyes.
“It’s the one time I’m actually gonna welcome a hug from either of you, don’t waste it,” Paige said, before grinning as her sisters both gave her a gentle hug.
“Mum and dad would be down but they’re busy with the guest house,” Nina explained.
“Aye, it’s okay, I’ll be seeing them soon enough!” Paige giggled as her sisters and her fiancée helped her toward her front door.
“Speech!” Anna-Jade called out, making the raven-haired girl roll her mismatched eyes.
“We did come all this way,” Abbey said with a mock pout. “And we made you this lovely banner. Some of us even took leave…”
“Oh- fine,” Paige sighed. “Thank you all for coming, it really does mean a lot to me. I am going to be off my feet for a LONG while though, heh. But hopefully I’ll see you all soon.”
“And you’re all welcome to drop round anytime,” Jessica said with a warm smile. “From tomorrow onward, anyway. Someone kinda needs to get settled in first, hehe!”
“We’ll be round tomorrow, you can be sure of that!” Natalie giggled as the Scottish girl and her family disappeared inside her flat and the crowd started to dissipate.
Relieved to be away from the thronging crowd, Sophie let out a light sigh as she and her two flat mates headed back to their flat. Both Amy and Hayley had been excited by Paige’s return and what it represented, but Sophie herself felt conflicted. She was happy for Paige, of course- she understood how hard she’d worked to earn the right to have a body that matched how she felt inside. But while Sophie herself didn’t feel the same way, she had also worked hard in the same way over the previous nine months- and she too had the same option open to her that Paige and the rest of her friends had, whether she wanted it or not. And much to Sophie’s horror, over the previous three months, there had been times when she had found herself wondering about the life that was available to her.
In the weeks immediately following her decision to continue working on her expose, Sophie found herself relaxing more and more, both in her job with the airline and in her home life. Her social life also greatly expanded- she began regularly attending the group’s Sunday morning dance lessons and went on more nights out with Amy and Hayley, including a memorable night out in the middle of March where the trio had finished as runners-up in a karaoke competition at the pub Rachel owned. At times, Sophie even had to remind herself that the whole reason she was immersed in that life was to work on her expose- but there were other times when she was brought crashing down to reality and reminded that her life as ‘Sophie’ was only temporary, and all of those times coincided with when her friends talked about the more intimate nature of their transitions.
Every time the topic of conversation in the flat concerned hormones or surgery, Sophie found herself squirming and wishing that she could be transported to literally anywhere else in the world. When they were talking about make-up, work or clothes- even lingerie- Sophie had no problem relaxing and joining in the conversation, but the second Amy or Hayley brought up oestrogen, Sophie felt her chest tighten, and she knew precisely why- because it was proof that she was a fraud. Amy and Hayley- and Paige and Jessica, and Anna-Jade, and even Natalie, who like Sophie was ‘chemically male’- had lived their entire lives fantasising about being women. They had worked just as hard as Sophie had to achieve their goals and in many cases sacrificed a lot to fulfil their dreams. Sophie, meanwhile, had stumbled across this life almost by chance. To girls like Amy and Hayley, being a woman was almost literally a matter of life and death- to Sophie, it often felt like little more than a game, which filled her with a deep sense of shame- and made her wonder where the harm would be if she chose to transition herself as well.
Sophie frequently talked through her anxieties with her counsellor, whose advice- and staunch refusal to prescribe hormones- helped to soothe her mind. Nonetheless, the conversations with her flat mates continued to make her uneasy, especially as she knew that there would come a time when she’d never have those conversations again- and that thought horrified Sophie just as much as the thought of having the surgery that Paige had just had…
“…SO can’t wait for my SRS,” Amy gushed as Sophie half-listened.
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Hayley sighed. “Can’t believe it took me this long to get oestrogen, heh.”
“Well you’re on it now, and that’s what’s most important!” Amy giggled. “Did your counsellor give you any reason why they delayed so long, or was it- well, you know…?”
“My dad?” Hayley sighed. “That’s what she told me. When she saw that I’d made an effort to track her down but couldn’t, she knew there wasn’t any reason to keep me off them any longer.”
“Good,” Amy said. “How about you, Soph?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied, startled by the sudden mention of her name. “Umm, sorry?”
“The magic medicine?” Amy teased. “Any closer to the pills yourself?”
“Oh, umm- no, not really…” Sophie awkwardly replied. “I- I’m still, you know, deciding, heh.”
“I dunno,” Hayley giggled. “That dress you’re wearing looks like evidence that your decision’s been made, hehe!”
“And that lipstick!” Amy teased. “And those flats, and that handbag… trust me, Sophie, no BOY would ever have that good taste in fashion!”
“I dunno,” Sophie mumbled as her cheeks began to redden. “I had two really good teachers, though!”
“D’aww!” Amy and Hayley simultaneously cooed.
“Speaking of ‘teaching’,” the ginger-haired girl teased, “are you looking forward to tomorrow?”
“A little,” Sophie replied.
“I’m surprised you didn’t take the opportunity in February,” Hayley says. “I actually found it really rewarding to mentor Kiera.”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled nervously. “I just- I dunno. I was still learning the job myself, heh.” And was pretending to be a stewardess just as much as I’m pretending to be a woman, Sophie thought to herself.
“Umm, we started on the same day?” Hayley reminded the brown-haired woman. “And we’ve been on flights together, you’re just as good at the job as I am. I reckon your rookie will be lucky to have you as a mentor.”
“Aww, thanks!” Sophie replied, allowing herself a girlish giggle. “Hope my trainee agrees, heh.”
“I’m sure she will,” Any said with a grin. “And if she’s only just started to transition, she’ll have a hell of a role model there, too!”
“Yeah!” Sophie chuckled nervously, feeling her body start to tremble with nerves as the three women headed home.
----------
“Easy now,” Jessica said as she, Nina and Trisha slowly lowered Paige onto the air mattress. “Nice and slow…”
“I know how to sit down, thank you very much,” Paige snorted, before wincing as her sensitive new area pulled in an uncomfortable direction. “Ugh, I used to, anyway…”
“You heard everything the surgeon told you,” Jessica chastised her fiancée. “For the first few weeks you’re going to need to relearn how to do everything.”
“Especially peeing!” Trisha quipped, before biting her lip and smirking as Jessica and Paige both shot her an angry glare.
“But you’ve got three whole months off to do it in,” Jessica said. “By the time you go back to work you’ll have forgotten what it was like to NOT have lady parts.”
“God, I hope so,” Paige replied. “Just wish you were here the whole three months…”
“So do I,” Jessica sighed as she exchanged a gentle cuddle with her fiancée. “Gonna be even worse when it’s my turn in December, heh.”
“Ugh,” Paige spat. “No offence Jess, but I am so NOT looking forward to that. I mean, aye, I want you to, you know, be complete, but knowing that you’ll be at home in pain and I’ll be flying off to Germany or wherever with a bunch of stuck-up-“
“Yeah, I get it,” Jessica chuckled. “Still, I’m off work the rest of the week, and I am completely, 100% YOURS.”
“D’aww,” Nina cooed as she and her twin sat down on the sofa next to a large pile of packages, all of which had Paige’s name and address on them. “Looks like these are all yours too, hehe!”
“Good,” Paige giggled as she was handed the first of the packages.
“There’s a few here from America too,” Trisha said. “They from your family, Jess?”
“Or Alexa and Jenny,” Paige said. “God, I hope I’m well enough for their wedding…”
“It’s almost two months, you should be fine,” Jessica said. “And you will of course be well enough for the wedding in THREE months’ time, hehe!”
“If I have to drag myself up the aisle, I will,” Paige replied, making her sisters sigh happily as she exchanged a kiss with her fiancée. “Just about three months from now. Alana’s probably not going to be happy with me coming back from three months of sick leave only to immediately go on honeymoon, heh.”
“Her problem,” Jessica said, taking her phone out of her handbag and switching it on. “Should probably message everyone to let them know you’re home.”
“Tell them to bring more presents, too!” Paige giggled as she opened yet another ‘get well soon’ card. “And have you called mum and dad yet?”
“Aye, a few minutes ago, I told you!” Trisha replied.
“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Paige snorted, before frowning in confusion as a scowl spread across her fiancée’s face. “…Jess?”
“Ugh, voicemails from Alana,” Jessica sighed as she clicked the button to play the first message.
“Hi Jessica,” the two women’s manager’s refined voice came through the speakerphone. “We need supervisor cover to Paris today, give me a call back when you get this.”
“Umm… Aren’t you on leave today?” Nina asked the blonde American woman.
“On leave all week,” Jessica replied. “There should be cover in place though, she shouldn’t need to call me…” Jessica frowned in confusion as she played the second voicemail message.
“Jessica,” Alana said in a much sterner tone than her prior message, “call me when you get this message. We need to talk.”
“She’s fucking well got that right,” Paige sneered. “Gonna call her?”
“I probably should,” Jessica sighed, clicking the button on her phone to return her manager’s call (and switching off the speakerphone). After two rings, the phone was answered, and Jessica braced herself for what was coming next.
“Hello?” Alana asked.
“Hi Alana, it’s Jessica,” the blonde woman replied, trying her hardest to disguise her anxiety. “You wanted to talk to me?”
“Yes,” Alana replied. “We needed you to cover the Paris flight today, why weren’t you answering your phone?”
“Umm, because I’m on leave today,” Jessica replied. “I wasn’t down as cover, was I?”
“No, Hannah was,” Alana replied, making Jessica roll her eyes. “But she needed the day off today, so I needed someone else to cover.” Jessica tried to control her anger as she heard the news- Hannah Marsh was one of her fellow supervisors at the London hub, but unlike Jessica, she had spent all of her time since being promoted ingratiating herself with Alana to the extent that the two were rarely seen apart. As Jessica was learning, this was paying dividends for Hannah.
“Who’d you get in the end?” Jessica asked.
“That’s not important,” Alana replied. “What’s important is that you weren’t available to answer the phone when I called.”
“I was in the hospital, my phone was switched off,” Jessica retorted. “And I’ve had this leave booked for months, you knew that, right?”
“Yes, but you should be prepared to put the company’s needs first,” Alana replied. “I’ll be in touch, Jessica.”
“Yeah, bye,” Jessica said, letting out a long moan as she clicked off her phone.
“…Thank god I don’t work where you girls do,” Nina said.
“You wouldn’t be able to anyway,” Paige said with a smug grin. “Maximum age for a stewardess is thirty.”
“Get tae-“ Trisha replied with a look of pure fury. “If you still had any nuts I’d be kicking you in them!” Paige giggled at the threat from her sister- and the reminder of her new ‘equipment’.
“It’s especially worse for Trisha as she’s the older one!” Nina said with a smug grin.
“Piss off am I the older one!” Trisha snorted. “You’re first alphabetically, you’re the older one!”
“It’s only six minutes, I don’t see why you’re so defensive about it,” Nina teased as her twin seethed and Jessica and Paige sat back and enjoyed the show. “Is that even legal, anyway? Firing someone once they turn thirty?”
“Ugh, it’s a long story,” Jessica sighed. “I’m sure Paige has told you if before?”
“Tried to, anyway,” Paige chuckled.
“You girls need a union,” Trisha said. “Like, a proper trade union.”
“Never gonna happen,” Jessica sighed.
“Not while all the decision makers at the airline are busy brown-nosing their superiors,” Paige sighed. “Like one long, giant human centipede with Antoine Masson at the front.”
“What about Masson’s daughter?” Nina asked. “Doesn’t she still work for the airline?”
“Only for another few months, before she goes to university,” Paige replied. “And things there are- well, kinda complicated…”
----------
“Can’t imagine what it'd be like,” Ellen mused as she and her girlfriend shared a tall, cool strawberry milkshake at their favourite coffee shop.
“That is funny,” Amelie replied with a smug grin. “I know from experience that you know exactly what it is like to have a vagina!” The French girl giggled as her northern lover playfully blew a few drops of the milkshake at her through her straw.
“You know what I mean!” Ellen snorted. “Lucky her having three months off sick though, heh! Kinda makes you jealous, I mean, us ‘born as’ girls don’t get that, do we?”
“Paige said to me that as we get maternity leave,” Amelie shrugged. “Which is more than three months.”
“Yeah, doubt I’M going to knock you up any time soon,” Ellen chuckled. “Though it’s not like I’ve got to focus on my career either, heh.”
“Has Alana not given you a trainee again?” Amelie snorted.
“Yeah,” Ellen sighed. “And no, I DON’T want you to throw your surname around! I want to earn my way up the ladder, not buy it!”
“Some people in the company could learn from you,” Amelie snorted. “Including its owner.”
“Your father’s not done too bad, has he?” Ellen asked. “You’ve got to have some talent to turn a billion euros into five billion, right?”
“It takes more talent to turn no euros into a billion,” Amelie replied. “But you are right that he is a good businessman. He is a less good husband and father.”
“That’s another thing where I can’t imagine what it’d be like,” Ellen said. “Getting anything you ever wanted.”
“Trust me,” Amelie growled. “There were things I wanted that I did not get. A father who loves his wives and children more than money, to begin.”
“Yeah, that’s why I said any ‘thing’,” Ellen sighed. “Some- well, ‘things’ are more important than ‘things’.”
“Are we talking about Paige again?” Amelie asked with a smug grin, making Ellen snort and roll her eyes.
“Right,” the northern girl sighed. “You can’t tell me anymore that you don’t understand English slang!” Amelie giggled bashfully at her girlfriend’s teasing, before letting out a long sigh.
“I shall miss this,” Amelie sighed. “My twelve months for the airline have finished over a month ago."
“Doesn’t mean you HAVE to leave the airline,” Ellen said, before letting out a long sigh. “Though I can’t say I’d blame you. You know which uni you’ll be going to yet?”
“My father will want me to go to École Normale Superieure, where my brothers and sister went,” Amelie replied. “He is a patron, it will be free for me.”
“I can request to transfer to Paris,” Ellen shrugged. “I speak fluent French, shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
“And Alana will allow this?” Amelie sighed. “Or instead, Alana will be allowed to allow this? Ugh, I think life was easier if I didn’t work with you.”
“If you didn’t work with me, we’d never have met,” Ellen said softly. “Trust me, life is much, much better this way!”
“…It is,” Amelie giggled. “Maybe I should look at universities in London? Maybe I already have?”
“…And you’re only telling me now?” Ellen asked, rolling her eyes as her lover giggled even louder.
“I thought I would surprise you when I was accepted,” Amelie replied. “But you were looking so unhappy I thought I would make it an early present.”
“And it’s not even my birthday,” Ellen giggled. “But thanks.”
“De rien,” Amelie whispered as she linked her fingers with her lover. “It is nice to have someone who loves me for a reason that is not money!”
“How d’you know I don’t just love you for your money?” Ellen teased.
“Believe me, I know,” Amelie giggled as she and her lover shared a long, gentle kiss.
----------
The stewardesses who had welcomed Paige home spent the rest of the day relaxing and musing about their own transitions- none more so than Sophie, whose conflicted thoughts caused her to lay awake in bed contemplating her future- or rather, what remained of her future as ‘Sophie’.
The following morning, Sophie, along with her housemates, got out of bed before dawn, expertly applied her make-up and slithered into a slinky black pencil dress before heading westward to her place of work. There, as usual, she exchanged her smart dress for the black blouse and blue skirt, blazer, hat and heels that made up her uniform, but instead of heading to an aeroplane once she was dressed, Sophie went the opposite direction down the corridor to a small office where several nervous-looking young women were sat. Sophie immediately recognised one of the women, a petite blonde girl with piercing blue eyes, and sat down next to her with a smile.
“Hi,” Sophie said, trying her hardest to disguise her nerves. “I’m Sophie, and you’re Rachel, right?”
“R- right,” the young woman replied. “Yeah, I- I’m, umm…”
“Really nervous?” Sophie asked softly. “No need to be, really. Okay, I get it, the whole ‘first day in a new job’ thing, heh.”
“Yeah,” Rachel chuckled. “Especially as, you know…”
“It- it’s your ‘first day’ in another sense?” Sophie asked, biting her lip at the awkwardness of the question.
“Umm- no, actually,” Rachel replied with a quiet giggle. “I mean, yes, I know about the whole reputation of the airline, but I- I was born with, you know, ‘lady parts’, heh.”
“R- really?” Sophie asked, clearly surprised by the revelation.
“’Fraid so!” Rachel nervously chuckled. “I just always wanted to be a flight attendant, and Soixante-Trois pay REALLY well, I speak French and Spanish and I love visiting France and Spain so, well, yeah, really. If- if you don’t mind me asking, are- are you-“
“’Fraid so,” Sophie replied with a nervous chuckle of her own. “I- I, umm, came out about nine months ago, started working for Soixante-Trois at about the same time.”
“You’re very, you know, umm, convincing…” Rachel said, before blushing. “Sorry… I- I kinda, umm, never met a, umm, you know…”
“Never met a transgendered person before?” Sophie asked, smiling as Rachel blushed. “It’s okay. Want to know a secret?”
“W- what?” Rachel asked.
“Before I started working here…” Sophie said with a sly grin. “I’d never met a transgendered person either, hehe!” Sophie and Rachel shared a cheeky, girlish giggle as the rest of their colleagues arrived, and before long, the room was hard at work as Sophie and the rest of her more experienced colleagues instructed the trainees in the ins and outs of working for Soixante-Trois Airlines.
After three hours of hard work, the ‘class’ broke for lunch, and Sophie couldn’t help but smirk at the overwhelmed look on her trainee’s face as the two of them picked at their meals.
“It’s not THAT hard, honestly,” Sophie said, making Rachel giggle nervously. “It seems like a lot to take in, but you get the hang of it very quickly.”
“Ah, I remember saying THAT nine months ago!” A familiar Essex accented voice said, making Sophie roll her eyes as the owner of the voice sat down next to her.
“Hi Abbey,” Sophie chuckled. “Rachel Lyscombe, meet Abbey Watkins, my mentor when I started here. Abbey, meet Rachel, my trainee. Guess you could say you’re her ‘grand-mentor’?”
“Oh- shut up,” Abbey said with a derisive snort of laughter. “Remember you’re actually older than I am?”
“It’s nice to meet you, Abbey,” Rachel said, exchanging a feminine handshake with her new friend. “How long have you been working for the airline?”
“Just over three years,” Abbey replied. “Had my ups and downs in that time. That- that was kinda, you know, an aeroplane joke, heh.”
“I got it,” Rachel said with a smirk. “So, umm, you- you’ve worked here for three years?”
“Yep!” Abbey replied, her smile faltering as an awkward silence descended over the table.
“…You can ask her,” Sophie said, sitting back with a smug grin as her trainee’s cheeks started to redden.
“Umm, okay…” Rachel mumbled. “Abbey, are- are you-“
“Yes, yes I am,” Abbey replied with a smirk. “There’s no need to be so coy about it, you’re going to be working with a lot of ‘girls like us’. Some of us will prefer not to talk about our transitions but a lot of us will be open to any questions you might have. Though… Would I be right in guessing that you don’t, well, ‘need’ any questions answering?”
“…Guilty as charged!” Rachel replied with a giggle.
“Ugh, SO jealous,” Abbey sighed.
“Never had anyone be jealous of me for being born before!” Rachel said.
“Well, get used to it,” Abbey said. “You’re going to be working with a lot of ‘girls like us’. Some of us will only be at the start of our journey, some of us will be a bit further along and some of us will even have taken ‘the final step’. But we are all female on the inside, no matter what the outside looks like. That’s the most important thing.”
“Oh- I get it, honestly,” Rachel said. “I wouldn’t have come to work here if I didn’t. I mean, I’ve watched every episode of the Angels, I get that some people need to live their lives as a different gender, it’s just-“
“Weird meeting girls like us in the flesh?” Abbey asked.
“Weird that you’re all so hot!” Rachel giggled. “Seriously, if you hadn’t explained to me, I would NEVER have been able to tell.”
“Aww, thanks!” Abbey giggled as a wide, genuine grin spread across Sophie’s face.
While ‘James’ was unlikely to ever become a male model, he’d certainly not been bad looking either, and had always been popular with women on nights out or at parties. Moreover, ‘James’ had always been proud of his attractiveness, and the first time that ‘Sophie’ had been told how attractive she was as a woman, it had made her cringe. As time had gone on, however, Sophie grew increasingly proud of the compliments she received, taking it at first as proof that she was doing a good job in her undercover role, but in recent weeks, Sophie had begun to take the compliments in the manner they were intended- especially when they were being given by someone as attractive as Rachel.
“Thanks,” Sophie said with a grin as Rachel giggled and blushed again. “We, umm, we should eat up, got to get back to class, heh!”
“Of course!” Abbey giggled. “I’ll leave you two alone, got a trainee of my own to whip into shape, hehe!”
“She means that metaphorically,” Sophie reassured her trainee, triggering another giggling fit.
“Well- usually, anyway,” Abbey said with a wink as she finished her meal and headed toward the corner of the small cafeteria where her trainee was sat.
After lunch, Sophie and Rachel headed back to the classroom where the latter spent the rest of the day learning about the company’s policies with the former’s help. By the time 5pm came around, Rachel’s head was buzzing from the information she’d taken in, and she let out a long sigh of relief as she freed herself from her tight blue uniform, as did her mentor standing beside her.
“One day down, hundreds more to go!” Sophie teased the petite blonde girl, who replied with a tired, nervous giggle.
“Yeah,” Rachel replied. “Can’t wait to get up there and, you know, do it for real, heh.”
“It’s pretty daunting the first few times,” Sophie advised. “But you’re definitely approaching it with the right attitude, hehe!” Rachel smiled in response to Sophie’s teasing, before nonchalantly stepping out of her skirt and her blouse, standing before the brown-haired woman in just her bra and thong.
Sophie mused on how comfortable Rachel looked stripping off in front of her, as though she’d done it a hundred times before- which, Sophie reasoned, Rachel would have done in places like school changing rooms. What surprised Sophie the most, however, was how comfortable she herself was. She was no stranger to being in the company of other women in various states of undress, but she’d rationalised that as the women were mostly transwomen, it somehow didn’t ‘count’. However, Sophie felt no different being in the changing room with Rachel as she did with Amy, Hayley or any of the other girls- which proved to her that there really was no difference between the girls. It didn’t take Sophie long to reach the further conclusion that there wasn’t any real difference between her and the rest of the girls either…
“Like it?” Rachel asked as she did a playful twirl in the form-fitting pencil dress she’d slithered in to whilst Sophie was lost in thought. “I bought it especially for work, heh. Any job that gives their employees a clothing budget is somewhere worth working for, hehe!”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied as she pulled on her plain dress. “It’s definitely a perk, heh. Even if it is maybe a little, you know, odd to have a dress code going to and from work?”
“Don’t see why not,” Rachel shrugged. “They want their employees to project a professional image, right?”
“Well- yeah,” Sophie conceded. “How can you tell who is an employee and who isn’t, though, once we’re out of uniform? And before you say anything, I remind you that you yourself said that ‘girls like me’ are indistinguishable from ‘girls like you’?”
“…Yes, and I didn’t mean it like that!” Rachel said, he cheeks reddening once again. “But, you know, well, umm…”
“I think I get what you mean,” Sophie said softly. “So, umm… You heading home now?”
“Probably,” Rachel shrugged. “I still live with my parents, sad as that sounds.”
“You’re only nineteen,” Sophie shrugged. “I was still living with my parents until I was 22, apart from when I was at uni in Leicester. Nothing wrong with that.”
“I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “A lot of the other trainees are talking about how they moved into their own flats, got their independence… I’d kinda like that, you know? Be free to live life to my own rules…”
“Don’t forget why a lot of the trainees need that independence,” Sophie whispered. “A lot of them don’t have the option of living at home. My- umm, myself included.”
“Oh- oh, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Rachel said, grimacing as the colour drained from her cheeks. “I completely forgot…”
“It’s okay,” Sophie said. “You won’t make that mistake again, that’s the important thing.” And god knows I made a few similar ones when I started for the airline, Sophie thought to herself.
“Are- do, umm, do you not speak to your parents at all?” Rachel asked. “If you don’t mind me asking, I mean.”
“It’s… Kinda complicated,” Sophie sighed as she thought of how proud her parents were of their son- and how oblivious they were to their 'daughter'. “We should probably get out of here before it gets too crowded in here, heh. But, umm, but before you go home, do- do you want to get a drink somewhere? I know a pub nearby- well, okay, it’s in central London, but I reckon you’ll like it?”
“Umm, sure!” Rachel replied as the two women grabbed their handbags and headed to the nearest tube stop. “Which pub is it?”
“Well,” Sophie replied with a smug grin. “You know you said you liked the Angels…?”
Just over an hour later, Sophie and Rachel were sat at a table in the pub managed by the trainee’s namesake, giggling as they shared stories over a small bottle of white wine.
“I can’t believe I’m in the actual Angels’ pub!” The petite blonde girl gushed as she sipped her drink. “God, do NOT let me drink too many of these tonight, hehe!”
“I wouldn’t be much of a mentor if I did!” Sophie chuckled. “And it’s not really an ‘Angels pub’, I mean, it’s owned by Joshua Benedict, and you occasionally get Angels dropping in, but, well, yeah.”
“Good enough for me,” Rachel said smugly.
"It's really more of a hangout for Soixante-Trois employees- well, some, anyway," Sophie explained. "The manager of the pub used to work for the airline, she's engaged to a guy whose sister is in Out of Heaven, and with Joshua owning the pub there's a lot of six degrees of Kevin Bacon stuff going on, heh."
"And the 'Sky Angels' show they did a few years ago too," Rachel reminded her mentor. "I know there's, like, a close-knit group from some of the Instagram pages I follow, some of the stewardesses are close to Jamie-Lee Burke for obvious, umm, reasons..."
"Yeah, kinda," Sophie said. "I've met her a couple of times myself but I wouldn't say I'm a friend, but, you know, she's pretty cool."
"Well, if I come here often enough, I'm bound to run into her sooner or later, right?" Rachel asked.
“You never know,” Sophie said with a smug grin as the establishment’s manager approached the table.
“Ah, good evening Miss Connelly!” The blonde-haired manager said with a warm smile.
“Good evening Miss-but-not-for-much-longer Harrison!” Sophie teased. “Rachel Lyscombe, I’d like you to meet Rachel Harrison, the manager of this fine public house. Rachel, meet Rachel, my new trainee. She just started for the airline today.”
“Ah, wondered if you’d be playing ‘Obi-Wan’ this time round,” Rachel H said with a grin. “Nice to meet you, Rachel, though we may need to work out a way of referring to each other without causing confusion, hehe!”
“I don’t mind being called ‘Rachel L’,” Rachel L replied. “There were, like, twelve Rachels in my school year thanks to Friends, heh.”
“Wish I could say I was young enough that that was where I got my name from,” Rachel H said with a chuckle. “So, how are you finding like in the skies?”
“Not even got to the skies yet!” Rachel L replied. “Really looking forward to it, though.”
“And looking forward to meeting any Angels,” Sophie teased, making the younger woman cringe and blush.
“Come here often enough and you never know,” Rachel H said with a smirk. “I’m sure Sophie could have a word or two with Zoe as well, in case you’re ever free on Sunday mornings?”
“And don’t mind squeezing your body into a pair of tights and a skin-tight leotard?” Sophie teased.
“Are you kidding?” Rachel L laughed. “I LOVE ballet. All things girlish, really. Took ballet lessons up until I was seventeen, still sometimes pop in one of Krystie Fullerton’s ballet exercise DVDs when I want to work out. Always wanted to go to one of the Angels’ Wednesday morning sessions, but a Sunday morning session with you girls will do for now, hehe!"
"We can probably arrange that," Rachel H said with a grin. "I take it you'd have no problem dancing with women who weren't, you know, 'born that way'?"
"I'd be working for the wrong company if I did!" Rachel L giggled. "And, you know, I've always wanted to work for Soixante-Trois, ever since the Sky Angels show was on, heh.”
“Well, welcome to the family,” Rachel H said with a smile. “Like a very wise woman often says, you can never have too many friends!”
“Too right!” Rachel L giggled excitedly, before smiling smugly as the door’s pub opened. “Ah, looks like my ride home’s here!” Sophie smiled as the young woman stood up and made her way over to a tall, attractive young man, greeting him with a long and obviously loving kiss.
“Hey babe,” the young man said as Rachel L led him back to the table she’d just vacated.
“Hey boo,” Rachel L giggled. “Girls, I’d like you to meet Lucas, my extremely sexy boyfriend! Lucas, this is Rachel- no, really- the manager of the pub, and this is Sophie, my mentor at work.”
“Nice to meet you both,” Lucas said with a smirk. “Hope you’re taking care of my Rach?”
“Stop it,” Rachel L playfully mumbled as her boyfriend wrapped his arm around her waist.
“It’s not like she needs much care,” Sophie giggled. “She’s a really fast learner.”
“Meh, I’ve got a good teacher,” Rachel L shrugged. “See you tomorrow, Soph, and nice meeting you, Rachel!”
“You too,” Rachel H said with a smile as her namesake and her boyfriend left the pub. “Well, she seems nice enough.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool,” Sophie shrugged as she finished her glass of wine.
“And I meant what I said,” Rachel continued. “I’m impressed that you’ve taken on a trainee in this hiring round, given that- in your own words- you aren’t ‘really’ a flight attendant, right?”
“Just, you know, keeping up my cover,” Sophie mumbled. “Most stewardesses take on a trainee when they’ve been working for 6 or 9 months, right?”
“True,” Rachel replied. “Most stewardesses aren’t moonlighting as undercover journalists though. Or is that the other way round?”
“Honestly, I’m not going native,” Sophie said. “Twelve months, then I’ll write up my notes, given them to you to publish, and I’m out of there. Nine months down, three to go.”
“Until you never pull on a uniform again?” Rachel asked, smiling as Sophie nodded. “How about never pulling on a skirt again?”
“…I- umm…” Sophie replied.
“You might not be going native as a stewardess,” Rachel said softly. “Not that there’s anything wrong at all with THAT, of course. You’d be surprised how many girls only plan to work for the airline for a year or so then go ‘all the way’ and transition. I think Jess and Paige might even be on that list, and look at Paige now! From the waist up, of course.”
“I’m never doing THAT,” Sophie replied.
“Nor is Natalie,” Rachel reminded the brown-haired woman. “But I’m not the one you should be talking about this with. When are you next seeing Beverly?”
“Thursday after work,” Sophie replied. “And yes, we’ll have a lot to talk about.”
“Fair enough,” Rachel replied. “Will Rachel L be one of those things?”
“Don’t see why,” Sophie shrugged. “I mean, I’ll mention her, but she’s just, you know, a colleague.”
“Who you’re responsible for training,” Rachel said. “I suppose you’re right, though.”
“And it’s not like I’m, you know, responsible for ‘showing her how to be a woman’,” Sophie said. “I don’t have to be a mentor there as she’s, you know, not transgender.”
“Oh- really?” Rachel asked. “Huh, I guessed she might be ‘cause of how short she is, and what she was saying about ballet…”
“Is- is that unusual?” Sophie asked.
“A little,” Rachel shrugged. “It’s very rare for a transgendered girl to have a non-trans trainee… Meh, I’m sure Alana has her reasons. You sticking around long tonight?”
“Got to get off after this drink,” Sophie replied. “No rest for us hard working mentors, hehe!”
“Teacher’s pet,” Rachel teased as Sophie finished her drink, grabbed her handbag and headed back to her flat.
A short while later, Sophie flopped onto her sofa at home, and a few short hours after that, she was in bed, musing on the day’s events. Sophie genuinely liked her young trainee, and the feeling was obviously mutual- and this served to make Sophie feel guilty. Guilty that she had yet another person to lie to as she worked on her expose. Guilty that she had another person to let down when the time finally came to leave the airline- and ‘Sophie’- behind for good. However, as Sophie’s feelings of guilt filled her, she contemplated whether or not Rachel H had been right- whether or not she had ‘gone native’.
As Sophie ran through her usual routine on the warm Thursday morning, she mused on how ‘normal’ it had become. Brushing her hair, applying make-up and pulling on women’s underwear was second nature to her to the extent that she could barely remember what ‘James’s morning routine had been. Travelling to work with Amy and Hayley was far more fun than her usual lonely morning commute had been. And she’d even grown used to walking in heels- often, when walking in sock feet, she’d found her heels lifting up almost as if they were compensating for not being in heeled shoes. Sophie wondered whether or not there would be any real harm in ‘going native’, until she remembered that ‘James’s life hadn’t been completely lonely. ‘He’ had a family that loved him, that cared for him, that missed him… And would almost certainly go ballistic if they ever found out about ‘Sophie’. Sophie didn’t want to ever do anything to upset her parents- but at the same time, she never wanted to lose touch with Amy, Hayley or any of her other friends. Sophie knew, however, that there was no way she could have her cake and eat it- especially when it came to the physical aspect of transitioning.
“Morning!” Sophie said with a forced smile as she sat down next to her trainee, unconsciously smoothing her skirt underneath her as she’d done hundreds of times before.
“Morning!” Rachel replied. “Thanks for the drink last night, I really needed that, heh.”
“You’re welcome!” Sophie replied. “So… Did you go home last night or did you spend the rest of the evening with your boyfriend?”
“Both,” Rachel mumbled as her cheeks reddened. “My parents really like Lucas so they’re okay with him staying over, even though my sisters are only 10 and 13.”
“That’s not THAT young,” Sophie retorted.
“My parents would probably disagree,” Rachel said with a playful roll of her eyes. “They’re okay with me having regular sex since I was seventeen but flying by myself to a different country? HELL no. They don’t even like it when Nicki or Lizzie go on school trips.”
“Harsh,” Sophie said.
“Can’t wait to see their reaction when they find out that the dress code mandates thongs and stockings instead of tights,” Rachel said with a giggle.
“I bet they wouldn’t react as badly as my parents would,” Sophie retorted, making the blonde girl blush again.
“Ah- yeah, sorry…” Rachel cringed. “I mean, it is REALLY easy to forget that you’re- well, you know?”
“Thanks,” Sophie said with a genuine grin. “And I know a few of the girls at this company who reacted badly to the whole ‘stockings’ thing, let alone their parents.”
“Meh, I can see the reasoning behind it,” Rachel shrugged. “I mean, these skirts are SO tight and you really don’t want a VPL, and when I was at school my legs were so skinny that ‘tights’ really kinda didn’t live up to their name, heh.” Sophie smirked as their manager arrived to begin the day’s ‘lessons’, though internally, she was conflicted- as much as she liked Rachel, with the attitude she had, she probably wouldn’t be a good fit for the tutu project, which was going to lead to yet more conflict for Sophie…
After three hours of hard work, the ‘teachers’ allowed the trainees and their mentors to head for lunch, where Sophie again chuckled at the frazzled look on her trainee’s face.
“And I thought yesterday was tough,” Rachel chuckled as she nibbled at her flatbread and hummus.
“You will get the hang of it, honestly,” Sophie reassured the blonde girl. “After a while, it’ll become second nature. And god knows I should know a thing or two about THAT, heh.”
“Yeah,” Rachel chuckled. “I suppose I’ll get the hang of it soon enough. I mean, this IS my dream job and has been for, like, years, heh, but actually doing it is kinda, you know, a lot of really hard work?” Another thing I know a thing or two about, Sophie thought to herself as she pictured her future journalism career.
“If you enjoy, it’s not really hard work,” Sophie advised, wondering whether by ‘enjoyed’ she meant the writing part of her work, or the ‘being a woman’ part.
“True!” Rachel giggled. “Hope my parents see it that way, you know, respect the fact that I work hard at the job, I’m good at it, that sort of thing?”
“I’m sure they will,” Sophie said softly as she wondered the same thing about her own parents, causing her mind to race.
Virtually everything Rachel had said had resonated in some way with Sophie, from her love of her job, her need to adapt quickly to new situations to, most of all, the hope that her parents will accept her for who she is. Sophie had already made plans to see her parents on the Saturday, taking advantage of a rare weekend when she wasn’t working, but Rachel’s tales had added an extra dimension to the visit. Sophie’s parents would inevitably ask how her life and her career were going, and Sophie would inevitably have to lie to them once again and feel guilty for doing so. However, no one was forcing Sophie to lie to her parents- and she wondered what would happen if she was to tell them the truth…
After lunch, Sophie, Rachel and the rest of the ‘class’ sat through more induction and interactive learning programs, until eventually, 5pm rolled around and the stewardesses headed back to the locker room to change into their street clothes. Before she could even leave the ‘classroom’, however, Sophie was intercepted by her manager, who had a concerned look on her face.
“Sophie, have you got a sec?” Alana asked, putting the young woman’s nerves on edge.
“Umm, sure…” Sophie replied. “I’ve got an appointment with my counsellor this evening though."
“Oh, well I won’t keep you long,” Alana said. “I just wanted to talk to you about Rachel.”
“My trainee or my cousin?” Sophie asked cautiously.
“Actually, kinda both,” Alana replied. “I’m not going to stop you from going to see your cousin at her pub, but we would prefer it if you didn’t take, well, ‘new’ Rachel there.”
“Umm, okay,” Sophie replied. “Rachel’s an adult though, she can make her own choices, can’t she?”
“Oh, absolutely,” Alana said. “If she wants to hang out there, it’s her choice, but we believe it’d be in her best interests not to do so.”
“Okay…” Sophie said. “May- may I ask why?”
“We see a bright future for Rachel in the company,” Alana replied. “She has all the qualities we look for in a model employee, and we believe she’ll make an ideal supervisor, and eventually, manager.”
“…She’s only been working here for two days!” Sophie said, trying to suppress a snort of laughter.
“Nonetheless, she’s someone we want to ‘nurture’,” Alana said. “Given the way your cousin left the airline, you can appreciate how we’d prefer it if they didn’t interact.” Sophie smiled and nodded and allowed herself an internal grin- this information was news to her, which meant extra material for her expose- which meant that she’d need extra time to write it, which meant she’d need to spend even more time as ‘Sophie’…
“I see,” Sophie said stoically.
“There’s no need to be jealous,” Alana said with a chuckle. “If we weren’t very happy with your performance we wouldn’t have selected you to mentor Rachel. You’ve got a good future with the company too, Sophie, but we can already tell that Rachel will be something special.”
“Yeah, it’s okay, I get it,” Sophie said. “I’ll let her- well, both Rachels know, heh. I, umm, kinda need to head off now…”
“Sure,” Alana shrugged. “Thanks for stopping behind, and good luck with your counsellor!”
“Thanks,” Sophie said as she headed back to the locker room, thinking about what her manager had said- both that she was showing clear favouritism to Sophie’s new friend, but also that she considered Sophie herself to be one of her best workers. If Alana only knew why Sophie was REALLY working for the company, she’d undoubtedly change her mind- but once again, Sophie wondered whether or not Rachel H had been right and she had started to ‘go native’…
A short while later, Sophie walked up the stairs of the posh clinic in central London where she’d been going for the previous several months, entering the office of one of her few confidantes with a tired smile on her face.
“Good afternoon, Sophie,” Dr Phillips said with a smile. “Good day at work?”
“Not bad,” Sophie replied. “Not actually been flying anywhere this week, we’ve got a group of new hires at work and I’ve been assigned to mentor one of them.”
“Ah,” Dr Phillips said. “A few of your colleagues that I’ve spoken to have mentioned they’ve been mentors in the past, I think it’s every February, May, August and November, right?”
“Yep,” Sophie replied. “To avoid the really busy months, well, apart from August. Bet most of the colleagues you spoke to weren’t working undercover for the airline, though.”
“I bet most of them weren’t,” Dr Phillips conceded. “This is obviously troubling you, Sophie- is it the fact that you feel you’re deceiving an employer who’s rewarding you for good performance?”
“Partly,” Sophie sighed. “My manager even took me to one side today to compliment me on how well I’ve been doing.”
“You said ‘partly’,” Dr Phillips said. “May I ask what the other part of your worry is?”
“…That I’m ‘going native’,” Sophie sighed. “Truth be told, it’s not that bad a job. Sure, the customers can be a real pain, the dress code is idiotic, the owner is a massive misogynist and management- well, I actually learned something new about them just an hour ago that’ll probably shock you, heh. But it’s not the worst place I’ve ever worked, and the pay is REALLY good too.”
“And as we’ve discussed before on numerous occasions,” Dr Phillips said, “it’s not just in the job that you’re worried about ‘going native’, are you?”
“Every day that goes past, I feel more and more comfortable as a woman,” Sophie sighed. “It’s like this is natural for me now, and- and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without it. The clothes are unimportant, they don’t matter at all, same goes for the hair and the make-up and all that stuff, but the friends I’ve made, I- I don’t want to let them go. I’ve had more fun in 9 months as ‘Sophie’ than I ever did in 23 years as ‘James’.”
“It’s perfectly natural to feel this way,” Dr Phillips said softly. “And nothing to feel ashamed about.”
“I don’t feel ashamed,” Sophie said firmly. “I may have done before, but I don’t anymore. But…”
“Go on,” Dr Phillips said.
“My- my parents probably will be ashamed,” Sophie sighed. “My trainee’s copped a lot of criticism from her parents just for wanting to work as a stewardess, and she’s, you know, not even transgendered.”
“Parental pressure can be a terrible thing,” Dr Phillips advises. “You’ve met my daughter, right?”
“Who, Sarah?” Sophie asked. “A couple of times, yeah.”
“I’ll tell you a story in confidence,” Dr Phillips said, taking a deep breath. “Growing up, Sarah always felt pressure to go into medicine when she was an older. My brother and my sister are both doctors as well- surgeons, rather than psychiatrists- and as I’m the only one of us to have had a child, Sarah felt the pressure to go into the ‘family business’.”
“Isn’t she studying fashion design?” Sophie asked.
“She is,” Dr Phillips replied. “And about to graduate with a distinction and start a Master’s degree in it next year. And I couldn’t be happier or prouder of her. But when she was fourteen, she’d convinced herself that I’d be terribly disappointed in her if she studied anything other than medicine or psychiatry at university.”
“Did- did you ever say anything to her that made her think that?” Sophie asked.
“Never,” Dr Phillips replied. “This ‘parental pressure’ was all in her head. She eventually realised this, the fact that I actually did some modelling for her for her final year's assignment might have helped!”
"Heh," Sophie chuckled. “Rachel- my trainee- has said that she actually has had her parents, you know, ‘talk to her’ though,”
“I wasn’t necessarily talking about Rachel,” Dr Phillips said softly.
“…Ah,” Sophie whispered.
“I’m not going to tell you that changing your gender isn’t a much bigger deal than changing your job,” Dr Phillips advised. “Even if it is- or rather, was- on a temporary basis and you aren’t taking any physical steps to transition. But you’re not the first person to have built up their parents’ rejection in their head to the point where they’re almost afraid to speak to them at all.”
“I don’t need to come out, though,” Sophie retorted. “I’m not going to be ‘Sophie’ forever.”
“Even though- to use your own words- you couldn’t imagine your life without ‘Sophie’ in it?” Dr Phillips asked, silencing the young woman sat opposite her.
“…Yeah, I did say that,” Sophie croaked. “But I’m not going to, you know, ‘physically’ transition. I saw Paige coming home after her operation and- no. That’s not for me. I like being ‘James’ too much. Ugh, yes, as well as being ‘Sophie’.”
“And there’s nothing wrong with that either,” Dr Phillips said reassuringly. “Not every transgendered person has SRS, some don’t even start HRT. It doesn’t mean you can’t successfully be a woman if you want to be. You just may have to work at it a little harder than other girls, that’s all. But I know for a fact that you’re not afraid of hard work.”
“True,” Sophie shrugged.
“That’s a quality any decent parent would be proud of,” Dr Phillips said. “Regardless of whether their child was male or female, or wearing trousers or a skirt.”
“I suppose,” Sophie sighed.
“Of course, if you’re still not comfortable with the idea of coming out to your parents, that’s entirely up to you,” Dr Phillips said. “I can’t force you to come out, or even recommend, I can only offer advice, and support. If you want me to be there in person when you come out, or if you want me to make my office available-“
“No- thanks, that’s okay,” Sophie interrupted. “No offence but they’d probably be doubly disappointed if they knew I was seeing a shrink.”
“There’s no shame in asking for help through your problems,” Dr Phillips said softly. “That’s a lesson a lot of people could stand to learn. When are you next seeing your parents?”
“Saturday, actually,” Sophie chuckled. “’Cause I’m not working this weekend… Figured I’d, you know, take advantage and drop in to see them.”
“And are you thinking about telling them about ‘Sophie’?” Dr Phillips asked.
“I think about that every time I see them,” Sophie sighed. “But you’re right, I can’t go on being Sophie indefinitely while keeping them in the dark.”
“And you do want to go on being Sophie indefinitely?” Dr Phillips asked, once again silencing the young woman.
“…I want to have that choice,” Sophie replied. “Of course, then I’ll have to explain to Amy and Hayley why I’m not transitioning, not taking HRT…”
“One step at a time,” Dr Phillips said. “There’s no sense fretting about steps 2 and 3 when you haven’t taken step 1 yet. And I think you’ll find Amy and Hayley may be more understanding than you think.”
“You’re right,” Sophie chuckled. “About everything. As usual.”
“I just do what I can,” Dr Phillips said with a smile.
Forty-five minutes later, after covering topics including Sophie’s work, her life at home with Amy and Hayley and her progress on the expose, Sophie stood up, smoothed out her dress and shook her counsellor’s hand, before breathing a long sigh of relief.
“Thanks, as always,” Sophie said with a tired chuckle.
“You’re welcome, as always!” Dr Phillips replied. “I know sessions like this can be uncomfortable but we have made a lot of good progress over the last nine months. And I do believe we’ll still be seeing each other long after your ‘project’ has run its course.”
“Yeah, I think so too,” Sophie said.
“We will find a way you can live your life however you want, whenever you want,” Dr Phillips reassured the young woman. “Contrary to popular belief, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have your cake and eat it. But we’ve talked long enough today, I think!”
“Yeah, thanks again for agreeing to an evening meeting,” Sophie said with a genuine smile.
“Most of the people I help have full time jobs, I need to work around that,” Dr Phillips shrugged. “What have you got planned for the rest of the evening?”
“Sleeping!” Sophie giggled. “Been so busy this week, heh. Just one day to go, though.”
“That’s one way of looking at it, heh!” Dr Phillips chuckled.
“Have you got anything exciting planned?” Sophie asked.
“My gentleman friend’s coming up from Brighton for the evening,” Dr Phillips replied with a wide grin. “Just because I’m now the wrong side of fifty, it doesn’t mean I can’t take my own advice about having my cake and eating it!”
“Heh, true!” Sophie chuckled. “See you next week.” Sophie smiled as she waved goodbye to the middle-aged counsellor before heading back to her flat, which she found empty thanks to her flat mates being on later flights. Sophie took advantage of the silence to muse on what she’d learned from her meeting with her counsellor, as well as things she already knew- that she had the support of her friends, and that she could always rely on them should the worst happen when speaking to her family. She also mused on one thing that she’d said without having realised it- that she’d never again be able to live her life without ‘Sophie’ being a part of it. And the more she mused on this fact, the more content she felt…
“Hello, Obi-Wan!” Amy said as she walked through the front door, startling Sophie and derailing her train of thought.
“We disturb you?” Hayley asked as she followed the ginger-haired girl into the flat.
“Umm- no, just, umm, enjoying the silence, heh!” Sophie chuckled.
“And god knows we hardly get any of THAT!” Amy giggled. “’Fraid we’re going to be noisy for a bit, if you don’t mind?”
“No, I’ve had enough silence for today!” Sophie giggled.
“Good girl!” Hayley cheered as she headed toward the kitchenette, emerging seconds later with a bottle of wine and three glasses.
“So then…” Amy asked. “How’s the ‘padawan’ coming along?”
“She’s doing fine,” Sophie replied, biting her lip as she remembered what she was told by Alana as she left the airport.
“But…?” Amy asked.
“I think Sophie’s just surprised by someone as extremely girly as you using a Star Wars reference,” Hayley teased, making Sophie blush and Amy roll her eyes.
“What?” The ginger girl protested. “I can’t be a sexy, sultry woman AND like Star Wars?”
“Just as long as I don’t ever see you in a gold bikini,” Hayley said, rolling her eyes as a smug grin spread across Amy’s face.
“No promises,” Amy said, before turning back to Sophie. “But I'm guessing you weren’t talking about that though, right?”
“Yeah, kinda,” Sophie grimaced. “It- umm, it’s kinda awkward… Not sure it’s something I should be telling you, really.”
“Is- is it personal?” Hayley asked. “I mean, you already told us that Rachel was, you know, ‘not trans’, is it something to do with that?”
“I really hope not,” Sophie replied, before letting out a long sigh. “Okay… I’m going to need you both to swear that you won’t tell ANYONE about this, okay?”
“Of course,” Amy said as she and Hayley both nodded.
“Alana, she-“ Sophie grimaced. “She kinda talked to me, she said that Rachel is basically being groomed for management even before she started.”
“Is- is that it?” Amy asked, confusing the brown-haired woman. “Ugh, Soph, trust me, that sort of shit happens ALL the time.”
“Wha- really?” Sophie asked.
“From what I’ve heard this last year, sure,” Amy replied. “You know Annabelle, the American girl who lives with Abbey and Anna-Jade? She told me once that she was being ‘groomed’ the same way, given advancement opportunities before everyone else… I’m guessing it’s because of Masson wanting to expand to America and he saw her as the ‘face’ of that expansion but it made her really uncomfortable.”
“How did Annabelle find out?” Sophie asked.
“Think it was her ex-boyfriend who let it slip,” Amy replied. “The pilot guy, the one who’s about 95% grease?”
“The one who’s Masson’s nephew?” Hayley asked.
“That’s him,” Amy confirmed. “Anyway, I don’t know the whole story, but from what I understand, he offered her a leg up if she offered him a leg ov-“
“Yes, yes, message understood,” Sophie chuckled as her journalistic instincts began to tingle. “And this sort of thing happens all the time?”
“It’s not like it only happens at Soixante-Trois,” Amy replied. “And it is Masson’s company, he kinda should have the final say in things.”
“Well- I guess,” Sophie shrugged.
“And can we please not talk about work anymore?” Hayley moaned. “Paris today AND tomorrow is more than I can deal with!”
“Still bad, then?” Sophie asked.
“I- what part of ‘change the subject’ didn’t you understand?” Hayley said with an exasperated snort of laughter that made Sophie blush.
“Sorry…” Sophie moaned. “Kinda difficult to avoid the topic when we all work together though, isn’t it?”
“Meh, I guess,” Hayley shrugged. “If Ellen still lived here we could pester her about how things are going with Amelie, I guess.”
“Depressing all three of us single ladies?” Amy asked.
“And given who Amelie’s father is, it still qualifies as talk of work,” Sophie reminded her flat mate.
“…Okay, you’ve got me there,” Hayley chuckled. “Guess we’ll just have to talk about, I dunno, clothes, make-up, celebrities?”
“Now you’re talking!” Amy giggled excitedly.
“But before we do,” Sophie said, making the other two women playfully jeer her, “we do have room for a fourth person in this flat, don’t we?”
“Why, got anyone in mind?” Amy asked.
“My trainee at work,” Sophie said. “Yes, yes, I know we talked about not discussing work, but I’m only talking about her, you know, ‘individually’. She’s nineteen, still lives with her parents and from what I understand, they’re kinda controlling so she could really use her freedom.”
“We’ll think about it,” Amy said. “We’ll meet her, have a couple of drinks, but if you don’t mind sharing the room, I don’t see why not.”
“And she wouldn’t mind sharing with three transgendered girls?” Hayley asked.
“Who better to give her fashion and make-up tips than us?” Sophie replied, earning cheers and giggles from her two friends. “I reckon she’d be up for it if you two are.”
“We’ll definitely think about it,” Hayley said. “Though she should consider herself lucky that she’s able to live with her parents at all, transgendered or not.” Sophie grimaced as she was brought right back to the topic she’d spent what felt like forever discussing with her counsellor- a topic she wasn’t keen to revisit with her friends. The main reason Sophie was so uneager to discuss her parents was the fact that she’d once again have to lie to her friends- telling them how she hadn’t spoken to them in months, when in fact, she would be seeing them with the subsequent 48 hours.
“…Topic change?” Sophie asked, smiling as her friends both nodded sympathetically.
“Reckon Rachel might fit in here, actually,” Amy said. “We’ve got two brunettes and a redhead, we need a blonde to, you know, ‘complete the set’.”
“I could always dye my hair blonde, if it helps?” Hayley offered, making her flat mates giggle into their wine. “Gentlemen prefer blondes, don’t they?”
“I wouldn’t know,” Amy replied. “I’ve neither been blonde OR a gentleman, hehe!” Sophie relaxed back onto the sofa as she and her friends gossiped long into the evening, the topic of conversation varying wildly but never touching on two of the three most fraught things In Sophie’s life- work and family. However, the third of those topics- the 'physical’ nature of transitioning- cropped up repeatedly throughout the evening, and each time it did, Sophie felt more and more uncomfortable- and not just because she had to lie to her friends’ faces.
Sophie had a lot on her mind as she settled down to bed that night, even though she’d spent most of the evening writing her thoughts down, not just for her expose or her next session with Dr Phillips, but for her own benefit as well. Writing down her thoughts had helped to calm Sophie down ever since she was a young boy, and had helped immensely since the start of her life as ‘Sophie’. As she looked back at her old diary entries, however, Sophie couldn’t help but notice that her attitude to her new life was a lot more negative in the beginning- and, more alarmingly, even her writing style seemed to have become more feminine over the previous few months…
The following morning, Sophie walked into Heathrow Airport, outwardly prepared for whatever her working day may bring but internally still conflicted by the many things she’d learned over the previous few days. Nonetheless, she was determined not to let it affect her work- as Alana had said, she was one of the airline’s hardest workers.
Meanwhile, Amy took advantage of her rest day and headed toward her nearest tube stop, armed with a 2 litre bottle of Irn Bru. A short while later, she was stood outside the flat where she’d welcomed her Scottish friend home three days earlier, but as she approached the front door, she was startled by the sound of raised voices coming from within the flat. Mere seconds later, Jessica emerged from the flat with a scowl on her fully made-up face and a smart, form-fitting dress covering her body.
“Hey Amy,” Jessica sighed as she hurried past, tying her long blonde hair into a tight ponytail.
“H- hey Jess,” Amy replied. “Umm, where- where are you going?”
“Well, apparently I’m going to Berlin,” Jessica spat.
“I thought you had the whole week off?” Amy asked.
“So did I!” Jessica shouted as she disappeared down the hall, leaving the ginger haired girl confused and flustered as she knocked on the front door.
“Yes? What?” An angry Scottish voice yelled from within the flat, making Amy jump back in surprise.
“Umm, it- it’s Amy,” the ginger girl replied. “Paige? You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Paige sighed. “Door’s open, come on in.” Amy smiled sympathetically as she walked into the flat and saw Paige laid on an airbed in the middle of the room, her face scrubbed clean of make-up but looking no less pretty than normal.
“Hey…” Amy said softly, sitting down on the plush sofa opposite the Scottish girl. “Did- did I interrupt something?”
“YOU didn’t,” Paige scoffed. “Jess- she- she got called in. AGAIN. Said no other supervisors were available… Ugh.”
“Kinda makes you want to not be promoted even despite the extra pay,” Amy scoffed. “Don’t they, you know, write the rotas around annual leave? Even supervisors’? Hell, even around Alana’s leave, didn’t she have, like, three holidays last year?”
“Ugh, no offence Ames, but she’s the LAST person I want to talk about right now,” Paige spat. “That fight you heard was- well, Jess didn’t want to go in, obviously, but she didn’t want to lose her job, or even her promotion either… Still reckon we’re getting punished for our ‘association’ with Rachel. And Zoe and Natalie, maybe.”
“Yeah…” Amy grimaced, remembering how she defended the company to her friends the previous evening. “Would Alana REALLY hold a grudge like that?”
“Oh yes,” Paige replied. “Actually told Jess to her face to be overly critical of Natalie when she found out that Nat’s sister was shagging Masson’s daughter, thinking it’d break the two of them up.”
“I remember hearing about that,” Amy said with a tired chuckle. "Doesn't sound any more legal six months later, heh."
“Aye,” Paige snorted.
“Will- will you and Jess be, you know, okay?” Amy asked. “That sounded like a nasty fight…”
“Ugh, we’ll be okay, it’s not like we were shouting at each other,” Paige replied. “When we’re angry, we just up the volume a bit. Sometimes I think Jess has more jock in her than she’s letting on, heh.”
“Heh,” Amy chuckled. “Don’t want to have bought a new dress for the wedding for no reason, you know?”
“Honestly, we’ll be fine,” Paige said. “I’ll call her on her layover. And is there ever no reason for buying a new dress?”
“None that I can think of!” Amy giggled. “Really sucks about Jess today, though, isn’t there something either of you can do about it?”
“Not if we want to keep being able to afford to live here,” Paige sighed. “If I wasn’t laid up we’d probably head up to Scotland for the weekend but, well, yeah.”
“Don’t need to explain why you can’t do THAT,” Amy chuckled. “How- how’s it, you know-“
“Feeling?” Paige asked. “Still hurts like hell. Dilating is the most awkward, embarrassing and uncomfortable thing I’ve ever had to do and I hate walking like a 2 year old with two broken legs.”
“But…?” Amy teased.
“…But I’m SO glad I’ve had it done,” Paige sighed happily. “Been dreaming- literally dreaming- of this since I was, like, eleven.”
“I know THAT feeling, hehe!” Amy giggled. “And no, I’m not going to ask to see it. The only one I want to see is either my own or the girl I’m in bed with!”
“Same,” Paige said with a smile. “Which obviously means ‘mine or Jess’s’.”
“When’s Jess having hers done?” Amy asked. “She’s been on HRT for a while, hasn’t she?”
“Two and a half years,” Paige replied. “She’s probably having it done end of November, start of December time, so she can spend Thanksgiving with her family in America and recover in time to spend Christmas in America as well, as her brother’s birthday’s 2 days before Christmas and he’s 21 this year so it’s kinda a big deal.”
“Lots to celebrate, then?” Amy asked. “I always thought Thanksgiving was in February, though?”
“You need to watch more crappy American TV!” Paige giggled. “Thanksgiving is the day before Black Friday, which I know you’re aware of, given how much you whinged about having to work on it last year!”
“They had a designer skirt discounted from £130 to £35 that wasn’t available online!” Amy moaned.
“Which you later got anyway as Sophie bought it for you for Christmas,” Paige retorted.
“Well- yeah, but still, you know?” Amy pleaded as Paige began to giggle. “…Fine. And speaking of Sophie, I’m gonna need to mention this thing about Jess to her, she kinda ‘collects’ stories like this, heh.”
“What, stories about SRS?” Paige asked.
“Oh- no, HELL no,” Amy replied. “If anything stories like that make her squeamish, though THAT’s understandable, I suppose. I meant stories about, you know, management being unfair, that sort of thing. Found out a while ago we've both been keeping 'diaries' about work and we've kinda swapped stories from time to time.”
“Huh,” Paige said. “Come to think of it, she has asked me a couple of times to, you know, go into detail about things like that that I’ve complained about in the past.”
“Weird,” Amy shrugged. “Oh well. Never mind. Do you have anyone else coming round to babysit you today?”
“Get tae- ‘babysit’!?” Paige protested as the ginger woman chuckled. “For your information, it was meant to be Jess, but obviously Alana fucking Branton got in the way there, so she’s called Anna-Jade round, she should be here in a bit. Once she’s got up.”
“Wonder how many F-bombs A-J dropped when she answered THAT call?” Amy asked with a giggle. “Ah, I am jealous, though, girls like you, Jess and A-J have been around the company for years, now you’re at the end of the journey… Kinda feel like, you know, an intruder?”
“Don’t see why,” Paige shrugged. “You’ve got as much right to be in the company as I have, or at the Sunday morning lessons- which I’m REALLY going to miss- or anywhere else, you know? You and the rest of ‘team ASH’. Even if Sophie does ask the occasional strange questions, hehe!”
As Amy and Paige spent the morning giggling and gossiping, the unknowing subject of their gossip was immersed in her ‘role’, helping to instruct her trainee in the roles and responsibilities of her new job. Despite Paige and Amy’s discussion of her evidence gathering, however, the expose was the furthest thing from Sophie’s mind. Instead, she strove to be the best employee she could be, and to ensure that Rachel would be as well, even as she ultimately sought to undermine the airline. However, by the time 5pm rolled around, Sophie had immersed herself so deeply in the role that she’d all but forgotten about her ‘other job’. Much to Sophie’s surprise, it was only as she unbuttoned her shiny black blouse and saw the padding in her bra that she remembered about her ‘other gender’.
“Ugh, can’t believe how tired I am,” Rachel said, suppressing a yawn as she removed her uniform and slithered into her slinky dark grey pencil dress.
“Trust me, it’ll be a million times worse when you get onto flights!” Sophie giggled. “And don’t expect to have every Saturday off, either! Tomorrow’s a rare privilege for both of us, heh.”
“Oh, believe me, I get that!” Rachel said with a tired grin. “NOT looking forward to the 4am starts but I guess I’d better get used to them, heh.” Unless Alana decides you don’t have to do them, Sophie thought to herself.
“They’re really tough in winter,” Sophie advised. “But you get over it quickly if you’re on a red route flight, hehe!”
“I bet!” Rachel chuckled. “Kinda wish I wasn’t so pale-skinned now, I could get a REALLY good tan in weeks, heh.”
“We’re not usually laid over THAT long,” Sophie advised. “Usually just long enough to get the plane turned around. Think the company aren’t keen on springing for hotels, heh. But you do get them occasionally, and they can be REALLY fun, heh!”
“Speaking of,” Rachel said, “what’ve you got planned for the weekend?” Sophie paused as she considered her response- she didn’t want to lie to Rachel, but at the same time she knew she couldn’t ‘blow her cover’ by telling her what she was really doing…
“Oh, just, you know, hanging out,” Sophie shrugged. “You?”
“Same,” Rachel replied. “Lucas is at work all weekend so I’ll probably just hang out at home tomorrow, Sunday… I’ve got no plans in the morning. None yet, anyway?”
“Wow, that was a subtle hint!” Sophie chuckled, before grimacing as she remembered her manager’s ‘advice’ from earlier in the week- if Alana didn’t want Rachel to go to her namesake’s pub, she’d certainly have something to say about her hanging out with Zoe and Natalie, considering how both women ended their employment with the airline. Then again, it was Rachel’s decision to make- and as Sophie was quick to remind herself, it wasn’t like she herself would be working for the airline for much longer.
“So…?” Rachel asked. “Should I dig out some of my old leotards this evening?”
“I’ll- I’ll talk to Zoe about it, I promise,” Sophie said. “There- there is kinda something you should know, though.”
“Umm, okay?” Rachel replied. “What’s- what is it?”
“Not here,” Sophie said, wary of being eavesdropped on. “Do- do you want to get a drink somewhere? Not, umm, not Rachel H’s pub, it’s busy tonight, but, like, a bar somewhere?”
“Ugh, kinda- kinda promised my parents I’d be home by six…” Rachel replied, her cheeks starting to redden. “And yes, I know how lame that sounds. Now I’m making proper money I am TOTALLY looking for my own place. Which, in London, will either be the size of a wardrobe or will involve sharing with fifty other people, heh.”
“Or three others,” Sophie said with a smug grin. “Not making any promises there either, but there’s a spare bed in our flat, and I’ve already talked to my flat mates and they wouldn’t be completely opposed to the idea.”
“Bet my mum would be!” Rachel retorted. “Speaking of, I’d better get home. Whatever it was you wanted to talk about, can we talk later?”
“Umm, sure,” Sophie said. “I- I’ll call you after dinner, this is kinda something we should talk about, you know, sooner rather than later.”
“Okay,” Rachel shrugged. “Talk later, see you Monday- or maybe before, hehe!”
“Yep, see you!” Sophie said with a smile and a wave as the petite blonde girl headed off. Sophie let out a quiet sigh as she headed toward the nearest tube station, and before long, she was back at her flat, where she found Amy curled up on the sofa, playing with her phone.
"Hey Soph," Amy said. "Good day with the padawan?"
"Yeah," Sophie shrugged. "How's Paige?"
"Getting better," Amy replied. "Still totally off her feet, as you can imagine, but looking better. Not got any colour back in her cheeks, but she's Paige, so you'd kinda expect that, heh! Only stuck around until lunch, though, she'd had a bit of a fight with Jessica in the morning, and at lunchtime they called each other and, well, I don't need to catch diabetes. Or an STD over the phone, which was on the cards if they'd gone on any longer."
"Yikes," Sophie replied. "You working tomorrow?"
"Yeah, Zurich," Amy replied. "We can't all be nine-to-fivers!"
"I'll think of you while I'm sleeping in," Sophie said with a smug grin as she headed into her bedroom. "Or while I'm heading to my parents'..."
After making a quick phone call, Sophie exchanged her smart pencil dress for a very slouchy, very comfortable grey turtleneck and pleated denim miniskirt, before laying back on her bed and letting out a long sigh. Within 24 hours, her face would be make-up free, a pair of loose jeans would be in place where her skirt was, and on her torso wouldn't be a turtleneck but a loose, smart shirt- and her chest would be totally flat. There was a part of her that couldn't wait to once again be 'James'- the person she 'really' was- but there was another part of her that wanted to get the time as 'James' over and done with as fast possible. Sophie's dilemma was that she genuinely didn't know which part of her was the largest...
"Ah!" Sophie yelped as her phone began to ring, snapping her out of her daydream. The brown haired woman smirked as she checked the caller ID- it was the call she'd been expecting. "Hi Rachel."
"Hi Soph!" The blonde haired girl replied. "You free?"
"Yep, not doing anything," Sophie replied. "I called Zoe a few minutes ago, she's okay with you coming along on Sunday morning, if you want."
"Oh my god no way!" Rachel excitedly squeaked.
"Now, you DO know there won't be any Angels there, right?" Sophie asked. "Not even Krystie, even though it is her school?"
"I know, I know," Rachel replied, trying her hardest to sound nonchalant. "But, you know, eventually, right?"
"Don't get your hopes up too high too quickly," Sophie cautioned. "And... You may not want to come along at all."
"Why wouldn't I?" Rachel asked. "I told you, I love dancing, I'd probably want to come along even without the Angel connection."
"Yeah..." Sophie grimaced. "It's kinda- kinda not that connection you should be concerned about. Zoe, the main teacher, and my Rachel, they kinda didn't leave the company on good terms. In fact, it wouldn't be going too far to say the company kinda hates them. Like, a lot."
"Right, and?" Rachel asked.
"Well, it's kinda the first rule of employment," Sophie sighed. "It's not what you know, it's who. I have it on fairly good authority you could go far in the company, and if you're seen associating with-"
"Oh- what?" Rachel snorted. "I can make my own friends, I don't need to be told who to hang out with!"
"I'm just passing on what I heard, don't shoot the messenger!" Sophie pleaded.
"Well- okay," Rachel sighed. "But you sounded just like my mum there for a second. She went on at me for ages about the friends I hung out with at secondary school AND most of my boyfriends too, reckoning I was too good to hang out with any of them."
"And too good to work as a trolley dolly?" Sophie asked, making her trainee giggle.
"Something like that, yeah," Rachel replied. "But I reckon she's coming round. You know, there are worse jobs I could do? She'd be a pretty crappy parent if she disowned me for something like that."
"Any parent would," Sophie said softly.
"Oh- god, Soph, I'm sorry..." Rachel moaned. "I- I keep forgetting... Sorry."
"S'okay," Sophie shrugged, her stomach churning at the thought of her inferred lie. "But anyway, yeah, Sunday morning you're fine to come along. If you REALLY want to."
"I really want to," Rachel said. "Is there or isn't there a saying that goes 'you can never have too many friends?"
"Yes there is, and yes I know who's credited with saying it," Sophie giggled. "I'll text you the details."
"Cool!" Rachel squeaked. "See you then, Soph!"
"Yep!" Sophie replied. "See you then..." As Sophie clicked off her phone, she laid back on her bed and let out a long sigh. Sunday morning was something to look forward to, seeing Rachel meet the rest of her friends, getting to know them and feeling smug about the fact that Rachel wouldn't have been there if it hadn't been for Sophie. Sure, Rachel could easily have been the trainee of someone like Amy or Hayley, or Abbey or Annabelle, or any of the other girls, but she wasn't. She was Sophie's trainee, and it was her responsibility for integrating her both at work and with the group. And within hours, 'Sophie' would, however temporarily, cease to exist. Sophie couldn't help but wonder how Rachel- or any of her friends- would react to that knowledge. More particularly, she wondered whether or not their reaction would be any better than her parents' reaction to the mere existence of 'Sophie'...
The following morning, after Amy and Hayley left for work, James got out of bed, combed back his long hair into an androgynous style, removed any trace of make-up or nail polish from his body and pulled on a pair of loose boxers shorts and black socks, followed by a plain grey t-shirt and a pair of old, comfortable jeans. He left the house without a handbag, carrying his wallet and his phone in the pockets of his light summer jacket, and a few short minutes later, he was ringing the doorbell of the house where he grew up.
"It's open, come on in!" James's mother said, making the young man smile nervously as he entered the house.
"Ah, hello son!" James's father said, giving the young man a firm handshake before returning to his chair and his copy of the Times. "Finally got time away from this project you're working on, then?"
"Yep!" James replied. "It's been going well, taking a long time though. Should be done in about three months."
"That's what you said six months ago!" James's mother reminded him as she set a warm mug of tea in front of him. "This must be a big story for you to still be working on it after nine months. I take it you're going to publish it as a book?"
"That's the hope," James replied. "Though I- I'm not sure you'll want a copy."
"Why wouldn't we?" Mr. Connolly asked. "You've worked hard on it, surely it deserves to be read?"
"Oh, I've definitely worked hard," James said. "But- but that's kinda why I came round early today, as I need to tell you something that I know you won't want to hear."
"What is it, James?" Mrs. Connolly asked, a look of concern spreading across her face. "Is it about the project?"
"Yep," James said. "I've never told you exactly where I'm working."
"I always assumed it was some kind of secret," Mr. Connolly replied. "Like you were some kind of spy or something. I didn't want to ask in case it jeopardised your work."
"Nothing like that," James said. "I am technically undercover, yes. Sort-of, anyway..."
"James?" Mrs. Connolly asked. "Whatever it is you need to tell us, you know we won't judge you." Well, we'll see, James thought with a sigh.
"For the last nine months," James said, taking a deep breath. "I've been working for... Soixante-Trois Airlines. As a flight attendant."
"...Oh," James's mother replied, her face falling slightly. "Is- is that the airline that hires-"
"Mostly transgendered stewardesses, yes," James said, fidgeting in his seat as his heart raced and he felt his stomach churn.
"...Well what's so bad about that?" Mr. Connolly asked with a shrug. "There are much worse places to be undercover, you could be a football hooligan, or one of Tommy Robinson's lot, or trying to infiltrate an ISIS cell or something."
"D- dad?" James asked.
"So you're dressing up as a stewardess, big deal," Mr. Connolly said as James felt a weight lift from his shoulders. "When the story's published, you won't have to ever do that again, right?"
"Umm- right," James said as he felt his heart sink again.
"It's not like you're REALLY having a sex change, right?" Mr. Connolly chuckled. "I hope you're getting plenty of material about those fruits!"
"I'm mostly, umm, investigating management," James mumbled.
"Well I'm sure it's very interesting work," Mrs. Connolly said. "And it does explain why you haven't had a haircut in forever! First thing you need to do after you publish your story is get it chopped as short as possible!"
"Of course!" James chuckled.
"As for today," Mrs. Connolly said, "we're going to make sure you can sit back, relax and enjoy being who you REALLY are for as long as possible before going back to work! When do you need to be back, anyway?"
"Mo- umm..." James replied as he thought carefully about his answer. On the one hand, he didn't need to be at the airport until Monday morning. But there was Rachel's debut at the Sunday morning dance class beforehand- and James, or rather, Sophie didn't want to miss that. Even if it meant dressing up in a leotard and a pair of tights. Or rather, especially as it meant dressing up in a leotard and a pair of tights...
"Tomorrow," James said defiantly. "I kinda- kinda live with a group of girls, and for the story I, well, need to 'integrate', and-"
"No, no, the less I need to hear the better!" Mr. Connolly chuckled, making James sigh internally. "Son, I can understand why you'd be nervous to tell us this. But it's not like you're really, REALLY pretending to be a woman, right?"
"Umm, right," James replied.
"It's just for a job!" James's father chuckled. "And god knows it's a job I couldn't do, so you do deserve to feel proud about all the work that you've put in. I'm sure it'll all be worth it in the end."
"And we will want a copy of the book, won't we?" James's mother asked.
"Oh, one each!" James's father said with a grin. "Signed by the very talented author, too!"
"That can probably be arranged," James said, forcing a smile on his face as internally, he screamed in frustration. His parents had accepted him as an undercover stewardess, but they hadn't accepted 'Sophie', and from their words, it was obvious that they never would.
Throughout the rest of the day, James answered questions about his life as a stewardess, going over the work that he did, the passengers he had to deal with and the management issues he was documenting. At no point was he asked about the friends he had made, or the way he spent his free time, or- and this was what James noticed the most- the name he used while working for the airline. Telling his parents about his work should've been the ultimate relief for James. Instead, if just caused him more stress.
When Sophie woke up on Sunday morning, she felt relieved and energised. She showered, applied her make-up, slithered into a pair of soft pink tights and a stretchy black leotard and felt ready for anything the world could throw at her. More importantly, however, she was stress-free. She knew that 'her' days were numbered, but that didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy them while they lasted. It also didn't mean that she had to accept that her days were numbered- just that the choice between 'James' and 'Sophie' would be harder than ever, and would have even bigger consequences than she'd previously anticipated.
But that was a worry for another day. Sophie had a ballet lesson to attend, and actively participate in, just like she would actively participate in training Rachel to be a stewardess, and actively participate in the shopping trip she and the rest of the class were going on after the end of the lesson. Sophie had 'gone native', she knew that, and she knew there was no turning back and no point being ashamed. She just wish that there was a way she could live her life without her parents being ashamed...
“Sophie…” The brown-haired woman heard a distant voice coo, waking her from her slumber. “Sophie… Wake up, birthday girl!”
“Umf,” Sophie moaned as a pair of soft hands gently shook her awake. “My birthday’s not ‘will Wednesday, for god’s sake…”
“Yes, but we’re all at work on Wednesday,” Amy retorted. “We’re all off today, so we’re celebrating NOW. As in NOW. So up and at ‘em, birthday girl!” Despite her tiredness, Sophie couldn’t help but giggle at her friend’s enthusiasm, especially when she opened her eyes to discover that both Amy and Hayley (who was also intruding into her room) were dressed in their traditional Sunday garb of a pair of soft pink tights and a clingy black leotard.
Less than half an hour later, after showering and ensuring that her body was free of hair below her eyebrows, Sophie was clad in the same tight, clingy and yet comfortable and familiar uniform, which she covered with a light summer dress and her favourite pair of cute black flats. To Sophie, it was a perfectly ordinary thing to do on a Sunday morning when she wasn’t working, and yet, if you’d told her just twelve months ago that this would be her new normal, she’d have looked at you in a state of utter disbelief.
Eleven months ago, when Sophie first transformed herself into the woman she would become, she imagined that the only effect it would have on her life would be that it’d give her a good story and undercover experience to put on her CV. She thought she could put on the clothes, take them off and be unchanged. And while that may be true of her body, it was far from true about her mind. The young man who’d formerly been known as James had grown to truly embrace ‘his’ new identity to the extent that ‘she’ could no longer imagine living her life without the possibility of becoming ‘Sophie’, even if only on a temporary basis.
However, for Sophie, that would be easier said than done. She had hoped that when she told her parents about her ‘double life’, it would make her life easier, when it in fact had the opposite effect. Rather than embrace their new daughter and help her with her gender identity issues, they saw ‘Sophie’ as a trivial side-effect of her work, something to be discarded without a second thought once the job had been completed- which, ironically, had been Sophie’s exact attitude mere months earlier.
To make matters more complicated, Sophie couldn’t rely on her friends for any additional support either, as while they unconditionally accepted Sophie as a transgendered woman, they were unaware of all the circumstances surrounding the start of Sophie’s ‘transition’, and Sophie didn’t dare tell them out of fear of being labelled a fraud and losing the only true friends she had ever had. The only confidantes Sophie had were her friends Rachel and Amelie, though they had their own lives to lead, and her counsellor, though that was only for one hour a week. Even the knowledge that Sophie only had one month left of her agreement with Rachel didn’t reduce her stress at living her double life, as not only couldn’t she imagine life without ‘Sophie’ in it, she couldn’t imagine her life without Amy or Hayley in it, or Rachel, Amelie, Natalie, Zoe or any of her other friends, or getting dressed as a ballerina and dancing with her friends every Sunday morning, or going shopping for cute new shoes with her friends…
“Bonjour, mademoiselles!” The grinning face of Zoe Renou-Briggs said as she welcomed the three young women into her dance studio. “Natalie! We shall be needing the tutu after all, hehe!” Sophie cringed as she heard this- she was all too aware of the significance of the tutu, having witnessed it in action several times over the prior few months.
“Oh- really, no,” Sophie feebly pleaded. “Not on my account…”
“Absolument on your account!” Zoe said as Amy and Hayley giggled excitedly. “And because I want to see what the last ten months of my teaching have done, hehe! It is just a pity that you are not yet ready for pointe shoes!”
“I’m ready though!” Amy interrupted, fluttering her voluminous false eyelashes at the Frenchwoman. “Pweeeease?”
“I shall decide when you are ready!” Zoe said firmly, sighing and giggling at the ginger woman’s deep pout. “But Mademoiselle Connelly is for sure ready AND overdue for wearing the tutu! Now come along, we shall get you fitted!” Sophie sighed and let out a giggle of her own as she followed Zoe into one of the dance studio’s rear rooms, where Zoe’s wife was waiting with the extravagant pink tutu. Sophie was excited to wear the tutu, of course, but was also stressed by what it represented, as that coming Wednesday wasn’t just her 24th birthday, but was also her 1st as ‘Sophie’.
362 days earlier, ‘James’ had celebrated his 23rd birthday in much the same way as his previous 22- waking up in ‘his’ parents’ home, opening presents that included shaving sets, a new pair of jeans and a new watch, before working from home on various articles ‘he’ was writing and enjoying a special dinner prepared by ‘his’ mother, and ending the day by going to the local pub for a pint with ‘his’ father. Much like 'his' previous birthdays, James didn't spend much time with his friends or colleagues, but Sophie was confident that would be very different when it came to celebrating her 24th birthday, and the cheers she got from her friends when she stepped into the dance studio at the end of a long lesson wearing the voluminous pink tutu was all the proof she needed.
“Swit-swoo!” Amy cheered as Sophie posed for the class. “Come on Connelly, shake that booty!”
“Do people usually twerk in a tutu?” Ellen teased, making her girlfriend giggle.
“I know I don’t,” Sophie pouted, before breaking down in a fit of giggles. “Ahh… Never imagined I’d ever wear anything like THIS, hehe!”
“I never doubted it,” Amy said confidently as she retrieved her phone from her dance bag and began filming the tutu-clad woman.
“Never doubted that you’d wear it or that Sophie would wear it?” Hayley asked.
“Oh, both, definitely both,” Amy replied, before falling silent along with the rest of the crowd as Zoe lowered the lights within the studio and pressed play on her iPod.
As the gentle classical music began, Sophie found herself moving along with it almost like she was on autopilot. The ten months of dance classes that Sophie had taken had transformed her from a creature with two left feet into a graceful ballerina, and Sophie resolved that no matter what happened, she would always try to find a way to dance with her friends on Sunday mornings. As she had that thought, however, another unwelcome thought wormed its way into Sophie’s mind- how she’d have to explain to her friends that as they got more and more feminine, her body wouldn’t change at all. This thought was reinforced when the dance ended and the lights were raised to reveal that two extra people had snuck into the studio while Sophie was dancing.
“Bravissimo!” Jessica cheered, applauding alongside her grinning fiancée.
“Guess who’s just spent a week flying back and forth to Rome, then?” Amy teased, giggling as the blonde American woman playfully stuck her tongue out at her. “Seriously, though, you were AWESOME, Soph!”
“Aww, thanks!” Sophie giggled girlishly. “I didn’t see you two come in?”
“Because you were too busy concentrating on dancing, of course?” Zoe asked with a smirk.
“Well, of course!” Sophie replied with a giggle.
“I think what Sophie means,” Amelie interjected, “is that should you not be busy planning the most beautiful wedding of the year?”
“Oh- trust me, we are,” Paige said. “Now that I’m just about back on my feet anyway, heh. Kinda hard planning a wedding in Scotland when you live in London and you’re not exactly mobile.”
“Though we did catch a bit of trouble when we flew out to Minnesota at the start of the month for our holiday,” Jessica chuckled. “Kinda got asked why Paige can fly long-range but can’t, say, work on flights to Dublin or Paris.”
“That is surely silly!” Amelie snorted. “Sitting on your ass on a flight is less stress than working, surely?”
“Try telling management that,” Paige snorted. “No, really, please do, coming from you…?” The Scottish girl giggled as the billionaire’s daughter just sighed and playfully rolled her eyes.
“Mademois- ahem, madames et mademoiselles,” Zoe announced, giggling as she flashed the gold band on her own left hand. “I must lock the studio now. We do not want people stealing this tutu, do we?”
“Especially not the birthday girl herself!” Hayley teased, giggling as Sophie began to blush.
“Come on, I’ll help you get changed,” Natalie chuckled as she gently placed her hand on the almost-giddy Sophie’s nearly-bare back.
A short while later, the young women were walking the short distance across London to the coffee shop where Natalie worked, all of them having changed from their dancewear into their street clothes. Much to Sophie’s surprise, she found herself on a comedown after changing back into her summer dress, almost like wearing the tutu had been some kind of high- which she was only too happy to accept that it was. As she and her friends chatted, Sophie found herself feeling more and more at ease, to the point where she almost forgot that ‘James’ had ever existed…
“…Disappointed, sure,” Natalie shrugged. “But it’s still further than England have ever got all the time I’ve been alive. Well, apart from 1996, but I was, like, three back then, and it was the Euros, not the World Cup, so it shouldn’t count, right?”
“And KDB didn’t get injured, that’s the most important thing,” Ellen interjected.
“I’m surprised you two are still following the World Cup,” Sophie teased the two northern women.
“I dunno,” Amy giggled. “I’m willing to bet that their BETTER halves have told them they’re now cheering for a different country?”
“Not on my account,” Amelie said, shaking her head. “I am not the football mad woman that either of the sisters are. Or that my father is, ugh.”
“He in Moscow then, I take it?” Natalie asked.
“And invited me and my brothers and sisters to go as well,” Amelie scoffed. “I will not go to a country that treats LGBT people so badly. Putin is a small man, no more than any other bully. And so is the orange-“
“No, please!” Paige chuckled from behind the group. “Still taking painkillers and they do NOT mix with booze!”
“Ah, you’re lucky we don’t serve alcohol this early at the shop,” Natalie chuckled. “And you DO know I’m going to be studying politics at university starting in September, right? This might be one of the last sober conversations we ever have, hehe!”
“Maybe we should solve the problem by changing the topic,” Jessica suggested with a confident grin. “Is Laura working today?”
“This weekend yes, next weekend no,” Natalie replied with a smirk. “This Friday coming’s her P-R-O-M, and she’s kinda worked up about it, heh.”
“Ah- yep,” Jessica giggled. “And I think we all know why, if prom over here is anything like it is back home, heh!”
“Really?” Natalie asked. “We’re gossiping about a sixteen year old’s sex life?”
“You would rather talk about ours?” Amelie asked, linking fingers with her girlfriend and giggling as Natalie pretended to retch.
“Eurgh- ew- no thank you!” Natalie spat, which only intensified Amelie and Ellen’s giggles.
“It is lucky I know this is because of your sister and not of homophobia,” Amelie said with a smug grin.
“She were just as bad after my prom,” Ellen teased as her sister sighed and shook her head. “Both of them, actually. Didn’t speak to me for a week after the Year 11 prom, after the Year 13 prom she were on me to let her wear my dress, hehe!”
“And I hope you let her!” Amy said. “Dunno whether or not they have prom in France but you might be the only person out of all of us that’s actually worn a prom dress!”
“It has started to become a thing in France,” Amelie explained. “Of course, at the school where I went, everyone's parents were so rich as to afford a formal dance by themselves. It was almost like what you would call a debutante ball. I felt like I was at a market.”
“At least you got to wear a dress for it,” Hayley sighed. “Nothing LESS comfortable than a full tuxedo in this weather. Or ever.” Sophie found herself nodding in agreement with her friend, though as she thought back to her own prom, she realised she only had fond memories of it.
Like Ellen, ‘James’ had attended two proms- one after finishing his GCSEs and one after his A-levels. The first prom, when he was sixteen, was little more than a glorified school disco, held in the school hall, but the second prom, when he was eighteen, was much more special than that. A hotel was booked, limousines were rented and the school spent hundreds of pounds on decorations and gifts, but all James wore was the same smart suit he’d worn to the first prom two years earlier. The girls, however, had gone all out- hair, dresses, make-up, nails, the works. At the time, James couldn’t understand why the girls- including his own at the time girlfriend- were getting so excited, but as Sophie listened to her friends’ tales of frustration and envy, she began to understand, and much to her surprise, began to feel twinges of envy herself. She also wondered what her ex-girlfriend would think if she could her the way she was dressed at that particular moment…
“…Hayley’s prom was a few weeks ago,” Jessica said, snapping Sophie out of her daydream. “Think my parents are in a state of shock that she’s already eighteen, heh. Gonna be heartbroken when she moves to Minnesota next month for college.”
“I sometimes wonder whether or not our Hayley is really over eighteen,” Amy teased, earning a playful shove from her brown-haired flat mate.
“Just for that, YOU can buy the wine for tonight, since I’m obviously not old enough!” Hayley pouted.
“Where is everyone watching the ga- erm, I mean, the match tonight?” Jessica asked.
“We shall be at Charlotte’s house,” Zoe replied with a smug grin. “With Bastille Day going yesterday I have convinced her to use blue decorations today, hehe!”
“Helps that neither of us have work tomorrow morning, heh!” Natalie said, chuckling as she earned jeers from those in the group who did have to work the following morning- a group that didn’t include Sophie. “Anyone else who’s not got an early morning tomorrow?”
“We’re both at work tomorrow,” Amy replied, gesturing to herself and Hayley. "Think 'little Rachel' is as well, hence why she wasn't at dance this morning."
“Miss Connelly, on the other hand…” Hayley teased, making the subject of her teasing blush.
“I still have an early morning tomorrow,” Sophie mumbled. “Got, umm, my counsellor first thing.”
“Meh, it’s not like you need to be up at 5am for that,” Natalie shrugged.
“Are you any closer to getting the magic medicine?” Paige asked with a smile, which caused Sophie to bite her lip nervously. “I mean hormones, obviously?”
“Oh- umm, not yet…” Sophie replied, her cheeks turning a bright red colour. “We, umm, we’re still- erm, this is, you know, kinda private?” And also never likely to happen, because I’ve been lying to you since day one, Sophie mentally continued.
“Oh- sure, I get it, I really do,” Paige said. “It’s not like I go around flashing my vagina at everyone now, heh!”
“Not EVERYONE,” Jessica teased as she wrapped her arm around her fiancée’s waist. “We’d be there tonight but Paris beckons for me tomorrow, heh. And no matter what happens tonight, that will NOT be a fun flight.”
“Kinda glad I’ve got Malaga tomorrow, heh,” Ellen chuckled.
“Athens here, so up extra early,” Amy chuckled as Sophie relaxed, happy that the spotlight was no longer on her and her ‘pretend transition’.
As much as she enjoyed her life as ‘Sophie’, the thought of taking medication to physical alter her body and her brain chemistry- or, worse yet, undergoing surgery- didn’t appeal to her. Natalie served as an example to Sophie that she didn’t need hormones in order to be as ‘real’ a woman as any of the other girls in the group. Sophie just wished she didn’t have to keep lying to her friends about ‘her’ true origins…
After the girls’ lunch at the coffee shop, Sophie, Amy and Hayley headed back to their flat, where the latter two women relaxed on their sofa while Sophie headed to her bedroom to get ready for her night out.
“I still can’t believe you let Natalie twist your arm so easily,” Amy teased.
“I still can’t believe you needed your arm twisting to go to a party at Charlotte’s!” Hayley giggled as Sophie sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Two nights in a row is a lot,” Sophie replied. “But I AM off work tomorrow, hehe!”
“It’s not so much ‘two parties in two nights’ that’s the issue,” Amy said with a smug grin, “but ‘three parties in five nights’, right Soph?”
“I’ve told you I don’t want a fuss made,” Sophie said with a long, heavy sigh. “I’d have hoped being at work Wednesday and Thursday would’ve dissuaded you from doing anything?”
“I’m off work Wednesday and Thursday,” Amy retorted.
“I’m off work all week apart from tomorrow,” Hayley giggled. “You are NOT getting away with this, Miss Connelly!”
“Doesn’t look like it,” Sophie sighed.
“I suppose I do kinda get why you’re a bit down on your birthday,” Hayley said. “’Cause it’s like, the first one without your parents, right?”
“Yep,” Sophie said with a genuine sigh- Hayley was right, but not for the reasons she thought.
“I know the feeling,” Hayley whispered.
“It just sucks that you two had to deal with that from your families,” Amy sighed. “Makes me appreciate just how lucky I was, you know? Though I still reckon my dad wishes he could, you know, have a beer and watch the match with me, like we did last time out.”
“Yeah,” Sophie sighed as she remembered back to four years earlier, when ‘James’ and his father had watched the final of the previous World Cup in a local pub.
“I doubt my dad would be interested in watching the final,” Hayley snorted, making Amy sigh and smile sympathetically.
“If it’s any consolation,” Amy sighed, “you’re far from the only person whose dad isn’t likely to watch football with them.” The three women all fidgeted uncomfortably and contemplated their family lives as an awkward silence filled the flat.
“…Wine?” Hayley suggested, instantly bringing a smile back to Amy’s face.
“Thought you’d never ask!” The ginger girl giggled, relaxing back onto the sofa as her young flat mate went to fetch a bottle and a corkscrew.
As Amy and Hayley drank their wine, Sophie mused on the conversation that they’d had, particularly the memory of how she and her father had watched the previous World Cup final together as father and son. Whilst Sophie knew that her father would understand why she couldn’t watch that night’s final with him, she still felt guilty, and a large part of her longed to scrub away the make-up, pull on a pair of jeans and head down to the pub with her dad- but a much larger part of her wanted to keep on the light dress she was wearing and to put on more make-up. With a sigh, Sophie reached into her handbag for her phone, and- after clearing her throat and trying to remember her ‘James’ voice- dialled her parents’ home number.
“Hello?” The unmistakable sound of Sophie’s father’s voice asked from the other end of the line.
“Hi dad,” ‘James’ replied.
“Oh, hello son!” Mr. Connolly said, audibly perking up at the sound of his only child’s voice. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I- umm, just wondering if you’ll be watching tonight?” James asked.
“Of course!” Mr. Connolly chuckled. “Should be a good match, even if it should be England in it instead of Croatia. Are you planning on watching it too?”
“Yep,” James replied. “I was- heh, I was remembering four years ago, when you took me down the pub to watch Germany-Argentina.”
“Yeah, that was a good night, even if it was a late one!” Mr. Connolly chuckled, before his voice grew considerably more sombre. “That’s probably not going to happen this year though, not with where you’re working now.”
“You know it’s only a short-term-“ James protested.
“Yes, I know, I know,” Mr. Connolly said. “Doesn’t mean I don’t miss watching football with my son, though!” No reason you couldn’t watch it with your daughter, Sophie thought to herself.
“And we will again,” James reassured his father. “Hell, the finals of the Euros in 2020 are at Wembley, we could even go watch it, you know, in person?”
“…That’d be nice,” Mr. Connolly said with a chuckle. “As long as you are appropriately dressed. Still can’t look at those photos you sent, of that party on Facebook…”
“Well- yeah,” James mumbled.
“Speaking of parties,” Mr. Connolly said, his mood perking up again, “What time will you be over on Wednesday?”
“Ah- umm, that’s- that’s another reason I called,” James mumbled. “I- I’m kinda, you know, working that day…”
“’Working’,” Mr. Connolly snorted. “Couldn’t even give you your birthday off to be yourself?”
“It’s just the way the shifts fall,” James semi-lied. “And I’m guessing you don’t want me to come around after work?”
“You guessed right,” Mr. Connolly snorted. “Thank god this ‘job’ of yours is only going to be for another month, eh?”
“Yep, you said it,” James replied with a forced chuckle. “I- I should be able to come by, umm, at the weekend?”
“I guess that’ll have to do,” Mr. Connolly sighed. “I’ll let your mother know. She’ll be disappointed, but she’ll understand, you’re a grown man, you have your own life to lead. Even if it isn’t really YOUR life.”
“Yep,” James said quietly. “I- I’ll see you around, dad.”
“See you around,” Mr. Connolly replied in a sad voice. “And as I won’t see you before, have as good a birthday as you can, son.”
“Sure,” James whispered. “Bye, dad.”
“Bye,” Mr. Connolly grunted, hanging up the phone and eliciting a long, slow moan from his child.
Sophie hated having to lie to her father, but knew that the alternative was much, much worse. As long as he believed that Sophie was simply undercover for a story, he wouldn’t be happy, but would at least be tolerant, but if he ever found out that Sophie harboured thoughts of living life as a woman after finishing her expose? Sophie shuddered at the prospect. It wasn’t a problem she had to face immediately, but the deadline for her story was coming up fast, and she knew that if she asked Rachel for another extension, she would get suspicious- but not as suspicious as her parents. However, even they wouldn’t be as suspicious as Amy and Hayley would be if Sophie were to suddenly disappear from their lives…
With a sigh, Sophie pulled on her favourite light denim jacket, grabbed her handbag and left the flat, bound for the nearest tube station. She still had several weeks to go and was determined to enjoy all of them- even her birthday, despite the fact that she knew she’d be more stressed on that day than any others…
“Bienvenue!” Charlotte giggled as she opened the door of her vast mansion and invited Sophie inside.
“Merci!” Sophie giggled. “Thanks for the invite tonight, heh.”
“My pleasure,” Charlotte said. “Any friend of Nat’s is a friend of mine. Because, of course, you can…?”
“Never have too many friends!” Sophie giggled in response, even as her stomach churned at the prospect of revealing her ‘true self’ to her friends.
However, as Sophie entered the vast main room of the house, she found herself almost instantly relaxing as she realised that the men and women present were indeed her friends. No one had forced them to make friends with her, they’d done so of their own free will. Even millionaire celebrities like Charlotte Hartley were only too happy to welcome Sophie into their home. Sophie wondered whether or not they’d be so willing to accept ‘James’…
Sophie stayed at the party until late in the evening, arriving back at her flat long after Amy and Hayley had gone to bed. Sophie was still asleep the following morning when her flat mates left the house to travel to work, taking care not to disturb the sleeping woman as they left.
“Last day before a week of freedom, then?” Amy teased her younger flat mate, who rolled her eyes in response.
“A heard-earned week of freedom!” Hayley replied with a smug grin. “And it’s not like you don’t have two weeks booked off in September!”
“Feel likes centuries away, September,” Amy sighed. “Especially in this heat! God, I am SO glad I’m losing weight and don’t need this corset doing up so tightly…”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Hayley spat. “Thank god it’s Brussels today and not somewhere like Malaga."
"Though after Saturday, it still won't be fun," Amy snorted.
"Ugh, true," Hayley sighed. "At least it's a short flight."
“Yeah, gotta feel sorry for the girls on grey route,” Amy sighed. “Thank god they don’t fly there from London.”
“Not that either of us would be able to, anyway,” Hayley said, making her flat mate smirk.
“Who’d have thought that having the wrong genitals could be a good thing?” Amy giggled. “So… Got anything planned for the rest of the week?”
“Oh- I dunno,” Hayley shrugged. “Just, you know, hanging around…”
“Umm… Hayley?” Amy said, a concerned look spreading across her face. “Are- are you okay? ‘Cause I’ve lived with you for a year now, I kinda know when you’re not telling me the whole story…”
“What?” Hayley protested. “I just haven’t made any plans yet, that’s all. I had the leave available, and I had to use it by the start of August or I’d have lost it, you know?”
“Fair enough,” Amy shrugged, taken aback by her friend’s sudden defensiveness.
“And it’s not like you haven’t had your ‘mysterious trips’,” Hayley sniped. “Such as last Christmas?”
“I said ‘fair enough’, okay?” Amy protested, bristling at the mention of her own ‘secret trip’. “Jeez, sor-ry!”
“…No, I’m sorry,” Hayley sighed. “But- but it IS private, you know?”
“Oh- believe me, I know,” Amy sighed. “I won’t bring it up again, I promise.”
“Thanks,” Hayley whispered.
“But if you DO need to talk, you know I’ll listen, right?” Amy asked.
"Of course," Hayley whispered.
"And make sure you're back in time for Sophie's birthday!" Amy playfully cautioned, even though her friend's body language made it clear she wasn't interested in 'playing'.
“Sure,” Hayley mumbled, though secretly, she had no intention of telling Amy, or anyone else, what she had planned for her week off- even though she knew they would support her in her decision.
Two months earlier, Hayley had received the shock of her life when she logged on to Facebook to find a friend request waiting for her from a person called ‘Denise Fisher’. Hayley had never known anyone by the name of ‘Denise Fisher’, and it took Hayley several seconds to realise that the name was suspiciously similar to ‘Dennis Fisher’, her father’s name- and the face in the profile picture looked suspiciously similar to her father as well.
Hayley had almost dropped her phone when the revelation dawned on her that the friend request was indeed from the parent she’d not heard from in almost six years. Hayley had wasted no time in accepting the friend request, and mere seconds later she received a message.
‘Hello Hayley,’ the message read, making the young woman’s heart skip a beat despite its plainness.
‘Hi,’ Hayley replied, typing and deleting the word ‘dad’ a dozen times before finally sending the message.
‘How are you doing?’ Denise asked. ‘I see you’re working as a flight attendant now? That must be exciting!’
‘Yeah,’ Hayley replied as a million questions swam through her head. Why did Denise wait so long to make contact? Had she tried, but not been able to? How did she know about Hayley’s transition?
‘I can tell you’re surprised by my making contact,’ Denise typed, making Hayley snort with laughter.
‘Just a bit,’ Hayley replied.
‘I wouldn’t blame you for being angry at me,’ Denise typed. ‘I’m sure you have a million questions you want to ask me, but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you, or your brother. And I’m sure you must understand why I did what I had to do.’
‘If I’m honest I was almost ready to come out myself before you did,’ Hayley typed after a long pause. ‘If it hadn’t been for mum having a fit I probably would’ve done. And I don’t hate you dad.’ Hayley hesitated before sending the message, wondering how Denise would react to being called ‘dad’ for what would have been the first time in six years. Would she see it as an unwelcome reminder of the gender she struggled with for so long, or would she see it as a welcome reminder that no matter what gender she lived as, she would always be Hayley’s parent?
‘That’s good to hear,’ Denise replied, eliciting a sigh of relief from her daughter.
‘Where are you living now?’ Hayley asked. ‘Still in Nottingham?’
‘Had to move after I came out,’ Denise explained. ‘To get away from your mother’s family. I’m now living in Bristol.’
‘I’m in London,’ Hayley replied, before painstakingly composing her next message one letter at time. ‘Don’t usually get the chance to get away much, but I’d like to meet up with you some time.’
‘I’d like that too,’ Denise typed, followed by a smiling emoji that made Hayley giggle.
Over the following few weeks, the two women regularly communicated on Facebook, filling each other in on the goings-on in their lives and trying to reconnect as parent and child. Eventually, a free week of leave became available, which Hayley eagerly snapped up, and plans were made for her to visit Bristol to see her parent face-to-face for the first time in what felt like forever.
Hayley tried to shake off her nerves about her impending reunion as she served her customers on their flight from England to Belgium, but every time she saw a family travelling together, she felt herself tense up. Their Facebook conversations were all well and good, but Hayley wondered if she’d have anything to say to Denise- or if she’d end up driving her away yet again…
“Ah, good morning, Sophie!” Dr Phillips said as the brown-haired woman walked into her office, dress in her usual attire of tight hipster jeans, a skinny t-shirt and fashionable low-heeled ankle boots. “I trust it was a good night last night?”
“Yeah, not bad, thanks,” Sophie replied with a smile. “Didn’t drink too much as I knew I was getting up early today.”
“My daughter and her wife could learn from you,” Dr Phillips said with a tired chuckle as she glanced at the picture of the two brides that took pride of place on her desk. “It's one of the 'husband and boyfriend's birthday today so Nikki will be up a lot earlier than she'd want to be, heh. On a not unrelated note, are you looking forward to Wednesday?”
“…I’m glad you brought that up,” Sophie said with a tired chuckle as she sat down on one of the office’s comfortable chairs. “It’s kinda what I mainly want to talk about today.”
“I had a feeling it might be,” Dr Phillips said. “Birthdays can be especially stressful for transgendered people, especially your first birthday in your new gender.”
“Even if it’s also my last birthday in the new gender?” Sophie asked. “Because, umm, I’m probably not going to be ‘Sophie’ this time next year, not, umm…”
“I knew what you meant,” Dr Phillips said with a sympathetic smile. “Though I’m still not entirely convinced you will be ‘James’ this time next year.”
“…No, me neither,” Sophie conceded with a heavy sigh. “But it’s been, you know, on my mind a lot lately, for obvious reasons.”
“You’re almost at the end of your ‘deal’ with Rachel,” Dr Phillips said with a nod. “Have you thought about what you’ll do once you’ve finished your story and handed it over to her?”
“A little, maybe,” Sophie sighed. “I mean, I DO still have this job- well, until they find out I wrote the expose, anyway. Though I could always see if Rachel wanted to publish it in her name?”
“It’s funny you’re thinking of ways to remain with the airline,” Dr Phillips mused. “I would have thought you would want to find a way to advance your career in journalism, and the expose would be the perfect way to do that?”
“It- well, yes, it would,” Sophie said. “But the airline, umm, pays a lot better than I ever earned as a freelance journalist, and it’s not THAT bad a workplace…”
“Even the uniform?” Dr Phillips asked, smiling sympathetically as Sophie bit her lip. “Like I’ve told you countless times, there is nothing wrong in feeling the way you’re feeling.”
“Even though my main feeling is that I feel like a fraud?” Sophie asked.
“In what way do you feel fraudulent?” Dr Phillips asked.
“My parents think I’m just being female for a job, nothing more,” Sophie replied. “My friends think this is who I really am, that I’ve left ‘James’ in the past, never to return.”
“And what do you think?” Dr Phillips asked. “That’s the most important thing of all.”
“I- I don’t even know what I think,” Sophie moaned. “James, Sophie… Some days it’s like they’re the same person, some days one is completely alien to the other.”
“Then let me rephrase the question,” Dr Phillips said. “What do you want? Where- or rather, who- do you want to be twelve months from now? And don’t answer ‘I don’t know’. Give me the first answer that comes into your head- who do you want to be this time next year?”
“I want-“ Sophie said, before sighing. “I want to have the choice to be either ‘James’ or ‘Sophie’.”
“And that’s fine,” Dr Phillips said reassuringly. “Being bigendered or gender fluid is just as valid as being transgendered.”
“But,” Sophie continued, “I also want my parents and my friends to accept my choice- or even that I have a choice.”
“Well, I admit that’s easier said than done,” Dr Phillips conceded. “And I can see how your birthday will be a stressful time, with both family and friends wanting to celebrate with you.”
“Amy and Hayley have threatened to throw me a party,” Sophie chuckled. “Part of the reason I’m working Wednesday and Thursday, trying to avoid the problem.”
“But you don’t know for sure that you’ll be rejected by everyone if you tell them the truth,” Dr Phillips said.
“I can be pretty sure about my dad, the comments he’s been making,” Sophie snorted. “It’s clear he’s disappointed in me even for, you know, ‘pretending to pretend’. If he found out I actually liked this?”
“Then how about your friends?” Dr Phillips asked. “They know you’re not on HRT and identify as bigendered, right?”
“Well- yes,” Sophie mumbled. “But how am I meant to tell them that the only reason I’m ‘Sophie’ is because I’m spying on them to write a book?”
“But is that the only reason, though?” Dr Phillips asked. “It may have been to begin with, and if you had no intention of remaining as ‘Sophie’, then you could simply walk away without any regrets. But the fact that you want to stay as ‘Sophie’- even if only on a part-time basis- should be enough proof to your friends that you’re sincere, shouldn’t it?”
“Well- maybe, I guess?” Sophie whined. “The fact is though, I never cross-dressed before ‘Sophie’ began. Never even thought about it, and the only reason ‘Sophie’ began was to get dirt on the airline.”
“You’d be surprised how many transwomen get their start the exact same way,” Dr Phillips said softly. “Many of whom start HRT and some of whom even go ‘all the way’- not that that means you should feel obliged to, of course.”
“Well- okay,” Sophie mumbled. “Are- are you suggesting I like, make some big announcement at my party or something?”
“I wouldn’t say THAT exactly,” Dr Phillips replied, “but if you tell them calmly, rationally, I’m sure they’ll understand.”
“And if they don’t?” Sophie asked.
“Then you have to question whether or not they were ‘true’ friends to begin with,” Dr Phillips said, sitting back in her chair and adding to her notes.
Sophie left the counselling session 45 minutes later with a lot on her mind. As always, Dr Phillips’s advice had been wise, but Sophie still felt as far from a decision as she had been at the start of the day. As the counsellor repeatedly reminded Sophie, her job wasn’t to do her thinking for her, but to guide her into making her own mind up. And while Sophie logically felt that coming clean to her friends was the right move, there was still a little voice at the back of her mind going through all the worst case scenarios.
Sophie was lost in thought as passed through the waiting area en route to the office’s exit, so much so that she was almost at the door when she realised that one of the women in the waiting area was calling her name- and that the woman in question was none other than the famous singer Stephanie Abbott.
“Sophie?” Stephanie asked, confused by the brown-haired flight attendant’s apparent daydream. “Hey, Sophie, you okay?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied, confused why someone as rich and famous as Stephanie would want to talk to her. “Umm, sorry Steph, I was miles away…”
“Yeah, you looked it!” Stephanie chuckled. “Though to be fair I have a lot to think about after every time I see Beverly, heh. You got a sec?”
“Umm- sure!” Sophie chuckled. “Got nowhere else to be, heh!”
“I’ll try not to take that personally!” Stephanie giggled. “But you looked REALLY lost in thought there, is- is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied, before sighing. “Not really… Kinda- kinda got a tough choice coming up soon.”
“Ugh, had my fair share of those,” Stephanie said with a tired laugh. “One piece of advice: do NOT try running away from your problems. They always catch up with you in the end.” Sophie nodded as she remembered the stories she’d read about Stephanie’s prior struggles with her mental health- and the anecdotes she’d heard from those who had witnessed it firsthand.
“Wasn’t planning to,” Sophie replied. “Even if I do have access to aircraft going everywhere in Europe, heh.”
“SO glad I didn’t,” Stephanie said with a snort of laughter.
“So you’re happy with the way things worked out?” Sophie asked.
“…Yes,” Stephanie replied after a few seconds’ thought. “On the whole, things definitely worked out for the best. Though it’s easy to say that, being rich and famous, heh. My only regret is that I wasn’t honest to my friends and family from the very start. Would’ve saved a LOT of headaches if I was.”
“Yeah,” Sophie mumbled, her mind wandering again as the door at the end of the corridor opened and her counsellor poked her head out.
“Looks like this is me,” Stephanie chuckled. “See you around, Soph- and sorry we can’t make it on Wednesday, got a TV appearance the next say so, well, yeah.”
“Wednesday?” Sophie asked.
“Umm, your birthday?” Stephanie giggled. “You really DO have a lot on your mind, heh!”
“I guess,” Sophie shrugged, standing and exchanging a gentle hug with the famous singer as they went their separate ways.
Sophie contemplated both Dr Phillips’s and Stephanie’s advice on her way home. She and Stephanie had been in a similar situation, but the big difference was that unlike Stephanie, Sophie had nothing to lose by coming out to her friends. The expose would still get published, Sophie’s journalism career would still continue and she’d still have the love and respect of her parents. And as Dr Phillips had pointed out, anybody who rejected her couldn’t call themselves a ‘true’ friend. Though as Sophie considered her options, she realised that she didn’t have many other friends, ‘true’ or otherwise- and she certainly didn’t have another family to fall back on in case her parents rejected her ‘real’ coming out…
The following morning, Sophie and Amy left the house early clad in their smart dresses and heels, ready for another day of hard work in the skies above Europe. Unbeknownst to them, however, their flat mate, who they assumed was still asleep, was already awake and impatiently waiting for the two women to leave so that she could sneak out unnoticed. As she heard the front door close, Hayley let out a long sigh and slid out of bed, heading to the bathroom for a quick shower before returning to her room, opening her wardrobe and sighing again.
The last time Hayley’s father had laid eyes on her, she had been a skinny fourteen year old boy named ‘Harry’ who showed no outward signs of being ‘different’ in any way. Six years later, Hayley was a beautiful young woman, still slender but with fledgling curves following four months of hormone replacement therapy. As she looked at a photo of herself from 2012, Hayley mused on how even her face seemed to change, to the point that she barely recognised herself- and she worried whether or not her father would recognise her either. However, Hayley was determined to meet her father as the person she was, the person she wanted to be, not the boy she was or a mixture of the two genders.
Hayley began by applying a full layer of make-up- dusky pink eye shadow, thick mascara and eyeliner and light red lipstick. After pulling on a soft cotton bra and panties, Hayley opened her wardrobe and sighed. She had countless options, all of which seemed inappropriate somehow. A short skirt would be too provocative. Jeans would be too androgynous. A long skirt would be too old a look...
Realising that she'd need to wear something to the reunion, Hayley picked out a pleated skirt that came to mid-thigh and a lilac t-shirt that didn't show off too much of her figure, complemented by a pair of low-heeled knee-high boots and several of her favourite bangles.
Satisfied with her look- but still nervous about how she’d be received by her father- Hayley left the flat and headed to the nearest tube station, both grinning and grimacing at the level of male attention she got along the way. Before long, she was at Paddington station, ready to board the train that would take her to the reunion she’s dreamed about for so long…
“Hey you two!” The ever-friendly voice of Rachel Lyscombe said as she saw Amy and her mentor walk through the entrance of the locker room at Heathrow Airport. “Long time no see, hehe!”
“What, three days?” Amy teased, giggling as the blonde girl rolled her eyes.
“You know what I mean,” Rachel scoffed. “Gutted I missed ballet AGAIN.”
“You’re off this coming Sunday, right?” Amy asked. “Can dust off your pointe shoes then.”
“Yeah,” Rachel replied, “But I REALLY wanted to see the birthday girl dance in a tutu, hehe!”
“There’s always next year,” Amy teased as Sophie’s cheeks began to redden.
“True,” Rachel giggled. “So… Are we all ready for tomorrow, then?”
“Amy might be, I’m not sure I am,” Sophie replied, smiling as her response earned her a gentle hug from Rachel.
“Aww,” Rachel said. “It should be a cause for celebration, right? You know, first birthday as ‘Sophie’?”
“It’s never always THAT easy,” Amy advised the blonde girl. “And in this particular case, you have kinda struck a nerve.”
“Ah,” Rachel grimaced. “So, umm… Where- where’s everyone off to today?”
“Belgium again,” Amy replied. “Got Sophie as my ‘wing-girl’ today instead of Hayley, heh. You?”
“Dublin,” Rachel replied. “Both got pretty easy ones, then?”
“Ooh, look who’s getting confident all of a sudden,” Amy teased, making Rachel sigh and blush. “Sure you can make it all the way to Ireland without miss mentor here holding your hand?”
“Oh- shut up,” Rachel giggled. “Haven’t even been on the same flight as Sophie in two weeks.”
“Rachel’s really got the hang of it well,” Sophie explained. “So much so that she may be taking on her own trainee next month…”
“You shut up as well!” Rachel chuckled as she checked her make-up, before straightening her skirt pulling on her blue pillbox hat. “Well? Am I ready to fly?”
“Ireland won’t know what’s hit it!” Sophie chuckled.
“And not just ‘cause they’re all drunk!” Amy said with a giggle as the blonde girl left the locker room. “…Getting her own trainee after only just finishing training herself?”
“I did say that management liked her,” Sophie shrugged. “Something for that diary of yours?” Which I’m all but hoping to plagiarise for my expose, Sophie thought to herself.
“Yep,” Amy replied as she and Sophie began to change into their royal blue uniforms.
“And I’m serious when I say don’t make a fuss of the party,” Sophie said, sighing as Amy giggled.
“Yeah, don’t- well, actually, DO hold your breath, because the party will take it away, hehe!” Amy replied with a devilish grin.
“Even after what you said to Rachel?” Sophie retorted.
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Amy conceded. “But that’s kinda the point, isn’t it? You’ve told me that this’ll be the first birthday you haven’t spent with your parents. If we leave you to yourself, you’ll be moody, depressed… So we need to help take your mind off that and celebrate the fact that yes, it is your birthday, and most importantly, you are worth celebrating, Sophie. The ‘glue in team ASH’, right?”
“I dunno,” Sophie mumbled.
“Well I DO,” Amy said. “Isn’t this what friends are for? Not just people to have fun with, but people who you can always rely on for support?”
“Well- yes, okay, you’re right,” Sophie said with a happy sigh.
“Damn right I am,” Amy said. “And I really do hope that I’ll always be able to call Sophie Connelly my friend.”
“I hope that too,” Sophie whispered, even as she wondered whether or not Amy would say the same thing about ‘James Connolly’…
Hayley checked her phone for the umpteenth time as she sat outside the packed coffee shop, both checking the time and that she had the right location. Her right leg jiggled uncontrollably as she waited for her father’s arrival, wondering whether or not she’d been stood up, or whether her father had met with an accident- or worse yet, she’d run into a group of people who aren’t as accepting of a transgendered woman, especially an older one…
“H- Hayley?” The brown-haired girl heard a voice ask, causing her to freeze. It wasn’t exactly the voice she remembered- it was softer and more feminine, but it was unmistakably the voice of her father.
“D- dad?” Hayley whispered, standing up and looking the newcomer in the face. To anyone looking in from the outside, Denise was just like any other middle-aged woman, dressed in a modest calf-length summer skirt, a short-sleeved blouse and low heeled shoes. Her shoulder-length hair framed her delicately made-up face, and Hayley had to look closely to confirm that yes, this was indeed her father standing in front of her- and much to her surprise, when she looked into Denise’s eyes, Hayley could see that she was just surprised by the change in her appearance.
“Hi…” Denise said awkwardly.
“H- hi,” Hayley replied, a tear forming in the corner of her eye. A quiet, emotional moment passed between the two women as they examined each other, before leaning in for a tight, heartfelt hug.
“I- I can’t believe it’s really you,” Denise sniffed as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Me either,” Hayley said, crying just as much as the other woman. “Oh my god, I promised myself I’d be cool, heh!”
“Yeah,” Denise mumbled. “I- I think we’re kinda making a scene, heh!”
“Oh my god,” Hayley muttered in embarrassment as she looked around at the other bemused diners, before sitting back down in her chair, her cheeks reddened with embarrassment.
“You know,” Denise sighed, I think that might be the first time you’ve hugged me since you started primary school?
“Wha- no, can’t be?” Hayley replied.
“Well, first time you willingly hugged me,” Denise chuckled. “I- I still can’t believe it’s really you. You look so different to when I last see- and not just in the obvious way- but it is so obviously you.”
“Yeah,” Hayley whispered. “Have- have you spoken to mum, Lucy or Dylan at all? In, like, the last six years, I mean?”
“No,” Denise replied, biting her lip to try to control her emotions. “Your mother made it very clear she never wants to talk to me again, and what’d happen if I tried to call her or your brother.”
“Yeah, she pretty much said the same thing to me,” Hayley sighed. “Threatened me with violence if I ever even set foot in Nottingham again.”
“Ugh, Denise spat. “But- but you’re okay in London, right? You seem happy in your messages, and in your Facebook photos…”
“Yeah,” Hayley replied. “Got a good job, got loads of friends- even a few rich and famous ones, heh.”
“But…?” Denise asked.
“But…” Hayley said with a low moan. “It’s no substitute for family. It’s NEVER a substitute for family.”
“No it isn’t,” Denise sighed, before gently squeezing the younger woman’s hand. “But you don’t need to feel alone anymore.”
“Thanks,” Hayley whispered.
“You know,” Denise said hesitantly, “when I first found your Facebook profile and saw that you’d, well, ‘changed’, I- I was shocked. I genuinely was.”
“Really?” Hayley asked. “You didn’t think, like, ‘like father, like son’?”
“Never,” Denise replied. “Not even while you were growing up did I even suspect. Probably because I was too obsessed with my own ‘change’, heh.”
“How- how long had you felt, well, ‘different’?” Hayley asked.
“All my life,” Denise replied. “Earliest I can remember feeling ‘different’ is when I was six. Which was forty-five years ago.”
“Jeez,” Hayley whispered.
“Yeah,” Denise said. “And as you can imagine, 1973 wasn’t exactly a friendly time for transgendered people. Huh, not like 2018 is all that better when you look at some people.”
“Ugh, so true,” Hayley spat.
“I thought hiding the ‘real’ me would get easier as I got older, but in fact, the opposite was true,” Denise said in an increasingly emotional voice. “In a way I’m glad you came out when you were as young as you were, to save you from the years of stress and anxiety.”
“Yeah…” Hayley chuckled. “If I was still ‘Harry’ god knows what state I’d be in at this point.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Denise said, a sad smile spreading across her face. “Because I- I kinda, umm, kinda blamed myself for you being, well, you. When I first found you on Facebook, I- I almost had a panic attack. I mean, you hear about it all the time, children seeking to emulate a disappeared dad…”
“Trust me, you have NOTHING to feel guilty about,” Hayley said softly. “I- I actually felt like it was my fault that you left, I mean, when you did, like maybe you’d seen something inside me, I dunno.”
“Oh- really?” Denise asked. “Why would you ever think that?”
“Because I was fourteen and dumb,” Hayley shrugged. “I dunno.”
“And you’ve been carrying that around all this time?” Denise asked, blinking back tears. “Oh god, Hayley…”
“I know, I know…” Hayley sobbed as tears began to flow from her eyes. “I- I dunno, it’s just-“
“I understand,” Denise said, squeezing Hayley’s hand even tighter. “And I want you to know that I’m here for you, any time you need me, 24/7, because that’s what a parent should do.”
“Thanks-” Hayley sniffled, before giggling. “Umm, do I call you ‘dad’? I mean, is that too-“
“You can call me whatever you want,” Denise said with a smile as she and her daughter began to relax for the first time since seeing each other face to face.
Hayley remained in Bristol until late in the evening, only arriving back at her home in London just after midnight following a tearful farewell with her parent, a promise that they’d meet again- and another promise that together, they would try to rebuild the family fractured by their decisions to come out. As she laid in bed, Hayley felt her mind race as she thought about the possibilities- for so long, she’d effectively been an orphan, but now she not only had a parent, but a parent she could share literally everything with. For the first time in a long while, Hayley found herself looking forward to the future.
The same, however, could not be said of Sophie, who on the morning of her birthday, woke up, got dressed and left the flat before either of her flat mates were even awake. In a way, Sophie felt a sense of disappointment at not being able to celebrate her birthday with her friends, but she also felt relief that she could put off having to tell them the truth about herself- even if she knew she was only delaying the inevitable.
Sure enough, when Sophie opened the front door or her flat after a long day flying back and forth to Ireland, she was greeted by the sight of all of her friends and colleagues clad in their best party dresses and a loud cheer of ‘happy birthday’ that made her shriek with excitement.
“Oh my god, you guys!” Sophie sighed happily as Amy and Hayley draped a sash that read ‘birthday girl’ over her shoulders, thrust a glass of champagne into her hand and led her to the centre of the room, where a large pile of presents- all wrapped in shiny pink paper- and a large pink cake with the number ‘24’ on it in bright red icing.
“You said ‘don’t make a fuss’,” Amy said with a smug grin. “So we decided to completely ignore that request, hehe!”
“Everybody should have a family to celebrate their birthday with,” Hayley said softly. “Even if it isn’t a flesh and blood one, heh.”
“Thanks,” Sophie chuckled as she felt a large pang of guilt gnaw away at her chest.
“Go on then, get opening!” Anna-Jade giggled as she sipped her champagne. With fingers trembling with nerves and anxiety, Sophie obeyed, unwrapping presents including new pairs of shoes, make-up kits, dancewear (from Zoe), candles... All things a 24 year old woman would love to receive as birthday presents. Outwardly, Sophie was extremely grateful for the thought that had been put into the gifts, and inwardly, she was loving it as well- though she also knew that with every second that passed, she’d feel more and more guilty about accepting the gifts under what she considered to be false pretenses.
“Speech!” Paige called from the back of the room, making Sophie sigh- but also making her smile as it presented her with the opportunity to get off her chest what had been weighing on her not just for the previous few days, but for the prior eleven months.
“Okay,” Sophie said, taking a deep breath. “Thank you all for coming, and for the presents, it really means a lot to me.”
“Come on,” Abbey teased. “You can do better than that…”
“If you insist,” Sophie sighed, before sitting down as her legs started to turn to jelly- an action that brought a look of concern to her friends’ faces. “Though you may not like what I have to say.”
“Why wouldn’t we?” Amy asked, frowning in confusion.
“…Because I’ve not been entirely honest with all of you,” Sophie sighed, scanning the room and nodding as her eyes met with those of Rachel Harrison- the woman who had started Sophie down the path she was on. With a nod from Rachel, Sophie continued. “As you know, I started work for the airline last August. What you don’t know is why I started. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the tutu project, right?”
“Given that everyone in this room is a member, I'd say so," Jessica said, concerned by the sudden serious turn the party had taken.
"I-" Sophie began, before sighing. "I'm not REALLY a flight attendant. Stewardess. Whatever. I studied journalism at university, and I'm an undercover journalist. I'm getting dirt on the company to publish an expose, the idea being that it'll improve working conditions or something, I dunno. And... I- I'm not actually transgendered." Sophie grimaced as this final revelation earned gasps from virtually everyone present in the room. "I- I mean yes, I am biologically male, but I'm pretending to be female- and I actually mean 'pretend' as in 'pretend', not like- well, umm, you know... I- I never even cross-dressed before starting with-"
"What Sophie means," Rachel H said, stepping forward to save the distraught girl's blushes, "is that she never meant to deceive anyone, but is just doing a job- a job I asked her to do."
"You knew about this?" Paige asked. "Well I suppose, as she's your cousin- assuming that's not a lie as well?"
"It is a lie," Rachel whispered. "I needed an outsider's perspective on everything. It was only going to be for six months, but Sophie asked me for another six months this February just gone. Next month will be a year, and we'll review the situation from there."
"And- and the reason I asked for six more months," Sophie mumbled. "Is- is because I- I love this. And I love you guys. The more I was 'Sophie', the more I loved it, not just the clothes and make-up, but the whole, you know, 'sisterhood'..."
"Are you really estranged from your parents?" Hayley asked.
"...No," Sophie whispered, blinking back a tear. "They- they know about 'Sophie', but they only think it's for a job, they don't know the truth."
"And what is the truth?" Amy asked. "The real, honest truth?"
"That- that I don't ever want there to be a time in my life when I can't be 'Sophie'," the birthday girl replied. "That I want to have the chance to be Sophie for as long as I want, even if I'm not working for the airline, or working on a story, or- or hanging out, umm, with all of you..."
"...Well, I think my mind's made up," Amy sighed. "Let's make it a show of hands, shall we? Hands up all those who no longer want to consider Sophie their friend." Sophie felt tears form in her eyes and her cheeks burn as she pointed her face toward the floor, not looking up out of fear of what she might see.
"Hey," Rachel H whispered to the birthday girl after what seemed like an eternity. "Look up." Slowly, Sophie raised her head and looked at the assembled crowd, all of whom had wide grins on their faces... And none of whom had their hands raised.
"Wh- what?" Sophie feebly asked.
"Sophie," Jessica said softly as she sat down next to the trembling girl. "You think you're the only person in this room who came to Soixante-Trois only to find something they didn't expect? I think just about everyone in this room can say the same, genetic girls included. If you were 'just an undercover reporter', you wouldn't have come out to all of us like that, you'd have taken the money and left as soon as you could. The fact that you're still here shows there's a bit more 'Sophie' in you than even you think."
"And when you want to properly come out to your parents," Hayley said, "you'll have an entire ARMY backing you up, right?"
"Yeah!" Everyone in the room cheered, bringing a wide, genuine smile to Sophie's face.
"Coming out is the hardest thing anyone can do," Amy said. "That took guts. Real guts. And know that we will ALWAYS love you, and have your back."
"Or 'James's," Natalie said with a grin.
"Th- thank you," Sophie whispered. "Thank you so much!" As she was smothered in a tight group hug, Sophie felt a truer form of happiness and contentment than she had ever felt in her whole life.
In many ways, her friends were more of a family to her than her 'real' family. They could've rejected Sophie out of hand and gone on with their lives without ever thinking about her again. But they didn't. They all, to a woman, wanted to be Sophie's friend, just as she wanted to be theirs. Neither 'James' nor 'Sophie' ever needed to be alone again. Sure, she still had her parents to worry about, but Sophie wanted to bask in the glow of her victory- and her birthday, which she celebrated harder than she had ever celebrated before. And at the end of the party, Natalie said something that intrigued Sophie greatly.
"Hey," the Mancunian girl said with a grin. "Maybe when you're done with your expose on the airline, you should write another book about discovering how awesome it is to be a girl?"
Sophie could barely suppress her giggles as she and the rest of the crowd stood in anticipation of the event that was about to occur. Sure, the weather wasn’t perfect, but that didn’t matter. Sure, she was several hundred miles from her home in London, but that didn’t matter either. And sure, she was clad in a snug pencil dress and uncomfortable stiletto heeled shoes, but that just served to make the event all the more exciting for Sophie.
“I have been waiting for this day for forever,” Zoe whispered to Sophie as a piece of piano music that neither woman had heard before began to play, a tune that sounded like a mixture of Scotland the Brave, Wagner's wedding march and America the Beautiful. Seconds later, two groups of figures appeared at the back of the marquee, raising the excitement levels of the crowd- Sophie included- even further.
“Are you ready?” Jessica’s father whispered to her, smiling as he received an anxious nod in response. Jessica took a deep breath as she and her father walked arm-in-arm to the front of the marquee, followed by her five bridesmaids. Beside her, Paige, her father and her bridesmaids walked in step with Jessica and her party, all wearing wide grins on their faces- but none wider than those worn by the brides themselves. As they walked down the aisle, Jessica and Paige exchanged a glance, both feeling the same spark of electricity they felt the first time their eyes had met in the cramped conference room in Paris almost four years earlier.
“Dearly beloved,” the minister- a Scottish woman in her early thirties- said as the two brides reached the front of the marquee. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of these two women in the bonds of matrimony. I have not had the privilege of knowing Jessica and Paige as long as you have, but I could tell within seconds of meeting them for the first time that the love they share is genuine and strong- as is the love that all of you feel for the happy couple. They may have grown up on opposite sides of an ocean, but they shall grow old together, forever.”
“SO romantic,” Amy whispered to Sophie as both women tried to control their emotions.
“The brides have prepared their own vows,” the minister continued as the two brides took deep breaths and turned to face each other.
“Jessica,” Paige said in a breathless voice. “Before I met you I was lost, I didn't know who or what I wanted from life, or even who or what I wanted to be. Then I found you, and everything changed. I love you with my all my heart, and I promise that you will always be the first thing I think of when I wake up, and the last thing on my mind as I go to sleep. I promise that I will never say no to you again, as I know you will never ask anything of me that I cannot give.”
“Paige,” Jessica said in an emotional voice barely louder than a whisper, “the day I met you was the best day of my life. But then every day we spent together just got better and better. You are first and foremost in my mind every second of every day, and you haven't just helped me to become a better woman, but a better person too. I promise that I will always keep you in pride of place in my head and my heart, and that I will never let anything ever come between us.”
“Jessica,” the minister said to the trembling American woman. “Do you take Paige to be your lawfully wedded wife, now and for all eternity?”
“I do,” Jessica replied, blinking back tears as she slipped a slender gold ring onto the raven-haired girl’s finger.
“And Paige,” the minister said, her voice wavering as she found herself caught up in the emotion of the event. “Do you take Jessica to be your lawfully wedded wife, now and for all eternity?”
“I do,” Paige whispered, her body trembling with excitement.
“Then by the power vested in me by Humanist Society Scotland,” the minister announced, “I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss!” The two newlyweds didn’t need to be told twice and shared a deep, loving kiss as the assembled crowd stood and cheered, many of them relieved that the couple, who has experienced more than a few ‘bumps’ in their relationship, had finally tied the knot.
After the throwing of the confetti, the tossing of the bouquets and what felt like thousands of photographs had been taken, the wedding party retreated to the large hotel near the shore of Loch Lomond where most of the guests had slept the previous night. The room had been elaborately decorated, with the light blue, pink and white colours of the transgender flag being the main theme not just for the room but for the catering, including the multi-layered cake. Despite the care that was put into the room and the food, though, the newlyweds’ favourite decoration by far were the two flags behind the top table that had been tied together- one of which was the saltire of Scotland, and the other was the stars and stripes of the United States.
By the time the presents had been opened, the speeches had been made and the cake had been cut, early afternoon had quickly turned into early evening, but the energy levels at the reception still remained high. Despite this, Sophie resisted the temptation to get up and dance with her friends, preferring instead to sit and observe, just as she’d been doing for the previous twelve months. However, Sophie had no intention of writing down this particular experience for publishing- instead, she planned to treasure the memories, particularly the feelings of love, friendship and acceptance, for as long as she lived.
“Hey you,” Amy said with a grin as she sat down next to Sophie. “Not doing much dancing, then?”
“…My heels are KILLING me,” Sophie replied, sharing a giggle with her flat mate.
“Ahh, but you do look SO girly and SO gorgeous, though!” Amy said, giggling again as the brown-haired girl blushed.
“Thank you,” Sophie replied with a smile of genuine pride. “Not as much as the brides, though, but then again I guess I’m kinda not meant to be, heh!”
“Especially not Paige,” Amy sighed. “Three months from her operation and she’s healing well, she was telling me the other day that she still gets excited every time she gets dressed, almost like she can’t believe that her body is actually hers. SO jealous.”
“I kinda get why,” Sophie said. “Even if I don’t quite share your jealousy, heh!”
“Ah- yeah…” Amy said with a bashful smile. “You don’t need a vagina to be a girl, heh!”
“Or the right ‘chemicals’?” Sophie asked her friend, who smiled and nodded in response.
“Of course,” Amy said, sharing another girlish giggle with the woman who had quickly become her close friend, despite the fact that from a strictly medical perspective, Sophie remained as male as any of the few men present at the reception.
However, this didn’t stop Amy or any of Sophie’s other colleagues and friends from accepting her as one of the girls, and as she became more accepted by her peers, Sophie found it ever easier to accept herself. She'd shown up to the wedding wearing clothes similar to any of the other women, and none of them had commented or even looked twice at her. For the first time since becoming ‘Sophie’, she was able to fully relax and be herself around her friends, though as time wore on, Sophie quickly realised that the ‘real her’ was neither ‘Sophie’ nor ‘James’, but a mixture of the two.
Sophie was initially alarmed to discover that the ‘Sophie’ side of her was more dominant than the ‘James’ side, but rather than fight the change, she chose to embrace and enjoy her feminine side. She still spent time as ‘James’, especially when visiting her parents, but time as ‘Sophie’ vastly outweighed time as ‘James’, even as the time approached for Sophie to submit her finalised expose to Rachel. Not only did Sophie intend to continue living live at least part-time as a woman following the completion of her expose, she also intended to continue living with Amy and Hayley, and also working for the airline as well- at least until she could find a job in journalism where she could show up for work as whichever gender she chose.
“Hey girls!” The youthful voice of Rachel Lyscombe said as she sat down next to Sophie and Amy. “You will NEVER guess who I just spent twenty minutes talking to!”
“Hmm, let me guess,” Amy replied in a playful tone. “Jamie-Lee Burke, maybe? Perhaps Stephanie Abbott or Kayla Ford?”
“Or all of the above?” Sophie teased, smiling as the young blonde woman squeaked excitedly.
“And I thought the Sunday ballet lessons were cool, hehe!” Rachel giggled.
“They still are,” Sophie chuckled. “Even if tights are a bit of a pain in this heat, heh.”
“Ugh, try flying to Malaga three days a row in full uniform including stockings and a corset,” Rachel snorted.
“Umm- we have?” Amy replied, before sharing another giggle with her friends. “Ah, almost worth it though to be able to hang out with Angels, hehe! Even if they are technically Jessica’s friends and not ours.”
“Well, you can never have too many, right?” Rachel asked.
“Too right,” Sophie said with a chuckle as she gazed out at the other partygoers, musing on how many of them, including genuinely transgendered people and celebrities like Jamie-Lee Burke, didn’t just accept Sophie for who she was- ‘James’ and all- but actually considered her a friend as well. ‘James’ had never been so friendless that he’d been lonely, but he didn’t have anywhere near the social circle that ‘Sophie’ had- nor did he have any friends as close as Amy, Hayley or Rachel were.
“Ahh,” Rachel sighed as the music in the function room slowed and the newlyweds returned to the dance floor. “SO beautiful…”
“They are,” Amy sighed happily. “As were Nat and Zoe at their wedding in February.”
“Gutted I missed that,” Rachel said.
“Yeah, Hayley’s really disappointed she had to work today too,” Amy mused.
“Oh well,” Rachel shrugged. “We’ll just have to wait for the next big Soixante-Trois wedding, hehe!”
“Whenever that’ll be,” Amy retorted.
“Well then,” Rachel said with a smug grin. “You two will just have to hook up, won’t you?”
“Er- no ta,” Amy replied, scrunching up her nose. “No offence, Soph, but it’d be kinda like dating my sister, heh.”
“…You’re an only child,” Sophie retorted.
“And so are you,” Amy said.
“Yeah, but it’d be worse for me, as I’d be dating someone who was both like a sister AND ginger,” Sophie said, trying not to flinch as Amy briefly frowned, before barely suppressing a loud snort of laughter.
“Touché,” the ginger-haired girl said. “And brave to be gingerist in Scotland!”
“Was about to say!” Rachel chuckled. “Ah, you two would make such a cute couple, though.”
“NO,” Amy and Sophie said simultaneously, before succumbing to a fit of giggles.
As their friends celebrated and partied late into the night, Jessica and Paige sat back down at the top table and relaxed into each other arms. After everything they'd been through, all the good times and the bad, they had finally earned their happy ending- they were married, and it was slowly dawning on the two of them that this was no fantasy, as unreal as it felt to the two of them.
“This is everything I’ve ever dreamed of,” Jessica said softly as her new wife rested her head on her shoulder. “The day, the dress, you… And me, too. If you’d told me five years ago that my wedding would be like this, I’d probably have laughed at you.”
“Me too,” Paige mused. “Five years ago I’d never have thought I’d ever get the chance to be, you know, a ‘full’ woman. But here I am, vagina and all.”
“Which is now three months old,” Jessica said, giggling as her wife rolled her mismatched eyes.
“Aye, and I know what you’re thinking,” Paige giggled. “And yes, I’m thinking it too. Even if it will be weird until you also get ‘corrected’.”
“Even after the amount of sex we had back when we ‘matched’?” Jessica asked.
“We didn’t ‘match’ before,” Paige replied. “By which I mean our bodies didn’t match our minds. And it kinda wouldn’t feel, you know, right to, you know, until we ‘matched’ as well.”
“If you’re sure?” Jessica asked.
“Absolutely,” Paige whispered. “Better to wait for your soul mate than rush into it with the wrong person, right?”
“Absolutely,” Jessica said, sharing another kiss with her wife. “I know this’ll sound weird, but I’m actually looking forward to winter, you know? I mean, recovery’ll be SUCH a pain, but waking up next to you each morning…”
“Aye, and then watching as I get up at 4:30am to fly off to Berlin or somewhere,” Paige snorted, before sighing. “…I’m looking forward to it too, though. The rest days, anyway! Gonna be so weird, you know, getting back into the routine of getting up, putting on the uniform, getting leered at by a bunch of old businessmen…”
“Still, it pays the bills,” Jessica chuckled. “And work aside, we’ve got the rest of our lives to enjoy, right?”
“Damn right,” Paige giggled as she snuggled closer to her new wife and watched as the party continued into the night.
The following morning, Sophie woke up and let out a loud yawn as she tried to clear the fog of the previous night out of her head. While she hadn’t drank as much as many other at the reception, she had continued dancing and celebrating until long after midnight, as the soreness in her feet attested. After taking a quick showering, expertly applying a light layer of make-up and pulling on her ‘foundation wear’, she changed into a comfortable t-shirt and short denim skirt, before slipping her feet into a pair of comfortable pink converse trainers and heading down to the hotel’s vast breakfast area.
After grabbing a croissant and a large mug of sweet-smelling coffee, Sophie scanned the room looking for a free seat, only to sigh when she saw that the vast majority of tables were occupied by couples. Natalie and Zoe had a small table to themselves, as did Jamie-Lee Burke and her husband, Rachel Harrison and her fiancée and even Natalie’s sister and her girlfriend. Sophie found herself musing on what Rachel Lyscombe had said the previous day, on how many of her friends had been paired off while Sophie herself remained single.
‘James’ had had his fair share of girlfriends in the past, but had been single when Rachel had asked him to become ‘Sophie’. James initially saw this as no problem, at worst a minor speed bump in his love life. ‘Sophie’ was only meant to be around for six months, at the end of which ‘James’ would return and pick up his love life from where he left off and any prospective girlfriend didn’t need to know that ‘Sophie’ ever existed. However, as time wore on and ‘Sophie’ ultimately became a permanent part of ‘James’s life, those plans were shelved and both ‘James’ and ‘Sophie’ found their love life in limbo. Natalie’s example had proved that it was more than possible for a bigendered person to find lasting love, but Sophie still doubted that she would ever find a woman as willing as Zoe to accept her two ‘identities’.
With a heavy sigh, Sophie took her meal and headed toward the large table where Amy and Rachel L were sat, along with several other guests from the previous day’s celebrations.
“Morning, lover!” Amy said as Sophie sat down, giggling as the brown haired woman rolled her eyes.
“Hi, sexy,” Sophie replied with a sarcastic snort.
“D’aww, cute!” One of the women at the table, a tall, bubbly blonde woman, said in a soft German accent. “Amy, will you not introduce me to your girlfriend?”
“She’s taking the piss,” Sophie said, exchanging stuck-out tongues with the ginger girl as she extended her hand for the German woman to shake. “And I can introduce myself, my name’s Sophie Connolly.”
“Elsa Krause,” the German woman replied. “Ja, as in the queen from Frozen, but I took the name the year before Frozen came out so I am claiming I was first!”
“But she still loves Frozen anyway,” Amy teased.
“I love all of Disney!” Elsa giggled. “It was so much fun living in Paris, we would go to the Disney Park every month, hehe!”
“Did you meet Jessica and Paige while they worked in Paris, then?” Sophie asked, frowning as the German woman replied with a loud, excited giggle.
“I was Jessica’s mentor her first day!” Elsa said. “Hard to believe I know that she hasn’t been working there since the start of time! Stacey on the other table was Paige’s mentor, but she left the airline last June.”
“That was before I started,” Sophie explained. “My mentor when I started was Abbey Watkins, who should be around here somewhere.”
“I should say as she was another bridesmaid yesterday!” Elsa giggled. “I think she is next after Jessica for the ‘cut’ if you know what I mean, heh!”
“Umm… Not really?” Sophie replied, before her eyes widened as she realised what her new friend was alluding to. “…Oh.”
“Yeah, Sophie- Sophie’s kind-of a ‘Natalie’, if you get THAT meaning,” Amy explained.
“Ah, liking the best of both the worlds, then?” Elsa asked with a supportive smile. “It is okay. You do not need the so-called 'right' thing between your legs to be a woman, heh! Though I would not give up mine for anything!”
“So- so you’re…?” Sophie mumbled.
“Born ‘wrong’?” Elsa said. “’Fraid so, yep! Had my surgery two years ago, and the recovery was a REAL pain, but as it healed it-“
“Kinda trying to eat breakfast here, Elsa?” Amy interrupted, before laughing as the German girl again burst into a fit of giggles.
“I am sorry, I am sorry!” Elsa said. “Ahh… It has been SO long since I saw the old gang, though. The rest of ‘project tutu’, hehe!”
“You- you know about the tutu project?” Sophie asked.
“I know and definitely encourage it!” Elsa replied. “Have you met any of the pilots and co-pilots?”
“A few,” Sophie replied. “I know the one you’re referring to, though. Never had the ‘pleasure’ myself as I think he only flies grey route out of Paris now.”
“Sounds about right,” Elsa snorted. “Probably afraid that ALL transgender stewardesses are in the project so flies the one route he is guaranteed to avoid them.”
“Any news on grey route expanding to the UK?” Rachel asked. “Always fancied a visit to Dubai.”
“Really?” Amy asked. “Even when wearing an ankle-length skirt and three layers of clothing in the desert?”
“Planes are air-conditioned, aren’t they?” Rachel shrugged. “I’ve never had any problems even on red route.”
“It can be tough if you’re switching from one ‘chemical balance’ to another,” Amy advised in a soft yet serious voice. “Sometimes I think the change in the uniforms was designed to punish girls like us for that very reason.”
“Kinda grateful now that Alana banned us from wearing them to the wedding,” Sophie said. “Not that there was ever any danger of that happening anyway. Well, up until she issued the formal ban, heh.”
“There’s, like, an ‘effect’ or something, isn’t there?” Rachel asked. “Specifically ban someone from doing something and they do it anyway. My boyfriend’s a big fan of Muse- you know, the band? They were once doing a radio show and the producers specifically asked them not to swear when they were doing their cover of ‘Feeling Good’.”
“What, the Nina Simone song?” Amy asked, frowning in confusion as the blonde girl nodded. “That doesn’t have any swearing in it anyway, does it?”
“It did after that particular show,” Rachel chuckled.
“Masson’s new uniform code backfired on him incredibly,” Elsa said. “He thought it would discourage girls like us and now his airline is ‘the transgender airline’. Apparently it cost him routes to Riyadh and Bahrain.”
“Can- can we not talk about work, please?” Amy moaned. “Don’t really want to think about planes or uniforms today, heh.”
“Hear hear!” Rachel giggled.
“Even the uniforms we wore on the hen night?” Elsa teased, giggling as her young new friend frowned.
“Ugh, especially those!” Rachel snorted. “As if I’m a Slytherin? I’m obviously Ravenclaw.”
“I’ll trade you my Hufflepuff for your Slytherin if you want?” Sophie asked, giggling as Rachel rolled her eyes. Before Rachel could reply, they were joined at the table by another young woman whose long blonde hair had obviously been hastily tied back into a ponytail and whose youthful features betrayed just how hard she had partied the previous night.
“Morning, young Miss Tyler!” Amy said, smirking as the eighteen year old girl groaned tiredly.
“Yeah, whatever,” Hayley- Jessica’s younger sister- replied. “…My parents are going to be SO pissed that I’m this hungover.”
“I think your sister might be a bit more!” Elsa chuckled.
“Also, the phrase you’re looking for is pissed off,” Sophie teased the young woman. “Without the ‘off’ on the end it kinda means something else on this side of the ocean. Though I’m guessing you already know that, hehe!”
“Ugh,” Hayley grumbled as she sipped her coffee. Before she could think of a retort, the table were interrupted by the arrival of yet another petite blonde woman, albeit one that was considerably better known than Hayley.
“They’re on their way,” the familiar face of Kayla Ford said to the assembled women, before moving on to the next table.
“What- what’s this?” Hayley asked.
“You’ll see,” Sophie said with a grin, which only widened when four young women entered the room to be greeted by loud cheers from everyone present. Sophie grinned as the four girls made their way to a corner table, their cheeks burning with embarrassment as they sat down with their breakfasts.
“…Please explain?” Elsa asked, confused by the girls’ reception.
“The ‘fearsome foursome’,” Sophie replied. “From left to right: Sarah, Nikki, Alexa, Jenny. Two married couples where one of the girls is transgendered and the other isn’t. Became friends last year, whenever they meet up things tend to get more than a bit loud, hehe! …What?” Sophie frowned in confusion as she suddenly realised Amy was staring at her with a wide grin on her face.
“Look at you, miss ‘cornerstone of the community’!” The ginger girl teased.
“…I’m a journalist,” Sophie mumbled with a shrug. “I’m, you know, trained to observe things.”
“You’re trained to observe colleagues and management, not four uni-age girls on the piss,” Amy retorted.
“Any- any reason I can’t do both?” Sophie replied, a proud smile spreading across her face. The source of Sophie’s pride stemmed from the fact that while she may have originally been a mere observer of the community she’d ‘infiltrated’, her knowledge of the four friends proved that she had moved far beyond ‘observer’ to become a fully integrated member of the community. Sophie felt that Amy declaring her to be a ‘cornerstone’ was a little premature, but over time, there was no reason Sophie couldn’t be. ‘James’, on the other hand, might find it a little bit harder…
Sophie’s musings were ended when the door to the breakfast area opened again and another round of applause was given- however this time, the applause was all genuine and loving, and continued right up until one of the newlyweds took a look in her younger sister’s hungover eyes and made a beeline for the ‘fearsome foursome’s table.
“…Told you,” Elsa said in a smug tone.
After breakfast, Sophie headed back to her room to pack her bags, ready for the long trip back to London. Paige had promised her and the rest of the wedding guests a tour of her hometown and Sophie wanted to be able to enjoy it without being in a rush to pack ahead of her flight back to London. She also wanted to be able to enjoy spending as much time with her friends as she could, especially all the new friends she’d made on the trip.
Sophie spent the next several hours enjoying the sights and sounds of Dumbarton (and, to a much lesser extent, the tastes- especially the deep-fried Mars Bar she was dared to eat). What she enjoyed most, though, was getting to know her new friends better. She heard all about Elsa’s life working for the airline in Berlin, about Hayley and her (and Jessica’s) brother’s university studies, which were respectively just beginning and coming to an end, and about Alexa and Jenny’s recent wedding and honeymoon. Sophie felt a particular fondness for the two American newlyweds, especially when it was explained to her that ‘Alexa’ had got her start when she agreed to live life as a female for a college assignment Jenny was working on- circumstances that Sophie found were very similar to her own origin. Sophie made a mental note to stay in touch with the two women after their return to America- even after they let out a friendly chuckle after Sophie had gagged on her deep-fried confection.
Eventually, the time came for the wedding party to go their separate ways, and the group of girls that had work the following day- which included Sophie- bade farewell to the rest of the pack before grabbing their bags from the bus and heading to Glasgow airport. A short while later, they were airborne and en route back to England’s capital, and Sophie couldn’t help but feel a little melancholy about the end of the holiday- something that didn’t go unnoticed by her friends.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Amy asked from the seat beside Sophie. “Failing that, maybe an in-flight magazine? Or a glass of prosecco from a stewardess wearing a sensible uniform?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Oh, umm, sorry, I was miles away, heh. Just thinking, you know, every time in the past that I’d go on holiday- from the airline, I mean, every time I took leave- it- it’d be at least partially as ‘James’. But today- this holiday, I mean- it’s been all ‘Sophie’, you know?”
“Umm… I think so,” Amy replied. “When your next appointment with your counsellor?”
“Monday,” Sophie replied, before sighing and giggling. “And yes, I can hold it until then.”
“I’d recommend that,” Amy said with a cheeky grin.
“Or I can find myself a girlfriend,” Sophie shrugged.
“I’d recommend that too,” Amy said. “As long as said ‘girl’ isn’t me.”
“Boo,” Sophie mock-pouted. “…Even after your ‘cutting’?”
“ESPECIALLY then,” Amy replied, deepening her flat mate’s pout.
“Even if-“ Sophie began.
“Prosecco time!” Amy said, pushing the call button on her armrest.
“Why are we flying again, instead of going back on the train?” Rachel asked from the opposite side of the aisle. “After going through check-in and getting our luggage back it wouldn’t have taken that much longer, would it?”
“It’d been a few hours more,” Amy replied.
“And we’d have got in at King’s Cross,” Sophie explained. “Meaning we’d spend another 3 hours queuing with Paige at Platform 9 ¾. Again. Probably in our hen night uniforms this time.”
“Costumes,” Amy corrected. “Costumes, not uniforms.”
“Tell me that again when we’re getting changed into your ‘uniform’ tomorrow,” Sophie retorted as the plane headed ever southward.
After landing at Heathrow Airport, the group of young women collected their luggage and headed back to their respective homes, tired after the week’s festivities. Despite it still being early evening, Amy and Sophie opted for an early night, only staying up long enough to fill in their flat mate about all the details of the wedding before heading to bed.
The following morning, Sophie let out a tired sigh as she pulled on the light blouse, slender pencil skirt and high-heeled shoes that comprised her commuting attire. Such feelings were hardly rare for someone returning to work after a holiday, but they still bemused Sophie nonetheless, not least because she constantly needed to remind herself that flight attendant wasn’t her ‘real’ job. However, Sophie quickly perked up when she arrived at the airport and began changing into her smart blue uniform, and this was all down to the fact that all of her friends were present, changing alongside her.
“So then,” Amy said with an exaggerated sigh. “When ARE you going to move in with us, Rachel?”
“Ugh, you know the answer to that already,” the blonde girl replied with a chuckle and a roll of her eyes. “When my parents decide to stop wrapping me up in cotton wool and treat me like an actual adult.”
“The fact that you fly back and forth to Europe as a career choice wasn’t a hint to them?” Hayley- Sophie and Amy’s flat mate- asked.
“I could be an astronaut and fly back and forth to the Moon as a career and they’d still be the same,” Rachel sighed. “Still, they’ll get the message eventually. Hopefully. Maybe.”
“You could sneak Lucas into your room more easily in our flat,” Sophie teased.
“Oh- shut up,” Rachel moaned. “Besides, if I did move in, I’d have to share a room with you.”
“I’m a deep sleeper,” Sophie shrugged, earning snorts of laughter from Amy and Hayley.
“I’m more worried about me waking up when you sneak Amy into the room,” Rachel retorted, smirking as Hayley roared with laughter while the other two girls rolled their eyes contemptuously.
“…I’ve changed my mind, you can sleep on a park bench,” Amy snorted, which only widened Hayley and Rachel’s grins.
“Always knew you two would make such a cute couple,” Hayley said, giggling as Amy shot a playful elbow into her ribs.
“Enjoy Paris,” Amy scoffed as she went to leave the locker room, before stopping, giggling and returning to plant a large kiss on Hayley’s cheek.
“Uh- eww!” Hayley complained, wiping Amy’s lipstick from her face before repairing her make-up. “See what you’d be moving in with, Rachel?”
“I have two younger sisters, this is nothing,” Rachel chuckled.
“Really?” Sophie asked. “You think ‘two younger sisters’ compares to ‘three older sisters and several bottles of wine’?”
“Older sisters who are all single and don’t have much to fill their spare time?” Hayley continued.
“…Okay, maybe not,” Rachel replied, before giggling. “Though how you three are still single is beyond me.”
“Yeah…” Hayley grimaced. “Sadly it isn’t really beyond us. In front of us, yes, underneath us… But not ‘beyond’. Yet.”
“Oh whatever,” Rachel shrugged. “So you weren’t born ‘fully equipped’, why should that matter? Last time I checked it was 2018, not 1820.”
“Tell that to the UKIP brigade,” Hayley snorted.
“I wouldn’t want to date anyone from the UKIP brigade anyway,” Rachel shrugged.
“And it’s even more complicated for me,” Sophie said. “What girl would want to date a guy dressed like this? What gay girl would want to date a girl who was occasionally a guy?” Sophie sighed as she gestured to her very form-flattering, very obviously feminine.
“Zoe did,” Rachel shrugged.
“Let me put to you this way,” Sophie said, “If Lucas suddenly developed a taste for dresses, make-up and heels, would you still want to go out with him?”
“Umm, you’ve met Lucas?” Rachel replied. “You know that that is NOT going to happen, heh!”
“Brave thing to say in THIS locker room,” Hayley said, making Rachel grimace as she realised her faux pas.
“And stranger things HAVE happened,” Sophie advised. Such as me developing a taste for dresses, make-up and heels, the brown-haired girl thought to herself.
“I- ugh, this is gonna sound really bad, but I dunno,” Rachel sighed. “I really don’t. I wish I could say one way or the other, but it- I really don’t know, you know?”
“Meh, you’re honest, at least,” Hayley shrugged as her two friends balanced their signature blue pillbox hats atop their head and grabbed their bags. “Pass on my love to Berlin. Especially Elsa if you run into her!”
“Think she’s flying back tomorrow, sadly,” Sophie sighed. “Pity really, she seems really cool. Even if she is a bit, you know, hyper a lot of the time.”
“Elsa IS cool,” Rachel said. “Think I heard somewhere that she was the company’s first-ever transgendered flight supervisor.”
“And that she was on a flight with the Angels way back in 2014, before the first proper series of their show had been broadcast,” Hayley said with a grin. “Anyway, see you two later!”
“Yep- see you!” Rachel chuckled as she and Sophie left the locker room and headed toward their flight. “…Reckon Elsa’d have a lot of stories for your, you know, thing, Soph?”
“I definitely plan on having a few words with her,” Sophie replied. “If I ever get the opportunity, heh. Still need to talk to Zoe’s sister and it’s been six months since her and Natalie’s wedding, heh.”
“You didn’t talk to her at this wedding, then?” Rachel asked, smiling as Sophie shook her head. “She’s an interesting woman. Apparently she was at school with and in the same year as that Formula One driver who died a few years ago. Then again, she did grow up only a few miles away from Monaco.”
“She- she’s thirty in a few months, isn’t she?” Sophie asked.
“Dunno, it’s not like I saw her passport,” Rachel replied with a chuckle and a shrug. “Don’t think she mentioned that she’d be, you know, ‘moving on’ soon.”
“I’ll definitely try to have a word with her soon,” Sophie said. “Rachel- older Rachel, that is- she- she’s kinda pressuring me to get things written up and finalised, heh.”
“You have been at this a year,” Rachel said.
“You can’t rush something like this,” Sophie retorted.
“I guess,” Rachel shrugged. “I’m not the writer here, heh! Though I do wonder about one thing.”
“Which is?” Sophie asked.
“Whether or not you’re stalling because you genuinely like this job,” Rachel said in an almost accusing tone of voice.
“…There are worse jobs,” Sophie mumbled.
“All of which you could do as ‘Sophie’ if that’s what matters to you,” Rachel said softly.
“I know,” Sophie whispered. “And it- it is. And no matter where I work, you- by which I mean, like, you, Amy, Hayley etc.- you’ll always be my best friends.”
“Even if you do find a ‘Zoe’ to your ‘Natalie’?” Rachel asked.
“Yeah, can’t see that happening somehow,” Sophie said with a derisive snort of laughter.
“Stranger things have happened…” Rachel said, echoing Sophie’s statement and striking a chord with the brown-haired girl as they headed to their plane.
The flights to and from Berlin were uneventful, which gave Sophie plenty of time to think about her situation. None of the girls she’d dated in the past would’ve reacted positively to the presence of ‘Sophie’ in ‘James’s life. Most of them would likely have reacted the same way Rachel did to the mere possibility, just as ‘James’ himself likely would have done. But the fact of the matter was that ‘Sophie’ wouldn’t be going anywhere, even after the end of her employment with the airline- whenever that was likely to be, anyway. And while Sophie was confident that she’d made friends for life, she couldn’t help but wonder- especially after the week’s celebrations- whether or not there was anyone out there for her, whether she’d ever get married, and most importantly, whether she’d be wearing a dress or a suit when she did…
Over the course of Saturday and Sunday, Sophie settled back into her working routine, with the wedding quickly becoming just a happy memory- one of many she’d acquired since ‘Sophie’ became a part of her life. Eventually, Monday rolled around, and as Sophie changed into her uniform alongside her colleagues, she couldn’t help but smirk at the mix of facial expressions on display- those apprehensive as they started their working week; those, like Sophie, who were tired and excited at the end of their working week, and the extremely anxious looks on a group of faces that Sophie didn’t recognise, but was sure she’d soon come to know as well as her other friends.
“I always love ‘newbie day’,” Anna-Jade chuckled as she buttoned her shiny black blouse. “Kinda reminds me of my first day here. Which was four and a half fucking years ago, heh!”
“Didn’t feel like taking a newbie yourself this time round?” Sophie asked the ginger-haired Irishwoman. “I mean, ‘cause-“
“’Cause I’m rapidly approaching the big three-oh and I won’t get another chance to?” Anna-Jade asked.
“…Wouldn’t have worded it EXACTLY like that…” Sophie mumbled.
“Ah, sure, you’re fine,” Anna-Jade said with a smile. “Already looking at other jobs anyway, probably gonna be moving closer to home anyway.”
“Back to Ireland?” Sophie asked. “Are- are you in a better place with your family, then?”
“’Better’ but still not ‘great’,” Anna-Jade sighed. “It- it’s a long story. Maybe some other time, eh? As long as you promise not to put it into print, heh!”
“Cross my heart,” Sophie said with a giggle. “Ahh… Weird to think that I’m going to end up being one of the most experienced here, heh.”
“This place always had a high turnover rate for stewardesses,” Anna-Jade said. “Makes my four and a half years seem like a lifetime, heh! Wouldn’t have changed it for anything, though. Especially not all the friends I’ve made. Gonna be hard to say goodbye! Ooh, speaking of saying goodbye…” Sophie turned round and followed her colleague and friend’s gaze to where a familiar French face had just entered the locker room to be greeted by a friendly round of applause.
“Ugh, mes amies…” Amelie mumbled, before allowing herself a tired giggle. “Merci beaucoup, I would be lying if I said that I would not miss all of you today.”
“Looking forward to university, then?” Amy asked.
“Oui,” Amelie replied. “Even though I shall be in London instead of Paris, it will be a great adventure.”
“Guessing you’re staying in London because of Ellen?” Rachel asked, smirking as the French girl nodded. “Kinda surprised she isn’t working today as well.”
“Guess Alana didn’t want you two to make a scene?” Anna-Jade asked.
“Actually it was I who asked her to not work on today,” Amelie replied.
“Huh,” Sophie said. “You never struck me as someone who cared about the rules.”
“There are some rules that I feel I should obey,” Amelie said. “You shall know one of them soon.”
“What- what’s that supposed to mean?” Hayley asked.
“You will see,” Amelie said with a cryptic smile as she began to change into her uniform.
“Anyway, I’d better get going,” Sophie said as she donned her hat. “Berlin awaits, and the sooner I leave, the sooner I can start my weekend, hehe!”
“Yeah, yeah, you just rub it in,” Hayley said, chuckling as her flat mate left the locker room alongside Amelie before turning to the nervous and confused young woman standing next to her. “Don’t worry too much! Every workplace has a bit of friendly teasing in it, but we only do that to our friends, people who have worked here for a while. And it’s all in fun- we’re not like a sorority house or anything. And most definitely not a frat house, hehe!”
“Yeah, I guess,” Alicia- Hayley’s trainee- said with a shrug of her shoulders. “It does seem a bit unprofessional, though?”
“We’d never do it in front of a passenger,” Hayley said, surprised by the young woman’s seriousness. “But we’re in front of customers often for hours at a time, we need some ‘down’ time, time to relax. Plus, it builds, you know, team spirit, camaraderie, that sort of thing.”
“I dunno,” Alicia said, fidgeting uncomfortably. “It- it just seems like a bit of a ‘locker room’ in here.”
“Whatever you do, don’t say that out loud!” Rachel said with a giggle. “Trust me, comparisons to anything even remotely male are NOT welcome in this particular- well, okay, I guess it kinda is technically a ‘locker room’, hehe!”
“I kinda figured, heh,” Alicia said bashfully as she carefully pulled on her blue uniform. “Not that- not that I have a problem with that- with ANY of that, you understand, right?”
“Oh- sure,” Hayley said. “We’re all sisters in here when we pull on the uniform. But NOT a sorority, okay?”
“Okay,” Alicia said with a nervous smile.
"Though I may have just had an idea for your 'passing probation' party theme, hehe!" Amy giggled. "I know it's kinda cliché, but this job is a LOT better if you're working with your friends. It's hard work, tiring work and the uniform sucks. But we- all of us- can have a lot of fun, hehe!"
"If you say so," Alicia shrugged.
"Ah, come on," Danni- Amy's trainee- said with a playful laugh. "Why should work be all serious, all business?"
"I just value being professional, that's all," Alicia said. "Can- can we agree to disagree on this one?"
"Sure, if you insist," Daisy- Rachel's trainee- said. "But you have to turn off 'professional' at some point."
"Some of us struggle to turn it on at times, heh," Hayley chuckled.
"Speak for your fucking self, girlie!" Anna-Jade chuckled, before frowning at the look on Alicia's face, clearly disapproving of her profanity. "Umm... I'll- I'll get to my flight, heh."
"See you later, older ginge!" Amy said, giggling as the Irishwoman replied with a middle finger that earned another disapproving look from Alicia.
"...You sure this airline's big enough for the two of you?" Danni asked, making her mentor giggle.
"You and I are going to get along REALLY well," Amy said, giving her trainee's shoulder a gentle squeeze.
"I hope," Danni said. "I mean, right...?"
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Hayley asked.
"That you can...?" Danni began.
"Never have too many friends!" Most of the stewardesses old and new cheered- but with the notable exception of Alicia.
“Right then,” Amy said, clapping her hands together as a smug smile spread across her youthful features. “Everyone ready? Then let’s learn, hehe!” The ginger girl smiled as she and her colleagues old and new headed into the corridor, though the smile quickly faded when she saw her manager storming toward the group with a look of pure fury on her face.
“Al- Alana?” Hayley asked, biting her lip with nerves only to frown in confusion as her manager stormed straight past her and headed out into the vast concourse of Heathrow airport, where a large commotion was happening- even larger than usual for the busy transport hub.
At the centre of the commotion, seemingly oblivious to the number of phones and cameras being pointed at them, were the uniformed Amelie and the casually-dressed Ellen, who were lovingly holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes.
“Ma amour,” Amelie said in a quivering, emotional voice. “This year I have spent with you has been the most beautiful year of my life. You have shown me love and opened my eyes to a world that I never want to let go. And to a love that I never want to let go. Ellen Louise Briggs-“ The gathered crowd collectively gasped as Amelie struggled with her tight uniform but eventually sank onto one knee and held up a small box with a sparkling diamond ring. “Will you marry me?”
“Oh my god!” Ellen squeaked, tears streaming from her eyes as she stared at the ring. “Yes, yes, god yes I will marry you!” The gathered crowd- including the other stewardesses- all cheered as Amelie slid the ring onto Ellen’s finger before sharing a long, deep kiss with the Manchester native.
“Oh my god, congratulations you two!” Sophie squeaked, briefly forgetting her professionalism as she exchanged hugs with the two newly-engaged women. Several of their other colleagues and friends followed suit, before a loud cough from their manager brought an end to the celebration.
“You all have flights to get to,” Alana said sternly, ignoring the boos of some of those in the crowd as the stewardesses slowly made their way back toward where they were supposed to be. “We WILL speak later about this. Amelie, Ellen, with me. NOW.”
“Umm- I’m not even working today?” Ellen protested.
“Do you have a flight to catch?” Alana asked.
“Umm… No…” Ellen mumbled.
“Then why are you at an airport?” Alana asked, frowning as the younger woman was unable to answer her question. “That’s what I thought. Follow me.” With nervous expressions on their faces, Amelie and Ellen followed their manager back to the employees area while Sophie discreetly made a mental note to ask Amelie about what happened in her impromptu meeting with her manager- something that undoubtedly make an interesting addition to her report.
Though as excited as she was by the addition to her expose, and as happy as she was for her two friends, Sophie couldn’t help but wonder if anyone would ever get down on one knee and slide a ring onto her finger…
That night, despite their manager’s disapproval, Ellen and Amelie’s friends gathered at their vast modern apartment to celebrate both their engagement and the return of the rest of their friends from Scotland. Even though the party had to end earlier than usual, due to most of the women working the following day, everyone present still had a lot of fun- none more so than the two newlyweds.
"Perfect start to the honeymoon," Jessica sighed happily.
"What, our thunder being stolen?" Paige replied, before giggling. "Aye, don't worry, I know what you mean, we're soul mates, remember?"
"I hadn't forgotten," Jessica said with a smug smirk. "So... What was I thinking?"
"That it's great to be around all our friends," Paige said confidently, smiling as Jessica rewarded her correct answer with a gentle kiss. "Even the new friends, heh!"
"I’m sure we'll get to know Daisy, Danni and Alicia well before long," Jessica said. "Even if Alicia looks like she's well outside her comfort zone being here. Never mind the fact that I'll be 'out of commission' by the time they're out of probation, heh."
"If by 'out of commission' you mean 'perfected'?" Paige said with a grin. "You are going to love being 'complete' SO much."
"Nah," Jessica whispered as she linked her left hand with that or her wife. "I already am complete. Happily ever after?"
"Happily ever after," Paige said softly as she exchanged another kiss with her new wife, not caring about the fact that most of her friends were staring straight at the two women.
"D'aww," Amy sighed happily. "They are SO cute. Always have been, always will be."
"Not to say that you two aren't, of course!" Sophie giggled as she addressed Amelie and Ellen. "Think your wedding will be the third in a row I've gone to where there's no groom, heh."
"Good," Amelie said with a smug grin. "This shall be something difficult to explain to my father, I should think that he already knows, heh."
"My parents already know," Ellen chuckled. "Dad's already looking forward to walking me down the aisle, I mean, been six months since I last spoke to him and already he's making plans!"
"Take it Natalie's your maid of honour, then?" Amy asked.
"We've both got two sisters," Ellen replied. "Makes sense to make both pairs co-maids of honour, if that makes sense?"
"Room for any more bridesmaids?" Hayley asked with a playful pout.
"I shall think!" Amelie giggled. "But Miss Connolly is in with a definite chance of being one of them!"
"Aww, you don't have to, really..." Sophie mumbled as her cheeks reddened.
"Do not be silly," Amelie said. "You have been one of my best friends during my time with the airline. Just because it has come to an end does not mean that our friendship needs to end."
"...Thanks," Sophie said with a bashful smile.
"A toast!" Amy cheered. "To love and friendship- the two greatest things of them all!"
"To love and friendship!" The girls all cheered, even as Sophie mused on whether or not she would always be the bridesmaid, and never the bride…
Sophie had a wide grin on her face as she stood among her colleagues, all of whom were wearing the same blue uniform as her. The uniform, especially the corset, was just as uncomfortable as it had been the first time Sophie had worn it 15 months earlier, but she had long since stopped caring about that. She had long since stopped feeling like an outsider in the uniform, as though she, as a genetic male, didn’t belong in the group of beautiful professional women. And she had long since stopped thinking of the women around her as mere colleagues, or subjects to be interviewed for a book- they were her friends, true friends she felt closer to than any other friend she had ever met. And except for a very select few, none had guided and supported her more than the blonde woman being honoured at the front of the room.
“Ladies,” Alana announced, making Sophie grin as she remembered that the group included her, “it is my great pleasure to introduce you to Soixante-Trois Airlines’ newest flight supervisor: Miss Abbey Watkins!” Sophie clapped and cheered as enthusiastically as the rest of her friends for her former mentor, who giggled nervously as Alana presented her with a brand-new blazer with special gold-coloured buttons on the front.
“Thank you, thank you so much!” Abbey squeaked as she donned the blazer and posed for photographs both from her friends and colleagues and a photographer the airline had hired for the event. “Ahh… I should probably give a speech, shouldn’t I?”
“Yes,” a voice in the room shouted, eliciting giggles from all the women in the room.
“I- I just want to thank the company for giving me this opportunity,” Abbey said. “Not only in a professional sense but in a personal sense as well.” Many of the assembled women nodded their heads in agreement with Abbey’s sentiment- and much to her own surprise, Sophie was one of them. “There’s one person in particular I’d like to thank, though,” Abbey continued with a sly grin, making one of the other gold-buttoned women on the stage roll her eyes. “Jessica Robertson-Tyler was my mentor on my first day here, and everything I need to know I learned from her. Not just about being a flight attendant, but about being a woman as well.” Once again, many of the women in the crowd nodded their heads, and once again, Sophie found herself being one of them. “And I’m sure she’ll be proud now that I’m her equal!” Abbey concluded with a smug grin as her former mentor approached and gave her a gentle, congratulatory hug.
“You wish,” Jessica teased her English friend, though while her lower face was smiling, her eyes were fixed on the crowd- more specifically, on the mismatched blue and green eyes of her wife, and the black buttons on her uniform.
Twelve stewardesses had applied for the supervisor’s role that Abbey had gained, and of the twelve, Paige was the most experienced in terms of the length of time she’d been employed by the airline. However, not for the first time, Paige was passed over for promotion, and once again the reason given was her having an excessive amount of time off sick. And while when questioned, the airline pointed to Paige’s multiple bouts of flu over the previous 24 months, she and Jessica both suspected that the real ‘illness’ they referred to were the three months Paige had taken off to recover from her SRS operation. Both women made sure to let Sophie know their concerns, with the understanding that they would anonymously make it into her expose.
“Well done, ‘boss’!” Paige said, forcing a smile on her face as the crowd mingled and she congratulated Abbey with a gentle hug. “I’ll try not tae get too jealous, hehe!”
“If anyone should be jealous, it’s me,” Abbey said with a sad sigh. “6 months’ probation in the supervisor role means I’ve lost my February slot for- well, my ‘slot’, heh.”
“Ugh, really?” Paige asked, suddenly feeling bad about her resentment of Abbey’s promotion.
“Yep,” Abbey sighed. “Gonna be February 2020 at the earliest now. Still, I knew that this was a possibility, and I’ve already waited 23 years, what’s another 12 months?”
“Aye, but it still sucks, though,” Paige sighed. “Know who’s been moved forward in the queue?”
“Umm, everyone else?” Abbey replied with a chuckle. “Seriously though, think it’s Nish next, then Annabelle.”
“Think you’re missing one!” Paige said, giggling as her wife approached her and gave her hand a stealthy squeeze.
“Ah, how could I forget!” Abbey giggled. “How long is it now?”
“Five days,” Jessica replied with a nervous laugh. “really starting to feel the nerves now!”
“Ah, you’ll be fine,” Abbey giggled. “God knows you’ve waited long enough.”
“Yeah,” Jessica sighed happily. “Hoping to be well enough to go to the States at Christmas, and for my brother’s 21st too. Assuming my ‘nurse’ will even let me get out of bed!”
“Annnnnd we’re getting into a topic I really don’t want to discuss,” Abbey said, chuckling as Jessica and Paige headed out of the cramped employee area. Before the newly promoted woman could catch her breath, though, a group of three familiar faces filled the space left by Jessica and Paige.
“Meet the new boss, sexy as the old boss!” Amy teased the blonde Essex native, who rolled her eyes in reply.
“Yeah, yeah, get it over with,” Abbey snorted, before giggling. “But thanks, girls! I promise not to come down TOO hard on you on our first flight together, hehe!”
“We promise the same,” Hayley said with a smug grin.
“Most importantly,” Amy teased, “when are you planning on celebrating your new job? And by ‘new job’ I mean ‘raise’. And by ‘celebrate’ I of course mean ‘a shopping trip’!” Abbey, Amy and Hayley all giggled as the fourth woman in the group looked up excitedly at the mention of the words ‘shopping trip’.
“…What?” Sophie protested. “It’s been ages since the last ASH shopping trip.”
“And I wouldn’t want to intrude on you three’s ‘special time’,” Abbey teased. “By which I mean ‘I’m not paying for everything’ Or indeed ANYthing.” Abbey grinned as her three friends all giggled excitedly.
“Eh, it was worth a try!” Amy said with a grin as she, Hayley and Sophie headed toward their flights, the rest of the crowd dispersing shortly afterward.
“Okay then,” Jessica said with a giggle as she sat Abbey down at one of the desks in the formerly cramped room. “Better get you clued up on what you need to know about being a supervisor, seeing as it’s my flights you’ll be supervising for the next three months, hehe!”
“Hehe!” Abbey giggled in reply. “Thanks for this- all this, I mean. Especially as, umm, I know Paige was up for the same promotion…” Abbey bit her scarlet-coloured lip as a dark look briefly passed over her old mentor’s face.
“She won’t hold it against you, honestly,” Jessica whispered in reply. “She doesn’t hold grudges against people like that, especially not friends. Hell, she didn’t against me.”
“Umm, I’d kinda hope not, she married you,” Abbey reminded her American friend. “And thanks for reminding me this is the second time she’s been passed over for promotion.”
“Honestly, don’t worry about Paige,” Jessica said in a calm, soothing voice. “Just ‘cause she’s Scottish doesn’t mean she’s permanently angry all the time, heh!”
“Yeah, I guess,” Abbey giggled. “And she’ll probably get the promotion next time round.”
“Too right she will,” Jessica chuckled. “Though I’ll be honest, I am kinda surprised any of, you know, ‘us’ got the promotion at all.”
“And by ‘us’, you mean…” Abbey asked, holding up two fingers on each hand and smiling as Jessica nodded. “Yeah, I was kinda surprised Alana chose me over, say, Michelle or Emily.”
“You’ve been here longer than both of them combined!” Jessica retorted with a giggle. “Besides, I think the powers that be have other ‘targets’ in mind.” Abbey nodded at the American woman’s implication- she knew exactly which ‘target’ Jessica was referring to.
Shortly after the presentation, the ‘target’ in question took a deep breath- or rather, as deep as her tight, extra-carefully inspected uniform would allow- before removing the restraints on her drinks trolley and pushing it out into the cabin of the aeroplane.
“Can I help you, sir?” Ellen asked the young, smartly dressed businessman, trying not to fidget as he stared intently at her nylon-covered legs and curvaceous body in her tight uniform.
“Just a cup of coffee, please,” the young man replied in a low, almost purring French accent that made Ellen’s skin crawl.
“Would you like milk and sugar, sir?” Ellen asked as she poured the passenger’s drink.
“Please,” the businessman replied. “And one of those chocolate biscuits as well, from the third shelf down.” The shelf that’s too high to justify me crouching but too low for me not to have to bend over to get it, Ellen thought to herself as she bent down to retrieve the biscuit, grimacing at the feel of her already tight skirt stretching further over her backside.
“Will there be anything else, sir?” Ellen asked.
“No thank you,” the young man replied, smirking as he took a bite out of his biscuit. Ellen smiled and nodded as she took her trolley to her next thirsty passengers, and tried her hardest not to scream as every passenger- all of whom were young, affluent men like the first man- requested the same beverage and the same sweet treat from the same shelf. By the time Ellen returned to the plane’s kitchen, her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, even though, as she reminded herself, it was the same thing that happened to almost every stewardess on the dreaded London to Paris flight. Even though recently, every flight she had done had been the dreaded London to Paris flight.
“Hey,” Hayley said as Ellen refilled the refreshment trolley with a loud sigh. “At least it’s not a long flight, right?”
“Even though it feels like it,” Ellen snorted.
“Well- just think of what’s waiting for you when you get back to London,” Hayley advised, bringing a wide grin to her friend’s face. Ellen was only too happy to endure the sneers and the lecherous looks and comments from her passengers if it meant that end of the day, she could return to the woman she loved.
Ellen knew all too well that the way she and Amelie had got engaged had caused embarrassment to the airline’s management, just as she knew that was undoubtedly her fiancée’s plan all along. And she knew that even if Amelie had still been working for the airline, there was no way they would’ve dared to punish her. So, Ellen took her ‘punishment’ with a smile on her face, safe in the knowledge that as soon as the plane returned to Heathrow, her engagement ring would be back on her finger and she would soon be back in the arms of her beloved.
“Aww,” Hayley sighed sadly as the kitchen’s call light illuminated again and Ellen pushed her trolley back out into the cabin. “They’re like, you know, a proper ‘Juliet and Juliet’ story, you know?”
“I guess,” Alicia replied with a shrug. “But they must’ve known they’d get under the skin of the management, right? Especially Monsieur Masson himself.”
“Yeah, you never really met Amelie, did you?” Hayley asked with a giggle.
“No, but from what I’ve heard of her, I simply don’t get her,” Alicia replied. “Monsieur Masson has a net worth of what, 5 billion pounds?”
“Probably measured in euros instead of pounds, but it’s about that, yeah,” Hayley replied.
“And he has five children?” Alicia asked, earning a nod in reply. “So his children stand to inherit a billion euros each, right? Yet Amelie seems to be doing her best to get her dad to cut her out of his will.”
“Well, he is only in his fifties,” Hayley retorted. “It’s not like he’s going to drop dead tomorrow. Amelie just wants to be an independent woman, not simply known as the daughter of a billionaire, you know?”
“It’s a lot easier to be independent when you have a billion euros,” Alicia retorted, making her old mentor giggle.
“Ah, I am SO going to miss these chats when you’re out of probation,” Hayley chuckled. “Speaking of, have you chosen a theme for your ‘out of probation’ party yet? Something I can afford, I hope!”
“Umm,” Alicia replied, blushing and smiling bashfully as she suddenly found herself at the centre of attention. “I haven’t really… I don’t- I don’t know if-“
“Ah ah ah,” Hayley teased. “You know the rules. Though if I could tempt you out of bed on a Sunday morning-“
“HELL no,” Alicia giggled. “my last ballet lesson was when I was nine and that will stay my LAST lesson, hehe! And besides-“ Alicia paused as she considered her next words, bringing a look of confusion to her mentor’s face.
“Besides…?” Hayley asked.
“Oh, it- it’s nothing,” Alicia chuckled as she returned to filling up her coffee pots, though Hayley wasn’t convinced by her former pupil’s nonchalance.
Sophie let out a long sigh as she returned to her flat and eased her feet out of her designer high heeled shoes. Even after sixteen months of getting used to them, Sophie’s feet and calves still ached from hours of standing in high heels, though as she padded through to her room to change, Sophie mused that at times it felt just as odd to her to walk with her feet flat on the floor. After stripping off her stylish pencil dress, her corset and her stockings, Sophie mused that with at least hours until either of her flat mates returned from their flights, she had the perfect opportunity to return to being 'James', to remove her bra, breast forms and cache sex and not worry about her appearance or make any effort to appear outwardly female. And yet, as much as she wanted to relax, Sophie found that the only way she could effectively do that was to keep her 'enhancements' in place, pull on a pair of soft, tight leggings and a baggy t-shirt and curl up on her sofa with her smooth legs and manicured toes curled underneath her.
After dividing her attention between the TV and her phone for half an hour, Sophie let out a long sigh as she opened the ‘phone’ app on her mobile phone and scrolled to the contact she’d avoided calling for several weeks, but which she knew she couldn’t put off any longer.
“Hello?” The refined voice of Sophie’s mother asked as she answered the phone, causing Sophie to squirm despite her best efforts.
“Hi mum,” the stewardess replied in the voice that ‘James’ had used for the previous 24 years.
“James, hello!” Sophie’s mother replied. “How are you? I take it you had an early shift today at work?”
“Yeah,” James replied with a nervous chuckle. “Just, umm, Dublin and back…”
“I see,” James’s mother said. “And how is your book coming along? Still hard at work on it, right?”
“Umm, yep!” James replied, his face flushing at the knowledge that he’d just lied to his mother. She knew that the truth was that the book had long since been completed and was in the final stages of editing, and there was absolutely no need for 'Sophie' to still work for the airline at all.
“Well, I’m still looking forward to it,” James’s mother said. “As is your father, provided the information isn’t TOO personal! We’re actually taking a flight to Paris at the start of December, spending a romantic weekend there as a sort-of late silver wedding anniversary treat.”
“Oh, that sounds great!” James cooed. “Will- will you be flying with Soixante-Trois?”
“I- I don’t think so,” James’s mother replied. “Doubt seeing his son dressed as a stewardess would put your father in the mood for a romantic weekend!”
“I- I guess not,” James replied, disguising the disappointment in his voice. Why was it so much easier for his friends, none of whom he had known for longer than eighteen months, to accept him than his own parents?
‘James’ spent the next 20 minutes chatting with ‘his’ mother, filling her in on ‘his’ work and health, but avoiding any details about the specifics of ‘Sophie’s life. When Sophie hung up the phone, she let out a long sigh of relief, happy that her obligation to her family had been fulfilled. However, she felt a sense of stress about continually having to lie to her parents…
Sophie decided to distract herself from her thoughts by preparing herself and her soon-to-return flat mates a quick dinner, but was interrupted within minutes by a quiet, polite knock at the front door.
“Ugh, forgotten your key AGAIN, Ames?” Sophie muttered aloud as she opened the door but let out a gasp of shock at the sight that greeted her- not just because it wasn’t either of her flat mates, but because of the elaborate way her guest was dressed.
The woman, who appeared to be Sophie’s age or younger, was wearing a long, slender-fitting dress with a slit asymmetrical skirt and elaborate lace fringing at the hem. On her legs were dark tights with a loose crisscross pattern and a pair of spike-heeled stiletto pumps, and around her waist was a corset that had been tightened far more than any Sophie had ever worn to work. Her face had been made-up with a pale but glossy foundation, thick false eyelashes and burgundy eyeshadow and lipstick, and her otherwise plain brown hair seemed to glisten with every colour of the rainbow. And yet, despite the woman’s almost otherworldly nature, all Sophie could think was ‘I wish I could emulate this look’.
“Umm… Hi?” Sophie asked.
“Hello,” the woman replied in a refined tone. “May I speak with Amy, please? I have the garments that she requested two months ago.”
“Umm, Amy isn’t back yet,” Sophie replied as she slowly began to remember the woman’s identity. “She should only be a few minutes though, please, please come in, make yourself comfortable. It’s Ophelia, isn’t it?”
“Yes, I am Ophelia Cassiopeia Love,” the woman replied with a polite smile as she entered the flat carrying two garment bags, one that obviously contained a dress and one that contained a smaller garment. “May I hang these up anywhere? I would not like them to be creased.”
“Umm, sure,” Sophie replied, taking the bags and hanging them in her bedroom doorway while Ophelia elegantly sat down on the sofa. “Would you like anything to drink?”
“Only if you are also having a beverage,” Ophelia replied. “Your name is Sophie, is it not? I believe we met at Jessica and Paige’s wedding in August.”
“Yeah, that’s me,” Sophie replied. “And I think we met before at the karaoke night in March? Only your hair looked kinda different back then.”
“Four years of experimenting with hair dyes does take its toll on one’s hair,” Ophelia replied with a sad sigh. “I decided I preferred having thick brown hair to brittle rose and gold hair. And so, does my husband.”
“Cool,” Sophie replied. “So, umm, do you make a lot of dresses for people?”
“Both for a career and a hobby,” Ophelia replied. “I graduated from university in the summer with a degree in fashion design, and I now work at an upmarket fashion house in London. However, I will always find time to create for my friends and for those who ask.”
“Cool,” Sophie repeated.
“Have you worked for your airline for long?” Ophelia asked.
“Almost a year and a half,” Sophie replied. “I- I always wanted to be a journalist, that’s what my degree is in.”
“Oh,” Ophelia said. “Pardon me, but if you do not mind me asking- “
“How I ended up working for Soixante-Trois?” Sophie interrupted. “It- it’s kinda a long story, heh.”
“My apologises, I did not mean to pry,” Ophelia said, blushing bashfully and seeming as relieved as Sophie was when the front door opened again, and Amy walked through it.
“Hi honey, I’m home!” The ginger woman announced, before smiling at the sight of the guest sitting on her sofa. “Oh, hi Ophelia! Sorry I’m a little late, we were delayed leaving Brussels. Hope I didn’t keep you waiting long?”
“I arrived only a few minutes ago,” Ophelia said. “I have completed the items you asked for. As you asked me to use my own judgement for the colouring, I made your dress a deep shade of red to complement your hair. I also cinched in the waist as you asked.”
“Ah, this looks perfect!” Amy said as she unzipped the larger garment bag and examined the delicate dress within. “I really, REALLY needed a proper evening gown like this, thank you so much!”
“It is my pleasure as always to create gowns for my friends,” Ophelia replied with a subtle smile. “The other garment I designed in a deep shade of green, which I felt would be appropriate considering what you had told me.”
“Well- yes, true,” Amy said nervously. “Thank you so much for both of these, are you sure I can’t give you any more money for this?”
“We agreed upon a price, to which you accepted,” Ophelia said. “I would not feel right accepting more.”
“Well- okay,” Amy said with a giggle, before giving the elaborately dressed woman a gentle hug. “And thanks again!”
“It was my pleasure,” Ophelia said. “Now if you will excuse me, I must depart, my husband shall be returning from university shortly.”
“Okay,” Amy said with a smile as she saw her guest to the door. “Take care!”
“She seems nice,” Sophie said with a shrug as she returned to the kitchen to continue cooking dinner.
“She is,” Amy said. “And loves everything about clothes despite having been born female, hehe!”
“Lucky her,” Sophie chuckled. “I mean, doing what she loves for a living.”
“And so are you,” Amy reminded her flat mate. “At least, you will be when you leave the airline, I guess.”
“Yeah, I guess…” Sophie said with an awkward chuckle. “That’s still a way off yet.”
“Glad to hear it,” Amy said. “And not just because I reckon we’re going to be down another employee in the near future…”
As Amy and Sophie were talking, the employee Amy was referring to was counting the seconds until the end of her flight back from Paris to London and trying not to count the number of times her body had been ogled by the passengers on the flight. Ellen let out a sigh of relief as the ‘fasten seatbelts’ sign illuminated and the plane began its final descent into Heathrow airport, and another, longer sigh as the last of the passengers disembarked and her colleagues could begin the tedious process of cleaning the plane before its next flight. However, when Ellen returned to the kitchen, she was shocked to discover that not all of the passengers had left the plane.
“Umm, excuse me, miss,” Ellen said nervously to the tall young woman, who regarded her with a stern stare. “This area is for employees only, I’m going to have to ask you to-“
“You know who I am,” the young woman replied in a refined Parisian accent that Ellen couldn’t help but think sounded a lot like Amelie’s- and her eyes widened as she realised that the intruder had a lot more than that in common with her fiancée.
“Ou- oui, pardonnez moi, Mademoiselle Masson,” Ellen whispered.
“That’s better,” Veronique Masson, Amelie’s older sister, replied as a scowl spread across her immaculately made-up face. “You also know why I’m here.”
“I- I think so,” Ellen mumbled.
“Good,” Veronique said. “My sister has always been headstrong. She has always believed she is cleverer than all of us, that she knows better, especially for her own self. I’m sure you believe she loves you. And you may love her. But she is fickle. She will grow tired of you just as she has her family. You will not find happiness with her.” Ellen gulped as she prepared her response- she knew that Amelie was prone to rash decisions and acting before thinking, but she also knew one far, far more important thing- that she loved Amelie, and Amelie loved her.
“I already have found happiness,” Ellen defiantly whispered.
“…Fine,” Veronique sighed. “If you will not listen to reason, you shall listen to this: Amelie will face punishment for the embarrassment she has caused our father, I assure you of that. Either you shall face it with her, or you shan’t. the choice is yours.”
“I- I’m sure the press will love that,” Ellen said, her voice approaching a low growl. “The owner of an airline that prides itself on being LGBT inclusive punishing his own daughter for being in a same-sex relationship. With someone who isn’t even transgendered?”
“Do not push your luck,” Veronique sneered. “You are just a poor girl from a poor home in in a poor city. Amelie deserves far, far better than you. And she will realise that soon.” Ellen felt her blood start to boil at the multiple layers of the older woman's insult. Ellen's mother hadn't been rich, and her house had been small, but she had always seen a working-class upbringing as a sign of strength, not weakness. And she was NOT going to allow a 'spoiled princess' like Veronique to insult her beloved home city.
“Yeah, I might not have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” Ellen retorted. “But that doesn’t make me any less than you. Amelie. Loves. Me. Don’t believe me? Ask her yourself.”
“This is your final warning,” Veronique sneered at the defiant young woman, before turning her back and disembarking the plane. Immediately as Veronique left the kitchen, Ellen slumped into a seat, trying desperately to catch her breath and prevent herself from panicking.
“Hey Ellen,” Hayley said as she entered the kitchen, “was that who I thought it w- El- Ellen? Are you okay?”
“Ugh, maybe, I dunno,” Ellen replied in a low moan. “And yes, yes that was Masson’s daughter. The older one, not the good one.”
“Think you might be biased there,” Hayley said, making Ellen giggle. “Guessing she was, you know, applying some ‘pressure’?”
“Something like that,” Ellen sighed. “God…”
“Gonna tell Amelie about this?” Hayley asked.
“I dunno,” Ellen sighed. “Reckon Veronique’s gonna go round there and tell her personally. God knows Amelie’s taken a LOT of crap from her family the last few months. And probably years too, come to think of it.”
“She always struck me as being, you know, confrontational…”
“A bit, yeah,” Ellen said with a snort of laughter. “Though I still reckon Fat Tony wouldn’t be anywhere near as pissed off if Amelie had shacked up with a guy instead of a girl. Maybe ‘cause he could intimidate a guy more, I dunno.”
“Or maybe it’s just another family torn apart by people who can’t accept others being LGBT,” Hayley said, musing on both the broken nature of her own home thanks to her and her father’s transition, and the family situation of her flat mate as well…
After arriving back home, Hayley joined her flat mates in watching a movie on Netflix and sharing a bottle of wine, before all three women opted for an early night. None of the trio had a flight the following day, but they all had busy days nonetheless that they wanted to be ready for- Amy most of all.
The ginger-haired woman was awake the following morning long before her phone’s alarm sounded, her anxiety about the coming day making it impossible for her to sleep. However, it wasn’t just Amy who was affected by her insomnia.
“Stop tossing and turning,” Hayley tiredly grunted as she heard her roommate’s sheets rustle yet again. “Honestly, the sooner Rachel moves in here the better, I bet she sleeps like a log.”
“Yes, yes, alright,” Amy sighed. “Can you blame me, though?”
“I- I guess not, under the circumstances,” Hayley sighed. “Between you today and Ellen and Amelie yesterday I’m kinda glad I’m not the only one with a messed-up family.”
“Hey, my family isn’t ‘messed up’,” Amy retorted. “Not- well- ugh, I dunno. Kinda why I’m so nervous about today, I haven’t seen Jade in what feels like AGES…”
“Yeah,” Hayley sighed sadly.
“And for the record, I’M rooming with Rachel,” Amy said, making her roommate snort with laughter.
“You wish,” Hayley scoffed. “I’d have thought you and Sophie would want to be together, anyway?”
“Oh- this AGAIN?” Amy groaned. “How many bloody times do I have to tell-“
“Okay, okay, I’m just messing with you,” Hayley giggled. “And keep the voice down, don’t want to wake the missus up, do you?” Hayley giggled again as her roommate’s only response was a very loud, very wet raspberry blown in her direction.
While Amy and Hayley were trying to sleep, another pair of Soixante-Trois Airlines’ flight attendants were already dressed and making their way to the airport to begin their shift. One of the two, however, was trembling with anticipation, not at what the day would bring, but the weeks afterward.
“Hello Mrs. R-T!” Rhianna teased as Jessica and Paige entered the cramped locker room. “And Mrs. R-T, of course!”
“Ah, thank you, thank you!” Paige giggled, before sighing as she took off her wedding and engagement rings and carefully locked them away in her locker. “One of these days we may actually be allowed to acknowledge that on a flight, heh.”
“Meh, safety, I guess,” Rhianna shrugged as she and her two friends changed into their blue uniforms. “At least one of you will be able to keep them off for three straight months in a few days’ time!”
“A few HOURS time,” Jessica retorted with a wide, smug grin. “Last shift before- well, ‘before’ today, hehe!”
“Eee, so exciting!” Rhianna squeaked. “And yes, I am SO jealous, heh.”
“It’ll be your turn soon,” Jessica said with a sympathetic smile.
“And take it from a girl who knows,” Paige said, “the recovery is a TOTAL pain, but in the long run, it is so worth it.”
“Heh,” Rhianna chuckled. “Where you off to today, Paige?”
“Amsterdam,” Paige replied. “Nice quick one. Before my two weeks off it’ll probably be Athens, heh.”
“You going to be Jessica’s nurse while she recovers, then?” Rhianna asked.
“Aye,” Paige replied with a wide smile. “I figured I’d return the favour. That, and wild horses couldn’t drag me away from her bedside while she’s laid up!”
“SO romantic,” Rhianna sighed happily.
“And then again over Christmas to go and visit Jess’s family,” Paige said. “Doubt we’d have both got the leave if it wasn’t for her, well, you know.”
“Not over Christmas for two years in a row, no,” Jessica nervously chuckled.
“How- how have your family reacted to- well, you know?” Rhianna hesitantly asked.
“…It was tough for them, at first,” Jessica whispered. “I mean, I’d been their son for 22 years, and even I’d resigned myself to the fact that… Umm, anyway, you know, when I started for the airline, it was, you know, an adventure? To see if I could live and work full-time as a woman. Back then, I genuinely never, NEVER thought it’d lead- well, to this.”
“I never doubted it,” Paige whispered, giving her wife’s hand a supportive squeeze.
“As for my family…” Jessica said contemplatively. “I guess they’ve just become used to it. Like they’ve become used to me living thousands of miles away over the last four years. It’s like ‘Jesse’ just ceased to exist when I moved to Paris and now here’s this woman who looks like him who’s taken his place, I dunno. All I do know is that if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a single thing.” Rhianna sighed happily as Jessica reciprocated her wife’s squeeze and gazed deeply into her mismatched eyes for a brief, loving moment.
“Again, SO romantic,” Rhianna sighed. “Anyway, we’d better get moving, Glasgow isn’t going to fly itself to our passengers, after all.”
“More’s the pity,” Paige said, earning a giggle from her fellow Scotswoman. “I’ll see you when you get home babe.”
“See you then,” Jessica whispered, giving her wife a gentle kiss before leaving the locker room with Rhianna in tow. Before the two women could get ten steps, however, they were intercepted by their manager, who had a serious look on her face.
“Jessica,” Alana said stoically. “Can I have a word, please?”
“Umm, sure…” Jessica replied. “Might be cutting it fine with the flight, though…”
“This won’t take five minutes,” Alana said as she led the American woman to her office, both women barely acknowledging the look of fury on Ellen's face as she passed them en route to the locker room.
"Ugh, GOD!" Ellen growled as she slammed her handbag down in her locker and let out a long, pained sigh.
"Umm... Hi, Ell?" Paige asked with a nervous wave. "Guessing everything's not okay, then?"
"You think?" Ellen snarled, before sighing. "Ugh, sorry Paige, it- it's just I got into a bit of an argument with Amelie last night, that's all."
"Was it your fault, or hers?" Paige asked.
"Neither, which is why it's so frustrating," Ellen sighed. "Her sister was on a flight yesterday."
"And given who the rest of her family is, that IS a big deal," Paige said with a nod.
"Exactly," Ellen sighed. "And she went to speak with Amelie yesterday and- ugh. Long story short, Fat Tony's making another attempt to split the two of us up and isn't above using his own daughter to threaten another daughter."
"Ugh," Paige spat. "Why can't he and his family just be happy for you and Amelie? It's not like he's the picture of a stable family unit anyway, with all the times he's been divorced, right?"
"If I knew, I'd tell you," Ellen sighed.
"Maybe it's because Amelie's, you know, 'in your face'?" Paige hesitantly asked.
"Given that the sister who came to see us yesterday was arrested in Paris in 2011 for IPM, I'm guessing that's not the reason," Ellen sighed. "Ugh, I dunno. Bitch even had the nerve to say that Amelie didn't really love me."
"She obviously doesn't know her own sister, then," Paige said, bringing a smile back to the northern girl's face.
"Heh, I guess not," Ellen whispered. "Then again, I didn't know about Natalie after living with her for fifteen years..."
"But you knew she still loved you, and always would," Paige said softly. "And take it from someone who knows about 'turbulent love'- so does Amelie. And you two WILL get through this. I already know which dress I'm wearing to the wedding too, hehe!"
"A bridesmaid's dress?" Ellen asked with a cheeky grin.
"Damn right," Paige giggled as she balanced her blue pillbox hat on her head and bade farewell to Ellen with a gentle hug.
Jessica tried not to fidget as she and Alana entered the small office in the bowels of the airport. Whatever reason Alana had for speaking to her privately, Jessica knew she wasn't going to like it.
“Is- is this about my leave?” Jessica asked, adjusting her tight skirt as she sat down opposite her manager.
“Yes, yes it is,” Alana replied. “Because the airline will be adding additional flights over the festive season, which will need supervisors, I’m afraid we’ve had to cancel your medical leave.” Jessica’s jaw dropped open, both at the news and the blunt, unapologetic way in which it was delivered.
“I- I’m sorry?” Jessica asked disbelievingly. “You literally just promoted Abbey to supervisor yesterday?”
“To replace someone who left the airline,” Alana said. “We don’t have the budget to promote anyone else at this time.”
“I thought- I thought the London hub received extra funding this year?” Jessica asked.
“Well you don’t deal with finance, so you don’t know the specifics,” Alana retorted. “Obviously we’ll also have to cancel your leave over Christmas as well.”
“I- ugh,” Jessica groaned. “My brother’s 21st birthday is on December 23rd, he’ll be gutted if I’m not there…”
“Well it’s not our problem that he was born so close to the busiest time of the year,” Alana said with a dismissive shrug. “You knew when you joined the airline that business needs come first, they always have.”
“When I joined the airline,” Jessica said, “transgendered employees’ right to 3 months leave for SRS was also guaranteed. It was bad enough that you only allow one of us that leave at a time…”
“Employment conditions are always subject to business needs,” Alana said. “We need bodies on those planes. End of story.” Jessica bit her scarlet-coloured lip as she listened to her manager’s explanation, and with every word she heard, all she could think of was how unfairly she was being treated, and how every time something like this had happened in the past, her friend Natalie would reply with one word: union. However, while Jessica acknowledged that she and her colleagues needed to have a stronger voice, especially when it came to negotiating with management, she also knew that without the support of most if not all of her colleagues, a union would collapse almost immediately and leave those responsible in a worse bargaining position than before- and there would always be those who would want to exploit the union for their own personal gain.
"I- I understand," Jessica whispered.
"Good," Alana said stoically. "Also, it would be best if you would erase any mention of the operation from your social media pages, so as not to cause any confusion. I also don't need to tell you the consequences of criticising this decision on your social media pages either."
"No," Jessica said as she felt her heart sink. With no way of arguing against her manager, Jessica excused herself, and, with a heavy heart, headed to her flight. Much to her surprise, though, her primary thought wasn’t about herself, but how disappointed her family would be not to see her over the holiday period- and how furious Paige would be when she learned the news…
“You okay?” Hayley asked Amy as the two of them headed east toward the ginger girl’s hometown.
“Hmm?” Amy asked. “Oh, umm, yeah, sure. Just, you know, tired…”
“And anxious,” Hayley whispered, giving her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“Okay, maybe a little,” Amy sighed. “I’m just glad I’m getting this over and done with early, heh.”
Hayley nodded and remained silent as their train continued eastward, sensitive of the tension that filled her friend’s body. It wasn’t until the two women had arrived at their destination, a small semi-detached house in the Sittingbourne suburbs, that either of them spoke again.
“You okay?” Hayley whispered as she and Amy walked through the small garden toward the house’s front door.
“I wish you’d stop asking that,” Amy groaned, before shaking her head. “I- I dunno. I mean, it’s been months…”
“You’ll be okay,” Hayley whispered, standing back as Amy rang the doorbell. Seconds later, the door was answered by a young woman around the same age as Amy, who tried unsuccessfully to suppress a frown as she saw the two visitors.
“Oh,” the young woman said. “Hello.”
“Hi,” Amy said softly. “I- I know we’re early, sorry about that, but I figured- umm, thought you’d want to get this over and done with, maybe?”
“Yeah,” the woman replied.
“Oh, umm, this is Hayley, by the way,” Amy said. “Hayley, this is Kerry.”
“Nice to meet you,” Hayley said, exchanging a gentle handshake with Kerry.
“Is- is Jade in?” Amy asked, smiling and nervously biting her lip as Kerry nodded and led them into the house’s cramped living room, where they found a small girl sat on the carpets, playing with her pink dolls' house.
“Hey there, Jade!” Amy cooed, her face lighting up at the sight of the little girl, who gasped with delight when she saw the ginger-haired woman.
“Auntie Amy!” Jade squeaked, jumping up to give Amy a tight hug. “Have you come to see me?”
“I have,” Amy replied with a smile that disguised the fact that deep down, her heart was breaking.
Amy and Hayley spent the next ninety minutes visiting with the young girl and her mother, exchanging stories of Jade’s school life and the friends she had made, as well as giving the young girl her new dress, which she eagerly modelled for the two women. Eventually, the time came for Amy and Hayley to leave, though the former didn’t do so until she’d exchanged one last, long hug with the little girl.
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Amy asked, trying her hardest not to shed any tears.
“Okay,” Jade shrugged, before breaking the hug and going back to playing with her dolls. “Bye Auntie Amy!”
“Take care in school,” Amy said in a hoarse voice. “And listen to your mother, okay?”
“I’ll make sure she will,” Kerry said in a clipped voice as she ushered her guests toward the exit. “Thank you for the dress, I’m sure she’ll love it.”
“If there’s anything more I can do, just let know, please?” Amy asked, smiling as Kerry nodded and shut the door on the duo. Immediately as the door closed, Amy let out a long, pained moan, before accepting her friend’s hug and gently weeping onto her shoulder.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Hayley whispered soothingly. “I can’t imagine how much that must suck, being called ‘auntie’ by your own daughter.”
“Thanks,” Amy whispered. “And thanks for coming along, I- I figure you’re the only person who’d understand, having a transgendered family member yourself.”
“Well- I- I guess,” Hayley sighed as she broke the hug. “Wish I could’ve been more practical help than just moral support, though. Has- has Kerry not said anything to Jade? I mean, she must ask about her father, right?”
“I guess,” Amy shrugged. “I only saw her a few times a year before- well, before Amy came along, heh. She was only just three when I started transitioning, probably doesn’t even remember ‘Andy’.”
“So where’s the harm in telling her that you’re the same person?” Hayley asked.
“Good question,” Amy snorted as she and Hayley headed back to the railway station. “Kerry says she’s ‘protecting’ Jade. God knows what from.”
“Yeah, I remember hearing a few arguments between my parents on the same topic,” Hayley snorted. “But- but I’m not a parent, I guess. What do I know?”
“You know there’s no shame in being trans,” Amy replied to her friend’s rhetorical question. “Or in having a trans relative. But- ugh, whatever. It’s not like Kerry’s banning me from seeing Jade or anything, I should be grateful for THAT at least.”
“Even if she’s forcing you to lie to her?” Hayley asked, and this time, Amy had no response. “I- I’m sorry…”
“No, you don’t have anything to apologise for, believe me,” Amy sighed. “I’ll be okay, honestly. One day, maybe Jade herself will acknowledge me as her father." Or maybe she'll never see me as a relative at all, Amy self-pityingly thought to herself as she and Hayley continued their slow journey home.
Meanwhile, in London, Sophie was also accompanying a friend to their relatives’ house, and just as with Amy and Hayley, both women were expecting it to be a tense affair.
“Thanks for this,” Rachel said as she let her friend into her home. “Hate asking for help like this, on your day off and all.”
“I don’t mind, really,” Sophie replied with a smile that she hoped would ease the nineteen-year-old woman’s tension. “I do kinda get how this might be tough, heh.”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing compared to what- well, girls like you, and Amy and Hayley…” Rachel mumbled.
“Doesn’t mean that this is- and I quote- ‘nothing’,” Sophie said softly. “It’s a big deal when you move out of home for the first time. At lot for you and your family to adjust to, just because ‘girls like me’ have an extra- well, ‘layer’ for want of a better word, doesn’t mean this is trivial for you.”
“I guess,” Rachel sighed as she headed into the kitchen where her mother was waiting. “Hey mum, Sophie’s here now, so we’re ready to, erm…”
“Okay,” Rachel’s mother said stoically, making Rachel bite her lip and fidget. “What date will you formally be moving into your friends’ flat?”
“Umm, probably a week tomorrow,” Rachel mumbled. “After my birthday. Want to get, you know, everything sorted out first…”
“Okay,” Mrs. Lyscombe said, leading to an awkward silence in the room that was broken by an unexpected source.
“Oh, give her a break mum,” the tired sounding voice of Rachel’s younger sister snorted. “She’s not gonna live here forever.”
“Thank you, Nicki,” Rachel said with a warm smile. “Even if you are only saying that as you want my bedroom.” Sophie and Rachel both giggled as the fourteen-year-old girl merely snorted and rolled her eyes in response.
“I know, I know, you’re technically an adult and you want your own space,” Rachel’s mother. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel responsible for you, doesn’t mean I don’t want to do all I can to protect you.”
“Mum, last week as part of my job, I flew to Barcelona,” Rachel reminded her mother.
“Yes, thanks for THAT,” Mrs. Lyscombe said, before sighing. “Just- just don’t completely drop off the face of the Earth, okay?”
“Okay,” Rachel said, before sighing and giggling as she leaned in to give her mother a gentle hug. “If it helps, just think of it this way- at least I’m not moving in with Lucas.”
“And thanks for THAT,” Mrs. Lyscombe chuckled. “Go on, go and get your stuff, heh.”
“Thanks mum,” Rachel said with a smile. “Nicki? Feel like giving us a hand?”
“Umm, let me think, no?” The fourteen-year-old girl replied with a sarcastic snort.
“Quelle surprise,” Rachel half-sighed and half-chuckled as she and Sophie headed up to her bedroom. “And thanks for this, Soph.”
“In fairness, I have been pestering you about moving in for weeks,” Sophie chuckled. “Would be kinda hypocritical to expect you to do all the work yourself.”
“Meh, Nicki’s right about one thing, it IS about time I got my own place,” Rachel replied. “Okay, own place with three other girls, heh.”
“Yeah, about the ‘girls’ thing,” Sophie said. “Your parents, they- they are okay about-“
“If they’re not, then it’s their problem and they can deal with it,” Rachel replied bluntly. “Same goes for Lucas.”
“Meh, he knows you’ll be sharing a room with Hayley and that she’s straight, right?” Sophie shrugged.
“Meh, true, I guess,” Rachel replied. "It's just- you know, I mean, I love you girls, I really do, but- but family is family, isn't it?"
"Yeah, that's true," Sophie replied, sighing as she mused on her own family, and how their response to her current living arrangements bore a strong resemblance to Rachel's family. Sophie couldn't help but wonder whose family would be the first to be happy for their daughter living life the way she wanted...
“This is gonna suck,” Jessica whispered to herself, letting out a light groan as she opened her front door and made her way into her small living room, where she sighed happily at the sight that greeted her.
The entire front room had been decorated with pink streamers hanging from the ceiling, and small American flags pinned to all but one wall, on which was a banner that read ‘Good luck girl!’. To Jessica, though, the best thing in the room were her two friends Natalie and Zoe, and best of all, her proudly grinning wife, who held a cake decorated with the image of the American flag, only with the red stripes swapped out in favour of a delicate pink colour.
“Good luck girlie!” Paige, Natalie and Zoe all simultaneously cheered, making Jessica giggle and blush. However, her surprise and elation were soon replaced with a feeling of sadness, as she realised that she’d have to tell her friends- and worst of all, her wife- that the celebration would be all for nothing.
“Hey, wifey!” Paige giggled as she gently put the cake on her coffee table and rushed to give Jessica a gentle, welcoming kiss. “Do you like your party? Nat said that we should have a proper, big party with everyone, but I knew you’d prefer a smaller one for now, especially as it's Rachel's birthday on Friday too. The big celebration can wait until you’re back on your feet, hehe!”
“I love it,” Jessica replied, gazing happily into her wife’s blue and green eyes and returning her kiss.
“Are you nervous?” Natalie asked as she poured the American woman a glass of wine. “I mean, god knows I’d be, even if it isn’t something I’m planning on doing, you know.”
“Yeah…” Jessica grimaced, before letting out a long sigh. “Girls, you- there’s, umm, there’s something I need to tell you all…”
“Oh- you’re not getting cold feet, are you?” Paige asked.
“No, definitely not,” Jessica replied. “I want this, believe me, I really do, I just- ugh. Alana said today-“
“No, never mind,” Paige growled. “Any sentence that begins ‘Alana said’ isn’t going to end well.”
“When- when did she say you could-“ Natalie hesitantly asked.
“Basically, she didn’t,” Jessica sighed. “Said demand for supervisors over Christmas was too high to let me have time off.”
“What- so we can’t even go to America for Christmas either?” Paige hissed. “Ugh, that- ugh!”
“Girls, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Natalie sighed.
“I know, that five letter word beginning with a ‘U’,” Jessica sighed. “Not going to do me any good in the short run though, is it? Doubt everyone will go on strike just to get me a holiday. Or a vagina, heh.”
“Either way, it is not fair to treat you like cattle like this,” Zoe spat. “Can you not do what we did, and get another job in another place?”
“Doubt that’ll be an option,” Jessica sighed. “Not when I’m only in the country on a work visa, especially with the dreaded B word coming up…”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Paige sighed, finishing her drink as the other three girls looked at her. “And you can apply for a spousal visa, right?”
“Yes, and I’ll have to go in front of a load of judges asking why I quit my job two months after getting hitched,” Jessica sighed. “I- I dunno. I mean, I’m sorry I’m bringing the mood down, especially when you’ve gone to all this trouble, and-“
“Don’t apologise, seriously,” Natalie said, leading Jessica to the sofa and gently sitting down next to her. “We’ll just have to celebrate again when you DO have your operation.”
“IF I have it, at this rate,” Jessica spat.
“Don’t- don’t say that,” Paige whispered, sitting down on the other side of her wife and wrapping her in a tight hug. “Ugh, though we’re definitely gonna have to tell your parents…”
“Ugh, they’re gonna LOVE this,” Jessica sighed. “Especially Aaron’s 21st…”
“Well- well you can call them later,” Natalie said. “Especially as it’s only 3:30pm there right now and I assume you both still have tomorrow off?”
“Yeah, we’ve got THAT at least,” Jessica snorted. “Ugh, I’ll call them later. Right now, I want to celebrate anyway. I can’t remember the last time it was just the four of us, you know? Just need to get Marie and Elsa here and we can have a real reunion, heh!”
“And we shall,” Zoe said confidently. “One of these days we shall go back to Paris, the six of us, but for fun, not for work.”
“Les survivantes de soixante-trois!” Natalie cheered.
“Les survivantes!” The four women toasted, before sitting back to enjoy the evening as best as they could.
Natalie and Zoe departed just after 9:30pm, and after Jessica and Paige had finished tidying up, the American woman took a deep breath to calm herself before dialling the longer number for her home in Baltimore.
“Hello?” Jessica’s mother asked as she answered the phone.
“H- hi mom, it’s Jess- it’s Jessica,” the blonde woman replied with a smile.
“Oh, hi Jessica!” Mrs. Tyler replied enthusiastically. “Today was your last day at work before- well, before your big day, wasn’t it?”
“Yep!” Jessica replied. “Well- well it was supposed to be, anyway.”
“Oh- what happened?” Jessica’s mother asked. “Are- are you having second thoughts?”
“No, not at all,” Jessica replied.
“Good,” Mrs. Tyler said, her response surprising her daughter.
“…What, really?” Jessica asked. “You and dad, you- you’ve never really been…”
“What, supportive of our daughter?” Mrs. Tyler asked, her voice conveying her offence at what her daughter insinuated.
“You- in the past, you-“ Jessica hesitated.
“In the past, we thought of you only as our son,” Mrs. Tyler said. “But over the last four years, you’ve shown us with everything you’ve said and done that ‘Jessica’ is the person you were always destined to be from the moment you were born. Your wedding was all the proof we needed.”
“Yeah,” Jessica said, smiling happily at the thought of the happiest day of her life.
“Speaking of which, how did Paige take the news?” Jessica’s mother asked.
“With unrestrained fury,” the American woman replied. “only slightly more than mine, heh.”
“Why is the operation being postponed, anyway?” Mrs. Tyler asked. “Is it due to work?”
“Yep,” Jessica sighed. “Apparently because I’m a supervisor, they need me for extra work, especially over the holidays.”
“Oh- so you can’t come over for Christmas either?” Jessica’s mother groaned. “Not even Aaron’s 21st?”
“Doesn’t look that way,” Jessica sighed, before pausing as her mother fell silent. “…Mom? You still there?”
“Just give me a second,” Mrs. Tyler said.
“You do know this is an international call, right?” Jessica asked.
“Yes, I do,” Mrs. Tyler replied in a tone that instantly silenced her daughter. Another minute passed before the middle-aged woman spoke again. “There. I’ve just sent an email to your Aunt Helen. Do you remember her?”
“Umm, barely,” Jessica replied. “She wasn’t at the wedding, don’t think I’ve seen her since- well, I don’t think she’s EVER met ‘Jessica’.”
“Maybe not,” Mrs. Tyler said. “But she always asks about you whenever she calls.”
“So- so how did she respond to ‘Jessica’?” The 26-year-old woman asked.
“Well, she’s just become the director of a new LGBT charity in New York, so you tell me,” Mrs. Tyler replied, sparking a memory within Jessica.
“Oh, of course,” Jessica said. “Aunt Helen was the one who grandma-“Jessica paused, fearful of reminding her mother of an unpleasant memory.
“…The one who my mother disowned for dating another woman,” Mrs. Tyler said quietly. “After your grandmother died last year, I reached out to her, and we’ve kept in touch.”
“Well- well that’s definitely cool,” Jessica said. “I’ll look her up on Facebook for sure, but why are you telling me about this?”
“Because she’s just become the director of a new LGBT charity in New York,” Mrs. Tyler repeated. “And she’s going to need people she can rely on working for her. Someone with experience of dealing with the public, extensive knowledge of LGBT issues, experience in a supervisory role… Sound like anyone you know?”
“Sounds like just about EVERYONE I know,” Jessica chuckled. “So- so are you saying that Aunt Helen would actually offer me a job?”
“No, I’m saying she’s offering you AND your wife jobs,” Mrs. Tyler replied. “Assuming Paige would want to live in New York?”
“Are you kidding?” Jessica laughed. “She’d jump so much at the chance she probably wouldn’t even need to fly to New York, heh. I just- I’m not sure I’m ready to, you know…”
“I know you love to travel,” Mrs. Tyler replied. “But you’ve lived in Europe for four years. Are there any European countries you HAVEN’T visited yet?”
“…I’ve never been to Andorra,” Jessica mumbled.
“Nor has anyone else,” Mrs. Tyler said. “And it’s been too long since you were last at home.”
“But- ugh, never mind,” Jessica chuckled. “I was going to say ‘Paige wouldn’t want to move away from her family’ but she’s only seen them three times in the last twelve months, INCLUDING the wedding.”
“And you know how much she loves America,” Mrs. Tyler said. “Five years and she can apply for citizenship, which you know she’d love.”
“As long as she doesn’t have to pledge allegiance to the person of the president,” Jessica chuckled.
“Presidents come and go,” Mrs. Tyler reminded her daughter. “Countries last much, much longer. And family is forever.”
“Yes,” Jessica thought out loud. “Yes, it is. Umm, I- I’ll talk to Paige about this. But I think I know what she’ll say. It- it’s just going to be hard to leave London, you know? You- you, dad, Aaron and Hayley, you- you aren’t my only family, you know?”
“I know,” Mrs. Tyler said. “But as just as we’ll always be your family, so will they, Natalie, Zoe and everyone. And it’s not like there aren’t regular flights from London to New York, you know?”
“I know,” Jessica said. "It's- I- I'm obviously going to have to talk to Paige about this."
"Take all the time you need," Jessica's mother said. "The job offer isn't going anywhere. And whatever you decide, know that we WILL love you, and we will support you."
"Thanks, mom," Jessica whispered, wiping a tear from her eye. "I'll call you in a bit, let you know what Paige says."
"Okay," Mrs. Tyler said. "Talk soon, daughter."
"Bye, mom," Jessica whispered, ending the call and heading back through to the living room, where her wife was waiting for her.
"What did she say?" Paige asked quietly.
"Umm... Nothing I was expecting," Jessica said, sitting down next to her wife and gently squeezing her hand.
"Wh- what is it?" Paige asked. "Is she alright?"
"She- she's fine, everyone's fine," Jessica replied, smiling as Paige breathed a sigh of relief. "Do you remember me telling you I had an aunt, who's estranged from the family?"
"I think you've mentioned her twice in all the time we've been together," Paige replied. "I know I've never met her, that's for sure. Or your grandparents, for that matter."
"Well, those two things are linked," Jessica whispered. "Long story short, my aunt is opening up an LGBT charity and wants us to work for her."
"Well, that's gre-" Paige said, before realising what her wife was implying. "Wait, you- you mean in America?"
"New York, to be precise," Jessica said. "The jobs, plural, are ours whenever we want them."
"But we'd have to leave London," Paige said. "And our friends..."
"I know," Jessica said, biting her scarlet-coloured lip to keep her emotions under control. "I- I know you always wanted to live and work in America, but- but I don't want to do this unless you truly, truly want to go. Wherever we go, we go together, always."
"Always," Paige whispered. "And I- I don't want to come between you and your SRS. I know, I said before the operation that it shouldn't change anything, but it- it really does, you know? I feel- I feel free, really free for the first time in my life, and I want you to feel the same way."
"I do," Jessica said, playing with the gold rings on her wife's left hand. "It's taken me this long to realise that you are all I truly need in my life."
"But you have wants as well as needs," Paige said. "And I have one want above everything else- I want you to be happy."
"As long as I have you, I am," Jessica whispered.
"Then I want you to be happIER," Paige said firmly. "And we both know it's not going to happen while we still work for the airline."
"If it wasn't for the airline, we wouldn't have each other," Jessica retorted. "God knows I probably wouldn't even be dreaming of SRS, let alone days away from going in for it."
"Same here," Paige said, smiling as she rubbed her thighs together and reminded herself of her new 'equipment'. "Jess, this- this has to be your decision."
"No," Jessica said, shaking her head. "it has to be OUR decision."
"...Then I know where I want us to be," Paige said, solemnly nodding her head.
The next day, Jessica and Paige walked into their manager's office and handed her their resignation notices. Rather than argue, Alana simply accepted the resignations and wished her former employees luck, and as a final gesture, excused the pair from working their notice period. The following Tuesday, Jessica went into hospital and underwent the operation she had longed for for so long, and two weeks after that, the pair entered Heathrow airport again, where tears were almost immediately shed. Not just because of the knowledge that they would not return for a long, long time, but because of the size of the crowd that had turned out to greet them.
"Oh- oh my god, you guys," Jessica blubbed as the assembled women began to crowd around her wheelchair.
"Did you really think we would stay away?" Zoe asked as she exchanged a long, tearful hug with both departing women. "You have both been in my life for so long, I cannot imagine it without you."
"And you won't have to," Paige reminded her French friend. "We're only ever a phone call or a Skype session away. And we'd better hear from you at least once a week!"
"It shall be tough to not call you once an hour!" Zoe sniffled, before giggling and exchanging another hug with each of the women.
"You do know you're leaving me in the fucking lurch, right?" Anna-Jade said with a grin that hid her emotional state.
"If anyone will survive, it's you," Jessica chuckled.
"It's gonna be much harder to without you two, honeys," Annabelle sighed as she took her turn to hug the married couple. "You two had better save a spare bed for me in New York, you hear?"
"Anytime you want to come over, you don't even need to ask," Jessica said, smiling as she hugged Annabelle again, safe in the knowledge that what feud they once had was long since over. "And well done on the promotion, of course!"
"These should be your buttons," Annabelle mumbled as she fiddled with the new gold-coloured fastenings on her blue blazer. "But thanks, honey. And good luck. Though I kinda feel you won't need it!"
"Well I will!" Abbey said as she hugged the married couple. "You leaving leaves me at the end of our little mentor-student 'food chain', you know?"
"Not quite," a bubbly German voice said, making Jessica gasp with shock. "What, was I meant to not say goodbye to the best pupil I ever had?"
"Oh my god, Elsa!" Jessica squeaked as she hugged the tall, slender woman. "And- and Marie too!?"
"It was bad enough when one sister moved to London," Marie said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Now two sisters are moving across the ocean!"
"Where we'll still be sisters, always," Paige said as she hugged the Frenchwoman.
"As will we," Rachel Harrison said as she hugged Jessica and Paige. "I would say 'stay out of trouble', but I know that one, you won't, and two, New York could use a little of your special brand of 'trouble', hehe!"
"You know it!" Jessica giggled, before sighing as the remaining six women approached her. "And I know I'm leaving this place in good hands, heh!"
"Ahh," Amy sighed as she leaned in for her hug. "Just wish I'd got to know you two better, heh."
"Ah, there's still time," Paige retorted as she hugged Hayley, then Rachel Lyscombe. "And we are TOTALLY coming back for you two's wedding, hehe!"
"I should hope so!" Amelie said, letting go of her fiancée’s hand long enough to hug her former mentor.
"And as for you," Jessica said quietly as Sophie leaned in for her hug, "I hope you find the answers you're obviously looking for. All I can say is keep doing what you're doing and you'll be okay. And never forget the family you have here."
"I won't, I promise," Sophie replied as she mused once again on the many families she had.
Floods of tears were shed by all the women as the Transatlantic flight was called, and the married couple headed off to start their new life in America. Once the flight was high over the Atlantic, Paige glanced across at her wife, a smile slowly creeping across her lips.
"Hey," Paige whispered. "You okay?"
"Hmm?" Jessica replied. "Yeah, umm, just a little sore. NOT looking forward to dilating when we land, though I guess it's better than trying to do so in an airplane bathroom, heh."
"I could always hold the door open if you'd like?" Paige asked, smiling as her wife giggled. "Okay, when we land it is. God, it just seems so weird, you know? Like, we're finally going to be living as who we want, living happily ever after..."
"Nah," Jessica said, shaking her head to her wife's confusion. "'Happily ever after' is what they write at the end of the story. And ours is just beginning..."
“Honestly, there were times I thought this day would never come,” Sophie said as she fidgeted nervously in her smart blue pencil dress and matching designer heels. “And I definitely never pictured it being under these circumstances.”
“Well, regardless of the circumstances, you definitely deserve to feel proud,” Amy advised her friend, who smiled in response.
“Definitely,” Hayley concurred. “Just a pity you can’t take any of the credit for it…” Sophie nodded sadly as she gazed out at the large crowd that had formed outside the bookstore, and at the blonde woman sat at the table behind several copies of the book that was being launched- a book that Sophie wrote every word of, but which had another woman's name on the cover- the name in question being Rachel Harrison.
Sophie felt ambivalent about the prospect of another woman taking the credit for her work. On the one hand, Rachel was a friend, a close friend, even and she had been the one to originally commission Sophie to write the book. The nature of the material in the book was so inflammatory that if Sophie’s name had been on the front cover, it would have got her in a lot of trouble- not in the least because she was blowing the whistle on the very company she continued to work for. But on the other hand, as Sophie often had to remind herself, she wasn’t a stewardess. She was a journalist, a writer, and her lifelong dream had been to have a book published. After eighteen months of hard work interviewing, researching and compiling, she had achieved that goal, but only a select few people would have any knowledge of her involvement in the publication, and that it should be Sophie’s name on the cover, not Rachel’s.
However, as Sophie had to remind herself with increasing frequency, ‘Sophie’ wasn’t even her real name…
“Tomorrow is NOT going to be fun,” Hayley said. “Alana is going to go MENTAL.”
“Oh god, and how!” Amy chuckled. “Wouldn’t be surprised if Masson himself shows up. Which, of course, means that all days off will be cancelled so we can get called in for a bollocking.”
“Yeah, well, even if he does, there’s nothing he can do,” Sophie said. “Everything in that book is factual and/or anecdotal. Rachel and I consulted a very expensive lawyer before publication to ensure we’re not at risk of any libel charges.”
“Meh, you know that Masson will do SOMETHING, even if just to save face,” Amy shrugged. “God knows I wouldn’t want to be Rachel right now.”
“Even if she is wearing a REALLY cute skirt,” Hayley said, earning nods from her two friends- even Sophie, who found herself making a mental note to search online for Rachel’s skirt when she returned home- and for her top and her shoes, too.
“Eh, I guess there’s no sense in worrying about it if it hasn’t happened yet,” Amy shrugged. “There’s no way he can trace anything in that book back to any of us, is there, Soph?”
“Not a chance,” Sophie replied. “Trust me when I say I was very careful about keeping real names hidden.” And there we go again about ‘real names’, Sophie thought to herself.
“Oh, we definitely trust you,” Hayley said. “But you interviewed a lot of people for this book, and I wouldn’t put it past Masson to offer, you know, a bounty or something for, you know, info, or names…”
“Not thinking of any of your former trainees in particular?” Amy asked her dark-haired friend, causing her to frown.
“…Alicia’s a decent girl,” Hayley replied. “Yes, she takes her job seriously, but she’s not, you know, THAT much of a brown-noser.”
“We hope,” Amy said, before grinning as the bookstore doors opened and the readers began flooding in, each armed with copies of Sophie's- or rather, Rachel’s book.
A short while later, after the crowds had dissipated, Sophie smiled as she approached Rachel, who let out an exaggerated sigh of relief.
“Well, we’re in it now,” Rachel mused. “No putting the genie back in this bottle, heh.”
“Yep,” Sophie sighed. “I still don’t think we’re going to get any trouble from Masson, though…”
“Well- YOU won’t,” Rachel chuckled. “He’ll probably make a lot of noise about this, throw his weight around… I knew what I was getting into when I asked you to write this book, heh. But, it’s now written, so technically, you’re a free woman- or even a free man, if that’s what you really want…”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“Seriously, though,” Rachel said. “Why are you still working for the airline? The book’s published now, it’s gonna be a big hit and you’re going to get a lot of money from it. You’ve always said you wanted to be a journalist, so what’s stopping you?”
“Well- that is the question, I guess,” Sophie sighed. “And honestly, I- I dunno.” However, despite her feigned sincerity, Sophie strongly suspected the main reason why she continued to work for the airline, despite her earlier mental assertion that she wasn't a stewardess, was the many friends she had made.
Sophie believed, of course, that she could just as easily make friends at any other job she chose to do. She strongly doubted, however, that she’d feel as close to any potential new friend as she did to Amy, Hayley, either of the two Rachels she counted as friends, or any of the other women she’d befriended during her time working for Soixante-Trois Airlines. The main reason for that, Sophie believed, was that Sophie couldn’t envisage any other workplace being so accepting of someone calling themselves both ‘Sophie’ and ‘James’.
Sophie had long since come to terms with the fact that even after 23 years as ‘James’, ‘Sophie’ would always be a part of her life, just as it had been for the prior eighteen months. Even during that short space of time, applying make-up, walking in heels and painting her nails had become as natural to ‘Sophie’ as shaving facial hair was to ‘James’. Sophie was determined that no matter where she worked in the future, no employer would be able to force her to give up her femininity- though there was one final obstacle that was preventing her from having the best of both worlds.
When ‘James’ came out to his parents and explained about ‘Sophie’, they had initially been accepting- but their acceptance had a condition attached to it. They approved of ‘James’ becoming ‘Sophie’ to work on the expose- but only to work on the expose. Now that the expose was not just finished, but published, Sophie was sure that no excuse would be good enough for her parents to let her keep being ‘Sophie'- not even the second book she was working on.
“I suppose that by working for the airline, you do get good material for your next project,” Rachel shrugged. “What is it again, a look at the world of femininity through the eyes of a man, that sort of thing?”
“Something like that,” Sophie replied.
“Well, I know I’m looking forward to reading it,” Rachel said with a smile. “And yes, I will pay for it rather than get a copy free, hehe!”
“Thanks,” Sophie chuckled.
“Though to be honest, like I've said before,” Rachel said quietly, “I- and believe me, I absolutely do mean this as a compliment, I- I don’t actually see you as a man. Not really, anyway… Sorry?”
“No need to apologise,” Sophie shrugged. “Truth be told, I- I don’t see myself as fully male either, not anymore, anyway. I mean, I’m not fully female either, I’m, like, somewhere in-between… Maybe 75 to 80 per cent female, I dunno. But-“
“But you like being ‘in-between’?” Rachel asked, smiling as Sophie nodded. “Absolutely nothing wrong with that. The world would probably be a better place if more people were allowed to be ‘in-between’.”
“No argument here,” Sophie chuckled, before sighing. “I’d better get home now, I’m not booked on a flight tomorrow but I reckon Alana’s gonna be on the warpath, so I’d better get an early night just in case.”
“Okay,” Rachel said. “I’d better be getting to the pub too, don’t like leaving ‘him indoors’ in charge for too long, heh.”
“See you soon,” Sophie said, grinning as she exchanged a gentle hug with the blonde woman, before heading toward the nearest tube station. As she headed home, Sophie consoled herself with one thought- even if she ended up working somewhere that didn’t tolerate both ‘James’ and ‘Sophie’, she would always have the friendship of women like Rachel and her flatmates to rely on.
Sophie arrived home a short while later and flopped onto the flat’s large sofa, tired from the day’s events. Her tiredness soon dissipated, though, when her flatmates emerged from the kitchen to welcome her home- and to tease her like the old friends they were.
“That’s right, you just put your feet up,” Amy said, smirking as Sophie responded with a stuck-out tongue. “We’ll get dinner ready, make your bed too… Maybe madam would like her sheets changed?”
“Bite me,” Sophie said, earning giggles from Amy and Hayley. “What time’s Rachel due back?”
“She was in Athens today, so probably late,” Hayley replied. "Pity she couldn't make it to the launch today."
"More like 'miracle that all three of us COULD'," Amy retorted. "But it was nice to, you know, have one last 'Team ASH' thing together, you know?"
"'One last Team ASH thing'?" Sophie asked. "What, are either of you two going somewhere?"
"Well- no," Amy replied. "But- but are you seriously telling me you're going to keep working for the airline, now that you're, like, a published author?"
"I'm not planning on going anywhere," Sophie replied. "And besides, even if I did work somewhere else, we'd still be Team ASH, right?" Sophie grinned as her two friends both started to blush.
"Always," Hayley said with a shy giggle. "But you really want to keep working for the airline?"
"Why does everyone keep asking that?" Sophie asked with a loud sigh. "It's not THAT bad a place to work."
"You literally just wrote a book on how it IS, or at least can be an unpleasant place to work," Amy retorted.
"Well- that's journalism," Sophie shrugged. "Sometimes you write about things you don't fully agree with."
"That would explain the people who write for The Sun, I suppose," Hayley shrugged, earning a sarcastic snort from Sophie.
"Oh please," Sophie grumbled. "Don't insult the profession of journalism by suggesting that the people who write for THAT rag have anything to do with it." Sophie felt a warm feeling swell inside her as she and her flatmates shared a giggle while they waited for their food to cook.
Sophie spent the rest of the evening relaxing and watching television with the other members of ‘Team ASH’, and feeling more content than she had ever been. Amy and Hayley weren't just her friends- they were her family in every way that mattered, and Sophie wasn't about to give that up for anything. Amy and Hayley headed to bed shortly after 9:30pm as both women had flights the following day; but Sophie waited up a little longer for her other flatmate to return, and was rewarded when the young blonde woman came through the door just after 10:15pm.
“Hi Rachel!” Sophie said with a grin.
“Hey Soph!” The bubbly voice of Rachel Lyscombe replied as she kicked off her heels and lowered herself onto the sofa next to her friend. “Good day today?”
“Yep!” Sophie replied with a grin. “Spent most of it with your namesake, heh.”
“Oh- god, of course, the launch!” Rachel said. “Sorry I couldn’t come, but, you know, work…”
“Well, it’s not like you can help that, heh!” Sophie giggled. “I’ve had a look online to see if there’s been any response, but it doesn’t look like there’s much yet, just a few generic reviews on Amazon… I- you know, I- I feel a little guilty? About, you know, ‘biting the hand that feeds me’?”
“I suppose,” Rachel shrugged. “But didn’t you only get the job in the first place to write the book?”
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Sophie replied. “I just- I dunno. Growing up, I always wanted to be, you know, a journalist who got all the big scoops, who exposed, like, fraud and corruption, that sort of thing… Say what you will about Masson, he’s no fraudster, nor is he corrupt…”
“Meh, you don’t get to be as rich as he is without, you know, a few words in the right ears,” Rachel shrugged. “I was with Ellen on today’s flight, she told me a few things Amelie’s told her that could fill another book, heh.”
“Maybe I’ll have to have a word with her,” Sophie said with a shrug, making her young friend giggle.
“And it’s not like working conditions are perfect,” Rachel said. “The sooner I get out of this corset, the better, and my feet are KILLING me. Though at least I got through the whole day without any lewd comments from horny passengers, heh. Though that’s only because on red route, you mostly get holidaymakers instead of the sexually repressed businessmen, heh. NOT looking forward to Paris on Friday, though at least I get to sleep in tomorrow.”
“Unless Alana calls us all in to discuss the book,” Sophie says, smirking as her friend rolled her eyes and groaned.
“Don’t even joke about that,” Rachel sighed. “…Meh. Either way I’m knackered, heh. Gonna head to bed now, what time will you be along?”
“I’ll be along after you stop texting Lucas from bed,” Sophie replied. “Valentine’s Day was LAST week.”
“Meh,” Rachel shrugged. “We just like celebrating it, hehe!”
“Yes, on the other 364 days of the year as well,” Sophie said with a playful sigh. “Go on, I’ll let you have the bathroom first.” Sophie grinned as her young friend giggled, before skipping off to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As she watched Rachel walk away, Sophie mused to herself on how her desire- or even need- to have both 'James' and 'Sophie' in her life would make it all the harder to find room for anyone else. If 'Sophie' had never existed, 'James' wouldn't have had any problem looking at Rachel and seeing a beautiful young woman and potential girlfriend. For 'Sophie', however, regardless of how attractive she found Rachel, she would always be a friend first and foremost, even if her boyfriend wasn't getting in the way. Sophie couldn't help but wonder if this would be the case for every woman she met, and whether or not anyone would ever be able to love both 'James' and 'Sophie' in equal measure...
The following morning, Sophie was woken up not by the alarm on her phone, but by an incoming call, and the brown-haired woman immediately groaned when she saw the caller ID.
“That took long,” Sophie sighed sarcastically before answering the call. “Hello?”
“Hi Sophie, it’s Gemma,” the voice of one of the airline’s secretaries replied. “We’re going to need you to come in today for a meeting, if you’re available?”
“Umm, sure, I can come in,” Sophie said, trying her hardest to disguise that her heart had jumped into her throat. They couldn’t have found out this quickly, surely? Sophie thought to herself.
“Good,” Gemma said. “If you see Rachel, tell her we need to see her as well.”
“Umm, okay,” Sophie replied with confusion- while Rachel had contributed to the book, Sophie had made sure that she couldn’t be identified- all names had been changed, and all other details had been fudged to make it almost impossible for the airline to identify specific flights or customers being mentioned in the book. “What time do we need to be there?”
“As soon as possible,” Gemma replied. “You won’t be required on a flight, but you will need to change into your uniform and be prepared to stay all day. You will receive overtime for the time you stay today.”
“Thanks,” Sophie said, before taking several deep breaths to calm herself while her roommate stirred in the room’s other bed.
“Mmph,” Rachel moaned as she rubbed the tiredness out of her eyes. “Soph? Who were you talking to?”
“Work,” Sophie sighed. “Guess who’s being called in, and why?”
“Ugh, I’m sorry, Soph,” Rachel sighed, before rolling back over in bed.
“All of us,” Sophie said with a soft sigh. “I’m sorry, Rach.”
“Ugh, never mind,” Rachel moaned as she got out of bed. “Think we could’ve predicted that would happen. Have Amy and Hayley already left?”
“Yeah, think I heard them go out earlier,” Sophie sighed. “Do you want the shower first?”
“Nah, you can go,” Rachel moaned, before crashing back down onto her bed. “Umm, weren’t you going to visit your parents today?”
“Ah- ugh, crap,” Sophie groaned as she reached for her phone again. “They were really looking forward to reading the book, too…”
“Weren’t they at the launch yesterday?” Rachel asked.
“Ah- no, no they weren’t,” Sophie replied. “…Because ‘James’ wasn’t, either.”
“Ah,” Rachel said, before sighing. “And I thought I had problems with my parents, heh.”
“Still getting grief for moving out?” Sophie asked.
“A bit,” Rachel shrugged. “I will confess, though, I- I really do have it easy compared to you, heh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie sighed. “I suppose I’d better call them, let them know…”
“I’ll take the shower first, then,” Rachel said as she got out of bed. “Give you a little privacy.”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered as she nervously dialled her parents’ home phone number.
“Hello?” The familiar voice of Martin Connolly said into the phone, pausing as his child took a deep breath.
“Hi dad,” Sophie said in a voice that was unmistakably ‘James’s.
“James!” Martin said with obvious delight in his voice. “How are you, son? I thought we were going to see you later, why are you calling now?”
“Well, yeah, that- that’s kinda why,” James sighed. “I got called into work today, some kind of emergency meeting, so- yeah.”
“When you say ‘work’,” Martin said in a dark voice, “you mean the airline, don’t you?”
“Well- yeah, kinda…” James replied with a grimace.
“James, you’ve published your book now,” Martin reminded his son. “The only reason you should be going into that job is to tell them what to do with it! The job, and the uniform!”
“Well, I-“ James stammered.
“Unless you’re telling me now that you actually enjoy the job?” Martin asked. “Or the uniform?”
“Well- no, no, of course not,” James replied, biting his lip at his lie. “It’s just if- if I quit now, when the book’s just been published, it will look kinda suspicious? If I give it a few months…” James bit his lip again as he withheld information about his second book from his father, knowing that he wouldn’t react well to the knowledge of its existence.
“I thought you said you were free from any criminal liability for publishing it?” Martin asked.
“Well- yes, I am,” James replied. “But there’s no sense in drawing attention to myself, I mean, just because they can’t sue me for libel doesn’t mean they can’t try to make a case for, erm, lost earnings…”
“Why are they calling you in today anyway?” Martin asked. “I thought your next flight wasn’t until Saturday?”
“Almost certainly because of the book,” James replied. “Hey, maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll fire me?” James grimaced at the sarcastic tone of his voice, though luckily for him, his father didn’t seem to notice.
“Well, if you do, we’ll be in all day,” Martin said with a loud, exasperated sigh. “Just make sure you change before coming round!”
“Will do,” James said. “See you, dad.”
“Talk soon, son,” Martin said, before hanging up the phone.
Sophie let out a long, exasperated sigh as she sat down on her bed. While compiling both her books, she’d been told numerous stories about how people in her situation had faced discrimination, and even outright rejection from their families because of they needed to live their lives, but she’d also been encouraged by many stories of how these same families had come around, had accepted, loved and even encouraged their new daughters. Every story Sophie had heard had made her hopeful that one day, maybe, her parents would accept their new daughter, even if only on a part-time basis. However, with every phone call she made to her parents, she saw that possibility slipping further and further away…
Just over an hour later, Sophie and Rachel strode through the employees-only section of the vast Heathrow airport, the brown-haired woman mentally reassuring herself with every step that if everyone had been called in, it meant she hadn't been singled out, so she shouldn't be as worried as she was. However, with every reassuring thought she had, another thought popped into her mind to remind her that it might just be herself and Rachel that was called in, and her book may well have got her friend fired as well as herself…
Sophie’s paranoia was eased, though, when she opened the door to the locker room and found it crammed with her friends and colleagues in varying stages of undress. Sophie and Rachel had to fight through the throng to reach their lockers, with Sophie tripping over someone’s handbag just as she reached her locker, and was only prevented from hitting it head-first by a long, slender arm that appeared almost out of nowhere.
“Whoa, careful, honey!” The soft Southern voice of Annabelle Cope said as she caught Sophie.
“Thanks!” Sophie chuckled. “God, I’ve never seen this place so crammed…”
“I know,” Annabelle said, before lowering her voice to a whisper. “And I think I know why too, honey.”
“Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out,” Sophie grimaced. “I’m surprised they called EVERYONE, though…”
“Well- and you didn’t hear this from me, okay, honey?” Annabelle said. “I’ve heard a rumour that the boss is here today.”
“What, Alana?” Sophie asked. “What’s so unusual about that?”
“Not her, honey,” Annabelle said. “THE boss. The big boss? Someone said they saw a few girls pass through earlier in dark blue uniforms like ours. DARK blue uniforms. Those are only used on his private jet.”
“Ooh…” Sophie said, grimacing as a painful feeling swelled in her stomach.
“Don’t panic, honey,” Annabelle said, placing a supportive hand on her friend’s shoulder. “We’re all here for you. We’re a sisterhood. We know why you did what you did and we all- ALL support you. So quit worrying. Though I gotta confess, I do wonder why you’re even still working for the airline?”
“Literally everybody short of the Queen has asked me that in the last few days,” Sophie chuckled. “And- ehh, I dunno. Maybe by the end of today that decision will get made for me?”
“No need to admit defeat before you’ve even started, honey,” Annabelle said. “And god knows I’d miss you now that Jess and Paige have gone. Not to mention Nat, Zoe, Anna-Jade… I like seeing a friendly face when I come into work, you know?”
“Yeah,” Sophie said, a wide, warm smile spreading across her face. “I definitely do know that.”
Minutes later, all of the women present, dressed in their smart blue uniforms, assembled in the airline’s cramped conference room. Sophie felt herself fidget nervously in her seat as Alana strode purposefully to the front of the room, a look of barely restrained fury on her face.
“Thank you all for coming in at short notice,” Alana said in a curt voice. “As some of you may be aware, a former employee of the airline, Rachel Harrison, yesterday published a book, a so-called ‘tell-all’ about life working for the airline.” Here it comes… Sophie thought to herself. “It should go without saying that management does not endorse or even approve of this publication. Management considers many of the anecdotes contained in the book to be defamatory in nature, and we will be pursuing legal action against Ms. Harrison, both to suppress publication of the book and to seek damages. However, we are also aware that Ms. Harrison was not alone in working on this book.” Sophie felt her heart start to race as her manager glanced over the entire crowd. “If any member of staff is found to have contributed to the book, they will be subject to disciplinary action up to and including immediate dismissal. We will be conducting meetings with all of you over the next few weeks. If any of you have any information you wish to give beforehand about the book, please, feel free to do so.” Sophie felt her entire body tighten as she glanced around the room- suddenly, all of her friends and colleagues became potential threats. “In the meantime, management will be putting out a statement later today condemning the book and urging passengers and members of the public not to buy it.” Ouch, Sophie thought to herself as Alana finished her speech and asked for questions from the crowd. Much to Sophie’s delight, though, the first question asked was the one she'd hoped the most would be asked.
“How true are the things that are written in the book?” Daisy, one of the newer stewardesses, asked.
“Well, that’s not relevant,” Alana replied in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. “And I’m a bit disappointed that you felt the need to ask that, Daisy.” Sophie bit her lip to ease her guilt as the young woman started to blush. “The fact is, this book was published without our consent or even our knowledge, and it could potentially damage our business.” In short, everything I wrote is true, Sophie thought to herself.
“What if we’re asked about the book on a flight?” Danni, another relatively new stewardess, asked.
“Then you’re to reply with ‘no comment’,” Alana replied. “Or to direct the passenger to the official statement we’re putting out later today. Under no circumstances are you to discuss any element of the book with members of the public in or out of work. On that note, we will be searching lockers later today as well, and if we find any copies of the book in your possession, you will be subject to disciplinary action as well.”
“Will management address any of the criticisms in the book?” A voice from the back of the room asked, which Sophie would've immediately identified even if it wasn't for their thick Manchester accent.
“…Management will consider any suggestions sent through proper channels,” Alana replied, her eyes shooting daggers at the Mancunian woman. “NOT through a piece of libellous, badly-written fiction.” Sophie bit her lip to keep herself from objecting to Alana’s assessment of her work- she knew it was well-written, and Alana was likely trying to get a rise out of someone, meaning she didn’t know who exactly had ghost-written it for Rachel…
“If there are no further questions, you’re free to go back home,” Alana said. “See Gemma on the way out about claiming for your overtime. Ellen- you stay.” The room fell silent as Ellen froze on the spot, her cheeks reddening as every pair of eyes in the room turned in her direction. Sophie felt another pang of guilt well up inside her as her friend was singled out, not just because of the unwanted attention Ellen was getting, but also because she could make for an excellent scapegoat…
“Sophie- you too,” Alana said, making every muscle on Sophie’s body tense up as the inquisitive eyes turned away from Ellen and toward her.
“Wh- what?” Sophie asked.
“We’ll need to speak to you once we’re done talking to Ellen, so stay at the airport,” Alana commanded, maintaining a neutral expression on her face that Sophie tried desperately but was unable to read.
“Umm…” Sophie said, biting her tongue to keep her from asking ‘why’, as she feared what the answer would be.
“Wait in the locker room, we’ll call you when we need you,” Alana said, before turning to Ellen with an angry look in her eyes. “Let’s go.” Sophie felt her hands turn to ice as she followed her colleagues back to the locker room, where everyone- everyone except Sophie, that is- changed out of their uniforms.
“I wouldn’t worry too much, honey,” Annabelle said to Sophie as she removed her skirt, hat and blazer. “They’re probably just calling people in alphabetically, you know, like Ellen’s surname begins with a B, yours begins with a C…”
“Yeah, but so does yours,” Sophie reminded her colleague. “And they haven’t asked you to stick around.”
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Annabelle conceded. “But you got nothing to worry about, really.”
“Definitely,” Rachel said as she approached accompanied by her former trainee, who was struggling to keep tears out of her eyes.
“Hey, Daisy,” Sophie said softly as the two young women sat down next to her. “Are- are you okay?”
“Meh, I guess,” Daisy mumbled in reply. “I just- I’ve never been spoken to like THAT before, not even at school…”
“No one should be,” Annabelle said. “I dunno what’s happened to this place. When I started working here- well, in Paris- I mean, it wasn’t a perfect place to work, and the senior management’s attitude to women and transgendered people in general left a LOT to be desired, but- but we were at least treated like adults, you know?”
“Didn’t Alana used to be a flight attendant herself?” Daisy asked.
“Before my time,” Annabelle replied. “Though I definitely agree that she IS the problem here. Some people just ain’t any good as a manager.”
"There's some serious Peter Principle going on there," Sophie mumbled in agreement.
“Does she have a superior, though?” Rachel asked. “Someone we can speak to if we have any concerns?”
“Not in London,” Annabelle sighed. “Ah well, I guess… And I suppose, you know, there are worse bosses.”
“I guess,” Rachel shrugged. “I’m going to head home now Soph, okay? Call me when you get out of the meeting.”
“Sure,” Sophie whispered as one by one, her friends and colleagues finished changing and left, leaving Sophie by herself when Alana eventually came to collect her.
Sophie felt her whole body trembling with nerves as she walked the short distance toward her manager’s office, even though logically, she knew she had nothing to worry about. Even if she was fired and her involvement with the book became public, all that would happen is that her journalism career would be bolstered. Even if she was added to the lawsuit against Rachel, she knew that everything written in the book, despite being anecdotal, was truthful and could be verified. Even if she ended up having to move out of her flat, she knew that the airline couldn’t prevent her from being friends with the rest of the former Tutu Project. And even if she had to move back in with her parents and become ‘James’ again, it wouldn’t necessarily mean that ‘Sophie’ would completely cease to exist. So why, Sophie thought to herself, am I so anxious?
“Take a seat,” Alana ordered, and Sophie relaxed as she sat down, only to tense up again when she saw that sat opposite her wasn’t just her line manager, but also the unmistakable face of Antoine Masson himself.
“Sophie,” Alana continued as she sat down. “We know you’re close friends with Rachel Harrison. We know you’ve introduced Rachel Lyscombe and several other new hires to her, despite our disapproval. And we know you have a degree in journalism. And, also, we know you are not taking any medical steps to transition from male to female. Do you deny any of this, Sophie?”
“…No,” Sophie mumbled as she gripped the arms of her chair for support.
“I didn’t think so,” Alana said. “So we’re giving you this one-time offer. Tell us why you wrote the book, tell us how you wrote it, and tell us who you interviewed, and we won’t include you in any legal action that we pursue.” Sophie felt her heart race as she looked into Alana’s eyes- it was clear that the older woman was deadly serious both in her offer, and what the consequences would likely be if Sophie didn’t accept it. However, Sophie also knew what the consequences would be for anybody whose name she divulged- and every name she could provide was the name of a friend. With only two options before her- save her own skin or protect her friends- it took virtually no time for Sophie to make her decision.
“I have no knowledge about how this book was written,” Sophie replied, flinching slightly as Monsieur Masson snorted and rolled his eyes.
“This offer will not be on the table for long,” Alana said, anger slowly seeping into her voice. “Consider your position here carefully, Sophie.”
“I don’t have the answers you’re looking for,” Sophie asserted.
“Listen to me, you stupid girl,” Monsieur Masson sneered. “This book is going to cost me money. And it is going to make you money. Do you think I cannot afford a legion of lawyers to get me that money?” Sophie gulped as the billionaire stared furiously into her eyes. She had no doubt that he had the wealth and influence to make her life VERY miserable. However, Sophie also knew how the media, specifically, the press worked. She likely had even more knowledge in that field than Monsieur Masson did, and two words popped into her mind that emboldened her resolve- the words ‘Streisand Effect’.
“…But how would it look in the press,” Sophie asked in a quivering voice, “a big company suing one of its own employees without any proof?”
“We can get an injunction preventing the press from reporting on it,” Alana retorted with a smug look on her face.
“You're a United fan, like me," Sophie shrugged. "Ask Ryan Giggs how well they work, especially when it comes to social media,” Sophie tried her hardest not to smirk as the smile to fall from her superiors’ faces. “I did not have anything to do with the publication of this book.”
“Would you be willing to take a polygraph test to confirm that?” Alana asked, making Sophie freeze.
“…I shouldn’t have to,” Sophie replied. “If you don’t trust me, you should-“
“What, fire you?” Monsieur Masson sneered. “And expose ourselves to a lawsuit for wrongful dismissal? Especially when you have said you would manipulate the press?”
“We’re not going to schedule you for any flights for the next two weeks,” Alana announced, making Sophie fidget- she still needed to work to eat and pay bills, and two weeks without any wages was going to hurt. “If I were you, I’d take the time to consider your employment with this company, and whether you really want it to continue.”
“Okay,” Sophie whispered as her stomach began to churn- first her friends, then her family, and now even her employers themselves were saying she should quite the airline...
“I’d also think twice about whether or not you want to write anything else,” Alana said, making Sophie tense up again- as much as she preferred writing to being a flight attendant, she wanted to have both in her life for as long as she could. However, when she published her second book, the game would be up- making Sophie wonder fir the first time ever whether she really wanted to publish her second book...
“You can go now,” Monsieur Masson said, prompting Sophie to stand up. Before she left the office, though, Sophie paused and bit her lip.
“Do you have something else to say, Sophie?” Alana asked.
“Yes,” Sophie said, before taking a deep breath. “The statement you put out today… The more you tell people not to do something, the more you’ll encourage them to do it. By putting out a statement all you’ll be doing is giving the book free publicity.”
“Thank you for your opinion,” Monsieur Masson sneered. “But our press team knows what it’s doing.”
“Okay,” Sophie conceded. “But you might want to Google ‘Streisand Effect’ as well.”
“Thank you again,” Monsieur Masson snorted, before dismissing Sophie with a wave of his hand.
As she left the office, Sophie let out a long sigh that betrayed feelings of both relief and frustration. She still had her job, for now at least, but it was hanging by a string. She’d escaped legal action by the skin of her teeth, but she had to tread carefully to keep that the case- and worst of all, if she published anything in her own name, even if it wasn't about the airline, her employer would come down on her like a ton of bricks. It had always been Sophie’s dream to be a published author, and while she’d sort-of accomplished it with her expose, she was eagerly anticipating the day that she could launch her second book and receive all the accolades she deserved. After the meeting, though, that dream seemed further away than ever- and that was before Sophie considered the additional obstacle of explaining the second book to her parents. Sophie began to believe, for the very first time, that her life would be happier away from Soixante-Trois Airlines, and wondered as well whether her life would happier away from 'Sophie'...
Feeling defeated, Sophie returned to the abandoned locker room and changed back into her smart black pencil dress, ready to head home and sulk for the rest of the day. As she walked back through the airport’s vast concourse, however, she saw a group of familiar faces that immediately brought a smile to her face- especially when the four women immediately rushed to Sophie to give her a supportive hug.
“Guess I won’t meet you at home after all,” Rachel said with a chuckle.
“Hello Sophie,” Amelie said supportively. “I understand you have had words with my father?”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied with a heavy sigh. “Guessing Ellen told you, then?”
“There is little that she does not tell me,” Amelie said with a shy grin as her fiancée liked fingers with her. “especially when it is about family. And speaking of family…” Sophie smiled as Amelie turned to the one member of the group that Sophie hadn't met, but whose face she immediately recognised. “Sophie, this is ma petite soeur, Francine. Francine, rencontre Sophie, la femme dont je t'ai parlé.”
“It is good to meet you,” Francine said hesitantly as she exchanged air kisses with Sophie. “Pardon me, but I do not know English as well as Amelie, but I learn.”
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Sophie replied. “And I have no problem speaking French for the rest of the day.”
“No- no, please, I want to learn,” Francine said with a smile. “I am hoping to be here, umm, in this year. To work or to study.”
“Ah, hoping to follow your sister, then?” Sophie asked.
“Oui- yes,” Francine giggled as she shot a teasing look at Amelie. “Mais je ne sais pas pourquoi elle a choisi d'étudier à Londres au lieu de Paris.” Sophie smiled as the young woman teased her older sister. She’d also wondered why Amelie hadn’t chosen to study in her hometown, but she’d come to learn the reason why- and she was stood next to Amelie.
“Pour ma amour,” Amelie replied softly as she exchanged a gentle kiss with Ellen. “But today we are also here for Sophie! The writer of the truth must never be punished.”
“So- sorry, so you-“ Sophie said, addressing Francine.
“Yes, Francine knows about the book and about Project Tutu,” Amelie said.
“My father, he-“ Francine said, before sighing. “I love him, but he can be an ass. He does not respect those who work for him. Perhaps with this book, he will learn.”
“You can keep wishing,” Amelie snorted, before shaking her head and turning to Sophie with a smile on her face. “We do not need to worry about that today. Today, we have a day only for us girls! I wish to show my sister London, and then we can get a meal, and do some shopping!”
“I’m- I’m kinda gonna have a cash flow problem for the next couple of weeks, though…” Sophie grimaced.
“That is no problem,” Amelie replied, withdrawing a jet-black credit card from her purse. “My father will pay one way or another!”
“And- and you said a day for us girls,” Sophie said quietly. “I mean, the four of you, you- you’ve always been, you know, girls, but I-“
“I only see five women here,” Rachel said firmly.
“As do I,” Amelie said, causing tears to form in Sophie’s eyes as Ellen and Francine both nodded in agreement. How could I ever turn my back on this? Sophie thought to herself as she giggled and followed her four friends out of the airport and back toward the centre of the city.
Several hours later, Sophie returned home carrying several shopping bags containing dresses, shoes and assorted beauty products, each and every one Sophie was eager to try out. While the shopping trip and the company of friends had soothed her anxiety over the morning’s events, the whole day had left her feeling exhausted. However, as much as she wanted to curl up on the sofa with a mug of tea wearing a warm sweater and a comfy pair of leggings, she had somewhere else she needed to be- though this would prove to be just as much fun as the shopping trip, if not more so.
Sophie had a wide grin on her face as she exchanged her smart pencil dress for a fun, long-sleeved minidress in a glittery green colour, and her work shoes for a pair of sky-high stilettos. Her smart make-up was removed and replaced with thick silver eyeshadow, dark eyeliner and her thickest fake eyelashes, and two shades of deep crimson coated her lips. Once she was done saturating her hair in hairspray and dousing herself with a cloud of sweet-smelling perfume, Sophie turned and posed for her roommate, who didn’t hesitate in giving her approval.
“Looking hot, Miss Connelly!” Rachel said with a giggle as Sophie twirled to show off her brand-new dress and matching heels.
“Thank you, Miss Lyscombe!” Sophie replied. “Is Lucas gonna be meeting us there?”
“Oh- didn’t you hear?” Rachel asked. “Amelie insisted that it was girls only tonight, so Lucas is kinda taking the night off. I’ve told him I’ll make it up to him tomorrow though!”
“Right,” Sophie said with a cheeky grin. “So will that be a quiet night or a noisy night for me, then?”
“Oh- shut up, you!” Rachel giggled as the pair headed out into the living room, where their two flatmates were waiting, having just returned from their flight to Brussels.
“Hey you two!” Amy said, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “Hey Soph. How- how are you feeling?”
“Ehh, been better,” Sophie sighed, before grinning as Amy and Hayley each gave her a comforting hug. “That meeting with Alana was NOT fun, especially as fat Tony was there as well.”
“Wh- Masson!?” Hayley asked. “Is he- is he going to be there tonight?”
“Any reason why he would?” Amy asked.
“Umm, how about ‘the party is being thrown by one of his daughters for another one of his daughters’?” Hayley asked.
“Not met Amelie, have you?” Sophie teased.
“She’s assured us that tonight will be absolutely, 100% girls ONLY,” Rachel said, giggling as her three flatmates all cheered.
“Well I definitely approve of that!” Amy giggled. “After today, I think we could ALL use a break from work, hehe!” Enforced or otherwise, Sophie thought to herself as the four women headed out to their waiting taxi.
A short while later, the taxi pulled up outside the salubrious home of Amelie and Ellen, who both welcomed the four women with friendly hugs before leading them into their main room, where the party was already in full swing.
“Hey girls!” Abbey said with a giggle as she and Annabelle greeted the newcomers with hugs of their own. “Hey Soph… Ellen was telling me you were getting a bit of a hairdryer treatment today?”
“Hair… Dryer?” Amelie asked with a confused look on her face.
“It’s a United fan thing,” Ellen scoffed as Abbey and Sophie both grinned smugly. “Basically means a severe telling off.”
“A bollocking would be another inappropriate-in-this-crowd way of putting it,” Abbey said, making the assembled women all giggle.
“I hope you’re learning all of this, Francine?” Ellen asked as the 18-year-old Frenchwoman approached with a nervous grin on her face.
“…A bit,” Francine replied with a giggle. “I am very, umm, hoping to enjoy to coming here in August!”
“Votre anglais sera parfait d'ici là,” Amelie reassured her younger sister.
“Are you going to be moving here, Francine?” Rachel asked. “To London?”
“Oui,” Francine replied. “To work with all of you.”
“For- for the airline?” Amy asked.
“Oui,” Francine replied.
“For our father to pay for our university,” Amelie explained, “we must each work for one year in one of his businesses. I spent a year working as a stewardess, as you know, and now will Francine too.”
“Umm, no offence,” Hayley said, “but why would you want to work for the airline, and in London rather than Paris?”
“As London has my sister,” Francine replied, giggling as she shared a gentle hug with Amelie. “And I hope for if I have special, umm…”
“Special treatment,” Amelie said softly.
“Then so will be all of you!” Francine said with a giggle. “And for, I have heard about your Tutu group.”
“You know about the Tutu Project?” Abbey asked.
“Oui,” Francine replied. “Most because it’s funny to see Amelie in a tutu!”
“Tch,” Amelie sighed as her sister giggled. “But Francine does know about the Tutu Project, does know the reason for it and is looking forward to reading the book. When it is translated to French, anyway.”
“IF it’s translated to French,” Sophie sighed. “Something tells me your father’s going to be even angrier about the book coming out in France than he was over here.”
“Let us deal with him,” Amelie said with a confident smile. “He can ignore the book. He cannot ignore his daughter telling him over a year of the same thing.”
“And I shall tell him too,” Francine said. “Il ne voudra pas que sa plus jeune fille endure ce que vous faites tous.” I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Sophie thought to herself as she pictured Francine struggling in the same heels, tight skirt and corset that her older sister had worn months before.
“And if his mind does not change,” Amelie said confidently, “then the Tutu Project shall come again!”
“Well- you can count me in,” Sophie said. “I’ve come too far to back out now, heh.” Both as a member of the project and as a woman full stop, Sophie thought to herself.
“Us too,” Amy said as Hayley nodded, and before long, all the women in the room nodded in agreement, bringing a warm feeling to Sophie’s heart.
“Then it is decided,” Amelie said. “Tomorrow, we shall talk to our father. But tonight, we shall party!” Sophie grinned as the assembled women all let out a loud cheer and the volume of the music increased, and while Sophie was ready for a night of fun, one other feeling overwhelmed her- a feeling of belonging unlike any she had ever had before, whether at university, among friends, or even among family.
The assembled women spent the rest of the evening dancing, drinking and listening to Francine's stories of life in Paris, with the party only subsiding when many of the women excused themselves as they had flights the following morning. Eventually, it was just Sophie, Amelie, Ellen and Francine left in the flat, and as she helped to tidy up, Sophie couldn’t help but muse on the Frenchwomen’s relationship with their father.
“Hey Amelie,” Sophie asked hesitantly.
“Yes, Sophie?” The Frenchwoman replied.
“Do you- and feel free to refuse to answer if you find this question offensive, but…” Sophie said. “Do you- do you ever worry, you know, about your father?”
“Heh, most of the time,” Amelie replied with a snort of laughter.
“No, umm, I mean-“ Sophie stammered. “Do you ever worry that, you know, he might- he might cut you off? Money-wise, I mean?” Sophie bit her lip as the young woman paused to contemplate her response.
“Sometimes, maybe,” Amelie whispered. “I know I must seem like a hypocrite, taking his money and living in his big, fancy flat while working- well, being in the Tutu Project. But as much as I sometimes hate him, I- I still love him. I just want him to be better, to treat women better, to treat his employees better, but I- I do still love him. He is still my father, and I am still his daughter, so- so no, not really, I do not worry. One day he may even accept me for who I am.” Sophie bit her lip as her friend’s words resonated with her. Regardless of gender, Sophie was still her parents’ child- their only child- and she still loved them dearly, but unlike Amelie, she couldn’t help but worry that her parents wouldn’t be able to accept ‘Sophie’ as well as ‘James’. She worried that they might never be able to accept her for who she is…
“Sophie?” Ellen asked as she approached the two women. “Is everything okay?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Oh, umm, yeah, just- just, you know, thinking…”
“About what?” Ellen asked, prompting a smile to form on her friend’s face.
“About how when Francine starts work for the airline,” Sophie replied, “no matter how much of a pain the uniform, the customers, the management and the working environment might be, she will have THE best colleagues in the world.” Sophie grinned widely as the three women, soon joined by Francine, shared a genuine, loving group hug.
Sophie’s alarm woke her up the following day at 5:30am, but before she could swing her legs out of bed, she switched off the alarm and laid back down with a dull moan of frustration. The previous day’s events meant that her scheduled flight to Berlin had suddenly become unscheduled, and left Sophie at a loose end- her parents were both busy, as she’d established the previous day, Rachel had already left the flat to get her flight to Paris, Amy and Hayley would soon do so, and Amelie and Francine would be spending the day with their father- making that option, despite her fondness of the two French girls, the least appealing of the lot. Sophie rolled over in bed and tried to get back to sleep, but only nodded off for a few minutes at a time before finally getting up just after 8am.
As she showered and shaved her face, Sophie gazed down at the fine stubble growing on her legs and let out a soft sigh. On an ordinary day, she would shave her legs bare before going to work, but this wasn’t an ordinary day- though as Sophie was forced to concede, her idea of ‘ordinary’ had changed a lot over the previous 18 months.
Before August 2017, Sophie had never shaved any part of her body other than her face. The only cosmetic she’d used was deodorant- a man’s deodorant- the only hair ‘style’ she’d ever had was a short back and sides and she’d never even conceived of applying moisturiser to any part of her body. And yet, not only were these actions now acceptable to Sophie, she viewed them as essential- even if she faced the possibility of never wearing a Soixante-Trois uniform ever again.
A few minutes later, Sophie emerged from the shower, her entire body below her eyebrows shaved clean of any hair and her legs coated in a soft moisturising cream. After drying herself off, Sophie returned to her bedroom, where she sighed at the sight of her vast make-up collection spread across her dresser. Over the past 18 months, Sophie had become an expert at applying all kinds of cosmetics, a skill essential for ‘Sophie’ but useless to ‘James’. However, with nowhere to go, even ‘Sophie’ had no need to apply any make-up, though that didn’t stop her from putting on a light layer of mascara and eyeliner, an action that took Sophie seconds but immediately made her feel much more confident than before.
With nowhere to go, Sophie also had no need to dress smartly or fashionably, and had no reason not to pull on a pair of ‘James’s jeans and one of his sweatshirts. However, as cold as it was outside, Sophie found herself reaching for the most comfortable clothes she owned- a pair of ‘Sophie’s leggings and one of her long sweater dresses, under which she wore her usual flattening thong and padded bra- even though there was no one around but her to get the 'benefit' of such undergarments.
As she relaxed on the sofa and turned on the television, Sophie mused on how natural, how ‘right’ it felt- the clothes, the make-up, everything. However, as she relaxed, she was forced to concede that the time may soon come when ‘Sophie’ would be a thing of the past. Without the approval of her parents, without a job, Sophie would have no need to wear a flattening thong, or a padded bra, or any other item of women's clothing in her wardrobe. Her friends would, of course, disagree, stating that Sophie could always dress for dressing's sake, and would always offer her a safe space in which to become 'Sophie', but Sophie would still need an excuse to justify doing so, if only for her own benefit...
Sophie did, however, have a source of comfort available to her other than family or friends, and with her mind in turmoil, she felt a greater than ever need to call upon this source.
Ninety minutes and one phone call later, Sophie strode confidently into the office of Dr Beverly Phillips, wearing a full layer of make-up on her face and a brand-new pair of over-knee brown boots covering her legs. On the tube ride to the office, Sophie had attracted the attention of several young men on the train, and while she certainly wasn’t interested in any of them, she couldn’t help but derive confidence from the attention she was getting…
“Hello, Sophie,” Dr Phillips said as the young woman entered her office and took a seat.
“Hi, thanks for fitting me in today,” Sophie replied.
“That’s quite alright,” Dr Phillips said. “After your book launch on Wednesday, I thought you might need to talk.”
“Yeah… Suffice to say, there’s been a bit of fallout from that,” Sophie said.
“Well, you did expect that to happen,” Dr Phillips reminder the young woman. “Though I can appreciate how things going from a hypothetical to, well, a non-hypothetical can catch you by surprise, even if you were expecting them.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Sophie replied. “Work have- well, they haven’t explicitly suspended me, but they’re not scheduling me on any flights for the next fortnight, so, well- yeah.”
“Do they know you wrote the book?” Dr Phillips asked.
“They suspect,” Sophie replied. “I’m fairly certain they won’t be able to prove it. But they- they are on a bit of a rampage. Antoine Masson himself even showed up. And they are threatening Rachel with legal action.”
“All of which was expected as well,” Dr Phillips reassured the young woman. “And Rachel is represented by a very clever lawyer who you’ve said already will represent you if the- well, if it hits the fan. But I’m not a lawyer, and you didn’t come to me for legal advice, did you?”
“…No,” Sophie sighed. “Everyone- and I do mean everyone, my bosses, my friends, even my family, they- they’re saying that I should now quit the airline, now that the book is done.”
“And what do you think?” Dr Phillips asked, keeping a neutral expression on her face as Sophie rolled her eyes.
“I- I don’t know,” the brown-haired woman eventually confessed. “I mean, I don’t want to be a stewardess my whole life, but I suppose I do have my second book to work on- as you know.”
“Yes, I have some more material for you to look at for that as well,” Dr Phillips said of the book she was helping to compile. “But you don’t need to work for the airline to continue writing it, do you?”
“That’s the question I’m asking myself,” Sophie sighed. “But- but it’s not the most important question.”
“I think I know what that might be,” Dr Phillips said softly. “But I’ll let you ask it.” Sophie took a deep breath to calm herself before asking the question that had dominated her mind ever since the publication of the book.
“Do I need to keep working for the airline to keep being ‘Sophie’?” The brown-haired woman asked, before letting out a loud sigh. “And I suppose you’re going to tell me I’m the only one who can answer that question?” Sophie sighed again as her counsellor nodded.
“Though I can offer some observations,” Dr Phillips said. “Looking at you now, I see a young woman before anything else. Even though you’ve chosen not to medically transition, you have chosen to present as a woman, and not just in your choice of clothing or cosmetics. Your demeanour, your manner of speaking- and I don’t just mean the pitch of your voice- and even your body language is that of a woman. You could easily have come here today as ‘James’, but you chose to come as ‘Sophie’. My conclusion, therefore, is that what you think you need is a reason to be ‘Sophie’.”
“Yeah,” Sophie sighed heavily. “Especially when I have two very big reasons to not be ‘Sophie’.”
“Your parents?” Dr Phillips asked in a sympathetic voice.
“I don’t think they’ll ever understand,” Sophie sighed. “’Sophie’ is as much a part of me now as ‘James’ is, and I- I don’t just want to, you know, put her away…”
“And you don’t have to,” Dr Phillips said. “Your parents need to understand that you’re 24 years old. You are an independent woman, and you have the final, if not only say in how you live your life. It’s natural to be worried about how they’d react to the news, and it’s natural to want to maintain a loving relationship with them. But you have to set down the ground rules for this new relationship.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Sophie sighed.
“Most things are,” Dr Phillips said. “If you’d like, I can arrange a meeting and be present when you speak to your parents.”
“I- I’ll have to think about it,” Sophie sighed. “I mean, I want this behind me but- ugh, I dunno.”
“Well, if it’s any consolation, you do have time on your side,” Dr Phillips said. “I know you’re conflicted, but the status quo as it is right now is stable- depending, of course, on how it goes with the airline, but you’ll have a source of income from the book, and you are living independently with friends on whom you can count for support. You do have a lot of positives in your life, Sophie, and while it’s only natural to worry about the negatives- which are real, and which are valid- you need to realise that you have a foundation for your life, and you are the one in control.”
“…Thanks,” Sophie said with a chuckle as she relaxed back into her chair, conceding that the older woman had a point- it would be all too easy to wallow in self-pity, but Sophie needed to take control of her life- after all, it was HER life, not her employers', not her friends', not even her parents'.
Sophie left the office just over forty minutes later and had barely reached the nearest tube station when her phone beeped to inform her of a new text message. If I’m in charge of my destiny, I’m sure being pulled in a lot of different directions, Sophie thought to herself as she read the message. It soon put a smile on her face, though, and shortly afterward she was on a tube train not heading home, but to another part of the vast city.
“Hey you two!” Sophie said with a grin as she rendezvoused with the sender of the text message and her younger sister.
“Bonjour!” Amelie replied, giggling as she and Francine each gave Sophie a friendly hug. “I hope we did not get you out of bed early?”
“No, I was actually out and about anyway,” Sophie said.
“Wearing those new boots?” Amelie asked with a devious grin.
“Well, obviously!” Sophie replied, showing off her footwear to the two delighted young women. “Thank you so much for these, and for everything else yesterday.”
“Je t'ai dit que j'avais raison à propos de cette fille,” Amelie said quietly to her sister, bringing a smug smile to Sophie’s scarlet lips.
“I- I’m guessing you wanted to see me because of, well, what happened yesterday as well?” Sophie asked hesitantly
“With our father?” Amelie asked softly, smiling as Sophie nodded. “Oui, we- heh. We were speaking to him today, and we may have, you could say, got you your job back?”
“Wh- I’m- I’m sorry?” Sophie asked.
“Our father was very angry,” Francine explained.
“But we explained to him- well, I will not say all details,” Amelie continued. “But I said to him that we worked together, that you are professional, and he is lucky for you to work for him. And I told him about Barbara Streisand.”
“Barb- oh, um, you mean the Streisand Effect?” Sophie asked.
“Oui,” Francine said. “If he sues, everyone will know of the book.”
“So he’s dropped the lawsuit as well?” Sophie asked disbelievingly.
“He has,” Amelie replied with a smug smile. “Though that took much persuading! He is still angry at Rachel but wants the book to go away quietly. Though… He still will not read the book himself. He does not believe any of it is true, or if he does, he will not do anything about it.”
“Well- I suppose we shouldn’t have expected miracles,” Sophie sighed. “I know Rachel will be disappointed about that.”
“When I start, maybe we will,” Francine said with a shrug. “But our père has another, umm, way for his anger.”
“Another w- I- I’m sorry?” Sophie asked.
“He is angry at someone else,” Amelie explained. “Someone other than you or Rachel, or ma amour.”
“Well then… Who?” Sophie asked.
“Joshua Benedict,” Amelie candidly replied.
“Josh- umm, why, exactly?” Sophie asked, biting her lip as Amelie took a deep breath.
“’Les Anges’ has just released on Amazon in France,” Amelie explained.
“The French version of The Angels?” Sophie asked. “Yeah, didn’t the airline have some kind of sponsorship arrangement?”
“It was Soixante-Trois Mode,” Amelie corrected. “And they DID.”
“I- I was to be, umm, une Ange,” Francine mumbled.
“I- I’m sorry, you were going to be one of the French Angels?” Sophie asked.
“In exchange for the sponsorship,” Amelie said. “But, obviously, it did not happen, and our father has withdrawn his sponsorship and blamed Joshua Benedict. Even though he is not in charge of Les Anges, Catherine Dujardin is.”
“And- and didn’t Joshua Benedict come out as gay just before Christmas?” Sophie asked.
“Oui,” Amelie said. “Our father has avoided shooting himself in his right foot by shooting himself in his left foot.”
“…And he had to wait until AFTER the book was published?” Sophie asked, making the two women laugh as they back to their flat for lunch.
After the meal, during which Sophie listened intently as Amelie filled her in with all the latest gossip and politics at the airline, Sophie returned home feeling renewed. Thanks to her friends, she was no longer facing the prospect of a long and expensive lawsuit, she would still secretly receive income from her book and most of all, she would still be employed by the airline, a voicemail on her phone confirming that her next flight would be the coming Tuesday. Sophie still had the threat concerning her second book hanging over her head, but as Dr Phillips had said, it wasn’t an immediate problem. At that exact point in time, Sophie had her work- both jobs, in fact- her friends, including a new one in Francine, and the freedom to be as feminine as she wanted, whenever she wanted.
However, as she twiddled her phone in her expertly-manicured fingers, Sophie was forced to concede that she didn’t have everything she wanted- not yet, anyway.
“Hello?” The refined voice of Sophie’s mother asked as she answered the phone.
“Hi mum,” Sophie replied in ‘James’s voice.
“James, hi!” Pamela enthused. “We were so sorry you couldn’t come around yesterday, but we hear that good news is on the horizon?”
“Umm… Good news?” ‘James’ asked.
“Yes,” Pamela replied. “Your father says you’re going to be leaving that airline soon, now that you’ve got your book published, and you’ll soon be going back to being the real you?” The ‘real’ me, Sophie thought to herself.
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled nervously. About that…
“I’m sorry sir, but I’m not allowed to discuss that,” Sophie said as she poured the passenger his coffee. “Will there be anything else, sir?”
“Non, that will be all,” the middle-aged businessman replied in his refined Parisian accent. Sophie dutifully bobbed a curtsey and dragged her trolley back to the kitchen, where her supervisor was waiting with a sympathetic smile on her face.
“I couldn’t help but hear that, honey,” Annabelle said softly. “You got another one of those questions?”
“Yeah,” Sophie sighed. “I seem to be getting them more and more, it- it’s like they know.”
“I don’t see how, honey,” Annabelle said, earning a sad smile from her friend and colleague. “But would you really want them to know?”
“Well- I kinda do and I kinda don’t,” Sophie replied. “Obviously, it’d get me in a LOT of trouble if I told them, but I- I want to take credit for what I wrote, you know? Hell, there’s someone back in row L who’s actually reading the book!”
“That happens a lot more often on flights than you think,” Annabelle said quietly. “The management, they- they’re not happy about that at all, but they always say the customer is always right, and if the customer wants to read about us while they fly with us, well- they must be right, honey.”
“It’s almost like the book was one giant advert,” Sophie said, before letting out a tired chuckle. “And here I was lecturing Alana and Masson about the Streisand effect.”
“You were only doing what you thought was right, honey,” Annabelle reassured the young woman. “And the passengers wouldn’t be reading the book if they didn’t think it was true, right?”
“Well- I guess,” Sophie shrugged.
“And you certainly wouldn’t still be here if you were only in it for the money yourself, would you?” Annabelle asked, earning a wide grin from her friend.
“Definitely not,” Sophie replied, before sighing as the galley’s call light illuminated. “Oh well, duty calls!” Sophie forced her professional-looking smile onto her face as she pushed her trolley back out into the fuselage of the plane, but on the inside, she was feeling frustrated.
In the three months since the book’s release, it had become more and more popular, not just with British fliers, but throughout the whole of Europe. As time went on, interest in the book continued to rise, not just from the public, but from the press as well. Many requests for interviews had been extended… To Rachel, whose name was on the front cover instead of Sophie’s- or even James’s.
Sophie didn’t mind this, of course- it was what was agreed right at the start, when Sophie started writing the book- when Sophie first became ‘Sophie’. And she still received royalties from the book, and heard about how passengers enjoyed it… Anecdotes that she received second hand from her friends and colleagues, who unlike Sophie, were given shifts other than the London to Paris route- though even those shifts were becoming scarcer for the young woman. Despite Amelie and Francine intervening on her behalf, Sophie’s managers were still reluctant to trust her, meaning she only got the shifts that no one else wanted, or cover for holidays or sick leave, which always inevitably meant the Paris route.
“How may I help you, sir?” Sophie asked in her perfected professional feminine voice, even though Sophie herself felt the voice was simpering.
“Just a black coffee,” the passenger replied in a posh English accent, not even bothering to look at Sophie as he gave her his order. Please, Sophie thought to herself as she poured the gentleman his drink.
“Will there be anything else, sir?” Sophie asked.
“No, that will be all,” the passenger replied as Sophie placed the coffee on his tray. Before she was able to return to the galley, though, Sophie froze when she felt something brush past her nylon-clad knee, followed by the unmistakable feel of a hand gently gripping her thigh. Before she could react, the hand slowly made its way underneath her tight skirt, tickling the skin underneath her stocking top…
“Thank you, sir,” Sophie said in a rushed, nervous voice as she pulled away from the passenger’s unwanted grip before all but sprinting back to the galley with her trolley.
“Hey, slow down, honey!” Annabelle urged her colleague as she braced herself against the counter and tried to get her breath back. “Are you okay?”
“I’ve been better,” Sophie sighed. “That last customer, he- he stuck his hand up my skirt…”
“Ugh,” Annabelle spat. “Some guys don’t know how to treat- ugh.” The American woman paused as she gazed out into the cabin at the passenger that Sophie had just served.
“What- what is it?” Sophie asked.
“You just had a run-in with hands, honey,” Annabelle replied, smiling sympathetically as her friend frowned in confusion. “Alan ‘Hands’ Hopkins? You’ve never flown with him before?”
“I don’t think so,” Sophie replied.
“Well- you would know if you had,” Annabelle sighed. “As that just proved. He’s had his hands up more skirts than most gynaecologists, every time he’s on a flight- which thankfully, ain’t often.”
“Especially not when I fill out an unacceptable passenger behaviour form,” Sophie grumbled, before frowning as Annabelle let out a sarcastic snort of laughter. “…What?”
“Those are a complete waste of time,” Annabelle snorted. “His company’s got a huge contract with the airline, and management ain’t going to do anything that might jeopardise that.”
“Wish I’d heard of him before I finished the book,” Sophie snorted. “I’m guessing arranging something like what Rachel, Abbey and Tanisha did to that one guy that time wouldn’t help either?”
“Not unless you want to get yourself and everyone else in a lot of trouble,” Annabelle replied. “Alana can ignore UPB forms. She can’t ignore something like that, and we’re the ones who’d pay the price. Besides, I thought your parents- well, they weren’t happy about the whole ‘Sophie’ thing?”
“Well- no, not really,” Sophie replied, before sighing as the call light illuminated again.
“Want me to get that, honey?” Annabelle offered.
“No, I might as well,” Sophie replied. “One good thing about Paris flights- they don’t last long, heh.”
“True, I suppose,” Annabelle sighed as the brown-haired woman pushed her trolley back out into the cabin.
The flight landed a short while later, and at Annabelle’s insistence, Sophie remained in the galley as the passengers disembarked. On the flight back to London, Sophie was relieved to discover that ‘Hands’ wasn’t present on the flight, but she still took up Annabelle’s offer of staying in the galley for the majority of the flight. Nonetheless, when the flight landed, Sophie couldn’t wait to get out of her uniform- even though she was replacing it with a smart blouse and pencil skirt that were equally as form-fitting as the uniform.
Despite Annabelle’s advice, before she left the airport, Sophie logged on to the airline’s intranet and filled out the form reporting ‘Hands’s behaviour, though she had no doubt that the report would get conveniently lost, assuming it was even looked at at all.
“Good evening, Miss Connelly!” Amy said with a grin as Sophie walked through the front door, kicked off her uncomfortable heels and flopped down onto the sofa with a long, loud sigh. “I would ask if it was a good flight, but a) Paris, and b) well- that sigh.”
“Yep,” Sophie said. “Still, at least I now have five days free, heh. Even if it’s five days when I’m not earning any money.”
"Other than the royalties you get from your book?" Amy retorted.
"Which I won't get for another few months," Sophie sighed.
“I would say today calls for a traditional Team ASH night out, but we both kinda have flights tomorrow too,” Hayley said with a sympathetic smile.
“I could definitely use one of them, heh,” Sophie chuckled. “Assuming someone else pays, anyway. And where’s Rachel tonight?”
“Lu-“ Amy began, only to be interrupted by her flatmate.
“Don’t tell me,” Sophie sighed. “Lucas?”
“Those two are increasingly joined at the hip,” Amy chuckled. “face to fa-“
“Yes, yes, I inferred that,” Sophie said with a snort of laughter. “Where are you two off to tomorrow, anyway?”
“Dublin,” Amy replied.
“Rome,” Hayley said, grimacing as Sophie frowned.
“I miss both those cities, heh,” Sophie said with a sad chuckle.
“Seriously, Soph, just quit the job already,” Amy said with a sympathetic sigh. “You know you hate it there, you know things aren’t going to get better and you’ve got a career lined up and waiting for you. You. Not James, but you, the girly and gorgeous Sophie Connelly.”
“I’ve told you already, once I finish my second book, I’ll be out of there,” Sophie retorted. “Whether I like it or not…”
“Which you know you will,” Hayley said. “Can’t you hunt around for a publisher, like, now? Maybe show them some parts of the second book?”
“In theory, yes,” Sophie replied. “I’d just prefer to wait until it was completed, though.”
“I heard Joshua Benedict might be opening a publishing wing of Heavenly Talent soon,” Amy mused. “Might be worth getting your foot in there, everything I know about him tells me his biography would be a really interesting read, and you’d be perfect to write-“
“Yes, okay, thank you!” Sophie said, throwing her hands up in frustration at the conversation she’d had multiple times with her friends over the previous few months.
“…And of course, no matter where you work, Team ASH will always be- well, a team, right?” Hayley asked, earning a warm grin from both of her friends.
“Always,” Sophie and Amy replied simultaneously.
“Even when we’re all married with kids,” Sophie said confidently.
“Ooh, speaking of,” Amy said, “have you decided what you’re wearing for our double date on Thursday?”
“What’s this then?” Hayley asked in a teasing voice that caused Sophie’s cheeks to redden. “Have you two got a double date?”
“…It’s just a bit of fun,” Sophie replied.
“Who are the other couple you’ll be going out with, then?” Hayley asked, shrieking with laughter as both of the other women hurled cushions at her.
“Funny girl,” Amy said with a sarcastic snort. “It’s a couple of girls from the new intake earlier this month, if you must know. So yes, they’re cool with us being- well, ‘us.”
“Seemed like the only way to guarantee it,” Sophie said quietly, earning a sympathetic smile from her flatmate.
“Well- that’s a loss for all men around the world, heh!” Hayley chuckled, earning smiles from her friends. “Though you don’t know what you’re missing… Heh. That also goes for you two with each other, you know?”
“Oh- shut up,” Sophie moaned, before letting out a soft giggle. “Though thanks for taking my mind off today, I needed it, heh.”
“That bad, eh?” Hayley asked.
“Ever meet a customer called Alan Hopkins?” Sophie asked, sighing sadly as Amy reacted with a look of disgust.
“Ugh, hands?” Amy spat. “I thought he didn’t fly anymore?”
“Well, he flew today,” Sophie sighed. “And so did his hand, right up my skirt.”
“Eww!” Hayley sneered. “Kinda feel glad to be left out, for once.”
“I just wish I knew about him before finalising the book, heh,” Sophie sighed. “Still, at least 5 days off means 5 days with no hands, heh.”
“Unless you’re called in for holiday or sickness cover?” Amy asked, smirking as Sophie rolled her eyes.
“Thanks for THAT,” Sophie snorted.
“Oh- fine, be like that,” Amy said with a mock pout.
“Please, girls, let’s not have a lovers’ squabble,” Hayley teased, earning eye rolls from her flatmates. “Now kiss and make up!”
“Fuck off…” Amy snorted, before smirking and sliding onto the sofa next to Sophie.
“Wh- what the-“ Sophie protested, before being silenced as the ginger-haired girl leaned in and gave her a long, deep kiss, interspersed by fits of giggling from all 3 women.
“…Okay, well,” Sophie said as she got her breath back. “Rather that than ‘Hands’, that’s for sure!”
“I’ll take that as a win,” Amy giggled as the three women headed through to the kitchen to prepare their evening meals.
After dinner, Amy and Hayley both opted for early nights, leaving Sophie by herself in the living room. However, Sophie was grateful for the peace and quiet, as it enabled her to get a lot of work done on her new book- and after the encounter with ‘Hands’ earlier in the day, Sophie had a lot that she wanted to get down in writing.
Sophie was woken up the following morning by the sound of the flat’s front door opening and closing, which Sophie initially wrote off as a common occurrence whenever her flatmates were on a flight and she wasn’t. However, when Sophie checked the clock on her phone, her eyes immediately widened.
“Te- ten twenty?” Sophie yelped as she threw back the covers. “Must’ve stayed up longer than I thought writing…” Before she left her bedroom however, Sophie paused- Amy and Hayley would’ve had to have left much earlier than 10am to catch their flights, and if it wasn’t them opening the front door…
Sophie found herself panicking as the bedroom door handle started to turn. She reached for a full, heavy can of deodorant, and as the door opened, got ready to swing it…
“Ahh!” Sophie yelled, before grimacing with embarrassment.
“Aiiee!” Rachel Lyscombe shrieked in terror. “Je- Jesus Christ, Soph! Good job I keep clean underwear only a few feet away!”
“Ah- Jeez- sorry, Rachel,” Sophie mumbled. “I thought you- ugh, I dunno.”
“Well, figure it out quickly please,” Rachel snorted. “I don’t really want to wear a crash helmet to bed, I get bad enough bed hair as it is!”
“Ugh, sorry, I only just woke up myself,” Sophie said, before sighing as she stared in her mirror. “Speaking of bed hair…”
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Rachel sighed as she sat down on her bed. “Think I’m gonna need a second, heh…”
“I’m gonna be apologising for this for a while, aren’t I?” Sophie asked, grimacing as Rachel sullenly nodded.
“I thought you were on a flight today, anyway,” Rachel said. “Or visiting your parents? Either way I didn’t expect you to still be in this late in the morning.”
“Nah, I’m seeing my parents tomorrow,” Sophie shrugged. “Just thought I’d, you know, take a day off today… God knows I need it after yesterday, heh.”
“Paris?” Rachel asked, smiling sympathetically as Sophie nodded.
“And have you ever heard of hands?” Sophie asked. “Not like the things at the end of your wrists, but-“
“Ugh- god, yeah,” Rachel snorted. “I’m surprised you haven’t run into him before now.”
“Meh, I barely did Paris before- well, before the book, heh,” Sophie chuckled. “But yes, I had a run-in with him yesterday.”
“I did shortly after I started, while I was still in probation,” Rachel said. “I’m sure I told you about him for the book, but thinking about it I probably just said ‘someone once tried to reach up my skirt’ and, well, you probably heard THAT a lot.”
“Just a bit, yeah,” Sophie snorted. “If I’d known it was the same person each time- well, yeah.”
“I doubt it was the same person EVERY time, though,” Rachel snorted. “But- yeah. He’s kinda the reason I’ve started wearing tights on flights instead of stockings, gives an extra layer, of, well, ‘protection’, as bad as that sounds.”
“Even though the employee handbook specifies stockings only on flights, and says why?” Sophie teased, earning an eye roll from the young blonde woman.
“Oh- whatever,” Rachel snorted. “I know how to keep a pair of tights from falling down.”
“Yeah, so do I, and I’ve only been wearing them for less than two years,” Sophie chuckled. “Has Alana never found out?”
“If she has, she hasn’t said anything,” Rachel shrugged. “Doubt she could say anything if everyone just chose to stop wearing stockings and wore tights instead.”
“Maybe we should just do that?” Sophie suggested. “Heh, if you’d told me two years ago that I of all people would be advocating wearing tights to work…”
“Yeah, well, two years ago I’d never have dreamed I’d be sharing a flat with three transgender women,” Rachel said, before grimacing. “I- I don’t mean that in a bad way, just that, you know, I wouldn’t have expected it, and-“
“I get it, really,” Sophie said softly. “Two years ago, I’d never have thought that either!”
“Yeah,” Rachel sighed happily. “Now I can’t imagine it any other way, heh!”
“Not even moving in with Lucas?” Sophie teased, making her roommate roll her eyes.
“…Okay, maybe,” Rachel replied, before giggling quietly. “My parents would love THAT, heh!”
“Yeah, let’s not compare parents’ reactions to our life choices,” Sophie sighed as she stood up and headed out of the bedroom. “Are you staying in today, then?”
“Lucas is at uni all day, so not like I’ve got anything else to do,” Rachel chuckled. “You?”
“Probably doing some writing,” Sophie replied. “Once I’m dressed anyway, heh!”
“I’ll let you get on with that,” Rachel said. “Getting dressed, I mean. I plan on interrupting you writing as I really want to read this new book, heh!”
“Once it’s done,” Sophie teased with a grin as she headed to the flat’s small bathroom. “Though I guess I can now write first-hand about one of the absolute worst things about being a woman.”
“Being groped by gross older men?” Rachel asked. “Can’t argue there. If anything, more men should experience life as a woman, even if only briefly, so they know what it’s like to be on the receiving end.”
“And I can’t argue with THAT,” Sophie said as she stepped into the shower and let the hot water cascade over her slender frame. As she shaved off what little body hair had grown over the past few days- and, much to her chagrin, the fine stubble that had grown on her face, Sophie mused that the one thing she had definitely learned from her life as a woman was that women- ALL women- deserve to be treated with respect. She'd learned that being a woman was not an easy thing, and the encounter with 'Hands' just proved that. However, the rewards were more than worth it, as Sophie was reminded when she went back into her bedroom and stared at the large photo collage that dominated the wall next to her bed. Photos of parties, nights out, special occasions, all of which featured her friends, and none of which showed even a hint of 'James'.
After she finished showering, Sophie returned to the living room where she spent most of the morning and afternoon writing and editing the latest chapter for her book- and trying to keep her roommate from peeking at it. Amy and Hayley returned later that evening, and the four women shared their evening meal, during which Sophie couldn’t help but muse on Rachel’s words from earlier, how her living arrangement- both in terms of her flatmates and herself- felt completely natural to Sophie, as did the dinnertime discussion of their work, their lives, their love lives and especially Rachel’s ‘tights rebellion’. As her life as 'Sophie' had progressed, the young woman had quickly felt like a 'true' transwoman, like her friends and flatmates, but in recent months, Sophie had begun to feel less like a 'transwoman', and more like a 'woman', full stop- and Sophie truly loved the feeling of warmth, love and acceptance that went with it.
The following morning, Sophie was woken once again by the sound of the flat’s front door open and closing, though this time, it didn’t generate the same feeling of panic- firstly, because Sophie’s phone revealed that it had barely gone 7 o’clock, and second, and most importantly, because Sophie knew that all three of her flatmates had flights, while she was once again stuck at a loose end- though that wouldn't be the case for the whole day.
After a morning of relaxing and reviewing what she’d written the previous day, Sophie ate a quick lunch before heading through to her bedroom to prepare for the afternoon that laid ahead of her. After expertly applying her light make-up- just enough to hide her more masculine features and give extra definition to her more feminine side- Sophie reached into her drawers for her outfit for the day, a warm dark grey turtleneck and a knee-length A-line skirt in a lighter grey. As it was colder than usual outside, Sophie instinctively reached into her underwear drawer for a pair of translucent black tights, and as she rolled the clingy garment up her legs, Sophie mused on the discussion she'd had with Rachel the previous day. The tights she wore didn't make Sophie feel any more 'protected'- they were thin, flimsy and could be destroyed by a misplaced fingernail. And while they stopped her from leaving the apartment with bare legs, Sophie still felt vulnerable, as she knew they would likely draw just as much male attention as bare legs would have done. However, they did make Sophie feel more feminine- and as far as she was concerned, that was more than enough reason to wear them. After ensuring that her make-up was immaculate, Sophie slipped her feet into a pair of comfortable, stylish flats, grabbed her handbag and left the flat, smiling at how no one on the crowded streets of London gave her a second look- apart from the young (and in some case, not so young) men who liked what they saw. However, after her run-in with ‘Hands’, Sophie was even less motivated than usual to give them any unwanted signals.
“Hello, Sophie!” The refined, professional voice of Dr Beverly Phillips said when Sophie walked through her office door a short while later. “Please, take a seat.”
“Thanks,” Sophie said, dropping her bag underneath her seat and unconsciously smoothing her skirt beneath her as she sat down. “I- well, I’ve had a bit of a week since we last spoke, heh.”
“In a good way or a bad way?” Dr Phillips asked.
“Well- both, really,” Sophie sighed. “On the good side, I’ve had lots of free time to work on my book, and no, that’s not a hint that I want more material, heh.”
“That’s good, because I am running a bit dry,” Dr Phillips said with a smile. “And good that you’re getting time to work on the book, too.”
“Not necessarily,” Sophie sighed. “It also means I’m hardly getting any shifts at work, which means I’m hardly getting any income.”
“Well- yes, obviously that would be a source of stress,” Dr Phillips conceded.
“Back on the plus side, I actually have a date tonight,” Sophie continued, earning a grin from her counsellor. “From someone who knows all about ‘James’ and ‘Sophie’ and yes, will be expecting the latter.”
“Oh, now that IS good news!” Dr Phillips chuckled. “Are you nervous?”
“Maybe a little,” Sophie shrugged. “It’s a double date, actually, me and Amy and two new hires from work, so we know each other and- and me and Amy AREN’T one of the couples, it’ll be me with a new hire and Amy with the other new hire.”
“I wasn’t going to suggest anything,” Dr Phillips said as she subtly made a note on her pad.
“So, that’ll be a chance to have a bit of fun and relax a bit,” Sophie said, fidgeting nervously in her seat. “Which I- I’m kinda gonna need, heh…”
“Sophie?” Dr Phillips asked, a concerned look spreading across her face.
“…And the major bad thing that happened this week,” Sophie whispered. “On a flight on Tuesday, I had a customer who- he- he put his hand up my skirt.”
“Oh dear, I am sorry to hear that,” Dr Phillips said in a genuinely concerned voice.
“And I really mean UP,” Sophie said. “I’m used to the occasional, you know, ‘brush’ that may or not be accidental, but this was definitely deliberate. No doubt your next question will be ‘how did that make you feel’, and the answer to that is, well… ‘Less than a person’, is that makes any sense?”
“It makes perfect sense,” Dr Phillips reassured the young woman. “What you experienced, Sophie, is similar to what hundreds of women go through on a daily basis.”
“I know,” Sophie moaned. “And that’s why I feel so- so pathetic for bringing it up, for dwelling on it-“
“Let- let me stop you there,” Dr Phillips interrupted gently. “Just because it happens to many other women doesn’t make it trivial when it happens to you- quite the opposite, in fact. What happened to you was sexual harassment, plain and simple. It happens to a large- too large a number of women throughout their lifetime.”
“I know,” Sophie whispered. “And I’d be lying if I- if I said it didn’t make me question whether or not I truly wanted to be a woman.”
“I can understand that,” Dr Phillips said. “But I also have to point out that you could just as easily have come here today as ‘James’, but you chose to come as ‘Sophie’.”
“Oh- I never said I was really thinking about abandoning ‘Sophie’,” the young woman retorted. “Only that, you know, it’s given me- heh, it’s given me plenty of material for the book. And an insight into being a woman that a LOT of men could stand to learn from.”
“You won’t get any argument from me,” Dr Phillips said with a smile.
“Is there- is there anything I can do in the future?” Sophie asked. “Like, as in coping mechanisms, that sort of thing? It’s not like I’d get away with punching the guy in the face, he’s one of the airline’s biggest clients…”
“I can certainly point you to websites with testimonials and advice from other vic- other, umm, people who have gone through what you have,” Dr Phillips replied, grimacing at her near slip of the tongue. “But I can’t advise you on how to make it feel normal, because it should never, ever feel normal.”
“…Thanks,” Sophie sighed. “At least one good thing to come out of this is that I have plenty of material now for the book, heh.”
“Which every man should read,” Dr Phillips said softly. “Sophie, it’s important that you don’t dwell on this one incident. I know you well enough to know that you won’t view your entire life as a woman through the lens of this one incident, even if it does make you feel more vulnerable.”
“It’d never have happened to ‘James’, though,” Sophie retorted.
“Yes, you’re probably right,” Dr Phillips conceded. “But like I said a short while ago, it’s not ‘James’ sat in front of me.”
“…No it isn’t,” Sophie mumbled. “But I- I’m worried.”
“That’s perfectly natural,” Dr Phillips reassured the young woman.
“Not just for myself, but- but for my friends too,” Sophie said. “Like, in the context of where I work. We can submit reports complaining about customer behaviour, but nothing will ever happen, not when money talks.”
“I see,” Dr Phillips said. “Is this concern for your friends’ part of why you continue to work for the airline, even though your preferred career is elsewhere?”
“Maybe, probably,” Sophie shrugged. “I dunno, it’s just- ugh.” Sophie paused and took a few deep breaths to compose herself, before continuing. “I’ve- recently, on occasion, I’ve been thinking- I’ve been thinking about going full-time. Actually, transitioning, you know?”
“Okay,” Dr Phillips said, making more notes on her pad. “When did you first feel like this?”
“Well- well it’s not so much a ‘first time I felt like it’,” Sophie said. “It’s more of a gradual thing, if that makes any sense?”
“A little,” Dr Phillips nodded. “Do- do you want to fully transition?”
“…I kinda do, but I kinda don’t,” Sophie admitted. “I see the happiness it brings my friends, but I- I-“
“You don’t know if it’d be right for you?” Dr Phillips asked, smiling as Sophie nodded. “That’s understandable. It’s not a decision that can be taken lightly, and of course you understand I can’t simply prescribe oestrogen based on ‘kinda do but kinda don’t.”
“And I wasn’t going to ask for it,” Sophie said. “But I’ve been recently thinking a lot, you know? Like, if push came to shove, I could- I could say goodbye to ‘James’, if I needed to. But I don’t think I could ever say goodbye to ‘Sophie’. But while I have the option of ‘both’, it- it’s like I have the best of both worlds. And I- I want to keep it that way.”
“As is your right,” Dr Phillips said.
“Even if it does mean the occasional hand up my skirt,” Sophie mumbled with a shiver.
“What I think will help,” Dr Phillips said, “especially for someone as, well, literate as you, is if you kept a diary of these feelings, what triggers these desires to transition, and what exactly you feel when you think about it.”
“Well- okay,” Sophie said. “And yes, I’m keeping a diary of ‘incidents’ as well.”
“Keep a diary of your feelings relating to them as well,” Dr Phillips advised. “Not for publication, but for your own sake.”
“I was about to say,” Sophie said, making her counsellor chuckle.
“You’d be surprised how much it helps, expressing your feelings, even if it is only in printed form,” Dr Phillips said, Sophie relaxing as she listened intently to her counsellor’s advice.
Sophie left the office just over 45 minutes later feeling relieved to been able to get a lot off her chest, but knowing that she still had a long way to go. She’d never told anyone before about her thoughts of transitioning, not even her friends, as while she knew they would be 100% supportive of her, she didn’t want to get their hopes up and ultimately disappoint them- and she was even more worried about getting her own hopes up and ultimately disappointing herself. She was also worried that she hadn’t seen- or worse yet, felt the last of ‘Hands’, but at her counsellor’s urging, she put such concerns to the back of her mind- after all, later that night, she had a date.
While ‘James’ had been on many dates in the past, for ‘Sophie’, it would be a new experience, and as such, she was initially clueless about the whole thing. However, as always, Sophie’s friends had been on hand to give her all the advice and assistance she needed- advice about how to act on a same-gender date, and most importantly, advice on what to wear.
Sophie arrived home to an empty flat, but rather than put the kettle on or relax and wait for her flatmates to return from their flights, Sophie headed straight to her bedroom to prepare for the evening ahead. Amy had told her that the getting ready for a date was almost as much fun as the date itself, and as she sat down in front of her mirror with her vast cosmetics collection spread out in front of her, Sophie could easily see why her friend would say that.
Unlike her subtle make-up that she wore to see her counsellor, for the date, Sophie went all out. A thick layer of foundation and bronzer was the first to be applied, followed by a liberal coating of smoky eyeshadow, thick eyeliner and fake eyelashes. Sophie took care to blend multiple different colours together to achieve the perfect look, and as she applied her scarlet lipstick, she couldn't help but muse on how applying make-up hadn't just become natural to her, but fun- and she'd unexpectedly become an expert on creating complicated and varying styles. Once her make-up was done, Sophie exchanged her comfortable tights and panties for a more 'controlling' thong, and removed her breast forms from her comfortable white bra and instead put them into a lacy black bra she'd been saving for special occasions- and the date certainly counted.
Sophie took extra care as she brushed out her hair into a loose but stylish bob, ensuring it wasn't as severe as the style she wore for work, but was still stylish and demure rather than anything too 'wild'. It was also, of course, the longest that Sophie's hair had ever been. Once her hair was brushed, Sophie reached into her jewellery box for a special pair of dangly silver earrings she'd received for her birthday last year from her friend Natalie, followed by a dainty silver chain and a smart black watch. As she fastened the timepiece around her wrist, Sophie let out a quiet giggle at the notion that she had enough jewellery to warrant owning a jewellery box- never mind the fact that she had pierced ears in which she could exchange earrings with ease and without any pain. Sophie's smile widened as she slipped her bare but immaculately pedicured feet into her most expensive pair of sandals, a pair with 3 thin ankle straps and a 4” stiletto heel, before opening her wardrobe and pulling out the dress she’d selected for the date.
The strappy dark mauve dress wasn’t anything too spectacular while it was on its hanger, but Sophie knew that once it was on her body, it would be the coup de grace. It wasn’t short- the skirt came to just above her knee- and it wasn’t snug either, as it required a belt, nor was it too low-cut due to Sophie’s lack of ‘natural’ cleavage. It was, however, perfect for Sophie's body once she’d slipped it on and fastened the belt around her wait. A liberal spray of perfume was next, followed by a handbag the same colour as her dress, and finally, Sophie’s look was complete.
The brown-haired woman grinned widely as she examined her reflection in her full-length mirror. It had taken her almost an hour to get ready, but it had been worth it and she had loved every second of it, every smell, every taste and especially every touch of the soft lace on her chest, the swishing of the dress around her thighs and even the feel of her feet in her high-heeled shoes. When ‘James’ had got ready for a night out, all he had to do was comb his hair, spray on deodorant, pull on a pair of trousers, a shirt and smart shoes and that was him done. ‘James’ had barely paid any attention to what he was doing whenever he got ready in the past, but Sophie had found that her friend’s advice was true- and she couldn’t wait for the date to begin. Sophie grinned as she heard the flat’s front door opened, and immediately decided that her three flatmates should be the first to see her new look.
“Ta-daaaaaooooohhhhh my god…” Sophie said as she opened the door and was confronted by the looks on the faces of her three friends- two of which were staring at her angrily, while the other was in a state of deep despair. “R- Rachel? What happened?”
“You’d know if you answered your fucking phone,” Amy snarled.
“I- I had it on silent…” Sophie feebly mumbled as the four women slowly sat down, Hayley and Amy sitting either side of Rachel as though they were her bodyguards.
“I’ve called your parents,” Hayley said softly to the weeping blonde girl. “Your mum will be here in a bit.”
“Oh- oh god, not my mum…” Rachel wailed as Sophie became more and more uncomfortable.
“Would- would someone please tell me what happened?” Sophie asked as gently as she could, before grimacing as Amy grabbed her arm and dragged her into the kitchen.
“If you must know,” Amy said in a quiet snarl. “Rachel was assaulted on a flight this afternoon. Sexually assaulted. By a passenger.” Sophie felt her entire body turn to ice as she tried to process what she was told.
“Oh- oh my god,” Sophie whispered. “Is- is she-“
“Okay?” Amy snorted. “Does she look okay!?” Sophie bit her lip as Amy’s eyes filled with rage again, before the ginger girl sighed and shook her head. “Ugh, Soph, I- I’m sorry, I don’t mean to take it out on you, I just- I just need to take it out on SOMEONE, you know?”
“How about the cunt that did that to Rachel?” Sophie asked as her state of shock began to dissipate and be replaced by a feeling of extreme anger.
“Yeah, right,” Amy snorted. “Director of Provident Sports. One of the company’s biggest contracts. We called the police on him when we returned to London and he was led away in handcuffs, but you know he’s going to just get an absolute army of lawyers, and they’re going to just, you know, batter Rachel in court…”
“…Yeah,” Sophie whispered. “We- we can’t let that happen. The company can’t let that happen, surely?”
“Who d’you think Alana and Masson are going to value more?” Amy snorted, triggering an idea in Sophie's head.
“I can think of someone…” Sophie said as she returned to her bedroom and took her phone off silent.
Twenty minutes later a knock came at the flat’s front door, and Amy opened it to be greeted by the angry faces of Amelie Masson and her fiancée.
“Bonsoir, Amy,” Amelie said quietly. “May we come in?”
“Of course,” Amy whispered, leading the two women into the living room, where Rachel broke down in tears yet again at the sight of her two friends.
“Oh, non, non non non,” Amelie whispered as she sat down beside the blonde woman and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “You cry if you must, Rachel. But we are not here to judge. We are here to be your friends only.”
“Shouldn’t she be in hospital?” Ellen asked.
“No- no, I’m- I’m okay,” Rachel whispered. “He- I- I’m not hurt, just…” The five other women in the flat tried to smile sympathetically as Rachel once again broke down in tears.
“’Just’,” Amelie snorted. “There is no ‘just’. I do not know what he did and I do not need to know. All I know is he crossed a line and must be punished. Three months ago, Sophie, my sister and I reformed the Tutu Project. I think it is time we used our voice.”
“If your father will listen to us,” Ellen snorted. “Or Alana.”
“We shall make them listen,” Amelie said confidently, before smiling sympathetically. “Rachel. You must not worry. Know that this is NOT your fault. You are among friends. Whatever help you need, we will give. All of us.”
“Absolutely,” Sophie said as all of the other girls nodded in agreement, before a gentle knock came from the front door. “That’ll be Rachel’s mother, we- we should give them some space.” The other four women all nodded in agreement as Sophie let the distraught girl’s mother into the flat, before retreating into the kitchen to allow Rachel and her mother to speak privately.
“…Okay,” Amelie said firmly as the women sat down at the kitchen table. “I am sure that you are all aware that this means war.”
“Umm… I’m all for fighting for my friends,” Amy said. “But who exactly will we be fighting?”
“My father,” Amelie replied in a matter-of-fact voice.
“Umm, but he wasn’t the one who attacked Rachel,” Hayley said. “That guy’s already in custody.”
“And on the phone to a thousand lawyers who will silence Rachel,” Amelie said. “I guarantee that my father’s lawyers shall not speak for Rachel. Where would be the money in that?”
“Well- I guess…” Hayley mumbled.
“Have you ever noticed how we’re probably the only major airline whose cabin crew don’t have a trade union?” Ellen asked.
“Have you ever noticed how we’re paid a lot better than most cabin crew, too?” Hayley asked.
“Have you ever noticed how we are treated much worse than other cabin crew?” Amelie asked, silencing her colleagues.
“…And we all know why,” Amy sighed, before pointing at herself, Hayley and Sophie. “Well, three of us do.”
“Oui,” Amelie conceded. “I do not know what it is, a man sees what he thinks is a man dressed as a woman and assumes he can treat them as he wishes. But I only see five women sat at this table. Because these same men believe they can treat all women as their possessions. As Rachel will tell you.”
“We can’t really fight the customers though, can we?” Hayley asked. “I mean, what CAN we do?”
“…We can tell Alana that enough is enough,” Sophie said. “Something Rachel told me that she doesn’t tell you is that on flights, she wears tights instead of stockings. We should all start doing that. God knows what would’ve happened to Rachel if she had worn stockings today. We can also wear lower heels, no corsets or girdles, more comfortable uniforms. For starters, anyway.”
“I doubt different hosiery would’ve made any difference at all,” Ellen snorted, inadvertently reminding Sophie that she still had a lot to learn about being a woman.
“And says the woman sitting in her kitchen in stilettos and a £200 cocktail dress,” Hayley said, making Sophie grimace and giggle at her attire.
“Ah- god…” Sophie sighed. “Completely forgot about my date…”
“I texted them before we came home,” Amy said. “Figured you’d- heh. Figured you’d be so wound up about what happened to Rachel it’d completely slip your mind. And, well, I was right. Right after all, heh.”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered to her friend, both for cancelling the date and Amy’s implied apology for how she’d spoken to Sophie earlier.
“Well, this is all well and good,” Hayley said, “but what good is wearing tights instead of stockings going to do if all it does is get us written warnings? It won’t help Rachel.”
“No, but it might help whoever’s next,” Ellen said. “And there will be a ‘next’.”
“Well- I don’t want to gamble my livelihood on this,” Hayley sighed. “No offence, Amelie but- but it sounds almost like you’re using this as an excuse to go up against your father.” Sophie bit her lip as the French girl frowned- she knew from experience that Amelie had a fierce temper, but much to her surprise, Amelie simply nodded.
“I can see why you might think that,” Amelie conceded. “But you all know that things must improve. You would not have spoken to Sophie for her book if you didn’t.”
“Yeah, but- and no offence, Sophie- it’s not like that did a lot of good,” Hayley said. “What happened to Rachel-“
“Was not my fault or the fault of anyone else sat around this table,” Sophie said, her stomach churning as she considered the possibility that without the book, maybe Rachel’s attacker wouldn’t have felt so bold.
“And we’re losing sight of the real issue here,” Amy said. “What’s best for Rachel right now.”
“Oui,” Amelie whispered. “And if I could travel back in him and rip the dick off of the man who attacked her, I would. But I can’t. But we must do something. We cannot let this go without consequence.”
“Well- I’m sorry, but I don’t think going after your father’s the right way of going about this,” Hayley sighed.
“You’ve got to start at the top if you’re going to make real change,” Ellen countered.
“What ‘change’, though?” Amy asked. “Slightly more practical uniforms won’t stop horny businessman from trying to grope us all the time.”
“And you know what I think,” Amelie said. “Which I think means it is two votes for and two votes against. Sophie? Where do you stand?” Sophie froze as she was put on the spot.
Even after almost two years, she still felt like an outsider in the airline, both because of her ‘real’ career and, most importantly, because of her ‘status’. At heart, she was a reporter, not a flight attendant. Flowing through her blood was testosterone, not oestrogen. The four women sat at the table were deeply personally invested in what they were discussing, but Sophie had an ‘out’- her writing career- whenever she wanted. In her mind, there was no one less qualified to cast the deciding vote than her. And yet, the more Sophie thought about, the more she realised she WAS just as invested in the discussion at hand, for many reasons both personal and professional.
“Well, I- I like eating, for starters,” Sophie said. “I’m hardly getting any shifts, and my savings are getting low, and- and I don’t mean this in a nasty way, Amelie, but- but you seem a little TOO eager to go up against your father.”
“His attitude DOES need changing!” Amelie protested. “If not by us then by who? Alana? She would need to take her mouth out of his ass to speak first!”
“So, you’re on their side?” Ellen asked disappointedly.
“The person who’s side I’m on,” Sophie said firmly, “is Rachel’s. And the question is: who’s gonna be next? Because that guy WILL get off. His lawyers will see to that. We need to do SOMETHING. Even if it just being allowed to wear tights instead of stockings on flights.”
“The five of us can hardly do anything, though,” Amy said. “We’d need, like, every stewardess in London on our side. And they’d need to know why we’re doing this. And we can’t do that to Rachel.”
“Well- no, no we can’t,” Amelie mumbled. At that moment, a knock came from the kitchen door, which opened to reveal the tear-streaked face of Rachel's mother.
“Hi,” the older woman said softly. “We’re going to head off now, Rachel’s going to stay at our place for the next week or so until she gets back onto her feet. We- we overheard a lot of what you were saying in here.”
“Ah- ugh, we are sorry,” Amelie said, her cheeks flushing with shame.
“Is she- is she okay?” Sophie asked.
“As ‘okay’ as she can be, under the circumstances,” Mrs Lyscombe replied in a quiet, scared voice. “She- she wanted you to know that- that her answer is yes.”
“…’Yes’ to what?” Ellen asked. “What did we ask?”
“’Yes’ as in yes, she wants to- to join this ‘union’ of yours,” Mrs Lyscombe said. “She knows that everyone will hear about her- hear about what- what happened eventually…” The older woman’s voice trailed off as tears began to well in her eyes, and almost immediately, all the women in the kitchen began to quietly weep too- Sophie included.
“Here,” Amy whispered, handing the older woman a box of tissues.
“Thank you,” Mrs Lyscombe whispered as she dried her eyes. “I’m- I’m going to take Rachel up to A&E, just to get her checked over, then we- we’ll head home. I’ll be in contact and let you know when she’s up for seeing other people. She wanted to say thank you to all of you for being such good friends.”
“Always,” Hayley whispered.
“And she wanted to say sorry to you, Sophie,” Mrs Lyscombe said, widening the brown-haired woman’s eyes. “For ruining your date tonight.”
“Oh, no- no. Just no,” Sophie said firmly. “She should never, ever apologise for that. Some things are more important, and Rachel’s one of them.”
“…Thank you,” Mrs Lyscombe said. “Thank you all. I will be in touch.”
“Thank you,” Amy whispered on behalf of the group.
“Oh, and, umm,” Mrs Lyscombe said, pausing before she left. “Rachel, she- she’s due on a flight tomorrow. Obviously, I’ll call in sick for her, but I was wondering if you could-“
“Consider it done,” Sophie whispered.
“Thank you,” Mrs Lyscombe said. “Thank you all again.” The five women nodded as the older woman left the apartment.
“We- we should probably get home,” Ellen said.
“Oui,” Amelie nodded. “We shall have a lot of phone calls and instant messages to send.”
“We’re definitely going through with this, then?” Amy asked.
“Things have to change,” Sophie said quietly as she remembered her own experience from earlier in the week- though a guilty feeling soon filled her as she realised that what happened to her paled in comparison to what had happened to her friend, and that her fears might have been right- if it wasn’t for the book, Rachel might well have never been assaulted. Sophie considered Rachel to be one of her very best friends, and her actions might have caused her irreparable harm.
However, as she got ready for bed later that night, Sophie reasoned to herself that nowhere in her book did it say that flight attendants should be attacked. Nowhere did it say that they DESERVED to be attacked- quite the opposite, in fact. The man, the animal who attacked Rachel was capable of thinking for himself. He was capable of making his own decisions. He had decided, all by himself, that he was going to try to force himself onto her friend. Rationally, Sophie knew that she played no part in that decision. How could she? She was hundreds of miles away on the ground at the time. And yet, Sophie still felt guilty. She knew full well the influence that ideas and suggestions can have on people. She wouldn’t have dressed in high heels and a cocktail dress that evening if it hadn’t been for a suggestion from someone else almost two years earlier…
Sophie was woken up the following morning by her phone, but rather than her alarm, it was an incoming call. Sophie immediately recognised the incoming number as her workplace, and a glance over at the other, empty bed in the room made Sophie realise why her employers were calling her.
“Hello?” Sophie said as she answered her phone.
“Hi Sophie, it’s Gemma here from work,” the voice on the other end of the line replied. “We’ve had someone call in sick and we need someone to step in on a flight to Berlin, can you make it in in an hour?”
“Umm, sure,” Sophie replied as she got out of bed and stretched her tired muscles.
“Thanks,” Gemma said. “Alana will want a word with you as well when you get in.” Despite herself, Sophie couldn’t help but let out a groan at the mention of her manager’s name- though as she ended the call, she realised it gave her an opportunity to speak her mind about everything that had happened the previous day, and maybe get the ball rolling on bringing about change for the airline- and to chase up the report she’d filed after her last flight.
Sophie walked into Heathrow airport a short while later, dressed in her usual smart attire of a clean white blouse, a knee-length black pencil skirt and stiletto-heeled pumps. Underneath her skirt, however, she wore translucent black tights instead of the regulation stockings- something Sophie had no intention of changing once she was in her uniform. With a determined look on her face, she headed to the employee-only area of the airport and knocked on her manager’s office door.
“Come in,” Alana said, smiling as Sophie entered the room and sat down opposite her. “Before you head off to Berlin, Sophie, I need to let you know about an incident that happened on a flight yesterday.”
“Yes, I already know- Rachel’s my flatmate,” Sophie said.
“Ah- of course,” Alana said. “It should go without saying then that we want to avoid any such incidents in the future.” Sophie allowed herself a small smile as her manager spoke- she knew from others that Alana used to be a flight attendant herself, so knew what it was like on the ‘front lines’. Sophie held out hope that what happened to Rachel served as a wakeup call to Alana, and that Amelie’s proposed ‘union’ wouldn’t be necessary after all…
“I couldn’t agree more,” Sophie said. “And I’m hoping that the person who attacked Rachel yesterday gets locked away for a VERY long time.”
“Yes, well,” Alana said, fidgeting awkwardly and causing Sophie’s heart to sink. “We’re hoping that will go away as soon as possible. I’m sure you can appreciate that one of our customers being led away in handcuffs isn’t a great visual for the airline, especially when he works for one of our biggest clients.”
“Well, him attacking a stewardess is hardly a great visual for THAT company, is it?” Sophie asked, her anger starting to boil up inside her.
“Well, that’s something for them to deal with,” Alana said dismissively.
“So- so what exactly are we supposed to do, then?” Sophie asked. “You want us to avoid incidents like that, well- well most of us do as well!”
“Good,” Alana said, her own anger starting to rise at Sophie’s insubordinate attitude. “You are to take every step necessary to protect the reputation and image of the airline.”
“…Fine,” Sophie said, taking a deep breath to calm herself.
“One other thing,” Alana said. “It has been brought to our attention that some flight attendants have been in breach of our uniform code. As you know, the uniform code is strict in order to maintain a perfectly professional image, and anyone found to have deviated from it, even slightly, will be subject to disciplinary action.”
“Well, then maybe the uniform code needs to be looked at,” Sophie said, barely keeping a lid on her anger.
“That’s not your decision to make,” Alana said bluntly.
“Maybe it should be,” Sophie said, triggering an awkward pause between the two women.
“…I’ve said all I need to,” Alana said. “You have a flight to catch. I suggest you try to be a bit more grateful that you have work today, Sophie. Might I also suggest that you be grateful that you even get to wear a skirt to work at all.” Sophie’s eyes widened as Alana’s final sentence struck every nerve in Sophie’s slender body.
It wasn’t that Sophie wasn’t grateful to be able to wear a skirt to work, it was the notion that without the airline’s uniform code, it would be impossible- something Sophie knew to be blatantly untrue. She was grateful to the airline for giving her the chance to discover ‘Sophie’, but she was more grateful to Rachel Harrison for approaching her about the opportunity. She was more grateful to Amy and Hayley for the love and encouragement they showed her during her first few weeks. She was more grateful to Dr Phillips for her professional support. And she was grateful to Rachel Lyscombe for her ongoing friendship and acceptance. And she was not about to let her friend be punished for a trivial violation of a draconian uniform code- especially not after what she had had to endure earlier that week. Which brought another thing to Sophie’s mind…
“I submitted an unacceptable passenger behaviour report earlier this week,” Sophie said. “Against Alan Hopkins. Is there any update on it yet?”
“It’s being looked at,” Alana bluntly replied. So, in other words, no, and there won’t be, Sophie thought to herself as she rose from her chair and left the office without saying another word. En route to the locker room to get changed, Sophie took out her phone and composed a simple text message to her friend Amelie.
‘Just spoke to Alana,’ the message read. ‘Went as expected. It’s on.’
Sophie’s flights to and from Berlin were incident-free, much to the brown-haired woman’s relief. When she returned to her flat and switched her phone back on, she was unsurprised to find several text messages from Amelie waiting for her, all reporting her progress in contacting the various stewardesses who worked for the airline. What did surprise Sophie, however, was a text message from her roommate.
‘Hey Soph,’ Rachel’s message read. ‘Just wanted you to know I’m feeling a little better today. I’ve been signed off work for 2 weeks by my GP and I’m going to be staying with my parents, assuming I don’t kill my sisters lol. Please let the rest of the girls know I’m thinking of them and I can’t wait to see them all again. I’ve been in touch with Amelie too about the thing you were discussing last night. Love Rach xx.’
‘I’ll let everyone know,’ Sophie replied. ‘Take care of yourself. We’re all here for you whenever you need us.’ Despite her best efforts, Sophie couldn’t help but let out a tear as she pressed the ‘send’ button, both at Rachel’s message and the memory of when she was at her lowest, on her birthday, when she’d explained to her friends her reason for working for the airline. Back then they had showed Sophie unconditional love and support, and Sophie felt that she owed Rachel the very same love and support a thousand times over.
Despite not having any shifts, the next five days passed quickly for Sophie as she worked on her book and kept in touch with Amelie and Ellen about their plans. Almost before she knew it, it was Thursday morning, and she was heading into work for her next scheduled shift, a quick trip to and from Dublin. When she entered the locker room to change into her uniform, though, Sophie was greeted by the last face she expected to see.
“R- Rachel?” Sophie asked the young blonde woman, who was in the process of changing out of her uniform. “What- what are you doing here? I thought you were off work for another week?”
“Yeah, well, so did I,” Rachel sighed as she handed Sophie a carefully folded letter.
“What’s this?” Sophie asked.
“First written warning,” Rachel replied. “Repeated violations of the uniform code.”
“You’re joking,” Sophie whispered as she read the letter, which confirmed what her blonde friend had just said.
“Hence…” Rachel sighed, gesturing to her legs and the black stockings that were covering them.
“Ugh,” Sophie spat, before taking her phone out of her bag. “I’m not taking a photo by the way, I’m texting Amelie.”
“Already done,” Rachel said. “It was also strongly hinted to me that this written warning means I needn’t bother applying for any promotions any time soon. That and my sick record.”
“You mean the previously unblemished sick record that-“ Sophie asked, grimacing as she was unable to finish her sentence in a tactful way.
“Yep,” Rachel replied. “THAT sick record.”
“Ugh,” Sophie spat, shaking her head in despair. "I- umm, ordinarily I'd offer a hug, but consider what-" Sophie stopped as the young blonde woman leaned into her chest and let out a gentle sigh, while Sophie gently wrapped her arms around her.
"I'm okay if it's another woman I'm hugging," Rachel said with a sad smile while Sophie blinked back tears of happiness that Rachel would consider her woman enough to hug, under the circumstances- and happiness that Rachel was slowly, but surely recovering from her attack.
“Are you heading home now, then?” Sophie asked.
“Well I’m damned sure not sticking around here,” Rachel snorted, defiantly removing her stockings and shoving them in her handbag before storming out of the locker room, leaving Sophie in a state of disbelief. When Rachel had started with the airline, Sophie had been her mentor during her first few months, and Alana had explicitly told Sophie that Rachel was being groomed for a senior role in the airline. And yet, through no fault of her own, Rachel had been practically thrown on the scrapheap. Sophie's mind immediately started worrying about just how vulnerable to the same rejection she and the rest of her friends were.
However, Sophie was confident that soon, things would change. Upon her return from Dublin, Sophie made her way around to Amelie and Ellen’s vast apartment, where many of her colleagues were already assembled.
“Sophie!” Amelie said, greeting the brown-haired woman with a gentle hug as she arrived.
“Wow,” Sophie said as she made her way through the thronging crowd. “You’ve got a lot of people here!”
“And these are just those who could be here tonight,” Amelie said. “Our week was tres productive!”
“Out of the 110 stewardesses who work at the hub,” Ellen explained, “we’ve signed up 87.”
“That- really?” Sophie asked. “That’s a HUGE majority…”
“Most of them have heard what happened to Rachel,” Amelie said darkly. “The rest heard what happened to her today.”
“It’s time things changed,” Ellen said defiantly. “One advantage of having a sister who’s studying politics at uni and who’s more left wing than Jeremy Corbyn is that she knows a thing or two about how to start a union! Most of the hard work’s already been done. Everyone’s organised. We know what we want. And we’re prepared to do whatever we need to do to make it happen.”
“Well- good,” Sophie said. “The sooner this is over, the better.”
“All we need do is elect a spokeswoman,” Amelie said.
“Umm, any reason you can’t do it?” Sophie asked as she joined Amelie and her fiancée on their plush sofa.
“Oui,” the Frenchwoman replied. “Because I am not a stewardess anymore!”
“Ellen, then?” Sophie asked.
“Meh, Alana HATES me,” the Mancunian woman said as she and Amelie continued to gaze at Sophie, with many of the other women soon joining in.
“Umm…” Sophie said, fidgeting under the gaze of her friends and colleagues. “And you think she likes ME?”
“The spokeswoman should be a transgender girl,” Ellen said softly. “We’re trying to change the uniform code. That was put in place to discriminate against transgender girls. It should be a transgender girl who speaks for us.”
“But- but I’m not even…“ Sophie mumbled, her voice trailing off as her cheeks reddened.
“Not even… What?” Amy asked. “Not even really a T-girl? Is that what you were going to say? Because if you do think that, you’re probably the only person in this room who does.”
“If you think that you are not really a woman, you would be the only one here too,” Amelie said, making Sophie bite her lip as everyone nodded in agreement.
“…If anyone should be a spokeswoman for us, it’s big mouth over there,” Sophie said, pointing to her ginger haired flatmate, who immediately got a look of pretend shock on her face.
“Shocked and appalled,” Amy said with a dismissive wave, before giggling. “Seriously though, I didn’t go to university, you did, you’ll be better at this than me, more, you know, legit.”
“Oh, get a room, you two!” One of the assembled women yelled, making Amy and Sophie simultaneously roll their eyes.
“…Okay, fine,” Sophie sighed. “So… What do we do now? My only experience of ‘unions’ is the Student Union when I was at uni, heh.”
“Yeah, trust me, that’s REALLY not the same thing,” Ellen chuckled. “First, we wait for everyone to arrive, either in person or by Skype. Then, we elect a chairwoman, secretary and treasurer, that way we make everything above board. Then, we work out what we want- though I think everyone in here is already in agreement there, heh. Then tomorrow, you go into Alana’s office and make her listen to us.”
“Great!” Sophie said with forced enthusiasm, though inside, she was shaking with fear.
Sophie had no problem with the principle of trade unions- she was a member of a journalists’ trade union, albeit one where her only activity was paying her annual membership fee. This, however, would be different. Sophie would be expected to not only be a member of the union, but represent them to their manager- and even worse- from Sophie’s perspective, at least- was the feeling that she was expected to represent the whole of womankind. And yet, despite her anxiety, Sophie was forced to concede that she was not an outsider- in that room, she was truly one of the girls. She’d worked for the airline longer than many of the other women. She’d even lived life as a woman for longer than some of the other women. They all respected and trusted her enough that they wanted her, and only her, to speak on their behalf. Sophie wanted to help her friends in any way she could- and she was extremely passionate about helping her fellow transgender women in any way she could. Sophie was among friends, and she knew that- but she was still anxious.
Even though all of her friends were aware of her ‘status’ and had been for months, Sophie still occasionally felt like an impostor, especially when she was the centre of attention. This was because even though her friends had all accepted her for who she was- and more importantly, so had Sophie herself- there were two very important people in her life who hadn’t; who didn’t know about Sophie's continued desire to live her life as 'Sophie'. Her parents still thought she was only running out the clock at the airline to avoid rousing suspicions about the book. They still thought that she secretly hated being ‘Sophie’, and was only living her life for work only. They’d never met the friends that she truly loved, had never met ‘Sophie’- and had never even seen ‘her’ in the flesh. And as dyed in the wool Thatcherites, Sophie shuddered to think what they would think about their son pulling on a dress and heels and leading a trade union…
However, as Sophie often rationalised to herself, her life was her own. Not her parents’, not her friends’, but hers, and she was free to live her life however she wanted. And she wanted to help her friends. She’d written the book in part to help her friends, she’d immersed herself in femininity in order to help her friends, and she was at the meeting to help the friends that she loved- especially Rachel. Sophie reminded herself that what happened to Rachel shouldn’t ever happen to any woman, ever. And she would do anything to ensure that it never would again. If it meant confronting her manager head on, it was a price Sophie was willing to pay. If it meant doing so wearing a dress and heels, then to Sophie it was a bonus. But if it meant becoming estranged from her parents…
The meeting continued until late into the evening. Much to Sophie’s relief, she wasn’t nominated as chairwoman of the union, with that role going to Ellen instead, who quickly took control of the meeting and laid out the demands that Sophie would provide to Alana the following day.
That night, Sophie barely slept as she replayed the evening’s events in her head, and tried to mentally prepare herself for the following morning. She played and replayed every worst case scenario in her mind- of Alana getting angry, or her laughing in Sophie’s face, or her calling security and having Sophie literally thrown out of the airport- and her underwear falling down for everyone to see…
The following morning, Sophie woke up early and took a long, hot shower, thoroughly removing any body or facial hair before returning to her bedroom to prepare for the day ahead. Even though she would only be applying a light, subtle layer of make-up, Sophie took even more care on her look than she did for her aborted date, making sure her eyeshadow was flattering, but not overbearing, making sure her lipstick wasn't too bright, making sure her nail polish was free from any chips... Once her make-up was done and she was clad in a comfortable bra and thong, Sophie took a deep breath to calm herself before fastening her pristine white blouse, and then zipping herself into her smartest black pencil skirt. Despite her anxiety the previous night, Sophie felt no awkwardness as she slipped her feet into a pair of smart court shoes with a blocky 3” heel, nor did she feel awkward as she grabbed her handbag and left the flat, making her way through the bustling London crowds. She was not ‘dressing up’- she was simply ‘dressing’. They were her clothes that she was wearing, that she had earned the right to wear. No one was going to take that away from her- no one could, not Alana, not her parents, not anyone. She deserved to be seen as a woman just as much as any of the other women she passed on the street, or any of her colleagues that she passed as she entered the employee-only area of Heathrow airport- all of whom gave her supportive thumbs-ups en route to Alana’s office.
“Come in,” Alana said as Sophie knocked on her door, before entering and standing in front of her with a neutral expression on her face and a plain white envelope in her hands. “Oh- hello Sophie, I thought you didn’t have a flight today?”
“I- I don’t,” Sophie replied, clenching her jaw to keep her teeth from chattering with nerves. “I’m here to give you this.”
“What is it?” Alana asked as she took the envelope from her employee.
“It’s a list of demands,” Sophie said stoically. “I am here on behalf of the newly-formed Soixante-Trois Airlines Employees’ Union. Following what happened last week, and your reaction to it, we have decided that things need to change. We want a complete overhaul of the uniform code including the removal of the ‘commuting attire’ regulations, we want additional safeguarding measures on place in flights, including but not limited to CCTV throughout all areas of the planes, including non-passenger areas, we want the maximum age of flight attendants to be raised to at least 35, and we want greater sanctions to be taken against passengers who are found to have committed unacceptable passenger behaviour.”
“…I see,” Alana said in a quiet, almost timid voice as she read Sophie’s letter. “And what will happen if we don’t meet these demands?”
“We are prepared to take industrial action,” Sophie replied with a gulp.
“All of you?” Alana asked.
“Enough of us,” Sophie replied. “Enclosed in that envelope is a list of the names of all of the employees who have joined the union. All 87 of us.”
“…I’ll need to put this to management,” Alana said.
“Please do,” Sophie said. “And please do take this seriously, because we’re serious about wanting change.”
“I can tell,” Alana said, before sighing. “Sophie, this- this isn’t a bad place to work. Every airline requires their staff to wear a uniform. Every flight attendant has to deal with unruly customers. And every airline is only established with one goal in mind- to make profit. You and the rest of your union are paid much better than you would be at, say, Virgin or Emirates. Not to mention the ‘other’ thing…”
“What oth- oh,” Sophie said. “THAT other thing.” The untrue notion that Soixante-Trois are the only airline that would even think of employing transgender cabin crew, Sophie thought to herself.
“Yes, THAT other thing,” Alana said, before sighing and gesturing for Sophie to sit down. “Sophie, you- you know I used to be a flight attendant myself, right? For the airline, I started in 2005 and have been lucky to be here ever since.”
“Back then, did you have to wear a uniform like the ones we have to wear?” Sophie asked.
“No I didn’t,” Alana conceded. “But I would’ve done if I’d been asked. Just as back then, I didn’t have any transgender colleagues, but I would’ve worked alongside them if I’d been asked.”
“…What difference would it have made if your colleagues had been transgender?” Sophie asked, trying to keep her anger under control.
“Well, umm, it-“ Alana stammered. “It would’ve just been different, that’s all.”
“…You’ve been a manager here for almost four years,” Sophie said. “In all that time, have you ever noticed any difference between those of us who were born female and those who weren’t?” Because in two years, I haven’t, Sophie thought to herself.
“Well, umm, not really,” Alana mumbled.
“And in all that time,” Sophie continued, “have the number of unacceptable passenger behaviour reports increased, or decreased?”
“…They’ve increased,” Alana replied. “Look, Sophie, if you- if you want more shifts, I’m sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.”
“It’s not just about me,” Sophie said.
“Well- fine,” Alana sighed. “I WILL pass this along to senior management, Sophie, I promise. But you need to think carefully about what you do next, because things could get a lot worse for you.”
“One of my very best friends was assaulted on a flight last week,” Sophie said quietly. “I can’t see how things could get any worse than that.”
“…I’ll get back to you soon,” Alana said.
“We will be chasing this up if you don’t,” Sophie retorted, before sighing as she left the office. Sophie took several deep breaths to calm herself as she strode through the concourse of the vast airport, before finally letting out a loud sigh as she was greeted by her French friend.
“Is it done?” Amelie asked.
“Yep,” Sophie replied. “If it hasn’t hit the fan, it’s definitely on its way to it, heh.”
“If, hits- fan?” Amelie asked, wrinkling her nose in confusion.
“Ah- sorry, keep forgetting you don’t know a lot of English slang,” Sophie sighed. “Umm… There’s no undoing what we’ve done.” Much like there’s no way of undoing ‘Sophie’, Sophie thought to herself, though she mused that if she had the opportunity to live the previous two years all over again, she wouldn’t change a single thing.
The weekend passed quietly for Sophie as she anxiously awaited her manager’s response. Amy and Hayley both had flights on Saturday and Sunday, while Rachel remained at her parents’ house, leaving Sophie at a loose end. She tried to occupy her time by writing her second book, but every time she tried to put her thoughts into words, she couldn't shake the situation with the airline from her mind- along with the nagging feeling that it might be the beginning of the end of her time as a flight attendant…
On Monday morning, Sophie received a phone call from the airport, though as she expected, it wasn’t to tell her that a shift had become available, but that Alana wished to meet with her. As she had on Friday, Sophie ensured that her look was smart, professional and effortlessly feminine before she headed to the airport. As with Friday, though, Sophie was shaking with nerves as she approached the office, even though she had the chairwoman of the union with her for support.
“Thank you for coming,” Alana said stoically as Sophie and Ellen sat down opposite her. “I have passed your requests on to senior management, who have reviewed them and are prepared to offer the following compromise.”
“We’re listening,” Ellen said stoically.
“We are prepared to offer all cabin crew working in the London hub a 3.5% pay rise, effective from the end of this month,” Alana said, bringing confused looks to both Sophie and Ellen’s faces.
“Umm, but we didn’t make any demands about pay,” Ellen said.
“Like you so often remind us, our pay is great,” Sophie said. “Our demands are concerning the uniform code and working conditions.”
“Yes,” Alana said. “But management have reviewed the situation and believe that a pay rise of 3.5% is more than generous and should easily cover any concerns that you have.”
“Will it compensate Rachel for what happened to her?” Sophie asked, silencing her manager. “I didn’t think so.”
“The uniform code is too set in stone, too well-established to alter now,” Alana said. “If we alter it for everyone in London, we’ll have to alter it for everyone in Paris and Berlin as well.”
“That’s the idea,” Ellen said.
“But your union doesn’t speak for anyone from Paris or Berlin,” Alana retorted. “Take the 3.5% and be grateful, especially you, Sophie.”
“Wh- why me, exactly?” Sophie asked.
“Because- because the uniform code was designed to help transgender girls,” Alana explained. “To help you feel more feminine, more glamorous.”
“I don’t-“ Sophie said, before taking a deep breath and speaking from the heart. “I don’t need tight corsets, stockings and suspenders, tight skirts or extra-high stiletto heels to feel more feminine, just as neither or you two do. I only need myself to be who I truly am on the inside.”
“And yet you’re sat there in a tight skirt and high heels,” Alana retorted.
“But I don’t wear this all the time,” Sophie shot back. “And I AM Sophie all of the time. I don’t suddenly turn back into ‘James’ simply because I take off the uniform. Nor do any of the other women who work here. And that’s exactly what we all are- women. Not just transwomen, not some form of fetishist sissies, but women. End of story.” Sophie sat back in her chair, her heart swelling with pride as her friend smiled at her, as if to confirm that even though Ellen had been born female, Sophie was as much a woman as she was.
“Will you be willing to negotiate with us about any of our demands or not?” Ellen asked sternly.
“We will not,” Alana replied. “The 3.5% is our offer, and it is our only offer. Your requests for a review of the uniform code and other operating procedures are denied.”
“Well, then,” Ellen said. “It is my duty as chairwoman of the union to inform you that last night, we took a vote, in which 64 out of the 87 of us voted to reject any offer from management that did not include a review of any of our demands. As such, you leave us no choice. As of today, Monday the third of June 2019, the members of this union are officially on strike.”
TO BE CONTINUED
“We’re not objects!” Sophie chanted, backed by dozens of her friends and colleagues. “We’re not objects!”
“You go, girls!” A passer-by, a young woman in her early twenties, said, giving the picket line a thumbs up as she walked past them and into the vast concourse of Heathrow airport. Nevertheless, Sophie still felt uneasy.
It wasn’t due to the fact that she was stood alongside her friends wearing a smart blouse, a straight pencil skirt and high-heeled shoes. If anything, her clothing acted as a source of comfort to Sophie, despite the heat of the June sun shining down on her. It wasn’t even due to the fact that in the ten days since the start of the strike, over a third of the original strikers had crossed the picket line and returned to work. And it wasn’t even due to the fact that Sophie had received no wages in the previous ten days, or had even the remotest contact with management. What caused Sophie the most unease was one simple question: ‘Am I doing the right thing?’
Sophie had been incensed when she’d heard of Rachel’s attack. She’d been so riled up, so angry that she hadn’t hesitated to go along with Amelie and Ellen in blaming the airline for the attack and joining their union. The fact that the majority of her friends and colleagues also joined the union, and the continued silence from management seemed to justify her anger- initially, at least.
As time went on, Sophie found her resolve wavering more and more. The more she thought about it, the more she realised that there was very little the airline could have done to prevent Rachel’s attack. The attacker- who had been formally charged and would stand trial in the UK- would’ve found his way into the galley some way or another, even if the doors were locked or CCTV was installed, or if she wore tights instead of stockings, or lower heels or a skirt that was less tight. Striking wasn’t going to undo Rachel’s attack. It likely wouldn't even prevent the next one, even if the union’s demands were met and security and safety on the planes was improved. There were times when Sophie felt that the only person who would actually benefit from the strike was Amelie, in furthering her feud with her father.
However, whenever she felt uneasy about continuing the strike, Sophie’s resolve was bolstered by the sheer number of friends that still supported the strike, the union, and Sophie herself. She was still one of the girls, and the other women looked to her for leadership just as much as they did with Ellen or Amelie. Sophie just wished she could provide the leadership they needed- and she wished she could silence the niggling voice in the back of her head that told her that she didn’t belong, either as a union member or as ‘Sophie’.
Ten days earlier, Sophie had strode into Alana's office as a cool, confident woman, both outwardly and inwardly. She had felt every bit as female as Amy or Hayley, or Ellen, Amelie or Rachel- or even Alana herself. Sophie had been confident enough to tell her boss off for patronising not just her or her transgendered friends, but womankind as a whole with her speech on how the dress code was 'doing her a favour'. But that confidence quickly wavered when Sophie went from speaking to her manager one to one to representing her union, and womankind as a whole, to the entire world. She knew that there were people following the strike who would never accept her or any of her transgendered friends as women, and even worse, people who might accept Amy or Hayley, but never Sophie herself- and Sophie was forced to concede that had 'James' been following the strike as an outsider who had never experienced life as 'Sophie', 'he' might have fallen into that latter category. For the first time in a long while, Sophie began to doubt whether or not 'Sophie' had any place in the world- or in her life...
“I’m going to get something to eat,” Sophie said to the girls stood next to her. “Any of you guys want anything?”
“Yeah, I’m going to go in a bit too,” Amy replied. “But aren’t you going to stick around for the camera crew? They’re going to be here any second…”
“Yeah, I- I might not…” Sophie mumbled, grimacing as her ginger haired flatmate groaned and rolled her eyes. “What?”
“You really don’t like taking credit for your work, do you?” Amy asked, smirking as Sophie rolled her eyes. “First the book, now this… You have helped a lot of people, Soph. Take some pride!”
“Yeah- well, it’s not really that easy,” Sophie sighed. “If I appear on TV, even local TV, there’s every chance my parents will end up seeing my- well, THIS face.”
“So?” Amy shrugged. “You said your parents know all about ‘Sophie’, even if they do think you’re only doing it for the job, right?”
“Yeah, but-“ Sophie said, before sighing. “They’ve never actually seen THIS face before. Not even in photos.” Sophie grimaced as her flatmate let out another groan.
“You know they’re going to have to eventually, right?” Amy asked. “Unless you plan on going through your whole life hiding in the shadows?”
“Yes, yes, okay!” Sophie snapped, before sighing. “Ugh, can- can we just not talk about this right now, please?”
“Okay, I’m only trying to help,” Amy said. “But you know I’m telling the truth.”
“Maybe,” Sophie said. “If- when, umm, when I do, you know, tell them, would- would y-“
“Yes, of course I’ll go with you!” Amy said, a wide grin spreading across her face as she shared a hug with her flatmate. “As long as you DON’T tell them I’m your girlfriend.”
“You wish,” Sophie snorted, before sighing as a news van pulled up a short distance away and began unloading camera equipment.
“…Go and get us some lunch,” Amy said with a pretend tired chuckle. Sophie grinned as she walked away, though deep down, she knew her friend was right- there was no way she’d be able to hide ‘Sophie’ from her parents forever. The only way would be to make ‘Sophie’ a thing of the past, and that was a price she was unwilling to pay. Or at least, a price she'd previously thought she was unwilling to pay…
Sophie returned from the nearby café roughly twenty minutes later with a bag full of baguettes and salads, but her heart sank when she saw that the camera crew were still present and speaking to her friends. Sophie hoped that she could sneak back into the crowd without being noticed, but as she approached, Amy and Hayley immediately waved her over to where the news crew were stood with their cameras and their microphones, making Sophie curse silently.
“Umm… Hi…” Sophie said, her cheeks reddening as the cameras pointed toward her.
“Hello,” the reporter said with a professional smile. “We understand that you’re one of the ringleaders of the union, is that correct?” Sophie grimaced at the use of the word ‘ringleader’- her training in journalism meant she knew that when putting together an article, whether in print or on camera, the choice of words is always the most important thing. A 'leader' is a person of nobility, a person to be admired and respected, like an army general or royalty. A 'ringleader', however, is someone who acts in the shadows, coerces rather than encourages, is sinister rather than noble. Two can play at this game, Sophie thought to herself.
“I’m a spokesperson,” Sophie replied stoically. You’re not going to trap me, Sophie thought defiantly.
“Do you have any comment on the continued disruption being caused by your strike?” The reporter asked, and Sophie tried her hardest not to smirk as she realised that the reporter clearly wanted to play a game, but had no idea who she was playing with.
“Management’s ongoing refusal to cooperate with us is disappointing,” Sophie replied. “Our requests for better working conditions are reasonable, and it is only with great reluctance that we take this necessary action.”
“And what do you have to say to the passengers whose journeys are being postponed or cancelled by your strike?” The reporter asked. I didn’t realise the UK even broadcast Fox News, Sophie thought to herself as she narrowly avoided rolling her eyes.
“I would ask them to be please be patient,” Sophie replied. “We don’t want to have to take this action, but to protect the safety of our colleagues, we must continue until management are willing to meet with us.”
“Thank you for your time,” the reporter said, and while she showed no outward emotion, Sophie knew that inside, she had to be fuming at her replies. Sophie maintained a professional smile until the news crew had packed away, before letting out a long sigh and staring angrily at her friends.
“Seriously, guys?” Sophie hissed. “What did I literally just say about not wanting to speak to reporters?”
“We’re sorry, okay?” Amy replied with an exasperated sigh. “They showed up wanting to speak to someone in charge, and as Amelie and Ellen are in Manchester today…”
“And we- we were kinda nervous ourselves about speaking to reporters,” Hayley mumbled. “And we know you are too, but, like, you’re a journalist, you know the right things to say…” Like I just did, Sophie thought to herself with a grimace.
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Sophie sighed. “Let’s just hope my parents don’t see it, heh.”
“When are you next going to see them?” Hayley asked.
“Tomorrow,” Sophie replied. “Assuming Alana or the others inside there don’t decide to come out here and talk to us?”
“So… tomorrow it is, then,” Amy said with a tired chuckle as Sophie handed out their lunches, before returning to their picket line.
Sophie, Amy and Hayley remained at the picket line until mid-afternoon, when all the women present, satisfied that their message had been heard, dispersed and headed back to their respective homes. As she rode the tube, however, Sophie couldn’t help but fidget uncomfortably not just because of the day's events, but because of what awaited her the following day. This discomfort didn’t go unnoticed by her flatmates, who both flanked Sophie on the short walk back from the tube station to their home.
“Hey,” Hayley said softly. “You okay?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied, before shrugging. “Yeah, I guess…”
“Really, though?” Amy asked.
“…Okay, maybe not,” Sophie sighed.
“Yeah…” Hayley grimaced. “We- we’re sorry about the interview, again, we- we just thought-“
“Honestly, it’s okay,” Sophie chuckled. “On this occasion I can, you know, ‘take one for the team’. And I can’t think of a better team to, well, ‘take one’ for than Team ASH, hehe!”
“Depending on what you’re ‘taking’,” Amy teased, giggling as Sophie rolled her eyes at her.
“Like I said before, you wish,” Sophie retorted. “It- ugh. It’s my parents I’m more concerned about. Like, you know, it’s becoming harder and harder to keep ‘Sophie’ away from ‘James’s parents.”
“…So don’t,” Amy shrugged.
“That’s not always an option, though,” Hayley reminded her ginger-haired friend, who grimaced at her own insensitivity.
“Okay, so maybe it isn’t,” Amy conceded. “And- yes, I’m sorry if that sounded a bit insensitive, but- but you know you’re only delaying the inevitable, right? I mean- well…”
“Yeah, I know,” Sophie sighed. “And I honestly do know, you know? It’s just- ugh. I want to do this on my own terms. And I want to be prepared in case- well, in case of the worst-case scenario.”
“I get that,” Amy whispered. “And we will ALWAYS support you, Soph. No matter what, right?”
“Team ASH forever!” Hayley cheered, bringing the smile back to Sophie’s face as the three of them returned to their apartment. As Sophie headed to her bedroom to change, though, a wave of guilt washed over her as she realised that however stressed out she was about her parents, her problems were trivial compared to those of her friends.
Sophie frowned as she gazed over at the stripped, unclaimed bed in the corner of the room that used to belong to Rachel Lyscombe, but which hadn’t been slept in in weeks. Following her attack, Rachel had temporarily stayed at her parents’ home, but as the days went on, that arrangement gradually became permanent. The combination of both the attack and the disciplinary measures she’d been subjected to made Sophie doubt that Rachel would ever return to the airline, and made Sophie fear that Rachel might never again be a regular part of her life. Sophie tried to put such pessimistic thoughts to the back of her mind, but she was forced to concede that if she was in Rachel’s position, she would likely do the same- and she could very easily have found herself in Rachel’s position. As she removed her make-up and changed into a comfortable long t-shirt and leggings, Sophie couldn’t help but muse that ‘James’ would never have been in the position that Rachel was- or ‘Sophie’ could potentially have been…
“Hey, Miss Connelly!” Amy teased as Sophie returned to the living room, briefly putting a smile back onto the brown-haired woman’s face. “Feeling any better?”
“Meh, maybe a little,” Sophie shrugged. “Still missing Rach, though.”
“Yeah, me too,” Hayley sighed. “Not just ‘cause it makes me the youngest in the flat again, heh.”
“She is signed off sick for at least another month,” Amy said. “Doubt she’ll be back that quick, though. Heh, doubt WE’LL be back that quick…”
“How- how are everyone’s savings, anyway?” Sophie asked hesitantly, dreading the answers to her question.
“Been better,” Amy shrugged. “My- my child support’s due on Saturday, though, and it is Jade's birthday later in the month too. I am seeing her and her mother tomorrow, though, hopefully we can, you know, work something out…”
“Yeah, I’ve got direct debits too,” Hayley sighed. “And I need to get a present for Alicia as well, it was her birthday a couple of weeks ago, and with everything that’s been going on…”
“Yeah,” Sophie whispered. “She- she’s been going into work, hasn’t she?”
“Who, Alicia?” Hayley asked. “Yep, she joined the union, paid her dues, but just- just went into work as normal.”
“She’s always seemed a bit odd to me,” Amy mused, before shrugging. “Ah well. We were never going to get EVERYONE joining the strike.”
“Yeah, true, I guess,” Sophie sighed. “And I’ll be honest, I- I’m starting to feel a bit, you know, skint…”
“I think we all are,” Amy sighed. “I think that’s the plan- wait for us to all run out of money and come back with our tails between our legs. Then probably, I dunno, make us dress as Playboy bunnies on flights or something.”
“…That could be fun,” Hayley shrugged, earning a smirk from her two friends.
“Oh, definitely,” Amy said. “For a party, or maybe a hen night, but NOT while I’m trying to serve drinks on a plane and trying to keep horny businessmen away from my arse.” Sophie and Hayley both nodded quietly as they contemplated the unpleasant thought.
“Well, we- we just need to stand our ground,” Sophie said. “Show the airline that we won’t be pushed around anymore, right?”
“Right!” Amy and Hayley cheered simultaneously.
“Even if I now really, really want to have a costume party where we dress up as bunny girls,” Amy chuckled. “Which we can’t really afford right now.”
“Well- when the strike ends, we can celebrate,” Hayley shrugged. “And as it was partly Amelie’s idea, she can pay for the costumes, heh! She can afford it, right, Soph?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Oh, umm, yeah, I reckon she’d be up for it. Dunno that I’d, you know, ‘fit’ a costume like that, heh.”
“Oh, come on, why not?” Amy asked.
“Because it’s a strapless bodysuit that’s designed to make you spill out of it,” Sophie replied. “And I don’t have anything to, you know, ‘spill’…”
“Oh, please,” Amy snorted. “Firstly, there are things we can do about that. Secondly, there are things YOU can do about it. And thirdly, who cares? If you want to be girly, and gorgeous, and dress in a bunny costume, why shouldn’t you?”
“Exactly,” Hayley said with a smug grin. “And you enjoyed the Hooters costumes we wore on my birthday, didn’t you?”
“…Yes,” Sophie replied, blushing as her friends both giggled. “Okay, so maybe the bunny party will be fun. I just- ugh, I dunno. Thinking too much about seeing my parents tomorrow, if they freak out at the thought of me wearing even this, god knows how they’d react to me in a costume like THAT.”
“Well, they definitely wouldn’t need to know about THAT,” Amy said. “Soph, you really need to get it into your head that what you wear, what you call yourself and how you live is none of your parents’ business.”
“If only it was that easy,” Sophie sighed as she relaxed back into her chair, wondering what discussion would be harder- telling her parents about ‘Sophie’ or telling her friends about her growing uncertainty about being ‘Sophie’.
Before the strike, Sophie had told herself that even if she no longer worked for the airline, ‘Sophie’ would still be a major part of her life, as would her friends, both those who work or formerly worked for the airline and the many others she’d made as ‘Sophie’. She’d even entertained the possibility for fully transitioning and making ‘James’ a thing of the past. However, even after just a week away from the airline, Sophie found that she was a lot less certain about her future. Whether it was due to stress about the increased likelihood of her parents finding out about ‘Sophie’, she couldn’t say- all she knew was that the thought of dressing up as a Playboy Bunny made Sophie more nervous than excited, and she didn’t dare tell her friends that…
Meanwhile, 150 miles north-west of London, another member of Soixante-Trois Airlines’s cabin crew tried to relax in her family home as she and her fiancée filled her mother in about the events of the previous few days. However, as she spoke, Ellen grew more and more nervous- not just about whether or not she'd have a job waiting for her when she returned to London, but whether or not her fiancée would have a family waiting for her if she ever returned to Paris.
“Now then, union girls,” Mrs Briggs said as she placed two mugs of hot, sweet tea in front of her daughter and her fiancée. “Other than the strike, how have things been these last few weeks? Seems like ages since you were both up here.”
“Well, that's just another advantage of the strike,” Ellen chuckled. “I actually get to come back home for a bit, heh.”
“But sadly, not for very long,” Amelie said. “After all, our leader of the union has responsibilities!”
“Yes, she does,” Mrs Briggs said. “And I’m glad to see she’s taking those responsibilities seriously at least some of the time! I was starting to worry that you were taking after your older sibling a little TOO much.”
“Oh, come on, that’s hardly fair,” Ellen retorted. “Natalie’s working really hard at her degree, you can tell she’s serious about achieving her ambition.”
“Britain’s first genderfluid MP,” Mrs Briggs chuckled with a proud smile. “Well, as long as she wears a red rosette, I know I’ll vote for her, so will plenty more.”
“As shall the two of us,” Amelie said with a smile.
“I didn’t know you could even vote in our elections?” Mrs Briggs asked.
“It is something I have looked at,” Amelie replied. “As I am to marry a British citizen, in Britain, I looked on the website of your government and-“
“-And that’s probably enough politics for now!” Ellen chuckled. “Including talking about the S-T-R-I-K-E.”
“Good,” Mrs Briggs said. “Because I’d like to talk about the W-E-D-D-I-N-G instead!” The older women grinned as the two younger women both giggled excitedly. “Did you say you wanted to get married in England, Amelie?”
“Oui,” Amelie replied. “Though it is that we would have one ceremony in England and one in France, as did Natalie and Zoe.”
“But probably England first,” Ellen said, before grinning and raising her voice as she heard the front door to the house open and close. “Though I’m not sure who’s going to be my maid of honour yet, or if either of my sisters are going to be bridesmaids…”
“Oh- shut up,” Sasha mumbled as she entered the living room and dropped herself into the chair furthest away from her sister.
“Hello to you too, sis,” Ellen teased, smirking as her sister rolled her eyes at her.
“Girls, don’t, not when we have company,” Mrs Briggs cautioned.
“Sorry, mum,” Ellen and Sasha both mumbled as Amelie grinned.
“Arguments in my family were not finished so easily,” the Frenchwoman said with a happy, yet at the same time sad smile. “My older brothers and sister would not listen to my mother so easily as she was to them, umm…”
“Their stepmother,” Ellen whispered softly.
“That’s part of why I never remarried,” Mrs Briggs said. “If any man didn’t get along with any of you four, he’d have been out of this house faster than one of your planes!”
“And speaking of guys,” Ellen teased her younger sister, “when are we going to meet this new fella of yours?”
“Soon, honestly,” Sasha replied bashfully. “He’s still getting settled in Manchester, don’t want to, like, ‘overload’ him too soon by bringing him round here…”
“No offence taken,” Mrs Briggs snorted. “And I certainly don’t mean any offence by this either, but it will make a change for one of my children to be in, you know, a non-LGBT relationship. Again, no offence intended.”
“Tch, straight people,” Amelie dramatically scoffed, before smiling. “It is okay. All that is important is that my future sister-in-law is with a person, man or woman, who makes her happy. As if she is to be unhappy, I shall have words with this man!”
“And I’ll have words with his leftovers,” Ellen said as she squeezed her fiancée’s hand, earning grins from her mother and sister.
“Yeah, well, that’s the most important thing,” Mrs Briggs said. “Being happy. If you two are happiest together, and if Matthew is happiest wearing a dress and calling himself ‘Natalie’, and if Sasha’s happiest with this- what’s his name, Kevin?”
“Kurt,” Sasha said.
“This Kurt fella,” Mrs Briggs continued, “then why should I or anyone else stick our noses in where it doesn’t belong?”
“I can think of many people who would wish to have parents such as you,” Amelie said with a smile. “Including me.”
“Well, come December, you will,” Mrs Briggs said. “Tough as far as I’m concerned, you’re already one of my girls.”
“Thank you,” Amelie whispered.
“So, then,” Sasha asked. “What’s happening with this strike?” The young woman giggled as the other three women in the room playfully jeered at her, though secretly, Amelie’s thoughts were still on the friends of hers who didn’t enjoy such a close relationship with their parents- and there was one of her friends in particular who was in her thoughts.
Sophie sighed as she stared at her reflection in her full-length mirror. She’d shed her casual clothes in favour of the loose shorts and tank top that she preferred to wear to bed, her hair was hanging loose and unkempt and her face had been scrubbed clean of make-up, allowing the 5 o’clock shadow underneath to start to show through. As she looked at her reflection, Sophie tried to make a note of all the things she saw. She saw ‘Sophie. She also saw ‘James’. She saw a flight attendant. She also saw a trade union activist. And a journalist. And a writer. A woman. A man. Daughter. Son. Fake daughter. Fake son. Fake woman. Fake man. Not a woman or a man at all, but something different- something Sophie didn’t know the word for, and that was what frustrated her more than anything else.
During her research for her second book, Sophie had interviewed many of her friends who had suffered from gender identity dysphoria, listening to their stories of how they’d look at their reflection and be convinced that what they saw was inherently, fundamentally wrong. They would look at the image of a man- or in some cases a woman- and see the exact opposite of what they felt they should see. Sophie had believed that if she truly felt transgendered, she’d be able to look in the mirror and see the same thing, or if she was truly cisgender, she’d see the opposite of what her friends saw. However, Sophie felt that she was neither transgender nor cisgender, she was somewhere in-between the two, and even though what she saw in the mirror was a mixture of man and woman, it still looked somehow wrong to Sophie.
What frustrated Sophie the most, though, was that the more time passed, the less certain Sophie became about her gender identity, when for all of her friends, the opposite seemed to be true. As she drifted off, Sophie wondered whether she would ever feel comfortable in her own skin again…
Hayley was the first of the flat’s residents to get up the following morning, taking care not to wake her still-sleeping roommate as she headed through to the bathroom for a quick shower before picking out an outfit for the day.
Even though she’d been living full-time as a woman for almost two years and transitioning for 14 months, Hayley still felt a thrill every time she opened her wardrobe and surveyed the treasures contained within. When she’d first become ‘Hayley’, she’d moved to London with one suitcase and a carrier bag full of clothes and precious few other possessions. Over the course of her employment with the airline, Hayley hadn’t just expanded her wardrobe, or increased her jewellery or make-up collection, but she’d made an actual home for herself. Her side of her bedroom was covered in items deeply personal to her- photos of happy times with her friends, mementos from the many parties and nights out she’d been on, and a large collection of books, among many other things. In the living room was her Xbox One X along with many games and DVDs and even more books- all of which Hayley earned, all of which was paid for by her wages from the airline. Which put Hayley in an impossible position.
On the one hand, she didn’t entirely enjoy her job. The passengers were frequently rude and disrespectful, especially those who questioned her ‘real’ gender. Even though she’d been taking oestrogen for fourteen months- another thing Hayley had had to earn- there were parts of her body she couldn't hide, such as her Adam’s apple, her 5' 9" frame, and other parts of her anatomy she would be only too happy to see the back of. The uniform, while exciting at first, soon became frustrating and uncomfortable to Hayley; and as her wardrobe expanded, the excitement provided by the uniform became less and less. And the long hours she worked only seemed to make things worse.
On the other hand, though, Hayley earned more money in her first month with the airline than she had doing any other job, ever. Enough to afford her first month of rent, several shopping trips- thanks to the airline’s generous clothing allowance- with money left over to build up her savings, savings that were already dwindling after ten days away from work. And the sad fact was that no matter what job she worked in, transphobia wouldn’t be far away. Hayley hadn’t just faced harassment at work, but on nights out, shopping trips, or even when simply walking on the street. And worst of all, she’d faced rejection from her own family.
When Hayley came out to her family, their immediate response was to reject her, to throw her away like she was a piece of trash, and for the first few months, Hayley felt like trash and believed she WAS trash. Over the two years that followed, Hayley had slowly regained her confidence, thanks to her counsellor, her friends, and, in no small part, to her employer. Sure, the uniforms were impractical and uncomfortable, and management’s policies were often draconian, but one thing was always true- Hayley was treated exactly the same as any other woman who worked for the airline. And that was a gift that money simply couldn’t buy. Hayley wanted to go back to work. But at the same time, she didn’t want to upset her friends- especially not the flatmate she’d only just got to know before she’d been so cruelly attacked. Even though they weren’t as close to each other as either of them were to Amy or Sophie, Rachel was still Hayley’s friend, and the last thing Hayley wanted to do was offend her. But at the same time, Hayley didn’t want to be skint, either…
Hayley took a deep breath as she picked out her outfit for the day. If she’d been on a flight, she would usually have worn a smart pencil dress with stilettos and the mandatory underwear (or lingerie, as Hayley secretly referred to it) and make-up. Today, however, Hayley dressed smart, but formal. A comfortable bra and pair of briefs. Translucent black tights. A plain-coloured long-sleeved top. A short black pencil skirt. Ballerina flats. Modest make-up. And absolutely no trace of a corset.
Satisfied with her look, Hayley quietly left the flat and headed to the nearby tube station for the familiar trip to Heathrow airport. Hayley deliberately avoided the small, but still loud picket outside the main entrance to the airport and headed to one of the staff entrances, using her pass to let herself in while taking a deep breath as she made the short walk to the nondescript but still imposing door. Hayley steeled herself before politely knocking on the door, hoping and praying that she had the strength for the confrontation she knew was to come.
“Come in,” Alana said, her expression remaining stoic as she saw Hayley enter her room dressed in her comparatively casual attire. “Oh, hello Hayley. Are you here representing the union?”
“Not today, no,” Hayley said, sitting down and taking a deep breath. “I wish to return to work. I am prepared to work today, in fact.”
“I see,” Alana said. “Under the circumstances, I shall ignore the violation of the dress code, provided you’re, well, wearing the appropriate underwear.”
“I’m wearing a bra, a pair of briefs and a pair of tights,” Hayley replied. “That’s appropriate for a 21-year-old woman, isn’t it?”
“Hayley,” Alana sighed. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the fact that you want to work, I do, but- but the dress code is rigid. Go home and change, if you come back dressed appropriately, I’ll find you a flight.”
“I AM dressed appropriately,” Hayley said firmly. “The dress code is also why a lot of us are out there rather than in here or on a plane.”
“That’s as maybe,” Alana said. “But rules are rules.”
“Rules can change,” Hayley said, before frowning. “Sophie told me that when you met with her, before the start of the strike, you told her that girls like us- like me, her Amy and all the other transgendered employees- should be grateful to get the chance to wear clothes like the uniform. I hope, over the last ten days, you’ve come to realise just how offensive that was. I don’t dress up to get some kind of thrill out of it. Maybe at first, I did, but today, I dressed like this because I am a woman. End of story. I used to respect the airline for treating all of us girls the same. Was I wrong to do so?”
“…Will you go home and change into proper commuting attire or not?” Alana asked.
“I’ll change into my uniform, but nothing else,” Hayley replied.
“Then I’m afraid we have no work for you today,” Alana said.
“…Fine,” Hayley said. “I’ll see you when you’re willing to be reasonable.” The 21-year-old woman took a deep breath to compose herself as she left the office, but after taking a few steps down the corridor, she let out a long groan. She’d been able to be defiant for now, but her savings weren’t going to last forever. Fortunately, though, there was one person Hayley could always rely on to take her mind off of any stress.
‘Hey dad,’ Hayley typed into her text messaging app. ‘Looks like I was right, I’ll be free today after all.’
A short while after Hayley left the house, her roommate rose from her slumber and headed through to the bathroom to relieve herself and take her own oestrogen pill. As Amy felt the hormone flow through her blood, she mused on the choice many of her fellow women took when they started oestrogen- the choice to never have children of their own. Oestrogen eventually rendered all transwomen infertile, and even though there existed the option of freezing sperm for use at a later date, it was an expensive option. However, for many transwomen, becoming parents was a very low priority when they began their transition. For Amy, though, the decision had been made for her long before she even took her first oestrogen pill.
Six years earlier, almost to the day, Amy- or as she was known at the time, ‘Andy’ had become a father to a little girl named Jade, despite the fact that they were only 17 themselves. At first, despite no longer being in a relationship with Jade’s mother, ‘Andy’ had been deeply involved in the infant’s life, working hard to provide for her and always being there when Jade needed them. All that changed, however, on ‘Andy’s 21st birthday- the day that ‘Amy’ came into the world.
Amy had hoped that she could just pick up from where she left off with her daughter, that she could simply explain to the 3-year-old that her father was now a woman and carry on with life as normal. Jade’s mother, however, had other ideas.
For over twelve months, Amy had no access to her daughter. When she was finally allowed to see her again, Amy was introduced as ‘Auntie Amy’, her father’s sister, and it was explained to Jade that her father had had to move away. At first, Jade took it in her stride, and gradually developed a bond with ‘Auntie Amy’, but as the years went on, the little girl began to miss her father- and Amy grew increasingly desperate to tell her the truth. However, the girl's mother made it clear to Amy that if she ever did tell Jade the truth, she would never see her again, leaving the transwoman increasingly desperate- not least because Jade’s sixth birthday was mere days away, and she wouldn’t be able to spend it with her. Nonetheless, Amy was determined to enjoy the day she did have with her daughter, and after showering and applying her make-up, Amy pulled on a floaty knee-length sundress, followed by a pair of strappy sandals with a 1.5” heel. Amy completed her look by tying her long flame-coloured hair back into a smart ponytail, before sighing at the sight of her reflection. She was undoubtedly a beautiful woman. Over two years of oestrogen had also given her soft skin and a slender but still curvaceous body. When combined with her comparatively short height of 5’ 4”, her long, flame-coloured hair and androgynous facial features, Amy had the look of a young woman who could easily be the mother of a girl like Jade. She just wished that she could be allowed to be her father, despite the circumstances…
After a short tube ride to St. Pancras station, and another train ride south-east, Amy soon found herself in her hometown of Sittingbourne, letting herself into her parents’ home and dropping her full, heavy carrier bags in the hallway.
“Hi!” Amy called out. “Anyone home?”
“Amy!” The young woman’s mother replied enthusiastically, opening her arms for a hug that her daughter was only too happy to provide. “I thought we weren’t going to see you until later?”
“Well, it’s not like I don’t have a lot of free time on my hands right now,” Amy said with a heavy sigh. “And, you know, I wanted to see you before we go and see Jade.”
“Of course,” Mrs Harris whispered. “I take it those bags are all for her?”
“Yep,” Amy replied. “Even if I don’t have a lot of free money right now…”
“I’ve been following your strike on the news,” Mrs Harris said softly as she led her daughter to the living room. “I understand why you feel you need to do it, but lesson one of being a parent is-“
“You can’t put your own needs first anymore,” Amy interrupted. “I know. Even though it’s a fact that if I did put my own needs second, I wouldn’t be sat here right now wearing a dress.”
“Well, maybe not,” Mrs Harris conceded. “Do you- do you think you’d ever have come out if we hadn’t, well, ‘pushed’ you?”
“…I dunno, maybe?” Amy sighed. “I mean, now that I have, I’m never going back. Ever. But that first step- well, yeah.”
“Well it is obvious you’re so much happier, the longer you live as a woman,” Mrs Harris said. “Anybody who knows you can see that.”
“It’s just a pity I can’t be a woman and a father at the same time,” Amy sighed. “I keep thinking about how I’m eventually going to tell Jade, how old she’ll be when I tell her, how angry she’ll be that I’ve lied to her for so long, or even, you know, how angry she’ll be at her mother, if she blames her for me lying to her for so long."
“You can’t keep obsessing over the worst-case scenarios,” Mrs Harris said softly. “It’s not like Jade’s stupid, after all. She’s a bright girl for her age, I’m sure she’ll understand. If that ex-girlfriend of yours ever lets her, anyway.”
“Well- true,” Amy sighed.
“Though I would have to say that, being her grandma and all!” Mrs Harris said with a proud chuckle.
“So you’ve forgiven me for making you a grandmother at the age of 44, then?” Amy teased, smiling as her mother rolled her eyes and sighed at her.
“I wouldn’t trade Jade for anything,” Mrs Harris replied. “Or you.”
“Aww, mum…” Amy mumbled as her cheeks started to redden.
“Though your father and I are still wondering if you’re EVER going to settle down with a nice young woman,” Mrs Harris said, smirking as her daughter rolled her eyes at her.
“I’m hardly going to settle down when I’m only 23 and my job involves jetting all over Europe at weird hours of the morning,” Amy retorted. “Well… It did, anyway. Either way, ‘settling down’ isn’t really a priority right now, you know?”
“I was engaged to your father when I was 23,” Mrs Harris retorted. “Either way, you need to have someone you can be with when times are hard, like this strike of yours.”
“I’ve got my friends,” Amy shrugged. “I’ve got loads of friends, actually.”
“Especially those two girls you live with?” Mrs Harris asked.
“Well, three girls,” Amy corrected her mother. “Well, okay, two girls right now, it should be three girls, and, well, it might be three girls again, but- ugh. Complicated situation.”
“I bet,” Mrs Harris said softly.
“And as well as friends…” Amy said, “I’ve always got you and dad as well. And that’s a lot more than can be said for a lot of my friends.”
“I remember you saying,” Mrs Harris sighed. “I wish I could knock some sense into some of these so-called ‘parents’.”
“Yep, so do I,” Amy said. “Though I can think of at least one case where the daughter also needs a little bit of sense knocking into them…”
Sophie let out a grunt as she woke up long after her friends had left the flat. She sighed as she padded through to the bathroom, making a point of not shaving as she showered and removed the colourful polish that had covered her fingernails and toenails for the previous few days. After drying her hair, she returned to her bedroom, where she examined her reflection in her mirror.
Standing before Sophie was the reflection of a young man. A skinny, not particularly tall, androgynous young man with slicked-back shoulder-length hair, but a man nonetheless. And yet, as ‘James’ examined his reflection more closely, he couldn’t help but see ‘Sophie’ in every aspect of ‘his’ face. Even though he was presenting as a man, he saw ‘Sophie’s unquestionably feminine lips, he saw her cheekbones, her eyebrows...
Even as James examined the rest of his body, he saw ‘Sophie’ in everything. His smooth, hairless skin. His narrowed waist and comparatively widened hips. Even his chest, while otherwise flat, seemed to have ‘Sophie’s’ shape to it. The only part of his body that was unquestionably not ‘Sophie’s’ was hidden away under ‘James’s’ underwear- and even there, James wasn't 100% sure.
The previous evening, ‘Sophie’ had looked into her mirror and hadn’t known what she’d seen. However, when ‘James’ looked into the same mirror, he was just as confused. All of the ‘mask’ had been stripped away- the clothes, the hair, the make-up, everything- and yet what was left wasn’t 100% ‘James’, just as what he saw the previous evening wasn’t 100% ‘Sophie’. What she saw in the mirror was still a mixture of ‘man’ and ‘woman’- and it still looked wrong to James.
The young man frowned as he pulled an old pair of jeans and a plain t-shirt out of one of his drawers- the only drawer than contained any of ‘James’s’ clothes- before slipping on a pair of old walking boots- ‘James’s’ only remaining footwear- and making a mental note NOT to grab a handbag as he left the flat.
As he walked through the streets of London to the nearby tube station, James mused as always on how anonymous he was. Despite his longer than usual hair (for a man, anyway), no one looked at him twice. He was a young man with light stubble wearing casual clothes- nothing out of the ordinary. And yet, James felt even more uneasy than when he made the same journey as ‘Sophie’. Sure, ‘Sophie’ attracted some disapproving looks from those who thought they saw a boy underneath all the make-up, and from those men who either didn't see any trace of 'James' or didn't care if they did, but ‘Sophie’ always took those incidents as proof that she was, indeed, a woman after all. As ‘James’ walked through London, he didn’t know what he was…
“Hi, it’s me,” James called out as he let himself into his parents’ home, consciously forcing himself to use his supposed ‘natural’ voice rather than ‘Sophie’s’ softer tones.
“Hello James!” The young man’s father said with a smile as he greeted his son with a firm, manly handshake. “How have things been recently?”
“Meh, the same as usual, I guess,” James shrugged. “Well, apart from, well, you know…”
“Yes,” Mr Connolly mumbled as he led his son through to the living room. “Well, at least you’re dressed properly today.”
“…I was thinking more about the strike?” James said. “I mean, you have been following it on the news, haven’t you?”
“Bits of it,” Mr Connolly replied. “Whenever it comes on the news we tend not to watch, in case we- in case we see…”
“Me?” James asked.
“The girl you’re pretending to be,” Mr Connolly replied darkly. “You know, the one good thing about this strike is that you could spend more time as the real you, as much as time as you want, in fact.”
“Well, I- I’m here, aren’t I?” James asked.
“For the first time in over a week,” Mr Connolly replied. “And I get that it’s not always easy, what with having to, well, keep up appearances around your flatmates-“
“My friends,” James interrupted.
“Well, quite,” Mr Connolly mumbled. “But if they were true friends, as you claim they are, they would understand you need to be who you really are, wouldn’t they?” And if you were real parents, you’d understand too, James self-pityingly thought to himself.
“Please trust that I do know what I’m doing,” James whispered, his cheeks starting to flush as his father smiled sympathetically.
“We do, of course,” Mr Connolly said. “You’re your own man. But we’re still your parents, and we do worry about you. Anyway, let’s not worry about all THAT. Have you decided what you’re going to do for your birthday next month? Assuming you’re back at your fake job by then, anyway.” And there’s that ‘fake’ word again, James thought to himself.
“Haven’t decided yet,” James replied with a shrug. “It’ll depend on shifts, and what Amy and Hayley are doing, I suppose.”
“Who are Amy and Hayley?” Mr Connolly asked. “Your flatmates?”
“Umm, yeah, I’m sure I’ve told you about them before,” James replied defensively- something his father immediately picked up on as a smile spread across the older man’s face.
“Ah, everything’s beginning to make a bit more sense now,” Mr Connolly teased. “Is there another reason you’re sticking around Amy or Hayley? Or both, even?”
“…I don’t know what you mean?” James replied.
“Of course you don’t,” Mr Connolly chuckled, before a serious look came across his face. “These girls, they aren’t- umm, aren’t-“ Like me? James thought to himself, before his eyes widened as he suddenly realised what his father was implying. Okay, James thought. If this’ll make life easier, I can roll with this…
“…It’s Amy,” James said, biting his lip as he immediately felt guilty for his lie. “And she- she’s, well, post-op. So no- well, you know…”
“Ah,” Mr Connolly said with a grin. “And as she’s, well…”
“Transgender?” James said.
“Well, yes,” Mr Connolly mumbled. “She- umm, he? She?”
“She,” James said.
“Well, she’d have no problem with you, well, pretending, right?” Mr Connolly asked. “I mean, they’re into that sort of thing, right?”
“Let’s- can we, umm, can we change the subject, please?” James asked awkwardly.
“Right, right,” Mr Connolly chuckled. “Don’t want to talk about THAT with your old man, I get it!”
“Yeah,” James said as he finally started to relax.
“I am really looking forward to meeting this ‘Amy’, though!” Mr Connolly said as James grimaced, realising he may have just solved one problem by creating an even bigger one…
Amy sighed heavily as she disembarked the train at St Pancras station and made her way through the crowds. Her time with her daughter had gone as it always had- Jade had been excited to see her grandparents and her ‘Auntie Amy’, had promised not to open her presents until her birthday and had asked how her daddy was. And, as always, Jade’s mother had warned Amy not to tell Jade the truth, meaning that Jade had gone away disappointed to not have any contact with her ‘daddy’, and Amy had gone away frustrated at having to keep up the charade and frustrated that it would likely be months before she saw her daughter again. Amy was, however, confident that things could always improve- proof of which was waiting for her outside a coffee shop near her flat.
“Hi Amy!” Hayley said with a grin as the ginger-haired girl approached her table. “Dad, this is Amy, my roommate. Amy, this is Denise, my- well, my father.”
“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Amy gushed as she exchanged air kisses with the older transwoman. “Hayley’s talked about you a lot.”
“Likewise!” Denise giggled. “I’d hoped that we’d get to meet some day. After all, we- we do have a couple of things in common.”
“Well- yeah, that’s true,” Amy sighed. “And to answer your next inevitable question, Hayley, yes, I’m okay, and so is Jade. And none the wiser about, well, the truth.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Denise said softly.
“Well, it could be worse,” Amy sighed. “I at least have a relationship with both my parents and my daughter. There are a lot of people who can’t, well, claim that… Sorry…”
“No, it’s okay,” Denise sighed.
“Just because things aren’t perfect for us doesn’t mean you have to pretend they are for you,” Hayley said softly.
“Yeah, but I don’t need to boast about it, either,” Amy sighed.
“I didn’t see it as boasting,” Denise shrugged. “If anything, it’s encouraging, you know? I’ve got one child back. If I follow your example, I might get more.”
“Well- okay, I guess,” Amy chuckled. “Are- umm, if you don’t mind me asking, anyway, are- are either of your parents still alive?”
“No,” Denise whispered. “Both passed away in 2011, one year before- well, one year ‘before’.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Amy said softly.
“And I know what you want to ask but are too polite to,” Denise said softly. “And the answer is yes, I did wait until they’d passed away before transitioning.”
“I don’t know that I’d have been able to wait that long, heh,” Amy chuckled.
“As well you shouldn’t,” Denise said. “No girl should, not really.”
“Or boy,” Hayley said quietly. “You know, if they’re going, like, the other way?”
“Absolutely,” Denise said, before grimacing. “How- how’s your friend Rachel? Hayley told me about what happened, and- well, parental instincts and all that…”
“Yeah,” Amy whispered. “We’ve not heard from her in a while, we- we’re kinda giving her some space, you know?”
“Understandable,” Denise said.
“But she knows we’re here if she needs us,” Hayley said. “Same goes for all our friends, if they need us or we need them.”
“Absolutely,” Amy said. “Though I- I’m sorry if that sounds like another boast, heh.”
“No, not at all,” Denise said. “As long as you don’t mind having an older friend?”
“Mind?” Amy chuckled. “I’d insist on it, hehe! Just a pity the airline’s too ageist to have you as a flight attendant with us, heh!”
“Well, I’d love to,” Denise said, “but I kinda don’t have the right qualifications. And I don’t speak a foreign language. And I probably wouldn’t fit in the uniform anymore, heh. Much as I’d love to try!”
“Hehe!” Amy giggled. “What is it you currently do for a living, Denise?”
“I’m a freelance computer programmer,” Denise replied. “I also do a bit of web design, debugging, that sort of thing.”
“Ah, now THAT’s cool,” Amy chuckled.
“We always had the best stuff on our home computers when we were growing up,” Hayley said. “Dad would always find these obscure programs that were really fun to fiddle around with. I never really got the hang of programming myself, though.”
“Well, as I’ve told you many times, it’s never too late to learn,” Denise told her daughter. “That goes for both of you, especially if your strike goes on for much longer.”
“Well, fingers crossed it won’t,” Amy said as a guilty look spread across Hayley’s face. “…Hayley? You okay?”
“Ugh, yes AND no,” Hayley sighed. “I- I nearly went to work today.”
“…Ah,” Amy said. “Well, it’s your choice, just because you’re in the union, it doesn’t mean you HAVE to strike.”
“Yeah, but I- I kinda feel, you know, like I’m letting Rachel down…” Hayley mumbled, tears starting to trickle from her eyes as she spoke.
“Hey, hey it’s okay,” Denise whispered as she leaned in to give her daughter a gentle hug. “You need to eat, and to eat you need to work, right? I’m sure your friend would’ve understood.”
“Definitely,” Amy said softly. “God knows it’s not like I haven’t felt the same way at times, heh. What stopped you?”
“Alana did, actually,” Hayley said, chuckling and regaining her composure. “I went in dressed like this, was told to go home and change and, well, only did one of those things, heh.”
“That’s my girl,” Denise said with a proud grin. “This whole ‘commuting attire’ thing sounds silly, anyway. Treating you like you’re schoolchildren or something.”
“Meh, they pay the wages, they get to set the rules,” Hayley shrugged.
“And that’s why we needed the union,” Amy said. “So we have at least some say in things. But oh well. I think soon, it might be time to start looking for other work.”
“Just as long as you two stay friends,” Denise said. “What you’ve got is too special to simply throw away, you and the other girl, what was her name again?”
“Sophie,” Amy said. “And yes, we’re not planning on going our separate ways any time soon. Well, the two of us aren’t, anyway…”
The three women spent the next hour talking about their work, their families and their lives in general, before Denise had to depart to catch her train back home. With the evening rush hour looming, Amy and Hayley also decided to head home, both tired from the day’s activities but happy at the chance to spend time with their families. Amy and Hayley both expected their flat to be empty when they returned home, thinking that their flatmate would’ve taken the opportunity to spend as much time as possible with their parents. However, when they eventually returned home, they were in for a big surprise.
“Hey you two!” Sophie giggled as she skipped over to her friends and greeted them each with a gentle hug. “Good day today?”
“Umm, yeah, not bad thanks,” Amy replied. “You?”
“Meh, it was okay,” Sophie shrugged. “Happy to be home now, heh!”
“How did things go with your parents?” Hayley asked, grimacing as Sophie paused and her smile faded.
“…Okay, I guess,” Sophie shrugged, grimacing herself as she gazed at Amy. “But like I said, I’m happier to be home now.”
“Yep, I can kinda tell,” Amy said. “You started dinner, or shall we get a Deliveroo?”
“Meh, it’s Friday, don’t think any of us can be arsed to cook,” Sophie replied.
“Though it’s not like any of us are flush with cash either,” Hayley reminded her friend.
“I- I’ll pay,” Sophie offered. “I did have my eye on a couple of new swimsuits, but I suppose I can live with just one, heh!”
“If you’re sure?” Hayley asked.
“’Course I am,” Sophie giggled. “Besides, it’s not like I ever actually go to the beach, heh.”
“Well- okay then,” Amy said as a look of concern spread across her face. “Seriously though Sophie, are you okay? You seemed all, you know, stressed yesterday, and now you’re, well-“
“’Me’?” Sophie asked. “Honestly, I’m good. Guess I was just stressed out about my parents, that’s all.”
“Well- if you’re sure that’s all,” Amy said.
“Positive,” Sophie said with a smile, even though inside, she felt guilty about having to lie to her friends.
By the time she’d left her parents’ house, Sophie’s mind had been scrambled. She’d weaved such a web of lies for her parents that she hadn’t known what to believe herself- whether she was really ‘James’, but pretending to be ‘Sophie’ to keep up appearances for her flatmates, or whether she was really ‘Sophie’ and pretending to be ‘James’ for her parents’ sake, or a mixture of the two- and even then, Sophie had no idea what the mixture was. All she knew was that a few minutes after she’d left her parents’ home, it was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She’d rushed home and immediately shaved off not just the stubble on her face, but any and all unsightly body hair, before applying a light layer of make-up and changing into a soft cotton tank top and a new skater skirt she’d bought the previous month. As she looked at her reflection in her mirror, Sophie mused on how little things had changed from the morning or the night before- she saw ‘Sophie’, but she still saw traces of ‘James’ peering through the make-up. The difference, however, was that it didn’t seem wrong to Sophie- on the contrary, as she looked at her reflection, for the first time in a long while, everything seemed right, but that still frustrated Sophie.
She knew that the conflict with her parents was the source of her stress. She knew that anxiety about the meeting was what caused her inner conflict, and putting the meeting behind her was what caused the stress to seemingly instantly disappear. She was bigendered, both male and female, and she’d long since come to terms with that, as had her friends. Sophie just wished it could’ve been just as easy with her family- and that she could’ve explained things to them without inadvertently making life even more awkward for herself…
“Do you know when you’re going to go and see your parents next?” Amy asked Sophie as the three women sat down to eat their meal.
“Dunno yet,” Sophie replied. “Do you guys know yet when you’ll next see your families?”
“Not yet,” Hayley replied. “If by ‘family’ you mean ‘father’, anyway.”
“Ah- yeah, sorry…” Sophie grimaced.
“Meh, it’s not like you two have it so much easier than I do,” Hayley shrugged.
“True, but we do all have each other,” Amy said with a grin as Sophie started to fidget. “I’m guessing you’re no closer to sorting things out with your parents though, am I right, Soph?”
“Well- yes and no,” Sophie mumbled in reply.
“Meh, well, next time you see them, if you want help finally sorting things out with them, our offer’s always on the table, right?” Amy asked, making Sophie smile as Hayley nodded in agreement.
“Thanks,” Sophie said. “Though, umm, about that…”
“…Yes?” Amy asked.
“I, umm, well, my- my father kinda- kinda jumped to a conclusion today,” Sophie said.
“Right…?” Amy asked as Hayley started to snigger.
“He- he assumed that the only reason I’m, well, staying as Sophie is- is because I- I said I had a girlfriend,” Sophie said, her cheeks reddening as Hayley burst into fits of laughter and a deep frown spread across Amy’s face.
“…You said I was your girlfriend, didn’t you?” Amy asked in a clipped voice, her frown deepening as Sophie nodded.
“I- I’m sorry, okay?” Sophie sighed. “I- I just kinda panicked, and-“
“Thanks,” Amy sighed as Hayley’s laughter intensified.
“Oh, come on,” Hayley said. “It’s perfect, right? Now you two actually have an excuse, right? Amy and Sophie sitting in a tree, F-U-C-“
“K-Y-O-U,” Amy interrupted. “…Okay, fine, I can go along with it just once, as long as you do set them straight next time you see them, okay?”
“I kinda- kinda also said that you were post-op,” Sophie mumbled, her cheeks reddening as Hayley roared with laughter again.
“Oh great,” Amy sighed. “So in addition to fawning over you, I’m going to have to cross my legs the whole time as well?”
“Sorry…” Sophie mumbled.
“No-ugh, no, it’s okay…” Amy sighed. “Coming out is the hardest thing to do, and just ‘cause your circumstances are- well, not the same as either of us two, it doesn’t mean you’ll have it any easier. But you do know that the more you lie to your parents, the harder you’ll make everything, right?”
“Yes, yes I know,” Sophie moaned.
“And it’s kinda odd, you know?” Hayley mused. “And- and I really don’t mean this in a bad way, but- but you’re so proactive when it comes to things like the book, or the union, but you’re so- well, you really struggle when it comes to your personal life, you know?”
“It’s always hardest when something affects you personally,” Amy said.
“Makes me wonder, you know?” Sophie asked. “If I handled things with the airline and the book so easily, was- was I ever truly one of the girls?”
“Yes,” Amy replied without hesitation.
“Absolutely,” Hayley said, smiling as a solitary tear formed in the corner of Sophie’s eye.
“Thanks, you guys,” Sophie whispered.
“We are Team ASH,” Amy said confidently. “And that’ll never change. No matter how many times you tell your parents that we’re having it off.”
“Well- thanks,” Sophie chuckled.
“Speaking of ‘the girls’,” Hayley said, “it’s just gone 6 o’clock, want to put on the news to see if we’re on it again?”
“Sure,” Amy shrugged, switching on the television and relaxing back onto the sofa with her two flatmates.
About fifteen minutes later, though, the three women received a shock when one of their colleagues appeared on screen- the last person the trio expected to appear.
“My name is Rachel Lyscombe,” the young blonde woman said in a shaky voice. “And I worked for Soixante-Trois Airlines up until I- I was attacked by a passenger during a flight.”
“Thank you for agreeing to sit down with us,” the interviewer, who was also a young woman, said softly. “I understand this cannot be an easy thing to talk about.”
“No,” Rachel whispered. “But now is the time to talk about it.”
“Wow,” Amy whispered as she remained transfixed by the television. “I would NEVER be that brave.”
“Can you tell us about the company’s reaction during the following few days?” The interviewer asked.
“They just wanted to sweep it under the carpet,” Rachel replied. “I get that I’m not allowed to name my attacker for legal reasons, but he was a big client of the airline’s, and they seemed more upset at his arrest than they did my attack.”
“And I understand you were subject to disciplinary action yourself in the days following the attack, is that correct?” The interviewer asked.
“That’s right,” Rachel replied. “While I was off work, recovering from the- the attack, they called me in to serve me with a written warning for violating the airline’s dress code.”
“Kaboom,” Sophie said, earning confused frowns from her flatmates as the interview continued.
“Why have you chosen to break your silence now?” The interviewer asked.
“Because I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what I went through,” Rachel replied, her voice quivering with emotion. “The strike isn’t about money. It’s about keeping the airline’s employees safe, which is something they seem to have no interest in.”
“We contacted Soixante-Trois Airlines, but they have so far declined to comment on the interview,” the news anchor said before moving onto the next article, leaving the three flatmates in stunned silence.
“…’Kaboom’?” Amy asked. “Really?”
“That interview will end the strike in our favour,” Sophie said confidently. “Trust me on that.”
“I’ll ask how in a bit,” Amy said, “but given we work for an airline, ‘kaboom’ really isn’t a sound we want to hear!”
“Ah- fair enough,” Sophie chuckled. “…And to answer your next question, it’s a question of demographics.”
“Okay then…” Hayley said uncertainly.
“It’s a simple and sad fact,” Sophie explained, “that people care more about what happens to others when it happens to people who look like them. A lot of people who’ve opposed the strike see the airline as ‘the transgender airline’, and since they’re not transgender, they simply don’t care. Seeing a blonde, blue eyed, young middle-class cisgender woman as a victim? THAT will play on people’s emotions, guaranteed. It’s one of the first things you learn about journalism- how to manipulate people’s emotions.”
“…Why do I feel that the whole ‘trans pride movement’ has just been set back, like, fifty years?” Amy asked with a sad frown.
“Probably because we weren’t that far ‘forward’ to begin with,” Hayley sighed. “But you’ve got to admit, Sophie IS right.”
“Oh, I’m not denying that,” Amy said. “I’m not THAT divorced from reality. It’s just- ugh. Some days, you know? It feels like we’re NEVER going to be accepted.”
“Yeah, I know what that feels like,” Sophie sighed sadly, smiling as Amy gave her a gentle hug. “But, you know? At least we’re going to win THIS fight, at least.”
“WE are,” Hayley said with a smile as she joined in the hug. “We- we should call Rachel as well, see how she is… That can’t have been pleasant for her.”
“And just ‘cause she’s cisgender and we’re not, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about her,” Amy said firmly.
“Absolutely,” Sophie said as Hayley took out her phone and dialled their friend’s number, before switching the phone onto speakerphone and placing it on the coffee table.
“Hi Hayley!” The youthful voice of Rachel Lyscombe said, answering the phone after just 2 rings. “I take it you were watching, then?”
“Hi, yeah, we were,” Hayley replied. “I’m here with Amy and Sophie, you’re on speaker, is that okay?”
“Of course it is!” Rachel chuckled. “You know it’s always great to talk to all of you, I have been missing the flat a bit.”
“Do- do you think you’ll be moving back in?” Sophie asked hesitantly.
“I… doubt it,” Rachel replied with a sigh. “Especially as I’m almost certainly going to be out of a job. No way are the airline going to take me back after THAT interview. I doubt I’ll even want to go back.”
“That’s perfectly understandable,” Amy said softly. “Though we will miss you a lot.”
“Really a lot,” Sophie said softly.
“Well, you’ll get your bedroom back at least, right?” Rachel said in a teasing voice that earned a sad chuckle from Sophie.
“Anyway,” Amy said, “we were all thinking how br-“
“Don’t- please don’t say ‘brave’,” Rachel interrupted. “’Cause if you think of me as ‘brave’ then you’re thinking of me as a victim, and I absolutely, ABSOLUTELY do not want to be a victim. Ever.”
“…Sorry,” Amy mumbled.
“Apology accepted,” Rachel said softly. “What girls like you do, fighting every day to be the ‘real you’? THAT’s brave.”
“Well- I guess…” Sophie mumbled as she remembered her meeting with her parents, and how ‘brave’ was the last thing she felt.
“But really, you girls don’t need to worry about me,” Rachel said. “I’m probably going to see if I can get into uni in September on clearing, I’ve got a pretty good English A-level so, well, yeah. I’ll probably still live at home, though.”
“Sensible,” Amy said.
“Not really,” Rachel retorted. “If I stay in London it’ll make it easier for me to go on nights out with you girls, hehe! Assuming I’m invited, of course?”
“Consider yourself permanently invited,” Sophie said warmly. “You and Lucas.”
“Yeah, we- we’re kinda on a bit of a break right now,” Rachel said with a sad sigh. “After- well, ‘after’, I- I’m kinda detoxing from men for a bit.”
“Sensible again,” Amy said softly. “To change the subject again, though, Sophie, she- she kinda thinks you might have just ended the strike. In our favour, like.”
“I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t part of the plan,” Rachel said softly. “But the real reason I did the interview is that I- I just didn’t want to be silent anymore. I mean, yes, I don’t want to be the ‘face of sexual assault’ either, but I- ugh, I dunno. I just couldn’t carry on the way things were, I just had to do SOMETHING.”
“Well, either way, you’ve got infinite respect from us for it,” Sophie said. “And if you ever need anything, we’re just a phone call away.”
“Thanks,” Rachel said.
“Have you spoken to Ellen or Amelie yet?” Amy asked.
“Not yet,” Rachel replied. “I’ll probably have a voicemail waiting for me when this call ends, heh. Probably have loads waiting for me.”
“We won’t tie up your line any longer, then,” Hayley said. “Take care of yourself, Rach. Remember, we’re here whenever you need us.”
“24/7,” Sophie confirmed.
“Thanks,” Rachel whispered. “I’ll talk to you all later. Stay strong.”
“You too,” Hayley said as she ended the call, before all three women relaxed back onto the sofa. “…Okay then, I think we’d better leave our phones switched on, we might get a phone call tomorrow morning, heh!”
“Or even tonight,” Sophie mused as she prayed that Rachel’s example would finally end the stalemate caused by the strike.
The three women went to bed later that evening having not received any phone calls, but the following morning at just after 7am, Sophie was woken from her sleep by her phone ringing, and when she saw the caller ID, a wide smile spread across her face.
“Hello?” Sophie asked as she answered the phone, trying her hardest not to sound weak or tired.
“Hi Sophie, it’s Gemma from work,” the woman on the other end of the line replied. “Would you be able to come in for a meeting at 9am today?”
“I can be there,” Sophie replied, her smile widening as the call ended and she got out of bed, quietly padding through to the shower in case her flatmates hadn’t received the same invitation.
45 minutes later, Sophie was showered, dressed and ready for the morning ahead of her. Anticipating what the meeting might entail, Sophie had dressed professionally in a smart knee-length black pencil skirt- but not a tight one. She wore shoes with a heel, but a 3” thick heel rather than a 4” stiletto. She wore a smart, pressed white blouse, modest make-up and minimal jewellery, and underneath her clothing she wore a plain black bra and briefs set- her bra enhancing what she didn't have and her briefs tucking away what she did have without any of the usual discomfort caused by the usual underwear mandated by the airline. And she felt just as feminine, just as beautiful and just as confident as she did when wearing her uniform- more so, in fact. When Sophie gazed in her mirror on her way out of her bedroom, she didn’t see a conflicted young woman, or even worse, a conflicted young man- she saw herself. Sophie AND James, but mostly Sophie- the same woman who her friends and colleagues trusted and loved, and who, deep in her heart, truly was one of the girls. Sophie just wished she could be as confident all of the time…
“Hey Sophie!” Ellen said in her distinctive Manchester accent as Sophie approached her outside the airline’s staff entrance. “You got the call too, then?”
“Yep,” Sophie replied. “Hopefully NOW they’ll be in a mood to talk.”
“Fingers crossed,” Ellen whispered.
“Did- did Amelie see the interview, then?” Sophie asked.
“Yep,” Ellen replied, making Sophie fidget as she carefully thought about how to word her next question.
“And is- is she hoping the strike will end too?” Sophie asked, biting her lip as Ellen frowned.
“…She hopes her father will start treating us a little better,” Ellen replied. “’Cause she doesn’t work for the airline herself anymore, she isn’t as- well, as dependent on things, even if her dad is paying for our flat and- well, yeah…”
“Yeah, I’d rather not get in the middle of a family argument,” Sophie sighed.
“Not much choice when I AM family, heh,” Ellen replied. “Now come on, let’s see what Alana has to say, whether she’s finally going to see sense or if she’s going to TREBLE down on things.”
“Oh- for god’s sake, still?” Sophie moaned as her friend and colleague grinned wickedly.
“Oh, come on, it’s been a great year for English football,” Ellen retorted. “City win the domestic TREBLE, Liverpool and Spurs reach the Champions League final, Arsenal and Chelsea reach the Europa League final, and United get to remember how they used to be a good team twenty years ago.”
“Yes, yes, okay…” Sophie moaned, though secretly, she was glad for the distraction- every step that took her closer to her manager’s office made her legs tremble more and more…
Sophie’s nerves didn’t get any better when she entered her manager’s office to discover that Alana was not there- in her place was another young woman in her mid-thirties, and alongside her was a very familiar middle-aged man with a stern expression on his face.
“G- good morning,” Sophie said nervously. “Bonjour, Monsieur Masson.”
“Bonjour,” M. Masson replied in a stoic voice. “Bonjour, Ellen.”
“Bonjour, beau-père,” Ellen said, trying not to grin as the older man fidgeted.
“Thank you both for coming in at short notice,” the young woman sat in Alana’s seat said in a light French accent. “My name is Yvette Ferrand, and I work in conflict resolution and negotiations for Soixante-Trois Industries. Monsieur Masson has asked me to speak on behalf of himself and the company to resolve the situation and return you and your union to work as soon as possible.”
“Are you willing to listen to our demands?” Ellen asked, trying not to flinch under the stare of her billionaire future father-in-law.
“We are, and we believe we have reached a compromise,” Yvette replied. “First, your demands about the dress code. As I am sure you are aware, the dress code was designed to convey a professional image and evoke memories of air travel in the 1960s, when Soixante-Trois Industries was founded. However, we accept that the practicality of the uniform can be bad. As such, we shall be permitting lower heels on flights, but no lower than 5 centimetres. There shall also be no restrictions on underwear, beyond that hosiery must be worn on flights at all times. Whether that is stockings or pantyhose is for the individual choice of the flight attendant. We shall also be re-fitting all uniforms over the next few months so as to allow freer movement.”
“…This is acceptable,” Ellen said. “About the commuting attire-“
“With the commuting attire,” Yvette interrupted, “you will be expected to look smart on the way into work, as you shall be representing the airline. However, the relaxing of the uniform dress code shall apply to the commuting attire. The only way we would be willing to remove the commuting attire dress code would be to also remove the clothing allowance from your wages.”
“I think I can sell this to the union,” Ellen said. “Have you read our demands about security on aircraft?” Or in other words, Sophie thought to herself, did you see Rachel’s interview last night?
“We have,” Yvette replied. “Additional CCTV will be installed on all of our aircraft over the following few months. All complaints of unacceptable passenger behaviour shall be taken seriously, and those found to be repeat or serious offenders shall receive permanent bans from our aircraft, regardless of how much income they bring. You must understand that these changes cannot come overnight. It takes time to install CCTV, and it takes time to alter uniforms. But we are committed to ensuring that Soixante-Trois Airlines is a positive place to work for all of our employees. ALL of them.” Bollocks, Sophie thought to herself. You just don’t want any more negative publicity after the interview. However, Sophie was forced to concede that regardless of how or why it was achieved, it was still a win nonetheless.
“I believe I can sell all of these improvements to the union,” Ellen said. “We shall vote tonight, and if the vote is passed, we can be back at work as early as tomorrow.”
“This is good news,” Yvette said with a smile. “I believe this addresses all of your concerns. I shall let you speak to your friends. If you have your phones with you I shall give you my contact number. I shall be contactable all day, please call me when you have made a decision.”
“We will,” Ellen said softly as she and Sophie rose from their chairs. However, there was one further thing that was troubling Sophie.
“Where-“ Sophie asked hesitantly. “Umm, if you don’t mind me asking, where- where is Alana? I know she doesn’t normally work weekends, but-“
“She is no longer employed by Soixante-Trois Industries,” M. Masson replied bluntly, making Sophie start to tremble.
“I- I’m sorry?” Sophie asked softly.
“She has had her employment terminated,” M. Masson said. “For her failure to manage the situation.” Bullshit, Sophie thought to herself. You needed a scapegoat. Sophie’s insides started to churn as she realised that her actions had just cost a woman her livelihood.
“I- I see,” Sophie whispered.
“A replacement will be in place by the end of the week,” M. Masson clarified. “Now you may leave.” Sophie bit her lip as she and Ellen silently left the office, before letting out a long, pained sigh once they were out of earshot of the office.
“What’s the problem?” Ellen asked. “That was a major win!”
“Yeah, but we just cost Alana her job,” Sophie sighed.
“So?” Ellen shrugged, anger slowly seeping into her voice. “She were a crap manager, Soph. Had her nose stuck so far up Masson’s arse she couldn’t see or didn’t care what was happening to the rest of us! Not that the next one’ll be any better, but at least now that we’re a proper union, she’ll take us seriously, you know?”
“Well, yeah, but still…” Sophie moaned.
“Can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs,” Ellen said bluntly. “And rather Alana than Rachel again, right?”
“Well- yeah…” Sophie said. “And, well, maybe the new manager will actually give me some shifts, heh.”
“That’s more like it!” Ellen giggled as she and Sophie left the airport, though deep down inside, Sophie felt more uncomfortable than ever. As she travelled home, though, Sophie realised that her discomfort stemmed not from costing her manager her job, but costing a fellow woman her job. All of a sudden, despite her stress, ‘James’ felt further away than ever… And yet Sophie knew that all it would take was the mere mention of her parents for all that to change.
That night, the union voted to accept the airline’s compromise, and the vast majority of the airline’s flight attendants, including Amy and Hayley, returned to work the following day, with Sophie’s first shift back being the following Tuesday. Sophie couldn’t help but smile as she pushed her trolley up and down the plane’s cabin, her feet no longer aching in her more sensible shoes, her waist unconstrained and her legs encased in a pair of black tights that still felt comfortable despite the heat- and Sophie still felt beautiful and effortlessly feminine despite the comparatively relaxed dress code.
The following Friday, the new manager of the airline’s London hub was announced, and virtually every stewardess employed by the airline breathed a sigh of relief when the manager was revealed to be none other than Marie Renou, who many of the stewardesses had met at the wedding of Natalie and Zoe- Marie's younger sister. The airline's employees were almost unanimously confident that Marie would be more concerned with their wellbeing then her predecessor was, and were eager to work with someone some of them even considered to be a friend.
However, while Sophie was confident that Marie would at least be a more understanding manager than Alana, she was also nervous about what the future would bring. After all, she was still writing her second book, which would undoubtedly bring her into conflict with the airline’s management, Marie included- even though she contributed to Sophie’s first book. And while things had improved at the airline, Sophie was no closer to resolving the issues with her parents- just as Amy was no closer to resolving the issues with her daughter, and Rachel's employment with the airline had ended for good.
However, one of the women living in the flat received a glimmer of hope when she returned home from her flight to Berlin and switched her phone back on to find a voicemail waiting for her.
“Hi Harry,” the voice of Hayley’s older sister Lucy said. “I saw you on the news the other week and just wanted to say hi and see how you were. Call me when you get this if you want to chat.” Hayley smiled as she listened to the voicemail over and over. It wasn’t perfect- Lucy had used Hayley’s deadname, after all- but it was a step in the right direction, and proof to Hayley that maybe, just maybe, things were going to get better after all. Hayley just hoped that her friends could feel the same sense of optimism that she did…
“She couldn’t have chosen a more convenient month for this?” Sophie sighed as she, Amy and Hayley tried to manoeuvre the cumbersome single bed into her bedroom. “I always thought that August was, like, the busiest month for foreign travel.”
“Oh, stop whining,” Amy chastised her flatmate. “You were the one who suggested this, remember?”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Sophie said, stretching her tired muscles as the bed was lowered and slid into place, before straightening her short denim skirt and sitting down on the edge of the bed. “And yes, I know that August is one of the months when new hires are taken in.”
“And, most importantly, it’s also the first hiring round since she turned nineteen,” Hayley informed her friend. “The airline may have relaxed a lot of rules since the strike, but that isn’t one of them.” Sophie smiled and nodded as she mused on how her life had changed over the previous three months.
For most of the cabin crew of Soixante-Trois Airlines, life had quickly returned to normal, albeit in much more comfortable, but no less feminine uniforms. The example that had been made of the man who had assaulted Rachel had resulted in 'incidents' between passengers and crew quickly becoming a thing of the past, even on the previously dreaded London to Paris route. The number of times the flight attendants faced questions about their birth gender had also dramatically fallen, and job satisfaction levels had sharply risen. The relationship between management and crew had also improved dramatically, thanks in no small part to Marie’s appointment as the new hub manager. However, there were employees who chose not to return following the end of the strike, and Sophie found herself missing Rachel Lyscombe more and more as the summer went on.
Of course, Antoine Masson took full credit for resolving the strike, earning him praise from both the general public and his peers, but the cabin crew were able to quickly look past this- they were just happy to be back at work and to have better working conditions, and Sophie counted herself among this number. To her, the only difference between stockings and tights, or stiletto heels and block heels, or even a 26” waist or a 30” waist was that the latter was more comfortable. Sophie felt just as feminine in the new uniform as she had in the old one, feelings that were shared by her flatmates in their discussions of the new working conditions. Even though her expose had long since been published and the work on her second book could be done in any work environment, Sophie found herself unable to take the steps necessary to end her employment with the airline. Amy and Hayley were the two best friends that she had ever had, and she counted many of her other colleagues among her closest friends as well. They unquestioningly accepted Sophie for who she was, whether that was male, female, both or neither. They helped her with any problem she had and enabled her to live the life that she could never see herself leaving behind. For better or worse- and Sophie saw it very much as the former- ‘Sophie’ was now as much a part of her life, even more so than ‘James’ had ever been. However, there was still one major obstacle standing between Sophie and the freedom she yearned for- her parents. As far as they were concerned, ‘James’ was only living as a woman for a job. As far as they were concerned, ‘James’ hated wearing skirts, heels and make-up. As far as they were concerned, ‘Sophie’ would soon be a thing of the past- and Sophie had no idea how she was going to shatter this illusion. All she knew was that if she didn’t do it soon, her anxiety levels would quickly become intolerable.
Sophie's 25th birthday the previous month had been a prime example of the dilemma she faced. On the 18th, the day of her birthday, 'James' had spent the day with 'his' parents, opening presents that were unquestionably masculine in nature and facing questions about 'his' life- not Sophie's life, but his. The following day, however, Amy and Hayley had treated 'Sophie' to a girly day the likes of which she had never experienced before. She was taken to an expansive salon, where her hair and nails were expertly treated and shaped into their most feminine look yet (a far cry from the 'lazily swept back' look that 'James' had worn on his birthday), before going on a shopping spree on Regent Street, buying new skirts, dresses, shoes, make-up, and even lingerie and swimwear. The day after that had been Saturday, and Sophie got the opportunity to show off one of her new dresses and bikinis when she, Amy and Hayley had wangled invitations to one of Charlotte Hartley's legendary Saturday night parties, where she'd spent the night drinking, dancing and relaxing in a hot tub, surrounded by women who unquestionably accepted her for who she was. If Sophie ever lost the life that she'd grown to love, she genuinely didn't know what she'd do. However, if she fell out of contact with her parents, she would feel even worse.
However, as Sophie mused to herself, that was something that could not be said for another of her friends, one to whom she was almost as close as Amy or Hayley and into whose family drama she had been unwittingly drawn. Despite the fact that she had left the airline some months beforehand, Amelie had been as passionate about the strike as any of the other cabin crew. However, when the strike ended, she became if anything even more resentful of her father than before. While Sophie held no particular love for Antoine Masson, she was deeply disturbed by the level of anger his second-youngest daughter showed him, especially while continuing to enjoy the life of luxury paid for by his vast fortune. Amelie and Ellen still lived in the opulent London flat that he owned, Amelie’s university studies were bankrolled by him and they were even discussing how he would pay for their wedding. While none of this personally affected Sophie, she still found herself drawn into the drama out of a desire to not offend her friends, which left her in the situation she’d somehow found herself in of gaining a new roommate.
“That’ll be them!” Hayley giggled excitedly as the doorbell rang. “We’ll finish off the mattress later.”
“Yep!” Sophie said with a forced giggle as she and her two best friends headed to the front door, which they opened to be greeted by the smiling faces of Ellen Briggs and Amelie Masson… And the nervous face of Amelie’s younger sister.
“Ah, bonsoir, mademoiselles!” Amy said, earning an eye roll from the older French woman as the three newcomers entered the flat and made themselves comfortable on the sofa.
“We are in London and Francine needs to practise her English!” Amelie chastised the ginger-haired woman, before giggling. “But thank you. Or merci, or however you please!”
“Really, it’s our pleasure,” Hayley said. “Though I am surprised that you’re moving in here, Francine- wouldn’t you have preferred to live with your sister?”
“Umm…” Francine said, a nervous grin instantly spreading across her face as she carefully considered her words in a language with which she was not yet fully familiar. “I would not want to be there when they are, well…”
“Say no more,” Amy giggled as she headed into the kitchen, returning seconds later with a bottle of wine and six glasses.
“PLEASE say no more,” Sophie said, smirking as Francine giggled while her sister and her fiancée scowled and rolled their eyes.
“But I would want to be in London and not Paris as I would want to be close to Amelie,” Francine continued. “I mean, I have other sisters and my mama and papa in Paris, but it is Amelie to who I am most close. And I want to live, umm, free, if you know?”
“You want to live independently?” Sophie asked, smiling as the French teenager nodded. “I get that, heh. I don’t think there’s a single person in this room who doesn’t get that, in fact. The need to be your own person…”
“Definitely,” Hayley whispered. “Even if for some of us, it wasn’t exactly by choice.” The brown-haired woman bit her lip as the room was filled with an awkward silence.
“…Though that is not only for us who are ‘T’, but also ‘L’,” Amelie said softly as she gripped her fiancée’s hand. “Though Francine is not- is actually the only one of us who is not any of LGBT.”
“Oh god, you’re not going to be bringing boys home, are you?” Amy said in a teasing tone. “It’s bad enough when Hayley does that!”
“Oh- shut up…” Hayley snorted. “Besides which, you’ll be sharing a room with Sophie, so she’s the one you’ll need to clear it with.”
“…Just as long as you warn me ahead of time,” Sophie chuckled.
“I can do that,” Francine said with a grin. “Though I hope I will not take too much time to find a footballer from one of these Premier League teams in London!”
“Though as I’ve told you a million times,” Ellen sighed, “the REAL footballers all play in Manchester.”
“In red,” Sophie said with a smug grin as Ellen rolled her eyes.
“And how many trophies did United win this year?” Ellen asked. “Was it three more or three less than City?”
“Filles! Enough talk of football!” Amelie said with a dramatic sigh. “Especially from you, Francine!” The four English women in the flat all giggled while Amelie failed to notice her sister sticking her tongue out at her. “We have everything for Francine here in these bags, we can stay and help her to unload if you’d like?”
“If you want,” Amy replied with a shrug. “Though you don’t seem to have much stuff, Francine?”
“A lot more of it is in Paris,” Francine replied. “I only shall stay for my year with the airline, then go to university in Paris.”
“Well, while you’re here, our home is your home,” Amy said with a warm grin. “Bring in anything you want, just as long as it’s not too big. And make sure you let Sophie know if it’s going to be a boy, hehe!”
“Sophie will let you know if she’s going to bring Amy into the room,” Ellen teased, earning angry glares from both Amy and Sophie and a confused look from Francine.
“Oh, are- are you two a couple?” Francine asked.
“No, we most certainly are not, as Ellen damn well knows!” Amy replied as she hurled a cushion at the Manchester native’s head.
“DEFINITELY not,” Sophie said firmly.
“Methinks the ladies doth protest too much!” Ellen teased, before squealing with laughter as Amy and Sophie both brandished cushions at her.
“She’s taking the piss, Francine,” Sophie reassured her new roommate. “Better get used to that if you’re going to be her sister-in-law, heh!”
“I know about her jokes, yes,” Francine giggled. “A part of why I do not live there, hehe!”
“Charming!” Ellen snorted, before letting out a giggle of her own. “But not unfair, I guess. Though our spare room is there for you whenever you need it, if Sophie and Amy become too loud during the night!”
“Bite me,” Sophie snorted.
“Are you talking to me or Amy?” Ellen asked, giggling even louder as Sophie rolled her eyes. “Ahh… But seriously, Francine, get used to this, heh. There’s a lot of teasing, but it’s all meant to be fun.”
“You are nineteen and living away from papa for the first time,” Amelie advised her sister. “Enjoy the feeling! There shall be many parties.”
“Many parties is something I would very like!” Francine giggled excitedly. “But maybe first I should, umm, to say…”
“Settle in?” Sophie asked, smiling as the brown-haired girl nodded. “That’s okay. Probably for the best as it’s your first day tomorrow, heh!”
“Do you know who your mentor’s going to be, yet?” Amy asked.
“A girl called Alicia, I think,” Francine replied, frowning as Amy, Sophie and Ellen all rolled their eyes. “Is this a problem?”
“Alicia, she- she’s a bit of a…” Sophie replied hesitantly. “What’s the French word for brown-noser? Sycophant?”
“Flagorneuse,” Amelie explained, making her sister frown and nod.
“I know these people,” Francine said. “All times in school, other children would try to be friends with me and Amelie because they thought it would help with our papa.”
“They did not know our papa does not listen to us,” Amelie scoffed.
“My sister is correct,” Francine sighed. “I love my papa very much, but to him me and Amelie are but little children, not like Henri, Veronique or Antoine. He was not happy when I said I was going to London for my year of work.”
“His condition for him paying all your uni fees?” Hayley asked, smiling as Francine nodded. “I get it, heh. Though I think you’re being a bit too hard on Alicia. Okay, she didn’t join the strike, or even the union, but she’s a pretty nice girl when you get to know her.”
“But a flagorneuse anyway,” Amelie said. “I am sure she will expect to become your friend and then become our father’s friend.”
“But you don’t need to worry about that,” Amy reassured her new flatmate. “Tonight, we’ll get you settled in, we’ll get a takeaway dinner, have a few bottles of wine and then we can get to know each other a little better. How does that sound to you, Francine?”
“It sounds perfect,” Francine replied with a wide, genuine smile, relaxing into her chair as Amy took out her phone and began ordering their dinner.
The six women spent the rest of the evening eating, drinking and chatting, listening to the sisters’ stories of their opulent upbringing. However, despite Amelie and Francine's openness about their family life, none of the three original residents of the flat felt even remotely like talking about their families- particularly Sophie, who felt her whole body tense up whenever she was asked any question, no matter how innocuous. As Sophie went to bed, she felt a little uneasy at first about having to share a room for the first time in weeks, but she was quickly able to relax. Sophie reasoned that having a new flatmate was at least something to distract her from the rest of her life- especially one as genuinely friendly as Francine. And besides, as she'd been told on countless occasions, you can never have too many friends.
Sophie was awoken the following morning by the alarm on her phone, and for a brief second, she was momentarily shocked by the changed layout and the gentle snoring of the other occupant of the room, before remembering the events of the previous evening. Sophie smirked as she pushed back her covers, before tiptoeing over to the slumbering teenager and gently rocking her shoulder.
“Francine…” Sophie cooed, trying not to giggle as the teenager slowly stirred. “Francine, wake up, it’s time for work…”
“Va-t'en, je suis fatigué,” Francine replied, tiredly batting Sophie’s arm away.
“Non, il est temps de se lever maintenant!” Sophie replied, smirking as Francine slowly opened her eyes. “Do you regret your decision to live and work here yet?”
“I shall tell you in the afternoon,” Francine replied, before letting out a long sigh, that Sophie could immediately tell wasn’t entirely the result of tiredness.
“What’s up?” Sophie asked, biting her lip nervously as the other girl frowned.
“It is nothing,” Francine replied. “I just- I have never lived outside of my home before. I mean, yes, I have stayed in hotels, or at my father’s homes in Hollywood, or Miami or Monte Carlo, but I did always have my room in Paris to go home to.”
“Well, you still do have that room, don’t you?” Sophie asked. “To go back to when your time with the airline is over. You could always think of this as a very long hotel stay.”
“Maybe,” Francine said with a shrug. “But I do miss my family.”
“I get that,” Sophie mused. “I suppose as you’re the youngest of your brothers and sisters… Heh. We will do everything to make you feel at home here, though. And everybody has to live away from family sooner or later.”
“Maybe,” Francine shrugged. “At least I am near Amelie, some family. And she is why I came to London anyway.”
“True,” Sophie said. “And think of this, too- Amelie still lives in a flat owned by your father, but you don’t, so technically you became independent before she did!”
“Even with our father is paying my, umm…” Francine began, trailing off and blushing as she tried to recall the word.
“Rent?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as Francine nodded.
“Oui, rent,” Francine nodded. “But he does pay it through wages.”
“…Well then, technically, he does for me as well,” Sophie said, earning a giggle from the younger woman. “Come on, we’d better get a move on before Amy and Hayley use all the hot water, heh. I suppose you didn’t have to queue for the bathroom at your home in Paris?”
“I had two of my own bathrooms, so no,” Francine replied with another giggle as the two left the bedroom, entering the flat’s living area to find the other two women already awake and showered.
“Ah, good morning!” Amy chuckled as she provided the two women with a mug of coffee each. “I would say ‘bonjour’ but your sister’s banned us from speaking French while you’re living with us, hehe!”
“Mer- thank you,” Francine said softly as she sipped her drink. “And thank you for buying real French coffee!”
“We may have made a special trip to the shops when we learned you were moving in,” Amy said with a wink.
“Not that we don’t all love real French coffee ourselves, hehe!” Hayley chuckled. “Are you looking forward to your first day, Francine?”
“A bit,” the French woman replied. “I know what to expect from Amelie, and your help last night.”
“More importantly, did you sleep well?” Amy asked, earning an eye roll from Sophie.
“Give the poor girl some space, for god’s sake!” Sophie chastised her friends, though even that gesture earned an eye roll from her new roommate.
“I am not a child, I can answer a question!” Francine snorted, before smiling. “And I did sleep well, thank you. If it was my first time in a new bed, and sleeping with another woman in the room, though.”
“Yeah,” Hayley mumbled, fidgeting awkwardly and earning frowns from both Sophie and Francine.
“Did I say something I should not?” Francine asked.
“No, Hayley just wants to ask something she shouldn’t,” Amy said, making Hayley roll her eyes and snort angrily.
“Please ask, I shall not take offence,” Francine said, trying not to fidget herself as Hayley took a deep breath.
“Does- does your father know you’re living with three transgender women?” Hayley asked with a heavy sigh. “I mean, what does he think about, you know, his little girl living with three- well, three people whom many consider to not be ‘real’ women?” Francine fidgeted as she considered her answer to the question, and much to her own surprise, so did Sophie.
‘Real’ women. It was a phrase Sophie had heard often, usually from passengers and usually preceded by the words ‘are you actually’. It was a phrase that Sophie had previously thought nothing of- she was simply doing a job, undercover and only projecting the image of a woman. Even as she sashayed up and down the plane in her tight skirt and high heels, or partied with her friends in expensive cocktail dresses, or even spent Sunday mornings wearing a leotard and a pair of tights at her dance class, Sophie had always been of the mindset that her femininity was simply skin-deep- but all that had gradually changed over the months, and when Hayley asked her question, it truly made Sophie think. To Sophie, being a woman wasn’t about what clothes or make-up you wore, it was about something more- the way you acted, the way you thought, and most importantly of all, the way you felt. And the more that Sophie thought about it, the more she realised that she felt like a ‘real’ woman in every way that mattered. She'd written over thirty thousand words about her feelings of what it was like to be a woman, but she'd never really contemplated Hayley's question before. Which made her suddenly very interested in Francine’s answer to it…
“…It is not something that bothers him, to be true,” Francine replied. “At first, he was upset that the EU said he had to hire employees of all gender identity, but that was because he wanted to fly to Muslim countries. But then he was able to open grey route anyway, and the airline makes profit, so he- he is happy.”
“Then whose idea were the uniforms from hell?” Amy asked.
“Probably one of the board members,” Francine replied with a shrug. “I will not claim that everyone who works for the company will support your rights. But I know my father does.”
“Even though one of his daughters is marrying another woman?” Sophie asked, biting her lip as the French girl frowned.
“Amelie, she- ugh,” Francine sighed. “She is my sister, my favourite sister and I adore her. But she- ugh. It is too early, can we please just eat breakfast?”
“That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard anyone say so far today,” Hayley giggled as she headed to the kitchen to prepare Sophie and Francine's morning meals. “Though I do have one other question, if you don’t mind…?”
“Please, ask,” Francine said hesitantly.
“How glad is your dad that you won’t be wearing the uniforms from hell?” Hayley asked, smiling as the four women of the flat shared a genuine giggle.
A short while later, the four women arrived at Heathrow airport where they quickly made their way to the locker room to change into their pristine blue uniforms. As Sophie zipped up her knee-length pencil skirt and slipped her nylon-covered toes into her high-heeled shoes, she continued to muse on what Hayley had said that morning. ‘Real’ women. In all the months that Sophie had worked for Soixante-Trois Airlines and had changed in the women's locker room, it had never occurred to her to think of any of the other flight attendants as anything other than ‘real’ women, regardless of their DNA. While she hadn’t had the most liberal of upbringings, she’d been taught from a very early age to accept people for who they were, and it had taken very little time in the company of Amy and Hayley to convince Sophie that they were as ‘real’ as any other woman, regardless of their chromosomes. The book Sophie was compiling was full of many such testimonials, all from women that Sophie considered to be ‘real’, whose stories Sophie hoped would open people's minds. However, Sophie knew that two of the people who would read the book would be her parents- and while they would likely have no issue seeing Amy or Hayley as ‘real’ women, Sophie wondered whether or not that acceptance would extend to their own son…
“Where you off to today, then?” Ellen asked Sophie, bringing her mind back to the present.
“Oh, umm, Amsterdam,” Sophie replied. “Haven’t been on a red route flight in weeks, heh.”
“Well, you can just enjoy the tulips and Heineken while I’m sweating it out down in Faro, then,” Ellen said as she gestured to her smart red uniform. “Heh, I’m just kidding, really. It’s the slackers who are sitting in a classroom all day we should really be teasing, heh! You didn’t fancy babysitting any of the newbies, then?”
“Oh, I put my name down,” Sophie replied. “Didn’t hear anything back. Didn’t expect to, either, even with the new face at the top.”
“Hey, that’s technically my family you’re talking about!” Ellen said with mock offence. “Sort-of, anyway. Is your sister-in-law’s sister family?”
“Well, technically, sort-of,” Sophie replied with a giggle. “Ah, I don’t mind, though. I mean, it’s not like I’m ever going to get promoted here, heh.”
“Even if Marie is a lot more reasonable than Alana ever was?” Ellen asked, smiling as Sophie nodded.
“I still feel a little guilty about what happened to Alana,” Sophie sighed.
“Well, you shouldn’t,” Ellen said with a shrug. “Her nose was so far up Masson’s arse, and she completely mismanaged the strike and the, well, ‘situation’ with poor Rachel. And- well, she didn’t- ugh, I shouldn’t really be saying this…”
“Saying what?” Sophie asked.
“Didn’t really have experience with, well, ‘girls like you’,” Ellen mumbled. “Marie at least used to live with Jessica and Nat. In Paris, I mean.”
“Alana never- never really gave me any trouble on that front,” Sophie said. “But meh, I guess there’s no point in dwelling on the past. You working tomorrow and Friday, too?”
“Yep,” Ellen replied. “Portugal all week, heh. You?”
“Last flight until Sunday,” Sophie replied with a smug grin that made the Mancunian woman roll her eyes.
“Got any plans for the rest of the week then?” Ellen asked. “Take advantage of summer while the weather’s still good?”
“Umm, not really,” Sophie replied. “I mean, Francine wants to go to Rachel’s tonight, so we’ll probably do that.”
“Cool, I’ll be there,” Ellen said with a grin. “Going to see your parents on your days off?”
“…Haven’t decided yet,” Sophie mumbled. “Might call them… Ugh. I’d- I’d better get to my flight. You take care in Portugal, okay?”
“Sure thing,” Ellen replied, exchanging air kisses with Sophie as they headed to their respective flights.
Even though Ellen had not explicitly said anything, Sophie knew what she was implying, and she was forced to concede that her friend had a point. The upcoming free time Sophie had was a golden opportunity for her to come out to her parents, and more importantly, to put an end to the stress she was feeling about the situation with them. However, the same could have been said about any day that Sophie wasn’t on a flight, and she felt no braver than she had on any of those previous occasions. As far as Sophie was concerned, she had a job to do on the flight, then when she returned to London, she would have a fun evening out with her friends- girlfriends who she was just as female as. Anything else could wait for now. As much as it continued to eat away at her…
As the two brown-haired stewardesses made their way to their flights, two of their blonde-haired colleagues were putting the finishing touches to their uniforms and make-up while reminiscing about the previous summer.
“You know, of course, where we were this time exactly twelve months ago, don’t you?” Abbey asked her American friend, who giggled at the memory.
“I sure do, honey,” Annabelle replied. “I also remember how cold it was in that bridesmaid’s dress!”
“Who’d ever have thought that the side of a lake in the middle of Scotland would be cold and wet?” Abbey joked, smiling sadly as Annabelle giggled again. “I still really miss Jess and Paige, you know? Even if I did only see them last month after AngelCon.”
“Yeah, I miss them too, honey,” Annabelle sighed. “Can you believe we’re two of the longest-serving employees here?”
“What, are you saying we veterans need to stick together?” Abbey asked.
“Absolutely I am!” Annabelle replied with a grin. “Especially now that we don’t have to, you know, get permission from the bosses for the- well, ‘the’ operation.”
“Ah- yeah,” Abbey chuckled bashfully. “You know, as glad as I am to not be wearing a corset on the plane, for me THAT was the biggest win for us from the strike.”
“Amen, honey,” Annabelle said with a nervous chuckle. “I- heh, I’ve actually already booked my, well, you know.”
“Wha- really?” Abbey asked. “When are you booked in for?”
“November,” Annabelle replied. “I figured by then I’ll have been on HRT for three years, and I’ve paid into the NHS for even longer, so I figure that while I’m still living in Britain… Yeah.”
“Wha- you’re not moving back to America as well, are you?” Abbey asked.
“…I haven’t decided yet,” Annabelle sighed. “I certainly ain’t movin’ back to Atlanta, my family have made it clear there ain’t nothin’ for me there, but my sister’s recently graduated from college, and she lives in California now, and- yeah. Plenty of work going there for experienced cabin crew.”
“Thanks for saying ‘experienced’,” Abbey sighed. “You do know I only just turned 24, right?”
"Well, seeing as your party was on Saturday, I did kinda notice!" Annabelle teased her friend, who rolled her eyes in reply.
"What I mean," Abbey said, “is that I’m not ready to say goodbye to another friend. Or be the longest serving one here! There are girls starting today who’s mentors’ mentors I trained…”
“I’m not goin’ anywhere YET, honey,” Annabelle reassured her friend. “And look at it this way- plenty of potential new friends startin’ today!”
“Well, that’s true- heh, and there goes one now!” Abbey giggled, making Francine blush as she walked past in her clean blue uniform. “Looking forward to today, Francine?”
“Everybody has already asked that of me!” The French girl protested, before sighing and giggling. “But yes, I am.”
“Glad to hear it, honey,” Annabelle said with a smile. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced yet, I’m Annabelle Cope, one of the supervisors here, I’ve been with the company since November ’14.”
“Abbey Watkins, also a supervisor, but I started three months after Annabelle,” Abbey said as she and her American friend shared gentle, polite handshakes with the French girl.
“You both know a lot, then?” Francine asked.
“We- we’ve both seen a lot, yeah!” Abbey chuckled. “If you have any questions that aren’t covered in your training or that your mentor doesn’t know the answer to, just ask either of us, we’ll be happy to help.”
“Okay…” Francine replied uncertainly. “You- are you being nice because I am the daughter or the owner?”
“Wha- oh- no, not at all!” Abbey replied in a flustered tone. “…Though I kinda get why you might think that, heh. Your sister had to put up with a lot of, well…”
“Ass kissing?” Francine asked, smiling as the two older women nearly doubled over in laughter.
“I see you’ve learned all the important English words first!” Annabelle teased the young Frenchwoman, who blushed in response. “But what Abbey was trying to say was that we’re here to help you and any of the other newbies today if you need us. But we can also tell you a few stories about your sister too!”
“Now that I would like!” Francine giggled. “Sophie has promised to take me to the pub of Rachel tonight, can you come also?”
“She’s English, honey, she’s not allowed to say no if you invite her to a pub!” Annabelle teased, giggling as Abbey rolled her eyes. “But I’ll be there too.” Before the Englishwoman could retort, though, they were interrupted by the arrival of Francine's mentor- and the disapproving look on her face.
“Francine, we should go,” the quiet voice of Alicia Tate said as she led the French girl away from the two blonde women, only pausing to give them another disapproving scowl before she left with Francine.
“…What’s her problem?” Abbey snorted as she finished fastening the gold buttons on her blue blazer. “If she’s THAT much of a transphobe, she really picked the wrong company to work for!”
“I don’t think it’s THAT,” Annabelle replied. “Hayley Fisher was her mentor, she says she’s a- a bit of an ‘Alana in training’, if you get what I mean, honey?”
“Ah,” Abbey said. “Didn’t approve of the strike, then?”
“I heard she went even beyond ‘disapproval’,” Annabelle replied. “Rumour has it she actively tried to break apart the union. But, like I said, that’s just rumour, so- yeah.”
“I guess,” Abbey shrugged. “I’m surprised Marie would give her the task of mentoring Francine, though.”
“Well, again, rumour has it that came from a lot higher up than Marie,” Annabelle said. “But, like I said, we’re here to fly, not gossip all day, hehe!”
“More’s the pity!” Abbey giggled. “You take care in the air, okay?”
“You too, honey!” Annabelle giggled as she and Abbey headed to their respective flights.
The young women all worked hard throughout the day on their flights to and from London, and when they returned, all were eager to kick back and let off some steam. None were more eager than Sophie, who found herself relaxing despite the noise with which she had surrounded herself in her favourite central London pub.
“Seriously, I am SO glad I’ve got the next two days off,” Hayley said with an overdramatic sigh. “Really glad I didn’t put my name down to be a mentor this time round. No offence intended to any newbies here, hehe!”
“Which means just you,” Amelie teased her younger sister, who rolled her eyes before taking a sip of her wine.
“Everybody was at a time new,” Francine retorted.
“Well, can’t argue with that!” Amy giggled.
“How are you keeping up?” Sophie asked the French teenager. “With the English, I mean, but also the work?”
“It is- both are hard sometimes,” Francine replied. “Tonight, with the noise, I sometimes don’t hear what is said, but I am, as you say, ‘keeping up’.”
“We can go somewhere a bit quieter if you’d prefer, honey?” Annabelle asked the teenager, who simply giggled and shook her head in reply.
“It is I who wanted to come here tonight!” Francine reminded her friend. “I want to see the real of the airline, not just what my father says or what is said to him.”
“Yeah, Amelie’s said that people are afraid to tell him what he doesn’t want to hear,” Amy said.
“It sometimes happens,” Francine shrugged. “But he will want to listen more to his own daughter, I think.”
“I imagine the strike got a few things out in the open, though?” Amy mused.
“You would think,” Francine replied. “But even in that there were those who would not tell the truth to him.”
“Well, I’ll tell you the truth,” Abbey interjected. “I’ve had a long day flying back and forth to Berlin and I want to talk about something other than work!”
“I agree one hundred percent!” Francine said, giggling as her new friends all cheered. “I want to talk about you all, to know about all my new friends!”
“Well, there’s not much to know…” Sophie mumbled, knowing that she said was untrue. She was expecting one question in particular to be asked, one that hadn't been asked the evening before, and a quick glance at her other friends confirmed the same thing. Francine, however, also noticed her friends’ discomfort and smiled sympathetically.
“I will not ask any questions about being transgender,” Francine said reassuringly. “Ellen’s sister has told me all that I should know, including that I should not ask questions if you do not want to answer.”
“All that she needs to know is that there are eight women sat at this table, and that is all,” Amelie said proudly. “Before Francine says it, I will admit that I did not always hold that opinion, but I was educated, and unlike my father, I can admit that I was once wrong.”
“C'est injuste,” Francine said with a frown.
“It is not unfair, and you should be speaking English!” Amelie chastised her younger sister, making Sophie and many of the other women feel uncomfortable as the teenager blushed and frowned.
“Hey, hey, let- let’s just take a breath, okay?” Abbey asked. “Though I guess there’s no one here who hasn’t had any family issues in the past, heh.”
“That’s for sure,” Sophie sighed as she finished her glass of wine and tried her hardest not to think about her own family issues. “I’m going to get another drink, do any of you want anything?”
“No, you should not pay, I shall pay for the drinks!” Francine insisted, standing up at the same time as Sophie. “Unless you are also daughter of a billionaire?” Not quite, Sophie thought to herself. According to my parents, I’m not even THEIR daughter…
“…Okay,” Sophie mumbled, sighing as she smoothed her short summer dress beneath her as she sat back down.
“You just wish to speak to the sexy barman!” Amelie teased her sister, who sighed and rolled her eyes.
“He’s not really that tall, the floor behind the bar is raised, you know,” Ellen teased.
“And he’s also engaged to the manager,” Amy said with a grin that the French teenager quickly mirrored.
“Good,” Francine said. “Then I can invite her down to speak to her!” The seven other women all chuckled quietly as Francine skipped over to the bar, before relaxing back into their seats.
“…In fairness, it is kinda hard for us to talk about ourselves without talking about, you know, ‘it’,” Abbey sighed.
“Or our families,” Sophie mumbled.
“That’s for damn sure,” Amy sighed. “Well… Our biological family, anyway. I know I’ve got seven sisters sat here with me right now, heh!”
“Francine is settling in with you, then?” Amelie asked.
“Yeah, she’s great,” Sophie replied. “I’m still surprised we’ve got her living with us, instead of you two, or Alicia or someone.”
“I may have given her a suggestion,” Amelie said with a smug grin. “She said she did not want to live with me, but to be close to me, so I told her to live with someone we could both trust.”
“Well- thanks,” Sophie chuckled. “And- ugh, I’m an only child, as you know, so I can’t really comment, but- but you two don’t seem to be, you know, best friends all the time?”
“Same for all siblings,” Ellen shrugged. “God knows me and Sasha fell out all the time growing up, doesn’t mean I don’t adore her.”
“Even if I can tell you Ellen’s sister is the quietest person in the world,” Amelie chuckled. “You would not believe she would argue with anyone, but not anyone is her sister. And I adore Francine just as Ellen does Sasha. Even if we do not agree all the time.”
“Is that the same for you and your father?” Hayley asked, biting her lip as the Frenchwoman frowned.
“…Oui,” Amelie admitted. “He can piss me off with everything he does, but he is still my father. I perhaps see more than Francine does, I do not criticise her for defending him. She will learn as she works with us. Just as I hope my father will learn from the book, or from the strike. But I do not hold out hope.” You're not the only one who feels that way about their father, Sophie self-pityingly thought to herself.
“Well, you never know,” Abbey shrugged. “I never thought my mother would accept me for being who I am, but she not only accepted me, she encouraged and enabled me to the woman I truly am. Maybe your father has a softer side you just haven’t seen yet.”
“…Maybe,” Amelie whispered. “But either he accepts Ellen as he accepts my brothers’ wives and my sister’s husband, or he accepts neither of us.”
“Well, that’s something we certainly can’t argue with,” Amy chuckled as Francine returned with their drinks and the bar’s manager.
“Hey everyone!” Rachel Harrison said with a grin that was mirrored by the women at the table. “Francine here says you’re all helping her settle in, both in London and with the airline?”
“Well, we’re trying,” Abbey replied with a chuckle.
“Who’s your mentor, Francine?” Rachel asked. “One of this motley crew?”
“Funny woman,” Hayley snorted.
“…No,” Francine replied with a chuckle. “It is a woman called Alicia Tate.”
“Don’t think I know her,” Rachel replied.
“You’re not likely to either,” Abbey sighed. “She’s one who takes the informal ban on coming to this place seriously.”
“Ah, well, fair enough,” Rachel shrugged. “Not like we don’t do great business otherwise, heh! Are all of you at work tomorrow?”
“Just me and Ellen,” Abbey replied. “Oh, and Francine, of course!”
“Of course!” Rachel chuckled. “Have the rest of you got anything special planned for tomorrow?”
“Not really,” Amy replied. “I might- I might go and see my parents, maybe…” Sophie and Hayley both tried not to frown, as they knew that when Amy said ‘see her parents’, what she really meant was ‘see her daughter’- a topic that was still sensitive for the otherwise extroverted woman.
“Me too,” Hayley said. “Well, my dad, anyway…”
“Sophie?” Rachel asked, making the brown-haired woman flinch in her seat. “Any plans for tomorrow?”
“Oh, umm, nope, nothing planned,” Sophie replied, inwardly groaning with frustration. All the talk of visiting family only served to remind Sophie of her stress. The upcoming rest days would be the perfect opportunity for Sophie to tell her parents the truth about herself, especially as she’d have Amy and Hayley for moral support too. And yet, the more she thought about it, the more anxious she became, and the more anxious she became, the more frustrated she became, as she knew that she could plan her coming out to the minutest detail, but it wouldn’t make a difference, as she’d never have to the bottle to actually go through with it.
As she laid in bed that night, Sophie- as she had done many, many times before- ran over all the possible scenarios in her head. She could come out to her parents, be accepted and live happily ever after as a gender fluid person with all the friends and family she could ever hope for. She could come out and be rejected, but still have her friends and still have her life as ‘Sophie’. In either scenario, she’d also still have her career, both as a flight attendant and a journalist/writer. That would also be the case if Sophie took no action and allowed the status quo to remain- keep working for the airline, keep living with her friends as Sophie, and keep her parents blissfully unaware of the truth. And keep being stressed out every time the thought of coming out even approached the back of her mind.
And then, there was the ‘nuclear option’, an option Sophie hated herself for even considering, but which had crossed her mind with increasing frequency over the prior few months, especially since the strike. She could always abandon her life as Sophie and go back to being ‘James’ full-time- just as she’d always planned to do when the whole thing had started. She’d still have her career as a writer, her parents would be none the wiser and all the stress she was feeling would just melt away. But in doing so, she’d lose her friends. She’d lose the support network she’d come to depend on, and in many ways, she’d lose her life. Amy, Hayley and the others weren’t just Sophie’s friends, they were her sisters in every way that mattered. Sophie could take or leave the job with the airline, and she could even take or leave the clothes and the make-up, but she simply couldn’t abandon the love that her friends had shown her- HER, not James. Even if she took the ‘nuclear option’ but made occasional visits to her friends, it wouldn’t be the same. She didn’t want to be ‘James in a dress’, she wanted to be Sophie- the woman she felt like she truly was, deep down inside. She just wished that she could be Sophie but be free of all her stress- and all her insomnia…
“Wake up, Sophie!” Francine giggled, shaking Sophie free from her dreamless slumber the following morning.
“Ugh, leave me alone, I’m not working today…” Sophie mumbled, pulling her spare pillow over her head only to have it immediately snatched away by the French girl.
“No, but I am,” Francine replied. “And I thought as I shall wake you anyway when dressing, I shall wake you now, so you are not surprised.”
“You could always get dressed quietly,” Sophie said, before biting her lip and blushing as the nineteen-year-old stripped off her pyjamas without a second thought. “Oh- umm…”
“Why do you look away?” Francine asked. “We are both girls, are we not?”
“Yeah, but as we established last night, not everyone thinks that way,” Sophie replied.
“We also est- umm, est- that word that you said- that I am not one of those people,” Francine said. “Unless it is that you think I am attractive? Or very ugly?”
“Well, I- ugh, funny,” Sophie stammered, before letting out a long sigh as her roommate giggled loudly. “Are you travelling to work with anyone today?”
“Hayley shall be with me,” Francine replied. “She is travelling to see her father, who lives in the west of the country, so she shall go the same way as me.”
“Good,” Sophie said, before rolling over in her bed. “So go and wake her up.”
“Very well, I shall!” Francine giggled. “I shall see you when I return!”
“Yep,” Sophie grunted. “Travel safe!” Sophie smirked as the young Frenchwoman left the bedroom with a giggle, before letting out another long sigh. It was already daylight outside, meaning the chances of her getting back to sleep were close to zero.
Sophie remained alone with her thoughts until she heard the flat’s front door open and close, signifying Francine and Hayley’s departure. With a tired sigh, Sophie dragged her body out of bed and headed through to the flat’s living area, where the other flatmate was busy preparing her breakfast.
“Morning!” Amy said with a tired-looking smile. “You just missed Hayley and Francine.”
“Yeah, I didn’t miss Francine this morning,” Sophie retorted, chuckling at the confused look in her friend’s eyes. “She woke me up before she went.”
“Ah, George Michael fan, then,” Amy quipped, making Sophie smirk.
“I dunno,” Sophie chuckled. “Though you can’t deny she’s a lot more, well, fun than Amelie.”
“Yeah… That’s not exactly hard, though,” Amy said. “Especially since the strike, I mean, you’d have thought she’d have been happy about, like, ‘beating’ her dad, but- ugh. Never mind.”
“And I can’t exactly comment about parent issues,” Sophie chuckled.
“Me either,” Amy sighed. “Though in my case, I AM the parent, heh.”
“Yeah…” Sophie grimaced. “When you said yesterday that you were going to see your parents today, I- I kinda, you know, wondered-“
“If I was actually going to see Jade?” Amy asked, before sighing again. “Yep, that’s the plan. I mean, school holidays started over two weeks ago and I’ve not so much as spoken to her yet…”
“There’s got to be some law against that, surely?” Sophie asked. “Like, a custody arrangement, or something?”
“Well, that assumes that Kerry acknowledges that I’m Jade’s father,” Amy replied. “Which she doesn’t. And if I go through court, there’s every chance that Jade will find out I’m her father and not her aunt, and- ugh.”
“…Would that necessarily be a bad thing?” Sophie asked quietly.
“If it means that Kerry moves away and I never see Jade again, then yes,” Amy grumbled, making Sophie cringe. “Ugh, Soph, I- I’m sorry, I don’t mean to take it out on you, I just- ugh.”
“I dunno how much this’ll help,” Sophie mumbled, “and I’m sure I’ve told you this before, but- but, you know, for my second book, I- I’ve talked to a lot of people who are in your position.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt there are plenty of fathers who are in my position, heh,” Amy sighed. “Can well believe there are more than a few mothers as well, heh. But all that means is there are more people out there who are going through this shit unnecessarily.”
“Well- can’t really argue with that,” Sophie sighed. “And there are two women in particular who spring immediately to mind…”
As Sophie and Amy were talking, one of the two women that Sophie was referring to was on a train heading westward, her body riddled with nerves as she prepared for the day ahead. Whilst Hayley had travelled to Bristol many times before to see her father, today would be a new experience for both of them.
When Denise came out to her family, they had rejected her without a second thought- just as they would do to Hayley five years later. While the two women wasted no time in patching up their relationship once they were reconciled, they still remained estranged from the rest of their family- at least, until Hayley received an unexpected call from her sister. While further contact between the siblings had been kept to text messages and Facebook chats only, it was still more contact than Hayley had had from her family in over two years. However, while Hayley was grateful for the opportunity to speak to her sister, there was one thing she couldn't, and wouldn't look past- the fact that she continued to refer to him as ‘Harry’.
Hayley was certain that her sister felt that calling someone by their deadname wasn't anything inherently wrong- after all, Hayley had been known by that name for almost two decades. For Hayley, though, every time she was called ‘Harry’, especially by her family, was a message to tell her that her feelings, her very identity, was not legitimate- not real, even. It was a message to tell her that they thought that ‘Hayley’ was just a game, just a phase that she was going through. It was a message that they would never accept the real her.
Many of Hayley’s friends had advised her that she should sever contact with anyone who used her deadname, family or otherwise, and Hayley knew that several of her friends had done just that when put in the same position. However, as much as she might have wanted to at times, Hayley couldn’t bring herself to hate her family, not after she’d re-established contact after so long. Hayley was certain that she could educate them, that she could make them face the reality that she WAS a woman and there was nothing that they or anyone else could do about it. And if she had to do that one family member at a time, so be it. It would even be easier that way, Hayley reasoned to herself as her train pulled into Temple Meads station, as that way she’d at least have the numerical advantage…
“Hi Hayley!” Denise said with a wide grin as she greeted her daughter with a hug. “How’ve you been lately? I read all about the strike, and saw that interview with your friend Rachel…”
“Yeah, it- it’s been a bit mad at work, heh!” Hayley replied with a grin. “But today, I- I really want to forget about work, heh. Got another type of stress to worry about instead…”
“Don’t think of it as stressful,” Denise quietly advised. “She’s still your sister. And together, we WILL make her see that you are hers.”
“Well- let’s hope so,” Hayley chuckled. “I mean, I want to be optimistic about this, after all, she reached out to me, which must mean she wants some kind of relationship, but- yeah. We’ll only know for sure once we see her. Or rather, when she sees us.”
“Yep,” Denise said. “Fingers crossed, heh!”
“Yep!” Hayley said with a nod as she and her father headed to a café in the station concourse, where they awaited the arrival of the train from Nottingham.
The two women didn’t have to wait long for the train containing their family member to arrive, and mere seconds later, Hayley stood up and froze as she caught sight of her sister across the crowded concourse. In the years that had passed since she’d last seen Lucy in the flesh, Lucy had hardly changed at all, but Hayley mused on how much she herself obviously had. What gave Hayley the most pause, though, was how much she resembled her sister- not just in terms of their physical characteristics, but also in terms of their fashion and make-up sense. As her sister approached, Hayley began to wonder how much she'd unconsciously copied from her sister's unique style, and whether or not Lucy would notice- and hold that against her. Hayley bit her lip as her sister approached the table, before being momentarily surprised when her father gripped her hand for support.
“H- hi Lucy,” Denise said, her breath catching in her mouth as her oldest daughter sat down opposite her.
“Hi… Dad,” Lucy hesitantly replied. “Hi Harry.”
“Hayley,” the younger woman said firmly. “My name is Hayley.”
“Well- okay, if you insist,” Lucy said, taken aback by her sibling’s defensiveness.
“Well, yes, I do insist, because that’s my name,” Hayley said, flinching as her older sister frowned.
“…This was a mistake, wasn’t it?” Lucy sighed, motioning to stand up only to be stopped by Denise.
“No, no it wasn’t,” the older woman said softly. “But- but it was a mistake to call your sister ‘Harry’. Her name is Hayley.”
“Well- I’m sorry, but when I look at her, I only see ‘Harry’,” Lucy said dismissively.
“Then maybe you should look closer,” Hayley whispered, keeping her tone calm out of fear of further alienating her sister. “And maybe look at my passport, too, ‘cause that says ‘Hayley’ on it.”
“What does it say your gender is?” Lucy asked, making her sister bite her lip with frustration as her blood pressure climbed ever higher.
“…Male,” Hayley confessed. “But only because the gender recognition act really needs updating.”
“Well- okay,” Lucy said, conceding her sister’s point with a nod. “I’ll admit, I don’t know what that is, but you’ll both obviously know more about it than I do, so- yeah.”
“Well, homework was never really your strong suit,” Denise teased, giggling as her oldest daughter rolled her eyes. “But I don’t care about any of that now. All I care about is that you’ve agreed to come and see me.”
“Well, I thought, you know, life’s too short to hold a grudge, like,” Lucy mumbled. “I mean, I don’t HATE you, and, like, I don’t hate transgender people, like, in general, so I thought,- well, you know…”
“I think I know,” Denise said softly. “Now that the dust has settled, calmer heads prevail.”
“And both of you- both of you are still women,” Lucy mumbled.
“Always have been women,” Hayley corrected her sister. “On the inside, anyway.”
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Lucy said. “I mean, I see that now, like, thirty seconds of talking to you both and it’s obvious, but I- I keep hearing all these stories about, you know, people who change their gender only to regret it later…”
“I’m guessing you hear that from people who don’t want to tell you about the vast majority of us who transition and don’t regret it?” Hayley asked.
“Probably,” Lucy mumbled with a shrug. “But I- I don’t want to, you know, let ‘it’ come between me and my family.”
“By ‘it’ do you mean our being transgender or your transphobia?” Hayley asked.
“Hayley, this isn’t helping,” Denise said softly, smiling sympathetically as the younger of her two children frowned.
“…Sorry,” Hayley mumbled.
“And it’s a fair question, I guess,” Lucy shrugged. “And I guess the answer would be ‘both’. But I- I wanna make a fresh start, you know? Like I said, life’s too short, and I- I’d rather have a little sister than no little brother.”
“How is Dylan, anyway?” Denise asked, her daughter’s words evoking memories of her youngest child. ”Did- did he not want to come today?”
“…He doesn’t know I’m here,” Lucy replied with a sigh. “Neither does mum. But I figure, you know, I’m 26, I don’t need permission to see you, right?”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Denise whispered. “And I really can’t tell you just how happy I am to see you again, here, in the flesh.”
“Yeah,” Lucy said. “I- I hope you know that this- this is still weird for me. Like, REALLY weird. But, you know, like a good weird, if that makes sense?” Hayley felt a smile start to creep onto her face as for the first time ever, she felt acceptance from her sister.
“I think so,” Denise said.
“But, you know, I really enjoyed chatting with Har- with Hayley, these last few weeks,” Lucy said, widening Hayley's smile further at the use of her real name. “It’s, like, making a new friend, and if I ignore the fact that you’re, you know, trans, well, yeah.”
“You don’t need to ignore that to accept us,” Hayley said, her voice much calmer than before.
“Well- no, I guess I don’t,” Lucy said. “But, you know, it’s not that easy. But, I guess it’s worth trying anyway.”
“Well- thanks,” Hayley said, keeping her temper in check despite what she perceived as her sister's dismissive attitude. “And for what it’s worth, I- I enjoyed chatting with you too. When, you know, you weren’t calling me ‘Harry’, anyway.”
“Meh, well, now I know why I shouldn’t do that,” Lucy shrugged. “But, you know, if you do want to be sisters- like, real sisters- I’d- I’d like that.” Hayley paused as she considered Lucy’s offer. They’d never been particularly close while growing up, but it still hurt Hayley when Lucy so callously rejected her after she came out. Hayley had resigned herself to never having a family again, but then she met Amy and Sophie, two women who had become more like sisters to her than Lucy ever was, or likely ever would be. Sophie had often spoken about the idea of a ‘family of choice’, something in which Hayley firmly believed, which led to her believing that she wouldn’t need her biological family. However, she knew that she could never turn down Lucy’s offer of reconciliation- if not for her own sake, then for her father’s. Denise hadn’t been as lucky as Hayley. She didn’t have the family of choice or the career to fall back on. All she had was Hayley. And Hayley was determined to do everything within her power to make her father's life easier.
“…I’d like that too,” Hayley said as all three women at the table smiled widely and genuinely.
The family spent the next two hours getting reacquainted with each other, Hayley dominating the conversation with her stories of the strike and the unruly passengers she’d had to deal with in her time with the airline- stories Lucy listened to intently. Hayley and Denise listened as Lucy told them about her life and that of her brother, and of the many changes that had happened in their hometown since Hayley and Denise had left. Hayley felt her initial sense of unease gradually disappear, and she soon found herself wishing that she had more time to get reacquainted with her sister- something helped by Lucy never using the name 'Harry' during the remainder of the visit. However, throughout the afternoon, Denise remained for the most part quiet- something Hayley couldn’t help but notice as they bade farewell to Lucy with a tight hug each.
“Are you okay?” Hayley asked her father as they made their way back to the concourse to wait for Hayley’s train back to London.
“Hmm?” Denise replied. “Yeah, I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“You were just, you know, kinda quiet, that’s all,” Hayley replied.
“Hmm,” Denise said. “I was just- I was just marvelling at how I was having lunch with my two daughters, heh. If you’d told me two years ago that that’d happen, I’d have thought you were on drugs.”
“Yeah, I know that feeling,” Hayley chuckled. “The, umm, the ‘not believing I’d have this much contact with my family’ thing, not the drugs thing, heh.”
“Glad to hear it,” Denise chuckled. “And are you okay?”
“Umm, yeah, I’m fine,” Hayley shrugged. “Had a great day…”
“If you insist,” Denise said. “Because I saw how stressed out you were getting when Lucy first got here.”
“Yeah, but it was my idea for her to come down,” Hayley said, before sighing. “Even if part of me wanted to, you know, confront her for constantly calling me ‘Harry’…”
“There aren’t many things that sting quite like being deadnamed,” Denise said. “And it’s not like you and Lucy got on brilliantly even when you were- well, when you were both kids.”
“True,” Hayley mumbled. “But, you know, we’re both adults now, no reason we can’t get along- well, no reason now she’s had a much-needed attitude adjustment, anyway.”
“Exactly,” Denise said with a smile. “And I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but if Lucy’s willing to see us again, then maybe Dylan might be too?”
“…And mum?” Hayley whispered, frowning as tears started to form in her father's eyes.
“…She wouldn’t want to see me again,” Denise mumbled. “That much I can tell you without doubt. But you’re still her child, she can’t deny that.”
“I dunno, she had a bloody good go at denying me when I came out,” Hayley sighed. “But you’re right, there’s no sense in being pessimistic, heh.”
“Today has definitely proved that,” Denise said with a grin. “Do you know when you’ll be back this way again?”
“Not until October at the earliest,” Hayley sighed. “You could, you know, always come to London again, if you wanted?”
“I would,” Denise said, before grinning as she exchanged a tight, loving hug with her daughter. “And you take care of yourself, okay? Especially now that I actually have two daughters, heh.”
“I will,” Hayley chuckled, before sighing as her train was announced. “And you take of yourself too. Heh, especially now that you’ve got two daughters!”
“I will, you don’t need to worry about that!” Denise giggled, before bidding farewell to her daughter with another tight hug.
As she sped back to London on her train, Hayley mused on how she’d been so certain that her sister would reject her again that she nearly didn’t go to Bristol at all, but in the end, things went even better than she could’ve imagine. For the first time in a long time, Hayley was excited about the future, but she quickly realised she was as excited, if not more so, to share the news with Amy and Sophie- the two women she considered to be her ‘real’ sisters.
However, while Hayley was privately celebrating her victory, in Kent, Amy was having less success with her family.
“Auntie Amy!” Jade squeaked excitedly as she rushed over for a hug, which Amy was only too happy to share even if inside, her heart was breaking.
“Hi Jade!” Amy said, forcing a smile on her face as she held her six-year-old daughter. “Have you been having fun over summer?”
“Yep!” Jade replied. “Mummy says that next week she’s going to take me to Legoland in Windsor!”
“Ah, that sounds like so much fun!” Amy giggled.
“Because it’s near London I’ve asked if daddy can come too, but mummy says he’ll be too busy,” Jade said, her excited tone rapidly disappearing and breaking Amy’s heart all over again. Amy frowned as she gazed over at the little girl’s mother, almost like she was asking for permission. However, Amy inferred from the angry glare she received that she wouldn’t be given permission that day or, in all likelihood, any other day.
“Well- you know your daddy loves you very much, don’t you?” Amy asked, smiling sadly as the little girl nodded. “I’m sure he-“ Amy paused as she pondered her next words. She wanted to say, ‘I’m sure he’ll see you very soon’, but she didn’t dare out of fear of getting the little girl’s hopes up.
“He misses you too,” Kerry said in an almost dismissive tone. “Now come on, get your shoes on, the sooner we’re ready the sooner we can be at the park!” Amy forced her smile to remain on her face as the little girl giggled and raced back up the stairs, before frowning as the girl’s mother turned to her with an angry look on her face.
“Honestly, I wasn’t going to tell her,” Amy said quietly.
“But you were thinking about it, weren’t you?” Kerry hissed.
“Well, this- this can’t go on forever,” Amy sighed. “I AM her father, and-“
“Keep your voice down!” Kerry interrupted. “She’s not deaf, you know! As I’ve told you a million times, when she’s old enough to figure it out for herself, THEN you can tell her the truth. Until then-“
“Until then I’ll just keep sending you hundreds of pounds in maintenance each month,” Amy hissed, biting her lip as the other woman’s scowl deepened. “Sometimes I think that’s the only reason you let me have any access to Jade at all.”
“Sometimes, you’re right,” Kerry sneered, before smiling as her daughter returned to the living room wearing a pair of pink trainers- shoes that Amy immediately recognised as the pair she- or, from Jade's perspective, her father- bought her for her birthday two months earlier.
“Aww, don’t you look pretty!” Amy cooed as the little girl did a playful twirl to show off her dress and her trainers.
“Thank you, Auntie Amy!” Jade giggled. “Please can you take a picture of me to show daddy?”
“…Of course,” Amy said, smiling as she took her phone out of her handbag and snapped the young girl. “I’m sure he’ll think you’re as pretty as I do.” Equally as pretty, Amy thought to herself sadly as the three of them headed out of the house and to the nearby park.
Amy spent the next two hours playing with her daughter in the park, but eventually, the afternoon drew on and Jade became increasingly tired and grumpy, prompting her mother to call a halt to the visit. If Amy had had the choice, though, she would've been happy to stay in the park with her daughter forever.
“Okay Jade, it’s time to go home,” Kerry said as she helped her daughter with her lightweight summer jacket. “Say goodbye to your Auntie Amy!”
“Goodbye Auntie Amy!” Jade said, eagerly skipping over to the ginger-haired woman for a long hug.
“Bye Jade!” Amy said, forcing a smile on her face and blinking back tears as she embraced her daughter. “I’ll be back really soon, I promise!” Despite her best efforts, a tear trickled down Amy’s cheek as the little girl giggled happily.
“Will you show daddy the pictures you took?” Jade asked, freshly breaking Amy’s heart all over again.
“Of course I will!” Amy chuckled. “I’ll make sure he sees all of them, and all the videos too!” Even if he’s already seen it all live, Amy ruefully thought to herself.
“Okay, it’s time to go now, come along Jade,” Kerry said, reaching out her hand for her daughter to take. Amy reluctantly released her hug and watched tearfully as her daughter was led away once again. “Amy, I’ll call you about the next visit, but it won’t be until she’s back at school, okay?”
“Okay,” Amy whispered, though deep down, her overriding thought was that it was not okay- and neither was she.
Amy had no doubt that if she had still been ‘Andy’, she would’ve been allowed to see Jade as often as she wanted and wouldn’t have had to hide the fact that she was the little girl’s parent. However, if Amy had still been ‘Andy’, there was no way she would’ve been able to tolerate that life, father or otherwise. As ‘Andy’, her life had been a constant source of frustration and anger. She acted out because she felt she had to act out in order to be a man. She got in trouble because she felt that she had to get in trouble in order to be a man. She'd had multiple girlfriends and slept around because she felt that she had to, in order to be a ‘real’ man. And she’d impregnated her girlfriend when she was just sixteen years old because she felt that she had to in order to be a ‘true’ man. Amy strongly suspected that had she continued down the same path, she’d have ended up homeless, or in prison… or even worse. Seeing a counsellor, coming out to her parents and transitioning had literally saved her life- but it had also cost her the opportunity to be a father.
One day, maybe, she’d be able to tell Jade the truth. But that day was a long way away, and didn't seem to Amy to ever be getting any closer. With a heavy heart, Amy trudged back to the rail station and boarded her train back to London, hoping that maybe, just maybe her other friends had had more luck than she had.
However, whilst her flatmates were on their travels, Sophie found herself growing increasingly anxious as she was left alone with her thoughts. She’d arranged to call her parents in the early afternoon, but as afternoon arrived, she grew more and more reluctant to pick up the phone and actually make the call. Every call she’d made recently had gone the same way- she’d call them or they’d call her, she’d ask how they were, they’d ask how ‘James’ was, and they’d spend the rest of the call trying to persuade ‘James’ to stop pretending to be a woman, quit the airline and get a full-time journalism job. And Sophie would make up increasingly tenuous excuses as to why she couldn’t leave the airline just yet, even though (as far as her parents were concerned) she ‘hates being a woman’, and would end the call feeling more frustrated than when she started.
Nonetheless, when the clock ticked over to 1:30pm, Sophie took a deep breath and forced herself to pick up the phone and dial her parents’ home number. Seconds later, the line connected, and despite her best efforts, Sophie felt her body tense up.
“Hello?” The refined voice of Sophie’s mother asked.
“Hi mum,” Sophie said in her supposed 'natural' voice- 'James's voice, a voice that continued to feel and sound less and less natural as time went on.
“James, hi!” Mrs Connolly said enthusiastically. “I wasn’t expecting you to call this early!”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t have anything to do, so, well, yeah,” ‘James’ replied. “How are you and dad?”
“Oh, we’re fine, just enjoying the sunshine while it lasts!” Mrs Connolly replied. “How about you? Have you made any plans yet to get away this summer?”
“Well, I- I kinda get enough ‘getting away’ at work,” Sophie replied, frowning as her mother paused.
“…Of course,” Mrs Connolly said quietly. “I just thought, what with your young lady and all that…” Young lady? Sophie thought, before grimacing as she remembered the lie she’d told about her relationship with Amy.
“Ah- yeah,” Sophie said with a grimace. “Well, as she works for the airline too, well- yeah.”
“Ah, yes,” Mrs Connolly said darkly. “I forgot that ‘she’ was a colleague of yours.” And it’s a good job you’ve never met Amy if you’re going to say ‘she’ like that, Sophie continued to think.
“…Yep,” Sophie said. And here it comes… Sophie thought to herself.
“Why you’re still working for that airline is beyond me,” Mrs Connolly sighed, as she had during every phone call she’d shared with Sophie since learning about her child's employment status.
“I won’t be for much longer,” Sophie semi-lied. “Just as soon as I’ve finished my second book.” Then I’ll leave whether I want to or not, Sophie thought to herself as she remembered the conversation she’d had with the London hub’s new manager after the end of the strike.
Unlike Alana, Marie was more concerned with building a relationship with her subordinates than sucking up to her superiors, and crucially, had also contributed to Sophie’s expose of the airline. Both Sophie and Marie had privately agreed to keep that detail to themselves, but Marie hadn’t hesitated to tell Sophie that her managers were almost certain that she had ghost-written the book- and that any future book Sophie wrote would be taken as proof of that and used as justification to dismiss her. Unlike Alana, Marie had been apologetic when telling Sophie this, stating that her hands were tied by management, but like Alana- and her parents, friends and virtually everyone else Sophie knew- Marie had expressed surprise that Sophie would want to remain with the airline.
“Well, good,” Mrs Connolly said, though Sophie could immediately tell that she didn’t entirely believe her. “The sooner you’re out of that place and back to being the real you again, the better!”
“Yep!” Sophie said, grimacing as she knew that this time, it wasn’t just a semi-lie, but a full-blown lie.
“When are you next at work?” Mrs Connolly asked.
“Umm, not until Monday,” Sophie replied. “It’s kind-of a long weekend for all of us, as we’ve been putting in a lot of shifts with it being holiday season and all that.”
“Yes,” Mrs Connolly said in a clipped voice. “Well, if you’ve got a few days free, you can come and visit, can’t you? And did you say that your girlfriend was also free?” …Dammit, I did, Sophie thought to herself.
“Umm, yep,” Sophie mumbled. “I, umm, don’t know if we have anything planned…”
“Well, a couple of hours to visit us at home won’t kill you,” Mrs Connolly said. “And we’ll finally get to meet this Amy of yours! I was surprised she didn’t come along to your birthday dinner last month.”
“W- well, umm, like I said, if we don’t have any plans,” Sophie stammered.
“Well, even so, you should tell her that you want to visit your parents,” Mrs Connolly said. “Remind her that you are a man- I mean, well, underneath- well, everything. I can see why she might have forgotten.”
“Well- maybe,” Sophie mumbled as she felt her stress levels grow ever higher.
“I don’t see why there’s a ‘maybe’ about it,” Mrs Connolly said. “I mean, you did say that Amy knows the truth about you, doesn’t she?”
“Well- yes, yes she does,” Sophie said, before letting out a quiet sigh. I’m just not sure that YOU do… the distressed young woman thought to herself.
Fortunately for Sophie, she was quickly able to steer the conversation onto a different topic, and she spent the next fifteen minutes talking with her mother about things other than work or Amy. All throughout the call, Sophie tried to forget the fact that she was dressed in a loose summer camisole and a short denim skirt, or the fact that all 20 of her nails were covered in deep red polish, or that her hair was long and styled- or especially that neither of her parents had ever seen her dressed in such a fashion.
“Well, I’d better let you get back to it,” Mrs Connolly said, causing her child to let out a quiet sigh of relief. “But we will see you tomorrow, won’t we?”
“Of- of course!” Sophie replied, too exhausted from the call to argue. “I- I’ll let Amy know too, if she’s not, umm, busy…”
“That’ll be great,” Mrs Connolly said. “We’re looking forward to meeting her, your father and I!”
“Great!” Sophie chuckled insincerely. “I, umm, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”
“We’ll see you then,” Mrs Connolly said, before ending the call. With a loud groan, Sophie flopped onto the sofa as it slowly sunk in what she’d agreed to.
On the one hand, it wasn’t too great a burden to visit her parents, or even to become ‘James’ again for a short while. While she considered ‘Sophie’ to be her 'real' personality, she had no desire to completely abandon ‘James’ as she still found comfort in being able to retreat into 'James' whenever she needed- especially when it came to her parents. She could also just as easily say that Amy was ill, or had been called into work on an emergency- after all, as the phone call had demonstrated, she had no problem with lying to her parents either. However, if she did this, then her problems would just continue to pile up. She’d still be stressed out, she'd still have to maintain a lie to her parents, and most importantly of all, she still wouldn't be out to them. Sophie wondered whether the visit the following day would turn out to be a blessing in disguise, a chance to finally be free of the stress of hiding her true self- or rather, her new true self. After all, there was no guarantee that her parents would outright reject her- the fact that both Hayley and Amy were visiting with family at that exact moment was proof that some family bonds were too strong to break. However, Sophie knew that if she was to finally come out to her parents, she wouldn’t be able to do so alone…
“Yoo-hoo, anyone home?” Hayley asked as she walked through the front door, waking Sophie from a light nap. “Soph? Amy? Somy?”
“Ugh, I told you already that ‘Somy’ is a lame name,” Sophie grunted as she opened her eyes.
“Yes, yes, okay,” Hayley scoffed. “’Somy Lame Station 4’ and all that…” Sophie smirked before stretching her tired muscles and relaxing back into the sofa where she’d snoozed.
“How was Denise?” Sophie asked her friend, who immediately smiled at the thought of her day.
“She was great!” Hayley giggled. “And so was my sister. I mean, I don’t know what I was expecting, but when I think about it, I figure that she wouldn’t travel all the way from Nottingham to Bristol just to tell us where we can shove it, right? So, she heard us out, we got talking, and- yeah. Things are actually looking up, heh!”
“Cool!” Sophie chuckled, her confidence levels rising. “Do you know when you’ll be seeing her again?”
“Umm, not yet,” Hayley replied. “But hopefully soon. Hopefully again during summer, at least.”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“You been up to much while I was out?” Hayley asked. “With the whole flat to yourself, like?”
“Umm, not really,” Sophie replied. “Just did a bit of cleaning, wrote some more of my book… Called my parents…”
“Ah, okay,” Hayley said, her smile immediately giving way for a look of concern. “How- how did that go?”
“Well, umm, okay, I guess,” Sophie shrugged, before frowning as Hayley sighed and sat down next to her on the sofa.
“Same as always?” Hayley asked gently.
“Same as always,” Sophie moaned. “Even better, I’ve somehow been talked into going round there tomorrow to see them… Ugh. I know, I know, I can’t keep this up forever, I just- ugh. You know, there are some days, some times when I- when I wished I’d never become ‘Sophie’ in the first place…”
“I know, I know,” Hayley whispered as she pulled her friend in for a much-needed hug.
“But then I think about everything I’ve gained since being ‘Sophie’, and I realise how ungrateful I am to think that,” Sophie sighed. “I mean, even if I could be ‘your friend James’-“
“Which you can, as we’ve said multiple times,” Hayley interrupted.
“I- I’d much rather be, you know, ‘your friend Sophie’,” Sophie said, before letting out yet another long, tired sigh. “But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to risk telling my parents I’m ‘their daughter Sophie’.”
“You wouldn’t be able to put the cork back in that bottle,” Hayley sighed.
“Exactly,” Sophie sighed. “Just like I can’t with ‘Sophie’ now that I’ve had a taste of- well of this, heh.”
“…You’ve been living as Sophie for two years,” Hayley said. “Almost exactly two years, come to think of it. That’s a lot more than just a ‘taste’.”
“…Sometimes, that’s all it feels like, though,” Sophie sighed. “And yes, me and Doctor Phillips talk about ‘imposter syndrome’ a lot, heh.”
“I think every transgender girl- heh, and not just the girls, like, every transgender person feels like that sometimes,” Hayley said. “And don’t say that you’re ‘not really transgender,’ because we both know better than that, okay?”
“…Thanks,” Sophie whispered, before smirking as the front door opened and the final member of Team ASH came walking through.
“Hey Amy!” Hayley said as she released Sophie from her hug. “Good day?”
“Meh, had better, had worse,” Amy shrugged as she dropped her handbag, kicked off her shoes and headed into the kitchen. “Have either of you started dinner or are we getting a Deliveroo again?”
“Umm, Deliveroo works for me, but shouldn’t we wait for Francine to get back first?” Sophie replied.
“Ah- yeah, probably,” Amy said with a forced chuckle. “It- it’s been a long day, heh.”
“Did you have a good day with your daughter?” Sophie asked, to which Amy replied with a silent nod. “You can be forgiven for forgetting about our new ‘little sister’ then, heh!”
“Heh,” Amy chuckled.
“I had a good day with my sister, too,” Hayley said. “Seeing as you’re mentioning ‘sisters’, heh. Actually, come to think of it, neither of you have any sisters or brothers, do you?”
“Nope,” Sophie replied. “Francine could probably tell us a few stories about growing up with brothers and sisters though, heh!”
“Oh- sure, ‘cause THAT’s the most extraordinary part of her childhood?” Hayley snorted. “Not the whole ‘having a father who’s richer than God’ thing?”
“Meh, I’ve already met Amelie,” Sophie shrugged, smirking as her friend giggled. “I’ve never lived with anyone who has four older siblings before, heh!”
“I bet she’s a much cooler aunt than Amelie, too,” Hayley chuckled. “Don’t get me wrong, I mean, I love Amelie, but she- A- Amy?” Hayley and Sophie paused as they glanced over at their red-haired friend- or more specifically, the tears trickling down her cheeks.
“Oh- oh my god, Amy, are you alright?” Sophie asked as she jumped to her feet.
“No,” Amy moaned, before leaning in for a hug that Sophie was only too happy to give.
“Oh god,” Hayley whispered as she and Sophie led their distraught friend to the sofa. “Amy, I am so sorry, I should have-“
“No, y- you don’t need to apologise, it’s just, you know, hormones,” Amy sighed. “Kinda built up on the train ride home, I- I’ll be fine, honestly.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not fine now, and that’s what matters,” Sophie said.
“Thanks,” Amy sighed. “Ugh, it- it’s my daughter. Or rather, her mother.”
“…What happened?” Sophie asked hesitantly, hoping not to offend her friend with her question.
“The same thing that always happened, that’s the problem,” Amy snorted. “’Auntie Amy’ went away promising to tell Jade’s ‘father’ all about what happened, and apologising that ‘he’ couldn’t be there.”
“Ugh,” Hayley spat. “There must surely be something that you can do about this?”
“What, other than cry, you mean?” Amy snorted, before shaking her head. “Ugh, I dunno. I mean, you’re right that Kerry can’t legally prevent me from telling Jade the truth, and if I went to court, they’d probably side with me, but- ugh. That’s hassle I really, really don’t need right now. I mean, Kerry’s said if I even hint about it, she’ll move away, and she’s got family in, like, Yorkshire that she can go and live with, and while I can take time out to visit, it’s not like my parents can, and as Jade’s the only grandchild they’re ever likely to have, well- yeah.”
“That just sucks so much,” Sophie sighed. “And no, to answer your next question, none of this will go into my book.”
“No, I- I want it to,” Amy said softly. “All of it.”
“Are- are you sure?” Sophie asked softly.
“100%,” Amy said, drying her eyes with her hands before taking a deep breath to compose herself. “’Cause I know I’m not the only trans woman to have- heh, to have ‘fathered’ a child, and I can’t be the only one to be going through shit like this. Even if- and I get the irony here- my own parents never had a problem with me transitioning.”
“Well- yeah,” Sophie mumbled as she remembered her own issues with her parents- and how trivial they suddenly seemed when compared to Amy’s troubles.
“…Soph?” Amy asked, her stress quickly being replaced by a look of concern for her friend. “Are you- is everything okay with you?”
“Yeah, sure,” Sophie replied with a shrug, before frowning as a tear slowly trickled from her eye. “Well, okay, not EVERYTHING… I- I kinda called my parents today, but that’s not important right now.”
“Again, ironic that I say this, but bollocks it isn’t,” Amy said. “Though I’m guessing it was ‘same old shit’ for you, just as it was for me?”
“Yep,” Sophie sighed. “With the added bonus that I’ve somehow been talked into visiting them tomorrow, so I get to be stressed face to face, wearing a sweaty pair of jeans instead of this skirt.”
“I was going to offer to go along with Sophie tomorrow, for moral support,” Hayley said. “But then you came back and- well, yeah.”
“Ugh, sorry,” Amy mumbled, before taking a breath and continuing before Sophie could speak. “But yeah, I’ll totally go along with you too. If- if that’s okay?”
“Umm, but you- are you- are you sure?” Sophie asked, smiling with embarrassment as the ginger girl sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Yes, I’m sure!” Amy replied. “Just ‘cause I’ve had a shit day, it doesn’t mean I’m not going to be there for my friends, does it?”
“Well- yeah, but-“ Sophie grimaced.
“No buts, okay?” Amy insisted.
“This- this is kinda a big one, though,” Sophie sighed, her cheeks reddening as Hayley suddenly giggled.
“Yeah, I think I know why, too,” Hayley said.
“I- ah, shit,” Amy sighed as she remembered what Sophie was implying. “They still think I’m your girlfriend, don’t they?”
“Yes, and I’ve already thought of several excu-“ Sophie said.
“It- it’s fine,” Amy said, shooting the still-giggling Hayley a death glare. “I can pretend for a few hours, and it’s not like your parents are going to want us to make out right in front of them, are they?”
“Nothing you haven’t done before,” Hayley teased, shrieking with laughter as Amy hit her in the arm with a cushion.
“…And I said I’d be there for you every step of the way when you came out to your parents,” Amy said. “So yes, I can stand pretending to be your girlfriend for a short while until you tell them the truth. Umm, you are- you are planning on telling them the truth, aren’t you? ‘Cause I really hope I didn’t just jump to a conclusion I shouldn’t have…”
“I- I don’t know,” Sophie confessed. “I probably won’t know when I’m going to come out to them until about 10 seconds before I actually do so, heh. And then chicken out about 8 seconds later, as usual…”
“Well- regardless, we’ll be there with you,” Amy said. “’Cause while the three of us might have, well, different family situations, one thing we all know is how stressful that first coming out actually is.”
“Totally,” Hayley said as the three women shared a tight group hug.
“…I don’t say this nearly often enough,” Sophie whispered. “But I truly, genuinely love both of you.”
“…I love both of you too,” Hayley said, wiping tears from her eyes.
“So do I,” Amy said without hesitation. “Team ASH forever!”
“Team ASH forever!” Hayley and Sophie both cheered with absolute sincerity.
While the three women were making plans for the following day, Francine was finishing her latest day of training. After sending a text message to her flatmates informing them she’d be home late, she headed out into the airport’s vast concourse, where her sister was waiting for her alongside three other familiar faces.
“Ah, bon- I mean to say, good evening!” Francine said, smirking as her sister rolled her eyes while Ellen, Zoe and Natalie all smirked.
“She is under orders to speak only English while living in London,” Amelie explained to her fiancée’s sister and her wife.
“Even though tonight there shall be four French women and only two English?” Zoe asked.
“When in London…” Ellen said, smirking as her sister-in-law giggled and rolled her eyes. “Don’t you have a dance class to teach this evening, anyway?”
“Not during the summer holiday,” Zoe replied. “Only pointe, pre-pointe, elite and adult classes continue, and Krystie likes to teach those by herself anyway. Perhaps when our second school opens next month, it shall change.”
“And you forgot the Sunday morning classes,” Natalie informed her wife, who smirked. “I think we can trust Francine with this ‘secret’, heh. They’re private classes for current and former employees of the airline, mostly just to hang out, get a bit of exercise on a Sunday morning.”
“…Do you mean to say that my sister has also spent the weekend dancing the ballet?” Francine asked, giggling as her sister rolled her eyes.
“Yes, for which I have already told you!” Amelie snorted. “And for that, you shall come along this Sunday as well!”
“But I have no justaucorps and no collants,” Francine replied with a smug grin.
“Zoe also owns an online dancewear store,” Natalie retorted with a smug grin. “Well, joint owns, but same thing.”
“And I always have room for more students in my class,” Zoe said with a smile that widened as her sister approached. “And so! Here is the one woman who has been more of a coward to dance than anyone else!”
“Oui, oui, très drôle,” Marie snorted as she greeted the five women with a gentle hug each. “My apologies for my lateness, I had to finish paperwork and a call with Paris and Berlin before I could leave.”
“Spoken as a true boss!” Zoe teased, giggling as her sister rolled her eyes. “And you know now there is no excuse why we should not see you on Sunday morning!”
“Other than the fact that I am thirty years of age and have not danced ballet since I was fifteen?” Marie retorted. “And also, it would not look good for a manager to be seen playing with employees, would it?”
“I disagree,” Amelie said bluntly. “Why should not a manager spend time with her friends? Of the five of us only two still work for you. And at least one shall leave within a year.”
“And we are all going to dinner together tonight,” Zoe reminded her sister.
“…I shall think about it,” Marie said with a tired laugh. “And there is a difference between dinner with family and playing with friends and colleagues!”
“And there is a difference between a serious dance class and ‘playing with friends’!” Zoe protested as the other four women began to giggle at the sisters’ increasingly heated argument. “Though I shall confess it is more the latter than the former. Especially when it is a birthday!”
“What happens on a birthday?” Francine asked.
“You get a year older,” Ellen replied, giggling as the French teenager rolled her eyes. “Nah, seriously though, Zoe has this amazing tutu that she makes everyone dress up in and dance in front of the class. You should have seen Abbey this Sunday just gone!
“Oui, I ‘make’ them wear the tutu,” Zoe snorted. “Sometimes it is making them take it off that is the challenge!”
“I assume that is especially so for the transgender women?” Francine asked, frowning as the other five women fidgeted awkwardly. “I- I’m sorry, did I say something bad?”
“Well… Yes and no,” Natalie sighed. “It’s kinda… Stereotyping trans girls to suggest that we’d all love to pull on a tutu and prance around everywhere- not that I’m saying that that’s what you said, though, and god knows it’s not like I don’t love doing that, heh! But- ehh, this is kinda hard to put into words, but- don’t think of us as ‘transwomen’ and ‘cis women’. Just think of us all as women, it’s just that simple. Though I am now kinda feeling self-conscious that I’m the only person here with a Y chromosome, heh.”
“I am sorry if I made offence,” Francine mumbled. “But I am still learning, and I have a lot to learn.”
“Yeah, but you’re at least willing to learn, which is more than can be said for some people,” Natalie chuckled. “And don’t worry about the ‘Y chromosome’ thing either, that’s on me, not you. Heh, even after almost ten years of living gender fluid, sometimes I feel, well- heh. My brother would say in a situation like this that he’d feel like Hugh Hefner or something.”
“I can confirm that, yep,” Ellen said with an overdramatic sigh.
“The only difference being that I don’t think old Hef ever wanted to wear the bunny costume himself,” Natalie chuckled.
“And thank you for THAT mental image just as we are about to eat dinner!” Amelie snorted, making all six women laugh as they left the airport.
Later that evening, Sophie laid in bed, wide awake with her mind racing about the following day's visit when she heard the flat’s front door open and close. A few seconds later, Francine strolled into the bedroom, kicking off her shoes and dropping her expensive designer handbag on her bed before giggling at the sight of the still-awake Englishwoman.
“Good evening Sophie!” Francine teased as she began to change out or her dress and into a pair of designer hipster jeans and an expensive t-shirt. “I am not that late, am I?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Oh, umm, no, I just- I just fancied an early night, heh. Did you have a good time out with everyone?”
“I did, thank you!” Francine replied. “I got to know Zoe and Natalie more, and learned about the Sunday morning dance class, which I hope I will go to this week!”
“Yep, well, I’m not back at work until Monday, so I should be able to go too,” Sophie said, smiling as she remembered the last time she went to the class, and the big, fancy tutu she was coerced into wearing- not that Sophie needed much coercing. However, the day’s events had made Sophie wonder just how her parents would react to the sight of their ‘son’ in a big, fancy tutu.
“Really?” Francine asked. “You dance too?”
“Well… Yes and no,” Sophie replied. “I’m really not much of a dancer at all, it’s more just an exercise class, only wearing tights. Though we don’t even wear them in this weather. Mostly, it’s just an opportunity to hang out with friends, as a lot of us have flights on Saturdays so would be too tired for a night out, so we can hang out on Sunday mornings instead, when there are fewer flights than normal.” Sophie grimaced as she realised that as she spoke, her roommate may have struggled to keep up with her limited English. “…Ah, sorry Francine, I keep forgetting you’re still learning English, did you get all of that or would you like me to repeat it in French?”
“No, I am okay, I think I understand,” Francine said. “Dancing is less important than friends, and to that I can agree!”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“And I most want to see Amelie try to dance!” Francine giggled. “You will not be surprised when I say she did not enjoy dance classes when we were children.”
“No, that isn’t surprising!” Sophie said with a giggle as her stress levels began to fall.
“It is a surprise how serious many of- umm…” Francine said, before trailing off and grimacing. “I should not say more for it will offend.”
“…Let me guess,” Sophie said softly. “You were surprised by how many transgender girls are serious about their dancing?” Sophie smiled sympathetically as Francine blushed and nodded. “It’s okay, I’m not offended by that, even I am in the ‘doesn’t really take it seriously’ group, heh.”
“Merci,” Francine whispered. “But at dinner Natalie tells me she can dance en pointe for three years, and has even danced in a show, but does not even take, umm, oestrogène.”
“No reason why any girls, especially girls like us, shouldn’t want to do that,” Sophie shrugged. “There aren’t many things as graceful and feminine as ballet, and it helps with things like posture, after all.” Sophie smirked as she thought about how two years ago, she’d heard a similar explanation from one of her then-new friends. Back then, Sophie had been just as sceptical as Francine seemed to be, but over time, spending her Sunday mornings in a leotard and a pair of dance slippers had grown as normal to Sophie as brushing her teeth- or, for that matter, brushing out her long, feminine hair, or applying make-up, or painting her nails…
“…Sophie?” Francine asked, frowning as her new roommate appeared lost in thought.
“Hmm?” Sophie asked, shaking her head as she was snapped out of her reverie. “Oh, umm, sorry Francine, I just- ehh, never mind, not important. I just- I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”
“Is it anything where I can help?” Francine asked in a sympathetic voice, bringing a smile to Sophie’s lips.
“I doubt it,” Sophie sighed, before a thought flashed in her mind. “Though actually… Francine, if- if you don’t mind me asking, how- how exactly did your father take the news that you were moving to London for a year?”
“…To be true, he had no problem with it,” Francine replied. “It was for him a surprise, and he was unhappy to begin, but he said that I am an adult, and it should be my choice.”
“I suppose there’s no arguing with that,” Sophie mused. “I’m just asking ‘cause- ugh. You know the history between me and my parents, right?”
“You have said some things, yes,” Francine replied. “Most for about how they do not know about, umm, why you, umm…”
“Why I haven’t abandoned life as ‘Sophie’,” the English woman sighed. “Well, yep. And- ugh. I think the time has finally come to tell them. Then again, I’ve thought that for the last eighteen months, heh. But, well, I’m going to see them tomorrow, and Hayley and Amy are coming with me, so- yeah.”
“Well, I will say good luck,” Francine said softly. “Were that I not at work, I would go too.”
“…You’ve only known me a few days,” Sophie retorted.
“But that is long enough for you to be my friend,” Francine said with a warm smile. “I have learned more in this flat than I have at work, most about what real friends are.”
“Of course,” Sophie whispered as she remembered Francine’s tales of the sycophants that were her school ‘friends’. “Well, I’ll let you know how it went, heh. But I’m planning on going up there first thing tomorrow morning, hence the early night.”
“Oui,” Francine said. “And as I am in work tomorrow, I should get an early night too!”
“Good idea,” Sophie chuckled, smiling as she rolled over in bed to face away from Francine as she changed.
“Sophie,” Francine asked hesitantly as she pulled on her casual (but still designer) nightdress, “do you know where is the girl who used to sleep in this room?”
“Who, Rachel?” Sophie asked in reply. “Umm, I know she’s living with her parents again, I think she’s working in an office in the city somewhere, why do you ask?”
“I would like to meet her, some time,” Francine replied in an uncharacteristically stoic voice.
“Umm, okay,” Sophie said. “She used to be a regular at the Sunday morning dance classes, but I don’t think she’s been since she- well, since she left the airline. I could drop her a text and ask if she wants to come along this Sunday, if you’d like?”
“Please,” Francine said. “I wish to apologise to her.”
“A- apologise?” Sophie said with shock. “What for? You’ve never even met her.”
“No, but I know how she was treated by my father’s company,” Francine whispered. “No woman should have to experience what she did, or be treated the way she was afterwards. My father would not apologise, but I have his surname, and the name ‘Masson’ is not only about money, it should be about, umm…”
“Responsibility?” Sophie asked, smiling as Francine nodded.
“In France, there is a saying ‘noblesse oblige’,” the teenager said.
“It’s one we use over here, too,” Sophie said softly. “Though I suppose in your case it’d be less ‘noblesse’ and more, umm, ‘billionairesse’?” Sophie smiled as Francine nodded again.
“It is a saying my father does not always follow,” Francine said. “But even after they were not married, my mother would always teach me that I should feel lucky to be my father’s daughter. She would also say to Amelie.”
“Amelie… Doesn’t seem to have listened as closely as you did,” Sophie mused.
“Au contraire,” Francine chuckled. “She has a kind heart and wants to help people. She just does it in angry ways.”
“Well- I suppose,” Sophie said. “I mean, I do like her, I just- sometimes I think she gets off on pissing off her dad. Your dad, I mean.”
“Maybe,” Francine replied with a shrug. “And I will admit, when she first told us she was loving another woman, I thought it was to, as you say, piss off our father. But her love for Ellen is very real, as is our father’s love for Amelie, despite how much she might try to piss him off.”
“I- I suppose,” Sophie said as she contemplated whether or not her parents would have the same kind of unconditional love for her when she came out to them- or rather, IF she came out to them…
Sophie didn't sleep much that night, and when she did, it was only for brief periods at a time, but she was still woken the following morning by the sound of Francine getting ready for her day of work.
“Mmph,” Sophie moaned as she opened her eyes, only to clamp them shut again when she saw her teenaged roommate in a state of total undress.
“Ah, good morning Sophie!” Francine giggled. “I am sorry if I woke you up.”
“No- no, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- well, peeked…” Sophie mumbled.
“Why apologise?” Francine shrugged. “I have changed in front of other girls many times before.”
“Yeah, but-“ Sophie said, before grinning. “Touché.”
“I hope it goes well for you today with your parents,” Francine said with a warm, friendly smile.
“Yeah, well, if it goes AT ALL it’ll be a miracle,” Sophie sighed. “I- I still don’t know what I’m going to do, ugh. I mean, today’s the best chance that I’ve ever had, but- I dunno. I’m stuck with this problem that once I’ve done it, I can’t take it back, and I- am I going too fast for you again?”
“Only for that it is 7am,” Francine replied with a giggle as she finished dressing and brushed out her long brown hair. “Take care today, Sophie. I have never slept in a room with anyone- well, another girl before, and I think I am enjoying it, so I hope it can continue tonight.”
“Thanks,” Sophie chuckled. “I’ll let you know too if I hear back from Rachel.”
“Merc- thank you,” Francine whispered, before giggling as she leaned in to give her roommate a gentle hug. “I must go to the airport now, but I shall think of you today at work. Good luck, my friend!”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered, sighing as the French girl released the hug and let her flop back down into her bed.
Sophie spent the next 45 minutes trying futilely to get back to sleep, but as helpful as they were no doubt intended to be, Francine’s words only served to make Sophie more stressed out. With a long, frustrated moan, Sophie dragged her tired body out of bed and through to the living area of the flat, where she was surprised to find her other two flatmates were already not just awake, but dressed and made-up ready for the day ahead.
“Ah, good morning!” Hayley giggled, before practically forcing Sophie down onto the sofa and placing a hot mug of coffee in her hands. “All ready for today?”
“What’s there to be ready for?” Sophie replied with a shrug. “I’m just going to see my parents, which I’ve done hundreds of times before.”
“Yeah- cut the crap, Soph, this is us you’re talking to, remember?” Amy said.
“…Yeah, okay,” Sophie sighed. “But seriously, you two don’t have to come along if you don’t want to, I-“
“We want to,” Hayley firmly interrupted.
“…I don’t even know if today will be the day that I do come out,” Sophie sighed. “You’d be surprised by the number of times I’ve gone to see my parents with the intention of coming out, only to chicken out at the last minute.”
“Yeah… I doubt I’d be THAT surprised,” Hayley retorted. “Seriously, Soph, every day- every single day- after my dad came out, I thought about coming out too, I thought about how I’d say it, what I’d say, what I’d wear, even what body language I’d use. It dominated my brain for literally every waking second, and- and I think that’s the same for you, isn’t it?” Hayley and Amy both smiled sympathetically as their friend nodded and blinked back a tear.
“And if you don’t come out today, that’s okay too,” Amy said softly. “It would be so, so wrong of us to force you. But we’ll be there for you either way. Assuming, of course, you want us to go along?”
“If anything will make the difference this time, it’s you two,” Sophie chuckled. “Even if, umm, you know…”
“I’m going to have to pretend to be madly in love with you?” Amy asked with a tired but still playful sigh.
“Sure, ‘pretend’,” Hayley teased, giggling as Amy gave her a soft punch in her arm.
“Not the time OR the place,” the ginger haired girl growled.
“Sorry, sorry,” Hayley chuckled. “So… Have you decided what you’re going to wear?”
“…’James’s clothes,” Sophie sighed. “Much as I want to go as- well, as ‘me’, heh, I- I should probably, you know, ease them in gently.”
“Probably wise,” Amy said softly. “And I know you probably haven’t, but have you- have you told Dr Phillips what you’re going to do today?”
“I don’t see her again until Tuesday, so no,” Sophie replied. “Yes, yes, I know, I should’ve emailed her, but- ugh. Didn’t want to send her another email- yet another email saying I’d chickened out. Again…”
“Well- who needs her when you’ve got us, right?” Hayley asked, smiling as her friend nodded.
“Right,” Sophie said, taking several deep breaths to psyche herself up, although on the inside, her nerves were more shredded than ever…
Just over an hour later, ‘James’ felt ‘him’self shaking with nerves as ‘he’ stood at his parents’ front gate. His face and fingernails had been scrubbed clean of any and all cosmetics, his shoulder-length hair was combed back into an androgynous style and covering his body was a very plain grey polo shirt and pair of dark jeans. It was exactly how ‘he’ had looked every day for the first 23 years of his life, and yet he’d never felt so naked. There was no trace of ‘Sophie’s identity anywhere on his body for the first time in months, and he felt bereft, as though he was buried in his own body, his own clothes- or even ‘his’ own identity. The closer he got to his parent’s front door, the more he found himself yearning to run back home and put on some make-up, or a loose summer dress or a short denim skirt.
“Actually,” James said, “you know what, maybe I should just-“
“You’ve come this far,” Amy gently advised her friend. “We’re here to help you take the last few steps if you need us.”
“…You may need to carry me,” James mumbled.
“Then we’ll carry you,” Hayley whispered. “No matter what happens today, we will still be Team ASH. Forever, right?”
“Forever,” James said with a defiant nod, before taking a deep breath and letting himself into his parents’ house. “Mum? Are you in?”
“James!” The young man’s mother said, emerging from the kitchen with a smile on her face, which turned into a confused grin when she saw the two women flanking her son. “Oh, um, hello! I’m assuming one of you is Amy? I’m- I’m hoping one of you is Amy…?”
“H- hi, I’m Amy,” the ginger haired girl said, extending her hand for a polite handshake. “This is our flatmate Hayley.”
“Hi, it- it’s nice to finally meet you,” Hayley said softly.
“You too,” Pamela replied, her look of confusion gradually turning into one of concern. “James, you didn’t mention you’d be bringing along two friends?”
“Well, umm, Hayley would’ve been home alone, so- yeah,” Sophie grimaced.
“And are you two both-“ Pamela began, before grimacing and mentally correcting herself. “Umm, employed by the airline too?”
“Umm, yep!” Hayley replied. “I started at the same time as So- umm, as James, Amy started 3 months before us.” James felt his entire body tighten up as Hayley narrowly avoided using his preferred name- in his mind, his 'real' name.
“I see,” Pamela said. “Well, umm, there’s no point standing out here in the hall chatting, why don’t we all go through to the living room and get sat down?”
“That sounds great,” Amy whispered, practically having to drag James through the living room door.
“James, why don’t you get your friends a cup of tea?” Pamela asked, making her child scream internally with frustration.
“Oh, I- I’m not thirsty, thanks,” Hayley said, almost as if she could sense her friend’s distress.
“Well, I know I am,” Pamela said. “James?”
“Mum, I- I’m one of them,” James blurted out uncontrollably, before feeling his stomach sink as he could hear his two friends grimace next to him.
“…James?” Pamela asked.
“I- I am transgender,” James said, his voice growing shakier with every word he said. “I mean, I- I wasn’t when I started for the airline, but as time’s gone on, I- I-“ James let out a long sigh and slowly wept as his mother silently approached and wrapped him in a tight, loving, motherly hug.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Pamela whispered. “And what you just said, that- that’s okay as well.”
“Wh- what?” James asked.
“Honestly, your father and I have been expecting you to tell us something like this eventually,” Pamela said. “When you didn’t leave the airline after six months, like you said you would, we thought there might be something, but we didn’t want to assume, but as time went on…”
“I- I’m sorry,” James moaned.
“Oh- no, for god’s sake, don’t be sorry!” Pamela said firmly. “You’re 25 years old, you’re your own- heh. I was going to say ‘you’re your own man’, but I suppose that would be an inappropriate thing to say under the circumstances, heh.”
“Well- maybe,” James sighed as he flopped down onto the sofa. “I mean, I- ugh. It’s not like I don’t ever want to be ‘James’ again, I mean, but- but I don’t ever want it to be the case that I can’t ever be- well…”
“Go on,” Pamela said softly.
“…I don’t ever want to lose the ability to be ‘Sophie’,” Pamela’s child said softly.
“Is- is that the name you chose for yourself?” Pamela asked, smiling as her child nodded and continued to weep. “I like it. And I’m sure your father will too.”
“You- you really don’t mind, then?” Sophie asked.
“Why would we mind?” Pamela replied. “Like I said, it’s your life, you should be free to live it the way you want.”
“A- and dad?” Sophie asked.
“Your father feels the same way,” Pamela reassured her child. “Again, like I said, we’ve had our suspicions for a while, but you’re our child, what you’ve done is nothing wrong, and we will love you and support your decision for as long as we can.”
“Th- thank you,” Sophie said, letting out a long sigh as she felt her entire body decompress.
Sophie had been so worried for so long about how her parents would react to her news, that it had never occurred to her that they might simply accept her for who she is. She had been so obsessed with the many worst-case scenarios that ran through her mind that she had barely even thought about any best-case scenarios, and as she sat on her mother’s sofa, she wondered why she had been so worried in the first place… And then she remembered the two best friends sat alongside her. She remembered that while Amy’s parents had been just as open and loving as her own turned out to be, her ex-partner had forced her to lie to her child, to deny being their parent, with all the stress that brought to the usually ebullient girl. Sophie remembered how Hayley’s family had disowned her to the point where she’d been run out of town, and how it had taken years to recover to the point where her sister could even stand to be in the same city as her. Sophie remembered her friend and colleague Annabelle, and the nightmarish stories she’d heard about her time in so-called ‘conversion therapy’. She remembered her former colleague Anna-Jade's tales of growing up in a conservative Catholic household in Northern Ireland. And she remembered the many, many tales she'd catalogued for her book. Sophie quickly realised that she had been extremely fortunate with the way her parents had accepted her, and while she was relieved, she was also angry- angry that any transgender woman, or for that matter, any non-gender confirming person should have to worry or even panic about how their family would react to their coming out. However, there was something that Sophie could do, and indeed was doing about it.
“I- I’m writing another book,” Sophie explained after composing herself. “One that looks at gender and gender identities from different perspectives.”
“Well, I can’t think of anyone better qualified to write that book than you!” Pamela chuckled.
“Yeah,” Sophie said with a chuckle. “And I- I’d like you and dad to contribute to it, if that’s okay?”
“Well- of course,” Pamela said. “Anything to help with your career. I assume that this time, it will be published in your name, right?”
“Absolutely it will,” Sophie replied. “Maybe even in both names, heh.”
“’James’ and ‘Sophie’?” Pamela asked, smiling as her child nodded. “I guess we’ll have to get used to that, heh.”
“Heh,” Sophie chuckled. “It took me a while to get used to it, too, but I- I can’t imagine life any other way.”
“Why did you choose’ Sophie’, if you don’t mind me asking?” Pamela asked.
“It was originally just something that couldn’t be traced back to ‘James’,” Sophie replied. “But as time’s gone on, it- it’s just become, you know, me.”
“And are you- are you going to be having the operations?” Pamela asked. “Or taking female hormones?”
“At- at this point in time, no,” Sophie replied. “I’m happy how I am. Well, for now, anyway. Especially now I don’t have to hide anymore, heh.”
“I can imagine,” Pamela said. “Well, actually, come to think of it, I can’t. But I want to learn, for your sake.”
“We’re willing to help as well,” Amy said with a smile. “Tip number one is usually ‘don’t ask about anything medical’ but we’ll give it a pass as Sophie is your daughter, heh.”
“’My daughter’,” Pamela chuckled. “I could definitely get used to that. Thank you, Amy. And thank you for being such a good girlfriend to Ja- to Sophie, heh.”
“Well- thanks,” Amy mumbled. “But, umm, Sophie and I, we- we’re not actually together…”
“Yeah, I- ugh,” Sophie sighed. “I kinda panicked when dad asked about them, like, during the strike, so I- I kinda, well, 'improvised', heh. So- yeah, sorry…”
“Oh,” Pamela said disappointedly. “That is a pity, even after just five minutes I think the two of you would be good for each other. And- well, umm, there’s no delicate way of putting this…”
“Most girls aren’t going to be interested in guys who, well, ‘have the same dress sense as them’,” Sophie sighed. “I get it.”
“Though you are still interested in girls, right?” Pamela asked.
“Tip 2: gender identity and, well, ‘preferences’ aren’t usually linked,” Amy said softly.
“I clearly have a LOT to learn,” Pamela chuckled. “But I will. And I will help in any way I can. Though I still think it’s a pity that the two of you aren’t a couple.” Pamela frowned with confusion as Amy and Sophie both rolled their eyes, while Hayley giggled. “…What?”
“You’re far from the only person who thinks that,” Hayley reassured the older woman. “It’s kind of a running joke, literally all of our friends think they should be a couple. Either that, or secretly already are, heh!”
“Well, we’re not,” Amy said firmly.
“And as it’s our lives, we get the final- no, the only say,” Sophie said.
“As it should be,” Pamela said softly, smiling as she began to see the happiness in her child’s eyes.
The three women stayed at Sophie’s parents’ house for the next 2 hours, catching the older woman up on everything that had happened in Sophie’s life, on her work, both with the airline and on the book, on their many friends and parties they’d attended, and even the Sunday morning dance classes. Sophie’s father returned for the last half hour of the visit, and didn’t hesitate to offer the same level of support that Pamela had, and by the time Sophie left the house, the euphoria she felt meant that she felt like she was floating.
“…Gonna be a bit less panicky now?” Amy teased her friend as they made their way back to the tube station.
“Definitely,” Sophie replied with a tired giggle. “Ugh, I mean, I know it feels like I’ve been panicking about nothing, but- yeah. There was no way of knowing for certain until, well, I, like, ‘yanked off the band-aid’.”
“…Yeah,” Hayley said. “No offence, Soph, but I’ve never known anyone come out before by yelling ‘I’m one of them’.”
“It came as a bit of a surprise to me too,” Amy teased.
“And me!” Sophie laughed. “There was just a part of me that went into autopilot, like, if I didn’t say anything then, I never would.”
“I think I get it,” Hayley said. “God knows when I came out, it felt just as abrupt. I mean, it wasn’t- like, nothing could be THAT abrupt, but- yeah. And I get what you mean about panicking over nothing, as god knows that WASN’T the case for me, heh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie mumbled. “Sorry…”
“Ugh, don’t apologise, for god’s sake,” Hayley sighed. “I’m happy for you, I really am. Though… I just wish it went that easy for every, well, girl like us.”
“Yep,” Amy sighed. “I wish there was, like, something we could do.”
“What, like be ‘transvengers’ or something?” Hayley chuckled. “Though most transphobes aren’t as reasonable as Thanos, heh.”
“There is something I can do,” Sophie said bluntly. “My book. I can use it to hopefully open a few eyes, if not minds.”
“True,” Amy said. “But, you know, playing devil’s advocate for a second, your book- it isn’t really going to be, you know, an objective thing, is it?”
“Well, what’s there to be objective about?” Sophie retorted with a shrug. “Like my mum said: our lives, our choices. THAT is what people need to understand. That it has nothing to do with them how we live our lives.”
“You go, girl!” Hayley cheered, grinning as Sophie let out an appreciative smile. “And in the meantime, though?”
“In the meantime,” Sophie replied. “How about tonight, Team ASH gets glammed up in our best dresses, our best make-up and we hit the town?”
“You’re on!” Amy giggled in reply. “As long as we bring Francine along too?”
“Well, obviously!” Sophie replied. “We want to make her feel like one of the girls, don’t we?”
“Totally,” Hayley giggled.
“And speaking of ‘one of the girls’,” Sophie said, “I really need to get home and change into a summer dress, hehe!”
“Atta girl!” Hayley cheered as the three women made their way back home.
Later that night, Team ASH, accompanied by not just Francine but also Amelie, Ellen, Natalie and Zoe hit the clubs of London and partied until their feet were sore from all the dancing they did in their expensive high-heeled shoes. They celebrated not just Sophie’s successful coming out, but the completion of Francine’s first week with the airline, Hayley’s reconciliation with her sister and most of all, their continued friendship. Even though Amy had no reason to celebrate, she was nonetheless happy for her friends and had just as much fun as everyone else on the night out- with the exception of Sophie. For the first time in two years, Sophie felt truly free to be the person they wanted to be- or, as it turned out, the woman she wanted to be. Questions about hormones and surgeries could wait for another time- all Sophie wanted to do was celebrate before restarting her work on the book that she hoped would bring the happiness that she felt to as many people as possible.
The following Sunday morning, the eight women who had been on the night out dragged their tired bodies to the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance, where much to everyone’s delight, there were a few other people already waiting for them.
“Hey Rachel!” Sophie said to her 20-year-old former flatmate as they greeted each other with a gentle hug.
“Hey Soph!” Rachel Lyscombe replied with a quiet giggle. “I saw your Facebook update the other day- congratulations!”
“Thank you,” Sophie said with a warm smile. “I will admit, I did lose a few friends from school after typing that, but- all of my REAL friends are right here, right now. Speaking of which, Rachel, I’d like you to meet Francine Masson. Francine, meet Rachel Lyscombe.”
“It is a pleasure,” Francine said with a sad smile as she gave the blonde girl a polite handshake.
“I’ll let you two talk,” Sophie said as she straightened her tight dance leotard and headed over to where Zoe and Natalie were talking with Amelie and Ellen. “Couldn’t persuade your sister to come along then, Zoe?”
“Ugh, I would find it easier to pull teeth,” the French dance teacher replied. “But maybe one day. She will not know whether she likes it until she tries.”
“Yep, that’s true,” Sophie said with a wistful smile. “And I can speak from experience there, heh!”
“Oh?” Zoe teased. “Are you speaking of your big day on Friday, or are you finally going to let me teach you for pointe shoes?”
“Well- Friday,” Sophie replied. “Though if the other offer’s still on the table…”
“Honestly, Soph, don’t do it,” Ellen chuckled. “Your feet will never be the same again.”
“Maybe not,” Sophie shrugged. “Maybe they’ll be better!”
“That is the spirit!” Zoe chuckled as she lined her students up at the barre and prepared to begin the class.
As Sophie ran through her stretches, she once again wondered on how her life would’ve been if she had never taken Rachel up on her offer. She’d still have been a journalist, would still have had hobbies and friends, but without any doubt, Sophie knew her life as a whole would have been worse. By taking the plunge into womanhood, Sophie had unlocked for herself a new world she barely knew existed- and a newer, better version of herself that she never knew existed. And without the stress of worrying what her parents would think, Sophie was free to explore, in her own terms, what being a woman truly meant to her. And yet, she knew that every day she grew closer to finishing her book, was another day closer to her employment with the airline- and possibly her network of friends- ending forever…
“Umf,” Sophie grunted as her eyes slowly opened and she found herself in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. “He- hello?”
“Ah, bonjour!” The familiar voice of Sophie’s roommate replied with an excited squeak that made Sophie wince.
“Not so loud, please!” Sophie groaned as the throbbing in her head intensified. “What time is it, anyway?”
“Time for you to be getting out of bed,” Francine replied in an authoritative voice. “Today is a big day!”
“Well- yeah, I guess,” Sophie chuckled as she slowly slid out of bed and stretched her aching muscles. “It was a big night last night too, heh!” Sophie grinned despite her hangover as memories of the previous night came flooding back.
Sophie, Francine and several of their friends and colleagues had spent the evening in many of London's fanciest nightclubs, drinking, dancing and most importantly celebrating the love of two of Sophie’s best friends. While all the women on the night out- Sophie included- wore short, tight clubbing dresses, a ton of make-up and sky-high stilettos, Amelie and Ellen also wore pink and silver sashes that read ‘Bride to be’, while Sophie’s and five of her friends wore sashes that read ‘Bridesmaid’. Sophie had initially been shocked when Amelie had asked her to be a bridesmaid, but had eagerly accepted, not least when the Frenchwoman had shown her the design she had chosen for her bridesmaids’ dresses. What excited Sophie the most about being a bridesmaid, though, wasn’t the dress, or the hen night or even the wedding itself- it was the acceptance. Regardless of Sophie's 'circumstances', Amelie had unconditionally accepted her as a woman, as had Francine, Ellen and countless other friends... and so had Sophie's parents.
Since coming out to her parents, Sophie had felt like a completely new person- a person who felt like they’d been freed from the shackles of ‘conventional’ gender, whether that gender was male or female. Sophie could be the person they wanted to be- whether that was ‘he’, ‘she’, a mix of both genders or something else entirely. She no longer needed to hide the person she’d become from anyone- and yet, she still felt a sense of anxiety. Her second book was nearing its completion, and even though her new manager sympathised with her, Sophie knew that life as a stewardess would be incompatible with life as the writer she dreamed of being. To be able to continue living as the woman she wanted to be, Sophie would be forced to walk away from the world that had enabled her to be a woman in the first place. A world that included her best friends- friends who she wanted to help with her book, but who still struggled in their daily lives. Every time Sophie thought about how well her life was going, she felt guilty about how Amy was forced to deny her relationship to her own daughter, or how Hayley's relationship with her family was still fractured. Both women assured Sophie that her friendship was all that they needed and that they were genuinely happy that Sophie had reconciled with her parents, but that just made Sophie more guilty- and would make it all the harder for Sophie to walk away when her book was published.
However, the book’s publication was still months away, and Sophie had plenty to distract herself in the meantime. Christmas was a mere four days away, but even that holiday paled in comparison to the celebration that Sophie was about to get ready for.
“…Very true. Now allons-y!” Francine ordered as she practically shoved Sophie in the direction of the hotel room’s en-suite. As Sophie’s hair and make-up would be applied professionally, all Sophie needed to do was shower and relieve herself, but even that brief time alone was enough for her to be lost in thought again.
The wedding Sophie was about to attend would be the fourth she’d been to in under two years, all of which she’d attended as ‘Sophie’ and all of which were for people who had been complete strangers 24 months earlier, but who had quickly become some of her closest friends. What stood out the most to Sophie, though, was the fact that the previous wedding she’d attended, for her friends Danny and Rachel at the end of November, was the only wedding of the four ceremonies that included a groom.
Ever since becoming ‘Sophie’, her love life had been put on hold. ‘James’ had never had much of a love life to begin with, but had had the occasional 'intimate' relationship with a woman. ‘Sophie’, however, had initially felt that her 'status' meant that no woman would even look at her. Any girl going out with 'James' would also have to accept 'Sophie', and any girl going out with 'Sophie' would have to accept 'James', and Sophie felt that the likelihood of finding such a woman was slim to none. However, as she witnessed the clear love that Zoe had for Natalie, or Jessica and Paige’s mutual love, it made Sophie more and more confident that there might be a woman out there for both her and ‘James’- and if she was going to find her anywhere, it would be at the airline. However, Sophie wasn’t desperate for a relationship, no matter how many of her friends were finding love- or how many of them continued to tease both her and Amy about their ‘relationship’. Sophie had been blessed with dozens of friends she could truly call her own, and the two brides-to-be were among her best friends. Regardless of Sophie's own love life- or lack thereof- she vowed to do everything within her power to make their special day the most special of all time.
“At last!” Francine teased as Sophie emerged from the en-suite, clad in just her cache sex thong. “Are you less ill after that?”
“Erm, a bit, thanks!” Sophie replied with a chuckle.
“Bon,” Francine said, grinning devilishly as she picked a garment off of her bed that made Sophie groan. “Oh, now be nice! Did you not wear these for many months when working for my father?”
“Yes, and I hoped I’d seen the last of them,” Sophie sighed as she took the waist cincher from her friend and fastened it around her midsection. “And why is your sister, the most feminist woman on the planet, insisting that her bridesmaids all wear corsets anyway?”
“Just to be sure we are the same centimetres as when we first wore the dresses,” Francine replied. “Amelie wants for the wedding to be la perfection .”
“Just like any bride,” Sophie mused, wincing as Francine pulled the laces on the corset.
“Oui,” Francine said. “But with Amelie there is one more thing. She wants for our papa to know that her love for Ellen is real.”
“…Your father still doesn’t believe Amelie?” Sophie asked gently, sighing as the young Frenchwoman shook her head.
“He believes that Amelie is, ugh, what is the word…” Francine sighed. “That she- that she fakes her love, so to make him angry. And…” Sophie frowned as her roommate trailed off, her cheeks starting to flush.
“And…?” Sophie asked.
“Ugh,” Francine spat. “And- and that she did choose to marry in London and not Paris to make him angry. And- and she did choose her demoiselles d'honneur to make him angry as well.”
“…Oh,” Sophie mumbled. “By which I assume you mean picking me and Paige as bridesmaids, rather than just you?”
“Our papa believes Amelie should choose Veronique, our demi-soeur,” Francine said as she finished tying her friend’s corset before slipping on her own. “But you should not worry, Sophie. He will not make, umm, make….”
“…Make a scene?” Sophie said as she fastened a pair of nude stockings to the garters hanging from her waist cincher.
“Oui,” Francine whispered. “As many of his business partners will be here today, he would not wish to offend them. Those who would not be offended by, well…”
“A same-sex wedding where four out of 6 bridesmaids are transgender?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as Francine nodded.
“When Veronique married,” Francine explained, “there were many there from Russia, Qatar, Dubai… She married four years ago, our papa wished to use the wedding to speak to people for maybe business in the countries, most for the Coupes du Monde in Russia and Qatar.”
“I thought I saw a few advertising boards for the company at the World Cup last summer,” Sophie mused.
“He was very happy that the team and the coupe too went back to Paris on his plane,” Francine said. “A flight with no transgender girls working, too. Our papa actually worries that Amelie’s wedding will hurt him being friends with who Amelie calls ‘Le Petit Connard Russe’.”
“Comrade Putin?” Sophie asked, smirking as her friend nodded. “I mean, I don’t want the guy to go bankrupt, but on your daughter’s wedding day, I’d have hoped he’d be more concerned with her feelings than those of the president of Russia, or the Emir of Dubai or whoever…”
“That is why we need to show our papa that the love is true,” Francine said as she and Sophie pulled on fluffy bathrobes and soft slippers, before padding out of their room to the room where Amelie’s other bridesmaid was waiting for them.
“Hey you two!” Paige said with an excited giggle as she gave Sophie and Francine a gentle hug each. “Today’s the big day!”
“For certain!” Francine giggled. “Where is my sister, please?” The three bridesmaids all grimaced as they heard a loud retching noise come from the room’s en-suite.
“…Hangover?” Sophie asked.
“I think it’s more nerves,” Paige said, glancing over at Francine, who simply nodded and headed to the en-suite to comfort her sister, leaving Sophie alone with the Scottish woman.
“So… How’s life in ‘la grosse pomme’, then?” Sophie teased, smirking as Paige giggled and rolled her eyes.
“Tres bien,” Paige replied with a smile. “I still sometimes miss London, but then again I miss Paris too, and I miss Scotland more, so- yeah. But really, nowhere I’d rather be, and no one I’d rather be with.”
“You’ve been giving words of advice to Amelie about marital bliss, then?” Sophie asked.
“I’ve been giving it to anyone who’ll listen,” Paige chuckled. “Honestly, me and Jess are doing great, never been better.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Sophie said. “How long are you in London for?”
“Flying back tomorrow,” Paige sighed. “It’s Jess’s brother’s birthday on Monday, and we always make a fuss of him, meaning we’re always in Baltimore for Christmas too, so- yeah. Dunno when we’ll be back in the UK. Actually, come tae think of it, I think this wedding is the last of the Tutu Project’s, isn’t it?”
“I think so, yep,” Sophie sighed. “Still, more time in America gives you time to perfect your accent. I didn’t realise you took Jess’s accent as well as her surname?”
“Oh- get tae!” Paige snorted, giving Sophie a playful slap in her arm. “You live in a place long enough with someone, you’re bound to, you know, pick up the accent a little…”
“So… How long before Amelie sounds like an extra from Coronation Street, then?” Sophie asked, making her Scottish friend giggle as the two Frenchwomen emerged from the en-suite, Amelie looking considerably the worse for wear.
“Hey,” Paige whispered softly. “Are you okay?”
“Ou- oui,” Amelie replied with a nervous nod of her head. “I am fine. I shall be better once today is over.”
“Really?” Sophie asked innocently. “You just want to rush through your wedding day?” Sophie flinched as the bride-to-be regarded her with an angry glare, before sighing.
“If today was just for me and Ellen, then no, I would want to enjoy every second,” Amelie said. “But I- I am afraid that our father will cause a scene, or he will invite an Arab or a Russian businessman who will make a show of walking out, or- ugh. Or that Ellen will decide that she does not want to marry me after all…”
“Why- why on Earth would you ever think that?” Sophie asked gently. “You know how much Ellen loves you. I mean, at your birthday party last week, she never left your side.”
“I know,” Amelie whispered. “But I- ugh! After all that I have done, all that I have said to my father and about my father, I- heh. I think his testament, for his death, will have changed. And marrying a woman when he is trying to be friends with businessmen from Arab states or Russia, it- heh. I am happy to be poor with Ellen. I would prefer that to being rich and living with one of the friends of my brothers, or with a husband my father chose for me, or- or with any husband.”
“And I have told you many times,” Francine said, taking her sister’s hand in hers. “Our papa only wants for you to be happy. And you are happy with Ellen, are you not?”
“Of course,” Amelie replied angrily, before sighing. “I- I do, really, I do, but- ugh. At first, maybe, perhaps I wanted to make our father angry, and I dated what I knew he would most hate, but I- I love Ellen. She is funny, she is kind, she is very, very beautiful… I cannot imagine marrying anyone else, no matter how rich or poor we are.” Sophie bit her lip as she listened to her friend talk- she knew that Amelie had always been more than content to spend her father's money when it was available to her, so doubted whether Amelie could tolerate being 'poor' by any definition of the word. However, Sophie also conceded that given the choice of being 'rich' or 'poor', almost everyone would choose 'rich'- herself included.
“Then what more is to be said?” Francine asked. “And for more, if you stopped the wedding it would anger papa. But it would more anger Ellen. And you could not do that to her.”
“Never,” Amelie whispered.
“Take it from someone who learned the hard way,” Paige whispered as she gave Amelie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “When you know it’s right, don’t hesitate. Don’t think ‘yeah, but what if this or that happened', not if you’re certain that you love her.”
“Merci,” Amelie whispered, before taking a deep breath. “So, when is our hair and make-up to be done?” The four assembled women let out an excited squeak as they awaited the arrival of their beauticians.
A short while later, Amelie and her three bridesmaids exited their suite, nervously awaiting the arrival of the final member of their wedding party. As Sophie looked at the bride, she felt a twinge of envy- her hair and make-up was immaculate, as was the floor-length, cap-sleeved white dress she wore. However, Sophie's own look was far from shabby. Her ever-growing hair had been tied back into a tight French braid, her make-up had been professionally applied and her dress had been designed specifically with her in mind. Like Paige and Francine's dresses, it was blue, had a flared, knee-length skirt, but most importantly, had a high neckline so as to not make Sophie feel self-conscious about her lack of cleavage. When combined with her waist cincher, Sophie had never presented a more feminine figure- not even in her flight attendant uniform. Sophie began to fidget, though, when the smartly dressed middle aged man rounded the corner of the hotel, accompanied by two bodyguards.
“…Pere,” Amelie whispered to the tall man, who glanced coolly at Paige and Sophie.
“Let us talk in private, please,” Monsieur Masson said in his refined Parisian accent.
“I would like them to stay,” Amelie defiantly replied. “They are my demoiselles d'honneur. And my friends.”
“Très bien,” M. Masson said, as Sophie prepared to mentally translate the father and daughter's conversation from French to her native English. “You are aware that I did not approve of this union at first.”
“I am,” Amelie replied in a nervous whisper.
“Out of all my children, you have always been the most trouble,” M. Masson continued, making Sophie fidget- no matter how rich you were, giving your daughter a dressing down on her wedding day was simply unacceptable. “We have disagreed our whole lives on what was best for you. But where we have always agreed was that I wanted you to be happy. Does this woman truly make you happy?”
“Her name is Ellen,” Amelie replied. “You should learn it, she will be your daughter-in-law.”
“…Yes, of course,” M. Masson mumbled.
“And yes, yes she does,” Amelie said. “I adore Ellen. And I wish to spend the rest of my life with her. If that means that you will no longer financially support me, then so be it.”
“I would never, ever cut you off financially,” M. Masson sighed, clearly offended by the insinuation. “You are still my daughter, no matter how much we argue. I love you, Amelie. And if Ellen makes you happy then I will gladly accept her as my daughter-in-law. And offer you whatever support you need, financially or otherwise.”
“…Thank you,” Amelie mumbled, her body language more subdued, more submissive than Sophie had ever seen from the young Frenchwoman.
“Even if this way, I may have fewer grandchildren than I expected!” M. Masson said, sharing a chuckle with his daughter, who smiled as she took her father's arm. As she followed the bridal party, Sophie mused on how easy the Massons’ reconciliation had been, but realised that there would likely have been many conversations between the pair that she hadn't been privy to. Sophie found herself wondering whether or not her own father would walk her down the aisle when she got married- something that had seemed unthinkable as little as a few months earlier but was now a possibility for Sophie. Assuming she could find anyone willing to marry her while she wore a wedding dress…
The hotel conference room that Ellen and Amelie had chosen for the wedding ceremony was vast, but still crammed full of the women’s family and friends, along with a handful of businessmen and dignitaries that had been invited by Amelie's father. Sniffles could be heard throughout the room as the two women exchanged their vows in English and in French, and when the humanist minister declared them married, loud cheers and applause went up from everyone assembled- including, to the surprise of many, from Monsieur Masson. As Sophie stood waiting while the photographs were being taken, she allowed herself to become lost in thought before she was interrupted by one of the other bride’s bridesmaids.
“Hey,” Natalie said, momentarily startling Sophie. “You okay?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied. “Umm, yeah, fine. Yourself?”
“I just saw my little sister marry the girl of her dreams,” Natalie replied with a chuckle. “I’m doing fine, yeah! And I’m stood here wearing a bridesmaid’s dress in the right colour, heh!”
“If you say so,” Sophie said with a derisive snort of laughter as Natalie playfully swished her sky-blue gown. “Nice beehive by the way, Dusty.”
“Ah- yeah…” Natalie said with a sigh as she adjusted the hair that had been teased high atop her head. “The things we do for family, heh. Still, I’m stood less than 20 feet away from my dad while dressed like this, so I can’t complain, heh!”
“I know the feeling,” Sophie mused.
“I know you do,” Natalie said softly. “Would I be right in assuming that this is your first bridesmaid’s dress, though?”
“Well- yeah,” Sophie chuckled. “Hopefully not the last, heh. Though I was really surprised when Amelie asked me, you know? I mean, Ellen has both her sisters as her bridesmaids, right?”
“You’ve done a lot for Amelie over the last couple of years,” Natalie said. “For all of us, actually. I know better than anyone how not having, well, the ‘chemistry’ can sometimes make a person feel like an outsider in this community. I hope you don’t feel that way, Sophie.”
“Not anymore,” Sophie replied with a smile. “Tutu for life?”
“Too right,” Natalie said with a wide grin. “Where are the rest of the Project today, anyway? Thought there’d be more here from the airline.”
“On the last Saturday before Christmas?” Sophie retorted. “It HAS been a while since you left the airline, heh.”
“Heh, touché,” Natalie chuckled.
“I think everyone who’s back in time will be here for the reception, though,” Sophie said. “I know Amy will be, I think she’s just got back actually as she was only in Paris today. Hayley was in Madrid, so she’s got a bit further to fly back.”
“Ah, the famous Team ASH!” Natalie teased, giggling as Sophie blushed. “Oh, don’t look so coy, I think it’s a cute nickname. Heh, people still call me, Zoe, Jess and Paige the ‘four nations’, heh. And you know what? I’m proud of that. Even though I don’t work for the airline anymore- heh, none of us do, come to think about it- there’s still a sisterhood there that I’m proud to be a part of.”
“Definitely,” Sophie said. “And it’s good to know that sisterhood will be there even after I leave the airline, heh.”
“Second book nearly done?” Natalie whispered, smiling sympathetically as her friend nodded. “I’m sure it’ll sell millions, heh. Definitely enough to make up for the lost income from the airline, heh.”
“Fingers crossed,” Sophie said, before grinning as the photographs finished and the wedding party was ushered to the dinner tables that had been laid out for them.
After a filling gourmet meal prepared by one of Paris's most exclusive chefs and the traditional speeches, including a more moving speech than anyone was expecting from Amelie’s father, the tables were cleared away to allow the newlyweds to share their first dance as a married couple. Sophie found herself captivated as the two women swayed to the music, allowing herself to be caught up in the moment to the extent that she didn’t even notice when the music finished and the dancefloor began to fill, while the married couple made their way over to where she was sat.
“Yoo-hoo!” Ellen cooed, derailing Sophie’s train of thought as she snapped her fingers in front of her. “Earth to Soph?”
“Hmm?” Sophie replied, momentarily startled by the northern woman’s teasing. “Ugh, sorry Ellen, you- you were great out there, both of you.”
“Thank you,” Ellen said with a smug grin that was shared by her new wife. “You not dancing yourself then?”
“Ah- nah,” Sophie replied with a shake of her head. “Two left feet crammed into uncomfortable shoes, heh.”
“Well, we will not force you,” Amelie said with a gentle smile. “The whole theme of this wedding could be ‘do what you like doing and not what you do not like doing’, heh.”
“I guess,” Sophie said as she took a sip of her champagne.
“But with that in mind,” Ellen said, taking a deep, nervous breath. “We- we both wanted to ask you something. It’s something that we’ve been thinking about for a while, and we thought that today- well, now, actually- would be the best time to ask you. We- erm, I mean, will you- like, ugh, what’s the best way to word this…”
“We- we would like your sperm,” Amelie said bluntly, making Sophie nearly drop her drink.
“I- I’m sorry, what?” Sophie asked.
“You heard what my father said before the ceremony,” Amelie said. “How he wished that we could give him grandchildren. Well, we both also wish to become mothers one day. Not soon, but some day. And for that, obviously, we need sperm.”
“…MY sperm?” Sophie asked.
“You were the best choice,” Ellen shrugged. “You’re a close friend- close enough to be a bridesmaid, for crying out loud- you’re trustworthy, intelligent… And, well, from a practicality standpoint, you- you’re, well…”
“Still 100% ‘chemically male’?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as Ellen blushed and nodded.
“I know that taking oestrogen doesn’t automatically mean that a trans woman’s going to go sterile overnight, or even eventually,” Ellen said. “But if we’re going to go down the IVF route, well, we need to give ourselves the best possible chance.”
“Well- what about your sister’s sperm?” Sophie asked, musing on how ‘ordinary’ it felt to say such an otherwise unusual phrase.
“…Well, for one thing, I’M the one who’s going to carry the baby,” Ellen replied, making Sophie blush. “So, well, ew, but also… Nat really, REALLY wants a kid. Even if I wasn’t carrying the baby, it just wouldn’t be fair on her for her to see her kid all the time being paraded around as her nephew or niece.”
“Well- okay then,” Sophie said with a sigh. “I would be honoured to, well, ‘donate’, heh.” The euphemism caused the three brown-haired women shared an excited giggle.
“Obviously we shall not need it immediately,” Amelie said. “I am only twenty-two- only just twenty-two, hehe! And Ellen is only twenty-four so she shall be the same. But it can be frozen for when we need it.”
“Thank you so, so much for this,” Ellen said softly. “It really means a lot to us. Heh, not sure how we’re going to repay you for it but we- we’ll find a way.”
“Especially if I am to not lose my father’s money,” Amelie said with a sly grin. “But you must now excuse us, for we have a tradition to do!” Sophie grinned as Francine and Sasha approached the table and handed Amelie and Ellen respectively their bouquets, before accompanying Sophie to the centre of the room where the rest of the single women were gathered.
“Okay!” Ellen said as she was helped onto a table by her older brother. “Keep it clean, I don’t want any of you ladies going home in an ambulance. Or worse yet, with a ruined dress!” Sophie smirked as she lined up at the back of the huddle, before watching as Ellen threw her bouquet over her shoulder. Sophie made a half-hearted attempt to reach for it but stood back when she saw it wasn't heading toward her, instead smiling as it landed in the hands of one of Amelie’s cousins.
“My turn now!” Amelie giggled as her new brother-in-law helped her onto the table. “On trois! Ready? Un, deux, trois!” Sophie watched again as the bouquet flew away from her, but her jaw dropped and her heart started to beat faster when she saw whose hands it landed in.
“W- wow, okay then!” The quiet voice of Rachel Lyscombe said, giggling nervously as she posed for a photograph with the bouquet before handing it back to an attendant. Sophie bit her lip and took a deep breath before approaching the blonde young woman.
“Well- um, congratulations, I guess!” Sophie said, momentarily startling her friend.
“Oh- umm, hi Soph!” Rachel chuckled. “Yeah… I- I kinda don’t get that whole superstition, heh.”
“You still caught the bouquet, though,” Sophie teased, smirking as her friend rolled her eyes.
“Let’s not even go there,” Rachel chuckled as she and Sophie headed toward the vast room’s bar and ordered themselves each a glass of champagne. “Though I will say that this is by far the biggest and fanciest wedding I’ve ever been to, heh!”
“You’d expect nothing less, given who’s bankrolling it!” Sophie chuckled as she gestured over Rachel’s shoulder to where Amelie’s father was sat talking to several other middle-aged businessmen. Sophie frowned, though, when Rachel shuddered at the sight of him.
“I’m going to have a really, really hard time ever forgiving that man,” Rachel explained in a dark, quiet voice, before shaking her head. “Meh, I’m okay.”
“You sure?” Sophie whispered, remembering the circumstances- especially the trauma- surrounding her friend's departure from the airline.
“I’m fine, honestly,” Rachel said firmly. “I- ugh. Even seven months on everybody keeps asking me if I’m fine.”
“Because we all care about you,” Sophie said with a shrug. “Because we- we all love you, Rachel. You’re still our friend and always will be, even if you don’t work for the airline anymore.”
“…Thanks,” Rachel whispered, before finishing her champagne and asking for another glass. Sophie bit her lip as an awkward silence fell over the two of them.
“So, umm…” Sophie mumbled. “How- umm, how are your sisters?”
“Same as always,” Rachel shrugged. “Lizzie’s just started secondary school, so she thinks she’s this big grown-up all of a sudden, heh.”
“Heh,” Sophie chuckled. “So, umm, are- are you, umm, seeing anyone right now?” Sophie bit her lip as Rachel shot her an angry glare, before sighing.
“I- ugh,” the blonde girl sighed. “No, no I’m not seeing anyone, and I’m not planning to, but- ugh. Soph, I- I like you, I really do, but just as a friend. I mean- it’s not that I wouldn’t, I mean, I’m not, like, gay or anything, and I know you don’t always identify solely as male or female ‘cause that wouldn’t be an issue, but- umm, you- you weren’t, you know, ‘enquiring’, were you?” Sophie bit her lip as her friend’s cheeks reddened- while her enquiry had only been out of friendly curiosity, the truth was that she did find Rachel attractive, and always had. However, she also knew that after what Rachel had gone through, a relationship- particularly with someone as unsure of themselves as Sophie- would be the last thing she needed. No matter how lonely, how single Sophie felt, she knew that she had to put her friend’s feelings before her own.
“…No,” Sophie whispered, averting her gaze. “I was just, umm, you know, curious.” Sophie grimaced as she finished her champagne before taking another glass.
“Oh,” Rachel said, before taking a deep breath to calm herself. “I- I’m sorry I haven’t been to the Sunday morning classes much lately, I- I’ve had a lot on my mind, what with uni and stuff.”
“That’s okay,” Sophie said with a shrug as she hastily downed her champagne and took yet another glass. “They- umm, tomorrow there isn’t one ‘cause of, you know, Christmas… Ooh, are- are you, you know, doing anything for Christmas?”
“Just spending it with family, really,” Rachel replied, before taking a long gulp from her glass. “Ugh, Soph, it- I think we should maybe start this conversation again, you know?”
“Not a bad idea,” Sophie chuckled, taking another long gulp of her champagne and turning her back to Rachel, before turning back around with a smile on her face. “Oh, hi Rach! Didn’t know you were here today!”
“Oh, hi Soph!” Rachel said enthusiastically, causing the two women to break down in a fit of giggles. “I love your bridesmaid’s dress!”
“Thank you!” Sophie said as she playfully swished the long skirt of her gown. “Your dress is cute too- which I mean in a friendly way, hehe!”
“Thanks!” Rachel giggled, doing a slow twirl to show off her elegant lilac pencil dress. “Early Christmas present from my mum, heh!”
“Nice,” Sophie giggled. “I- ooh, I dunno if I told you, but I- I might be getting a dress from my mum for Christmas too, I- I’m back in contact, I’m out, hehe! And proud, and- yeah. It is a HUGE weight off my shoulders, seriously.”
“Yeah, I was there for the Sunday morning lesson after you came out, remember?” Rachel reminded her increasingly tipsy friend.
“Oh- yeah, that’s true,” Sophie giggled.
“Though I am still really, really happy for you,” Rachel said with a friendly smile. “You know what this calls for?”
“More champagne?” Sophie asked, giggling as her blonde friend squeaked excitedly.
“Read my mind!” Rachel giggled as she and Sophie grabbed another glass each.
Sophie felt her eyes sting and her head throb as she returned to the land of the living the following morning. Her hair was matted, her make-up had stained her pillowcase and her stomach was churning. Sophie took some comfort from the fact that she hadn’t' fallen asleep in her expensive bridesmaid's dress, but that didn’t change the fact that she felt like hell… However, that feeling changed when she rolled over to discover that she was not alone in bed. Sophie smirked as she nudged the slender female form next to her awake, grinning as the woman rolled over and Sophie found herself staring into the gentle blue eyes… Of Amy Harris.
“AAAHHH!” the two women simultaneously yelled as they jumped out of opposite sides of the bed, Sophie wrapping the top sheet around her while Amy covered herself with her duvet.
“What- what are you doing here!?” Sophie shrieked.
“Me!?” Amy hissed. “What- what the fuck, Sophie?”
“What do you mean, ‘what the fuck’?” Sophie growled. “Did we- oh god, we- we didn’t, did we?” Sophie bit her lip nervously as Amy fidgeted and licked her lips uncomfortably.
“…Either that I had a massive curry last night, or- yeah, we did…” Amy grimaced.
“Oh- oh my god Amy, I am so, SO sorry…” Sophie whimpered.
“You- what makes you so sure I didn’t come onto you?” Amy groaned as both women started to calm down and sat on opposite sides of the bed.
“I- I don’t even remember you arriving at the reception last night,” Sophie mumbled.
“I got there late,” Amy sighed, closing her eyes to try to shake the cobwebs from her brain. “I remember that you were already pretty hammered, and you kept giving me glasses of champagne…”
“Oh my god,” Sophie groaned. “I- I did, didn’t I? I took advantage of you? Some feminist I am…”
“Sophie, you were WAY more plastered than I was,” Amy reassured her friend. “I definitely remember you throwing up at one point, then I suggested that you should go to bed, then- ugh, yep.”
“…What?” Sophie asked.
“I- umm, I- I may have been the one to initiate the first kiss…” Amy grimaced. “I mean- ugh, I’d had plenty myself, and you- okay, you looked REALLY cute in your dress, even after you’d thrown up, and- well, that’s what happened, apparently.”
“But- but we still-“ Sophie said hesitantly.
“You were plastered, not paralytic,” Amy groaned as she laid back on the bed, huddling the quilt around her.
“But I thought- I thought you didn’t, umm, you know…” Sophie mumbled.
“Didn’t- didn’t what?” Amy asked.
“I thought you, you know, only slept with women…” Sophie mumbled.
“…Trans women ARE women,” Amy retorted. “Even if you, you know, aren’t anatomically female, or even chemically, but you present as- ugh. Let- let’s just pretend this didn’t happen, okay? We were both drunk, we both made a mistake, lesson learned, move on.”
“O- okay,” Sophie said, biting her lip as she and Amy gazed into each other’s eyes momentarily, before averting their gaze. “We- we NEVER tell Hayley about this, okay?”
“Uh- ya think?” Amy snorted as she scooped her discarded underwear off the floor. “…Gonna let me get dressed, maybe?”
“Wha- really?” Sophie asked. “Even after what we- no, okay, fine.” Sophie bit her lip and grimaced as she hauled herself and her sheet into the room’s en-suite, groaning as she lowered herself onto the toilet and tried to recall the events of the previous night.
It wasn’t that Sophie found Amy unattractive- on the contrary, if Sophie had met any other girl who had the same slender body, flame-coloured hair and cute freckles as Amy, Sophie would’ve been immediately drawn to her. But Amy wasn’t any other girl- she was one of Sophie’s best friends, if not her BFF. Sophie had always felt that the notion of a ‘BFF’ was silly- ‘James’ had naturally drifted apart from all the friends he’d made at school or university, something she’d assumed everyone did. However, within months of meeting Amy and Hayley, Sophie knew that they would remain a part of her life forever. Sophie never expected, however, for Amy to be a part of her life in the way she’d been the previous night. As she continued to think, though, Sophie remembered what Amy had said- that it had been her, not Sophie, who initiated the 'encounter'. Even if Amy had been looking through beer goggles, a part of her had found Sophie attractive enough to want to spend the night with her. Regardless of how they both reacted when they woke up in the cold light of day, Sophie began to wonder whether or not a relationship might be possible between her and Amy- however, before she could explore that thought any further, she was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door.
“I’m done,” Amy said, smiling sympathetically as Sophie opened the door. “I, um, I- I’ll use the loo in my own room, heh.”
“Oh, I- I don’t mind if you need to, umm…” Sophie mumbled.
“N- no, it’s okay,” Amy whispered. “I’ve only just put my ‘tucking knickers’ on, it always takes me ages to, well, ‘rearrange’ things, I- I’ll be okay in my own room.”
“If you’re sure,” Sophie whispered, biting her lip as an awkward silence fell over the two women. Sophie and Amy each took a deep breath as they slowly leaned in toward each other, only to flinch and back away.
“I- umm, I- I should go,” Amy mumbled.
“Ye- yeah,” Sophie replied, before groaning and flopping down on her bed once her friend was out of sight.
As she walked back down the hotel corridor to her room, Amy had to bite her lip to keep herself from screaming in frustration. Just as Sophie did regarding her, Amy considered the brown-haired woman to be one of her best friends, if not her best friend full stop. However, Amy hadn’t once thought of Sophie in a romantic or even purely physical way before, regardless of how much their friends teased them about the 'potential' their 'relationship' had. And yet, as she walked away, Amy couldn’t stop thinking about the night they’d shared, or even their first kiss, and whether or not their friends were right- whether they would make a good couple…
After she’d showered, fixed her make-up and tied her hair back into a loose ponytail, Sophie covered herself with a warm turtleneck sweater dress and a pair of opaque black tights before slipping her feet into a pair of comfy Ugg boots and heading down to the hotel restaurant, where many of her friends were already enjoying their breakfasts. However, as Sophie scanned the room, she was able to quickly deduce that Amy was not among them. After grabbing a bowl of cereal and a large mug of black coffee, Sophie made her way to the table where several of her friends were sat, all of whom greeted her with smiles and made a space for her to sit down before Sophie had even had the chance to ask.
“Thanks,” Sophie said with a smile as she sat down between Natalie and Paige.
“You’re welcome,” Natalie said with a smug grin. “So… Good night last night?” The Mancunian woman frowned with confusion as the question made Sophie nearly choke on her corn flakes.
“Umm, I- I’m sorry?” Sophie squeaked as she tried to clear her throat.
“Last… Night?” Natalie asked, confused by her friend’s panic. “Come on, don’t be so shy, we all saw what happened.”
“You- you saw!?” Sophie asked, her voice pitching even higher.
“Oui…” Zoe said, equally as confused as her spouse. “The amount of champagne you drank?”
“You gave Snikki a run for their money!” Jessica teased as Sophie sighed and rolled her eyes.
“I- I wasn’t, you know, ‘bad’, was I?” Sophie asked. “Like, no, umm, dancing or singing, or other things… right?”
“Nah, believe me, you weren’t on your feet that long!” Paige replied, giggling as Sophie rolled her eyes again. “Have you seen Amy this morning?” the four women looked on in confusion as Sophie again nearly choked on her coffee.
“Are you okay, Sophie?” Jessica asked with a concerned look on her face.
“Oh- umm, yep,” Sophie squeaked as she cleared her throat again. “Just not, you know, used to an interrogation when I’m hungover.”
“You’re a journalist, consider this payback,” Natalie said with a smug grin.
“I’m only asking as I’m sure I saw her at the reception,” Paige said. “I’d promised her I’d talk to her about SRS before we fly back.”
“Same here,” Jessica said. “I think she’s looking at going in for it next summer, isn’t she?”
“Oh- umm, you’d need to ask her, I’m not 100% sure,” Sophie replied.
“Really?” Paige asked. “I always thought you two were joined at the hip.” Sophie hastily swallowed her cereal and took a deep breath so as to avoid choking on her food again. “Well, you two and Hayley, anyway. Well, okay, you three and Francine now, heh!”
“Though I still say nothing beats the ‘four nations’, heh!” Natalie chuckled.
“Why do I sense another tattoo coming on?” Jessica asked, before her eyes widened as she gazed toward the entrance of the restaurant. “Ooh, please be upstanding!” The five women at the table all giggled excitedly- even Sophie, despite her hungover and stressed state- and applauded as Amelie and Ellen entered the room hand in hand. The two newlyweds blushed as they walked through the sea of their friends to the special table that had been set aside for them. As they passed the table where Sophie was sat, the couple briefly glanced over at the brown-haired woman, who mouthed ‘later’ at the couple- an action that however subtle, still earned confused looks from her friends.
“What was that about?” Paige asked confusedly.
“Oh, it- it’s nothing,” Sophie replied bashfully, conscious of what Ellen had told her last night about Natalie. “They just- they just asked me to do a favour for them. Like, journalistically, that sort of thing.”
“I never realised that wanking into a cup counted as journalism,” Natalie snorted, making Sophie cringe and their friends frown with confusion. “Then again, it’s still probably got more journalistic value than what you get from the Sun, or the Mail, or Fox News and all that shit, heh.”
“It’s also a bit of a non sequitur to bring THAT up at the breakfast table,” Jessica said as Sophie blushed.
“…You know, then?” Sophie asked her Mancunian friend.
“Ellen’s never been able to keep secrets from me,” Natalie said quietly, before taking a deep breath and explaining for her wife and her friends. “Ellen and Amelie want to have children eventually, and obviously need a sperm donor. And, well, me and Sophie are the only people- not just at this table, but in our entire, like, 'group', who are, well, still ‘equipped’ for it, chemically, like. Ellen’s talked about being the one to carry the baby so obviously I can’t, well, ‘donate’, which just leaves Soph.”
“…Basically that,” Sophie confirmed as Jessica and Paige quietly nodded their head, while Natalie’s wife closed her eyes.
“You- you still want for us to have children, do you not?” Zoe asked quietly.
“Eventually,” Natalie replied almost immediately. “When you’re ready, ONLY when you’re ready. I’d- I would rather not have children at all if it means I can’t have them with you. I mean that, Zoe.” Sophie, Jessica and Paige all breathe quiet sighs of relief as their French friend smiled sympathetically.
“I know,” Zoe whispered. “Ugh, and I- I apologise if it made this breakfast awkward. It is something of which we speak often, but always in private.”
“No, don’t worry about it,” Jessica said. “Me and Paige, we- we’re thinking of adopting too.”
“Neither of us, well, made any ‘deposits’ at a ‘bank’, so adoption’s our only option,” Paige explained. “But, well, we’ve been thinking of starting a family, so- yeah.”
“And the charity we work for, my aunt’s charity, has a lot of experience assisting same-sex couples with- ah, umm, sorry, Soph, I think we may be ‘excluding’ you a bit from this conversation, heh!” Jessica chuckled.
“Oh- no, don’t stop on my account, heh!” Sophie chuckled. “As long as you don’t mind yet another interview for my book? I mean, I’ve already talked to Stuart and Jamie Milton about their experiences adopting as a transgender couple, so- yeah. It’ll be interesting to hear your perspective.”
“Of course, we’d be happy to help,” Jessica said softly. “I was just worried, you know, that, well…”
“I think Jess is trying to be sensitive about the fact that you’ve sat down with two married couples,” Paige said, giving her wife’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“Oh- honestly, I’ve not got any problem there,” Sophie said, fidgeting as she realised that the Amy situation meant she wasn't being entirely truthful with her friends.
“That’s good,” Paige said with a friendly smile. “And you shouldn’t do, either- I’m sure there’s a perfect girl out there for you, just as there was for all four of us. Heh, probably even closer than you think!” Okay, you have GOT to know, Sophie thought to herself as she laughed nervously.
“Well, maybe,” Sophie shrugged. “Are you- are you guys heading straight to the airport from the hotel?”
“Yeah,” Jessica sighed. “Just going to make a quick stop off at home to make sure everything’s okay, then down to Baltimore for my brother’s birthday and Christmas, then down to Florida for the New Year, then right back to work on January 3rd, heh.”
“We don’t know when we’ll be back over here next,” Paige said. “But we definitely plan on coming over at least once in 2020, maybe for my mum’s birthday. If we do, we will stop over in London for a day or two.”
“Well, if you do, I’ll be sure to make time to say hi,” Sophie said. “Seeing as I’m the only one here who still actually works for the airline, heh!”
“Oh- aye!” Paige giggled. “Even if a couple of people here are now related to a relative of the owner of the airline…”
“Ooh, yes,” Jessica said with an excited squeak. “Do you know if Ellen’s going to stay with the airline? It’ll be a bit odd, Masson’s friends being served drinks by his own daughter-in-law.”
“Well, we might be about to find out,” Natalie whispered as she gestured to the entrance of the restaurant, where Antoine Masson himself had just appeared, flanked by his four other children and two bodyguards. Sophie bit her lip and watched as the billionaire passed by their table, giving a slight nod to everyone along the way, before sitting down at Amelie and Ellen’s table. Meanwhile, Sophie’s anxiety levels rose as Francine sat down at her table- accompanied by her three siblings.
“Ah, bonjour madames!” Francine said with an excited squeak. “Jessica, Paige, Natalie, Zoe and of course Sophie, these are my brothers and sisters! Henri, Antoine, Veronique, ce sont les amies que je me suis fait à Londres!”
“Bonjour,” Henri said quietly as he, his brother and his sister greeted the five women with polite handshakes before sitting down beside their youngest sibling. Sophie and her four friends couldn’t help but notice, though, that the older three Masson siblings all seemed uncomfortable to be in their presence- a feeling emphasised by the awkward silence that fell over the table.”
“So, umm,” Sophie mumbled. “Combien de temps restes-tu à Londres?”
“It is okay, they all speak good English,” Francine said with a smile and a roll of her eyes. “More than me, to be true.”
“…And to answer your question, we shall fly back tomorrow,” Henri replied curtly. “So our family is together for Christmas.”
“Toute notre famille,” Antoine said, leading to another awkward silence.
“I- I shall go and get some breakfast,” Francine said, standing up only to sit back down again when she saw a young man approach the table carrying a toddler, which immediately replaced her sister Veronique’s scowl with a wide grin.
“Mama!” The toddler yelled as he reached for Francine’s sister, who eagerly scooped him up for a cuddle.
“Aww, your son is a little cutie!” Natalie cooed. “How old is he?”
“He shall be two years next month,” Veronique replied with a smile that widened as her father approached the table.
“Grand-pere!” The little boy said, reaching for his grandfather who eagerly snatched him up for a cuddle.
“Je pensais avoir entendu mon petit homme préféré!” Monsieur Masson said with a playful chuckle.
“I- I think we’ll get out of your way,” Jessica said nervously. “We need to pack for our flight, and- yeah.”
“On one of our planes?” The younger Antoine asked with a smirk. “Or are you going to America?”
“To America, I’m afraid,” Jessica replied, earning a smirk from the young Frenchman.
“Perhaps soon,” Antoine Jr said with a smirk as the five women got up to leave the table, only for Sophie to freeze when her billionaire boss gave her a tap on the shoulder.
“You are Sophie, are you not?” Monsieur Masson asked, to which Sophie replied with a nervous nod. “Amelie has asked to speak to you.”
“M- merci, Monsieur Masson,” Sophie said, heading toward the newlyweds’ table as she pondered the surreal situation of one of Europe's richest men not only knowing who she was, but passing on a message to her like he was a mere errand boy. However, Sophie quickly reasoned that the billionaire had to have known who she was- after all, she did lead his employees in a strike against him earlier that year.
“Ah, bonjour Sophie!” Amelie said with an uncharacteristically wide smile as Sophie approached their table.
“Bonjour, MADAME Briggs-Masson et MADAME Briggs-Masson!” Sophie teased, making the two newlyweds giggle and blush. “Is it sinking in yet that you’re married?”
“It- it is after my father has spoken to us,” Amelie replied. “He- he is happy, truly happier than I have known him for a long time.”
“I think it’s because he can see we’re happy,” Ellen said. “Like, truly happy.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Sophie said with a smile. “Though I get the impression you asked me over here is because of the favour you asked me last night?”
“Oui,” Amelie whispered.
“Yeah, we- I mean, we’re not going to need your, well, ‘contribution’ immediately,” Ellen said. “It will be years, seriously- years before we try to conceive. But we, you know, figure that the sooner we, well, get the ball rolling-“ Ellen and Sophie both grimaced as Amelie giggled at the remark.
“…Sorry,” Amelie chuckled, giving her new wife a gentle kiss to make up for her faux pas. “But that was not a good choice of words, hehe!”
“Anyway, as I was saying,” Ellen said, giving her new wife a gentle nudge with her elbow. “We want to get this, well, ‘sorted’ as soon as possible, more for your sake than anything else.”
“Well- thanks, but you needn’t rush on my behalf,” Sophie said.
“It is okay,” Amelie said softly. “We do not want it distracting you. And the only rules they have are that you must not have had sex in the last seven days.” Sophie felt her tension levels rise as once again, the previous night's 'activities' were unknowingly alluded to by her friends.
“Or, well, ‘played solitaire’,” Ellen said with a teasing giggle. “So, can we try to slot you in as soon as possible?”
“I-“ Sophie said hesitantly as her mind raced. “Well, umm, you’re not going to fit me in this close to Christmas anyway, so how about we look into it in the new year?”
“Okay,” Ellen said with a shrug. “We’ll probably be on honeymoon by then anyway, so we’ll contact you when we return… Even though we, umm, won’t be returning to London.”
“Oh- what?” Sophie asked, startled by the revelation.
“Oui,” Amelie said. “We shall be living in Paris, in a home bought by my father.”
“Aren’t you still at uni in London?” Sophie asked.
“I shall be transferring to Sorbonne University in the new year,” Amelie replied. “Another gift arranged by my father. He has decided that we have been angry with each other for too long. And for once, I will agree with him.”
“What- if you don’t mind me asking, what’s brought this on all of a sudden?” Sophie asked.
“Well- yesterday, mostly,” Ellen replied.
“It has taken until I am twenty-two and married for my father to accept that I am an adult and should be let to make my own choices,” Amelie said. “Even if he does sometimes get things wrong.”
“He wanted us to go to Dubai for our honeymoon,” Ellen explained. “He did actually need the problem with THAT pointing out to him, heh.”
“Well, quite,” Sophie said. “So- what will you be doing in Paris, Ellen?”
“Umm, I DO speak fluent French, it’s not like I won’t just be stuck indoors all day,” the Mancunian woman retorted. “Amelie’s dad has found me a role behind the scenes with his company, I’ll be kept busy enough.”
“As shall I,” Amelie said with a proud grin. “With the flying lessons I shall be taking starting in March!”
“It’s about time!” Sophie said, before leaning down for a hug with the two women. “I am happy for you, I really am. We will have to have a going away party for you at some point, though.”
“This close to Christmas?” Amelie asked with a devious grin. “But it is okay. Last night was both wedding reception and going-away party, heh!”
“What better day for a party than the longest night of the year?” Ellen asked with a grin.
“Well- I’ll miss the both of you, I really will,” Sophie said softly.
“Not least because it makes you one of the longest-serving stewardesses in London!” Ellen teased, widening Sophie’s eyes.
“I- god, I hadn’t even thought of that,” Sophie sighed. “Not bad for someone who was only going to stay for six months, heh.”
“You were always going to be part of the family,” Amelie said softly as she gave Sophie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “And be sure and tell Amy too.”
“A- Amy?” Sophie asked nervously.
“Yes, Amy that you are living with,” Amelie said. “And Hayley. I would send a message through Francine but she pouted at our father so she shall not be back at work OR in London until third January.”
“Typical baby sister,” Ellen said with a smug smirk as her younger sister approached the table, her fingers interlinked with those of a slender ginger-haired man.
“Very funny,” Sasha snorted. “It- it’s Sophie, right? Natalie told me to find you, said they’ve headed off to pack their suitcases, but they’ll be in the bar for a bit if you want to catch up.”
“Thanks,” Sophie replied. “I should probably pack my travel case as well, heh.” Sophie bit her lip nervously as she faced the newly arrived young man. “Oh, I- I don’t think we’ve been introduced, I’m Sophie, Sophie Connelly.”
“Kurt Vance,” the young man replied in a distinctive accent. “Nice to meet you.”
“Thanks,” Sophie said with a smile. “If- if you don’t mind me asking, umm…” Sophie frowned as the young man and his girlfriend started to fidget awkwardly.
“…Yes,” Kurt sighed. “Despite the trousers, I- well, my name hasn’t always been ‘Kurt’ and there hasn’t always been an ‘M’ on my passport.” Sophie’s eyes widened as she realised what the young man was implying.
“Oh- oh, god no, I didn’t mean THAT,” Sophie said flusteredly. “I mean, I’m transgender myself, so that- that really isn’t an issue, heh. I was actually going to ask what part of America you’re from?”
“Umm, the part of America that isn’t part of the United States of America,” Kurt replied, earning a confused look from Sophie. “I’m from Winnipeg, in Canada.”
“Ah, okay,” Sophie cringed. “Two faux pas in thirty seconds means I should probably go now, heh.”
“Don’t- don’t worry about it, I get that all the time,” Kurt reassured Sophie. “Honestly, the first time I met Sasha I thought she was Irish, heh.” Sophie giggled as the young couple leaned in for a gentle hug.
“Did you tell him about the book?” Amelie asked her sister-in-law quietly, earning a look of realisation from Kurt.
“Oh, you- you’re THAT Sophie?” The Canadian trans man asked. “Ah, yes, Sasha did mention that actually, and I’d be happy to help in any way I can.”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered. “I, umm, I really need to go and pack now, but you can go ahead and add me on Facebook, I’m friends with everyone here so you should be able to find me easily enough.”
“Sure,” Kurt said, giving Sophie another handshake before she exchanged hugs with the three women and headed out of the hotel restaurant.
As she headed back to her room, Sophie found herself distracted by something she said to Kurt- that she was transgender. Without any qualification, she had proudly stated that she was living her life as a different gender to the one she was born into. And the more Sophie thought about it, the more she realised she WAS proud to be transgender, even if she felt that she wasn't 'as' transgender as many of her friends. She was proud to be part of a community, to have friends who supported her freedom to live her life- HER life- the way she wanted. Even if she still 'reserved' the identity of ‘James’, it didn’t change the fact that the woman she was, was loved by many, including her own family.
However, as she turned the corner onto her corridor, she found herself face to face with the last person she wanted to see.
“Oh- umm, hi Amy,” Sophie said, flinching as the ginger-haired woman glared at her.
“H- hi Soph,” Amy replied. “I- I’m just, you know, heading home, got everything packed…”
“Yeah, me- me too,” Sophie said. “Well, umm, once I have packed, I- umm, I- I like your skirt…”
“Thanks,” Amy whispered as she playfully swished her ankle-length garment. “I- ugh. Soph, we- we really can’t go on like this, I mean, we live together for god’s sake, it’s not like we’re never going to run into each other…”
“I agree,” Sophie whispered. “Like you said earlier, let- let’s just pretend this never happened.”
“Ye- yeah,” Amy said, before sighing. “Though I- I’m not sure that I can. But- ugh. Let- let’s talk when we get home, okay? Really kinda not the time or the place for it right now.”
“Agreed,” Sophie said, awkwardly leaning in for a hug with her friend before sighing and allowing Amy to pass her by.
Sophie wasted no time in packing her own bags and, after saying a quick goodbye to her friends in the hotel’s restaurant and bar, headed straight home in the hope of having a more productive talk with Amy. Sophie steeled herself for the talk when she heard the sound of the television coming from the living room, but when she entered the room, it wasn't Amy who greeted her.
“Hello Miss Bridesmaid!” Hayley teased Sophie, giggling as her friend rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on, don’t be so coy, you DID look cute in that bridesmaid’s dress!”
“Well- yeah,” Sophie said with a smug grin.
“Sucks SO much that I had to miss it,” Hayley sighed. “But, like, with it being the Saturday before Christmas, I’m amazed the airline could spare ANYONE.”
“I know I had to use some of my leave just to attend,” Sophie sighed.
“But was it worth it?” Hayley asked, frowning with confusion as her flatmate’s eyes widened. “…The wedding? Especially the reception, hehe!”
“Oh- yeah,” Sophie chuckled nervously. “Tot- totally worth it, hehe!”
“Glad to hear it,” Hayley said. “I was worried that, you know, there was a big kicking off or something, Amy was acting weird when she came back too.”
“A- Amy?” Sophie stammered.
“Yes…” Hayley replied. “You know, the ginger girl who’s lived with us for the last 2 years? Seriously, Soph, what IS it with you two today? She was acting all weird as well.”
“Oh- nothing, nothing really…” Sophie mumbled.
“Right…” Hayley said, unconvinced by her friend's insistence. “Well, either way, Amy told me to tell you she’s gone home to her family for Christmas, she won’t be back until the evening of Christmas Day itself, so- well, yeah. Dunno why she couldn’t tell you herself, but whatever.”
“Well- yeah…” Sophie mumbled.
“If you two have fallen out,” Hayley sighed, “please sort it out BEFORE Christmas? We may live in London, but we don't live in Walford, for god’s sake.”
“Yes, yes, okay,” Sophie snapped, before sighing. “Ugh, I- I’m sorry Hayley, I just- ugh. Long weekend, tiring weekend…”
“Erm, okay,” Hayley said. “Not sure I’d call it as tiring as flying back and forth to Berlin, but- yeah. Best not to fight about it, hehe! I’ll let you get unpacked, as long as you show off the dress for me, pretty please?” Sophie giggled as Hayley playfully batted her eyelashes at her, before grimacing as she realised why her travel bag was lighter than expected.
“Ah, I- I may have kinda- kinda left the dress at the hotel…” Sophie grimaced, mentally leaving ‘I was in such a rush to get out of there’ off the end of her sentence.
“Oh- what?” Hayley asked with a sad frown. “Soph, I know you’re not as, like, ‘lifelong’ as me or Amy, but you’ve been going on about that dress for weeks…”
“I know, I- ugh,” Sophie spat. “I- I’ll text Francine, see if I can get her to drop it back on her way to the airport.”
“It’s going to be quiet without those two over Christmas,” Hayley mused as Sophie composed her text message. “Heh, appropriate for ‘team SH’, right? And outside of work it’s been ages since it was just the two of us hanging out, right?”
“A bit, yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“It seems like you’re always too busy hanging out with Amy,” Hayley mused, not noticing as Sophie nearly dropped her phone.
“Well- nah,” Sophie said dismissively. “Team ASH is, and always will be, a-“ Sophie paused as the word she was about to say caught in her throat- however, her friend quickly finished her sentence for her.
“…You were going to say ‘threesome’, weren’t you?” Hayley teased her friend, whose cheeks immediately flushed.
“…Trio,” Sophie clarified. “Team ASH is a trio and always will be.”
“Even if all three of us have technically shared a bed?” Hayley asked playfully.
“I- we have not,” Sophie said defensively.
“Except Manchester last year?” Hayley asked. “After Nat and Zoe’s wedding?”
“Well, I- I meant, like, sexually…” Sophie mumbled.
“Well, yes, obviously,” Hayley chuckled. “I mean, as much as I tease you and Amy, it is kinda a complication Team ASH doesn’t need right now, heh!”
“Yeah,” Sophie replied with a hasty chuckle, before taking a stealthy deep breath. “Do you- umm, do you want me to cook, or shall we order a pizza or something?”
“Pizza’s fine if we’re both tired,” Hayley replied. “As long as Amy won’t get jealous about us sharing our food?” Hayley giggled as Sophie playfully threw a cushion at her before heading into her bedroom to unpack.
A short while later, Sophie returned to the living room dressed in a comfortable pair of leggings and a long sweatshirt and dropped herself onto the sofa next to her friend. After the mania of the previous 48 hours, Sophie was glad to have the opportunity to relax, but she still felt frustrated that not only had Amy gone home to Kent- after previously saying that they’d talk when Sophie returned home- but she hadn’t even said goodbye before she left.
Sophie opted for an early night that night as she had an early flight the following morning, but before she climbed into bed, she sat at her dressing table, racking her brains as she tried to compose a text message to her absent friend.
‘Missed you at home today,’ the text message read. ‘Let me know when you’ll be back in London. Soph x.’
In her bed in her parents’ home, Amy read the text message over and over as she tried to decipher her scrambled feelings toward her flatmate. Regardless of how or why Sophie came into her life, Amy was glad that she was there. Sophie was one of the very best friends Amy had ever had, and she couldn’t imagine her life without her in it- but at the same time, Amy struggled to work out exactly what role she wanted Sophie to play in her life. She loved Sophie- there was no point in denying otherwise. But Amy couldn’t figure out whether or not she was in love with Sophie…
“Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!” The playful voice of Amy’s mother said as she shook her daughter awake.
“Ugh, yes, yes, I’m awake,” Amy moaned, sighing as she brushed her long ginger hair from her face and her mouth. “You don’t need to be THIS enthusiastic this early, you know…”
“Well, I’m sorry if I’m excited to be spending the day with my granddaughter!” Mrs Harris retorted. “What time are we picking her up from her mother’s house?”
“Umm, 10am, if I remember rightly,” Amy replied. “Assuming Kerry hasn’t given her a late breakfast or something, anyway…”
“Well, today has been arranged well in advance, and Kerry knows that,” Mrs Harris reminded her daughter. “And more to the point, you know that too. Why are you so distracted today, anyway? Normally when we’re spending the day with Jade, you’re the one waking me up.”
“Ugh, it- it was a long weekend,” Amy replied. “Like I told you last night, I was at a friend’s wedding, and-“ Amy paused and bit her lip as she tried futilely to find a way of wording the previous night's events that she could tolerating thinking, let alone saying.
“It’s okay, I get it, I get it, I was young once,” Amy’s mother interrupted with a sympathetic smile. “But you’ve got tomorrow to recover, today’s about your daughter. And I know today will be difficult. So just try to relax and enjoy it- this is the closest to Christmas that you’ve ever been able to spend time with Jade.”
“Yeah, I know,” Amy sighed as she swung her legs out of bed and wrapped her warm red dressing gown around her. However, as she padded downstairs to the kitchen, her thoughts were still on the text message she’d received the previous night…
After eating and showering, Amy headed to her room to get ready for the day ahead, returning to the living room a short while later wearing a tight, just shorter than knee-length mauve sweater dress, accessorised with a wide black belt, dark tights and her favourite pair of knee-high boots with a 4” chucky heel. As she so often did, Amy felt cute, strong and feminine, and as often happened many times before, Amy knew her appearance would attract male attention while she was out, however disinterested she was in it. For the first time ever, though, Amy found herself wondering what reaction Sophie would’ve had to her appearance.
“You look very nice, Amy,” Mr Harris said as the family headed out to his car.
“Thanks, dad,” Amy said with a sigh as she elegantly slid onto the back seat of the car, making sure that the car seat next to her was firmly secured in place. “Are all the presents in the boot?”
“Don’t worry, I double and triple-checked we had everything before we left,” Amy’s father replied. “And I know this won’t be easy for you, but try to cheer up- after all, it’s nearly Christmas!”
“Yeah,” Amy chuckled nervously as the car set off on the short journey to Jade and her mother's house.
A short while later, the car pulled up outside the house of Amy’s ex-girlfriend, and the ginger-haired girl tried to brace herself for the usual onslaught of emotions, but found herself almost hyperventilating when she failed to shake the Sophie situation from her mind. However, Amy’s heart swelled as the front door opened and a little girl with brown hair came running out with a wide grin on her face… only for her heart to shatter when the girl opened her mouth to speak.
“Auntie Amy!” The girl squeaked excitedly, giving the ginger-haired woman a quick hug before quickly moving on to the other occupants of the car. “Grandma! Grandpa!”
“Hello Jade!” Amy’s father beamed, snatching the little girl up for a quick cuddle. “Are you looking forward to Christmas?” The three adults all cooed happily as the little girl nodded.
“We’ll have her back to you by 5pm,” Amy’s mother said as she took Jade's travel bag from the girl’s mother.
“Okay,” Kerry said, a smile spreading across her face as she addressed her daughter. “You have fun with Grandma and Grandpa, okay?”
“I will mummy!” Jade replied with a giggle.
“And your AUNTIE Amy,” Kerry said quietly as she shot an angry glare at the father of her child, who squirmed as she fastened her daughter into her car seat before driving away.
"Will daddy be coming today as well?" Jade asked innocently, unaware of the pain she caused her father- and that the woman sat next to her on the back seat of the car WAS her father.
"He's very busy," Amy explained as she tried desperately to keep herself from breaking down. "He- he's still living away. In America. But- but he told me to tell you that he loves you very, very much, and always will."
"Oh, okay," Jade said, the disappointment on her face further shattering Amy's heart.
"Oh come on, cheer up Jade!" Amy's mother said, trying her hardest to sound as enthusiastic as possible. "It's nearly Christmas, and we AND your father have got you lots of presents to open on Christmas morning!"
"I know," Jade replied with a sad smile. "But I still miss my daddy."
"And he misses you too," Amy whispered, stealthily wiping a tear from her eye. "He misses you every day."
A short while later, the family arrived back in London, where Amy delighted in showing her daughter all the sights of the city, from Big Ben to Buckingham Palace to Tower Bridge, before taking a boat tour along the Thames. Amy's heart swelled with pride at the look of wonder on Jade's face at the sights she saw, but deep down, she knew that every second she spent with her daughter was a second where she had to pretend to be the girl's aunt- and was also a second closer to the time she'd have to return Jade to her mother.
“Hi sweetie!” Kerry said as she entered the café where the three generations of Harrises were waiting, giving her daughter a gentle cuddle before sitting down in between her and Amy. “Did you have fun today with your grandparents?” Amy bristled and tried not to cry as she was, once again, excluded by her ex-partner.
“We saw Buckingham Palace, where the Queen lives!” the young girl said enthusiastically. “And Auntie Amy told me about the wedding she went to on Saturday and showed me photos of the dresses the brides wore!”
“Oh- you mean ‘the dress that the bride wore’, sweetie,” Kerry corrected her daughter. “Don’t forget about plurals that you learned at school.”
“No, what I said was right,” Jade protested. “There were two brides at the wedding getting married to each other.” Everyone at the table flinched as the little girl earned a scowl from her mother. “I- I’m sorry mummy, did I say something bad?”
“No- no, sweetie,” Kerry said, cuddling her daughter again before scowling at Amy. “It wasn’t YOU that said anything bad.”
“…What?” Amy protested.
“You know very well ‘what’,” Kerry hissed as Amy’s parents, sensing the impending argument, distracted their granddaughter with the photos they'd taken on their phones during the day. “She’s too young to learn about- about THINGS like that!”
“I hope you’re not calling two of my best friends ‘things’,” Amy spat. “Unless you mean the wedding?”
“Of course I mean the wedding!” Kerry whispered angrily, standing up from the table and dragging Amy out of earshot of their daughter. “She’s too young to understand about things like- like that and you know it!”
“She’s not too young to learn about heterosexual weddings, though?” Amy retorted.
“Well- no, because they’re normal,” Kerry replied. “And they-“ Kerry’s face reddened with anger as she hesitated.
“Go on, this’ll be good,” Amy said with a smug grin.
“…Normal marriages are about love,” Kerry said quietly, before checking to see no one else in the cafe could overhear her. “Gay ‘marriages’ are only about sex.”
“So- so you think gay people are incapable of falling in love?” Amy asked incredulously.
“The whole point of getting married is to start a family,” Kerry said firmly.
“I’m sure you can see the irony of us conceiving a child out of wedlock, then,” Amy retorted.
“…I think you should leave,” Kerry snarled. “Say goodbye to Jade, and get the hell out of my sight!”
“If you insist,” Amy mumbled, every nerve ending in her body urging her to yell and scream at her ex-partner as her rational mind reminded her that if she did, she'd likely never see her daughter again. “I just hope you’re not poisoning her mind by teaching her that shit about gay people. God knows what you’ll end up teaching her about trans people…” Amy didn’t turn around as she returned to the table and kissed her daughter goodbye, before heading out of the café with her parents. As she climbed into her father’s car, though, Amy let out a long, pained groan, which only got louder when she looked at the empty car seat next to her.
“…Another falling-out, then?” Amy’s father asked as the family headed back home.
“Not exactly a wild guess, that,” Amy replied with a sigh.
“I wish you and Kerry would find a way to get along better, if just for Jade’s sake,” Amy’s mother chastised her daughter.
“Not likely to happen while I’m not able to tell Jade who I really am,” Amy sighed. “I mean, I don’t LIKE the situation as it is, but I- I can’t afford to risk not being able to see her again. And- well, Kerry IS Jade’s mother, so it’s not like she shouldn’t have a say in how she’s raised…”
“Kerry doesn’t have a problem taking child support from you each month, though,” Mr Harris said darkly. “Though I suppose with your job, challenging for custody of Jade isn’t really an option.”
“Not with where I live currently, anyway,” Amy said as she thought about her flatmates in London- particularly the one with whom she’d recently been intimate.
Amy knew she loved Sophie at the very least as a friend, which made Kerry’s words sting all the more. The two same-sex weddings that she’d been to- Jessica and Paige’s and Ellen and Amelie’s reception- had been celebrations of love, not sex or even lust. Amy was certain that if she ever married, it would be for love rather than mere physical attraction, but her only romantic ‘encounter’ in almost a year had been a night of drunken lust- a night that might have ruined one of the closest friendships she’d ever had. Consciously, Amy knew that Kerry was talking nonsense, but subconsciously, she wondered if she did care more about physical love than emotional love…
“Do you want me to get that, honey?” Annabelle asked, startling Sophie as the galley’s call light illuminated.
“Hm?” Sophie replied, before grimacing as she saw the light. “Oh, umm, no, I can get it, just let me get my hat on…”
“I’ll get it, my hat’s already on, it’s fine,” Annabelle said, giving her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You’ve been distracted all day, honey, both to AND from Brussels. Is everything okay?”
“I- I’m fine, honestly,” Sophie insisted, even though inside, she was just as conflicted as Amy- not to mention frustrated by not even being able to speak to her upon her return to the flat.
Sophie let out a long sigh as she arrived home from her flight to find the flat deserted. After pulling on her comfortable flannel pyjamas, Sophie flopped down on the sofa and switched on the television, but before long her attention was drawn to her phone, specifically the text message that she'd seen Amy had read, but not replied to.
Sophie spent the next twenty minutes agonising over whether or not to send another text message, and if she did, what she should say. However, every time she went to type something, her brain bombarded her with a million questions. Should she say she was sorry for what happened? Should she say she enjoyed what happened? Should she admit she couldn’t even remember what happened? Did what happened even happen at all? With a yell of frustration, Sophie hurled her phone onto a nearby cushion and let out a long, pained groan. She loved Amy, not just as a friend, but something more than that- however whether that meant ‘as a lover’ was something Sophie couldn’t know for certain without talking to one person- and that person was conspicuous by their absence.
Seeking a greater distraction than Christmas television, Sophie changed out of her pyjamas and into a comfortable pair of jeans and a figure-hugging sweatshirt, before pulling on a pair of comfortable low-heeled knee-high boots, grabbing her handbag and heading out of her front door.
A short taxi ride later, Sophie was at a place that had become like another home to her- and the noise coming from inside assured her that she wouldn’t be short of distractions that night.
“You’re a bum, you’re a punk!” The brown-haired woman yelled into her microphone as the pub’s customers listened intently.
“You’re an old slut on junk!” The blond man retorted into his microphone. “Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed.”
“You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy braggart!” The woman angrily snapped. “Happy Christmas your arse, I pray god it’s our last!”
“The boys from the NYPD choir still singing ‘Galway Bay’,” the duo sang together, “and the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day!”
As the band’s tall, long-haired violinist played his solo, Sophie made her way to the bar, where she was greeted by the face she was hoping to see most that night.
“Oh, hi Soph!” The eager voice of Rachel Harrison said. “Come for the show?”
“Came for some company, actually,” Sophie replied. “Hayley’s visiting her father in Bristol overnight, Francine’s in Paris- with her father, heh. And Amy…”
“Amy…” Rachel replied, confused by her friend’s hesitation. “No, wait- don’t tell me- she’s with her father too?”
“…And her mother as well,” Sophie replied, earning a chuckle from her friend. “So, I’m kinda at a loose end and needed some company.”
“Not that I don’t appreciate your custom, but what’s wrong with your parents?” Rachel asked. “You’re, like, fully reconciled with them, aren’t you? Out and everything?”
“Well- yes,” Sophie replied. “But- ugh. I’m seeing them on Boxing Day and I kinda needed something a bit, well, ‘louder’.”
“Well, you’re definitely in the right place for that,” Rachel said as the song ended and the band announced a short intermission. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Umm, just a Diet Coke please,” Sophie replied, grimacing as she remembered how inebriated she’d been at the wedding reception. “Got a, umm, got a flight tomorrow.”
“Ah, okay,” Rachel said. “Anywhere nice?”
“Brussels,” Sophie replied. “Been there today and the next two days.”
“Ugh, Christmas Day flights,” Rachel spat. “I do NOT miss those. I bet you won’t either, when you leave the airline?”
“They aren’t exactly a highlight,” Sophie snorted in reply. “I get that they need to be crewed, though.”
“If only you had another career to fall back on?” Rachel asked with a wink that made Sophie giggle. “It wouldn’t surprise me if, after you become a world-famous author, you still keep a replica of the uniform just for old times’ sake. Actually, how old are you next birthday?”
“Twenty-six,” Sophie replied. “And it’s in July, which is too hot for the uniforms at the best of times, let alone a costume party!”
“Spoilsport,” Rachel playfully chastised her friend. “Well, better leave you with your drink, I’ve got other customers to serve, heh!”
“Where’s your fella?” Sophie asked. “Isn’t he the regular barman?”
“Usually,” Rachel replied with a playful roll of her eyes, before pointing to the stage, where her husband was holding a tambourine while the rest of the band launched into a rendition of Roy Wood's 'I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day'.
Sophie had a smile on her face as she watched the rest of the ‘gig’, before calling for a taxi home and getting an early night. The night out hadn’t solved any of Sophie’s problems, but it had given her a much-needed distraction from her problems, leaving her less distracted on her flights to and from Belgium the following day.
And, much to Sophie’s relief, when she returned home after her flight on Christmas Eve, it wasn't to an empty flat.
“Hey Soph!” Hayley said with a wide grin as she greeted her flatmate with a tight hug. “How was Brussels?”
“Belgian,” Sophie replied with a stuck-out tongue. “How’s your father doing? Okay, I hope?”
“Yeah, she’s doing fine,” Hayley replied with a smile. “Lucy didn’t come down to Bristol to meet us again, but I didn’t really expect her to, so- yeah. Still, there’ll be plenty of opportunities to catch up next year. Next decade, heh!”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled as she made her and her flatmate a cup of tea and sat down on the sofa. “God knows at the start of the 2010s, I would NOT have been able to predict how I'd end the decade, heh!”
“Me either,” Hayley sighed. “I mean, I’d hoped, but- heh. Safe to say it’s not been plain sailing, but I- I’m happy with the way things turned out. If I’d still been closeted, or worse yet, not able to be Hayley at all, even part-time, I- well, I don’t even want to think about it. And more to the point, I don’t need to, either!”
“Yeah,” Sophie chuckled.
“So…” Hayley teased. “How about you, Soph? Any regrets? Or any, like, ‘New Decade Resolutions’?” Well, that’s the question, Sophie thought to herself as she mulled over her answer.
“No regrets at all about becoming ‘Sophie’,” the brown-haired woman truthfully replied. “As wary as I was at first, it- it’s really opened my eyes to what my life could be. And, yes, made the best friends I could ever hope for, hehe!”
“Team ASH forever!” Hayley cheered as she sat down next to Sophie and playfully cuddled into her. As Hayley held her, Sophie allowed herself to wonder whether or not she'd feel the same thing for her as she did for Amy- after all, Hayley was an attractive young woman in her own right, and was also taller, slimmer and younger than Amy. However, as much as it frustrated her, Sophie was forced to admit to herself that Hayley's cuddle, as intimate as it may have been, was nothing more than a friendly gesture to her. Whereas if Amy had cuddled her, Sophie's feelings would've been a LOT stronger...
“As for resolutions…” Sophie mused. “Never really been a fan of them, heh. If I’m going to do something, I’m not going to wait until January before I do it.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Hayley sighed happily. “Does- does that include leaving the airline? Because, you know, your second book, like, that’s got to be nearly complete, and- yeah.” Sophie bit her lip as she detected the sadness in her friend’s voice.
“…Probably,” Sophie sighed. “I think this will be my last Christmas with the airline, but not, you know, the last as part of Team ASH. When I say ‘Team ASH forever', I mean it.”
“Me too,” Hayley said with a grin. “And I’m sure Amy feels the same way too.”
“Yeah,” Sophie whispered, as she wondered whether or not Amy did indeed feel the same way- both about her and about 'Team ASH'. And moreover, whether or not 'Team ASH' would survive their one-night stand...
Sophie and Hayley headed to bed early and woke up early the following morning, not just because they had flights to catch but also to exchange their gifts. Neither woman had spent huge amounts of money on the other, but both appreciated the gifts that they received- Hayley was delighted with her smartphone case and Harrods voucher, while Sophie greatly appreciated the denim mini skirt and scarf Hayley bought her. Sophie and Hayley weren’t able to enjoy their gifts for long, however, and after both women showered and dressed, they headed out of their flat and before long found themselves walking through the vast concourse of Heathrow airport. A short while after that, both women had changed into their trademark blue uniforms and were airborne, heading eastward toward the capital of Belgium.
Hayley’s company along with the relaxed nature of the flights to and from Brussels helped to take Sophie’s mind off of her dilemma, and she was able to concentrate on her work free from distractions. When she and Hayley returned to their flat, though, Sophie’s stress came rushing straight back to her.
“Oh, hi girls!” Amy said with a nervous giggle as she greeted her flatmates, pointedly not meeting Sophie’s gaze. “Oh- I mean, of course, Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas!” Hayley cheered as she, Amy and Sophie shared a group hug- though Hayley didn’t notice how her two flatmates were only barely touching each other.
“I’ve put our dinner in the oven,” Amy explained. “Should be ready once you girls have got your make-up off and changed into something a bit more comfortable, heh!”
“Ooh, before that, though…” Hayley squeaked excitedly as she reached under the sofa for three identically wrapped packages, one of which she kept for herself while handing the other two to Amy and Sophie.
“What- another present?” Sophie asked, before grinning as she and her flatmates unwrapped three identical short, tight turtlenecked sweater dresses, each with a Christmas-themed monogram of their initials on the front.
“Aww, this is so cute!” Amy gushed as she held the dress against her svelte frame.
“I TOTALLY want photos of the three of us in these dresses,” Hayley said. “And if I’m going to have my photo taken, I’m damn sure wearing make-up, so- yeah. Can we get these photos first before we get comfortable and eat dinner?”
“Of course we can!” Amy giggled. “I’m going to need to get some slap on myself, though- and make-up and turtlenecks is always a messy combination…”
“Meh, we can always wash them,” Hayley replied with a shrug. “And on that note, dibs on the bathroom first!” Amy and Sophie both giggled as their overly exuberant flatmate headed into the flat’s small bathroom, however, the atmosphere immediately turned awkward when they met each other's gaze.
“So- umm, hi,” Sophie mumbled as she stared at the floor.
“Hi,” Amy mumbled, before grimacing. “Ugh, Soph, I- I’m sorry I did one on Sunday, I- ugh. I needed time to think, like, about what I wanted, what I really wanted… We still really need to talk, don’t we?”
“Well- yeah…” Sophie replied. “Christmas night isn’t really the best time, though… I think we have a lot we need to say to each other.”
“Yep,” Amy said. “And I- ugh. I kinda regret what happened, but at the same time, I don’t regret it, you know?”
“I think I know what you mean,” Sophie sighed. “I mean, if I could go back in time so that it never happened, then maybe, but, well, that’s not an option, so-“
“Yeah,” Amy sighed. “Heh, this is taking ‘fuck around and find out’ to new levels. And if I could, like, steal a TARDIS and go back in time- well, yeah.”
“But you- you said you were the one who couldn’t, like, move on and pretend it didn’t happen,” Sophie said.
“Yeah,” Amy said with another sigh. “And I can’t, and I get that what I’m saying contradicts itself, but- ugh. I do- I do have feelings for you, Sophie. I just- I just don’t know what they are.”
“…Same here,” Sophie sighed. “So the question, I guess, is- where do we go from here?”
“Okay, who’s next?” Hayley asked with a grin as she skipped out of the bathroom wearing her new sweater dress. “…What?”
“Oh- umm, nothing,” Sophie mumbled. “I- I’ll just go and get changed…”
“She- she had a bad flight,” Amy explained.
“…I was on the same flight as her,” Hayley retorted. “And it was a really quiet one for a change. Seriously, Amy, are- are you two fighting or something?”
“It-“ Amy began, before sighing loudly. “If you must know, I- I had a fight with Kerry. Yes, again. Sophie was just- well- yeah. Kinda feel guilty for, like, spoiling her Christmas, and now yours too…”
“Aww,” Hayley sighed, before giving her friend a tight hug. “You know you don’t need to worry about that, right? We’re team ASH, when one of us has a problem, we ALL help out, right?”
“Yeah,” Amy sighed happily, even as she felt her stomach churn for her half-lie to her friend.
After Sophie and Amy has both changed into their new dresses (with Sophie also pulling on the brand-new knee-high boots she received as a gift from Amelie), they took the photos that Hayley had requested before settling down to watch television and eat their Christmas dinner.
As they relaxed following their dinner, though, both Sophie and Amy wondered whether or not they could go back to the way things were between them, and whether or not anything would ever be the same again. Amy wondered whether or not she could truly love Sophie if it meant loving ‘James’ as well, while Sophie wondered whether or not she wanted a relationship with Amy- or whether or not she would ever be able to tell her that mere minutes before they slept together, she'd been considering a relationship with someone else entirely.
Most of all, Amy and Sophie wondered whether or not ‘Team ASH’ would be a thing for much longer…
“Okay,” Sophie sighed into her phone as she laid in bed. “Thanks for letting me know. Stay safe.”
“Will do,” the receptionist said as she ended the call, leaving Sophie to groan with frustration as she stared at the ceiling. It had been over two weeks since she’d last had a shift from the airline, and while she was certain she wasn’t being persecuted (unlike when her first book had been published), it came as little to comfort to her- much like the knowledge that while she wasn’t going anywhere, nobody else was either.
‘Stay at home’, the Prime Minister had said, not just to Sophie, but to the entire nation. And while the early stages of the covid pandemic had already caused passenger numbers to decline, the start of the national lockdown had seen them plummet, along with the number of flights operated by the airline. And where there was little demand for flights, there was little need for flight attendants, leaving Sophie stuck staring at the same four walls day in and day out for the previous fourteen days- and at the same faces as well.
With Francine having returned to Paris at her father’s insistence at the start of the pandemic, it left just Sophie, Hayley and Amy in the flat- and ever since their ‘encounter’ at Christmas, tensions between Sophie and Amy had only grown.
Outwardly- more for Hayley’s sake than anything else- Amy and Sophie had carried on as normal, pretending that nothing had happened between the two of them. They went to work as normal, attended the same parties as normal and even attended the Sunday morning dance lessons as though nothing had happened. However, both girls were keenly aware that something HAD indeed happened, something significant. And as much as they tried to pretend, to convince themselves that it was a one-off and meant nothing, they knew deep down that it meant more to both of them than just a night of drunken foolishness. However, rather than confront their feelings, they instead chose to avoid each other, and while that tactic had initially worked, it had proven to be increasingly difficult when neither girl was able to leave the flat…
“Morning!” Hayley said to Sophie as she emerged from her bedroom clad in her dressing gown. “Sleep well?”
“Meh,” Sophie replied with a shrug. “Just had a call from the airline, no prizes for guessing what they said.”
“Yeah, they called me ten minutes ago,” Hayley sighed. “And, like, I don’t mind the occasional day off, but I DO mind losing out on pay, not to mention the fact that I can’t actually do anything on my day off, heh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie said while fidgeting awkwardly, an action that made her flatmate sigh.
“Got another Zoom meeting with your publisher today?” Hayley asked sympathetically.
“Potential publisher,” Sophie replied. “But, well- yep. Didn’t, you know, want to rub it in anyone’s face… Obviously I’ll take the call in my bedroom.”
“You don’t need to on my behalf,” Hayley said softly. “It’s interesting, actually, seeing what goes into getting a book published.”
“Oh?” Sophie asked teasingly. “Thinking of writing one yourself?”
“Well,” Hayley mumbled bashfully. “Reckon anyone would be interested in the autobiography of a transgender woman from Nottingham whose dad is also a transgender woman?”
“I’d read it,” Sophie replied with a warm smile that made her friend giggle. “Hell, I’d help you write it too!”
“Not like I’ve got anything better to do with my time right now,” Hayley chuckled, smiling as her bedroom door opened and her roommate emerged, wrapped in her favourite fluffy pink dressing gown. What Hayley didn’t notice, though, was the immediate awkwardness between her two flatmates.
“Morning,” Amy mumbled as she grabbed her coffee and sat down opposite Sophie at the kitchen table.
“Morning,” Sophie said quietly. “Ha- have you had the call yet?”
“Yep,” Amy replied, before sighing. “No work today, yay. Not that I love the work, you understand, but-“
“You love being paid?” Hayley asked, smiling sympathetically as her roommate nodded.
“I love being able to pay child support as well, as odd as that might sound,” Amy said with a tired chuckle. “I almost wish the airline did properly furlough us rather than keep us hanging like this, heh.”
“I know what you mean,” Hayley sighed. “Still, at least they’re still giving us SOME wages, even if it is only a retainer. Not that we can spend it anywhere, heh.”
“My Amazon account’s been hit pretty hard over the last few days,” Sophie confessed. “Okay, so their clothes aren’t exactly high fashion, but it doesn’t matter much when you can’t wear them anywhere, right?”
“Not even those ankle boots with the chunky 5-inch heels you bought the other day?” Hayley teased, giggling as Sophie blushed. “Oh come on, don’t be so shy, you know you look hot in them. And girly, and sexy, and smart, and-“
“Yes, you can borrow them,” Sophie interrupted. “Aren’t you lucky we have the same shoe size?”
“Says the woman who wore my Guccis to Nikki Phillips-Thomas’s birthday party last month,” Hayley retorted, sharing a giggle with her flatmate as Amy sighed again. “Oh come on, Amy. It’s not our fault you’re a size 5 when we’re 8s. If anything, it makes life even easier for you what way, like, finding shoes in size 8 can be a real pain at times.”
“Like those ridiculous looking ones you bought in January, you know, the ‘heels with no heel’?” Sophie reminded Amy, who forced a smile on her face even though both girls knew their teasing was partially to 'keep up appearances' for their flatmate.
“Didn’t stop you from looking for a pair for yourself, did it?” Amy reminded Hayley, who giggled before sighing sadly.
“Well, looks like none of us will be wearing any heels any time soon,” Hayley sighed. “Though I will be wearing trainers later on today if anyone wants to join me for a run?”
“I’m good, thanks,” Amy replied.
“Soph?” Hayley enquired.
“I, umm, I’ll pass, thanks,” Sophie mumbled. “Got to, you know, wait for my Zoom call.”
“Oh, the publisher?” Amy asked.
“Potential publisher,” Sophie mumbled. “But they are really interested in the book so, well- yeah. Reckon it might be out by summer, even. Which means I will be too. Like- from the airline, heh.” And from whatever it is we have going on, Sophie thought to herself as her gaze briefly met Amy’s.
“If the virus continues the way it’s going, I wouldn’t be surprised if we all were,” Amy said as she deliberately avoided Sophie’s gaze. “Masson’s got to be losing bucketloads of money each day, so it can’t be profitable to keep the London hub open, right? I mean, who knows how long we’ll all be in lockdown?”
“Yeah, but Heathrow’s still the busiest airport in Europe,” Hayley reminded her friend. “Though admittedly, that isn’t saying a lot right now…”
“Ugh, anyway, enough- enough pessimism,” Amy scoffed as she finished her breakfast and flopped onto the sofa. “What’s on TV today?”
“We can finish off the Mandalorian if you want?” Hayley replied.
“This is the way,” Amy replied, smirking as she switched on the TV while her friends sat down on the sofa with her- though Amy couldn’t help but notice that she and Sophie were sat at opposite ends.
After breakfast, while Hayley was out on her run, Sophie returned to her bedroom where she gazed into her drawers and her wardrobe, but couldn’t muster up the enthusiasm to change out of her pyjamas and into any ‘normal’ clothes. As so often happened, though, Sophie let out a smirk about how the many skirts, girly tops and trousers in her drawers had become ‘normal’ to her, while what little remained of ‘James’s’ clothes was relegated to the bottom drawer of her wardrobe. However, even though she only presented as ‘James’ no more than a handful of times each month, it was an aspect of her identity that she couldn’t bear to part from.
Having seemingly unlimited free time had caused Sophie to be even more introspective than usual. As she reviewed every aspect of her life, though- from her career (or rather, careers) to her friends and family, to her very identity- she found that the more she thought about it, the more satisfied she was with her life. When she first became ‘Sophie’, she found herself feeling not just uncomfortable in the clothes, but in having to present as a woman. And she was never more uncomfortable than when having to present as female around other transgender women. However, as time went by, Sophie found herself thinking more and more as not just ‘a girl’ but ‘one of the girls’. And what helped Sophie feel like this more than anything else was the love and acceptance that had been shown to her by her friends- and more significantly, the fact that the love and acceptance wasn’t conditional on her remaining as ‘Sophie’. They had all made it clear that they would accept ‘James’ as their friend just as easily as they had accepted ‘Sophie’. All, that is, except Amy.
Ever since her ‘encounter’ with Amy, Sophie had found herself contemplating her love life more and more. ‘James’ had had the occasional girlfriend but nothing serious, and as she lived more of her life as ‘Sophie’, she realised that her ‘situation’ didn’t mean that a girlfriend was out of the question for her- the example of her friends Natalie and Zoe had been all the proof she'd needed of that. However, despite their friends’ teasing, Sophie had genuinely never expected Amy to be the first girl she 'got' with. As the months passed, though, Sophie realised that in many ways, Amy was the perfect girl- accepting and understanding of Sophie’s situation, had a great sense of humour, was very good looking- cute, even- and was extremely fun company to be with. Or at least, she used to be. As much as she wished she could, Sophie knew that she couldn’t just turn back time and ‘unsleep’ with Amy- however, she was also wary of falling any deeper in love with her…
With a tired sigh, Sophie retrieved her phone from her nightstand and dialled the number of a person she knew would help to take her mind off her stress.
“Hello?” The voice of Sophie’s mother answered after three rings. The only person in the whole of London who still uses a landline, Sophie thought to herself as she took a deep breath.
“Hi mum,” Sophie said nonchalantly.
“James!” Pamela said in a suddenly excited tone. “Sorry- or should that be ‘Sophie’?”
“Either’s fine, really,” Sophie replied. “That still applies going forward as well, if it makes it any easier.”
“Yes, I remember what you said,” Pamela said with a light chuckle. “How are you, anyway? We only spoke last on Friday, is everything okay?”
“Well, everything’s okay for ME,” Sophie replied. “In a general sense, well, I’m sure you watch the news.”
“It’s hard to avoid the news lately,” Pamela said softly. “Are you keeping safe? I assume you’re not getting as many shifts with the airline?”
“I’m not getting ANY,” Sophie clarified. “Most of my colleagues maybe get a couple per week if they’re lucky, and while I’m on much better terms with the new manager of the Heathrow hub than the old one, it’s not like she’s going to bend the rules to get me more work. And- well, it- it’s not like I’ve asked her to, either.”
“Oh,” Pamela said. “Have- have you been working on your new book in your free time, then?”
“If by ‘working’ you mean ‘writing’, then no, it’s pretty much done,” Sophie replied. “But yes, I’ve been editing it and tweaking it every opportunity I get, and speaking to publishers as well.”
“Good,” Pamela said. “I’m looking forward to reading it! I bet you’re also looking forward to being free from the airline too, right?”
“Well- yes and no,” Sophie sighed. “I’m not going to miss the work, these last two weeks have proved that, but I will miss the job, if that makes any sense?”
“I think I understand what you mean,” Pamela said. “I imagine you’ll miss being able to travel, as well?”
“Give it a few weeks and I think we’ll ALL miss that,” Sophie sighed.
“Well, make sure at least that you get some fresh air while you’re stuck inside,” Pamela advised. “We don’t want you getting cabin fever!” Might be a bit too late for that, Sophie thought to herself as she thought about the ginger-haired girl in her living room.
“I’ll try,” Sophie sighed. “How’s dad?”
“He’s doing fine,” Pamela replied. “He’s only just got his home workstation set up today so he’s sorting a few things out, then he’ll be back- well, ‘back’ to work. Luckily, he doesn’t need to be on an aeroplane in order to do his job, heh!”
“Yeah,” Sophie said as she relaxed back onto her bed, listening intently to her mother's tales of life stuck at home and trying to forget her own stresses.
As Sophie was talking to her mother, Amy was laid on the sofa facing the same problem with her own erratic thoughts. However, while her mind kept drifting back toward her relationship with Sophie, it wasn’t the only thing distracting her. In February, Amy had celebrated the third anniversary of her beginning hormone replacement therapy. In the weeks leading up to the anniversary, Amy’s counsellor had discussed with her options for SRS, and both women had set their sights on the operation being done at the start of September, so that Amy would be back on her feet by Christmas.
The pandemic, however, had caused all of those plans to be discarded. The overwhelming demand put on hospitals by covid had resulted in operations deemed ‘low priority’ being postponed if not outright cancelled, and even though it was something Amy thought about daily, her SRS had been one of the first procedures to be set aside. The frustration and stress she felt over the uncertainty regarding her operation, though, was second to another vital aspect of her life that had been affected by the pandemic.
The order to stay at home had meant that Amy would no longer be able to regularly travel to Kent to see her family- more specifically, her daughter. Jade's mother had insisted that Amy stay away while travel restrictions were in place, but Amy’s instinct told her that she would use every excuse she could to keep her away from their daughter long after the threat posed by covid had passed. And while Amy was determined to let nothing come between her and her daughter, she was faced by the grim possibility that she may be powerless to stop Kerry- and that Jade may never accept her as her father rather than her aunt.
And worst of all, Amy found herself clueless as to how she felt about Sophie. Did she want a relationship with her? If so, what did she want, a romantic relationship, or just 'friends with benefits'? Did she even want the 'benefits', or to just remain friends with Sophie? Did she even want to remain friends with Sophie? All of these questions plagued Amy's mind as the flat's front door opened and its third occupant walked through, kicking off her trainers en route to the kitchen.
“Hi honey, I’m home!” Hayley said, earning a tired grunt from Amy in return.
“Good run?” The ginger girl asked, not looking up as Hayley kicked off her trainers and headed into the flat’s small kitchen area.
“Meh, it was okay, thanks,” Hayley replied with a shrug. “Hardly bumped into anybody, though. It’s eerie, you know? London, probably the busiest city in the world, and the streets are practically empty.”
“Yeah, well, hopefully not for long,” Amy said, before grimacing. “Umm, Hayley, you- you’ve kinda, umm…”
“…What?” Hayley asked as she stood in front of her friend, before looking down and blushing with embarrassment. “…Shit.”
“Yeah,” Amy grimaced as Hayley reached into her leggings to re-tuck herself. “I’m guessing the gaffs aren’t comfortable to exercise in?”
“They’re not comfortable to do much of ANYTHING in,” Hayley retorted. “Ugh, I’ve exercised with this tuck a hundred times without a problem… I’ll be glad when I don’t have to, you know, ‘tuck’ anything.”
“Yeah, I would’ve been too,” Amy sighed as she rolled over on the sofa, tears slowly trickling from her eyes.
“Ugh, Amy…” Hayley said, tears forming in her own eyes. “I- I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I should have-“
“No- no, I’m sorry,” Amy interrupted with a sigh. “I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself, heh. I mean, I guess Annabelle’s had it worse, she was due to go in in November, it got postponed for 6 months, and then we all know what happened next. God knows how many other ‘girls like us’ had their operations ruined by this fucking virus, heh.”
“Too many,” Hayley mumbled. “I mean, I’M two years now, so technically, I can- well, not ‘get the ball rolling’, but you know what I mean, right?”
“Think you’ve had enough of ‘rolling balls’ today,” Amy teased, smiling as Hayley threw a cushion at her face. “Seriously, you’d have thought that someone would’ve made, like, ‘athletic supports’ for trans girls before now.”
“Yeah, but they’re usually called ‘jockstraps’ or ‘dance belts’,” Hayley sighed. “Ever seen a male ballet dancer wearing a dance belt? They look like they’ve stuffed a grapefruit down their tights.”
“…Spend much time looking at male ballet dancers, do you?” Amy teased.
“Uh- hell yeah!” Hayley giggled. “Some of them are HOT, not to mention fit, hehe! I wouldn’t mind squeezing myself into a leotard and getting chucked around by one of them!”
“Yeah, well, given that you ‘struggled’ with leggings, I have bad news for you regarding leotards,” Amy teased smiling as another cushion flew her way.
“Hilarious woman,” Hayley snorted. “And you know I never ‘struggle’ with leotards, not during the Sunday morning classes anyway. Though by the time they come back, we’ll probably all have had SRS, heh.”
“Not sure whether that’s optimistic or pessimistic, heh,” Amy chuckled. “Though if you’re really missing it, I can go and grab a leotard and a pair of pink tights and we can have a lesson now?”
“Umm, I’ve just come back from a run?” Hayley retorted. “All I want to do is sit back and relax, heh. Maybe fire up the Switch?”
“You can if you want,” Amy said with a sigh. “I think I’m going to head back to our room, have a bit of a lie down.”
“You’ve… literally just been lying on the sofa,” Hayley said. “And just offered to do a ballet dance for me.”
“Yeah, but- ugh, never mind,” Amy sighed.
“Amy, is- is everything alright?” Hayley asked softly.
“Is ANYTHING alright?” Amy shrugged, before heading back to her bedroom and collapsing on her bed with a long, pained moan…
The three women remained in their respective rooms for the rest of the morning, before eventually converging in the living room for lunch- though neither Amy nor Sophie felt much like talking, which didn't go unnoticed by their flatmate.
“Here we are, then,” Hayley said as she served up the women’s lunches. “Noodle a la Pot pour trois.”
“Bit of a change from the company cafeteria, but okay,” Sophie said as she tucked in.
“Yeah, well, when we need to watch the pennies…” Hayley shrugged.
“Well- I guess,” Sophie sighed. “Though you’re not doing badly at watching the pounds, heh! How far did you run this morning?”
“Only three miles,” Hayley replied, smirking as she blushed. “And I figure, you know, need to get out of the flat sometimes, and as we’re only meant to be allowed out for exercise, well, yeah.”
“Did you do much sport when you were at school?” Sophie asked.
“Well, the only options were football or rugby, so my answer is HELL no,” Hayley replied with a snort.
“Same here,” Amy said. “One sports day my teacher decided that as there wasn’t anyone from our house doing the high jump, I’d be the ideal candidate for it.”
“…Despite only being 5’ 4”?” Hayley asked.
“Oh, I was shorter than that back then,” Amy snorted. “Fortunately, I didn’t give a shit about sports day, so I just wandered off when it was my turn. I got a detention for it, but I didn’t give a shit about that either.”
“How did that teacher react when they found out you weren’t, you know, ‘eligible’ for boys’ sports anymore?” Sophie asked.
“I don’t think they even know,” Amy replied with a shrug. “God knows I didn’t tell them. I don’t think anyone from that school knows- well, apart from Kerry, obviously, who did probably tell a lot of people… ugh.” Sophie frowned as she saw her friend’s face fall- she knew just how sensitive a topic Amy's ex-partner was for the ginger-haired girl.
“I- I’m sorry,” Sophie mumbled.
“Nah, it’s not your fault,” Amy said, even as she struggled to maintain eye contact with her one-time lover. “So, go on then, I’ve shared some of my horror stories from school, now it’s your turn!”
“Hardly anything to tell, really,” Hayley mumbled. “My sister was one of the popular girls at school, so I had to put up with them picking on me all the time. Then my dad came out, and it just got worse- but only for me, not for her.”
“…Ah, umm, okay,” Amy mumbled. “Sorry I asked…”
“I think we’re all a bit, you know, too stressed to have this kind of conversation, heh,” Sophie chuckled. “And for the record, I wasn’t the most popular kid at school, and I’m certainly not after becoming ‘Sophie’. But I’ve made much better friends as ‘Sophie’ than I ever did as ‘James’.”
“And once again, the ‘S’ is what holds Team ASH together, hehe!” Hayley giggled as she gave Sophie a gentle hug, while Amy forced a smile on her face.
“Well, I can’t for long, I- I need to finish this, then I’ve got my zoom meeting,” Sophie said quietly.
“Just as long as my high jump story doesn’t make it into your book,” Amy cautioned, forcing her smile wider as Sophie let out a tired chuckle.
“You can trust me to be discreet,” Sophie said with a knowing smile that Amy mirrored. God knows you of all people can… Sophie thought to herself.
Later that evening, Sophie, Hayley and Amy all sat in front of the TV, eating dinner while watching the daily coronavirus briefing from Downing Street. After dinner, the three women retreated to separate parts of the flat to be by themselves, but it wasn’t long before Hayley's curiosity got the better of her regarding what Sophie had said earlier in the day.
“Oh hey, Soph,” Hayley said as she nervously approached the other brunette. “I almost forgot to ask- how did it go with your publisher- sorry, potential publisher today?” Sophie bit her lip to try to control her emotions as she considered her reply.
“Well… let’s just say they’re not a ‘potential’ publisher anymore,” Sophie replied, smirking as a confused look spread across her friend’s face. “They’re an ACTUAL publisher, hehe!”
“Oh my god, Soph!” Hayley squeaked, motioning to hug Sophie, only to pause. “…Screw it, we live together, we’re fine!” Sophie giggled as she shared a hug with her flatmate, though she couldn’t help but let out a sad sigh. “…Soph? Are- are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Sophie sighed. “It’s just- heh. They say they’re going to publish in summer, like, July or August, which means that as of this summer- like, July or August- I will no longer be working for the airline. I mean, yes, I get on a lot better with Marie than Alana- hell, I think we all do, but- but their ‘threat’ was pretty clear. Publish or push drinks trolleys, but not both.”
“That doesn’t sound like much of a choice to me,” Hayley chuckled. “God knows, if I had that choice- yeah. I’d be stuffing the uniform in a locker and running, heh.”
“Yep, same here,” Sophie sighed. “If it didn’t mean also running away from you and Amy. But- yeah. All good things must come to an end, right?”
“Not Team ASH,” Hayley said confidently. “We’re gonna be around forever.” I wish I shared your confidence, Sophie thought to herself as she gazed over at Amy, who was reading and listening to music by herself in a corner of the room. “Besides,” Hayley continued, bringing Sophie’s attention back to the conversation, “I’m gonna need someone to nurse me back to health after my SRS!”
“…Why do I get the feeling this is going to end up with me wearing a costume?” Sophie sighed, earning a smirk from Hayley.
“Do you WANT to wear a sexy nurse’s dress?” Hayley asked.
“…Maybe,” Sophie teased, earning a loud squeal of laughter from her friend, who rushed over to their flatmate and shook her to get her attention.
“What?” Amy said, not even trying to disguise her irritation at being interrupted.
“Our Sophie has two pieces of good news for us,” Hayley giggled as she led Amy to where Sophie was stood, unaware of the awkwardness between the two women.
“Well- yeah, kind of,” Sophie chuckled nervously as her friends stared expectantly at her. “My- umm, that is, I- I’ve got a publisher for my book.”
“Oh, congratulations!” Amy said with a happy giggle. “Do you know when it’s coming out?”
“Summer,” Sophie replied. “Probably July or August, they- they’re kinda having problems, like, delays with their usual process ‘cause of- well, ‘cause of the obvious, heh.”
“Makes sense, I guess,” Amy said, before biting her lip nervously. “So… what- what’s the other piece of good news?”
“Soph’s going to be our own personal nursemaid when we have SRS!” Hayley said, making Sophie roll her eyes while Amy forced out a giggle, before frowning.
“IF we have SRS, more like,” Amy sighed, earning a sympathetic smile from her flatmates.
“This virus isn’t going to last forever,” Hayley said softly as she wrapped an arm around the ginger-haired girl’s shoulders. “As much as it feels like it right now, heh.”
“I know that, believe me,” Amy said, before frowning. “It’s just typical that what should be life-affirming procedures for girls like us is treated as ‘low priority’. I mean, okay, we’re not going to die immediately if we don’t have SRS, but- you know? Every second that I have an ‘outie’ instead of an ‘innie’ is a second that I’m being reminded that I’m ‘wrong’.” Sophie nodded in agreement with her friend- she'd heard the same story countless times while conducting interviews for her book, and while she empathised with every trans girl she spoke to, Amy's pain felt somehow more real to Sophie.
“Believe me, I know how difficult this is,” Hayley said softly. “Hell, you saw it for yourself this morning!” Sophie frowned with confusion at Hayley’s statement, pondering under what circumstances Amy would need or even want to ‘see for herself’ where Hayley was concerned. Sophie also wondered why she was struck with a sudden pang of jealousy…
“I guess,” Amy shrugged. “Ugh, I mean, I- I am happy for you, Soph. For the- for the book deal, I mean. Even if it does mean, like, no more ‘Team ASH’ at work, heh.”
“But we will always be friends,” Sophie asked, trying her hardest to make her reply sound like a statement rather than a question.
“Of- of course!” Amy chuckled nervously. “Team ASH forever, right?”
“Too right!” Hayley giggled. “And I- I think we should celebrate, you know? Just ‘cause we can’t actually go anywhere, doesn’t mean we can’t get glammed up and have a fancy night in, right?”
“Ehh… you two can if you want,” Amy said with a sad smile. “I think I’m gonna get an early night, kinda, you know, need to be ready in case I get called in.”
“We really aren’t going to get any shifts, you know?” Hayley said sympathetically.
“…Probably not,” Amy conceded. “But it’d be just my luck if my first shift in ages is one where I’ve got a stinking hangover. That, and- ugh.”
“What- what’s up?” Hayley asked, concerned by her friend's sudden change in attitude.
“I-“ Amy replied, before sighing. “I’m hoping to talk to Jade tomorrow morning. I mean, ‘cause she’s not at school- well, wouldn’t be anyway, as it’s the Easter holidays, and as I can’t go and see her… yeah. I’m also hoping to persuade Kerry to let me tutor her in French, and- heh. The lengths I go to just to see my own daughter…"
“Oh- Amy…” Hayley sighed, leaning in for a hug that the ginger-haired girl gratefully accepted. Sophie bit her lip as she paused, before awkwardly joining in the group hug, even as she felt Amy tense up at her touch.
“Ugh, I- I’ll be fine, really,” Amy said as she wiped tears from her eyes. “Honestly, after I talk to Jade tomorrow, I- I’ll be alright. THEN we can celebrate, right?”
“Sure,” Sophie whispered as she exchanged a furtive glance with the ginger-haired girl.
“And I am happy for you, Soph. Really,” Amy said, though despite her sincere smile, both Amy and Sophie knew there was a lot that both girls still needed to say to each other.
As she had promised, Amy was the first to head to bed later that night, with Hayley and Sophie following shortly afterward. However, Sophie found herself struggling to drift off, which she initially put down to excitement about the publisher, but the more she thought about it, the more she realised she was distracted on what Hayley had said to Amy- and what exactly it was that Hayley had seen. Sophie implicitly trusted both of her friends- after all, she had known Hayley long enough to know when she was being serious or silly, and the way she had worded the comment was far more like the latter than the former. And Sophie desperately wanted to believe that her friends wouldn’t keep anything from her, but was faced with one unavoidable problem- that she and Amy were keeping their ‘dalliance’ secret from Hayley.
What troubled Sophie the most, though, was why she was so worked up about it…
Sophie was once again woken the following morning, by the sound of her phone ringing, and after the brief call ended, she relaxed back into her sheets, frustrated (but not surprised) by the prospect of yet another day cooped up inside her flat. However, as she tried to get back to sleep, Sophie found her rest being disturbed by the sound coming from the living room- though when she heard what was being said, she knew better than to complain about or even interrupt what was going on.
“Hi Jade!” Amy said with a wide grin as the image of her daughter appeared on her laptop screen.
“Hi Auntie Amy!” The little girl replied, unknowingly breaking her father’s heart all over again. “Mummy says you would have come to see us at the weekend, but the virus means you can’t come?”
“I’m afraid so, sweetie,” Amy said with a heavy sigh. “It won’t be safe for me to visit until fewer people are getting poorly. Same with school.”
“I know,” Jade said, her sad sigh breaking her father’s heart even more. “I really miss being able to play with my friends.”
“I know you do, sweetie,” Amy said. “I can’t see my friends either, but this will all be over soon and then we can get back to doing the things we like and seeing the people we love.”
“Does that include daddy?” Jade asked, her face lighting up even as Amy's heart broke even further.
“We- we’ll see,” Amy said, forcing herself to keep smiling despite the anguish she was feeling.
“I asked mummy if I could talk to him on the computer too,” Jade said, “but she said I should ask you about that.” Of course she did, Amy angrily thought to herself.
“Well, he- he doesn’t have great internet connection where he is right now,” Amy replied, biting her lip at the disappointed look on her daughter’s face. “But I know that he loves you very, very much, and he wishes he could speak to you as well.” More than you could ever know, Amy thought to herself.
“Well- okay,” Jade sighed, before immediately perking up again. “Has mummy shared with you the video of me in the school dance yet?”
“Ooh, no, but I’d love to see it!” Amy giggled.
“I can do better than a video!” Jade said with a smug grin as she stood back from the camera and began performing her dance moves, with Amy applauding and cheering every step she took.
Amy spent the next twenty minutes listening intently as her daughter told her stories of her time at school and at home under lockdown, before the child’s mother appeared on screen. Amy’s heart sank as she knew immediately that this meant that her time with Jade was coming to an end, but she maintained a brave face until her daughter was out of sight.
“…Really?” Amy scoffed. “Couldn’t give me more than half an hour?”
“She’s getting enough screen time as it is, now that she has to stay inside all the time,” Kerry retorted. “And besides, as her aunt, you should be grateful for the half hour that you got.”
“Except you and I both know I am NOT just her ‘aunt’,” Amy hissed, her anger levels sharply rising. “And I’d have thought that YOU would be more grateful for the child support I send every month.”
“While you’re still employed, anyway,” Kerry sneered. “Read my lips, ANDY- Jade will never, EVER learn the truth about you. EVER.”
“Well, that’s not your choice to make,” Amy spat. “Or mine, actually. It’s Jade’s. She’s not going to be a little girl forever, and she WILL want to know the truth. And that day will come sooner than you think.” Amy bit her lip as her ex-partner ended the call with a look of pure fury on her face, before sitting back in her chair and letting out a long, pained moan.
Sophie paused as she opened her bedroom door, sensitive to her friend's distress, no matter how regular a thing it had become for her. Not wanting to add further stress to her friend, Sophie tiptoed through the flat’s living area toward the kitchen, before frowning as her friend turned round in her chair and looked at her.
“Ugh, sorry Soph, did I wake you?” Amy asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.
“Oh- umm, no, I- I was awake anyway, the office called…” Sophie replied, biting her lip as her friend tried to compose herself. “Amy, are you- are you okay? ‘Cause you look- umm, no offence, but you- you-“
“I… what?” Amy asked, frowning as Sophie sighed.
“You only wear that dress when you’re in an ‘I need confidence NOW’ mood,” Sophie replied, gesturing to the short but clingy grey t-shirt dress that was hugging Amy’s curves. “That’s your favourite shade of lipstick too, and I’ve only ever seen those shoes once, and that’s when we went clubbing the day after your last run-in with Jade’s mother.”
“Maybe I just felt like wearing them today,” Amy mumbled.
“THOSE shoes?” Sophie gestured, making Amy’s frown deepen as she stared at the brown sandals on her feet- or rather, the blocky 6” heel and the 1.5” platform on the sandals.
“…Okay, maybe I needed a bit of confidence before talking to Kerry, so sue me,” Amy spat. “Do you want to check to see if I’m wearing my favourite bra and thong too?”
“Are you?” Sophie asked, biting her lip as Amy frowned and blushed.
“Maybe,” The ginger-haired woman mumbled. “And how do you know all this about me, anyway?”
“Well, I- I’m a journalist,” Sophie mumbled with a shrug. “I’m, like, it’s my job to notice things. And we HAVE lived together for almost three years.”
“Well- ugh, yeah, I guess,” Amy said, sighing and moaning. “I’m sorry I bit your head off, Soph, I- ugh. Speaking of ‘biting head off’, I- I really hate that things have become THIS awkward between us.”
“This- well, I mean, I, you know, don’t feel awkward right now,” Sophie mumbled. “I didn’t, anyway…”
“…Neither did I,” Amy chuckled. “Maybe we can only properly talk after my psycho ex has, like, sufficiently pissed me off or something.”
“I’d prefer it if that wasn’t the case,” Sophie said softly. “More for your sake than mine, heh.”
“Thanks,” Amy whispered.
“Especially as, like, I dunno how much longer I’ll be around,” Sophie mumbled. “Like, with the book and all that…”
“Don’t- please, just don’t,” Amy said as she sniffed back tears. “That call depressed me enough, heh. Hell, covid is depressing me enough that I- I don’t want to think about life without you in. Or- or you or Hayley, I mean.”
“Yeah…” Sophie whispered as she fidgeted awkwardly. “We- umm…”
“And, like, there’s no guarantee the hub will even stay open much longer,” Amy interrupted. “Like, ‘cause of the virus, the airline must be losing millions per day keeping it open, so- yeah.”
“…Maybe a bit pessimistic,” Sophie said, letting out a tired chuckle as Amy shrugged. “But, I guess, you know, nothing lasts forever. All good things and all that.”
“Not quite,” Amy said, shaking her head. “I’ll always be Jade’s dad forever. Even after transitioning, even after SRS- heh. She’ll forever be my little girl. Heh, even after she’s, like, a mum of her own.”
“Introducing her children to ‘Grandpa Amy’?” Sophie asked, giggling as her friend scowled.
“If these shoes didn’t weigh half a ton each I’d go over there and kick you,” Amy said, before giggling. “I am right, though. Love lasts forever. At least, real love does.”
“What- what about friendship?” Sophie asked nervously.
“…If there’s enough love in the friendship,” Amy mumbled in reply as Sophie bit her lip, trying to prevent herself from hyperventilating as she pondered her next question.
“So, umm, do- do you… do you love me?” Sophie asked, her body trembling with nerves. “Like, as- as a friend, or- or- or, you know, more?”
“I-“ Amy replied, biting her lip as she felt her whole body be gripped with anxiety. “I- umm…”
“N- no, forget I asked,” Sophie said, throwing her hands up as she felt her legs start to buckle. “I- umm, I should probably go back to my room for a bit and- well, yeah…”
“No- wait, Soph!” Amy said, practically leaping out of her chair and scurrying to where the brown-haired girl was stood. “I- I do love you, really, I do. But I- I don’t know if I, you know, ‘love you’ love you.”
“…Same here,” Sophie sighed. “And it- it’s frustrating, you know? You’re, like, an ideal girlfriend for any- heh. For any guy or girl. Even if ‘guy or girl’ is just one person, heh.”
“Well, you know I prefer girls,” Amy sighed. “But, like, that- that’s, like, a ‘generalisation’. Like, a person’s more than just their gender, and I- I don’t have a problem seeing you as a girl, Soph, I never have.”
“Even if I sometimes did, at the start?” Sophie asked.
“…You got better,” Amy shrugged, smiling as her friend giggled. A pause fell between the two women as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Breathing heavily, Amy and Sophie leaned into each other, their lips parting as they began to taste each other’s breath…
“What- what are you guys doing?” Hayley asked as she opened the front door of the flat.
“Uh- umm, uh-“ Sophie babbled, her heart racing as her face flushed with embarrassment.
“It- well, what it is- umm…” Amy said simultaneously.
“Is- is what I think’s happening, happening?” Hayley asked, a look of shock and anger spreading across her face. “And if so, how long has it been happening for?”
“It- it’s not what it looks like,” Sophie stammered as she remembered the previous day's conversation between her flatmates and wondered if Hayley's anger was born more of jealousy than anything else. “Umm, I- I mean, we- like, you and Amy-“
“ME and Amy?” Hayley asked. “It looks more like YOU and Amy from where I’m standing.”
“Guys, please!” Amy said, taking several deep breaths as she tried to compose herself. “Nothing is going on between ANY of us, Sophie and I, we- ugh. If- if you must know, Hayley, we- we HAVE slept together.”
“What!?” Hayley exclaimed.
“But just once!” Sophie hastily interjected. “At- At Amelie and Ellen’s wedding, we were both, like, nearly blackout drunk and we- ugh. We’ve been hiding it from you ever since- from everyone, actually- and we- ugh. I- we- we’re really sorry, Hayley. We didn’t want to keep you in the dark, but it- it’s kinda a private thing, you know?”
"And we- we really don't want it to get out," Amy said, trying not to cry as she gazed into Sophie's eyes. "Please, it- it was a mistake." Sophie and Amy frowned as their friend paused to take in the information, before sighing and nodding.
“Well- okay,” Hayley said, a smile slowly returning to her face. “If- if that’s what you say is happening, then- I’m not going to distrust my friends. And, like, it’s obvious that you two- heh. And everyone’s saying it’s obvious that the two of you belong together, but, like, I’m guessing that it’s not that simple- well, obviously, heh.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” Sophie sighed as her anxiety was taken over by a feeling of frustration. She had come so, so close to resolving the ‘situation’ with Amy, only for it to have been thwarted at the last minute, leaving her- and Amy- once again in limbo. As she and her flatmates headed to the sofa, she found herself mulling one question over and over in her mind- a question that Hayley didn’t hesitate to put into words.
“So, umm,” Hayley said hesitantly. “If- if I, you know, hadn’t interrupted, would- would you two, like, have- have gone through with the kiss?”
“I- heh, well, I guess we’ll never know now,” Amy replied with a shrug.
“…Me either,” Sophie sighed. “Sorry.”
“No- no, I’m sorry if I overreacted,” Hayley sighed. “I guess I was feeling just a bit, you know, left out or something. Like, what we’ve got- as in, Team ASH- it- it means more to me than you imagine, and I- I really don’t want to imagine life without the two of you in it.”
“Me either,” Amy said. “And believe me, I can well imagine how much Team ASH means to you as- heh. It has literally been my life for the last three years.”
“Same here,” Sophie said with a smile. “I was only meant to be ‘Sophie’ for six months, remember? I have you two to thank more than anyone else for keeping this life, well, open for me.” Sophie grinned as she and her two best friends shared a warm, loving group hug on the sofa.
“We will always be a part of each other’s lives,” Amy said confidently, though both she and Sophie were forced to concede that even though they no longer needed to hide their secret from their flatmate, neither of them knew precisely what part they would play in each other’s futures…
“Okay, seriously,” Hayley groaned as she relaxed back onto the sofa. “Just pick one already, they all look great and they all look great on you as well.”
“I know,” Sophie sighed as she picked another dress from the pile in front of her and held it against her body. “I just want to make the perfect first impression, you know? This is my first ever book- well, not ‘tour’, thank you co-bloody-vid, but- you know? Especially considering what the topic of the book is as well.”
“Yeah, you’re really not the first girl to have a crisis about what dress she should wear,” Hayley teased, giggling as her flatmate hurled the garment at her face.
“Maybe I should wear a suit?” Sophie mused as she picked up yet another dress.
“Your funeral,” Hayley shrugged. “And I thought the whole point of this book is so that you don’t have to wear suits in the middle of August, anyway? Well, uniforms that are shaped like suits, anyway.”
“The point of the book is to help girls like us,” Sophie corrected her friend. “Though you’re not wrong, I will NOT miss the uniforms in the middle of summer in the south of Spain, that’s for certain.”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Hayley sighed. “Yesterday, when I got back, I felt like I had a swimming pool in my tights.”
“Lovely,” Sophie said with a grimace.
“Actually made me miss the days of mandatory stockings,” Hayley mused.
“Nothing stopping you from wearing them anyway,” Sophie said, before a smile slowly crept across her face. “Nothing stopping me, either.”
“Hell no there isn’t!” Hayley giggled. “I’d wear a dress or a skirt over them, though, if you’re still thinking of your interview outfit.”
“You don’t say?” Sophie replied, ignoring her friend’s giggles as she mused on the fact that she'd also had recent experience of the discomfort of the uniform in the heat- though to a much lesser extent than any of her colleagues.
Since the ‘easing’ of covid protocols in London, the flight attendants of Soixante-Trois airlines had gradually found their shifts increasing in frequency, though they were still nowhere near normal- especially for August, one of the busiest months of the year. The freezing of new hires in both May and August had meant more shifts for the cabin crew who remained with the airline, including Sophie, who flew on her first shift in months at the start of July. As she flew, however, Sophie found herself growing more dissatisfied with every passing second- not just of the work, but the uniform too. It took mere minutes for her to wish that she was back in her flat, working on her book- or back in her flat with Amy.
Despite their having talked it through (and talked it through with Hayley), both Sophie and Amy continued to feel uncomfortable in each other’s presence. Their moment of drunkenness in December had irreversibly tainted their friendship, and both girls felt more and more like it was the beginning of the end- not least because for Sophie, it was the beginning of the end of her employment with the airline. Her book had been completed, she had secured a publisher and she was preparing to begin her publicity campaign- actions that she had been explicitly told would cost her her job with Soixante-Trois. And while she would still be making enough money to still live in the flat, to Sophie, it just wouldn’t be the same- not least because Amy’s future with the airline was also far from certain.
While her earnings from the airline had diminished, the amount of child support Amy paid hadn’t. Amy’s fear of losing contact with her daughter trumped all other concerns, and she volunteered for as many shifts as were available, willing to be on call at a moment's notice in case any other crew were unavailable- and with covid still running wild across the continent, extra shifts were often readily available. However, even that extra work left her with little money to herself at the end of each month, and with no other vacancies elsewhere due to covid, Amy was forced to rely on loans and handouts from her friends. While they were only too happy to help, Amy was often reluctant to accept their charity- after all, she couldn't consider herself a responsible father if other people were technically providing for her daughter. Even though she knew consciously that she wasn’t responsible for the global situation- and the resulting reduced income- it, combined with the fact that she hadn’t seen Jade in months, made her more and more anxious. And on top of all that, whenever she returned home, she came face to face with Sophie, a woman she knew she loved- but was unsure how she loved her.
And while Sophie and Amy continued to walk on eggshells around each other, Hayley was stuck in the middle, wishing that things could go back to the way they were- both before covid and before Team ASH started to splinter…
“…This one,” Sophie said, holding up a form-fitting sky-blue pencil dress with a square neckline. “I’ve got a choker in a matching colour and some earrings that will go GREAT with this.”
“Not to mention a body that’ll look HOT in it,” Hayley teased. “If my saying that won’t make Am-“ Hayley paused and bit her lip- teasing her flatmates about their ‘relationship’ had been second nature to Hayley, but following April’s revelation, even jokes that had previously been trivial had become awkward for everyone.
“The- the blue dress it is,” Sophie said, gently removing the garment from its hanger and returning to her bedroom.
As she zipped herself into the clingy garment, Sophie mentally ran through all the things she wanted to say in her interview, hoping, but as often happened, the mere hint of Amy’s name brought the ginger girl back to the forefront of Sophie’s mind. While they’d spoken openly and frequently since April, Sophie felt no closer to resolving her feelings for Amy than after their first ‘encounter’ in December. Just as Amy knew she loved Sophie, Sophie knew she loved Amy, and wanted the ginger haired girl to stay in her life- but she also knew that the decision might not be hers to make.
As Sophie prepared for her interview, Amy fidgeted in her uniform, her discomfort in the Mediterranean heat not helped by the newest addition to her uniform- a cloth face mask of the same red colour as her skirt and blazer. While Amy understood the reasons for wearing the mask, it didn’t make it any less uncomfortable- though it wasn't Amy's own reaction to the mask that frustrated her the most.
“Good afternoon, sir,” Amy said in a clear, polite voice as she approached the passenger who had called her- one of the few passengers on the relatively empty plane. “How may I help-“
“Can’t hear you,” the man abruptly interrupted. “Take off that mask.” Amy bit her lip at the man’s rudeness, though she was more concerned by the fact that the passenger wasn’t wearing his own mask- a clear violation of the airline's policy, though Amy doubted that the passenger cared. A part of her wondered whether or not the airline's senior management even cared...
“Sir, I have to ask you to pu-“ Amy said, making a conscious, but vain effort to raise the volume and clarity of her voice.
“I said I can’t hear you with that nappy on your face!” The man snorted, making the ginger-haired girl frown behind her mask. Remembering what little training she'd received for such circumstances, Amy reached into her pocket for a small, laminated card that she passed to the passenger, which bore the phrase ‘do you require a sign language interpreter?’ on the front. However, this only served to worsen the middle-aged man’s mood. “I’m not deaf!” Could’ve fooled me, Amy thought to herself. “I just don’t listen to people who wear nappies on their chins!” I’m not falling for your bait, Amy thought to herself as she struggled to keep her anger in check.
“Sir, it is airline policy tha-“ Amy said calmly but firmly, before grinding her teeth as she was interrupted yet again.
“WHAT PART OF I CAN’T HEAR YOU DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?” The man yelled, and instinctively, Amy pushed the blue button on her hip, and within seconds her supervisor was at her side- and much to Amy’s relief, was wearing a clear visor rather than a cloth mask.
“What seems to be the problem?” Abbey asked, taking extra effort to soften her usually strong Essex accent.
“I can’t hear you with that thing in front of your face!” The passenger snapped, and it took all of Abbey’s patience not to roll her eyes.
“Sir, these visors do not block sound, only transmission of-“ Abbey said, before snarling as she was interrupted.
“I can’t hear you!” The man snorted. “I can’t hear you! La la la la-“
“If you do not put on your mask, we will not permit you to board the plane back to London,” Abbey said, allowing herself a small smirk as the man stopped making a spectacle of himself.
“You can’t do that, I’m a paying customer!” The passenger growled. “It’s not like I’m asking if either of you have a dick or anything!”
“No, you’re just being one,” another passenger, a younger man with a Belfast accent, quipped.
“It’s my right to not wear a mask if I don’t want to!” The angry passenger said smugly.
“And it’s our right to refuse service to those not willing to follow clearly stated airline rules,” Abbey said firmly.
“There’s no such thing as covid,” the angry passenger said. “Coronavirus is just a cold, everyone’s being pathetic because they don’t want to catch a cold!”
“We’re not the ones throwing a tantrum about it though,” the Irish passenger said, making the angry passenger’s face turn red as the other passengers applauded appreciatively.
“…Fine,” the angry man growled as he pulled on the face mask he’d worn to board the plane. “But I’ll be complaining to your managers about all of you!” Go ahead, Amy thought to herself. God knows I probably won’t be working here much longer…
As they retreated to the safety of the galley and out of earshot of the passengers, Amy and Abbey both let out long, tired groans.
“First anti-masker?” Abbey asked, smiling sympathetically as the ginger-haired girl shook her head.
“Think this makes three on the last eight flights,” Amy snorted. “Can’t imagine how this fucking virus spread around the world so quick, can you?”
“Not a clue,” Abbey replied, imitating and chuckling at her friend’s sarcasm. “Ugh, I dunno. I dunno why we’re still even flying, I mean, it’s not like the virus has gone away, it’s just- A- Amy? Are you okay?” Abbey’s face fell as she saw tears slowly start to trickle from her colleague’s eyes.
“No, no I’m not okay,” Amy moaned as she slowly sunk into one of the galley’s seats. “Nothing about this situation is okay! Right now, I’m meant to be laid on my sofa, recovering from the operation that I’ve dreamed about my whole life. Now I don’t know when it’s going to be- if ever. I’m meant to be spending quality time with my daughter on her summer holiday, now I don’t know when I’ll ever see her again. And- ugh.” And I don’t know how I feel about Sophie, Amy ruefully thought to herself. Or what'll happen when her book comes out and she leaves the airline for good...
“Yeah, well, the entire world’s gone to shit right now,” Abbey sighed as she sat down next to her friend and gave her a gentle one-armed hug. “I mean, I shouldn’t even be hugging you, but- yeah. I won’t tell if you don’t, heh.”
“Thanks,” Amy whispered. “I- ugh, I dunno. I dunno how long I can keep living on the measly shifts we’re getting, even if it is a lot more than we were getting three months ago.”
“Have you been looking for other work?” Abbey asked, before grimacing as Amy stared at her witheringly.
“What ‘other work’?” Amy snorted. “I mean, yes, I can go and work at Amazon or Tesco or somewhere, but I’d rather drink jet fuel.”
“At least for the airline we get to look cute while we work?” Abbey asked, smiling as her friend chuckled.
“Always a plus point in my eyes,” Amy chuckled.
“Yeah,” Abbey whispered, before biting her lip. “So, umm, you- you were due your operation this summer, then?”
“Well- next month, actually,” Amy replied with a sad sigh. “But I figure, like, it was close enough? I mean, I’ve been on HRT since February 2017, that’s three years, that’s long enough, surely?”
“Yeah, well,” Abbey said hesitantly. “It’s most definitely NOT a competition, but I- I’ve been on HRT a year longer than you and I’m still, like, ‘sullied’, if you’ll excuse the Game of Thrones metaphor.”
“…Sorry,” Amy mumbled.
“Hey, how is it your fault doctors kept struggling to take me seriously?” Abbey asked. “I’d been working for the airline for a year before they prescribed me oestrogen. Kept wanting to make sure I was, like, ‘really’ trans and not some sort of fetishist or something.”
“What made them think that in the first place?” Amy asked.
“The fact that there were days I’d get home from work and instead of slipping into a comfy pair of lounge pants, I’d slip into a rubber leotard and a corset instead,” Abbey replied, giggling as her colleague’s eyes widened. “In fairness, I get how people might see that as a bit fetish-y. But just because I was having fun, doesn’t mean I was any less a woman. But not everyone saw it that way, so- yeah.”
“Yeah, I had something similar with my doctors when I started transitioning,” Amy snorted. “Wanted to make sure I wasn’t, as they put it, an ‘autogynephile’. As in ‘gets off on the thought of me as a woman’. Like all trans people have the chance of being like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs or something.”
“Ugh,” Abbey spat. “I mean, I get how girls like might get, like, excited at the prospect of being all femmed up, but- yeah…” Amy frowned as her supervisor trailed off.
“…Abs?” Amy asked cautiously.
“I- ugh,” Abbey sighed. “I really don’t mean anything by this, but I’m thinking, like, of some of the girls who’ve worked for us who aren’t, like, in a hurry to get ‘snipped’. Girls, like Natalie or Sophie, for example.”
“What about Sophie?” Amy found herself asking defensively.
“Well, she’s, like, not on HRT, is she?” Abbey asked. “Comfortable enough to be feminine in her own XY skin, the lucky girl.”
“Well- I guess,” Amy mumbled with a shrug.
“But it also means,” Abbey said, before pausing. “And I’m REALLY trying to think of the best of wording this, that- well, you know…”
“That they’re like, more like crossdressers than ‘real’ trans girls?” Amy asked.
“…I dunno,” Abbey sighed. “All I know is that if Natalie and Sophie tell me that they’re girls, I’m not going to ask them to lift their skirt or do a blood test to prove it.”
“Yeah,” Amy said, taking several deep breaths to calm herself. “And I- I’ll be alright, I think I just needed to vent after dealing with that idiot on top of everything, heh.”
“I don’t blame you,” Abbey said softly. “Best cure for cabin fever is being stuck in a plane cabin all day, after all!”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Amy sighed as she stood up and straightened her skirt. “And going back to what we were talking about, I guess that being their own kind of girls didn’t stop Natalie or Sophie from finding someone they love, either.”
“Didn’t know Sophie was seeing anyone,” Abbey mused, making Amy grimace as she realised her slip of the tongue. “Did they get together before or after lockdown started?”
“Umm, I- I’m not sure,” Amy replied.
“Meh, I guess it’s not like they can go round your flat all the time, not anymore, anyway,” Abbey shrugged. “Good for her though!”
“Yeah,” Amy chuckled as she found herself wondering how she’d feel if Sophie got a girlfriend who wasn’t her- and quickly concluding that she didn’t know what she’d feel…
Sophie took a deep breath as she logged into Zoom on her laptop, trying not to fidget in her dress as she mentally prepared herself for the grilling that was to come. All throughout the writing of the book, Sophie had been excited- she’d had the opportunity to research, to create and choose her words carefully and say only what she wanted to say. However, when the time came to publicise the book, she knew that wouldn’t be the case.
When the exposé about the airline had been published, Sophie was relieved in a way that it had been Rachel’s name on the cover, as that meant that she would be the one dealing with the awkward questions. Rachel was the one who appeared on shows such as Good Morning Britain and Panorama, she was the one who had to explain why she was biting the hand that fed her for years, she was the one dealing with accusations of being a socialist- or worse. However, with Sophie’s new book, it would be her name on the cover, and she who had to answer the awkward questions- and given the topic of the book, she knew to expect the questions to be not just awkward, but personal too.
As well as testimonies from other transgender people, Sophie had included a lot of her own experiences in the book and had gone to great lengths not to sugar-coat of downplay what she had gone through. She’d been open about how she’d been recruited by Rachel to go ‘undercover’ at the airline, how she’d never had any transgender feelings before starting that work and she'd initially seen her life as 'Sophie' as nothing more than another job. She knew that she would face accusations- even from those within the transgender community- of being fake, of not being ‘really’ transgender. However, she knew- both from her own experiences and the many friends who had helped her with her book- that no two people lived the same life or underwent the same transition. What 'worked' for Sophie wouldn't necessarily work for another trans girl and vice versa, and moreover, the way she conducted her private life was none of anyone’s business- not her employer’s, her interviewers or even those who would buy her book. Though Sophie needed to convince herself that it was none of Amy’s business either…
“Good morning,” the woman on Sophie’s screen said with a professional smile as she answered the call. “Thanks for agreeing to this interview, Sophie. My name’s Allison, but I’m happy for you to call me Ally if you’d prefer.”
“Thanks,” Sophie replied. “And I’d prefer to be called Sophie, please, and when the interview is published, I’d like my pronouns to be ‘she’ or ‘they’.”
“Okay,” Allison said with a nod and a smile. “I’ve got quite a lot of questions I want to ask you, but I want to start by asking what inspired you to write this book?”
“It wasn’t just one thing,” Sophie replied. “Before writing this book, I’d- I’d previously ghost-written another one.” Might as well get it all out in the open, no point in sugar-coating it, Sophie thought to herself. “A friend of mine had approached me to write an exposé about- about their place of work. Their place of work was well known for having a significant number of transgender employees, so she approached me- at the time, presenting as male- to go undercover to give an outsider’s perspective.”
“So up until that point, you hadn’t been transgender?” Allison asked, making Sophie try her hardest not to smirk- of all the questions she’d been expecting, that one was at the very top of the list.
“Well- yes and no,” Sophie replied. “It was something I hadn’t thought of before. Even when I think back to my childhood, I hadn’t felt any of the emotions my friends told me they felt- longing, insecurity, envy even. But as I started to live my life as a woman, I found more and more that I wasn’t simply pretending- I was truly living as a woman. There was a significant part of me that felt more alive than I ever had before, all because I was able to explore and embrace my feminine side. And moreover, because I had friends, and ultimately family who enabled me to be the person I am today.”
“So you don’t feel that with your gender identity, you’re ‘appropriating’ the experiences of other trans women?” Ally asked, causing Sophie to subtly bristle, even though she had anticipated that question as well.
“Well- no, because I’m not seeking to appropriate anyone’s experience, I’m trying to create my own,” Sophie replied. “Another argument I regularly hear- from transphobes, usually- is that trans women are seeking to become women in order to try to take something away from cis women, but again, that’s nonsense. Everybody’s journey, everybody’s transition is unique, but what’s almost universal is that people who transition seek to add to their true gender, rather than take away- and the same is true for non-binary people, or people who are two-spirit, or agender. Many of whose experiences are included in the book.”
“There are many people though, especially women, who would feel uncomfortable accessing single-sex safe spaces such as refuges if they admit trans women,” Ally said. “What would you say to people who expressed those concerns?” Way to word the question to make them sound like the reasonable ones, Sophie thought to herself.
“Well, for starters, if a trans woman needs to access a refuge, it’s far, far more likely that they themselves will have been a victim of crime or domestic abuse,” Sophie replied in a soft, gentle voice. “I’m sure there will be people who’ll point to crimes committed by a small group of transgender people as examples of why safe spaces should be trans-exclusionary, but if you go down that road it’s a slippery slope toward excluding people based on other characteristics, such as sexual orientation.”
“That brings me on neatly to my next question,” Ally said. “Recently, such as at 2018's London Pride event, there have been an increasing number of people accusing same-gender couples of appropriating the struggle same-sex couples have had in achieving equality, of trivialising their struggles. How would you respond to them, as fellow members of the LGBT community?” You’re really going in hard with these questions, Sophie thought to herself as she prepared to give her rehearsed answer.
“I have detailed many such experiences in the book,” Sophie replied. “One thing that same gender couples- where one or more person is trans- and ‘all cis’ same sex couples have in common is that without exception, they experience the same homophobia, and it can come from all ages, all shapes and sizes. In the book, I’ve included the experience of a couple of my friends from America who visited London for the first time a few years ago. In their week here, they experienced at least three separate instances of homophobia, and while some of the experiences were mostly harmless- old busybodies, that sort of thing- there sadly are occasions when it can and has escalated into violence.” Sophie tried not to smirk as she noticed her interviewer typing into her keyboard. You weren’t expecting THAT reply, the brown-haired woman thought to herself. Why would you need to type anything when you’re recording this conversation…
“What lesson, if any, do you hope to convey with your book?” Ally asked, forcing Sophie to suppress another smirk. Change the subject when you don’t like the answer, classic, Sophie thought to herself before replying.
“Too many people are focused on who people were, especially trans people,” Sophie replied. “Who people ARE is what’s most important.” Sophie smiled genuinely as Ally nodded and continued on a line of questioning that was noticeably much less confrontational than previously.
As she logged out from Zoom and shut down her laptop, Sophie let out a long sigh before returning to the living room. While she was satisfied that she’d been successful at promoting her book, Sophie had been frustrated at the number of personal questions she’d had to answer, even though she was expecting the odd one or two. She was grateful, however, that no questions had been asked of her own relationship status- though even this frustrated Sophie as she realised she’d still have to answer- or at least, try to answer- those same questions herself when Amy returned from her flight…
“Hey,” Hayley said softly as Sophie returned to the living room. “How’d it go?”
“About what I expected,” Sophie replied with a shrug.
“…Is that good or bad?” Hayley asked confusedly.
“It’s- ehh, I guess I’ll find out when it’s published,” Sophie replied. “In terms of plugging the book, I did what I could, but of course, as a journalist I know that newspapers- well, any publications really will only publish what they want to publish, and any words can be twisted to say what the editors and owners want them to say. Kinda why I’ve declined interviews with the likes of the Mail, the Sun etc.”
“Yeah, you’ve mentioned the ‘techniques’ of the big papers before,” Hayley said, before biting her lip. “Have you- have you ever thought about, you know, applying for a job there? I mean, like, not in general, but as- as Sophie? ‘Cause, like, once the book is out-“
“-I’m going to be- well, not out of a job, but definitely no longer employed by the airline,” Sophie interrupted. “And- ugh, I dunno. Maybe? I mean, like, I’d have thought nothing of working for one of the Murdoch papers before ‘cause it’s a job, you know, but- yeah. Let’s just say the last few years have been an eye-opening experience in more than one way. I never expected to be the face of a trade union, for starters!”
“Or a bridesmaid to the daughter of a billionaire?” Hayley teased, smirking as Sophie rolled her eyes. “Though I’m guessing you’d rather wear the dress again than pull on a Jeremy Corbyn hat and sing ‘The Red Flag’ with Natalie?”
“Depends on how tightly you lace the corset,” Sophie replied, earning a giggle from her friend. “Heh, I dunno. I mean, if we HAVE to talk politics, I guess I used to think of myself as a bit Libertarian, you know? LGBT issues didn’t affect me, so I had no reason to, like, stand in their way. And now that they do affect me, well, it- it’s easy to see now that people who DO have that attitude, they- well…”
“They’re also not standing in the way of the transphobes?” Hayley asked, smiling sadly as Sophie nodded. “Yeah, I’ve heard the ‘first they came for’ speech all my life. Well, from my granddad mostly, while he was still alive.”
“He was a bit of a socialist, then?” Sophie asked.
“Slightly to the left of Leon Trotsky,” Hayley chuckled. “He worked in the mines right up until Thatcher closed them all. I sometimes wonder, you know? What he’d have made of, well, me. Just ‘cause he was left wing doesn’t mean he’d automatically be pro-LGBT, especially not his generation.”
“Did he ever say anything about it?” Sophie asked.
“Not that I remember,” Hayley replied with a shrug. “He died when I was 13, so- yeah.”
“Is this your dad’s father you’re talking about?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as her flatmate nodded.
“I think he’s part of the reason my dad took so long to come out,” Hayley mumbled. “Heh, the exact same ‘problem’ as me, but with exactly opposite circumstances.”
“Your dad didn’t mention anything when I interviewed her for the book, though,” Sophie said. “Heh, maybe I’ll write another one, but from the perspective of family members of transgender people?”
“I’d read it,” Hayley shrugged. “I loved the article they did in the Sunday Globe a few years ago where they interviewed Paige’s parents, and the parents of, like, Jamie-Lee Burke, Steph Abbott and so on.”
“Guess I won’t be out of work for as long as I thought, then!” Sophie chuckled, laughing harder as her friend hurled a cushion at her. “Heh, I suppose- I suppose I SHOULD call Marie, though, let her know that we might need to have a few words tomorrow. It’s a shame, I’ve really started to like her, you know?”
“Yeah,” Hayley sighed. “Maybe because she can actually remember what it’s like to be on the front line. If it was Alana and you wanted to leave, you’d- heh. Speaking of Natalie, I assume she told you the way she quit? I mean, I wasn’t working for the airline at the time, but- yeah. I think everybody’s dreamed of doing that to their employer at one point or another, heh.”
“I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “It’s still gonna be weird, you know? Not knowing what countries I’ll be flying too, not wearing the uniform again…”
“Well- not the AUTHENTIC uniform,” Hayley chuckled. “I think virtually everyone in the tutu project has a replica of it somewhere, or at least owns enough clothes to be able to put together a replica.”
“The reason for that being?” Sophie asked, before a wave of realisation spread across her face. “Ah- costume party, of course.”
“Is it too early to start thinking about your birthday next year?” Hayley teased. “I would ask about my birthday next month, but I’d prefer it if covid doesn’t gatecrash the party, so- yeah.”
“Yeah,” Sophie sighed sympathetically. “I mean, I hope it won’t ‘gatecrash’ mine next year too, but- heh. Wearing an airline uniform in July heat, we won’t need the virus to give us a fever!”
“Ah- yep, hasn’t thought about that,” Hayley chuckled. “Also hadn’t thought about the fact that you’ll have been away from the airline for about 11 months by that point…”
“Yep,” Sophie whispered, before sighing. “I should- I really should call Marie, let her know- heh. Talk about 11 months from now, 24 hours from now I’ll probably be an ex-colleague of yours.”
“But never an ex-friend,” Hayley says, smiling as she squeezed Sophie’s hand. “That’s the important thing.”
“The MOST important thing,” Sophie whispered, as she wondered whether or not the same could be said of the soon-to-be-returning third member of 'Team ASH'.
Amy let out a tired sigh as she exited the tube station and removed her mask, savouring the feel of fresh air on her face for the first time in hours, but what felt like the first time in years. As she walked the short distance back to her flat, she dwelled on what she and Abbey had discussed on the flight, though her thoughts were quickly interrupted when she arrived at her front door.
“Hey Amy!” Hayley said with a smile as the ginger-haired girl entered the flat. “Good flight?”
“Yeah, other than another ‘dur hur hur me no wear mask’ wanker,” Amy snorted, opting not to tell her flatmate about her discussion with Abbey.
“Better order some more lateral flow tests, then,” Hayley sighed.
“It’s fine, I grabbed a few from work on the way home,” Amy said, taking the testing kits out of her handbag before kicking off her shoes and flopping down onto the sofa. “Where- where’s Sophie? She’s doing her interviews today for her book, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, but not, like, in-person, just over Zoom,” Hayley replied. “I think she- I think she’s on the phone to Marie right now.”
“…Oh,” Amy said, immediately understanding the significance of the phone call.
“Yeah,” Hayley whispered.
“I’m- I’ll just, like, get changed, get my make-up off while she’s talking, then,” Amy mumbled.
“Do you- do you want some privacy?” Hayley asked gently. “You and Sophie, like, when you talk, I can go into our room and-“
“It- it’s okay,” Amy replied with a tired grin. “it’s ‘Team ASH’, not ‘Team AS’, after all.”
“Well-, yeah, but-“ Hayley said.
“Honestly,” Amy interrupted, silencing her flatmate before heading into her bedroom.
When she emerged a few minutes later, having exchanged her loose summer dress for a plain t-shirt and a pair of shorts, Amy smiled as she saw Sophie sat on their sofa, before blushing and averting her gaze as she remembered her conversation with Abbey.
“Hi Amy,” Sophie said softly.
“Hi,” Amy whispered in reply.
“I, umm, I heard you had a bit of a shitty flight?” Sophie asked.
“Ugh, just an anti-masker, nothing serious,” Amy replied with a shrug. “How was your interview?”
“Umm, good,” Sophie replied, before sighing. “When- when I was talking about the book, anyway. Needless to say, they started asking a few more personal questions as well, like being trans means I deserve to be interrogated about every little motivation or something…”
“I think we’ve all been there,” Amy sighed sadly. “Did you- you didn’t, you know, tell them anything about, like, us, did you? Not- not that there’s, like, an ‘us’ to talk about, but-“
“I didn’t say a word,” Sophie reassured her friend. “I mean, it’s not like there IS anything to talk about, but- yeah.”
“Yeah,” Amy whispered, averting her gaze- something her flatmates immediately picked up on.
“A- Amy?” Hayley asked. “Are you okay?”
“Ugh, I-“ Amy replied, before letting out a long moan. “Let’s just say I’m feeling better than I was on the flight, heh. After the unmasked moron had a go at me, I kinda- kinda needed to sit back and have a bit of a cry, heh.”
“Was he THAT bad?” Hayley asked.
“Well- it’s not him, really, he’s just an obnoxious twat, and god knows we’ve all had our fill of THEM,” Amy replied. “It’s just everything getting on top of me, you know? And- and I’m really missing Jade more than ever…” Amy clamped her eyes closed and slowly wept as her two flatmates sat either side of her and wrapped her in a tight, loving and very welcome hug.
“I’m sorry,” Sophie whispered.
“As well you should be,” Amy sighed, making Sophie frown as she released the hug. “’Cause I’m going to miss you almost as much.”
“Umm- what?” Sophie asked, confused by her friend's sudden change in attitude.
“Should- is this my cue to go?” Hayley asked softly.
“No- no, please stay,” Amy sighed. “And I’d ask you the same thing Soph, but you- I know you just called Marie. So… this is it, right? The end of ‘Team ASH’?” Sophie bit her lip as she stared into her friend’s sorrowful blue eyes. She didn’t want to lie to Amy, but at the same time, she knew that the truth had the potential to be almost as painful. With both options seemingly equally bad to her, Sophie took the only option that she felt was open to her- to speak from the heart.
“We don’t have to work together to still be ‘Team ASH’,” Sophie replied. “Hell, none of us have been doing much work over the last few months anyway- well, umm, not for the airline, that is.”
“Yeah,” Amy whispered. “And I guess I am excited to read your book, heh. I’d be a bit more excited if we could have a launch party with all our friends, but- never mind.”
“We could always have a party tomorrow night, just the three of us,” Sophie suggested. “Assuming, umm, that you want to, like, celebrate me leaving the airline?”
“I- ugh, I dunno,” Amy sighed. “I get why you’d want to celebrate it, but- heh. Another reminder that nothing’s the same anymore.”
“Meh, I guess life would be dull if everything stayed the same the whole time,” Hayley mused. “I mean, ‘global pandemic’ isn’t the change of pace I’d have picked, but- yeah, I’m not really helping that much, am I?”
“Can’t have ‘Team ASH’ without ‘H’,” Amy replied with a shrug. “or ‘A’ or ‘S’, for that matter.”
“Well, I- I’m not planning on going anywhere,” Sophie said firmly. “To live, I mean. A job is just a job, you know? But what we’ve got, it- it means something.”
“So… what exactly HAVE we got, Soph?” Amy asked, making Sophie freeze. “’Cause we’ve talked it through more times than I can count and I still don’t know.”
“Okay, now I’m DEFINITELY leaving you to it,” Hayley said, jumping off the sofa only for Sophie to grab her arm. “…Guys, you know I’m really not into threesomes, right?”
“Well- I’m not that into TWOsomes,” Sophie said. “Not with either of you, anyway. The sex, it- it was a mistake. I realise that now. It shouldn’t have happened, it has damaged one of the best friendships I’ve ever had and it- it should never happen again.”
“Agreed,” Amy said. “I- I DO love you, Soph. But I- I can’t see us ever being, like, ‘proper’ girlfriends.”
“Same,” Sophie said, smiling as she felt like a weight was lifted off her chest.
“Have we- have we just sorted everything?” Hayley asked. "Is it REALLY that easy?"
“Not- ugh, not quite,” Amy sighed. “’Cause when either of us DO get a girlfriend, it’s going to raise a few awkward questions about why the two of us are so close. I mean, we could always hide it, but- yeah. I think all three of us have had enough ‘hiding the truth’ for a lifetime.”
“But that’s a bridge we can cross when we come to it,” Sophie said. “I- I do love you too. Both of you. But I- I don’t even want a ‘proper’ girlfriend right now, my career- yep, heh. Typical ‘career focussed woman in her mid-twenties’, heh. Even if she didn’t even know she was a woman this time three years ago.”
“I- I love you too,” Amy whispered. “As- like, as if you were family. I- I’m kinda not looking right now either. Not that I can, what with covid, but- yeah.”
“So… Team ASH forever?” Hayley asked.
“Team ASH forever!” Amy and Sophie both cheered, relieved to have made progress in their 'relationship' but still retaining a level of tension about how uncertain their futures were- and whether those futures would be together or apart.
“I just- I do wish I could help you more with what you’re going through,” Sophie sighed. “Both of you, I mean, with your families and all, like.”
“If I thought there was anything you could do, believe me, I would ask,” Hayley sighed. “As far as I’m concerned, the two of you are my family. My REAL family. Just- just don’t tell my dad, heh!”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Amy sighed. “I mean, compared to you, I’m lucky, both my parents support me, I don’t have any brothers or sisters being arseholes to me, but- yeah. Doesn’t make my relationship with Jade OR Kerry any easier.”
“I suppose- I suppose, you know, a copy of your book might help?” Hayley asked hesitantly.
“Umm, well, you’re both getting signed copies of the book anyway!” Sophie chuckled. “And I doubt there’s anything in there that you don’t already know, anyway.”
“Well, first- don’t be too sure,” Hayley replied.
“I know I’ve learned a lot from you about my own transition,” Amy said softly. “I know that might sound silly to you, but it’s true.”
“Maybe,” Sophie shrugged. “God only knows how much I’ve learned from the two of you about my own gender identity, heh.” Sophie paused and bit her lip as her eyes met with Amy’s.
“Umm, anyway,” Hayley said, sensing the awkwardness between her friends, “I was thinking- like, I wasn’t going to keep the book for myself- well, apart from my signed copy obviously, but- but I was thinking of sending it to my family. Like, to my mum, my sister, that sort of thing.”
“Heh, if I sent a book to Jade, I’d probably never see her again,” Amy sighed. “If I sent one to Kerry, though, and explained that she shouldn’t let Jade see it until she wants to…”
“I think you’re putting a bit too much faith in my writing,” Sophie said with a tired chuckle.
“I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit,” Amy retorted. “As a journalist AND a woman.”
“Especially the latter,” Hayley said, smiling supportively.
“And besides,” Amy said, “I know that since lockdown started, Jade’s become a real bookworm. Kerry keeps ordering second hand books for her off of Amazon- ‘cause the library obviously isn’t open- and she’s been reading everything she can get her hands on. So maybe, if she sees that her mum has a new book…”
“That her mother will probably tell her specifically not to read?” Hayley retorted.
“Not got much experience with kids, have you?” Amy asked with a smug grin that triggered a group giggle for the three girls. “Besides, she’s seven, she’s getting to an age where- heh. Where she’s getting more and more independent, more likely to think for herself… yeah. Wouldn’t surprise me if she found the book on her own initiative and started reading it…”
“You DO know that the book covers some, well, ‘sensitive’ topics, right?” Sophie asked teasingly, before frowning as she remembered that she and Amy had first-hand experience of the most 'sensitive topic' detailed in the book.
“…Well, at least things WERE resolved between you two for a brief while,” Hayley sighed.
“No- ugh,” Amy sighed. “Just because- well, umm…”
“Just because we’ve talked it through doesn’t mean things will never be awkward,” Sophie said with a loud sigh. “But, you know, given enough time…”
“That’s running out tomorrow?” Amy asked in an uncharacteristically timid voice.
“Don’t-“ Sophie said, before letting out another long sigh. “Tomorrow isn’t an ending. Not for me, not for the three of us. It’s just a new beginning, that’s all. The only people who can bring an end to ‘Team ASH’ are, well, ‘A’, ‘S’ and ‘H’. And I can only speak for ‘S’, but I don’t want ‘team ASH’ to EVER end.”
“Not does ‘H’,” Hayley confirmed.
“…And nor does ‘A’,” Amy said. “And- and you’re right, give it enough time and- heh. Maybe we’ll be able to laugh about it eventually. Even if I’m not in much of a ‘laughing’ mood right now.”
“Well, we can do something about THAT as well,” Hayley said with a warm smile. “How about tonight, the three of us have a party to celebrate Miss Connelly’s final day of- well, ‘bondage’ is probably the wrong word to use here.”
“Especially when you suggested a fancy dress party!” Amy teased her blushing flatmate. “But- yeah, why not? We can crack open a few bottles of wine, get some food ordered, scare the shit out of the delivery boy with our costumes, whatever they’ll be, anyway.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t thinking in terms of ‘costumes’,” Hayley said. “I was thinking more along the lines of ‘fancy dress’ as in ‘dress that is fancy’. If you get my meaning?”
“I do, and I know just the one,” Amy said with a wide grin. “Bought it in February, was planning to wear it to- well, regardless, I bought it in February, haven’t had the chance to ‘properly’ wear it yet… until now, hehe!”
“Same here, only swap ‘February’ for ‘Christmas’,” Hayley giggled. “Sophie? Do you have any gorgeous, glamorous gowns you can get into this evening?”
“Oh- umm…” Sophie mumbled, before giggling and blushing. “Maybe, about… seven? Heh. Not that I ever wear them anywhere, even before lockdown, but- heh. Ever been browsing Amazon or the Missguided website and seen something that you know you just have to have, even if you know you’ll never wear it anywhere?”
“As if there was ever any doubt that you’re truly one of us?” Hayley asked as the three women shared an excited giggle.
Just over an hour later, the three women returned to their small living room dressed up for a night out- or, under the circumstances, an evening in. Hayley felt like a million dollars in her short red dress with a flared, multi-layered skirt and matching heels. Sophie relished the opportunity to wear her long-sleeved, extra-short electric blue dress with platform stiletto sandals. Amy, however, took the opportunity to go all out. Her long, jet-black velvet gown fit her like a glove, as did the 4” heels on her feet. A choker of the same material as her dress adorned her neck, while chandelier earrings hung from her earlobes and her face was covered in thick, expensive makeup including smoky eyeshadow and blood-red lipstick. To complete her look, her long ginger hair was tied into an elaborate updo with string of pearls woven throughout.
“…What?” Amy asked with a smug grin as she saw the gobsmacked expression of her flatmates. “You did say ‘fancy’ dress, didn’t you?”
“There’s ‘fancy’ and there’s ‘fancy’,” Hayley replied.
“I kinda feel like I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt,” Sophie snorted as she gestured to her own dress. “The only things missing are the opera gloves.”
“Thank you for reminding me!” Amy said with a smug grin, returning to her bedroom only to emerge a few seconds later with her arms encased in soft black bicep-length gloves.
“Very nice, Audrey!” Hayley teased her roommate, who responded by rolling her eyes before posing with her hands on her shapely hips.
“Audrey Hepburn has nothing on me,” Amy said with a smug grin. “Even if she didn’t need a corset QUITE as tight as mine…”
“Who needs comfort when you look as good as us, though?” Sophie asked as she mirrored Amy’s pose.
“What we DO need is music!” Hayley giggled, linking her phone to the television’s speakers and grinning as the opening bars of 'Hot Girl Summer' filled the flat. “Ahh… perfect, hehe!”
“Kinda difficult to dance to with three of us, though,” Sophie said as she sashayed into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine.
“Especially as- as we’ve established MANY times- Team ASH is much better as a trio,” Amy said, sharing a knowing glance with Sophie.
“Oh, I dunno about that,” Sophie said. “We had fun when Francine lived here, and DEFINITELY when Rachel lived here.”
“Even if she made you sleep on the sofa while she had her fella over?” Hayley teased Sophie, who sighed and rolled her eyes.
“That was only a few times,” Sophie retorted. “Heh, I- I miss her, you know? Even if I do enjoy having the bedroom to myself, heh.”
“And if ‘Team RASH’ isn’t the best acronym in the world,” Amy said, making her friends smirk. “But yeah, she was pretty cool.”
“And, of course, you can never have too many friends!” Hayley giggled, before selecting a slower music track on her phone. “Okay, so, three-way dancing. I’ve got an idea, but I think we’re going to need to coordinate a bit. Soph, you put your hand on Amy’s hip, Amy, you put your hand on mine and I’ll put my hand on Sophie’s. Next, Sophie, you put your left hand around my shoulders, and- we can work the rest out, hehe!”
“…This feels like an accident waiting to happen,” Amy said.
“I would say I need a few more drinks before I try this,” Sophie said, “but that’s probably the LAST thing we need right now!”
“Definitely gonna need a few afterward,” Amy said, earning an eyeroll from Hayley.
“Girls!” Hayley said. “Now we slowly move around, anticlockwise like this.” The three women slowly started to step in time with the music, but quickly found themselves losing coordination with each other.
“Watch my toes!” Sophie said, trying her hardest not to giggle as she concentrated.
“Sod your toes, watch my shoes!” Amy retorted, triggering a giggle from all three girls as they started to stumble.
“I think- I think we’ve got the hang of this!” Hayley giggled excitedly, before yelping as her heel caught in Amy’s dress, causing the ginger haired girl to stumble and fall, landing on top of Sophie in an undignified heap on the floor. Both girls briefly looked into each other’s eyes, before blushing and giggling with embarrassment, happy that their earlier talk had pre-empted any awkwardness such a situation could have caused- or worse yet, any erotic feelings for both of them.
“Yeah, I don’t think we need to call Strictly anytime soon,” Amy said, laughing as she straightened her dress and helped Sophie off the floor. “And if this dress has so much as ONE crease-“
“Yes, yes, okay,” Hayley said, before giggling and heading to the kitchen to pour three more glasses of wine. “In the meantime, though, I think it’s time we had a toast: To Team ASH, the greatest trio of girls since Charlie’s Angels!”
“To Team ASH!” The three women cheered as they clinked their glasses.
“Let no MAN tear asunder!” Sophie giggled.
The three women spent the next two hours dancing, drinking and celebrating. As the afternoon turned into late evening, the wine continued to flow more freely, and it wasn’t long before Amy, Sophie and Hayley were all feeling the effects of it.
“O- okay, okay,” Sophie said, giggling as she sipped her wine. “Never have I ever… worn a thong back-to-front.” Sophie smirked as Amy reached for her glass, only to giggle and sit back in her chair.
“…Fine,” Hayley sighed as she took a gulp of her drink. “What? I was hungover, it was early… got halfway to Lisbon before I realised!”
“Right, right, my turn,” Amy said. “Never have I ever… worn a genuine school skirt bought from a uniform shop.”
“Not fair, you know I grew up with an older sister,” Hayley grumbled as she took another gulp of wine. “…Soph?” Sophie blushed as she reached for her wine and finished the glass.
“…It was an online shop,” Sophie explained as her flatmates giggled. “I assume that still counts?”
“Given what’s been happening over the last few months, I’d say so!” Amy chuckled. “Still going to need some context, though?”
“I was looking for a smart navy-coloured skirt to match a blazer I’d bought,” Sophie replied. “I saw it online, thought ‘yeah, that looks good’, bought it and only then realised it was a school uniform shop. Fits me perfectly, though.”
“I never think of buying school clothes when I need to look smart,” Amy mused. “Even if I am, like, ‘borderline petite’. Heh, Kerry would love it if I bought my clothes at the same place as Jade…”
“I think Rachel occasionally wore school clothes from time to time, when she lived here, anyway,” Sophie mused. “In fact, didn’t we have a school uniform birthday party for her one year?”
“Umm… can’t remember if it was Rachel but we definitely did for someone,” Amy said. “Though those uniforms were less Waterloo Road and more ‘even smaller Britney Spears’, heh!”
"And where, exactly, did you buy your uniform from, Miss Harris?" Hayley asked, smiling as the ginger-haired girl rolled her eyes and took a gulp of her wine.
"...Fine," Amy snorted, before giggling loudly at her failed attempt at deception.
“And- and it couldn't have been Rachel's party, or we’d have made her tie her hair in pigtails,” Sophie said. “Though if memory serves, she WAS there.”
“You’ve been talking about Miss Lyscombe a lot lately,” Hayley said in a teasing voice. “Even more than usual today!”
“… I just miss having her around,” Sophie shrugged. “No offence to you two, but it’d be nice to, like, see friends face-to-face again.”
“Well, we’re all feeling that way,” Amy retorted. “And I’m not thinking of or naming anyone in particular that I’m missing…”
“Okay, alright, if you must know, I- I like Rachel,” Sophie sighed dramatically. “As in ‘like’ like.” Sophie frowned as she stared into Amy’s eyes, her inebriated state stopping her from interpreting her one-time lover's facial expression and causing her tension levels to rise once again. However, the smile that spread across the ginger girl’s face soon put Sophie at ease.
“You never said anything about that before,” Amy said gently. “Never even hinted about it.”
“She always had a boyfriend before, while she was living with us,” Sophie replied. “Then that shit happened with the airline, and- yeah. Kinda missed the boat on that one. Or- or plane. Whatever.”
“Hey, come on, you’re only, what, 26?” Hayley said. “And Rachel’s 21, you’ve got years ahead to make it work.”
“Meh, I guess,” Sophie shrugged. “Dunno how she’d feel about dating someone who owns more nail polish than her and buys school skirts off the internet, though.”
“Cuts down on cosmetics costs,” Amy shrugged, before giggling. “But if you’re missing her THAT much, why not give her a call? Maybe turn this into a ‘virtual party’?” Sophie rolled her eyes as Amy giggled, though inside, she felt her nerves start to jangle at the prospect of speaking to Rachel under the circumstances.
“She- she’s probably busy,” Sophie mumbled. “Her sisters have probably got to be up early tomorrow for school, so she can’t party too late…”
“Okay, first: it’s 9pm, what’s she going to be busy doing?” Amy retorted. “Second, it’s August, it’s the middle of the summer holidays, and even if it wasn’t, nobody’s been at school since lockdown started, so- yeah.” Sophie sighed and tried not to tremble with nerves as Amy propped her iPad on the coffee table and logged into Zoom. Before long, she initiated a call, and moments later, the youthful face of Rachel Lyscombe appeared on the screen.
“Hey Amy! Hey girls!” Rachel beamed as she tried to hold her phone steady. “What’s u- whoa, you’re all looking fancy today, hehe! I would ask if you were going out somewhere, but, well, ‘out’ isn’t much of an option right now, so- yeah, heh.”
“Nope!” Amy said with a sad sigh. “So we’re having a party IN instead. We would’ve invited you, but didn’t want you to end up getting fined or something, heh.”
“Plus, you’d have to be a total shithead to go out boozing with friends or colleagues while the whole country’s locked down,” Hayley chuckled. “But that’s not important right now. What IS important is: how are you? We’ve been missing you these last few months-“
“Some more than others-“ Amy interrupted as Sophie tried not to frown.
“-And we just want to, you know, catch up!” Hayley continued.
“Umm, I’m doing okay, thanks!” Rachel chuckled. “Well, as okay as possible, under the circumstances, heh. Are you three all still flying regularly?”
“Not even close,” Hayley sighed. “We’re, like, WAY down in the number of flights, right across the entire airline in fact.”
“Yeah, I kinda thought you might be, what with- well, you know what,” Rachel said softly.
“Though SOMEONE at least will be making up for lost income tomorrow!” Amy teased as she gave Sophie’s shoulders a tight squeeze.
“Oh- is your new book out tomorrow?” Rachel asked with an excited grin.
“…I’ve been doing publicity interviews, so- yep,” Sophie replied, blushing as her three friends all giggled excitedly.
“Ah, so cool!” Rachel giggled. “I actually know a published author, hehe! And I’ll be sure to buy a copy off of Amazon tomorrow too.”
“No, you don’t need to pay!” Sophie protested. “I get six free copies anyway, and I’ve given a copy each to these two and one to my parents, so I can sign a copy and send it your way if you want?”
“Oh- only if you’re sure,” Rachel said with a bashful giggle. “I wouldn’t want to, you know, impose…”
“Really, it’s not a problem at all,” Sophie said. “Are- like, have you worked in lockdown at all?”
“Nope,” Rachel sighed. “Not like there’s anywhere TO work, heh. Only options are, like, supermarkets or hospitals, and me and crowds… yeah. Even if they’re forced to stay two metres away that’s still a little, like, close for me…” Rachel bit her lip as a dark mood fell over the conversation. “Anyway, what I’ve really missed- and this came as a surprise to me- is Zoe’s Sunday morning lessons, like, when we all got together for dance class, that sort of thing.”
“Well, none of us are working on Sunday, so dust off your leotard, we’ll call Zoe and see if we can make something happen!” Amy giggled. “I mean, it’s not like she’s been working much either, I guess…”
“Yeah…” Rachel said with a grimace as she panned her phone’s camera behind her to reveal the compact room in which she was sat. “This is my bedroom. If I, like, even attempt a pirouette I’ll probably take out a wall, heh.”
“Living room?” Hayley asked.
“Is pretty much owned by Nicki and Lizzie at the weekend,” Rachel replied. “That goes double in school holidays even before you take lockdown into account.”
“Ask them if they want to join in,” Sophie shrugged.
“Oh, they’d love to, probably,” Rachel replied. “Though they’d probably have more fun laughing at me dancing than dancing themselves, heh.”
“Well we- we’ll work something out,” Amy said. “Even if it’s just to hang out with a mate over Zoom, it’ll be worth it.”
“Which is what we wanted to do now,” Hayley said with a smug smile. “Even if you are a little underdressed.”
“I’m dressed perfectly for someone who’s spending the day sitting on their sofa,” Rachel retorted, giggling as the three women in the flat all playfully jeered her. “Though as I haven’t had the chance to get dressed up in what feels like forever- and I’m assuming you haven’t either- then yeah, I kinda get why you’d want to have, like, a ‘big night’ of it, heh.”
“And we’ve got to celebrate Sophie’s good news somehow, haven’t we?” Hayley teased as her flatmate blushed.
“Well of course we have!” Rachel giggled. “Ah, I really am pleased for you, Soph. I know you’ve been looking forward to getting the book launched for a while.”
“Th- thanks,” Sophie said, her inebriated state causing thoughts to swirl around her mind- most predominantly, thoughts of how Rachel would react if she asked her out on a date. However, despite her best efforts, all Sophie could say was: “I- thanks, heh.”
“Well, I- I look forward to reading it,” Rachel chuckled. “And not just because I’ve had nothing else to do these last few months, heh. Assuming I’m allowed, as a cis girl?”
“It’s as much for cis people as for trans people,” Sophie replied. “Maybe even more so, I mean, I doubt I’m going to teach these two anything they don’t know, heh.”
“Though as I’ve already told her, she might surprise herself,” Amy chuckled. “And besides, you’re an ally, and more importantly, a friend. And we all know the old saying about friends, don’t we?”
“Hell yeah we do!” Rachel giggled as Sophie continued to blush. “Have you had any ideas for your next book, Sophie?”
“Umm, a few,” Sophie replied, trying not to fidget. “But I- I’m going to take a break first, maybe wait for things to be a bit more, you know, normal before I start working on it.”
“That’s probably smart,” Rachel said. “Bask in the glow of your adoring fans first, hehe!” Depending on your definition of ‘adoring’, Sophie thought to herself. “I, umm- I kinda need to go now, my sisters are probably trying to get to sleep and my parents will NOT be happy at the noise I've already made, heh.”
“Oh, okay,” Sophie said, her drunken state causing her emotions to spiral even further out of control. “Well- it was great seeing you, if we have another, like, party thing like this, can we count you in?”
“Sure!” Rachel replied with a giggle. “See you all soon!”
“Bye!” The three women in the flat all cheered, before sighing as Rachel ended the call. A sudden, awkward silence filled the flat as Sophie tried hard to avoid eye contact with Amy.
“…You didn’t tell her, then?” Amy asked.
“It’s not the right time, and I am FAR too pissed,” Sophie replied, before downing another glass of wine. “And I make poor decisions when drunk, if you remember.”
“Yeah, I of all people should know,” Amy said as she fidgeted awkwardly. “But- but- umm…”
“Why- why don’t we see if anyone else is free?” Hayley said, grabbing the iPad and scrolling through the contact list. “Ooh, perfect!” Hayley forced a smile on her face as she initiated a new call, and within seconds, two familiar faces appeared on the screen- a woman with blonde hair, and a woman with jet black hair and mismatched green and blue eyes.
“Hey you three!” Jessica said with an excited giggle. “Ahh, seems like forever since I last saw you all! How are you guys, still working for the airline?”
“Well, employed by the airline, at least,” Hayley replied. “With no one flying anywhere, none of us are doing much actual ‘work’, heh. How about you guys?”
“Still working from home,” Jessica replied. “Which is easy enough to do, I mean, all the people we help have cell phones or laptops so it’s easy to keep in contact. Heh, even, like, 10 years ago we wouldn’t have been able to keep in touch the way we’re doing now.”
“That’s true,” Hayley said with a sad sigh. “Have you kept in touch with anyone else from the airline throughout lockdown?”
“Aye, we chat with Nat and Zoe a lot,” Paige replied. “An’ we were just talking to Abbey and Annabelle on Sunday.”
“That’s cool,” Amy chuckled. “More importantly, what the hell have you done to your hand!?” The five women on the call all grimaced as Paige held up her left hand- the ring and pinkie fingers of which were splinted and bandaged.
“Ugh,” the Scottish woman spat. “We- we ordered some flatpack furniture online, figured we could put it together ourselves, and it turns out we can’t.”
“Does it still hurt?” Sophie asked.
“No’ as much as it did,” Paige sighed. “The worst part was waiting for hours in the ER, panicking ‘cause Jess couldn’t be there wi’ me, and I’m, like, still only on ma’ green card, and the place was full of people who probably had covid, so- yeah. Fortunately came home only with a bandage instead of anything worse.”
“And in fairness,” Jessica giggled, “she was much more worried about damaging her wedding and engagement rings than her actual fingers!”
“Well- aye,” Paige retorted with a snort of laughter. “I can live wi’out a couple of fingers for a few weeks. I cannae live one second without you.” The three women in London all let out a collective ‘aw’ as the married couple in New York exchanged a tender kiss, though deep inside, Amy and Sophie began to feel uncomfortable at the display of affection.
While the two women were happy for their friends’ continued happiness, it served as a reminder of their own single status- and the happiness they could potentially have had with each other. While Sophie was content to remain single for the time being, Amy found herself feeling increasingly anxious. Her acknowledgement that there would be no romantic relationship between her and Sophie had only served to drive home to her how lonely she was. However, Amy's main concern, as always, was not for her, or even for Sophie- but rather, if she were to enter a relationship, how would Kerry accept her child’s ‘aunt’ showing up with another woman in tow, and how would she explain it to Jade?
These questions weighed heavily on Amy’s mind as she and her friends went to bed later that evening, and as she tried to drift off to sleep, she wondered if she'd ever find love again- or at the very least, if she'd ever love someone the way she loved Sophie...
However, the following morning, when Sophie woke up, the first thing she saw through her blurry, hungover eyes was Amy’s face- sitting next to her bed, rather than sleeping in it.
“Good morning, sleepy head- sorry, drunky head, heh!” Amy chuckled, before placing a mug of strong-smelling black coffee and a bottle of aspirin on Sophie’s nightstand. “I’m guessing you need both of these, you got pretty hammered last night!”
“That was the plan,” Sophie replied with a pained moan. “I think it was, anyway…”
“Please tell me you at least took your dress off before getting into bed?” Amy teased her friend.
“The dress is fine,” Sophie grumbled in reply, before yelping in sudden pain. “Wish I’d remembered to take off the cache sex, though…”
“Yeah, I’ve totally done THAT before too, heh,” Amy chuckled tiredly, before sighing.
“…Is- is everything okay?” Sophie asked.
“Well- heh,” Amy replied with a sigh. “Is ANYTHING okay right now? But it- it’s nothing you need to worry about, Soph.”
“Well- yeah, but I’m your friend,” Sophie replied. “Regardless of what is- or, like isn’t- happening between us.”
“Well, I- I guess I’m just missing Jade more than ever,” Amy sighed. “I mean, like, I can talk it through, even with Jade herself, and six hours later I’ll just be miserable yet again. It- it’ll be fine, honestly. Covid won’t last forever, and when I’m able to see Jade again, I will.”
“…But you’ll still have to play the part of her aunt, not her father?” Sophie asked quietly, frowning as her friend began to slowly weep.
“It feels like I keep going round in circles,” Amy moaned. “At least- heh. At least we’ve got our ‘thing’ sorted out, that’s something.” Sophie smiled as she pulled her friend in for a hug, which Amy was only too grateful to receive. “But, well, even that’s going to change, heh. Six hours from now we won’t be colleagues anymore, will we?”
“…Probably not,” Sophie sighed. “And I’ve got to admit, I- there’s a large part of me that’s going to miss it. But, like we found out, we can’t turn back the clock. Not that- not that I’d change anything. Y- you?”
“A million things,” Amy chuckled tiredly. “Me and you are one of those things but I- if this is how things end up, then I’m happy, I guess.”
“Me too,” Sophie said, exchanging another hug with her friend. “And if we- if we never get, like, ‘true closure’, I- I’m happy with that, too. We’re still friends, and that’s the important thing.”
“Yep,” Amy whispered, before chuckling. “Now come on and drink down your coffee, we’ve got an airport to go to.”
“Umm… ‘we’?” Sophie asked. “I thought you didn’t have any more flights this week?”
“You really think we’ll let you do this alone?” Amy asked with a smile as Sophie finished her morning beverage, smiling herself as she headed through to the bathroom to prepare for the morning ahead.
With her head still throbbing from her hangover and the heat of the August morning, Sophie strode through the employee section of Heathrow airport clad in the blue uniform that had become like a second skin to her- even the matching facemask that covered her nose and mouth. Flanking her either side were her two flatmates, the two women who were closer to her than any friend she had ever made. Nonetheless, Sophie still felt a twinge of nerves as she knocked on her manager’s office door.
“Entrer,” Marie said, smiling sadly behind her desk’s Perspex screen as Sophie entered. “Amy, Hayley, I know that you three are of the same household, but for covid rules you must please remain outside.”
“Fair enough,” Hayley whispered sadly, before giving Sophie’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Good luck.”
“We’ll be right outside the whole time,” Amy whispered. “Together in spirit at least, heh.”
“Yeah,” Sophie said, giving both of her friend’s hands a gentle squeeze before entering the office and taking a seat. “Th- thanks for agreeing to see me. I have this for you.” Sophie smiled sadly behind her mask as she slid a carefully typed letter underneath the screen on the desk.
“I do not need to ask what this letter says, do I?” Marie asked, nodding as Sophie shook her head. “It is okay, and it is expected. The managers senior to me have not made contact about the book, I think that maybe even they do not know it exists. But they will know soon enough.”
“Alicia?” Sophie asked, earning a tired chuckle and eye roll from her boss.
“She is a hard worker, that is perhaps unfair,” Marie retorted. “But perhaps not inaccurate either. Regardless, it is not her job that we are here to discuss, but yours. How much notice have you put in your letter?”
“Two weeks,” Sophie replied. “But the work I’m going to be doing is technically self-employed and I can do it all from home, and it’s not like there are a lot of shifts to go around right now, so-“
“So, you have already flown on your final flight as a Soixante-Trois employee,” Marie said, smiling as she sensed the sadness in Sophie’s eyes.
“…I dunno why I’m getting so emotional,” Sophie chuckled. “I only intended to stay with the airline for six months, and it’s been three years, heh.”
“I suppose that it will always be an important part of your life,” Marie mused.
“More important than you could ever know,” Sophie said wistfully. “But- anyway. What is it I need to do?”
“We just need you to leave your uniform in your locker and take home all of your personal belongings,” Marie replied. “You shall get your final pay on the normal day and the confirmation that your job has ended in the post in the next coming days.”
“And- heh, that’s it, then?” Sophie asked.
“Oui, that, as you say, is it,” Marie said. “Just return your locker key and your pass to me when you have emptied the locker and- well, I imagine I shall see you again, at least for my sister’s birthday if we are allowed to have parties again soon. But not again at work, heh.”
“Well- it’s been a pleasure,” Sophie said, smiling sadly as she removed her blue pillbox hat, straightened her skirt and headed out into the corridor, where her flatmates were waiting for her.
“So?” Hayley asked hesitantly. “How did it go?”
“Fine,” Sophie replied with a shrug. “I just need to return my uniform and my other work stuff and- well, that’s that. I am officially no longer a stewardess.” Sophie smiled as her two friends leaned in for a group hug, which Sophie was only too grateful to receive.
“But you’ll always be Team ASH,” Hayley whispered. “Do you- do you need a hand clearing out your locker?”
“Umm, I hardly have anything in there,” Sophie chuckled. “Just a few changes of underwear, a couple of pairs of tights, some make-up- heh. The ‘usual stuff’.”
“That wouldn’t have been ‘usual’ three years ago?” Amy asked gently, chuckling as her flatmate nodded. “I get it. Well- it’s normal now, heh!”
“We should do something to mark the occasion,” Hayley said. “Like, celebrate your ‘first day of freedom’ or something.”
“Yeah, I- I’m still recovering from yesterday’s ‘celebration’!” Sophie chuckled. “But I appreciate it. Besides which, when I get home I might have a hundred different TV companies asking me for interviews about my new book- and THAT’s something worth celebrating!”
“Which we also did last night,” Amy reminded her friend. “But anyway, while we’re in uniform, maybe one last ‘Team ASH’ selfie? In uniform, I mean, we DID change into them, might as well make the most of it?”
“Now that’s something I can definitely agree to,” Sophie chuckled as Amy took her phone out of her bag and took the photo, which was quickly circulated on all three women’s social media accounts.
A few minutes later, Sophie entered the locker room, her heart sinking as she found it empty- all of its usual occupants having long since departed on what few flights there were that day. After carefully removing and hanging up her uniform for the final time, Sophie returned her locker key and work pass to Marie and waited for her flatmates to change out of their uniforms before heading home together.
Upon arriving home, Sophie logged onto her email and smiled when she discovered several glowing reviews of her new book, along with several requests for interviews from blogs, websites and even some television and radio stations. Every single email was addressed ‘to Sophie’ rather than ‘to James’ or ‘to Sophie/James’, but the brown-haired writer didn’t mind- to her, it was validation that no matter how 'Sophie' began, or even how she'd felt about 'Sophie' to begin with, her identity as a woman was valid. And while Sophie found herself longing for someone who could be more than just a friend, she knew that despite how complicated things had been between them, she had and would always have the two best friends a girl could ever have in Amy and Hayley- even if they would no longer see each other at work anymore. However, while Sophie was uncertain about what her future would hold, she knew one thing for certain- with the help of her friends, it would be a positive one, no matter the global situation.
However, while Sophie was responding to queries about her book, unbeknownst to her, in the living room Amy and Hayley were also responding to an email- one from the flight attendants’ union warning that because of the very same global situation, their jobs might not be as secure as they’d previously thought…
“How are the sales today?” Hayley asked as she returned to her flat to find Sophie sat on the sofa, checking her laptop.
“Still good,” Sophie replied with a smile. “I mean, yes, they’re tapering off, but that’s to be expected after this length of time, so- yeah. Publishers are still VERY happy though.”
“I still can’t believe I know a famous author!” Hayley teased, giggling as her friend rolled her eyes and blushed.
“I still can’t believe I AM a- well, never mind ‘famous’, just ‘author’ full stop,” Sophie chuckled. Certainly not like this, she thought to herself as she thought back over the previous three years.
At the start of 2017, ‘Sophie’ had been an ordinary 22-year-old man named ‘James’ who’d never before thought of themselves in terms of being transgender. By the end of that year, ‘he’ was living life almost exclusively as a woman. By the end of 2018, ‘he’ had earned the acceptance and love of the greatest set of friends ‘he’ had ever known. By the end of 2019, ‘they’ had been unconditionally accepted by their parents. And as 2020 drew to a close, ‘she’ had established her career, her social group, her family- her entire life, even- as a woman, despite never having taken a single dose of oestrogen. All of her identification still showed her as being male, but she knew that deep down inside, it was a different story- and more importantly, the people who loved her and who she loved in return knew it as well.
“Nah, that was always on the cards,” Hayley said with a giggle. “And before you say it, so was you sitting on that sofa wearing that sweater and that skirt!” Sophie grinned as she gazed down at the tight turtleneck jumper that clung to her torso and the ribbed black mini skirt covering her legs above her knees.
“Funny how things turn out at times, isn’t it?” Sophie mused with a grin that was mirrored by her friend.
“You can say that again,” Hayley chuckled as she sat down next to Sophie and mused on her own life.
Three years earlier, Hayley had been a teenager without a family, without a job and without a future. Three years later, and not only had she found a well-paying job, but she’d gained more friends than she’d ever dreamed of and was able to connect with family too- especially her father, who understood what she was going through better than anyone else. When Hayley’s father had been kicked out of her home for being transgender, it had turned the young trans woman’s life upside down and torn her heart in two. Her mother and her siblings’ reactions were confirmation to Hayley that she’d never be accepted as who she really was- and yet, as hard as she’d tried, she couldn’t deny her true self. Despite the pain, despite the anguish, Hayley was happy with the way her life had turned out- she was unambiguously the woman she’d always dreamed of becoming, and her chosen family had become far, far more important to her than her biological family.
“Anyway, didn’t you say you had an interview today, about your book?” Hayley asked.
“Not until later,” Sophie replied. “And it’s not all about the book, they- they kinda, you know, want to get to know me as a person too…” Sophie grimaced and blushed as her friend’s grin widened.
“And you were saying about NOT being famous?” Hayley teased.
“I’m only doing it to publicise the book,” Sophie insisted. “And maybe dispel a few myths as well, I mean, the amount of people who’ve dismissed the book as ‘socialist nonsense’ without ever having read it is ridiculous. Firstly, it’s not an opinion piece, it’s a collection of testimonials as well as research from doctors and counsellors. Secondly, I’m not even a socialist! I voted Lib Dem in last year’s election. Okay, yes, I DID kinda run a trade union for a bit, but still…”
“Yeah, well, in my experience, ignorant people like that tend to lump everyone they disapprove of into one big group simply called ‘the enemy’,” Hayley snorts. “I think I told you for your book some of the disgusting things my family said about my dad after she started transitioning…”
“Some of the lies, yep,” Sophie sighed. “Journalism 101: repeat a lie often enough and eventually people will start to accept it as the truth.”
“Especially if you’re really old, Australian and look like a shrivelled-up old testicle with glasses,” Hayley snorted. “Not that I want to come across as insulting of journalists, like.”
“I’m more insulted that you consider Murdoch to BE a journalist,” Sophie snorted. “But whatever, I- I know I’m helping people with the work I do. I- I just wish issues like ours weren’t so politicised, you know? There’s nothing political about living your life the way you want to if it doesn’t hurt anyone else, right? And if you simply existing somehow ‘hurts’ someone else, well, they shouldn’t have such a massive stick up their arse.”
“Amen,” Hayley chuckled. “And don’t knock sticks up your arse until you’ve tried-“
“Yes, yes, okay, thank you,” Sophie sighed. “After everything that’s happened since last Christmas, believe me when I say that sex is a REALLY low priority for me right now.”
“I bet,” Hayley whispered as she and Sophie thought about their third flatmate, who at that point in time was high in the skies over Europe.
Amy let out a sigh as she secured her drinks trolley in the plane’s galley, before taking off her hat, slipping off her mid-heeled shoes, straightening her dark tights and blue pencil skirt and stretching her tired feet.
“I’ll overlook the uniform code violation this time, honey,” Amy’s supervisor said with a wink in her gentle Georgian accent.
“Ugh, sorry Annabelle,” Amy moaned as she slipped her shoes back on. “Just- I dunno. Probably still feeling a bit tired after my run-in with you-know-what.”
“I bet, honey,” Annabelle sighed softly. “Has everyone in your flat had it now?”
“Yep,” Amy said with a tired sigh. “First me, then Hayley, then Sophie. Of course, because we all live together, our lockdown started when I tested positive and ended 9 days after Sophie did, meaning lots of time indoors vegging out, heh. Probably got a bit too used to it, it’s kinda nice to now be back in uniform and actually earning some money, you know?”
“I get what you mean, honey,” Annabelle replied. “I missed the work at times during lockdown too, but it’s getting to work with all you guys and gals that I really missed the most.”
“D’aww,” Amy teased her supervisor, who blushed and giggled bashfully. “Do you- umm, but do you- do you think we’ll be, you know, working together for much longer? Like, out of London?” Amy bit her lip and grimaced as the tall American woman paused to consider her response.
“…I hope so,” Annabelle whispered.
“Me too,” Amy mumbled. “But- ugh, never mind. No point in worrying about things you can’t control, right?”
“That’s always been my motto,” Annabelle replied with a warm smile as her colleague found herself fretting about her words and how they equally applied to her personal life- specifically, her immediate family.
Unlike Hayley, when Amy had started work over three years earlier, she had already been on HRT for three months, and had had the support of her parents ever since she came out at the end of 2016. However, while she had no problem with that side of her family, she had another family with whom she’d never had anything but drama.
When she was seventeen- and still identifying as ‘Andy’- Amy had been a stereotypical teenage tearaway. She had acted out, thumbed her nose at authority and engaged in casual sex with multiple partners- which ultimately resulted in her fathering a child with a woman named Kerry. This had been the catalyst for Amy to turn her life around- she got a job, cut back on her partying in favour of being there for her child and never missed a single payment of child support. A short while later, on her 21st birthday, her parents showered her with gifts- however, they were all gifts intended for 'Amy', not 'Andy'. However, while Amy was relieved to no longer have to hide her true self from her parents, Kerry had made it plain that under no circumstances was their daughter ever to learn the truth about her- and Amy spent every day since that fateful birthday wondering whether or not she made the right choice. For years, Amy had been forced to pretend to be her daughter’s aunt, rather than her father, and while she was happy she was able to be in her life at all, she longed for the day when she'd finally be able to come out to the little girl and still be able to have a relationship with her.
However, just as it had for Sophie and Hayley- not to mention everyone else across the world- everything in her life had changed seven months earlier. Covid-19 had swept across the globe like wildfire, irreparably changing the lives of the trio and everyone they knew. Amy’s access to her daughter, which had been tenuous to begin with, vanished to be replaced by video calls only. Hayley had been unable to visit her father in the flesh for months. And Sophie’s plans for the future had had to be accelerated thanks to the one thing that affected all three women equally- the pandemic's devastating effect on the number of people travelling by air.
However, the covid regulations were slowly easing. While passenger numbers were still low, Hayley’s relationship with her biological family had been gradually improving and Amy had arranged a visit with her daughter for the following day- something that she couldn’t help but be distracted by as she flew back from Austria to the UK.
“Hi honeys, I’m home!” Amy said with a smile as she returned to the flat and kicked off her heels.
“Hey, how was Vienna?” Hayley asked with a smile. “And don’t say it means-“
“It means nothing to me,” Amy replied, before sharing a giggle with her flatmate. “Ahh… where’s Soph?”
“Doing another interview,” Hayley replied, biting her lip nervously. “So, umm, when you were at the airport, did you- umm, did you-“
“Did I find out if we’d also need to be doing interviews anytime soon?” Amy asked, sighing sympathetically as Hayley nodded. “I didn’t hear anything, believe me, if I did, you’d be the first person I told, Soph second.”
“…Even though she doesn’t work for the airline anymore?” Hayley asked.
“Hence why I won’t tell you both at the same time,” Amy said, before sharing another giggle with her friend. “Ah, I dunno. I reckon everything’ll work out okay, I mean, the airline IS just a small part of a much larger company, you know? Soixante-Trois as a firm existed for, like, forty years before Masson started flying planes everywhere.”
“Yeah, but there won’t be much use for trained cabin crew in a warehouse full of DVD players,” Hayley retorted, grimacing as her friend frowned.
“Can we- can we talk about something else, please?” Amy asked. “I mean, it IS Friday night, you know?”
“Sure, not a problem,” Hayley conceded with a warm smile. “So… shall we have another ‘all dressed up and nowhere to go’ party? I’ve found another couple of tracks for the ‘classic trance’ playlist.”
“Ugh, normally I’d love to, you know that,” Amy sighed. “But tomorrow I-“
“You- you’ve got your thing with your parents tomorrow,” Hayley interrupted in a soft whisper.
“…Got my ‘thing’ AS a parent tomorrow,” Amy retorted. “Hopefully. Assuming Kerry doesn’t shit me about. Again.”
“I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you,” Hayley said. “I know Soph will as well. Assu- assuming, you know, you don’t- you won’t want us to come along? Like, for moral support?”
“I would love nothing more,” Amy sighed sadly. “But rule of six means- yeah. Between me, Kerry, Jade and my parents that’ll be five already. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Kerry brought her parents along to try to get me to leave, but my parents have already said they’ll leave if that happens, and- yeah. I mean, I could maybe bring one of you along, but-“
“Team ASH is a trio and always will be,” Hayley said.
“Yep,” Amy said as she mused on her and Sophie's one night stand, and how glad she was that they were able to put it behind them and go back to being the good friends that they were. As if on cue, Team ASH’s third member emerged from her bedroom, a smile immediately spreading across her face as she saw that her ginger-haired flatmate had returned.
“Hey Amy!” Sophie said, grinning as she and Amy exchanged a hug. “How was Vienna? And don’t quote that bloody Ultrav-“
“It meant nothing to me,” Amy hastily interrupted, triggering a giggle from the three women. “But seriously though, it was fun. Well, the airport was, anyway. The one thing people always say when you tell them you’re a flight attendant is ‘you must see some incredible places!’. Well, yes, the airports of those incredible places, certainly. I couldn’t name five points of interest I’ve seen in Vienna. Or Berlin, Madrid or even Paris, for that matter.”
“Well, sounds like what we need is an official Team ASH weekend away in one of these cities,” Sophie said with a confident grin. “When we’re allowed to properly travel again, anyway.”
“And if we can spare the cash,” Hayley said with a heavy sigh. “Still not getting the shifts we were getting this time last year.”
“If I have to pay for the trip myself, I will,” Sophie said.
“You absolutely will not!” Amy retorted. “We’re not taking advantage of you, Soph, no matter how much book money you’re raking in at the moment.”
“…Wouldn’t say ‘raking’, exactly,” Sophie mumbled, before sighing and smiling. “Though I- I do appreciate what you’re saying.”
“It’s the classic ‘employee’s dilemma’, though,” Hayley sighed. “You have the free time to go somewhere, but can’t afford it, or you have plenty of money but no free time in which to enjoy it. Wasn’t the union and the strike meant to solve all this?”
“I think that problem might be bigger than just us, you know, ‘fly girls’,” Amy chuckled. “God knows that’s certainly true of covid. But- ehh. We’ll definitely have a weekend away somewhere when we can, just the three of us.”
“When covid isn’t a threat anymore,” Sophie said.
“And we have enough money,” Hayley added.
“And enough free time,” Amy chuckled. “But- you know? August 2022 will be our fifth anniversary, even the most pessimistic covid, like, predictions say it won’t be a problem by then, so how about it? Late summer in Austria?”
“I’m sticking it in my phone right now,” Hayley chuckled. “Team ASH forever!”
“Team ASH forever!” Sophie and Amy cheered simultaneously, even as the three women were forced to acknowledge, if only to themselves, just how uncertain their futures were.
With Amy needing to get up early the following morning, all of the flat’s occupants agreed to get an early night. After her long day, Amy had no difficulty drifting off to sleep, but she found herself waking up the following morning long before her alarm was due to sound, and it didn’t take long for her anxiety about the day ahead to take control.
“Mmph,” Hayley grunted as she heard her roommate shuffle around the darkened room. “Amy? What time is it?”
“…What, really?” Amy teased her friend. “After all these years of getting up early for morning flights?”
“Oh- shut up,” Hayley grumbled, before giggling and sighing. “…How are you feeling today?”
“Honestly?” Amy replied. “More nervous than I was expecting. I mean, this is already the longest amount of time I’ve gone without seeing Jade in the flesh, even when she was a new-born. And I- I doubt I’ll be prepared for how much she’s grown, heh.”
“It’ll be fine, honestly,” Hayley said softly as she propped herself up on her elbows. “You’re her dad. No one can take that away from you, not even Kerry.”
“Yeah, I know that,” Amy sighed. “And Kerry knows that as well, and my parents… everyone apart from the one person who really matters.”
“Jade herself?” Hayley asked, smiling sympathetically as her friend nodded. “I wish I knew what to say. Hell, I wish I could go along with you today, like, for moral support.”
“Yeah, so do I,” Amy said, her shoulders slumping. “I- I should get showered, get ready to head out, sort of thing.”
“Whatever you need, just ask,” Hayley said. “You know that applies for literally everything, right?”
“Team ASH forever,” Amy giggled. “And… maybe rethink your use of the word ‘literally’ next time, heh!”
“Oh- shut up,” Hayley snorted as she threw her pillow at the ginger-haired girl, giggling as it was immediately thrown back at her. “How- umm, if you don’t mind me asking that is, how are, like, ‘things’ with you and Sophie?” Hayley bit her lip as Amy paused to consider her answer, sensing that despite the time that had passed, it was still a sensitive subject for her two best friends.
“We’re… in a good place,” Amy replied. “That’s about all I can really say right now without talking to her, heh. But we- we don’t really need to say anything, you know? I’ve put it in the past. Moved on. Got closure. But most importantly, she’s still my friend.”
“Team ASH forever,” Hayley said, echoing her friend’s earlier giggle. “Ahh… it is weird, you know? How none of us have really had a serious relationship since we started living together?”
“Meh, you and I both know that oestrogen can do a REAL number on your libido,” Amy retorted with a shrug. “And Sophie… heh. I think she still thinks that no woman would ever want to be with- well, with her. She’s wrong, obviously. I mean, I’m not that woman, I’m really, really not, but- she’s still wrong. She deserves love. Hell, we all do. And god knows Sophie’s not alone in having ‘baggage’, but- you know? If I had to choose between having a long-term girlfriend, even, like, a lifetime partner, or seeing my daughter, then Jade wins every time. And it isn’t even close.”
“You really are a great dad,” Hayley said softly, earning a smile from her friend. “Good luck today. Not that you’ll need it.”
“Thanks,” Amy whispered as she headed to the shower.
Half an hour later, Amy left the flat, bound for Victoria station. As she rode the tube, Amy felt her anxiety levels rise almost uncontrollably. Outwardly, she was the picture of confidence- dressed in a smart black skirt, a dark green turtleneck and low-heeled shoes, she looked just like any other young woman going about her day. On the inside, though, though, she was filled with doubt and with nerves. Would Kerry even allow her to see Jade, with covid still being a threat? Would Jade even want to see the woman she considered to be her aunt? And most of all, would Amy be able to see Jade without her heart breaking in half?
Amy’s anxiety was relieved somewhat when she arrived outside Sittingbourne station to be greeted by the smiling (albeit masked) faces of her parents.
“Hello Amy!” the young woman’s father said, giving his daughter a wave despite her desperate and obvious need for a hug. “Good train ride down?”
“Meh, quiet one at least,” Amy replied as she waved at her mother. “It’s been the same way on flights lately too.”
“Well, surely that’s a good thing?” Amy’s mother asked. “It shows that people are still taking the virus seriously, as they should.”
“And makes life quieter for you too, right?” Amy’s father asked.
“Yeah, well, there’s such a thing as TOO quiet,” Amy sighed. “The less hard I work, the less likely the airline is to need my work. A lot of the other girls, mostly the ones who came to work here from abroad, have already gone back to their home countries.”
“I remember you saying that French girl you lived with went home right around the time of the first lockdown,” Amy’s father mused.
“Yep,” Amy sighed. “And as she couldn’t get shifts when her dad owned the place, it doesn’t bode well for the rest of us. But maybe- maybe I’m being paranoid, I dunno. Today- today isn’t about me, heh.”
“Absolutely,” Amy’s mother said with a happy smile. “And if the worst does happen, you know you’ve always got a bed waiting for you at our house.”
“Even if there might be a bit of a queue for the bathroom in the morning!” Amy’s father laughed, making his daughter roll her eyes.
“I’ve lived with two or three women for the last three years, I’ll be fine,” Amy retorted. “Heh, I’ll probably BE the queue for the bathroom, heh!”
“And if you do need to move back home, you’ll at least be closer to Jade,” Amy’s mother said, making the young woman pause for thought.
“True,” Amy said with a smile. Even if I would be further away from Sophie and Hayley, the young woman thought to herself. No having your cake and eating it…
A short while later, the family arrived at the small park where they'd agreed to meet, and it didn’t take long for Amy and her parents to spot the seven-year-old girl and vice versa. Amy braced herself for the usual disappointment of her daughter greeting her parents before her, but she smiled when Jade gave her an unexpected surprise.
“Auntie Amy!” The ginger-haired little girl exclaimed as she saw Amy come into view and sit down on a bench six feet away from her. “Grandma! Grandpa!”
“Hi sweetie!” Amy said, her wide grin obvious even beneath her mask. “Wow, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you!”
“You saw me all the time on the computer!” Jade reminded the woman she believed to be her aunt, who replied with a happy giggle.
“Well- that’s true,” Amy said, before keeping her anger in check as her ex-partner sat down next to their daughter. “H- hi, Kerry.”
“Hello, Amy,” Kerry said coldly, before perking up as she addressed her daughter’s grandparents. “Hi Phil, Kate, I thought I’d better stick around for today’s visit as you can’t come within two metres and somebody really should, like, keep ‘hold’ of Jade.”
“That- that’s okay,” Amy’s father said, even as his daughter started to fidget at her ex-partner trying to side-line her yet again.
“Auntie Amy,” Jade said, making the ginger-haired woman perk up again, “do you like my new dress?”
“You look so pretty!” Amy exclaimed as the little girl unzipped her coat to show off the fancy red garment. “When did you get that?”
“Grandma bought it for me from Amazon during the summer holiday!” Jade replied with a wide grin. Which was two months ago, and this is the first time I've seen you since then, Amy thought to herself as she tried her hardest not to cry- or frown with anger at Kerry’s smug grin.
“Have- have you been enjoying going back into school?” Amy asked, smiling as her daughter nodded.
“It’s nice being able to play with my friends again, even if we can’t get too close to each other,” Jade replied, before fidgeting awkwardly in her seat- something that all of the adults present couldn’t help but notice.
“…Jade, sweetie?” Amy asked. “Are- are you okay?”
“I- I think she’s just a bit cold,” Kerry replied. “We’d better not stay outside too long.”
“No, I’m not cold,” Jade protested, her nerves still obvious to the adults present. “Auntie Amy, at school we’ve been learning about people who are different to other people.”
“…Okay,” Amy replied. “Well, everybody’s different from everyone else, right? Even identical twins are different, as they might like different things. You said there’s a pair of twins in your school, aren’t there?”
“Yes,” Kerry replied with a smile. “My friends Millie and Maisie, who go to gymnastics club with me before the virus meant we couldn’t. But there’s another girl who goes to gymnastics club, an older girl called Faith.”
“Umm, okay,” Amy said as Jade’s mother scowled at the young girl.
“I told you not to talk about her,” Kerry whispered, though her voice was still loud enough for Amy to clearly hear.
“No, it’s okay,” Amy said, her heart beating faster as she dared to hope that Jade was about to give her a reason- any reason- to tell her the truth about herself.
“Faith says that she wasn’t always a girl, but she was born as a boy,” Jade continued. “But she’s not allowed to get changed with us, even though she wears the same leotard that we all do and wears a skirt to school instead of trousers.”
“O- okay,” Amy said nervously. Please, Amy thought to herself. Please, Jade, please ask me what I think you want to ask me…
“Jade? Enough,” Kerry said, grabbing her daughter’s arm.
“No, let the girl speak,” Amy’s mother said as she gave her daughter’s hand a supportive squeeze. “I want to know more about this Faith girl. Do you play with her much at school?”
“No,” Jade replied sadly. “She goes to a different school, and she’s ten, so she’s older than me. And mummy says she wouldn’t like me playing with her anyway.”
“Jade!” Kerry snapped, startling her daughter. “That’s enough now.” Amy felt her heart break as her daughter frowned and her bottom lip began to tremble.
“But I wanted to ask Auntie Amy-“ Jade whined.
“No,” Kerry said firmly as Amy took a deep breath.
For years, Amy had told Kerry that there would come a time when Jade would figure out that the woman that she thought was her aunt was not, in fact, her aunt. Amy had warned Kerry that she wouldn’t be able to ‘shelter’ Jade forever, not even with the 'help' of the global situation. That she would eventually ask why she only ever saw her ‘aunt’ instead of her father, even over video calls. However, Amy hadn’t anticipated the question coming so soon- and had especially not anticipated it coming in the middle of a global pandemic, when Amy hadn’t been able to so much as hug her daughter for months. And while Amy desperately wanted to be asked the question she longed to hear, she was forced to admit to herself that she didn’t know whether or not she’d be brave enough to tell Jade the truth- especially considering Kerry’s threats in the past. It was, after all, better that Jade see her as her aunt as opposed to never seeing her at all…
“G- go on, Jade,” Amy whispered, deflecting Kerry’s angry glare with a determined look of her own.
“My gymnastics teacher says that if they want, boys can become girls and girls can become boys, and it doesn’t matter how old they are,” Jade mumbled, pulling her hand free from her mother’s and walking over to the woman she was told was her aunt. “Auntie Amy, are you- are you really my daddy?” Amy felt her breath catch in her throat as the question was asked. Amy glanced over at the bench where Kerry was sat and flinched when she saw the anger in the young woman’s eyes. Amy knew the risks, but also knew that she might never get another opportunity- and that her daughter deserved the truth.
“…Yes,” Amy whispered emotionally. “Yes, I am your fa-“ Amy paused as Jade suddenly leapt into her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck and squeezing her tight.
“I missed you, daddy,” Jade sobbed into her father’s shoulder.
“I- I missed you too,” Amy whispered as she wrapped her arms around her daughter.
“That’s it, we’re going,” Kerry snarled, marching over to where the family were sat and snatching her daughter’s hand.
“No!” Jade petulantly wailed. “I want to stay with my daddy!” Amy bit her lip to keep herself from speaking out of turn and making the situation worse, but it did nothing to stop the tears that were trickling from her eyes.
“She can’t be your daddy, she’s your Auntie Amy, I’ve told you this before!” Kerry said, her voice quivering with anger.
“But if Faith can become a girl, why can’t daddy?” Jade asked.
“Because-“ Kerry replied, before pausing as she realised she had no answer for her daughter. “Because I said so. Now come on!”
“Well, I say I CAN become a woman, and I AM a woman,” Amy said firmly. “That doesn’t stop me from being Jade’s father, it doesn’t stop me from loving her and it definitely won’t stop me from being in her life.”
“No, but I can!” Kerry snapped.
“No!” Jade said, tears freely flowing from her eyes. “Please don’t take my daddy away again!” Kerry reached for her daughter again, but paused as she saw the pain in her eyes, and the look of pleading in not just Amy’s eyes, but her parents’ as well.
“…What’s most important,” Amy’s father said in a calm, quiet voice, “it’s what’s best for Jade.”
“I’m her mother,” Kerry retorted. “I should decide what that is.”
“Even if Jade herself disagrees with you?” Amy’s mother asked, smiling sympathetically as Kerry lowered her head. “I think- I think we all need to talk this through a bit more carefully. Like adults.”
“A- agreed,” Amy said, before taking a deep breath and looking her daughter in the eye. “Jade, I- I’m sorry I had to lie to you all this time. Your mo- umm, that is, we- we thought it was best that you didn’t know the truth in case it made you confused.”
“But what’s so confusing about a boy who doesn’t like being a boy and wants to be a girl instead?” Jade asked, earning a wide, happy smile from her father.
“Nothing at all,” Amy whispered, staring into her ex-partner’s eyes as she was emboldened by her daughter’s defiance. “Isn’t that right, Kerry?” Amy allowed herself a small, triumphant smile as Kerry silently nodded, before inviting her to take her daughter's hand again.
“We should- we should find somewhere to eat,” Amy’s mother said softly. “Have you had lunch yet, Kerry?”
“N- not yet,” Kerry replied in a voice barely louder than a whisper. “What- what time do you have to go back to London, Amy?”
“I- I can stick around a bit longer,” Amy replied with a smile, which widened as her daughter grinned at her in a way she hadn't done since Amy had started living life as a woman- but which Amy hoped she would see many, many more times in the future.
Amy returned to London later that evening, feeling like she was floating on air throughout the entire train ride home. With the truth becoming known to Jade, the young girl had insisted that she be allowed to see her father more frequently, and realising that she risked alienating her daughter if she refused, Kerry had eventually agreed to weekly visits with Amy at Amy’s parents’ house- though all present acknowledged that the arrangement would have to be agreed by a family worker and subject to any future lockdowns. Nonetheless, as she made the short walk back from the tube station to her flat, Amy felt a renewed sense of optimism about her life. However, as she walked through her front door, she quickly realised that feeling wouldn’t last for much longer.
“Gooooood evening, girls!” Amy said with a giggle as she entered the flat and dropped her coat and bag. “Everyone have a good Saturday?” Amy’s smile faltered as she saw the serious look on her flatmates’ faces. “…What?”
“Didn’t- didn’t you get the call?” Hayley asked.
“What call?” Amy asked as she fished her phone out of her handbag. “I had my phone on silent all day, I didn’t want to be disturbed… A missed call from the airline? At 4pm on a Saturday?”
“I didn’t get one, obviously, but- yeah,” Sophie grimaced. “You’ve been kinda- kinda called in to the airport on Monday.”
“A shift?” Amy asked as she listened to the voicemail, her face quickly falling. “…Not a shift, then.”
“We’ve ALL been called in,” Hayley said solemnly. “Literally, everyone who currently works for the airline in London, and not just cabin crew.”
“Well- okay,” Amy sighed. “That’s not a good sign, then.”
“Nope,” Hayley said, before shaking her head. “Anyway- sorry, Amy, you were in such a good mood when you came home too. Did it go well with Jade and your family?”
“It- it doesn’t really matter much, really,” Amy mumbled, earning frustrated groans from her friends.
“Oh- come on,” Sophie sighed. “Normally, when you come back from Kent, you look like you’re about to kick the sofa out the window, but today you’re happier than I’ve ever seen you.”
“Soph’s right,” Hayley said. “Just ‘cause we’ve had bad news, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t celebrate if you’ve had good news. Sooo… what happened?”
“Well…” Amy said, her smile returning as she teased her friends. “Let’s just say that Jade won’t be calling me ‘auntie’ anymore, not when she prefers the word ‘daddy’, anyway.”
“Oh- oh my god, really?” Hayley squeaked, yelling with excitement as Amy nodded and the three women shared a tight group hug.
“How- how did your ex react?” Sophie asked.
“Pissed off would be an understatement,” Amy replied. “But she realised that she can’t keep Jade away from her daddy, now that she knows the truth, anyway. I mean- there’s a lot, a LOT we still need to work out, but we have at least agreed to work it all out. Heh, and one of those things will be how I’m going to pay Jade’s child support if I suddenly become unemployed…”
“Well, regardless, we should celebrate,” Sophie said. “Something like this DESERVES to be celebrated. And no, I’m not just saying that to get an interview out of you for any book, I know you don’t want me and my recording app anywhere near Jade.”
“Thanks,” Amy said softly. “Though I reckon me sending a copy of your book to Kerry did help out, even if she didn’t explicitly say it out loud. What apparently did it was Jade having a trans friend who goes to the same gymnastics club as her. Who’s only ten, heh.”
“Wow,” Hayley said. “Kinda makes you wonder what your life would’ve been like if you could’ve transitioned when you were ten, doesn’t it?”
“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it,” Amy sighed as she and the girls sat back down. “I mean, I DEFINITELY knew when I was ten that I was, well, ‘wrongly aligned’.”
“Same here,” Hayley said with a sad smile.
“Yeah, I- I wasn’t QUITE there when I was ten…” Sophie mumbled, earning sad sighs from her friends.
“Oh- god, Soph, I’m so sorry…” Amy sighed. “I mean, how many times have I forgotten over the last three years?”
“Not as many times as I have, I can guarantee you that,” Sophie giggled as she gave her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze.
“It doesn’t matter where or when you started, just the path you’re on,” Hayley chuckled.
“…And I thought I was the writer in this house!” Sophie teased her friend, who rolled her eyes.
“ANYway,” Hayley said with a chuckle, “what I was thinking was that we should have, like, a Zoom party.”
“Oh, you- you don’t have to on my behalf, seriously,” Amy said.
“Well, if not for you, then for all of us,” Hayley said. “If this is going to be our last weekend as Soixante-Trois employees?”
“But we should celebrate your good news somehow,” Sophie insisted.
“It’s getting a bit late now to start organising a party,” Amy said as she glanced at her phone. “Let alone a costume party, heh.”
“Umm, who said anything about it being a costume party?” Hayley asked.
“I did,” Amy replied smugly. “If we’re going to celebrate, we’re going to do it properly.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Sophie said. “So… what theme did you have in mind?”
“If it’s going to be a ‘final hurrah’, then it should really be our work uniforms, shouldn’t it?” Hayley asked.
“Which we’re not allowed to take out of the airport,” Amy reminded her friend. “So how about a different type of uniform? The one that we were just commenting on how we weren’t allowed to wear them as kids?”
“Pretty sure we’ve done a school uniform party before,” Sophie said. “Either that or there’s some other reason there are five pleated skirts in my wardrobe.”
“Umm, because you look cute in them?” Hayley asked, earning a giggle from her friend. “Seriously though, it’s a good call, a costume we’ve worn before, so we can save money and time… yeah, it sounds fun, hehe! I’ll send a message round, let the girls know and, like, get everything sorted for tomorrow night.”
“One ‘final hurrah’,” Amy chuckled.
“Of course,” Sophie mused, “the airline COULD be calling with good news, like, announcing the transatlantic route they’ve been working toward for years?”
“Well,” Amy said smugly, “if that’s the case, then we’ll have even more reason to celebrate, won’t we?” The three girls all cheered, even as they knew that Amy's optimism was almost certainly misplaced.
After a quick dinner, the three women spent the rest of the evening relaxing by watching television and browsing social media before heading to bed. Despite her anxiety about Monday’s meeting, Amy found herself falling asleep almost immediately following the day's excitement. While she woke up the following day still nervous about the upcoming meeting, she was soothed by the knowledge that no matter what happened with her professional life, when the meeting ended, she would still be Jade’s father- and Jade would still call her ‘daddy’.
However, while Amy started the day feeling optimistic and well-rested, Hayley felt more and more anxious about the impending meeting. Unlike Sophie and Amy, she was not on good terms with the rest of her family, with the exception of her father- but even she lived a long train ride away, unlike Sophie and Amy's families. For Hayley, independence wasn’t 'a' choice- it was her only choice. She needed her job in order to continue living, and the prospect of unemployment, of living on the breadline, made her shiver with fear. She knew that if she asked, her friends would help her out financially, but she didn’t want to be seen by them as a burden, even when covid had meant that other jobs were few and far between. What she feared the most, though, was that without a job, she wouldn’t be able to afford to be a woman.
As her flatmates stirred, Sophie found herself lying awake in bed, pondering her friends’ situation- in particular, how she’d be able to help if the worst came to the worst. In the three years since she’d first become ‘Sophie’, the young writer had come to consider her friends to be even closer than some members of her family- and not just Amy and Hayley, but all of the other friends she’d made. Even those who no longer worked for the airline, such as Natalie or Rachel Lyscombe, still held an important place in the young writer’s heart, which helped to comfort Sophie to know that even if the worst did happen, ‘Team ASH’ would live on- but she was forced to acknowledge that in all likelihood, nothing would ever be the same again.
“Morning, you two,” Sophie said as she eventually lumbered out of her bedroom, finding Amy and Hayley both awake and fully dressed. “What’s the plan for today, then?”
“If by ‘today’ you mean ‘daytime’, then same as every other Sunday since March,” Amy replied with a chuckle. “Watching TV, playing videogames, wishing I’d squeezed my body into a leotard to pirouette around a dance studio, heh.”
“Yeah, I miss those lessons too,” Sophie chuckled.
“Reckon they’ll keep going even if we do get the chop?” Hayley asked nervously.
“Well, given that I haven’t worked for the airline for a while, but I still love the lessons, I hope so,” Sophie replied. “But seriously… I dunno. I mean, before, there was no guarantee that we’d be free on any given Sunday, but we would be free on most, if you know what I mean?”
“I think I do,” Amy mused. “Whereas at a different job, we might have to work EVERY Sunday. But- whatever. It won’t stop us from hanging out with everyone, right?”
“And there’s a chance that we might not even be getting laid off tomorrow anyway,” Hayley said, before sighing. “…Yeah, I don’t think so either, heh. But, you know, it’s not true until they say it, right?”
“I guess,” Amy shrugged, before smiling. “Regardless of what happens… right?”
“Team ASH forever?” Sophie asked.
“Team ASH forever!” The three women cheered, lifting the spirits of the flat as Sophie made her breakfast while Amy and Hayley continued to send invitations for that evening’s virtual party.
The three women spent the afternoon relaxing, preparing for the evening ahead and avoiding discussing the following day’s meeting. Eventually though, the clock ticked over to 6pm, and after a quick dinner, Amy, Sophie and Hayley returned to their bedrooms to get ready for the evening’s party- though all of them were keenly aware that their circumstances were almost certainly about to change. Nonetheless, it didn’t stop them from being determined to enjoy the night ahead- nor did it stop them from putting maximum effort into their costumes.
“Miss ‘Arris! Miss ‘Arris!” Hayley yelled in a broad, faux London accent as she emerged from her bedroom, adjusting the tiny, pleated skirt of her costume as she made her ginger-haired roommate giggle and roll her eyes. “Sophie just pulled my hair!”
“The same Sophie who isn’t even in the room?” Amy asked, adjusting the fake glasses and tight pencil skirt of her 'strict teacher' costume. "Miss Fisher, you know better than to tell tales!”
“Yes, Miss Harris,” Hayley said with a mock pout, before sharing a giggle with her friend. “And who made you the teacher, anyway?”
“My party, my rules,” Amy replied smugly.
“Where is Sophie, anyway?” Hayley asked as she began fiddling with her laptop. “Not like her to be the last one to get ready…”
“As if there was any doubt that she’s a real girl?” Amy said, sharing a giggle with her flatmate.
“I never doubted it,” Hayley said, giggling again as she attached a cable from her laptop to the apartment’s television. “Don’t suppose you feel like giving me a hand with this, do you?”
“Maybe if I was able to walk,” Amy replied, giggling as she gestured to her shoes- more specifically, their 2-inch platforms and 7-inch spike heels.
“Why even buy those shoes if you can’t walk in them?” Hayley asked, before blushing and giggling.
“…Exactly,” Amy teased her friend. “We need no excuse to be cute or sexy. Even if I maybe wouldn’t have splashed out on these if I knew my income was going to- well, yeah…”
“Well- what’s the point of even having a job if you’re not able to enjoy the wages?” Hayley asked.
“My thoughts entirely,” Amy said with a grin. “And what is taking Sophie so long?” Amy’s question was answered mere seconds later, when the door to Sophie’s room opened, and the opening bars of ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ filled the flat.
“Oh, baby baby!” Hayley giggled as Sophie strutted out into the living room, dressed in the same tiny skirt, cut-off blouse and pigtails Britney Spears had worn in her famous music video.
“Miss Connelly!” Amy chastised. “Do you really think THAT is an acceptable uniform?”
“Do you really think I DON’T look cute?” Sophie asked, biting her lip as a brief, awkward silence passed between her and Amy. Even though both women had agreed to put their ‘dalliance’ in the past, there remained a spark of attraction between them- though both Amy and Sophie treasured their friendship too much to risk it yet again.
“Britney has NOTHING on you,” Amy replied, sharing a giggle with her friend.
“On any of us,” Hayley giggled as she logged into Zoom and the faces of several of their friends appeared on the flat’s television.
“Hey everyone!” The grinning face of Abbey Watkins cheered as she adjusted the waistband of her tiny tartan skirt. “Thanks for the idea for the party, Team ASH! I think it’s just what we all need today, heh, especially with what we’re probably going to be told tomorrow.”
“Do you really think it’ll be THAT bad?” Danni Deane asked. “I mean, they can’t lay off ALL of us, right?”
“No talk of work tonight!” Amy ordered, making Danni giggle and blush. “Your teacher commands it!”
“Tonight is to be all about fun and friendship,” Hayley said. “Or, I suppose, camaraderie would be a better word.”
“The best part of working for the airline:” Sophie interjected. “The awesome people you get to work with!” Sophie grinned as the women on the screen all cheered. “Even if I haven’t actually worked with any of you for a while, so thanks for letting me intrude, heh.”
“Oh please, as if you’re ‘intruding’,” Abbey snorted.
“You’ll always be one of us, honey,” Annabelle teased.
“One of us! One of us!” The assembled women all chanted as Sophie’s cheeks reddened.
“Aww, guys…” Sophie mumbled.
“Ah-ah-ah!” Abbey chastised. “No GUYS allowed tonight!”
“Does that mean I can only attend from the armpits upward?” Rachel Harrison asked with a smirk as her face appeared on screen, closely followed by her extended mid-section.
“No, you and your son can stay,” Hayley giggled. “Provided he stays where he is for the party!”
“Chance’d be a fine thing,” Rachel chuckled. “This little fella can’t keep still for more than ten seconds, it’s going to be a bit frantic around here when he’s finally born!”
“Reckon you’ve got, like, a footballer in there then?” Abbey asked.
“There is no reason that he could not be a dancer, just because he is a boy,” Zoe said as she and her spouse appeared on screen, both dressed 'appropriately' in short, pleated skirts and with their hair in pigtails. “And if he should wish, there is a space for him at my dance class, even if he wears shorts and a t-shirt and not a leotard.”
“Thank you, Madame Renou-Briggs!” Rachel giggled. “I’ll leave it up to him if he wants to take you up on the offer, though. I’ve learned enough over the last few years to know that I shouldn’t, like, ‘force’ anything on my child, whether that’s hobbies, clothes or whatever.”
“God knows there are a few parents who could stand to learn THAT lesson,” Hayley mused. “But- whatever. We’re not here to sulk, we’re here to party!” Amy, Sophie and Hayley all grinned as the assembled women on screen all cheered and raised their glasses. “Are we waiting on anyone else?”
“I think everyone who lives in the UK is here,” Natalie replied. “I’ve messaged my sister, not heard back yet but I reckon she’ll be up for the party. Same goes for those on the west side of the Atlantic, heh.”
“I hope they’ll be able to make it,” Sophie mused.
“Not that we’re disappointed with anyone here, of course,” Amy cheered. “We’re all Soixante-Trois girls, past and present, and this sisterhood will last forever.” The ginger-haired girl grinned as she earned another cheer from the women on-screen. “Even if SOMEONE decided she also wanted to dress as the teacher…”
“Well, I AM the oldest here,” Rachel retorted as she adjusted her smart suit over her bump. “And that’s HEADteacher, Miss Harris! Besides, it’d be a bit inappropriate to dress as a 6-month pregnant schoolgirl, wouldn’t it?”
“You clearly never went to my school, heh,” Amy snorted, frowning as she unwittingly triggered an awkward silence. “Okay, I know you’re all thinking it, yes, I became a parent when I was seventeen, but that’s part of why we’re here today- I saw my daughter and her mother today, and things- well, let’s just say that things there are looking a LOT brighter there.” Amy blushed as she earned another cheer from the assembled women, though as Sophie looked at the screen, her attention was drawn toward the newcomer in the bottom-left corner.
“Hey Rachel!” Sophie said with an eager smile. “Rachel L, that is.”
“Hi everyone!” The youthful face of Rachel Lyscombe said, reflecting her former roommate’s smile. “Thanks for the invitation, it was a bit short notice, but thankfully I live with a sixteen-year-old sister who just left secondary school, so a costume was easy enough to come by, heh!” The assembled women all giggled as the young blonde woman stood up to show off the navy blazer and pleated skirt that she was wearing. “And lucky that Nicki doesn’t need this anymore, or I’d have had a LOT of awkward questions to answer, heh.”
“We’re just glad you could make it at all,” Amy said.
“Well… it IS my birthday tomorrow,” Rachel L said hesitantly. “And even with lockdown being ‘eased’ it’s not like I was going to get another party, heh.”
“Oh- shit, I can’t believe I forgot about that!” Amy gasped. “Well- we’ll just have to have an even bigger celebration today, heh!”
“Honestly, you don’t have to on my behalf,” Rachel L said softly. “My parents and my sisters have said they’ll be treating me tomorrow, like, not a ‘party’ party but staying at home, getting a fancy takeaway, that sort of thing. I’m 22 tomorrow so the big party was last year anyway, heh.”
“Still though, we’ll do SOMETHING,” Sophie insisted. “Maybe- maybe next weekend?” Sophie bit her lip as she asked her question- despite everything that had happened, and even though she had been rejected by her before, Sophie still felt a strong attraction toward the young blonde woman.
“That- that sounds fun,” Rachel L said hesitantly. “But I- I kinda have plans next weekend. Like, with- with Lucas.”
“Your- your ex-boyfriend?” Sophie asked, trying not to frown as the young blonde woman nodded.
“Well, not ‘ex’ anymore,” Rachel L said with a bashful grin as the assembled women all ‘oohed’. “Me and Lucas got talking after the first lockdown, we’d both been really lonely and- yeah. One thing led to another… Yeah.”
“You go, girl!” Abbey giggled, even as Sophie felt her heart start to sink.
Ever since she became ‘Sophie’, her love life had been effectively non-existent. Her ‘mistake’ with Amy the previous December notwithstanding, Sophie had assumed that her ‘status’ had meant that no woman would even think about dating her, and that she should put her love life on hold until her time as ‘Sophie’ was over. However, as ‘Sophie’ gradually became her 'main' identity, while ‘James’ still remained a significant part of her, Sophie found herself having to accept that if she was to be the person she always wanted to be, she would always be alone. However, while Sophie realised that a relationship with Rachel would never happen, she was filled with confidence by the example of many of her other friends. Natalie and Zoe’s wedding, which Sophie had attended two and a half years earlier, had proved to her that no matter who you are, love was always available for you somewhere- and the example provided by the final couple to join the party was absolute proof of that statement.
“Hey everyone!” The smiling face of Jessica Robertson-Tyler said as she appeared on screen, cuddled up next to her Scottish wife on their sofa.
“Jess!” Abbey squeaked excitedly. “Paige! I thought you guys weren’t going to make it?”
“Aye, well, we had to kinda ‘improvise’ our costumes a bit,” Paige replied as she gestured to the plain white blouses and knee-length grey skirts worn by her and her wife. “But we’re NEVER gonna miss a get together of the tutu project!”
“Even if we are not wearing tutus today for this party,” Zoe said with a derisive snort of laughter.
“…Okay, if I have to take a drink every time I talk about our hopefully soon-to-be ex-president,” Paige said with a smug smirk.
“Oui, oui, fine,” Zoe sighed as she took a swig of her wine. “And you are not sick of election news yet?”
“Sick to DEATH,” Jessica sighed. “I mean, it wouldn’t be so bad if it was, like, a ‘normal’ election, but this one… It genuinely feels in a way like it’s splitting the country apart. Like, if you don’t believe in a certain type of politics, you’re a traitor to America or something. I don’t remember anyone saying that about people who voted for Gore or Kerry, but- yeah. I think that’s FAR too much politics for any party!”
“Agreed!” Amy giggled. “So how about we get down to the IMPORTANT business tonight, of celebrating the survivors of Soixante-Trois Airlines, and- in all likelihood- the soon-to-be survivors?”
“AND your good news about your daughter!” Hayley reminded her roommate, who blushed as the other women all cheered.
“And young Rachel’s birthday tomorrow!” Annabelle cheered.
“And young Zoe’s birthday this Wednesday just gone!” Paige toasted as the Frenchwoman cringed.
“And not-as-young Rachel becoming a mama in a few weeks!” Zoe cheered.
“Thanks for not saying ‘old Rachel’,” Rachel Harrison snorted. “But while we’re making toasts, how about Sophie’s book continuing to sell well and helping- well, maybe not so much ‘our’ community, more ‘your’ community, so- yeah…“
“You’re an ally,” Paige said with a warm grin. “Always have been. That makes you part of this community as much as anyone else here.”
“Absolutely, honey,” Annabelle said, grinning as her ex-supervisor blushed.
“Maybe,” Abbey said, “maybe the toast should be to the Tutu Project- the best group of girls EVER!”
“The Tutu Project!” The assembled women all cheered as Hayley reached for her phone and their flat was filled with music.
The assembled women partied until late evening, gradually dropping out of the call one by one until Amy, Sophie and Hayley were left by themselves in their flat. As she cleared away the wine glasses, Sophie mused on her earlier thoughts regarding her love life, and how despite the fact that Rachel had spurned her, she still felt a touch of optimism about her future.
“Girls,” Sophie asked hesitantly. “Have you- have either of you noticed, like, how the three of us are still single, and have been for most of the time we’ve known each other? And no, before you say anything, this isn’t me asking either of you out, I’m just, like, making conversation, you know?”
“Good, because we don’t need to go THERE again,” Amy teased, smirking as her friend rolled her eyes. “But to answer your question… kinda? I dunno. I mean, it’s not like we can go to a bar and pick up anyone, thanks to- well, the same reason we were partying over Zoom instead of in person. But you’re right, even before covid, it’s not like we were, like, going on dates every night. I guess we were all busy with work, and you with your book and me trying to juggle work and seeing Jade… Dunno what Hayley’s excuse was, though.”
“My excuse was the same as you two, as you damn well know,” Hayley retorted with a snort of laughter. “Finding a guy who’s not hung up on, well, what’s ‘hung up’ underneath my skirt is never going to be easy, covid or no covid.”
“You’re 5’ 9” and easily cuter than either of us two,” Amy said bluntly. “Believe me, there ARE guys out there who’d kill to go out with someone like you.”
“Yeah, but would I want to go out with any of them?” Hayley sighed. “I mean, S-E-X isn’t everything. It’s not even close to the most important thing I look for in a guy.”
“What is, out of interest?” Sophie asked, smiling sympathetically as her friend shrugged.
“Someone who loves me for me, I guess,” Hayley replied. “That’s not too much to ask, surely?”
“I hope not,” Amy sighed. “But you are right, Sophie. Even when you ignore, like, the ‘mistake’ last Christmas, our most meaningful relationships- like, for all three of us- have been with each other. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade either of you girls for anything.”
“Me either,” Sophie whispered.
“Same here,” Hayley said with a happy sigh, before sharing a group hug with her flatmates.
“Whatever happens tomorrow,” Amy whispered emotionally, “we are Team ASH forever. Right?”
“Team ASH forever,” Sophie and Hayley whispered, even as all three women started to fill with anxiety about the following day.
Amy, Sophie and Hayley all headed to bed shortly after clearing up after the party, but all three women found themselves struggling to fall asleep, both from the excitement of the party and the anxiety of the following day. While Amy and Hayley were naturally worried for their job, they were also worried that parties like the one they’d held that evening would become a thing of the past, and that their wider group of friends would naturally drift apart without having the airline to unite them. Sophie found herself lying awake for almost the entire night with worry about this- while her employment with the airline had already ended, as she tossed and turned, it dawned on her that her entire social life as ‘Sophie’ had revolved around the airline. All of her closest friends were either current or former employees of Soixante-Trois, and while she’d made friends while researching her book, and through the wider network of friends she'd made through people like Natalie or Rachel, they weren’t as close to Sophie as her former colleagues were, and likely never would be. While Sophie reasoned that making friends was easier than finding a romantic partner, she was still wary- she didn’t like being alone, and the prospect of everyone going their separate ways made her nervous about her future, and whether any friends she made would accept 'Sophie' as readily as the Tutu Project had.
The three women all woke up early the following morning, wasting no time showering, getting made up and dressed ready for the day ahead- Sophie included.
“Umm, while we appreciate the support, Soph, you really don’t need to come with us today,” Hayley said as she slipped on her smart high-heeled shoes.
“With all the rules changing every other hour, I’m not sure you’d even be allowed in the airport concourse if you’re not flying anywhere,” Amy mused.
“Well, I’ll wait where I can for you,” Sophie insisted. “I’m not letting any of you go through this alone. And- heh. I’m not sure I want to be alone myself right now.”
“Ugh- yeah, I get that,” Hayley sighed as she gave Sophie a gentle hug, which quickly turned into a group hug for all three women.
“Team ASH forever,” The three women emotionally whispered, before leaving the flat and heading west toward the UK’s busiest airport.
As her friends and colleagues met with their management team, Sophie sat nervously in a socially distanced waiting area, fiddling with her phone and futilely checking for any updates. She wasn’t waiting for long, though, before her two flatmates approached her, dressed in their regulation blue uniforms, hats and facemasks.
“S- so?” Sophie asked nervously, before sighing and smiling sympathetically. “Is it- is it the worst-case scenario?”
“…Not quite,” Amy replied, making her friend frown with confusion.
“The- the Heathrow hub IS closing,” Hayley explained. “On December 31st, which I think we all expected. Apparently, Masson was haemorrhaging money keeping it open even before covid.”
“Be- because of the strike?” Sophie asked as she felt her insides start to churn. After everything she’d done to try to help her colleagues, the notion that she may have contributed to their unemployment horrified her.
“They didn’t say,” Amy replied quietly. “Soph… the strike WAS necessary. You know what happened to Rachel. It- it’s nothing you should feel guilty about. We ALL voted to join the union, we all voted on the industrial action. The hub closing is. Not. Your. Fault. Or any one individual’s.”
“Except Masson?” Sophie asked, still filled with guilt despite her friend's reassurances.
“Well- even there it’s a yes and no,” Amy replied. “While the hub’s closing, the airline isn’t, as it’s still doing enough trade out of Charles De Gaulle to be profitable, helped by subsidies from the French government.”
“They did- they did mention that the Berlin hub might also be closing,” Hayley interjected. “And that’s been open a LOT longer than Heathrow.”
“So- but, umm, still mass layoffs, though?” Sophie asked.
“Well- again, yes and no,” Amy said hesitantly. “Every- everyone’s been offered a job at the Paris hub. Though it- it means, obviously, we’d have to actually move to Paris to continue working for the airline.”
“…Oh,” Sophie mumbled. “And- and, you know, are- is, like, is anyone going?” Sophie bit her lip as she avoided asking the question she wanted to ask, fearing what the answer might be.
“Abbey and Annabelle are,” Amy replied. “They’re allowed to keep their promotions, so- yeah. Bit of a no-brainer for those two. I think Carly is as well, for the same reason. Alicia and Danni both plan to, and I think Tanisha will but Rhianna- Rhianna Ferguson- is kinda on the fence about it. I- I’m not. I mean, yes, Paris is hardly a million miles away from Kent- hell, it’s probably easier to get to Kent from Paris than it is from, I dunno, Birmingham or somewhere, but- I want to stay close to Jade. So, it was a no-brainer from me. And the redundancy package is pretty generous too. The one downside is that the girls who ARE going to Paris will get priority over the last Heathrow shifts, so I’m basically unemployed as of today.”
“Oh- okay,” Sophie said, her nerves easing as she turned to her other flatmate. “Hayley?”
“I- I dunno yet,” Hayley mumbled in reply, making Sophie’s heart sink. “I mean, I- I don’t have family who can support me, like you two, my dad lives in Bristol and she, like, rents a one bed flat, and jobs aren’t easy to come by even if you’re not trans…”
“Oh- okay,” Sophie mumbled. “Well, you- you’ve got to do what you need to do.”
“The one thing we know for certain, though,” Amy sighed, “is that the flat’s going.”
“What- what do you mean?” Sophie asked.
“The flat’s partly subsidised by the airline,” Amy replied with a shrug. “No more airline in London, no more subsidy, no more of us living there.”
“Which is part of why I’m- well, yeah…” Hayley mumbled. “I- I’m going to need to, you know, think it through, talk to- talk to my dad, like.”
“Okay,” Sophie whispered.
“Whatever you choose, we WILL support you,” Amy reassured her roommate. “Right, Sophie?”
“Of course,” Sophie replied. “Whether here or in France.”
“Thanks, girls,” Hayley said as she blinked back tears. “No matter what, Team ASH forever.”
“Team ASH forever,” Sophie whispered- though she was more doubtful of that statement than ever.
As Amy changed out of her uniform for the final time, Hayley sat beside her in the locker room pondering her future. Under ordinary circumstances, the thought of living and working in Paris excited her greatly. Hayley already knew how to do the job, had been working long enough to be in line for a promotion and got on well with all of her colleagues who would also be moving to Paris. And unlike Amy and Sophie, Hayley didn’t have any family in London or the surrounding areas… with the exception of Amy and Sophie themselves.
Like Amy and Sophie, Hayley had never had any friendships as close as the one she shared with her flatmates. Whenever she’d said ‘Team ASH forever’, she didn’t see it simply as a slogan, but as a promise to two women who meant more to her than any material possession, any blood relative- or even any career. And while Hayley knew that the time would eventually have to come for the trio to go their separate ways, even if it was just to live elsewhere, she wasn’t prepared to accept it just yet- even if she also knew that without a job, she wouldn’t be anywhere near able to afford to live in London.
Hayley knew she needed advice, but also knew that she couldn’t burden either Amy or Sophie with helping her to make her decision. If she stayed because they wanted her to, she feared that they’d feel guilty for keeping her from pursuing her career, whereas if they wanted her to stay, but she left, she felt like she’d be abandoning them. And she didn’t even want to consider the worst-case scenario of them encouraging her, or even worse yet, wanting her to leave…
“I- I’m just going to make a call,” Hayley said as Amy finished changing into the plain white bodysuit and black pinafore dress she’d worn to the airport. “Might be a few minutes if you want to head home.”
“Okay,” Amy said, concerned by her roommate’s sudden change in demeanour. “Hayley, are- is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I- I just have a bit of thinking to do, that’s all,” Hayley replied. “Big decision, like.”
“Well, whatever you decide, you know me and Soph will support you,” Amy said softly, giving her friend’s hand a supportive squeeze. “But- like, you- you’ve got to do what you need to, like.”
“Sure,” Hayley whispered, before gesturing to her phone. “I- I should make this call, like.”
“Sure,” Amy whispered, smiling as Hayley stepped out into the corridor and found a quiet corner, out of the way of anyone who might overhear.
“…Okay,” Hayley whispered, taking a deep breath as she dialled the top name on her contacts list. Hayley’s mood immediately improved and a smile spread across her face as the call was quickly answered.
“Hello Hayley!” The gentle midlands accent of Denise, Hayley’s father, said as she answered the phone. “I didn’t expect you to call today, is everything okay? Are you at work today?”
“Yeah, well, those two questions are kinda connected right now,” Hayley replied with a sigh. “And kinda why I’m calling. Dad, you- you know about passenger numbers being down, right? From the articles I’ve sent you over the last few weeks?”
“Yes,” Denise replied, before letting out a soft sigh. “Hayley are- are you still, as in, is everything okay with your job?”
“…Yes and no,” Hayley replied, biting her lip to keep her emotions in check. “Dad, I- I could really use some advice right now.”
“Well- of course, anything you need, just ask,” Denise said.
“I- I’m not unemployed,” Hayley said. “Well… not yet, anyway. I- the, umm, the London hub is closing. The airline say I can keep my job, but I’d have to move to Paris in order to do so.”
“And- and what do you want to do?” Denise asked.
“I- I dunno,” Hayley sighed. “I mean, it’s not like I LOVE the job, but I’m good at it and it pays well, and it’s not like there are loads of alternatives right now. But then again, it’s moving to a new city- new country, even. I’ll know some of the people there, but I’ll mostly be on flights with girls I don’t know, and I’ll be moving away from friends-and, like, family…”
“Well- well you can’t let ME hold you back,” Denise said. “You have to live your own life, Hayley, and whatever you choose to do, I’ll support you.”
“Yeah, well, I DO appreciate the support,” Hayley sighed, “but what I really need right now is advice.”
“And I’d like to give you some,” Denise said. “But you’ve got to do what’s right for you, and- well, yes, I am your dad, but you know yourself much better than I ever will. You’re a grown woman, Hayley. You’ve got to make your own decisions.”
“Well- I suppose,” Hayley sighed. “I guess sometimes I just need to be reminded of that, heh. Though god knows there are a few people out there who’d disagree with ‘woman’.”
“Your mother would probably also disagree with ‘grown’,” Denise snorted, making Hayley fidget- while she resented her mother for rejecting her after she came out, it still made her feel awkward to hear her father talk about her in those terms.
“Probably,” Hayley mumbled. “I- umm, I- I dunno. Naturally, the airline wants an answer as soon as possible, so- yeah.”
“I wish I could help you more,” Denise sighed. “But the decision has to be yours alone. Whatever you choose, though, I-“
“I know, you’ll be proud of me,” Hayley interrupted.
“Actually,” Denise said, “I was going to say ‘I hope you’ll still be able to visit from time to time’. Covid permitting, of course.”
“Of course,” Hayley chuckled. “And I will, I promise. If I ever figure out what I’m going to be doing, heh. Th- thanks for the chat, dad.”
“Anytime,” Denise replied warmly. “That’s what parents are for. I- I love you, Hayley.”
“Love you too,” Hayley whispered, sighing as her father ended the call. As she was preparing to put her phone back in her bag, though, her father’s words resonated in her head- ‘that’s what parents are for’.
Hayley had had virtually no contact with her mother in over three years. Her coming out had alienated her entire family, turning her mother from a doting parent to an anger-filled person Hayley barely even recognised in the blink of an eye. Hayley had put her mother’s anger down to how she felt when Denise had come out three years earlier, but in the years since, there had still been no contact between Hayley and her mother. Hayley had been reluctant to reach out to her mother, for fear of angering her further- or worse yet, being rejected further. However, Hayley was forced to admit to herself that a large part of her was more nervous that rather than reject her outright again, her family might accept her. Her relationship with her sister had continued to improve since their first meeting as sisters, and while there was still progress to be made- Hayley was frustrated by Lucy’s consistent use of her deadname- even the pandemic hadn’t been able to drive a wedge between them. However, Hayley’s mother still didn’t know about her daughters’ reconciliation, and Hayley had still not spoken to her brother at all since her coming out.
Hayley mulled over her options as she fiddled with her phone- she still had her family home's landline number memorised from when she was a child, and it would take mere seconds to type it onto her screen. Hayley knew that whether she made the call or not, her friends and family- her REAL family- would support her no matter what she chose, as proven by her talks with Amy and Denise. From her mother, though, she would receive nothing but brutal honesty, and while that sounded appealing to Hayley, she hesitated as honest or not, she had no way of knowing whether or not her mother would even care about her dilemma. When Hayley was still ‘Harry’, her mother had cared to the point of smothering her, and when she came out, her mother’s instant rejection of her had almost sent her into a state of shock. While Hayley had initially put it down to reopening old wounds concerning her father's coming out, she had, thanks to help from her counsellors, come to realise that her mother, to put it bluntly, was a narcissist. Hayley’s mother’s love had been conditional on her being male, which to Hayley, made it worthless. Nonetheless, she was still Hayley’s mother, and deep down, she still craved her acceptance- and her help.
With a deep breath, Hayley dialled the number for her mother’s home phone, hoping that it hadn’t changed in the three years since she left the house- though a part of her secretly hoped that it had changed, and gave her an excuse to avoid the inevitable confrontation. However, the call was answered after three rings, and Hayley steeled herself for the inevitable confrontation that was to come.
“Hello?” The gentle east midlands accent of Mrs Fisher asked.
“Hi mum,” Hayley said, making no effort to disguise her usual feminine tone. “Long time no speak.”
“You,” Mrs Fisher sneered angrily. “What do YOU want?”
“Well, I wanted to see how you were doing,” Hayley replied, casually dismissing the anger in her mother’s voice. “You, Lucy and Dylan, how you’ve been keeping during covid and all that.”
“Why should you care?” Mrs Fisher scoffed. “You didn’t care when you walked out on us.”
“Oh, you mean when you threw me out after doing nothing wrong?” Hayley retorted, instantly flinching after the words left her mouth- she didn’t want to be TOO confrontational too quickly.
“Nothing wrong?” Mrs Fisher laughed.
“Nothing wrong,” Hayley echoed. “Not a single thing, unless you count ‘living life as my true self’ and ‘making an effort to avoid crippling depression and misery’ as something ‘wrong’.”
“You had no thoughts of how confused your brother would react when you flounced off,” Mrs Fisher said, her anger audibly wavering.
“Yeah, well, as he’s now twenty, he can presumably think for himself,” Hayley retorted. “How- how is he, anyway? And before you say ‘why do you care’, I care because he’s my brother, and I still love him, believe it or not.”
“…He’s fine,” Mrs Fisher replied with a mumble. “He’s just started his third year at Lincoln Uni- well, studying remotely, doing forensic science.”
“Nice,” Hayley replied.
“Aren’t you going to ask about your sister as well?” Mrs Fisher asked.
“Well, I would, but I did speak to her a couple of weeks ago,” Hayley replied. “So I know that she’s getting married next summer- don’t worry, I’m not going to be a bridesmaid, I don’t even know if I’m invited yet- and I know that she's still furloughed. So- yeah. Dunno if she’s told you that we’ve been back in contact for ages, ever since she came to Bristol to meet up with me and dad.” Annnnd now I’ve ruined Lucy’s relationship with the family as well, Hayley ruefully thought to herself.
“Yes, well, as you said, she’s an adult as well,” Mrs Fisher mumbled. “And are you still a trolley dolly for that French airline?” Hayley bit her lip and tried not to bristle as her mother insulted her- the phone call had, so far, gone better than she could have hoped for, and she didn’t want to let her mother get under her skin and ruin it. Mostly, though, she didn’t want to give her mother ammunition to blame her for the failure of the call and cut off contact for another three years- or more.
“Well, as you might imagine, flight numbers have been way down since March, so I haven’t had as much work as normal over the last few months,” Hayley replied.
“I had assumed,” Mrs Fisher said. “And that’s definitely beyond your control right now.”
“Well- yeah,” Hayley said. “But what isn’t is- like, umm… The airline, they- they’re closing the hub at Heathrow. So I’m not technically out of a job, but- but I’d need to move to Paris in order to keep it.”
“Oh,” Mrs Fisher said. “Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
“Well- not yet,” Hayley replied. “They only announced the closure a few minutes ago.”
“…And you chose THIS as the reason to make contact after all this time?” Mrs Fisher asked.
“I just- I just needed to surround myself- well, sort of, anyway- with family,” Hayley replied. “I have- I have missed you, after all this time. But I just- I just couldn’t go on living the way I was. And I- I mean that literally, like.”
“Oh,” Mrs Fisher mumbled.
“And- and I don’t want to, you know, never see you again,” Hayley said, biting her lip as she sniffed back tears. “I just- I just needed to be who I really am, on the inside.”
“I see,” Mrs Fisher said stoically.
“And I- I need to know, like, that if I call again, you- you won’t just hang up on me,” Hayley whispered.
“…I won’t,” Mrs Fisher said. “Especially if you have to spend the extra money from France. Harry-“
“Hayley,” the young woman interrupted her mother, biting her lip as she pictured her anger- but if she wasn’t willing to accept something as relatively simple as her new name, then Hayley saw no future for the relationship between her and her mother.
“…Hayley,” Mrs Fisher corrected herself. “What you’re asking won’t be easy. But I can tell just from this conversation that this isn’t some silly little game you’re playing just to be like your ‘father’. You are your own person- your own, um, woman. So it’s your right to live however you want to live, whether I like it or not.”
“Th- thanks,” Hayley whispered. “Though I- I will let you know what I’ve decided to do, when I’ve, well, decided it.”
“Thank you,” Mrs Fisher said.
“So…” Hayley said hesitantly. “Dylan’s studying forensic science, then?” Hayley smiled as she relaxed and chatted with her mother for the first time in years.
The two women talked for another half an hour, before Mrs Fisher was called back to her home-based work, leaving Hayley feeling elated about her repaired relationship with her mother- though she knew she still had a long, long way to go. However, the phone call didn’t make Hayley’s choice any easier, and as she changed back into her casual clothes and left the airport, she was no closer to making her decision.
“Hey Hayley,” Amy said as the brown-haired girl returned to her apartment. “Everything okay?”
“Y- yeah,” Hayley replied, before taking a deep breath. “I’ve just- I’ve just been talking to my mum. On the phone, like, for almost half an hour.”
“Oh- really?” Amy asked, a wide grin spreading across her face. “This is awesome news! Soph, get out here!” Hayley giggled as Amy launched herself at her for a long, tight hug, which Sophie eagerly joined in with when she emerged from her bedroom.
“Yay!” Sophie giggled. “Why are we group hugging again?”
“…Hayley?” Amy asked.
“I- I kinda spoke to my mum today,” Hayley replied. “Like, successfully. Mended bridges, that sort of thing.”
“Oh my god, congratulations!” Sophie squeaked as she tightened her hug.
“Let- let’s not go TOO far here, okay?” Hayley said as she wriggled free of her flatmates’ arms. “It’s not like I’ve been welcomed back with open arms, I mean, I called her and she didn’t immediately slam the phone down. Doubt I’ll even get so much as a Christmas card from them this year, heh.”
“It’s still an important step, though,” Sophie said, her smile not wavering. “Heh, and here we were thinking Amy’s news was going to be the biggest thing to happen to Team ASH this week!”
“Well… I’m happy to call this one a tie, heh!” Amy giggled. “Though while I would normally say this calls for a celebration, maybe we should kinda put it off for now until our cash flow is a little more stable, heh.”
“Well- yeah, no argument here,” Hayley sighed. “Especially… especially because I’m not going to Paris.”
“Wh- what, really?” Sophie asked.
“Hayley, have you- have you thought this through?” Amy asked.
“I have,” Hayley replied. “I mean, yes, it’s not like jobs are easy to come by right now, but I have my first aid certificate and a whole armful of other qualifications from working with their airline, so I- I’ll be fine. Britain’s my home, it’s where I want to be, and- heh. Home is where the heart is, right? My heart is with my family. And I don’t mean my mum, my sister or even my dad. I mean you two.”
“Don’t- don’t stay just because you think we want you to stay,” Sophie said.
“I’m not,” Hayley whispered. “I’m staying because I want to stay. Team ASH forever and ever.”
“Even- even though you know we’ll have to leave this flat soon?” Amy asked. “And- and I’m going back to Sittingbourne, Soph will be staying in London with her parents… Team ASH is going to change, whether we like it or not.”
“But we’ll still be Team ASH, right?” Hayley asked, smiling as her friends chuckled and nodded.
“And we would- we WILL, even- if we’re in different countries,” Amy said.
“Girls, seriously,” Hayley said. “I’ve made my decision. I’m staying. A job is a job. But this? This is forever.” Hayley smiled as she shared another group hug with her friends, though deep down inside, she was forced to admit that they were correct- within weeks, they would be forced to leave the flat, and even if they could stay, they wouldn't be able to afford to without jobs. Nonetheless, Hayley, Amy and Sophie were determined to enjoy the remainder of their time together.
However, in what seemed like the blink of an eye to them, the time eventually came for the trio to leave their flat for the final time. As they dragged their packed cases and boxes out to the waiting vans, Amy, Sophie and Hayley paused for a second to take one final look at the home where they’d spent the previous three and a quarter years. All three women blinked back tears as they thought back over the many adventures they'd had together, none more than Sophie, as she realised that the flat was more than a simple residence- it was where she'd been reborn.
“…How many memories do you suppose are now sealed in these walls?” Sophie asked, her voice quivering with emotion.
“Didn’t realise you were a poet as well as a journo,” Amy teased her friend, who responded with a gentle elbow. “But seriously… yeah. Three of the best years of my life, even if you include covid and lockdowns and everything like that.”
“Same,” Hayley whispered. “I can’t- I can’t believe I’m going to wake up tomorrow and you girls aren’t going to be around…”
“Your dad’s not a bad substitute though, isn’t she?” Sophie asked, smiling as her friend nodded.
“Still not the same, though,” Hayley mumbled. “Especially as we’re in lockdown AGAIN, I- I really don’t know when I’m going to see you two again…” Sophie and Amy shared in the young woman’s tears as they pulled each other in for yet another group hug.
“Then let- let’s make a decision right here, right now,” Sophie said. “Covid permitting, we spend at least one Saturday a month together. A ‘Team ASH weekend’, just the three of us.”
“So… what?” Amy asked with a chuckle. “We keep meeting up once a month until we’re all in our eighties, getting together, mixing our drinks with Valium pills and dancing with Zimmer frames?”
“…First time I’ve ever actually looked forward to getting old,” Hayley giggled. “But- yeah. These last three years have been the best years of my life, bar none. I love you both so, SO much.”
“Same,” Amy whispered. “I never had sisters before I met the two of you. You’re not just friends, you’re family, and you always will be.”
“You- you two opened up my eyes, opened up my entire world, even, in a way I’d never even dreamed of,” Sophie said. “If it wasn’t for you, I genuinely don’t know where I’d be right now. But I know this for certain: I wouldn’t be anywhere near as happy as I am right now. Team ASH forever and ever!”
“Team ASH forever!” The three women all whispered emotionally, before sighing as they left the flat for the final time.
Amy, Sophie and Hayley shared one final group hug after locking the front door behind them, before heading to their separate vans and cars. Sophie let out a long sigh as she slid onto the passenger seat of her father’s Volvo, smiling as the older man smiled supportively at her.
“End of an era, eh?” Mr Connolly asked, smiling as his daughter sighed.
“In so many ways,” Sophie mumbled in reply. “Though I- I do just need you to be okay that, like, my ‘Sophie era’, like, isn’t coming to an-“
“Whether you’re my son, my daughter or simply my child, I will support you,” Mr Connolly said warmly, smiling as his child's eyes started to well up. “That will never end, kinda like the love you and your friends obviously have for each other.”
“Thanks,” Sophie whispered.
“Though I will say that I’m glad you’re not working for that airline anymore,” Mr Connolly said. “Not because I don’t like the idea of you in the uniform, because- well…” Sophie smirked as her father gestured to the plain black pencil skirt and thick tights covering her legs. “But because, well, it was a waste of your talents. You worked too hard on your degree to waste your time making coffee on an aeroplane.”
“My responsibilities were more than just THAT,” Sophie retorted. “And I wouldn’t trade my time there for anything. Okay, yes, I’m not going to miss making coffee for people obsessed with what I’ve got under my skirt, but- but the camaraderie there was- yeah. And it’s not just Amy and Hayley, they genuinely became like a second family to me.”
“Just as long as you remember who your FIRST family is as well,” Mr Connolly chuckled.
“I won’t, I promise,” Sophie said with a smile. “Thank you again, for- for just letting me be me, I guess.”
“I’ll never understand parents who don’t,” Mr Connolly said. “Hopefully your book will help educate some of those parents who forgot what unconditional love actually is. As well as all of the other books you’re going to write!”
“Well, maybe when I have an idea of what I’m going to write,” Sophie sighed. “And get a publisher, heh.”
“Reality hitting hard, then?” Mr Connolly asked with a chuckle.
“A bit,” Sophie shrugged. “But if I’ve learned anything over the last three years, it’s that I get to decide what my reality actually is.”
Sophie smiled as she thought back over the previous three years and the journey she'd taken. When Rachel had initially approached her, Sophie had initially been sceptical, then nervous about what the job entailed. Pretending to be a woman for six months was a prospect that Sophie had approached with trepidation, but as time went on, she’d grown to see it not as simply a job, but as an opportunity- an opportunity to build her own identity, unburdened by what everyone said she 'had' to be. By the end of her tenure with Soixante-Trois Airlines, Sophie no longer felt like she was just ‘pretending’ to be a woman. She’d laughed, loved and truly LIVED as the woman she never realised she truly was on the inside- and there were several years, decades even ahead of her to explore who she was and grow- not just as a woman, but simply as a person. Even if her professional future was uncertain, she knew that whatever she chose to do next, Sophie Connelly would have the love of family, the love of friends, and the confidence that could only be provided by being a strong, independent woman.
“Sophie!” The young woman’s mother said happily as she and her father entered the house, dragging her large cases with them. “Welcome home!”
“Thanks,” Sophie chuckled quietly. “Sorry I’ve got a lot of stuff with me, especially this weekend of all weekends!” The two women shared a giggle as Sophie gestured to the half-decorated Christmas tree in the corner of the room.
“Don’t worry about it one bit,” Mrs Connolly said. “Just drop your bags on the landing, you can unpack later after I’ve put the kettle on.”
“Thanks,” Sophie said, taking a deep breath as she started hauling her cases up the stairs, ready to start the next stage of her life.
A short while later, after everything had been safely put away, Sophie returned to the living room where she curled up with her phone and a cup of tea in her favourite mug. Sophie smiled with confusion as she discovered on her phone a voicemail from a number she didn’t recognise, but her smile widened as she listened to it.
“Hello Sophie, this is Joshua Benedict,” the man who had called her said in an ebullient African-London accent. “We have met before, but just in case, I am the owner of CEO of Heavenly Talent. I have been given your name by one of my business partners, Rachel Harrison, in connection with starting a publishing wing of my company. Please call me back when you get this message- don’t worry about calling late, I shall be available all day until late evening.” Sophie let out a giggle as she clicked the ‘return call’ button- her future suddenly looked VERY bright…