Welcome to the amazing world of Trixiebell Heartswoon!
Inspired by the Whitby Gothic Festival the story evolves around Zak Askwith and how he becomes Trixie not just for an expected weekend but as an ongoing thing - not exactly what he had expected when he met Rory at the pub.
Next time you see a Goth Princess consider whether it might just be Trixie!
Enjoy these words as they are intended, a purely fantastical story of greed, fun and a life unexpected.
Maddy
"So let me get this straight, you want me to be your girlfriend?”
"Just for the weekend,” Rory reaffirmed.
"And just why do you think I'd want to do that, beyond the obvious?”
"You get to go to the Festival for free?”
Well okay, it would be cool to go to Gothfest, the tickets sold out months ago so a freebie would be ace.
"Okay, you’ve got me there, Jane dumped you again I suppose?”
Jane’s my half sister, everyone assumes we’re twins as we share the same birthday, but in fact its only a wedding that relates us. Certainly made school interesting.
"No,” he replied defensively, "But you know she’s not into the scene, she’s going to London with the girls instead.”
"So what's with the girlfriend bit?”
"I've told everyone I'm taking my girlfriend.”
"Everyone like that moron Joseph with the top hat?”
"He’s not a moron, and the tickets are named, I sent off for them months ago.”
"Without asking Jane first I guess?”
"Maybe.”
"Couldn’t I just be ‘J Askwith’?”
"Yeah well about that.”
"What did you do?”
"Well you know they had that thing with the forgeries last year?”
"Yeah?”
It’d been all over the papers, something like five thousand punters had paid fifty quid a throw for forged tickets, there’d almost been a riot.
"Well they wanted photo’s, you know to id people?”
"And?”
"Well I scammed a pic off the net.”
"Who looks nothing like my sister?”
"Its not that so much.”
"What is it so much?”
"Easier to show you,” he pulled an envelope out his pocket, Rory handed it to me.
I opened it and withdrew the hallowed tickets. They really had gone to town to prevent forgeries this year, barcodes, names and across one end, a colour picture of the ticket holder. The top ticket was very recognisably Rory but the second…
"Geez Ror, couldn’t you have just found some random woman?”
"I thought I might convince Janey to dress up.”
The picture was a good likeness – of a Goth Goddess, it was only head and shoulders but there was no avoiding her girlish assets.
To be so close to going but so far, I might’ve even put a wig on to pretend to be my sister but this. I studied the ticket more closely, shit, Ro really went for it, full weekend, all venues for himself and "Trixiebell Heartswoon?”
"Well I thought it’d be a laugh.”
"For who? Geez its no wonder Jane said no.”
"So you think its a no go then?” he posed.
"Correctomundo dickhead, number one I'm not a girl, number two I'm not a girl and number three...”
"You’re not a girl,” Rory finished, "Guess it’ll be wasted then.”
He took ‘Trixie’s’ ticket and with a sigh went to tear it in half.
"Whoa! don’t do that!”
"Why?”
Why indeed?
"Er maybe we could find you someone else, someone better equipped for the job?”
"Tried everyone I know.”
"Nice to know I'm so far up the list,” I allowed.
"There is no one else Zak.”
To be honest I'm surprised he had a list. In fact I don’t see what Janey see’s in him, like me he’s a dedicated war gamer besides being into the Goth scene. My sister on the other hand is something of a disco diva, a girly girl, their common ground is me. what’s weird is I've known Rory longer than my ‘twin’, our parents got together when we were eight, I went to nursery with Ro.
I checked around the house again, all the curtains are closed, Mum’s gone to see Gran over in Mansfield and Jane’s at work, she’s some sort of manager at the Ibis. Me, well after Uni, a 2.1 in BSc Applied Mathematics, I'm the high-flyer, part time barista at the hospital coffee bar. The three of us live in the family home just outside Chessy – ironic really, Mum got custody of both of us when she divorced Dad, that’s Janey’s dad not mine, when we were fifteen, anyhow, having secured the house from curious neighbours I headed upstairs.
Half an hour later I was stood in front of Mum’s full length mirror wearing a dress ‘borrowed’ from my sister, my Dockers and the worst make-up job you’ve ever seen. Yep, you’ve guessed it I thought I'd give Trixie a try – nothing ventured as they say. Talk about a parody, I look like the worst Goth chick ever. Its not that I'm a rugby player or anything, quite the opposite, I'm the short arsed skinny dweeb, that aside I looked like a bloke in a dress with make-up and hair by a five year old.
"What the fuck are you doing in my dress!” Janey screamed.
what’s she doing here, sugar, its Wednesday, she does a split shift, "I can explain!”
"This I have got to hear, so lets have it Zak or is it Zoe?”
"Can I get changed first?”
"Oh no, you don’t think I'm falling for that, sit!”
Oh well, it was worth a try.
It didn’t take long to go through my tale, the offer of the Gothfest ticket, the picture on said ticket and my decision to give Trixiebell Heartswoon a try. For siblings we don’t argue much, despite or possibly because we aren’t directly related. By the end of my explanation she was almost in hysterics.
"So Rory didn’t put you up to this?”
"Not exactly.”
"So when is this gathering of darkness Trixie?”
"That weekend you go to London, can I get changed now?”
"Whoa, not so fast princess,” she pushed me back down onto the bed.
"What now?”
"This weekend, its some big thing yeah?”
I nodded.
"And my boyfriend has already paid for the tickets?”
"Months ago,” I agreed.
"Well with planning like that I think he deserves to take his dream girl to Whitby don’t you?”
"You’ll go?”
"Don’t be so soggy bro, his dream girl, Trixiebell Heartswoon!”
"Er how?”
She stood me up and turned me towards the mirror, "Bro, meet Trixie!”
"Yeah like that's working,” I scoffed.
"I never said it would be easy.”
"Just saying I agree, I look nothing like the ticket photo.”
"We’ll just have to make sure you do, you got a copy of this picture?”
"Its on the net, shouldn’t be too difficult to find.”
"Ror, I think I've found you a girlfriend!” I announced loudly, passing him a pint of some obscure ‘artisan’ beer.
"Shush idiot, Amy’s round in the other bar.”
Amy’s my sisters best friend, we all went to school together, it was hardly a surprise she was in the Robin Hood, her parents run it.
"So like I said, I think I've found someone for the ticket.”
"Jane showed me the picture, there’s no way man.”
I was not best bit amused when Janey took the picture but after she explained her plan, whilst still dubious I went along with it.
"Not me you dumbcluck!”
"So come on then, who is this mystery girl? When do I get to meet her?”
"Someone I know at the Hospital,” that's the cover story I’d agreed with Jane, I could at least ad lib some back story that way.
"And?” he pressed.
"She’ll meet you at the station on the Friday but there’s a couple of conditions.”
"Why not before?”
I shrugged, "She’s working shifts.”
"What conditions?” he asked cautiously.
"One, no funny stuff.”
"As if! Jane’d have my balls on a spoke, what else?”
"You pay for everything.”
"Everything?”
"That’s the deal for being your arm candy in front of Joseph and co. you’d be paying for my sister anyway right?”
"I guess so, is that it?”
"That’s it, shall I tell her yes?”
"She’d better look better than you in a dress.”
"Most definitely,” I told him.
"So what are you two talking about?” Janey asked plonking herself on Rory’s knee.
"Er nothing much,” Ro supplied.
"Be a love and get me a drink?”
"So?” she asked once Ror was despatched to the bar.
"Hook, line and sinker, look J are you sure about this?”
"Oh ye of little faith little bro.”
"But?”
"Trust me.”
Last time I did that mum grounded me for a month, I know that won’t happen this time but it doesn’t fill me full of faith.
"These are all that same girl,” I noted handing the prints back to Janey,” where’d you get them?”
"Its amazing what you can find on the internet.”
"So what’re we doing?”
"You are learning how to do your make-up.”
"What for?”
"Well duh, you don’t think girls put it on once and that's it?”
"Course not, you’re always mucking about with it.”
"And you’ll have to put it on yourself while you’re away,” she pointed out.
"I still look like me.”
"Hmm,” Janey offered once again comparing the pictures to my fizz-ogg, "We might have to go to plan B.”
"Plan B?”
"You really want to go to this thing?”
"Er yeah,” I allowed cautiously.
"Okay, so you trust me right?”
"I guess, what are you cooking up?”
"Making you look like Trixiebell whatsername.”
"Heartswoon,” I filled in.
"Yeah, Heartswoon. Look at the pictures, tell me what you see.”
I took the pictures and compared them, they were clearly the same girl although wearing different stuff and make-up in some of them, "I can’t believe that's really her name.”
"Probably a stage name of some sort, so?” she prompted.
"Well she’s quite pretty.”
"I already know that, what else dumbo, how would you describe her to mum?”
"Okay,” I looked again, "Pink hair, she’s drawn her eyebrows on and she’s got some piercings.”
"Anything else?”
I looked again, "Nice rack?”
"Boys!”
"Sorree,” I offered in meek defence.
"Okay, so to make you look like her you need the same.”
"Whoa, hang on sis, don’t you think that's going a bit far?”
"You want Rory to spot its you straight off?”
"Not at all preferably. Mum’ll go apeshit.”
"She won’t have to know.”
"How, even if I do agree to it, is she gonna miss me looking like that?”
"You take a trip.”
"A trip?”
"Yeah, visit some uni mate or something ‘cept you don’t you come to the hotel and stay there, we’ll do your transformation there – you could even still go to work.”
"And exactly how do I pay for a hotel room?”
"Managers perks?”
Damn, this is getting serious, dying my hair, piercings and Janey’s already coughed out for some boobs. Oh well, what the heck.
"Okay.”
"That's my girl! We can get you immersed in being a girl, you’ll be a regular Goth princess.”
With that agreed, the next couple of weeks passed by quietly, Janey accumulated my ‘wardrobe’ and I practised with the make-up and walking in the silly footwear I was supplied with. The weekend before Whitby I packed a bag, told everyone I was going to Bristol for a couple of weeks and found myself installed in a ‘staff’ room at the Ibis, a tiny box room in the attic.
"Right Trix,” my sister started, "There’s bleach in the bag, I'll come back after my shift and we’ll finish the job.”
"Bleach?”
"Dur, you don’t think you get hair that colour over that black, gotta strip the colour first then the real colour we want will take.”
"Er right, that’s what you meant by finish the job?”
"What did you think I meant?”
"Not sure,” I admitted.
"Right then, I'll bring pizza later.”
Well at least I'm getting fed.
I stared at my reflection, my natural hair colour is a mousey brown but I've dyed it goth black since uni but here, staring back at me, my face is surrounded by the palest, almost white curtain of hair – unnerving to say the least. Guess it’ll dye back easy enough. With Janey not expected back for several hours I got comfortable on the bed, slipped my earbuds in and cranked up The Cure.
"Whoa, interesting look bro.”
"Yeah,” I agreed, "Food?”
"On its way, lets get on with this, we can eat while it cures.”
My stomach wanted to complain but I could see the sense in that.
"Okay,” I sighed.
"Lets get in the bathroom then.”
Jane re-wet my hair and was soon massaging the dye through my hair.
"You can get breakfast downstairs in the morning,” she informed me as she used some cling film to wrap my hair.
"That’s gonna be a good look,” I suggested.
"You don’t get room service, you could practice being Trixie.”
She started dabbing something on my forehead.
"What’s that?”
"Just sorting your caterpillars.”
"Eh?”
"Eyebrows, sit there and I'll fetch the food.”
I had agreed to this makeover but I hadn’t expected things to move so quickly, not only is my hair now pink, nothing wishy washy but a vivid shade somewhere between hot pink and fuchsia but my eyebrows are gone, not trimmed or plucked, no removed completely with hair remover – I look like some sort of alien. And so of course the idea of a free breakfast set my stomach rumbling.
They say practice makes perfect and I have been practising the make up stuff for a couple of weeks so I made a fair job of the face painting. Dark red lips, a swoop of eyeliner and ruler straight brows drawn across my forehead – well I certainly don’t look like the Zak Askwith I know. Now dressing Trixie is another matter.
Simple seemed to be best for now, my wardrobe is almost entirely black so that bits easy enough at least. There was a shapeless dress with a white collar, I managed to get the tights on and the breast forms slopped into a plain bra giving me a bit of shape where it counts. The only hiccup was Little Zak, after some experimenting, changing from my boxers to close fitting girl pants and tucking him under, I felt ready to make Trixie’s debut.
"Ms Heartswoon, can I have a word please?” Janey requested as I exited the breakfast room. "Trix!” she emphasised.
"Er hi sis.”
"Not here,” she hissed, "Out the back.”
I followed her through the office and out into the car park.
"Looking good bro.”
"Har de ha.”
"I mean it, you certainly don’t look like my brother any more, well not too much.”
"How do you cope with these bra things?”
"You’ll learn.”
"I don’t actually want to.”
"Friday?” she teased.
"Alright, so what’s today?”
"Are you sure this is necessary?”
"Yes,” Jane told me for at least the third time.
"I don’t have to be Trixie.”
"Rory’s expecting a full on goth, goths have piercings, ergo you need piercings.”
There was some logic to that I guess, "But the whole lot?”
"Stop being a wimp.” here she comes, "Heya Dawn.”
"Hi Jane, Martin said you guys were here, so Trix, not keen on needles then?”
This was the cover story my sister dreamt up, the reason I was getting so much done in one go, I hate needles so as I'm likely to pass out might as well do everything. Well that's the idea.
"So lets get you marked up first.”
"Trix, wake up.”
"Hmm?”
"You’re finished,” Janey advised.
"Onwy er wun?”
"You passed out when Dawn got the needle ready, she’s done the lot.”
"Ot’s wom iv ma ong?”
"Well as you were out she did your tongue too, freebie.”
"Ot!”
"You’ll be able to talk properly in a couple of days.”
I just rolled my eyes.
Dawn came back through, "Oh good you’re awake, right here’s your care package, use the wipes morning and night and turn the jewellery at the same time but don’t play with them right?”
"A.”
"I'll make sure she doesn’t.” Jane replied for me.
"Well enjoy your piercings Trix.” she winked.
"Ank oo.”
I looked in the mirror, if the hair and make up hid Zak before with my new holes I couldn’t recognise me.
"Dawn said that you should be okay with different jewellery at the weekend.”
"Iffwen?” these flippin’ tongue studs, yes there’s two, are bloody annoying.
"You might want to match stuff to your outfits.”
"Er ow ack,” I pointed out.
"Stop playing with them,” Jane ordered.
Easy enough for you to say sister dear, you haven’t got a face full of metal and ears throbbing. I'd certainly had a number done on me, apart from my tongue I now sport a nostril, septum, middle of my upper lip, a pair of snake bites, dimples, tragus and a couple of lobe holes – oh and my navel. Yeah, talk about a pin cushion.
“An I ot is anige?”
“Er,” Janey look rather contrite, “you kinda got a tattoo.”
“Atoo! Ot er uck!”
“We’ll get it removed.”
“Ets ee it?”
I let her unwrap the bandage from my wrist, wincing a little as the pad was removed.
“Oo ot oo ee idding!”
Encircling my left wrist, yep all the way round, is about the girliest tattoo i’ve ever seen, a bit swollen and raw but easy enough to see. What is it? Oh you’ll love this, its a floral affair, tiny pink, purple, yellow and blue flowers with a vine linking the whole thing and running through the whole ‘TRIXIE’ in a floral script. I’m not a big tattoo fan but as they go this isn’t bad except its on me!
“Ot er oo inkin!”
“Well the real Trixie has one like it so, you know, authenticity?”
“An on, er int oor ith ere? Ee ath ite a oo ats.”
“No no, just that, well I think it looks cute.”
“Oo ave it en!”
“Dawn said to let it breath over night but keep it covered for a few days.”
So of course now my eyes a constantly drawn to my wrist, grrrr!
"Lets have a look at your tits.”
"Eye?”
"I want to check the edges are still stuck down.”
Oh I forgot to mention that didn’t I, before we went to see Dawn I had the ignominy of having my sister glue a pair of C cups to my chest. Apparently they should stay put for up to a month – not that I'll need them after next Sunday. In the meantime it looks like I get to experience the delights of bra wearing.
I bared my chest for inspection.
"Looking good Trix,” she allowed inspecting my new appendages.
"Oo ont a to all ee Ix I ere oo ow.”
"I can hardly call you Zak, and you need to get used to your name, don’t want any slip ups with Rory do we?”
"Es ot,” I sighed.
"Oh and I've got you a job for the week, we’re short a chambermaid.”
"Aimber ade? Oo ot oo be iddin!”
"You get paid and I can cover the room better.”
"I arnt oo at ike is.”
"Don’t see why not, I'll find you a uniform, Magda’ll show you the ropes.”
"Ane!” I moaned.
"I'll treat you to dinner at the Pincers,” she proposed.
Damn, she knows all my buttons, you’d think we really are twins.
And so the week was set, I'll be Magda’s laundry slave for six hours each day, changing bed linen, cleaning lavs and hoovering carpets. After two the days my own, which for me means hiding in my room listening to The Smiths. I can’t even pretend I'm still Zak in here, my dear sister confiscated all my lad stuff on Monday, right down to my wallet.
So I'm Trixiebell Heartswoon 24/7, not the real one in the US of course but I've got her hair, Janey tidied my mop up to match the photos on line, I have her most obvious piercings, apparently she has places I don’t have pierced too, so to all intents and purposes it will be Trixie who meets Rory on Friday. I’m not particularly hairy, I struggle to grow more than a bit of bum fluff, but what I did have, well that says it really, there’s hardly a hair left on me that's not pink and on my head.
"Come on,” Jane chivvied.
"Where’re we going?”
The swelling in my face is pretty much gone so at least I can talk almost normally.
"You’ll see.”
"Do I want to?”
"Come on.”
I wasn’t exactly keen to realise we were heading into town, the last thing I need is someone I know recognising me. as if reading my mind my dear sister returned to drag me onwards.
"No one’s going to recognise you Trix, come on.”
I let myself be dragged up towards the church but before we got that far Jane pushed me into a shop. Whilst I've never been in I recognised it as ‘Roots’, one of those places selling joss sticks and crystals.
"What’re we doing in here J?”
"This way,” she insisted.
"I can hardly breath.”
"Give over, I knew we’d missed something then I saw some goth types when I was out with Ror last night.”
The something was a corset and when I come to think of it she’s actually right, no self respecting goth this weekend will be sans corsetry. The example I'm now wearing, whilst constricting isn’t too extreme being more about fashion than body sculpting. After everything else its actually quite a small thing.
"He say anything?” I croaked out.
"Nada, wish I could see his face when you turn up at the station tomorrow.”
"You sure this is a good idea?”
She gave me a look, "You’re not backing out now, oh no.”
"I never said I was.” I offered in my defence.
"You do that and we’re going straight home.”
"To mum?”
That’s unlikely to end well given my current appearance, Mum’s got quite catholic tastes.
"Rory or mum, you’re choice.”
Hardly a choice.
I dragged my borrowed suitcase onto the platform feeling even more ridiculous than I have all week. Jane insisted I wear the corset over the full skirted frock she’d found in Oxfam, my make up is more intricate and my confidence as low as its been all week. I’ve ‘acquired’ various bits of jewellery, some from Janey but mostly from the charity shops so I clink and jangle as well as totter on my heels. Yup, no one’s going to mistake me for anything other than what I appear.
My tongue, itself wearing a pair of barbells, idly played with my cheek piercings, I paused to check my appearance in the glass front of the waiting room. Hair – check, make up – check, jewellery – check, I straightened my jacket and headed along to where the cause of all this was waiting.
"Rory?” I knowingly queried coming up to where my best friend was stood checking his phone.
He did a double take when he looked up and saw me, "I ah yeah.”
"Trixie, Trixiebell Heartswoon,” I offered my hand.
Then it was my turn to be surprised, instead of just shaking my black nailed fingers, he stooped to kiss my hand instead.
“Zak said you were beautiful, but not how much, er Rory Tobin, my er friends call me Ro.”
"You can call me Trix or Trixie.”
The train pulled in and we joined the queue to start our journey.
Well here goes nothing!
© Maddy Bell 26.04.17
I watched the countryside passing the other side of the glass, the glass of a bus window. My ‘boyfriend’ has revealed himself to be a grade one tight wad, first it was the flask on the train up to York then this.
"What?” I almost snapped.
"Er nice view,” Rory suggested.
Well there was no arguing that, the view across the moors is pretty spectacular but having been sat on the bus for an hour and a half already I'm not comfortable. For starters my corset, whilst not tight digs in as soon as I get halfway comfortable and I've been dying for a wee for the last half an hour – both things I could’ve sorted on the train. And then of course I'm wedged between my case and cheapskate – my mood is not good.
"How much longer?”
“’Bout half an hour I think.”
Oh joy. I returned my attention to the view outside, mindlessly playing with my oral piercings.
"Here, grab this!”
I thrust my case at my travelling companion and made a hurried duck walk to the toilets, my bladder just about to burst.
"Ladies are round the other side luv,” an old chap mentioned at the door.
"Er right thanks,” I allowed with a more than slightly forced smile.
I reversed direction and a moment later – joined the queue for the ladies. Seems that many of our fellow travellers had similar issues, no doubt with similar urgency. Wetting my knickers was one thing, using the ladies another.
For why I hear you ask? Well in case you’ve forgotten I'm not exactly what I appear to be, I might look like Trixiebell Heartswoon, pierced, painted goth princess but I'm actually Zak Askwith, male of the species. Why am I stood in a queue for the ladies at Whitby station, think greed, a pushy sister and my lack of ability in the ‘no’ department and whilst I've been acting the part since last weekend this is my first time using public conveniences.
The queue shuffled forward, my need growing exponentially as I tuned out the conversations around me, almost hopping in desperation.
"Go on dear,” a woman wearing the full Victorian setup invited, "You look more desperate than me.”
"Er thank you,” I grimaced taking the cue to queue jump into the just vacated cubicle.
Of course that's just one hurdle when you’re dressed like I am, skirts up, tights down and hindered by the corsetry, I had barely hit the seat before my bladder released its contents. Note to self, avoid drinking too much. I finished up, redressing took longer than I'm used to of course and I soon joined the other users in front of the mirrors washing, rearranging and reapplying. For the umpteenth time today I looked at my reflection and wondered what the hell I'm doing.
"That’s better,” I allowed returning to where Rory was stood with our bags.
"Hey Trix,” he glanced up from his phone, "I've worked out how to get to the digs, its about fifteen minutes walk.”
Walk! In these shoes? Why did I let Janey talk me into this?
I plastered a smile on my face, "Best get on then,” I grabbed the handle of my case and set off.
"Er Trixie,” Rory called out, "Its er this way.”
I stopped, took a deep breath, counted to ten, turned around and headed back towards my mate.
"Lead on Mc Duff,” I invited.
“Zak always says that,” Ro mentioned, "Never heard anyone else say it.”
Sugar, I need to be more careful.
"Guess I've er caught it off him,” I suggested.
"Yeah,” dopey agreed, "So, how do you know Zak? He never said.”
"At the hospital, we er talk when I get my coffee.”
"He said you worked there, what department?”
What department indeed? "Er Haematology?”
"Cool, that's blood and stuff right?”
"And stuff,” I agreed.
We were but two of many in a tide of elaborately dressed Festival attendees, the full spectrum of Emo and Gothness, a strange counterpoint to the ordinary citizens sharing the streets. There were other men in female garb, I saw at least two but unlike me they weren’t even trying to pass, their beards a dead giveaway. I on the other hand, look about as male as Jessica Rabbit, no one’s going to mistake me for a bloke.
"This is it,” Ro announced.
I looked up at the building in front of me, and up, and up. Its not like there’s any choice in the matter, I'm here freeloading and I guess even beds in a B&B come at a premium this weekend. In my head we’d be staying somewhere like Janey’s workplace, a modern chain hotel but reality is never what you expect.
Dragging my case up the steps, I followed my benefactor into our accommodation.
"Sorry about the room,” Rory offered once we’d ascended to our home for the weekend.
It wasn’t a bad room, not big but the window overlooks the port area, it has a tiny en-suite and a double bed. Of course its a double, Ror was hoping to bring his girlfriend, my dear sister not some random girl his friend set him up with, the same friend who’s currently trying to square away sleeping in the same bed as his best mate.
"I'll take the chair I guess,” he offered.
Should I let him do that? I mean he’s coughed out for the tickets, the transport, the room and – damn it, he’s my best mate.
"We can share I guess, first sign of funny business and you’re outside.”
A look of relief crossed his face, "Thanks Trixie, best behaviour I promise, so erm I guess you need to unpack and stuff, I'll er just have a wee and um wait for you downstairs?”
"Where’re we going?”
"There’s a Siouxsie tribute band doing a gig I thought we could do.”
"Er okay,” I agreed, maybe not my favourite but cool enough.
"See you in a bit then.”
"Er yeah,” I mumbled following him to the door and locking it after him before collapsing onto the bed.
Of course, I can hardly go out in the same stuff I travelled in, blokes have it so easy, what am I saying, I am a bloke. Okay a bloke currently sporting tits and dressed like something from Twilight! I had vague ideas of just changing skirts, replace the cotton for maybe the sateen I think Jane called it.
My phone buzzed, a quick glance revealed it to be my sister, "Hello?”
"Trix? Can you talk?”
"Yeah,” I sighed, "Rory’s waiting downstairs, where’re you?”
"Train lav, you at the hotel then?”
"B and B,”
"So how’s it going then? I take it Ro’s not any the wiser?”
"Blatantly ignorant thankfully.”
"So what’re you guys doing now?”
"Going to some gig.”
"You changing?”
"I was just gonna change my skirt.”
"No way Trix, do the body-con and use the iron for some ringlets.”
"Really?”
"He’s bound to smell a rat if you don’t do something. Shit, we’re just coming into St Pancras, speak later, bye Trix.”
"Bye sis.”
Bugger, she’s right of course.
I carefully made my way down to the ground floor where I found Rory playing with his phone again.
"What’re you doing?”
"Just catching up with my Warhammer forum, thought Zak might be on,” he advised before looking up, "Whoa, hot chic-ca!”
"Why thank you, thought I'd make the effort.”
To be honest I feel like a trussed chicken, the ‘body-con’ is knee length and combined with the corset makes it impossible to do stairs or even walking very easily. And then there’s the neckline which exposes a good deal more chest than I possess – just the sort of outfit Trixiebell Heartswoon would wear – I guess for this weekend that’s me.
"So are we going then,” I prompted when he made no indication of moving.
"Er yeah, right, just put my jacket on.”
Rory is of the Victorian mode of Gothishness whilst I'm a disciple of The Cult school of EMO wear, skinny jeans and stuff but Trixie is well Trixie. If you were to try to describe it you’d be hard pushed to pin any label, there’s bits of allsorts but its still clearly on genre. But not just on genre but living it too.
"Bugger!”
"You all right?”
"These paths weren’t made for these shoes,” I opined having caught myself on a shop front.
The streets are now even busier with festival goers, everyone putting on the style for the evenings festivities. Pretty much everyone at least smiled greetings and once again I thought about how weird it was to be part of this, a step into an alternative universe of vampire worship, nineteenth century dress and late twentieth century popular music.
"Here,” Rory grabbed my hand and placed it on his arm.
Well I hadn’t planned on getting up close and personal but my tottering, restricted progress certainly became easier, I'll kill Janey for these shoes when I get home!
The gig was in some sort of meeting hall a street back from the fish market, passes were checked, scanned and confirmed and we joined the noise inside without further ado. We might be here together but together we most certainly are not, once inside I made that clear to anyone watching us.
"You want a drink?” Ro asked.
thoughts of a toilet visit in this getup put me off any idea of a pint alcoholic or otherwise, "Archers?”
"Right,” Rory allowed before heading to the bar.
Zak would’ve been down in the pit giving it his all – its just how he is, how I am, Rory right alongside but Zak’s not here. It might not be exactly my preferred music but I couldn’t help but start jigging around but Trixie dancing couldn’t be the same as Zak. Somehow I found myself doing a very sinuous thing, arms over my head, eyes closed almost rooted to the spot, yeah Trixiebell dancing is certainly different.
"Lets go eat,” a pumped Rory suggested.
The gig was only just over an hour and it seemed much less, I was not as er, sweaty as Zak would’ve been. And having not eaten since sharing Rory’s packed lunch on that damned bus my restricted belly even managed a rumble.
"Er okay,” I agreed eyeing the busy streets, "Where?”
"Hang on,” he pulled out his phone and wandered along the street to talk. It wasn’t a long conversation, "A mate of mine’s got a table at the Dolphin, we can eat with them.”
"Where’s that?” and who’s that?
"Just across the bridge, they’ve got a band on later.”
"Er okay.”
The Dolphin was heaving, as an official venue we had to do the ticket thing again, the door thing – he I think was built like the proverbial brick shithouse, carefully inspected everything and even seemed to check I had the right piercings. Anyhow we were allowed inside, into an atmosphere of beer and bon hommie.
"Ror!”
"Joe.”
Not that idiot? We have met several times, well Zak has at any rate, he’s one of those guys who takes things too far, wearing all the gear at an event is one thing but he wears the top hat and suit all the time, even to the supermarket. I think even Trixie’d dress down for that. Oh and Rory almost worships the bloke, god help my sister if they ever go further than friends with benefits.
We waded through the bodies to where Joseph and a motley bunch of Victogoths were sat around the window table.
"You made it,” Joe pointlessly stated.
"Yeah, just done the Bansheed gig,” Ror advised as they exchanged handshakes.
"This the girlfriend then?”
"Er no, she’s away in the Smoke , this is a, er, friend,” Ror paused, "Trix this is Joe Barnsley, Joe meet Trixiebell Heartswoon.”
"Very pleased to meet you Trixiebell Heartswoon.”
"Er thanks,” I advised inwardly throwing up, "And you, just Trixiebell will do.”
"Well Trixiebell, find a seat, you guys want a drink, Ror?”
"Old Badger.”
"Trixiebell?”
Mindful of the toilet issue I decided to stick to my schnapps and lemonade, "Archers with please.”
our ‘host’ headed for the bar and after a bit of shuffling I was wedged between a chap doing a Sherlock impersonation and a woman in full Victorian.
"Amanda,” she offered as I tried to get comfortable.
"Trixiebell.”
"I heard, bit of a mouthful.”
"Most people,” well my sister and Magda at the Ibis, "Call me Trix.”
"First time Trix?”
"Er yeah, I've wanted to come for ages,” I'm sure I heard her say ‘I bet’, "So when Ror offered me a ticket I jumped at it.”
"Offered a ticket?”
"I mean offered to get me a ticket.”
Joe returned with our drinks, "Here you go Trixiebell, I've added you two onto the food order.”
"Cheers Joe,” Rory mentioned.
Well it wasn’t as bad as I'd expected, the Victogoths were actually a nice enough bunch, I still think Joe is a dickhead lech but he did pay for our food. I felt somewhat out of place though, oh we’re all into Goth but whilst I'm at one end, everyone else at the table is of the more vanilla end of things. What I mean is that other than Joe they’re weekenders, they spend most of the time as normal citizens, I bet they even travelled in mufti only changing once they arrived here.
It was somewhat after the witching hour when things broke up, by which time I was need of Rory’s arm to stay vertical on the walk back to the digs. No I’m not drunk, I'll admit to happy – what do you expect after half a dozen shorts?
"You want the bathroom first?” Rory asked once we gained our room.
"Er no, I er have stuff to sort first.”
No kidding, I hadn’t really got this far in my head, the whole sleeping with the enemy thing. Jane supplied my pyjamas, decidedly unsexy grey with a teddy bear motif, Little Zak‘ll be well hidden at least. Then of course there’s the removal of cosmetics – of there’s ever a time when I'll be found out its tonight or in the morning.
Rory vacated the bathroom and I took his place. By the time I was cleansed, showered and dressed for bed Rory was busy storing the zzz’s, that’s a relief at least. I climbed under the covers, turned off the light and curled up as far from Rory as possible.
I woke up with a start and took a few moments to remember where I was. Cautiously checked to see where my bed mate was, thankfully still sawing at the air across the bed. I remembered the pub last night, I really am pulling this off, no one seems to have an inkling that I'm a Goth princess answering to the name Trixiebell Heartswoon.
It was tempting to stay under the duvet a bit longer but it occurred to me that without make up I'm more likely to be found out, regardless of my facial decorations and hair colour. Damn, I slipped off the bed, grabbed my make up bag and dashed to the bathroom, locking it behind me. I looked at the face in the mirror, two days Zak lad, two more days and this whole shenanigans will be over.
"Morning,” Rory offered having apparently waited out my use of the bathroom to reassemble Trixiebell Heartswoon.
"Morning, I'll see you down at breakfast.”
For Trixiebell, appearing relaxed still involves full make up but at least Jane had agreed that I didn’t have to wear the corset all of the time. For now at least that means I'm wearing that dress Trixie debuted in last week, you remember the one with the white collar. Well anyhow I can at least relax over breakfast.
"Boyfriend hungover lass?”
"Er, yeah a bit,” I allowed.
"Full English? Tea?” our landlady suggested.
"Please.”
"There’s juice and cereal on the dresser.”
"Um thanks.”
A couple of other tables were occupied by, what I'd say were weekenders – they were dressed in mufti but other than an exchange of greetings they ignored my outlandish appearance. I helped myself to juice by which time my tea was arriving.
"There you go lass, its nice to have a girl eat some food, most girls your age don’t eat a thing when they stay, fraid of putting meat on their bones, you’d think the old Count only went for well fed lasses!”
I shrugged, "I've got garlic?”
"Ha, ha, ha,” she chortled, "A sense of humour too, oops, best look at your food.”
Rory arrived at the same time as my breakfast.
"You look different this morning.”
"I do?” what have I missed, has he recognised me? "How?”
"Something, your hair, that's it, your hairs different.”
I sighed with relief, "I've not done it to go out yet.”
"So you sleep all right?”he went on pinching a piece of my toast.
"Er yeah, hands off.”
"Hungry after last night.”
"Well you didn’t exactly hold back with the beer.”
"Good night though eh Trix?”
Well I'll concede that.
"So what’re we doing today?” I countered.
"Gigs start lunchtime, whatever you like this morning.”
"I've never been to the Abbey, wouldn’t mind a look, we get free entry with our festival tickets.”
"Really? Tell you what, you go look for vampires and we’ll meet up later, there’s that gig Ray was on about last night, that German group.”
“Krankewere,” I supplied.
"That’s ‘em, they’re at the Rowing Club half twelve, meet you there?”
I looked at my wrist to check the time and found only my new tattoo, just you wait Janey.
"What time is it now?”
"Er half eight, oo brekkie!”
"You want more toast lass? I can see your man here has been pinching it,” the cook offered.
"No its alright, I'll just have some of his!” I quickly grabbed a slice of his fresh supply.
Half eight, out of here at nine, a good three hours to explore on my own.
I finished my food and headed back upstairs to get ready for the day - Trixie wouldn’t be seen dead dressed like this at Gothfest.
I've wanted to come to this weekend since Uni, I even tried to get a ticket a couple of years back but student finances don’t really allow for hundred quid festival tickets not if you want to eat and have a social life the rest of term. But now, whilst not exactly rich I've got the opportunity to experience the gigs and whole festival experience. I started walking towards the old town, I've learnt my lesson, I’m shod in the combat boots I managed to talk my sister into allowing.
Yesterday, last night really, bolstered my confidence, no one, in a town full of weirdo goths, looks more than twice at another pincushion goth gurl. Add in the pink hair, ornate make up and my goth with a twist of punk clothing, for 99% of the population that can only mean one thing which definitely isn’t Zak Askwith. I strolled along humming from Christ’s Supper’s set last night in the Dolphin, at one with the world.
The Abbey wasn’t open when I got there so I joined other early birds in a variety of mostly Victogoth outfits on enjoying the cliff top views and after a short look around St Mary’s church I made use of my pass to explore the Abbey ruins and the Cholmley mansion next door.
"Trixie.”
I squinted at my phone again, the last three tries at a selfie had come out so bad I binned them straight off.
"Trixie, I thought it was you.”
"Oh hi Amanda, you any good at taking photos?”
"I manage,” she grinned waving something with a lens the size of the Hubble telescope.
"Oh right, you think you could take one on here for me?”
"As long as I can take some with this too?”
"Er sure,” I allowed passing her my phone.
"Smile,” she instructed, "So where’s your boyfriend this morning?”
"Rory?”
"You’ve got more than one?”
"Er no, course not, he’s er, do you know he never said what he was doing, what about Ray?”
"Still sleeping the Dolphin off, thought I'd come and get a few shots before it looks like a vampire theme park up here.”
I giggled, "They do look a bit daft with the capes an’ all.”
We were wandering along now, Amanda taking shots of me, the abbey, the ‘vampires’ as we walked.
"So what’re you doing after this?”
"Hadn’t really thought, I'm meeting Rory for that gig Ray was on about last night but that's not till after twelve.”
"Snap, tell you what, why don’t we have a girly morning, bit of shopping, there’s a nice cafe with fresh cakes?”
its more of a plan than I started with.
"Won’t you get talked about, hanging out with the punk?”
"Let them, they’re only jealous.”
"Jealous? What of?”
"You of course, your hair, your piercings, your whole look.”
"You kidding me?”
"Nope, straight up, we’re all, what’s the term, like ice cream.”
"Vanilla?”
"Yes, vanilla to do anything so drastic, oh there’s a few nose rings, even the odd hair streak but secretly they, we, want to be you, young, not giving a toss as to what everyone else thinks.”
"Wish my mum thought like that,” I mumbled as we paused to let another overweight gent on top hat and cape wheeze past on the 199 steps.
"Take it she doesn’t approve?”
"Lets just say we agree to disagree on the subject,” not a lie, she tuts every-time she sees as much as a lip ring. she’d be apoplectic if she saw me at the moment.
I guess the old town area has developed in answer to demands, the Whitby Duck shop rubbing shoulders with coffee bars and outdoor retailers. The place was by now pretty busy, Victorian dresses not helping in the narrow confines of the shops.
"Did you see that girls nails?” Amanda asked.
"In the shop?”
"The one on the till.”
"Definitely out there,” I noted.
They were certainly that, each one a tiny work of art, my black talons looked well boring by comparison. I reckon similar thoughts were going through Amanda’s head.
"Come on, lets get our nails done,” she enthused.
"I'm not exactly flush,” I admitted.
"My treat, come on, I saw a nail place back by the square.”
oh well, why not, it’ll clean off on Sunday.
"Coffee,” Amanda stated as we returned to the street.
"Er right,” I agreed still entranced by my new finger decorations. My plain lacquered and quite short nails were no longer, instead I really do have talons fully half an inch over my finger tips. Oh they’re black, but a sort of deeper black highlighted by some gold ‘dangles’ and 3D designs under the lacquer. Amanda had a similarly ornate treatment but in a two tone maroon and ivory with tiny pearls.
"These aren’t very practical,” I mentioned following my friend along the street.
"Practical is over rated, here we go,"She led the way into the cake shop where we snagged a just vacated table.
"Ray, look we’re not gonna make it…..Trixie….Horse & Griffin….I'll tell her….love you too.” Amanda closed her phone, one of those old clam shell things, "Didn’t seem that upset, we’ll meet them for lunch afterwards.”
"What was the message?”
"Oh, the usual, don’t spend too much.”
"Ha!” as if.
"Come on then, times a wastin’”
"I'm gonna get a lip ring,” my companion announced as we perused the jewellery at the piercing booth. We’ve been doing the sales tent on the dockside, a lot of the expected Victogoth stuff, certainly nothing that I fancied parting cash for.
"You are? What happened to vanilla?”
"Oh sod that.”
"Welcome to the dark side,” I hammed.
They were running a ‘walk in’ service so barely fifteen minutes later Amanda was sporting her labret piercing, not a ring but a barbel to allow it to heal first. I succumbed to new jewellery for my cheeks, medusa and snake bites, classy black. Well I got them at a discount with the festival pass.
"So what’s it feel like to be a nasty girl?” I asked.
"Nasty!” she gleefully told me. "Now something for Trixiebell.”
"I've got enough holes.”
"I was thinking more on the lines of clothing.”
"Such as?”
"I saw just the thing earlier, come on kiddo.”
The choice of the Horse & Griffin for lunch was soon clear when we needed our passes to get inside, a gig by The Cure, one of my favourite bands and clearly I'm not alone. It was only a short set, thirty minutes after which the place pretty much emptied, the next session isn’t for an hour and there’s stuff to go to elsewhere.
"Enjoying yourself girls?” Ray asked as we waited for our chicken and chips.
"I reckon so,” his SO replied.
"How was Krankwank or whatever they’re called?” I asked.
“Krankewere,” Rory corrected.
"Them.”
"Bit grunge for me, what about you Ray?”
"Not my first choice I have to say.”
"Trix?” Amanda hinted I should follow her.
Followed her into the ladies, I might look like I'm a girl but this bit terrifies me, the communal toilet thing.
"I said he wouldn’t notice,” she huffed between checking her new hole in the mirror.
"Men,” I suggested. "They’ve not noticed these yet either,” I noted waggling my fingers.
"You need a wee?”
"Ut uh.”
"Come on then.”
Once the food turned up we both really hammed things up, licking fingers, waggling hands about, Ray finally noticing Amanda’s digital decorations.
"You had your nails done love?”
"Finally! You like?”
"Not very practical, what’re you going to do at work on Monday?”
"They can like it or lump it.”
"I got mine done too,” I pointed out to Rory.
"I thought they were black before?”
"Men!” Amanda chorused beside me.
"We’ll see you on Middle Earth later,” Amanda called out.
"Yeah, later,” I acknowledged as the four of us split into two couples. Since lunch we’ve visited the Captain Cook Museum, watched three more gigs and done a trip on the steam bus.
"You having a good time?” Rory asked as he waited for me to redo my face.
"Okay,” I turned around, "What do you think?”
"What am I looking at?”
Geez Jane, what do you see in him?
"Dur!” I pointed to my new dimple decorations.
"Oh right, interesting look.”
I rolled my eyes, "Men.”
"Has he noticed yet?” I whispered.
"What do you think?”
"I'll take that as no, so what do you think?”
Earlier, when I was arm twisted into buying the frock I'd been carried by the moment, Amanda’s new found ballsy attitude. Actually leaving the B&B in it was however another thing – oh its nothing risqué but its pretty far away from what I was comfortable with. The top is actually quite fitted with a lot of chest on view, its the skirt that's er, edgy, a flouncy affair, full at the back and almost knicker exposing at the front. I've got a net top under it, fishnets on my legs and those stupid heels on my feet.
"I just knew it was you when I saw it, and the new studs look ace.”
"I feel like everyone's looking at me.”
"Don’t knock it girlfriend, if you’ve got it flaunt it.”
"I thought Rory’s eyes were going to pop out.”
"He on a promise?”
"Promise?”
"You know, later back at the b&b?”
Oh that sort of promise, yeah a promise that if he tries anything I'll have his nadgers on a string.
"Have to see how the night goes.”
There was more music, more alcohol, more food and a bit of jigging, every-time I got up I gained an audience and a few ribald comments. By the time we started the walk back to beds I'd pretty much forgotten what I was wearing, that I'm not Rory’s girlfriend, that Trixie is just a temporary aberration. Indeed it was me and not my sisters boyfriend who started to get a bit frisky outside of our accommodation.
© Maddy Bell 28.04.17 (amended 10.05.17)
"Urgh,” I cracked a window to the outside world, good its not spinning, maybe a little wobbly but Dr Wobbly’s not so bad, not compared to Mr Spin.
What the heck happened last night? Lots of booze, that's for sure. Number two, where am I? Not my curtains, seagulls? I freed a hand to push some of the hair out of my face, my fingers hit something round which dragged on my cheek, what the? Then it all came crashing back, Trixie, Gothfest and Rory! The heat on my back, he didn’t, we didn’t did we?
Cautiously I used the hand under the covers to check on the er position under the duvet. I found clothing that seems to be on me, phew, not naked at least. More details started to seep into my consciousness, snoggin’ Rory outside, silliness inside, more lip stuff in the room, shit.
An urgency in my bladder prompted an exit from the covers and retreat into the little room. A look in the mirror revealed a less than pretty sight, last nights make up, well the remains of it smeared across my face, a pink rats nest of hair and a bruise? Closer inspection revealed it as less of a bruise and more of a love bite, just below my ear and another on my shoulder, Jane’s gonna kill us both.
I peeked out into the main room, the subject of my er, affections was sprawled across the whole bed, giving a rather good impression of sawing logs. What to do? Right, clean up, shower, repaint the face and get dressed, coffee would be good. Its a plan I guess and any plan is better than no plan, right?
"Someone had a good night eh lass,” our landlady offered with a wink.
"Erm yeah, any chance of coffee this morning?”
"Aye lass, full breakfast?”
"Could I just get egg on toast please?”
"Fried or scrambled?”
"Scrambled I think.”
“’Appen you won’t be only one wi’ a sore head this mornin,” she chuckled before leaving me to the juice and cereal.
"How can you look that good after last night?” Rory asked as he seated himself at the breakfast table.
I dug in my bag and plonked a packet of Ibuprofen, (a surprisingly useful addition to the handbag Jane insisted I should carry everywhere unlike the tampons, I mean what use are they to me?) on the table.
"Er thanks Trix, good night mind.”
"It had its moments,” I allowed, is he going to say anything, does he even remember?
"Um Trix?” he leant forward.
"Ah, surfaced have we,” our over jovial hostess interrupted, "Full English?”
"Without mushrooms?”
"Full English, no mushrooms, drink?”
"Erm tea please.”
"You know where the juice is.”
"So?” I hinted, "You were gonna ask something.”
"Was I? What was it, oh yeah, you okay going back to Chessy on your own? I'll pay, I mean that was the deal right?”
Well talk about a put down.
"So how are you getting back?”
"I'm going down to Hull with Joe and Becca, gig tonight then I'll get early train back to Chessy in the morning.
"Er right, I guess so,” dumped for a tit head in a top hat.
"Thanks Mrs Simmonite, I'll pick it up about four.”
"Okay lass, have a good day.”
"I'll try.”
Well, with the ‘dumping’ over breakfast we decided to go our own ways from the off, Rory keen to meet up with Joe whilst I actually wanted to do a couple of the Sunday programme gigs. So whilst Rory set off with his bag – presumably to go in the usurpers car, I arranged with our landlady to collect mine closer to departure time. I clomped down to the road, the first gigs aren’t till lunch of course so I decided on a walk around to the beach.
I'd just cleared the bridge when my phone started trilling, I dug it from my bag, caller I.d. suggested it was my sister.
"Janey,” I sighed.
"You sound pissed Trix,” she observed.
"Your boyfriend dumped me.”
"He what?”
I found a bench by the quayside to continue the conversation.
"He gave you money to get back?”
"Forty quid.”
"Is that enough?”
"He reckons it was only like thirty each coming up.”
"You got extra if you need it?” my sister queried, surprisingly concerned.
"I'll manage, got a few quid left on my card.”
"Look if you get stuck call me right.”
"You never used to be bothered,” I mentioned.
"I never had a sister who looks about sixteen before either. Seriously Trix, ring me okay, we’ll be back home about seven thirty anyhow.”
Sixteen? How can I look sixteen.
"Erm, about that, I can’t go home like this, I was gonna blag a bed off Rory but...”
"Bugger, I forgot about bringing Zak back,” she admitted, "Look call when you get to Sheffield and I'll meet you at Chessy station, you’ll have to stay at work again.”
"Okay, thanks sis.”
"Take care Trix, see you later.”
"Yeah, you too.”
It was still only half ten when I finished looking at the submerged beach (the tide was in) so I got a coffee on a cafe near the pier before climbing the Khyber Pass to the famous whale ribs on the hill top.
"You’ll have to take it from the other side,” a now familiar voice opined.
I looked past my phone to see Ray and Amanda a few feet away.
"Morning, just doing the tourist bit again.”
"Gis it here,” Ray suggested, "Might get you in the shot.”
"Thanks,” I allowed passing my phone over to him.
Compared to my attempts at selfy taking Ray was a whizz, on just a couple of minutes I had a veritable portfolio of shots of me and a couple with Amanda and even one with all three of us.
"On you’re own again then?” Amanda queried.
"Abandoned actually,” I advised.
"Abandoned?”
"It happens,” I shrugged.
"What happened? Things looked hunky dory last night.”
"I think I might’ve scared him off? Anyhow he’s going off with Joe and his missus later so I'm single Sally again.”
"Sounds like Joe’s influence,” Ray suggested.
"What do you mean, I know they’re friends, well and you guys.”
"Lets just say that Joe and Bec’s have er, opinions.”
"What Ray means is that they don’t like certain parts of the ‘Goth’ community, vis anyone not in their own ‘sect’ of Gothness.”
"Like me?” I suggested.
"Yeah,” she agreed.
"But he’s been quite nice to me.”
"Because you were with Rory, his favoured disciple.”
"What about you guys?”
"Oh we’ve known him for years, we’re not inner circle though, we just meet here, we might see them at a few other events, but not regular like the others,” Ray advised.
"So what’re you gonna do now Trix? You okay getting home to where is it? Sheffield?”
"Chesterfield, he’s given me the fare but I thought I'd make as much use of the pass as I can first, there’s a gig at the fleece and one at the Duke of York I want to catch.”
"Bram and the Stokers?”
"Yeah, they sound like fun.”
"Mind if we tag along?”
"Thought you’d never ask!”
"Amanda?”
"Trix.”
We were in the ladies at The Fleece.
"Do I look sixteen?”
"Honest?”
"Honest.”
"I’d’ve said eighteen. Guess that was Rory?”
"No my sister, well half sister sort of, its complicated, anyhow she said I look sixteen.”
"I'm guessing you’re not eighteen either?”
"Twenty three,” I admitted.
"Well for what its worth, lose the piercings, let your brows grow back and you’d easily pass for sixteen.”
"Joy,” I sighed.
"Most girls would be pleased.”
"I guess, I did wonder why I was getting carded all the time.”
Its a right pisser when I want to buy some booze. Then it hit me, I don't actually have any I.d. - all my actual I.d. is for Zac Askwith, the real me and that's in my sisters care back in Chessy. All I have now is a bankcard for Z Askwith and the Gothfest ticket in the name of Trixiebell Heartswoon, I probably can’t even buy a drink.
"That was fun!” I laughed as we exited The Duke just turned three thirty.
Bram and the Stokers turned out to be very entertaining, a mix of short skits and comedic songs performed by three lads and a girl.
"What time’s your bus,” Ray asked as we continued through the afternoon crowds on Church Street.
"Four thirty?”
"You should be in plenty of time,” Amanda noted, "Cuppa?”
"Go on then,” I agreed, "This ones on me.”
We left The Monks Haven almost spot on four.
"Well I guess this is goodbye.”
"You’ve got my number,” Amanda confirmed.
"Uh huh, thanks again.”
"I've enjoyed it, you’ve got me looked at stuff differently.”
"That's something I do, different.”
"Come here,” I was enveloped in a hug, "Now you take care Trixiebell Heartswoon.”
"I will, well I'd best collect my case or I'll miss the bus., bye guys.”
"Bye girl,” Ray told me.
"Bye Trix,” Amanda added.
I'll admit to a few tears as I walked back to Ma Simmonite’s for my case.
"Here for the X40 luv?”
"Uh huh,” I agreed checking the time table.
"Been a smash at Saltergate, up ont moors, roads closed, bus is diverting by Scarborough, be about extra half hour before it gets here.”
"Really?” I guess I won’t make the connection in York then.
"Aye lass, ‘appens ‘bout once a month,” my fount of knowledge advised.
"Thanks.”
All the seats were taken so I parked my case at the end of the shelter and hopped myself onto the wall to wait – at least its not raining. An impromptu performance by a band outside the station, a sort of lively brass ensemble had me entranced, they were clearly quite accomplished and there were several girls going round with collecting tins. Not my usual choice of music but I waggled my feet in time to the tunes barely noticing the time passing, half past, quarter to.
Beep, beep!
"Trix!”
I identified the source, a newish saloon with Amanda at the window.
"I thought your bus was at half past?”
I hopped off the wall and walked over.
"It’s supposed to be, apparently there's been an accident and everything’s diverting via Scarborough.”
"Bugger,” Ray allowed from inside the car.
"We’ll just have to go straight down the sixty four,” Amanda told him.
"Well have a good journey,” I told them before turning to resume my wall wait.
"Trix, do you want a lift?”
I turned back, "I'm okay.”
"Don’t be so daft Trixie, come on get in,” Ray ordered getting out himself.
"I can’t, you live miles away.”
"We can easily go that way,” Amanda told me.
"Okay then but only as far as York, I can get my train from there.”
"Get in then.”
Ray fetched my bags and put them in the boot while I struggled with the logistics of seatbelt, boobs and skirts.
I don’t get to travel by car much, neither me nor Jane has wheels, Mum’s got an ageing Micra that she uses to go to Gran’s and fetch the shopping. Who knew that new cars are so quiet and spacious? As we were already in Whitby it wasn’t much effort to get turned around and head down the coast road, we were largely ahead of the Gothfest traffic so made good time.
Amanda kept up a continuous stream of conversation, a conversation that was largely one sided as she recited tales of her workplace, Nottingham University and other ‘Goth’ gatherings they’d attended. Sometimes Ray would get a word in but more often than not he just nodded along. We caught more traffic after Scarborough and more again at Malton, apparently the normal Sunday homeward bound coast traffic.
I guess we’d been going about an hour and a half, maybe a bit more when I was vaguely aware of us joining a multi laned road.
"I guess we must be near York,” I suggested.
"About ten miles back,” Ray supplied.
"But my train.”
"We’re taking you to Chesterfield Trix, no arguing okay,” Amanda told me.
I guess I don’t have much choice in the matter.
"Any chance of stopping for a wee?”
Janey’s phone rang for a moment before switching to voice mail. We were heading towards Sheffield before I realised I needed to call my sister.
"Er hi Jane its um Trixie, I've got a lift back to Chessy, can you pick me up at the usual place by the hotel? Should be there just after eight. See you later. byeee”
I hate voicemail but for once I was grateful for it as it avoided any awkward conversation on Rays car with my saviours listening.
"You can drop me at the Ibis my sister’s meeting me there.” I advised.
"If you’re sure we can take you all the way home,” Ray told me again.
"You’ve already come out of your way, no the Ibis is fine.”
"I meant what I said Trix,” Amanda added, "If you fancy going we can take you to Canterbury.”
"Thanks, I'll think about it.”
I recognised the end of the bypass and directed Ray to the Ibis where he swung into the car park.
"Here we go then.”
"Thanks again, here, towards the petrol,” I offered Rory’s forty quid to my chauffeurs.
"Don’t be daft girl,” Ray told me.
"But you’ve brought me all this way,” I protested.
“Keep it Trixie, we were coming nearly past the door anyhow, I'm sure there are more important things you can use it for,” she curled my hand back over the notes. "Now just you take care and listen to your sister!”
It felt awkward and wrong, wrong as I've been brought up to pay my own way and awkward having my offer rejected.
"Er I will, thanks.”
"And don’t be shy of calling right?”
"I won’t, thanks for this and you know, up at the festival.”
"Its been fun,” she countered with a waggle of her decorated talons.
"Yeah.”
"Here you go Trix,” I sensed Ray had been waiting for a break in our goodbyes.
"Thanks.”
I waited with my case for them to depart, I waved when Ray tooted and then they were gone leaving me alone in the Ibis car park.
Amanda watched the girl in her door mirror as they waited to join the traffic, "You think she has somewhere Ray?”
"Dunno love, is there even a sister, it was convenient that the phone apparently went straight to voice.”
"Oh I think there’s a sister, she’s mentioned her a few times over the weekend.”
"Wishful thinking?”
"Could be,” Amanda allowed.
"Look luv, you can’t mother hen every waif and stray, short of inviting her to ours you’ve done everything she’d let you.”
"I still can’t believe Rory dumping her like that, just wait until I see him next!”
"You want to get Chinese?” Ray asked, that usually calmed her down.
Now what? I pulled the handle out and dragged my luggage out of the roadway. The encroaching dark and a cool breeze had me give a shiver, where’s Janey?
"Trix? That you?” the dark figure enquired from the direction of the hotel entrance.
"Heya sis,” I shivered.
She trotted over to where I was perched on the case, where I'd been for three quarters of an hour.
"Geez Zak, your freezing, why didn’t you come in?”
"Trixie,” I noted.
"Okay, Trixie, so why are you sat out here, didn’t you get my text?”
"Text?”
"Whatever, come on inside, mum’ll kill me if I let you get pneumonia.”
"If I turn up like this she’ll kill me anyway,” I noted as we headed towards the welcoming lights of reception.
Of course I know, as Zak, the girl on reception, Chelsey Hall – somehow last week I missed meeting her – too busy hiding in the attic. We waited until she finished her phone call before Janey prodded me forward.
"Chelse, this is our new chambermaid, Trixie.”
Chelsey is nice enough but I find her a bit easy to judge – she eyed me up and down critically, "Well Magda’ll be happy.”
Hang on, I thought that was just for last week?
"Trix, this is Chelsey our night manager.”
"Er hi,” I almost whispered.
"Welcome to the wonderful world of hospitality Trix,” she smiled offering a hand which I limply shook, "Like the tat.”
"Er thanks.”
"I'm putting her in 501 okay? I'll get her sorted with uniforms and stuff then I'll push off.”
"Sure Jane.”
"Trix?, come on up.”
"Chambermaid again?” I squeaked once we were in the tiny room I spent last week occupying.
"Well it makes you staying here legit and helps us out too.”
"But I won’t be Trixie after tomorrow,” I pointed out.
"We can say you changed your mind about the job.”
"Whatever, I can really do with a shower.”
"Okay, I'll sort you out some uniforms, you eaten?”
"Not since lunch.”
"I'll see what I can find.”
By the time I was showered Janey was back with the familiar uniforms and a couple of pre packed sandwiches.
"Sorry its not much.”
"Better than nothing,” I shrugged, "How was London?”
"Noisy and expensive, what’s that on your neck?”
I futilely tried looking, "Where?”
"Just below your ear, its a love bite!”
"Oh er that.”
"Was that Rory?” she demanded.
Was it? I think so but my memories of last night are a bit blurry.
"Possibly,” I allowed, "We got a bit pissed last night.”
"The bastard!”
"I think maybe I led him on a bit?” I winced in expectation of an onslaught.
"So he makes out with a floozy then dumps her hundreds of miles from home, he better have a good excuse,” she spat.
"I'm not a floozy,” I whispered.
"I need to go home, mum’ll wonder where I've got to, I'll see you tomorrow – cute pj’s.”
"They are yours,” I mentioned.
"I do have good taste don’t I, oh it might be an idea to tone down the make up a bit for work.”
"Ah, so you are back Trixiebell.”
"Er yes Magda,” I allowed.
"Is good, we make a good team eh?”
"I guess.”
"Come, we have to start the deep cleans today.”
And so my new career as live in housemaid at the Ibis restarted.
"You haven’t made things any easier have you?”
"I thought they’d just come off with that remover stuff.”
We were sat in Maccy D’s on the retail park, Rory’s treat did he but know it. Well a girls got to eat, Magda’s a right slave driver. For the last half an hour I've been relating the events of the weekend to my sister, not the gigs particularly but the rest.
"Ut uh, no chance.”
"We could cut them short?”
"Possibly but they’d still be glued on, nope your stuck with them until they’ve at least grown out a bit.” she let go of my hand and returned to her fries.
"Shit, how long?”
"How long’s a piece of string, couple of weeks maybe?”
"So I'm stuck with these talons for a fortnight?”
"At least.”
"I can’t hide them from mum for that long,” I sighed looking at the miniature artworks on my fingers.
"You can keep the room at the hotel while your working there.”
"As Trixie.”
"Well she’s the one with the job.”
"But we can lose the rest of this stuff right?” I flapped a lock of pink hair at her.
"Might as well keep it until we can get rid of the nails.”
"For why?”
"Well for one you still need to be Trix, and people might recognise you as Zak.”
"People?”
"Chelse, people round town,” she suggested.”
"I can stay in the room.”
"Oh get real, you need to eat and stuff, nope Trixie has to stay until Zac can come back.”
shit.
"Can I at least get rid of this?” I offered my tattooed wrist.
"I'll ring Dawn and find out, it is pretty cute Trix.”
"Not on me it isn’t.”
"Maybe we can tone the make up down a bit?” she suggested.
"You reckon?”
"Oh come on Trix, you must admit its been a bit of a laugh.”
"Why couldn’t Rory have just used a picture of you or at least just some random normal girl.”
"You know what he’s like, at least I know what his fantasy woman is.”
"And that's good? That your boyfriend secretly lusts after a Goth porn star?”
"Hey, its good to know the enemy.”
"I really don’t know what you see in him.”
"Lets see,” she started counting on her fingers, "He showers regularly, has a good job, I know his mother, the only other woman he’s slept with is my brother.”
"Shush!”
"Seriously, there’s a lot worse out there and I'm sure I can live with wearing a bit of black and heavy make up once in a while.”
I guess my sister won’t be discouraged from Rory and Trixiebell Heartswoon looks to be having an extended life.
I sighed, Tuesday already, I paused to take in my reflection in the mirror I was cleaning, still surprised each time I don’t see Zak there. My phone trilled from my uniforms pocket, not sure why I’m carrying it around, its not like anyone's gonna ring me. Except it was now trilling determinedly.
"Hello?”
"Trixie that you?”
"Amanda, hang on, let me get somewhere a bit quieter.”
I stepped into a vacant room, the sound of Magda’s hoovering dulled further when I pushed the door closed.
"Better, you still there?”
"I'm here, just thought I'd see how you were after everything at the weekend.”
"Look thanks again for the lift back.”
"Our pleasure, it was barely out of our way. So how is Trixiebell Heartswoon, is that really your name?”
“’Fraid so,” well for now at least. "My sister got me a chambermaid job at her hotel.”
"That’s good yeah?”
"I get a room and uniforms,” I advised her.
Amanda chuckled down the phone, "Now that I'd love to see, the Goth chambermaid!”
"Its not funny!”
"Sorry, I wasn’t making fun of you, I just had this image of you in that dress we got you for Saturday night mincing around with a feather duster.”
I had to agree, that would be quite funny.
"So anyone notice your labret?”
"Ray? You gotta be kidding of course. The girls at work think its ‘boss’ which I'm guessing is okay?”
"Trixie!” Magda called from the corridor.
"Look I've got to go, the boss is after me, thanks for calling.”
"Like I said, just checking you were okay.”
"Trixie! Ah there you are girl,” Magda stated wading into the room.
"Best go Amanda, bye.”
"Bye Trixie.”
"Boyfriend eh,” Magda stated, "Always they are the trouble. Just some advice, we paid to do linen not chat on phone, leave phone in room eh?”
"Er sorry, I'll turn ot off.”
"Good idea, the manager, she not like the dilly dally, you good girl I see that, you work hard get out of this place, find nice boy, have children. So come, we have more rooms to clean eh?”
"Yes Magda,” I meekly allowed.
I switched off my phone and slipped it back into my pocket and followed her back out to the corridor to continue my polishing.
"Trix!” my sister beckoned me over to the office.
I parked the hoover and joined her, "What’s up Miss Askwith?”
Yeah I know but its company policy and none of the staff know we’re family – I'd like to keep it that way thank you!
She checked to see we were alone before continuing, "I spoke to Dawn.”
"At the tattoo place?”
"Yeah,” she agreed.
"So?”
She hesitated a bit, "Well there’s a clinic in Sheffield does it but...”
"But what?” I interrupted.
"Well the ink has to settle first, it has to fully heal and the laser treatment is pretty expensive.”
"How long, how much?”
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I wasn’t going to like the answers.
"A month,” she paused.
"A month,” I repeated, "Well I guess I can keep it covered, so how much?”
"Maybe a thousand pounds?”
"How much?”
"Well apparently they have to do several sessions.”
"Where am I going to get that sort of money?” I sagged inside, "Any more bad news?”
"I can help a bit, I mean its partly my fault you’ve got it and you’ve got a proper job now.”
"All your fault, and I liked working at the coffee bar, all those nurses you know?”
"Sorry bro.”
"Trixie,” I corrected her, I can’t stay angry at her, never could, we’ve got too much in common, "I guess she’ll have to be around a bit longer.”
Janey pulled me into an embrace, "We’ll sort things out, I promise.”
"What’re we gonna do about mum?”
"Mum?….yes I'm fine….I'm gonna stay down here a bit longer….dunno...I've already rung them...yeah I can probably get some bar work….I will….give my love to Janey...love you, bye.”
I took a deep breath and once again looked around my temporary abode, will my life ever get back to normal.
© Maddy Bell 29.04.17
I tried drawing something less dramatic on my forehead, every attempt ended up with one nice brow and the other more like a drunken Ostrich had drawn it. The straight line I can do pretty well so it looks like I'm stuck with it until my brows grow back. There was more success with the eyeliner but I actually like my, signature Janey calls it, look – so much for toning things down.
"Can’t we lose the hair?”
"Why?” Janey queried.
"Its pink?”
"Your point?”
"It’s, it’s, oh what’s the point!”
"Look Trix, once we can get rid of the nails we’ll get Zak back in one go, hair the lot but you’ll look too much like you with black hair, think of it as part of Trixiebell.”
"Don’t have much choice really do I?”
"Its only a couple of weeks, look I have to go, mums expecting me for dinner.
Rub it in sis.
The days quickly fell onto a routine, breakfast with Magda in the hotel’s kitchen then a morning of bed stripping and making then after a ‘lunch’ break our attentions moved to the public areas, hoovering and polishing everything in sight. After work is done for the day, I've been going for lunch with my sister then pretty much kicking my heels the rest of the day, there is only so much daytime TV I can put up with. Thursday night I vowed it would be different on Friday.
"Not seen you round here before,” the voice belonged to the body which dropped into into the seat opposite, "No ones sitting here are they?”
well duh?
"Er no,”
"So where’re you from then?”
What is it with this girl?
"Calow.”
I continued pushing chips around my plate, I'd been promising myself sausage and chips in the Wimpy all morning but now I had them – well I really didn’t fancy them.
"Know some up there, you know Kelly, shaved sides, nose ring?”
"Ut uh,” I guess I might’ve seen her but that's different to knowing.
"You eating them?”
Am I? "Help yourself,” I offered pushing the plate towards her.
"Cheers, Jose by the way, its Josephine really but every calls me Jose.”
"Um Trixiebell.”
"Cor they lumbered you good an’ proper, pass us the ketchup.”
I took the chance to actually look at my uninvited ‘guest’, a scrawny thing of the wear it black, short and ripped, bad dye job end of EMO street goth that’s many peoples experience of the whole genre. Compared to ‘Jose’, I'm haut couture in my ‘Wednesday’ dress, perfect make-up and symmetrical piercings.
"So you rich then?”
"Rich?”
"Don’t see many of your sort round here, there’s some come down from up Walton way sometimes, so you go Tapton then? Bet you get some stick wiv all them pierces an’ stuff.”
"Used to,” I allowed, its not like there was much choice.
"You dropped out then? Me Dad’d kick me out if I dint go,” she advised twisting her hair with one hand while shovelling my chips into her maw with the other.
"They hurt?”
"Sorry?”
"Them fings in your cheeks, Trace was gonna do mine but Stace’s went manky, took ages to fix.”
Do they hurt? I guess not, at first of course but I've pretty much forgotten about them, I suppose I could take them out.
"Mine’ve been okay.”
"There was this girl at Clay Cross, her tongue went mank, they had to cut it off.”
"I need to get home.”
She angrily turned on me "Don’t like the cumpney Trixiebell?”
"No its not that, I've got stuff to do.”
That seemed to mollify her a bit.
"Er see you about?”
"Yeah, fanks for the chips.”
I tried not to hurry too much then only got as far as the church yard before taking refuge on one of the benches under the trees. I drew my feet up and pulled my knees into my fake bosom, I don’t want this, even the damned schoolkid wannabes are picking on me. The first of several tears rolled down my face.
Oh I know its partly my own fault, my greed in wanting Rory’s ‘spare’ Gothfest ticket causing me to agree to stuff I should’ve vetoed. But the tattoo was down to Jane and really thought the nails would come off easily not need power tools to remove. A breeze up the fundament reminded me of the other thing, I didn’t expect to be wearing dresses longer than the weekend.
"There you are,” Janey sighed catching me before I walked into reception, "You forget your phone?”
I retrieved my telecommunications device from my bag, "Shit, its out of charge. What’d you want?”
"We’re going out tomorrow.”
"Out? Where? I've got to work anyhow remember.”
"Only while twelve.”
"Okay till twelve, where are you going?”
"We are going to Derby.”
"And just why would I want to go to Derby?”
"You doing anything else?”
"No,” I allowed.
"So we are going shopping then who knows,” she offered ending with a shrug.
"You want me to go shopping with you?”
"Why not? you’re my sister.”
"Temporarily, have you forgotten what I look like?”
"Dur! Course not, you are my pocket Goth Princess.”
"If I come, what am I supposed to wear, I've got like a choice of two dresses, this or one that’s X rated?”
"Hmm, I'll have a think, so I'll come down in the morning then.”
"Go on then,” I sighed.
"Cool, I need to get off, hot date tonight.”
"Rory?”
"Might be,” she allowed.
"Perhaps I should come too, remind him of the girl he dumped over a hundred miles from home.”
"Oh he’ll pay for that Trix, don’t you worry.”
"Hmm.”
"How do you fancy being a bridesmaid?”
"You what!”
"Just kidding sis, you’ll be maid of honour!” she chortled.
"Jay,” I moaned, "Tell me your not serious?”
"Course not, had you going though.”
Dunno about going, petrified more like.
And so, against my better judgement I found myself once again at the railway station albeit without the case and with my sister rather than her boyfriend.
"You sure this is a good idea?”
"Don’t see why not.”
"Those boots look daft with that skirt.”
Janey looked down at her footwear, "I thought they’d give me a slightly edgy look. And since when have you been a fashion expert?”
"Even Zak has eyes,” I supplied conscious that we could be overheard.
"And what pray would Zak suggest I wore?”
I shrugged, "Not those, you look like a house wife trying to be hip and happening and just look daft instead.”
Not that I'm one to talk, rockin’ the whole Goth thing, girl Goth that is, the only break from the black scheme the hair on my head.
The southbound train slid into the platform and we hustled our way to a couple of seats for the twenty minute journey to our destination.
"We should try you in something more normal Trix,” Jane suggested as we alighted from the city hopper bus.
"More normal?”
"Something less black?”
"What’s wrong with black and I do not need more girl stuff, we can get rid of these,” I waggled my nails, "Next week and then its adiós Trixiebell, hello Zak.”
"If you say so, what’ll you do about work?”
"I can probably get the coffee bar job back, it’s less than a month, I doubt they’ll have got anyone else. What?”
"You could continue at the hotel?”
"I can see that working, one day I'm Trixie, the next I'm Zak even Chelsey would work that one out.”
"Trixie could stay,” my sister proposed.
"Jane,” I groaned, "I don’t want to be Trixiebell Heartswoon.”
"Guess we could change your name?”
"Janey!”
"You should so get that sis,” Janey enthused some time later.
I've been dragged into pretty much every shop in Derby over the last couple of hours, we might be the same age, essentially twins as we share the same birthday, the one that’s ten days away but I've been doing the ‘hard pressed’ younger sibling bit. After much cajoling and to shut my sisters bleating up I finally agreed to try on a dress in H&M.
"I said I'd try it not buy it.”
"Oh come on Trix, you have to admit it looks cute.”
I looked in the mirror, "Okay, its cute, satisfied?”
I'll admit its a nice looking frock, a fit and flare soft jersey affair, knee length in cream with tiny pink roses adding a splash of colour.
"Sick look girlfriend!” a passing sales assistant supplied.
"See,” Jane pressed, "I've been trying to tell her,” she mentioned to the jeans and t-shirt clad girl.
"Its all the black, kills the colour receptors,” she replied in all seriousness.
Now I've got a complete stranger having a go at Trixie’s wardrobe choices.
"Hang on,” Jane had one of those light-bulb expressions.
Two minutes later we’d swapped footwear, I've got the dockers and my sister the Mary Jane’s I set out in.
"Satisfied?”
"Tell her she has to have it?” Jane appealed to ‘our’ sales advisor.
"You girl, are so rockin’ it like,” she enthused.
I'll not get any peace and it’s only fifteen quid, okay fifteen quid I don’t want to spend.
"Everyone’s looking at me,” I complained as we walked back through the Eagle Centre.
"Get used to it sis,” Janey chuckled, "You’re really quite pretty when we can get you out of all that black.”
Apparently its the new dress which has changed peoples perception, earlier all I was getting was sneers and dirty looks. Yeah my ‘drab’ top and skirt are now in a carrier bag after I was pretty much forced to wear the new frock out of the store.
"I don’t want to be pretty, or looked at,” I grumbled.
"Well I quite like having a pretty sister.”
I stuck my doubly pierced tongue out at her.
“Very adult sis.”
"So what’re we doing now?”
"Janey!” an all too familiar face called out from Patisserie Valerie.
"Shit.” I allowed.
"Just follow my lead Trix,” Jane instructed before returning the greeting, "Mum!”
I tried to hang back as Janey led the way to where our mother was sat at one of the outside tables of the tea shop.
"I thought you weren’t coming,” Mum opined.
"We’re only five minutes late, we got held up in H&M,” Jane advised.
This is just mortifying and I've been set up good and proper.
"Well introduce us then Jane,” Mum suggested.
"Er sorry, Trix, this is my Mum, Carol, Mum this is Trixie, the girl I told you about.”
"Er hi,” I allowed quietly.
"Nice to meet you Trixie, no need to be shy, come sit down, I've already ordered.”
Every breath I expected mum to recognise me, my sibling was no help, smirking at me as she told mum about our shopping trip. Tea and cakes arrived and I used my cup to hide behind as they talked.
"Janey tells me you’ve just started work at the hotel,” mum addressed to me.
"Er yes, this week,” I almost whispered.
"How are you liking it?”
"Its okay I guess.” God I hope she doesn’t recognise my voice.
"My son and his friends are into all the Gothic stuff, do you know him at all, Zachary Askwith?”
"Mum,” Jane chastened, "She’s not from Chessy.”
"Oh you said luv. Sorry Trixie, he’s away at the moment, Janey thinks her brothers got a girlfriend, probably some beer swilling slapper with more holes in her than is natural.”
"Mum,” Jane hissed.
"Oh sorry Trixie, I didn’t mean you.”
"Its okay mu-Mrs Askwith, its a bit Marmite, my mum hates piercing and tattoos too.”
"You have tattoos?”
"Just one.”
"It’s really pretty mum," Janey put in, "Show her Trix.”
I put down my cup and presented my wrist for inspection.
"Well its not my thing but it is very nice dear, oh I do like your nails, Janey’s terrible with hers, always chewing at them.”
"Mu-um,” my sister complained.
I spotted a chance for some revenge, "I used to before I got these, can’t chew them.”
"Maybe you should have yours done Janey?”
"Work?”
"Work expects you to look neat and tidy, your chewed fingers are not very professional are they.”
"No mum,” Janey sighed.
In truth my sister has always chewed her nails, she does paint them but the urge to nibble is deep seated so they often look battered and bitten to the quick.
"So you two got more shopping to do?” Mum enquired.
"Not really,” Jane supplied.
"Well I just want to get some knickers in M&S, you want to go back to the car, its on B4?” Mum suggested passing my sister her car keys.”
"Okay, see you in a bit.”
"You set me up,” I accused my sister as we waited for the lift to the car park.
"It was Mum,”
"What do you mean, she knows? You told her?”
"Course I didn’t tell her.”
"So how come she just happens to be at the Patisserie and expecting us.”
"Er well she knew we were coming down, she um rang when you were in the changing room earlier.”
We got into the empty lift.
"And you sort of forgot to mention that?”
"Well she wanted to meet you and we get a lift home.”
"So she knows her son is currently a pierced and tattooed girl?”
"I haven’t told her bro.”
"How could she not know? I was sat right there.”
By now we were at mums old Nissan Micra.
"I hate to break this to you Trix, I'm your sister and I when I look at you all I see is a pink haired teenage girl, hell, you don’t even sound like Zak. Lets face it, you were never exactly Conan to start and now...” she trailed off.
"My own mother doesn’t recognise me,” I sighed before clambering into the car. "And what do you mean teenage girl? I'm the same age as you, we’re both twenty four next week.”
"Mum thinks you, that’s Trixie you is eighteen.”
"And where’d she get that idea?”
"I did sort of hint that when I told her about you starting at the hotel, throw her off the trail a bit.”
"What did you do that for?”
"Duh, we do talk remember, I just said we had a new chambermaid, she asked about you.”
"Which is why she wasn’t too surprised how I look?”
"In one Einstein.”
"What are you girls talking about?” Mum asked as she opened the car door.
"This and that, Trix is getting her clit pierced.”
"Her what?”
"You know Mum, down...”
"Oh my, what is the world coming to!”
I don’t work Sunday so I took the opportunity for a lie in, not as long as I'd like as Mum seems to have taken a shine to Trixie so we’re going to The Elm Tree Inn at Heath for Sunday lunch. Usually such an excursion would include Rory as my sisters SO but thankfully he’s currently persona non gratis, well that's what Jane said yesterday anyhow. A suspicious mind might link the new dress to a pre arranged turn of events.
"Have a nice time Trixie,” Kamil, the Polish lad who mans reception weekend days, offered when a toot outside signalled the arrival of the rest of my family.
"I'll try Kamil, see you later.”
I readjusted my spiderweb cardigan and tried not to clomp out to the car.
Jane gave me a weird look, you changed something Trix?”
"My er metalwork,” I agreed.
I've been wearing the black stuff in my holes all week, to be honest I haven’t really thought about just changing it – removing full stop yeah but not just altering my ‘look’. A return to the original jewellery took a few minutes but its much less ‘in your face’ so to speak.
Mum gave me a quick glance, "Much prettier, why pretty girls want to punch holes in themselves I do not know.”
The meal at The Elm was weirdness itself, Mum and Janey jabbering away like usual in a series of conversations that Zak would’ve been active in but as Trixiebell Heartswoon I didn’t have context. I nearly outed myself a couple of times so I ended up sipping my Swedish cider and just observing the other patrons in the garden and listening to mum and sis chatting.
"Okay Trix?”
"I guess,” I allowed as I touched up my lipstick alongside my sister in the ladies.
"You okay for this afternoon? we’re going to Gran’s so we’ll drop you off on the way.”
"Give her my love.”
"Yeah, will do,” she looked in the mirror at me, "You remember that time when we were like nine.”
"When you insisted we were both princesses and dad caught us parading around in mums lacy nightdresses and heels, nope, don’t remember it at all.”
She play slapped my shoulder, "You! Good call on the cardi by the way, wish I'd thought to bring one.”
"Must be the girl germs I've caught,” I joked.
Sunday afternoon – pre Trixie this was Warhammer™ time, me and Rory, the other regulars at Games Workshop in the back room. Yeah a regular macho fest, occasionally a new girlfriend would come, sit in a corner for a couple of hours then disappear never to be seen again. We were game jockeys to the nth degree, we got through to the regionals a couple of years ago but competing isn’t really our thing, its the playing.
Today however I'm sat on my bed in my borrowed PJ’s watching Countryfile and munching on a bag of McCoys from the vending machine in reception. Oh I considered Kamil’s offer of going for a drink when he came off shift but I'm not in a drinking mood. I even considered going to the gaming session but that’d be just too weird and too likely to end in being outed – you can’t fool nerds for long.
No, for this week I can put up with Sunday night TV, next week Zak‘ll be back!
I peered into the mirror, nada, not one single hair, you’d’ve thought that after almost three weeks there’d be something on my brows. But no, the nearest thing to eyebrows I've got on my face are the two lines I drew this morning. Each day I've looked, each day of my third week of being Trixie the chambermaid I’ve been disappointed.
"I thought you said they’d grow back?” I accused my sister.
"Gemma Smith’s grew back in a couple of weeks,” Jane stated.
"I can’t be me with these on my face.”
"We get some of those brow stencils, "Don’t be such a worrier sis.”
"That’s easy for you to say.”
"Well come on, we’re supposed to be at the nail place in like fifteen minutes.”
Nails – yeah, get rid of the talons and Zac is back – no more daily face painting, I can lose the pink hair, the skirts.
"Sorry luv, if I managed to get them off your real nails will be wrecked, these are pretty much welded to your real nails.”
"So they’ve got to grow more?” I queried trying not to get girly weepy.
"At least half the nail length luv, or we’ll damage the nail bed.”
"Isn’t there anything you can do?”
"I can re-lacquer them,” she offered.
"I'm buggered.”
"Hey, come on sis,” Janey pulled me closer as we both sat on my bed.
My sister gained a new set of practical nails at the nail bar and instead of losing mine they’ve just changed from black to a dark red that matches my signature lipstick colour.
"It could be months before these things grow out,” I pretty much wailed.
"Its not all bad,” Janey started, "You’ve got a job and somewhere to stay.2
"I had that before,” I pointed out.
"Well I've always wanted a sister.”
"Not sure I quite qualify.”
she shrugged, "Works for me, you’re certainly a duck.”
"Cheers!” I huffed.
"You know what I mean, you look like a girl, you sound like a girl, you even act like one, ergo you must be one.”
"That really makes me feel better,” I noted with just a hint of sarcasm.
"Come on Trix, its not that bad, girls have fun too you know.”
"Its all right for you, you don’t have pink hair and more piercings than – well a lot.”
"You sure you don’t want me to bring your computer down, I can borrow the car in the morning.”
It was tempting, I've been using the public terminal in reception to keep up with my email and stuff but some of the sites I visit are not things you look at in public. But moving my computer here, well that's a bit too permanent.”
"That’s Zak’s, and anyhow Mum’d get suspicious if my stuff started disappearing.”
"Well just say if you change you’re mind.”
I laid on the bed literally contemplating my navel, well more precisely the barbell currently decorating the piercing. Well that and the constant weight on my chest, its not that I'd forgotten about ‘my’ appendages just that I've become used to their presence. When we started all this it was a lark, a bit of fun, fooling Rory, getting to Gothfest, it would all be over in a few days but now…
Then I found myself checking out the main reason for Trixie’s continued presence, my nails, the now blood red scratchers mocking me whilst making my hands look even more feminine than than pre Whitby. it was tempting to blame Amanda for my predicament, the extensions were her idea after all but that wouldn’t be just, I was a willing accomplice albeit a naive one. No, the more I think about it the more its clear that whilst Janey perhaps overstepped the mark with the piercings and tattoo this whole mess is my fault.
Man up Trix, geez I'm even thinking of myself as Trixie now. I found my phone and hit the speed dial for my sister.
"Someone sounds happy today,” Chelsey mentioned as I pushed the hoover around reception, "I thought you lot were always miserable.”
"Its a nice day,” I allowed with a shrug.
"Smiling suits you Trix, you should do more of it.”
I shrugged, "Maybe I will.”
In truth it was less happiness and more acceptance, acceptance that Trixiebell Heartswoon will need to be about for a bit longer, moping about it really will make me a depressed EMO.
"Ooo,” I allowed as Jane carefully pulled the second silicon enhancement from my chest.
"Wish I could take mine off sometimes.”
"You don’t mean that.”
"Says someone who’s had tits for like three weeks, its not all fun you know.”
"Never said it was but it feels good to not have them dragging at my chest even if its only for a few hours.”
This afternoons instant mastectomy is the result of my internet session after my navel gazing last night. I decided to embrace the situation, let Trixie have more life than an outing to the Wimpy bar. I’m not sure how my searches got there but a site selling prosthetics popped up and I noticed some care instructions – essentially suggesting removal ever few weeks for cleaning and to let the skin ‘recover’.
Janey’s working this weekend so no sisterly shopping trips or family dinners this week, instead the revitalised Trixie needed to attend to some maintenance. Apart from the breast forms there was personal laundry to do and on Sunday a solo shopping trip – well my limited lingerie has been taking a bashing and whilst the wages aren’t great my expenditure isn’t either. And so I set off to shop for some essentials.
Oh I know I've been dragged around the shops by mum and Janey from time to time, even just last week but its a different matter when you’re on your own. Tights of course are easy to buy, even Zak could manage that but pants and er titty holders, well you need sizes for a start and then there’s colours and styles – I had to use the ladies to check labels in what I was wearing. I intended to just go for basic stuff but of course I was quickly seduced by the acres of undies available.
The rest of my wardrobe is a bit limited too so without any sort of plan I wandered the stores for a couple more hours adding to my haul. It might be a bit of a cliché but I found myself sat in the Wimpy again, this time I cleared my grill and treated myself to a banana longboat. I smiled to myself, I could get used to this, it was interesting squeezing the banana between my tongue studs, fun even.
"If it aint Trixiebell,” Jose stated catching me unawares as I juggled bags outside the Wimpy.
"Er hi Jose.”
"This that Calow girl I was telling you about Kell,” rent a gob went on.
Her companion was, I'm guessing, the Kelly she mentioned last time we crossed paths. She looked a timid thing, behind the heavy make-up she’s probably quite pretty, she didn’t look particularly comfortable as she held onto Josie's arm. There’s something going on there, not sure what but clearly Jose is the boss of things.
"Told you she had them cheek fings.”
"Er hi Kell,” I offered.
For her part Kelly just gave a pert little nod.
"Aint seen you about.” Jose pressed.
"Been working.”
"You got a job?”
"Yeah,” I allowed.
"Bit of a sell out Trix.”
“Food costs money,” I shrugged.
Kelly tugged at her friends arm.
"Gotta go posh!” and they took off at a run.
"You want to go eat when I finish?” Jane asked when I got back ‘home’.
"Erm could do, its not with mum is it?”
"She’s gone to Aunt Mary’s, just the two of us.”
"Okay, Pincer’s?”
"Was thinking Leonie’s.”
I gave a shrug, “fine, see you in a bit.”
"Trix?” Janey queried.
"You ready?”
"I'll just get my bag.”
To be honest I felt a bit exposed, that’s not right, underdressed id more accurate I suppose. For three weeks I've been in various layers of skirts and tops or otherwise in pretty demure dresses, even that frock in Whitby wasn’t really too risqué but here I am stood in pretty basic jeans and T feeling a bit uncomfortable. Well I guess they are girls straight leg jeans, the T-shirt is actually a girly cotton cropped affair revealing my midriff and a pair of moccasin style shoes complete the outfit.
Its not just my clothing that’s changed, I finally managed to draw a pair of more natural looking if still thin brows and instead of the cupids bow lips, a lighter shade and shape has really changed my appearance. The unruly pinkness has found its way into a sort of bun affair and a pair of tiny gold hoops and childish flower studs adorn my ears. I even found some ‘body’ jewellery in that Claire’s place so my other facial decorations are wearing tiny sparkles, pretty but less in your face if you’ll excuse the pun. And my exposed navel has a new matching dangly.
"So what brought this on?” Janey asked once we were seated, she’d been looking at me strangely all the way across to the retail park.
"What?”
"You know damn well what Trixie, this, this almost anti Goth look, not that I don’t approve.”
"Dark and moody isn’t very practical for changing bed linen, thought I should get more appropriate stuff.”
"Those jeans don’t look much of an improvement,” my sister opined.
"They are a bit, er tight in places, I bought some cheapo leggings and T shirts for work, these are for going out.”
"I think we’ve given birth to a monster,” she chuckled, "You really are an Askwith woman!”
"Necessity,” I offered, "If I'm gonna be stuck like this for a bit I might as well make the most of it.”
My tattooed wrist caught my eye, looks like I'll have my girly decorations for some time yet, I spent nearly two hundred pounds today! But I can’t remain a Gothic nun, I need to have some sort of life until Zac can reappear – whenever that is.
© Maddy Bell 02.05.17
“A weekend off?” Janey parroted.
“Yeah,” I defensively replied.
“What for? I mean yeah we can sort that but why?” my sister pressed.
“Remember I told you about Amanda and Ray?”
“They the ones that brought you back from Whitby?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, “Well Amanda rang again yesterday, I think she’s keeping tabs on me, anyway they’ve invited me to go to Canterbury with them.”
“Canterbury? that’s like Essex or something right?”
Geography never was my sisters strong point, “Kent.”
“Whatever for?”
“The half marathon, why do you think?” I posed, I do love her but she can be a bit slow sometimes.
“Another Goth thing I guess?” she suggested.
“Gothic Tales,” I agreed, “Supposed to be like Whitby on steroids.”
“Rory’s not said anything.”
“Well it is like nearly three hundred miles away.”
“Never stopped him before, he dragged me to Exeter last year remember.”
Yeah, that was quite funny, Janey isn’t exactly into the whole Goth / Steampunk thing and to see her attempts at dressing the part was a hoot. Well I thought so, looked more like Stevie Nicks in Doc Martens than Goth, I don’t think her boyfriend even noticed. Okay, the me that's Zak isn’t exactly hardcore either but it’s easier for a bloke to at least look the part.
“So when is this shindig?”
“Next week?”
“So, our young waif is coming then?” Ray asked his wife slunk back down beside him.
Amanda made herself comfortable again, “Looks like it.”
“I’d best let Jace know, we picking her up?”
“Said she’d get herself to the bus station.”
“It would’ve been as easy to go there.”
“I know luv but she was quite adamant.”
“You sure she’s as old as she told you?”
“Twenty-three? I’d be surprised if she is, more like eighteen if you ask me.”
“She looks younger,” Ray opined.
Amanda shrugged, “Yeah, have to set Jas on her, she’ll soon winkle out the truth.”
“Now you’re being evil!” Ray chuckled, starting to tickle his other half.
“Don’t be so daft,” Janey stated.
“I’ll be fine.”
“Tell you what, I’ll borrow the car and take you over, I’m on lates Friday.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What are sisters for? I’m not letting my little sister catch the bus to a strange town to hang about a bus station waiting for a lift.”
I let the ‘little sister’ bit go, “You sent me to Whitby.”
“With my boyfriend,” she pointed out.
To be honest it will be easier – and cheaper, I might not be destitute but housemaids’ wages aren’t exactly giving me a Rockefeller lifestyle. Not that I’m really complaining, I’ve got work, live in and it’s not the hardest job in the world. Don’t get me wrong, by the time you’ve done twenty rooms, you’ve had enough but it’s not like there’s a strict time table, as long as the rooms are done by check in time.
“So what are you taking to wear? We need to redo your hair, you got enough knickers?”
When my sister, as you might recall, gets into a project, she really goes for it.
I set off from ‘home’ armed with a list of stuff Janey insisted I need for the weekend, it’s not cheap being Trixie! Instead of the more casual look I’ve adopted for work today its full on Trixiebell, my ‘Wednesday’ outfit, well I’m going up to Sheffield. Why Sheffield? Well there’s more shops than Chessy so I should be able to get everything on the list and if I get the X17 its only about half an hour to get there.
The other thing of course is that its more anonymous, I know I don’t look very Zak at the moment but there’s always that fear that I’ll bump into someone I know around Chessy. Okay, so my own mother hasn’t recognised me but I don’t want to push my luck, I mean what do I say, ‘oh hi, yeah it’s me, thought I’d try out a new look, yeah maybe it’s a bit extreme, the piercings? Well if it’s worth doing, do it well.’ Yeah, a conversation I really don’t want.
It’s not a long walk to the bus station, well its hardly a station, just a couple of bits of road where the buses stop and a sort of drive through for the coaches and express routes. Anyhow I found the right stop, confusingly it’s the same stop for both directions, and stood to await the northbound bus. It wasn’t a long wait, well after the Matlock bound bus departed, and soon enough I was on my way to the ‘big city’ over t’hill.
Chessy, home to the Askwith clan, is something of an enigma, a small market town once surrounded by mines and industry but now struggling to replace the lost jobs. Each day the commuters head out of town to work in Sheffield, Derby or even Nottingham, if you want a decent job you’re not gonna find it in Chesterfield. We trundled through the northern suburbs before picking up the main road up the hill to Yorkshire – yeah here its reality not just a childhood incentive – not that it ever made sense to me anyway.
Of course, Sheffield is a city, not one but two Universities, three football clubs and a very ‘cosmopolitan’ population partly as a result of all that. Unlike Chessy it’s not unusual to see the more edgy bits of society and even dressed as I am with bright pink hair and a face like a pepper pot I hardly got a second look as I walked up the main shopping drag. I pulled my list out of my handbag, well its actually Jane’s, my sister has even annotated it with which shops to go to, right, first stop M&S.
“You get everything?” Janey enquired when I got back to the hotel.
“Everything on the list,” I confirmed dropping my purchases onto the counter.
“And more besides by the look,” she suggested with a raised brow.
“Erm.”
“Well let’s see then Trix.”
“Okay, okay,” I agreed.
Well let’s face it, what woman can resist cute shoes and then you need something to wear them with. Okay, I’m not actually a woman but I am temporarily and you have to keep up appearances, right? And regardless of what most women think, men do have an eye for fashion, it might not coincide with their partners ideas but let’s face it, loads of women have no fashion sense either.
“Shoes,” I pulled the colourful box out then a couple of bags, “Frock and handbag,” I concluded.
My sister opened the shoe box, “Ooo, very nice.”
I heaved my case downstairs, pretty much all my Trixiebell possessions are inside – not that there’s a lot really, apart from what I’m wearing, three pairs of shoes, one skirt, three dresses, a couple of tops and a bunch of lingerie, Jane’s leant me her travel vanity for the copious make up supplies and accessories. I had debated dressing up to travel down but Janey suggested it’d be more practical to wear what she called a ‘Zoe Askwith’ outfit, the jeans, cropped T and moccasins. Define comfortable, tight jeans and Zak junior are not the greatest combination, the control pants I’ve got on are tight with a capital T!
“Have a good weekend Trix,” Chelsey offered.
“I’ll try.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,” she advised.
Well that's a bit of an open book if my recent conversations ‘girl on girl’ with her are anything to go by!
“Looks like my ride, see you Monday.”
Making my way outside I almost did an about turn, it wasn’t just Jane in the car but my mother.
Janey jumped out and came over before I could make my escape, “Come on Trix.”
“What’s she doing here?”
“Decided she wanted to see Gran, what could I say?”
“She’ll recognise me!”
“She’ll recognise Trixie, come on, you got everything?”
“Think so.”
with a deep sigh I plonked the vanity in my sisters’ arms and trundled over to the car.
“Hello Trixie.”
“Hi Mrs Askwith, er thanks for taking me.”
“No problem love, we’re going to see Jane’s Gran afterwards,” she told me with a wink – what’s that about?
The change in plan did mean we didn’t have to drive right into Nottingham but rather to Bulwell where Amanda and Ray actually live. It’s not really that far, not even twenty-five miles if, like us you use the M1. Amanda had given me directions off the motorway which despite sounding complicated actual were very simple and we pulled up at the given address barely forty minutes after leaving Chesterfield.
“You found us then,” Ray offered in greeting as I extricated myself from the car. He’d clearly seen us arrive and was at the pavement by the time Janey had us parked.
“Straight here, the directions were spot on, er this is Janey and her mum.”
“Nice to meet you both.”
“And you.” Janey replied, look after our girl eh?”
“We will.”
I made surreptitious signals to my sister to cut the chat, not that she took any notice.
“Call when you get there Trix.”
“I will,” I sighed.
“Excellent, let’s get your bags sorted eh Trixie,” Ray suggested.
I waved after my family as they disappeared down the road.
“Go on in Trixie, I’ll put these straight in the car.”
“Er okay.”
I don’t know about you but I always find it a bit weird going into someone else’s house for the first time. You never know quite what to expect, will they be manic house proud, have loads of cats or some other quirk. Whatever I had imagined, maybe some pseudo Victorian Goth cave, was squished as I stepped inside the neat terrace, it was disappointingly ordinary.
“Hello?”
“Come on through Trixie,” invited from what I guessed was the living room.
“Er hi Amanda.”
This wasn’t the Amanda of Whitby in voluminous dresses and carefully coiffured hair – not that she was untidy but rather she was just dressed in ordinary stuff, not mumsy or anything just sort of daily practical.
She pulled me into a friendly embrace, “You look well.”
“Er thanks, you too, I wasn’t sure what to wear.”
“Better to be comfortable for travelling eh, don’t think I could pull that top off, few too many curries, you want a cuppa before we go? kettle’s already on.”
“Um, sure.”
“Sit yourself down then, no need to stand on ceremony.”
“So, who was the older woman?” Amanda asked her hubby when he joined her in the kitchen.
“She said it was Janey’s mother.”
“I thought Janey was her sister?” Amanda mused.
Ray shrugged, “Well that's what she said, maybe they have the same dad, different mothers?”
“That must be it,” Amanda allowed, Trixie though seemed to favour the older woman more than her sister.
“You okay back there?” Ray asked.
“Er yes thanks,” well some bits of my anatomy were feeling the effects of their confinement but generally my reply was truthful.
“Don’t know about you Trix but I need the little girls room,” Amanda shared.
“We’ll stop in a bit,” our driver told us, “Wouldn’t mind a cuppa myself.”
Talk of toilets and drinks of course quickly had me squirming in my seat, how does that work?
Since becoming Trixie, is it only a month ago, well so far I’ve managed to miss the delights of the ladies’ facilities. Oh, I’ve used them, of course I have, but rarely and only in the pubs at Whitby or a couple of times out shopping, each time the facilities being pretty much private. Motorway services on the other hand are somewhat less intimate and even I know that using the ladies generally involves queuing, it was with a little trepidation that I followed my friend into the building.
I gave the gents a longing look, no queuing there, why are there never enough facilities for the women? Thankfully the queue wasn’t too long, just as well, I was almost squirming by now, when my turn came I almost ran into the cubicle. A skirt would’ve been quicker of course but I had jeans and knickers around my ankles in double quick time – okay TMI as they say.
“You all right?” Amanda asked when I eventually exited the ladies.
It took time to get everything er put away, redress, wash up, check my restrained make up was okay – it’s no wonder there’s always a queue, blokes are in and out.
“Er yeah, I er really needed to go.”
“At least you weren’t fighting with a corset,” she chuckled, “Come on, Ray’ll have our tea by now.”
We arrived at Jason and Jasmine’s place just before four, a rambling semi set in a less than well maintained garden not actually in Canterbury but a bit outside in some place called Tyler Hill. Since our lunch stop I’ve been regaled by stories of previous trips to some of these Goth / Steam Punk affairs, after Whitby I know that there’s a lot of ‘socialising’ which can get a bit raucous. What I wasn’t prepared for was my hosts who have adopted the whole pseudo Victogoth thing big style, both fully dressed and clearly comfortable with it.
I took my time getting out of the car as my elders greeted each other with some enthusiasm, yep awkward.
“Where is she then?” Jasmine queried after the greet fest.
“Come on Trixie,” Amanda encouraged.
“We don’t bite,” Jason advised as I nervously stepped away from the car.
Nervous yes, not in regards to meeting them but rather that they’d see through Trixiebell to Zak underneath. Yes, I know I’ve convinced everyone from my best mate to my mother that I’m a girl but can my luck hold out?
“Er hi.”
“Well aren’t you just the cutest little thing!” Jasmine exclaimed.
“Isn’t she,” Amanda agreed.
I could feel the heat rising in my face.
“Give over you two, you’re embarrassing the girl,” Jason opined, “Come on in, kettles on.”
If the outside of the house had an air of casual neglect inside it was like something straight from one of those Victorian melodramas on telly, heavy drapes, ornate decorative pieces and even an Aspidistra, these guys really do live the life. I was somehow a little disappointed when our hostess led us into the state of the art kitchen, all marble and hidden appliances – I guess there’s only so much history that you can live with. After the proprieties of tea drinking were dealt with Jasmine (call me Jas) stood and addressed us.
“I’ve put you pair in the front room Manda, Trix, you’ll be in Em’s room.”
“Thanks, we’d best get a move on if we’re meeting the others for dinner,” Amanda pointed out.
“I’ll give you a hand with the bags Ray,” Jason suggested.
“Come on Trix, I’ll give you the tuppenny tour of Ashlea Villa,” Jas instructed taking my hand.
“I’m not taking someone’s bed am I?” I asked as I followed her up the stairs.
“Em? No, she’s away at university, up your way in fact, Sheffield, so are you going to go to university?”
I’ve already been, done that, got the t shirt, Amanda doesn’t believe I’m more than eighteen, Janey keeps calling me her ‘little sis’, we share the same birthday for heaven’s sake.
“Er, maybe.” what’s one more lie.
“Manda says you work at a hotel?”
“Er just temporary, nothing glamorous, just a housemaid, my sister’s one of the managers.”
“Good on you, don’t do yourself down, it’s an important job, where would they be without clean sheets?”
“One star on Trip Advisor?” I quipped.
“Exactly, you could get some qualifications and go into management like your sister.”
It couldn’t be any less useful than a BSc in Applied Mathematics.
“I guess.”
Jas’s teenage daughter clearly wasn’t into her parents’ fixation with the 19th century, her room, my abode for the weekend, was tidy, walls bearing homage to a variety of boy bands, the décor a mixture of Ikea and Blue Peter. Clearly there had been a recent tidy up, a can of polish still stood on the dressing table.
“I’ve emptied the top two drawers for you, there’s some hangers in the wardrobe if you need them – oh if you need more towels they’re in the cupboard under the sink.”
“Er thanks Jas, sorry to be an imposition.”
“Don’t be daft girl, it’s nice to have a youngster about.”
“Here you go Trix,” Ray mentioned from the doorway.
“Er thanks.”
“Right then, I’ll leave you to settle in, you know where I am if you need anything.”
Jasmine closed the door behind her leaving Zak Askwith aka Trixiebell Heartswoon alone in her daughter’s bedroom. I sank onto the bed, hmm not bad. What the heck was I thinking coming down here, this whole Trixie thing is a temporary aberration, another couple of weeks and I can lose the nails, the pink hair, the whole shebang and Zak’ll be back.
I lay back and blindly stared at the ceiling, this really is such a bad idea, I like Amanda and Ray, I really should’ve come clean after I was abandoned in North Yorkshire. It’s not like there aren’t other blokes rocking the whole corsets and dresses at the festivals – not sure they do it away from the events though. Somewhere down the line, well I’ve stepped over a line, here I am hundreds of miles from home dressed like a sixteen-year-old girl in a stranger’s house, what the heck am I doing?
My thoughts were broken by a knock on the door.
“Hello?”
“You alright Trix?” Amanda queried poking her head around the door.
I sat up, “Er yeah, just getting my head sorted.”
“You having a shower before we go out?”
“Guess I ought to.”
“Get yours first then, I need to iron Rays shirts, anything you want doing?”
“Thanks, don’t think so, I won’t be long.”
“You ready Trixie luv? we’re ready to go,” Jas queried from the bottom of the stairs.
I looked once more at the stairs and groaned in frustration, “Er sort of.”
“Sort of? You need a hand with something?”
only if you have a cure for stupidity, “Er, I might just give tonight a miss.”
“Don’t be so daft girl,” she told me starting up the stairs.
I stood frozen on the top step.
“Oh my! Jason, help here!”
“Sorry.”
“Oh don’t be daft, I’ve done it myself, Jase!”
“What’s up Jas?” her hubby enquired coming up behind her.
“Damsel in distress lover.”
I should’ve thought it through but when I tried it all on back in my room at the hotel I didn’t actually go anywhere. The problem is that I can’t do my shoes up with the corset on so they have to go on first and the dress is quite restrictive around the legs. See the issue? Yup I’ve got pretty much no way of negotiating the stairs except on my bum.
“Right,” Jason grinned, “Hold tight Trix.”
“Aiee!”
He scooped me up and over his shoulder before clumping down to ground level where I was returned to my feet.
“There we go girl.”
“Um thanks.”
“Here you go luv,” Josephine handed me my bag that I’d dropped on the way down, “One of the perks of being married to a fireman eh?”
“I’ll bear that in mind.”
“If you guys are ready?” Ray prompted from the door.
Josephine helped me negotiate the front steps and I tottered over to the waiting taxi, one of those van size things.
“Well give her a hand,” Amanda suggested to her hubby, “Can see we’ll have to keep you on a tight leash this evening Ms Heartswoon.”
Maybe I have gone a bit overboard, not just cinching the corset tighter than I had it at Whitby, but I’ve had extra time practising putting on the makeup and doing my hair, I swapped out the girly face jewellery for the sharper black pieces – yeah, Trixiebell Heartswoon is looking hot!
This weekend’s events are organised somewhat differently to up at Whitby, instead of the hugely expensive all in ticket you register for an I.D. card then you pay a cover at the venues. It at least seems more affordable, guess it depends how many gigs you do over the weekend. Anyhow tonight we’re starting off meeting more of my friends er friends to eat before hitting downtown Canterbury for some music.
The Old Coach & Horses is a little bit out of the centre, a typical gastro pub menu and whilst the main restaurant is upstairs our party had taken over the outside terrace.
“You okay Trixie?” Amanda asked as we negotiated our way to some vacant seats.
“Apart from getting carried away with the corset? I’ll survive.”
“What’re you drinking Trix luv?” Jasmine enquired.
I could’ve murdered a pint to be honest but dressed like this, not a good idea.
“Archers and please.”
“Ice?”
“Please,” well it extends the drink a bit.
The people here are friendly enough, if there is an equivalent of Joe Barnsley and his clique these aren’t it. And an eclectic group they are too, mostly Victogoths with a tendency to Steam Punk, although I’m not alone in representing the more contemporary Goth movement. Introductions were made but to be honest there were too many to remember straight off.
Food arrived, alcohol flowed and somehow it was after nine and time to move on, taxis were ordered and we made our way outside to await our chariots. Of course, there are only a limited number of genre bands so quite a few of those from Whitby are here in Kent, Bansheed, Christ’s Supper and even Bram and the Stokers are making an appearance. Tonight though we’re all heading to see Caractacus Potts, an act at the softer Steam Punk end of the spectrum and apparently with a strong following this side of the Thames.
It was something like one thirty when we got back to Tyler Hill, tired, maybe a little tipsy but thoroughly entertained. Caractacus Potts, whilst the headline act were just part of a raft of acts on the bill, we were treated to quite a variety of stuff, some stand up, a burlesque ‘presentation’, even a magic act besides the music. Maybe a saner individual wouldn’t have been so tightly corseted, hobbled and be-stilted, it certainly kept me from getting too enthusiastic on the dance floor, on the other hand a saner person wouldn’t be dressed like Goth wet dream in the first place.
I was introduced to more members of the Home Counties ‘scene’, mostly weekenders of course – you can tell easily, they generally have more ornate outfits and less metalwork than life-stylers. Until a few weeks ago I would’ve included me in that bracket, it was my greed and stupidity that has turned me into a full-time clan member, with the twist of a sex change! Trixie was accepted without question by all and sundry, my limited finances were not troubled by the bar staff and there was no shortage of would be dance partners – well for me mostly a bit of a shuffle.
I’m not sure quite how I reached my, Em’s room, I think it was another fireman’s lift but however I got there that was about all I managed. After a short fight I got the dress off and somehow with a degree of contortion removed the shoes too. The corset however was another matter, in my tired state I couldn’t even find the knot let alone undo it, I collapsed onto the bed too exhausted from the long day to care anymore.
Not sure what woke me, the vague wafts of cooking bacon or the sound of bodies trying to be quiet beyond the door. I went to sit up and barely got from the horizontal before my corseted torso brought me up short. I’ve spent the night in the corset? I must’ve been well out of it.
Of course it wasn’t just the corset, I was still encased in the rest of my underwear including the Nylons Janey supplied me with. I managed to get myself vertical by sliding around and using the bedside table for leverage, of course I now had an urgent need. Oh well, I slipped from the room and took refuge in the lav across the landing, after a moments panic over the lack of sensation and presence of Little Zak, I sighed with relief as my bladder emptied.
I barely made it back into the bedroom before there was a knock on the door.
“Trix, you up?”
“Just about Amanda.”
“You want breakfast? Jason’s doing full English.”
“Er okay,” I managed to grunt as I tried to find the end of the corset laces.
“Are you okay in there?”
“Um, not really,” I admitted.
The door opened and Amanda came in.
“Oh my, you slept like that?”
“I couldn’t undo it, can you see the knot?”
“Let’s have a look then girl,” she suggested, “Ah, here you go.”
I felt her tug at the laces a little then there was sudden relief as the tension was released.
“Aahhh,” I allowed.
“The knot was right under the eyelet, you okay now?”
“Think so, thanks Amanda, I was starting to panic a bit.”
“I’ll leave you to sort yourself, you want tea or coffee?”
“There any juice?”
“Sure Jas will have something, see you in a few minutes then.”
“Thanks.”
It was only after she’d gone that I remembered just how I’m attired, or rather not. My forms aren’t an issue, Janey did a pretty good job with them, I can’t see the join and I’m wearing them. No its my lower regions, in my haste to get back to the bedroom after my wee I didn’t re tuck junior, just pulled everything back up, there’s a distinct bulge in my knickers – oh well, too late now.
Tempting as it was I resisted the urge to just chuck something on and go down for breakfast. Well for starters I needed to redo my face, sort out the pink rats’ nest and actually decide what to wear. Zak would’ve been downstairs in like two minutes but Zak isn’t here, its Trixie and Trixie takes somewhat longer to get ready.
In the end I decided on basic Goth Trixie, that's to say no corset or fancy hairdo but full-face paint and my ‘Wednesday’ outfit. After being stuck in the corset it was pretty liberating having nothing restrictive on and flat shoes – oh yes. After a final check in the mirror I took a deep breath and headed down to join the others.
“Morning Trix,” Jason beamed as I found my way to the dining room, “Full works?”
Good question, I didn’t exactly get to eat much last night, that stupid corset made sure of that. Of course, ‘full English’ covers quite a lot, from sausage, bacon and egg upwards to include mushrooms, beans, ‘browns, tomatoes, even chips. Well I reckon I can manage some of that.
“Er yes please, morning everyone.”
“’Manda says you had a wardrobe malfunction?” our hostess mentioned.
I blushed under my makeup, “Er yeah.”
“Good night eh?” Ray opined as I slid into the vacant spot at the table.
“Not bad,” I agreed.
“Here you go,” Jason interrupted as he passed a huge plate over the table to me.
“Er thanks,” I quickly surveyed the platter, “I’ll never eat all this.”
the plate was indeed well laden, all the usual components plus black pudding, fried bread and what looked like kidneys.
“Eat up girl,” Jasmine encouraged, “Full day ahead.”
In the end I did eat most of the food before volunteering my services as washer whilst the others dressed for the day.
I felt quite under dressed as we tumbled out of the taxi just by the cathedral a short while later, my companions and apparently half the town wearing romanticised Victorian costumes. There were a few more modern Goths amongst the crowds and all watched by the many tourists helping to fill the city streets. It was like some bizarre scene from a Dickens novel, the rich in their finery, the hoi polloi looking on with maybe a hint of envy.
For once I wasn’t the one getting all the attention, well no more than the local punk wannabees.
“So what’s the plan?” Ray enquired.
“You girls shopping?” Jason suggested.
“And just what are you two gonna do?” his wife asked.
“Thought we might check out the ‘Pilgrim’.”
Amanda rolled her eyes, “Don’t drink too much eh?”
“We’ll be good,” Ray insisted.
“Hmm,” Jas didn’t sound convinced, “We’ll meet you at the ‘Thomas’ at one?”
“’Kay,” Jason grinned back, “Don’t spend too much ladies.”
“You okay with that Trix?” Amanda asked as the chaps set off down the street.
“I wouldn’t mind a look around the town, I’ve not been before.”
Jasmine’s expression suggested that acting as tour guide wasn’t high on her priorities.
“I can explore on my own and meet you later?” I suggested.
“You sure?” Jas queried.
“Yeah, I’m a big girl you know.”
“If you say so,” Amanda suggested with a raised brow.
“Well you can meet us for tea then before we go to the ‘Thomas’.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
After some directions and instructions from Jasmine I found myself on my own with a couple of hours before our date with the teapot. I found one of those town plan boards and decided that a walk around the walls would be good but not before a look around the historic Cathedral. So okay I was doing the tourist bit, queuing up to see the site of one of the most infamous murders in English history but come on, could you resist that?
Back outside the sun was out, I found a quiet corner in the cloister and a selfie, the cathedral in the background. I quickly sent it off to Janey with a cryptic note then set off to find the city walls, well less find than follow as the wall skirts the cathedral complex. The wall is quite impressive where it stands and I took a few ‘artistic’ shots as I followed it clockwise around the town.
My phone chirped, a look at the caller id revealed it to be my sister.
“Heya.”
“You okay sis, thought you were with your friends?”
“I’m fine, Amanda and Jas are doing the shops, we’re meeting up in a bit before the ‘Tales gets going this afternoon.”
“Thought you’d be dressed up today.”
“Huh, after last night.”
“Go on, what happened?”
And so, as I walked I told Janey the tale of my incarceration in corsetry. Of course, she found it hilarious and in hindsight it was quite comical but I had been getting a bit panicky before Amanda’s timely rescue.
“So what’re you doing now?”
I checked the time, “Finding this tea room I guess.”
“You dressing up later?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Well maybe lay off the laces a bit eh, look got to go, laundry vans just arrived.”
“’kay, speak soon.”
After stowing the phone I tried to work out where I was, easier said than done. I found a way through the wall back into the narrow streets of the old town and no sooner had I reached the busier shopping zone than I spotted the tea shop, a busy corner peopled today by Victorian ladies, Korean tourists and bemused locals. It looked to be packed out but I spotted a familiar face inside and after a little bit of table dodging I dropped into a chair.
“Found us then,” Jasmine grinned.
© Maddy Bell 14.06.18
“So, what do you think Jas?” Amanda asked her friend as they perused the 'Victorian' market.
“Think?”
“About my little foundling?”
“Well she's certainly a cutie.”
“There's no doubt of that,” Manda agreed, “I still think there's something not quite right with her story.”
“In what way,” Jas queried.
“I'm not sure, there's just something a bit off.”
her friend gave a shrug, “Lots of young girls have issues, let’s face it why else would she have got into the scene?”
“I know but it’s like she's not really deep scene – despite appearances. Well you saw her yesterday, cute as a button and if she's more than sixteen, seventeen I'll eat my hat.”
Jas let loose with a chuckle, “Hope it’s got fruit on.”
“So, you believe her story?”
“I never said that did I?”
“That sounds like Jas Holmes has an idea?”
“You could just out and ask her.”
“And lose any trust she has in us, no it’s got to be more subtle than that, I don't want to frighten her off, she was dumped in Whitby and this 'sister' knows where we live.”
“You think she's in thrall to her somehow?”
“Well she is the girl's boss, she has quite a bit of leverage whether she really is related or not.”
“I hadn't looked at it like that,” Amanda admitted, “So what do you suggest?”
“Well, if she is being forced, she won't want to volunteer for anything that puts her deeper, what if we encourage her to get deeper?”
“Like how?”
“Dunno, I'm sure we'll think of something.”
“We back off if she gets jittery at all.”
“Hey, I’d never force anyone, coerce maybe.”
“Like with Em?”
“One of my few failures.”
“What time did we say we'd be at the tea shop?”
After stowing the phone, I tried to work out where I was, easier said than done. I found a way through the wall back into the narrow streets of the old town and no sooner had I reached the busier shopping zone than I spotted the tea shop, a busy corner peopled today by Victorian ladies, Korean tourists and bemused locals. It looked to be packed out but I spotted a familiar face inside and after a little bit of table dodging, I dropped into a chair.
“Found us then,” Jasmine grinned.
“Enough sightseeing?” Amanda asked.
“Enough walking,” I sighed.
“I thought they made you tough up north,” Jas opined as she poured me a cup of weak looking tea – Grand be apoplectic.
“I think that’s Yorkshire,” I suggested.
“We may be north but not that north eh Trixie,” Amanda added.
“So, what’s the plan for later?” I queried taking the insipid brew from my 'landlady'.
“Drag the guys out of the 'Pilgrim', home to change then back for the big bash at the Guildhall,” Jasmin advised.
“Best not go too mad with the corset tonight Trix,” Amanda suggested.
“Been there, done that,” Jas grinned.
“So, this Guildhall thing?” I queried, “Is it just bands?”
“Well that's the main draw of course but there's usually quite a few vendors and hopefully Jason has got us tickets for the buffet, save us trying to find somewhere outside to eat.”
We found the male component of our group, well if you don't count me, swapping unlikely tales with some other festival goers surprisingly where agreed in The Pilgrim, a tiny and cramped hostelry of the timber framed medieval ilk.
“Drink girls?”
“We got time?” Amanda asked.
“I reckon so,” Jas opined, “Can't let this lot get too far ahead of us.”
“Usual love?” Jason queried even as he stood to make space for his missus.
“Having a good time Trixie?” Ray enquired as he pulled a vacant chair over for me to sit on.
“Pretty good, looking forward to tonight, there're some good bands on.”
“Oh, talking of tonight,” Ray mentioned perching himself on a stool at the end of the table, “Rod Green was in earlier.”
“Not seen Rod since his mum passed,” Jas noted.
“How is he?” Amanda queried.
“Looking well,” Ray advised, “He should be at the Guildhall later.”
Not knowing this Rod Green, I was concentrating on trying to decipher the poster behind me via the mirror behind Jas.
My musing was interrupted by Jas, “He's quite a catch Trixie, single, own business, you could do worse.”
“Leave the girl alone,” Jason suggested returning with hands full of alcoholic beverages.
“Just saying, if you weren't here I’d be in the hunt.”
“You're incorrigible Jas,” Amanda stated.
“P'raps Trixie isn't looking to get hooked up.” Jason noted.
“After how that lad treated her up at Whitby, I should think a boyfriend is the last thing on her mind,” Ray proposed.
“Er yeah, I mean no,” I mentioned as it seemed they were waiting for my response.
Rory, the git. He might be my sister's boyfriend and sort of my best friend, well Zak's, but he really was a @$!# that weekend. I mean, what sort of man abandons his date for the weekend like that – okay, perhaps I wasn't exactly what he thought he was getting but that’s irrelevant, you just don't dump a girl a hundred miles from home. And Janey is still going out with him.
“You seen him since?” Amanda probed.
“No, and when hell freezes over would be too soon,” I pretty much spat. Even if I do miss having a few bevvies down the Robin Hood – it’s not like Trixie turning would be a good idea.
“Ouch,” Jas allowed at my vehemence.
Without the restriction of the hobble skirt and over tight corset, even in the stupid heels, I was able to navigate the stairs down to the living room on my own this evening. Of course, my Goth wardrobe hasn't increased since Whitby, why would it, I’ve spent the intervening weeks hoping to return to being Zak Askwith, not galivanting around the country as Trixiebell Heartswoon. The result being that I'm wearing the slightly risqué outfit from Yorkshire, the semi burlesque affair that barely covers my nether regions at the front but is full and flouncy behind.
Of course, whilst I'm still not exactly happy with this outfit, my previous experience wearing it lessens the fear.
“Aren't you the little vixen,” Jas stated, “I feel like a wallflower in comparison.”
I'm not sure but I think it was meant as a compliment so I took it as such.
I shrugged, “Have to make the effort, right?”
It wasn't just the dress of course, I’ve had time to practice face painting and hair styling – with some input from Janey, I'm pretty sure, that unless I lose my knickers no one is going to mistake Trixiebell Heartswoon for anything other than female. Replacing the piercing jewellery was a bit of a pain but I think the effort has been worthwhile.
“We ready then?” Ray enquired.
“Reckon so, Trixie?”
Well I was dressed, that doesn't exactly mean I'm ready.
“You might want this,” Jasmine suggested brandishing 'my' handbag. If you can call it a bag, it’s more of a lacquered box with a clasp and little handle – not exactly practical but I don't suppose the designer was going for practical.
“Thanks,” I quickly checked that everything was inside.
“Taxi's here,” Jason advised from his position at the front bay.
I stared at my wrist in a sort of fascinated stupor. Of course, I’d been carried away with the atmosphere – like my stupid nails in Whitby. You'd think with all the metalwork I already sport, done in an effort to impersonate my namesake, that I’d be shy of adding more.
But oh no, I had to stop and watch the red head having the dermal put in her temple, not that I could actually see what the guy was doing but when he'd done it looked pretty cool. Oh, it’s not like I hadn't seen people with them before, they aren't common but in the 'community' you do see a few. When the piercer made his pitch, I was like putty in his hands, I didn't want anything else in my face so he suggested this.
I fingered the ribbon bow which links the two tiny rings fixed to the back of my wrist, a bizarre mirror of the tattoo on the other wrist. Pretty weird, a very Goth girlie thing, urgh, I'm supposed to be getting back to Zak not getting deeper into Trixiebell! Well I suppose I can take them out when I get home, well get my sister to, it'll need two hands after all.
With a sigh I reached over and turned out the bedside lamp, that’s in the future, right now I need some shut eye.
'Huh,' I scrunched my eyes tightly in an effort to clear the sleep before prying them open. Something was, I dunno, dragging at my wrist, which was sort of trapped under the pillow my face was mashed into. It took a moment or two to get my brain in gear before I remembered exactly where I was.
Yeah, last night was quite something and clearly my alcohol consumption had not been minimal. I rolled over, which freed my pinned arm and reminded me of the two mounds on my chest. Urgh, I can't wait until Zak replaces Trixie, okay it was my choice to come this weekend, to be full on Trixiebell Heartswoon again but that's not the point.
A glance at the bedside clock suggested it was far too early to be awake, six thirty - I don't even need to be up at that time for work! How on earth can I be awake at this time when we didn't leave the Guildhall until what, two o'clock? Whatever had been tugging at my wrist was still doing it even as my arm hung free off the edge of the bed.
What the, there, on the back of my wrist was the cause, a ribbon bow apparently fixed there. Of course, it came flooding back then, watching the piercer, the girl with the cogs on her temple, the fitting of my own dermals. What the heck was I thinking, I’ve already got more holes than a colander, I’m supposed to be getting back to Zak not going deeper into Trixie.
The discomfort seemed to be caused by the ribbon pulling at the pair of rings attached to the piercings, it took me a couple of minutes but I managed with the help of my teeth to undo the bow and release the pressure. It helped but it was weird seeing the two rings apparently attached directly to my arm.
What's more, unlike a through piercing, I couldn't see how to remove them. Oh well, I can worry about that after I get home, for now, the annoying tug was gone and the reality of today filled my head.
Today, Sunday - at some point we'll be heading back to the north Midlands but before then, well there are still entertainments to be had here in Canterbury. At least I know how I’m getting back to Chessy this time, not like when my best mate dumped Trixiebell in Whitby. If I’d been able to get straight back to being Zac, he would've got a slaying, but oh no, Janey insisted I go whole hog.
Which was sort of fine, well except for the piercings and tattoo - I can't believe I’ve got that etched into me. And I suppose even giving up my job at the hospital and re-employing as a chambermaid wasn't so bad, I actually make more, even if it is minimum wage. I guess it's all my own fault in the end, if I hadn't been so intent on going to Gothfest none of this would've happened.
There was a gentle knock at the door.
“You decent Trixie luv?"
Amanda.
“Just a minute," I allowed, quickly assessing my state of undress.
Boobs - check, knickers - check, PJ's - erm, I quickly readjusted things to make me decent before slipping across to the door and cracking it open.
'morning."
“Just checking you're okay, you were a bit..."
“Out of it?" I suggested.
“I was going to say happy," Manda supplied.
“Nothing that a good night's sleep couldn't fix."
“Good, I promised your sister I’d look out for you, I don't want her beating my door down."
The thought of Janey on the war path made me smile inside.
“Honestly, I’m fine," I reiterated.
“Great, Jas is doing full English again if you're interested?"
“I think I can manage that, hair of the dog and all that, er should I help?"
“I'm sure it would be appreciated, no rush, I think she's in the shower at the moment."
“I'd best get some clothes on anyway," I opined.
“I'll leave you to it."
Manda left and I carefully closed the door again, so much for a lie in. To be honest, helping with breakfast would assuage my mind a little, I’ve been staying here for nix this weekend, I’ve not even managed to buy a round of drinks. Yep, it might not be much but helping with breakfast will at least show willingness to contribute.
“Morning Trixie," Jas offered, even at this hour she was in pseudo Victorian garb.
On the other hand, I was dressed in similar fashion to Fridays travel outfit, I can change for going out after we've had brekkie.
“Hiya, there anything I can do for breakfast, Manda said you’re doing the works again?"
“Any good with scrambled eggs?"
So okay, I’m a single lad, living at home with my mum and sister, at uni I survived on takeaways so haute cuisine isn't me. Don't get me wrong, I can get by, pretty much the only thing more complicated than beans in the micro I can do is scrambled eggs.
“I'm your m-irl," oops.
'great," Jas enthused apparently having missed my near slip. “So, there's eggs in the larder, milk in the fridge, there's a mixing bowl in the corner cupboard, best use the big pan for five of us. I'll get the meat in the oven."
“Okay," I agreed.
Scrambled eggs are really quite simple of course, eggs in bowl, bit of salt and pepper, mix it all up, milk or butter if you want then onto the stove to cook. Mum always does it in a saucepan, it’s always a bit anaemic and runny but I prefer a frying pan, no oil or fat beyond the butter, you get a more even, 'drier' result, maybe browned a little. A bit of chopped bacon is my 'signature' feature.
The decor might be all Victogoth, the clothes likewise but my hosts hadn't stinted on the kitchen. No sirree, a modern double fan oven, induction hotplate above, yup very nice. By the time I had everything assembled, Jas had the sausages, bacon and black pud in the bottom oven and a stack of plates in the warming oven.
To be honest, the bacon, egg, sausage breakfast with maybe fried bread does me but Jas was soon sorting out mushrooms, tomatoes, hash browns and what turned out to be homemade baked beans. Coffee was already brewing so everything was under control.
“Excellent eggs Jas," Jason mentioned, “You done them different?'
“I've not done them at all, Trixie is responsible for things chicken."
“Dunno what you’ve done Trixie girl but they're beaut," Jason raved.
“Nothing special," I advised, “Mum can't cook eggs to save herself so I sort of taught myself, Jas did most of it."
“Ah, but it's the eggs we'll remember."
“If you keep on in that vein, you'll be cooking your own next time," his wife threatened.
“I was just saying," he demurred.
“So, what's the plan today kids?" Jasmine enquired as we finished up with the generous breakfast.
“There're a couple of bands on in the park this morning," Amanda suggested, “I know Trix wanted to see at least one of them, thought we'd do dinner, take another look around the town then head off back home."
“You're staying for tea guys?"
Manda allowed a grin, “Could be tempted. You changing Trixie?"
Well it's not like I’ve got a lot of say in the programme is it?
“Er yeah, best had."
“What time?" Jason asked, “I need to book the taxi."
“Ten thirty sound okay?" Mand proposed.
“Good for me," Jas agreed.
“Er fine," I added as Mand seemed to need my input.
“Ten thirty it is then," Jason confirmed.
“Plenty of time for you two to do the washing up," Jas suggested to the menfolk.
Back up in my temporary abode I surveyed my meagre wardrobe choice, I dismissed the hobble skirt, that was such a pain on Friday which left me with a reprise of last night's outfit or going Munster. Eanie meanie miny mo.... Well of course you can fix the rhyme to get the result you want and I quite like the flouncy outfit even if it is a bit, exposing.
I might not have been doing this girl lark for very long but necessity has fuelled my skill levels. It took me longer doing hair and makeup than dressing - well I changed my piercing jewellery to 'daytime' which is a bit fiddly and I couldn't get my eyeliner right. My excuse and I’m sticking to it.
“Manda?" I timidly knocked on the guest room door.
“Doors open," she called out.
Having lived most of my life as the lone male in a female household, I’ve had it drummed into me that their rooms were sacrosanct. They of course could just barge into Zak's room but woe betide the reverse. So I was a little cautious entering even after being invited.
“You okay luv?" Amanda enquired, “That dress really suits you."
“Er thanks," I allowed not quite sure where to look, Manda being in a state of partial undress still. “I was just wondering if you could do this for me?"
I held the ribbon in one hand and offered my newly pierced wrist.
“It's just that I can't do it one handed," I mumbled on.
“Come here, let's have a look."
I felt like I was six again, getting mum to tie my school shoes laces. She took my hand and the ribbon and quickly tied the bow. None of the adults had commented when I appeared with my new adornment, I’m not really sure what they thought, personally I am having a little buyer’s regret.
“That okay, not pulling or anything?"
“It's fine thanks."
“That it?"
“Er yeah, I’ll um leave you to finish dressing."
“Before you do, you can do me a favour."
“Er sure," I agreed warily.
“Can you go in my makeup case, see if you can find my long jet drops."
“Drops, er sure."
Well I knew what her makeup case looked like, that was easy enough but what are jet drops?
“I know I put them in but I’ll be blowed if I can see them this morning." Manda continued behind me.
I opened the case up and started poking about. Janey is, to say the least, particular with her makeup, a place for everything and everything in its place, my own little collection hardly warrants organisation but Manda - well it’s like World War III in here! It didn't take a rocket scientist to see the problem, lipstick, eyeliner, earrings, bracelets, mascara al pretty much thrown in together.
“It's a bit of a mess," she admitted.
“Er yeah," I agreed, “You mind if I empty some of this out?"
“Help yourself, Ray bought me those earrings at Whitby last year."
Ah, earrings, now I know what I’m looking for! I pulled out a handful of assorted stuff which immediately revealed what looked like one of the missing items.
“This them?" I enquired holding it out for Manda to see from where she was busy doing up her boots.
“Brilliant, you've got better eyes than me."
“I've only found one," I pointed out.
“It's a start," she allowed.
Having located one I at least knew what I was looking for now, a sift through the dross in the case soon turned up its twin.
“Here you go," I announced, one pair of earrings."
“Thanks, Trix, you're a life saver."
Well hardly that. I shovelled paints and potions back into the case.
“Are you going downstairs?" Amanda asked.
“Just need my bag," I confirmed.
“Just tell the others I’ll be another couple of minutes."
“Sure."
The park turned out to be of the patch of grass with a bandstand variety, typical of towns and cities across the country. By the time the taxi dropped us off, the place was already well populated by a mixture of be costumed folk and bemused locals with their dogs and small children. I wouldn't wear this get up around Chessy but here, well I’m tame by comparison to some of the folks!
As we walked into the park it probably looked like I was the rebellious offspring of some of the adults I was with. Jason and Jas strolling confidently ahead, Amanda and Ray offering a more restrained Steam Punk visage. Okay, that's all a bit weird, for starters I’m not related to any of them and of course I’m not a girl either.
Somehow though, it was kind of reassuring in a weird kind of way. As Zak I’m not exactly the most outgoing of people, Trixie isn't quite a recluse but not far from it. Trixiebell Heartswoon, Goth Princess, whilst not an extrovert is certainly more outgoing than either of them, it's reassuring that someone is looking out for her.
It was already developing into a warm day, the sun was making valiant attempts to banish the few puffs of white in the skies, a gentle breeze blew off the Stour but even so, I was quite glad I wasn't wearing all the heavy skirts and stuff Jas and Amanda were wearing. Yup, the breeze up my fundament was doing a reasonable job of keeping me something like comfortable. Everyone was gravitating towards the bandstand and the deck chairs arranged around three sides of it.
Hmm, deck chairs, corsets, big skirts – not a combination made in heaven! Of course, my companions were well equipped, the ladies with parasols, Rod and Jason carrying several shooting sticks. The programme suggested that there would be live music until about four this afternoon, a mixture of Goth Rock and the slightly lighter flavour favoured by the Steam Punk community, looks like a good day ahead.
“Who's on next?” Amanda enquired after a fairly mediocre session from 'Clockwise' that received polite applause but had hardly had the crowd captivated – so much so that Rod and Jason had departed in search of liquid refreshments. We'd already sat through three other outfits that did get better responses, apparently, they were local and fixtures on the local scene.
I pulled my programme out of my hand bag and checked the running order, “Just says 'surprise guests', they've got a longer slot.”
“There's been rumours of a big name coming,” Jas mentioned.
To be honest, the big names in Goth Rock are more likely to be at Glastonbury than at Gothic Tales which is a bit hard on the fans but understandable I guess – it’s their livelihood after all. Surprise guests implies they've struggled to fill the headline slot so what we'll get, who knows. The MC, a chap rocking classic Steampunk attire, top hat and cane included strode to the front of the bandstand.
“I'm sure you've all been hearing rumours about our headlining band today, no it’s not The Cure or Evanescence.”
there were disappointed groans from around the crowd, I mean come on, those guys are not gonna do a bandstand!
“These guys are one of the top outfits for our kind of music in Europe, we managed to convince them to join us here as the final gig of a month-long tour of Europe, please put your hands together for,” he made a dramatic pause, “BlauHase!”
oh – my – god, BlauHase. Of course, I’ve heard of them, who in the scene hasn't? I mean they've been all over the media this last year, I think they're German, they've been the hot property at all the European festivals and they're here! The crowd were all cheering and clapping, I never expected to see such superstars this weekend and I don't suppose anyone else did.
“Did I hear right?” Rod asked arriving with hands full of those plastic beer glasses, “BlauHase?”
“Yup,” I enthused relieving him of a drink’s container.
“Nice.”
the crowd hushed as the sound of drumming started through the PA system followed by the mournful riff from a bass guitar. This went on for a couple of minutes before a diminutive figure stepped from the gloom of the bandstand to the top of the steps. The drumming and guitar faded to nought before their lead singer, Erdbeere started their famous intro.
'Ich bin Feuer und Flamme
Mein Herz ist aus Papier
Kein Feuerlöscher auf der Welt
Rettet mich mehrvor dir
Die Erde dreht sich schneller
Ich habmich angesteckt
Ich glaub, Ich habe Fieber
Du hast mich total verhext”
Okay, I won't even pretend to know what any of that means but who cares, that girl can sing! But music transcends language, Feuer und Flamme ended and soon Fehlen Legion was booming out of the PA. I guess they might not be to everyone’s taste but the crowd were enthusiastic and the applause and cheering were loud when it ended.
“Hallo England!” Erdbeere told us as the rest of the band rested for a moment. “So, it is good to be here at Gottic Tales, the somer, it has been long for us, tomorrow we are finally at home, but today we are glad to be in Canterbury.”
I'm not sure how old Erdbeere is, she looks about fifteen even in the revealing stage outfit, a sort of pastiche of my own dress. One thing is for sure she rocks the strawberry pink hair and her accent is just so cool, if I was Zak I’d be in lust, well as Trixie she was causing some discomfort and I'm betting I'm not the only one.
The cheering calmed back down and she went on, “From a small child, I’ve always been a fan of Freddy Mercury, so in tribute next we do one of my favourites, I hope yours too.”
“I’m just a poor girl from a poor family,
Easy come, easy go,
Will you let me go?
Ich millach no, we will not let you go,
Let me go,
Ich millach no, we will not let you go,
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me-e, for me-e, for meee.”
Okay so whether you consider Bohemian Rhapsody as Goth Rock probably depends as much on your generation as anything. It has all the elements, the tale of doom, the theatrical dimension and, well everyone knows the words. The BlauHase version got a lot of air play earlier this year, they even did a remake of the Queen video – maybe a bit controversial but they weren't disrespecting, indeed it was released for some sort of charity.
And so their set went on, a mix of familiar tunes along with some new stuff from their recent album, 'Grosse Zeitung'.
Erdbeere, took a sip from a water bottle and, panting heavily addressed the crowd.
“And so, we must come to an end. We hope you have enjoyed our program; we have certainly enjoyed ourselves, eh boys?”
the rest of the band waved and cheered behind her.
“So, we end wiz one of my favourite covers and I think maybe yours. We haf been BlauHase, thank you.”
“Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?
Dann singe ich ein Lied fürdich
Von neunundneundzig Luftballons...”
there was a big cheer as a big cloud of balloons rose from behind the bandstand, Erdbeere then managed to mix both German and English lyrics through an extended version of the Nena classic.
Okay, call me a fan boy, okay fan girl for now, but I was right up there in the queue for autographs.
“Snap!” Erdbeere grinned when I got to the front.
“Erm.”
“It is a good look, although I can't wait to change, it is a bit warm today no?” she whispered.
“A bit,” I agreed.
Up close she was still cute, the makeup was quite dramatic, the nose stud I'm betting is a real diamond, I reckon without the dark pink hair you'd walk straight past her in the street. Her roots were just showing, blonde by the looks, I guess it’s difficult to keep up appearances when you're on the road like they've been.
“So, who is this for?”
“A, er, Trixie, I mean Trixiebell.”
“Almost as strange as Erdbeere eh?”
“Er yeah,” I agreed, totally star struck.
Copyright Maddy Bell 05.07.2019
“There you are,” Amanda stated, “We wondered where you'd got to.”
“Er sorry, couldn't miss getting an autograph.”
“Ha, proper fangirl!” Jason chuckled!
I showed them the ten by six that Erdbeere had signed for me.
“To Trixiebell my Gothic twin, Erdbeere.” Rod read over my shoulder.
“Twin?” Jas queried.
“Well I am dressed similar to her,” I allowed.
“So, we gonna find some food?” Manda asked.
I think the bands filling out the rest of the afternoon have got a lot to live up to after BlauHase, we certainly weren't the only ones showing signs of moving on.
“Here or in town?” Jason asked.
“We can probably get in The Wall,” Jas suggested.
“Sounds good,” Rod opened.
“It’s not too far is it?” I asked, well these shoes aren't as bad as the stilettos but they still aren't exactly made for walking.
“About ten minutes,” Jason supplied.
“You were really shaking it back there,” Manda told me as we 'ladies' followed the menfolk towards our lunch rendezvous.
“Er yeah,” I allowed cautiously.
“It’s good to see some youngsters getting the scene,” Jas put in.
“Guess you either are or aren't.”
Of course, as Zak I’d drop in and out as it suited me, but Trixiebell is pretty hardcore. Of course, a lot of that is commitment, there certainly are lads that have embraced the whole thing but maybe they're less obvious than girls in all the frills and stuff. Without my sister's intervention one, I wouldn't be Trixie now and two, well I wouldn't be Trixie.
The men had gone on ahead so that when the rest of us arrived they were already snagging extra seats for us. I say seats, with the damn bustle thing on the back of my dress it has to be a stool for me, somehow Amanda and Jas managed proper chairs. We were in the beer garden but thankfully the city wall offered enough shade to make it comfortable – ish.
“Everyone up for a roast?” Jason queried.
“Just small ones for us girls,” Jas suggested.
I had been about to decline but I guess I can manage a kid’s portion.
“Drinks?” Rod asked.
“Remember you're driving later,” his wife pointed out.
“Kill joy.”
Mand gave him a look, I’ve seen Janey pull that with Rory, you don't want to mess with that.
“Okay, I'm on shandy,” he grinned.
“More music or shopping after?” Jas queried once the chaps had departed to place the food order and obtain beverages.
To be honest, I neither had the money to more than window shop or the inclination for more music, BlauHase having spoilt me.
“I'm easy,” I suggested.
“Pretty sure you didn't mean to say that,” Jas smirked.
It took me a moment to get my head around that, “Erm.”
“We know what you meant,” Amanda told me, “But you might want to choose your words more carefully Trix. Anyway, I’ve had enough of perching on that damn stick, wouldn't mind another look at the stalls in the Guildhall.”
“Works for me, we can let the men loose, pretty sure they won't want to look at drawers,” Jas chuckled.
I mentally went through my finances, I spent forty quid on the dermals last night but otherwise my 'guardians' have refused to let me spend my money on food or drink so I'm still reasonably flush. I really should get something for my hosts and chauffeurs, guess the Guildhall stalls are as good a place as any to do that.
It’s no wonder women in the corset wearing eras of history were invariably fairly skinny – talk about an appetite suppressant! The 'small' dinners didn't seem to be much different from the plates that Rod and Jason had, maybe there was a bit less meat, fewer roast taters – anyway, even lightly corseted I struggled to make room for it all. As for dessert – forget it.
The menfolk were still eating their apple pie and custard when I returned from a necessary visit – it’s still very much an adventure I could do without, using the ladies that is.
“So, we'll meet up at the Cathedral four o'clock?” Jas was suggesting.
“'kay,” Jason agreed with a wink at Rod.
“You,” Manda told her hubby, “Behave.”
“I'm wounded.”
“I'll wound you if you turn up plastered.”
“Don't worry Mand, I'll keep him square,” Jason pronounced.
“You'd better,” Jas added.
“Ready Trix?”
“Er, yeah, sure.”
Yeah, my interest in women’s clothing starts and ends with getting back to Zak, there is no way I wanted to discuss bloomers and the like with Manda and Jas. I found myself, instead, on a mission for gifts I had no idea what, but no doubt something'll jump out at me. They were the same vendors as last night of course, the difference being it was less busy, the warm weather encouraging more people to be at the park enjoying the sun.
I'm useless at this kind of stuff, I usually get my almost twin to do the deed, hmm, there's an idea.
She picked up on the third ring, “Hi Zak,” she emphasised.
“You with mum?”
“Right here bro, so how're you doing in Bristol.”
“Pretty good, look, I need some advice, some thank you gifts?”
“Oh, that’s a good idea Zak, pot plant?”
“Really?”
“Can't go wrong.”
'your brother's not doing drugs is he Janey?' I heard mum ask up in Chessy.
“No mum, present for his landlady.”
“What about chocolate?” I posed.
“Bit of a cop out Zak.”
Another voice came on the line, “When are you coming back to Chesterfield?”
“Er not sure mum, couple of weeks?”
“Hmm.”
“Can you put Janey back on?”
“Just you be careful down there Zak.”
“I will, love you mum.”
“And you, here's your sister.”
“You there Zak?”
“Still here, look I'll give you a call later when I know what time we'll be back.”
“Okay, Aspidistra,”
“Right, thanks sis, see you later.”
I ended the call, well that was useful, not. Where do I get pot plants in the middle of Canterbury on a Sunday afternoon? Not in the Guildhall that’s for sure, let’s find the others.
“Well?” Amanda asked her friend as they watched her young charge almost skip away.
“Be blowed if I can put a finger on it,” Jas admitted, “All I’ve seen has been a slightly insecure, shy kid. If I had to pin it down, I’d say she's using the Goth thing as a crutch.”
“Yeah, perhaps a bit destructive, those new piercings...”
“She's a kid, they do impulsive things, my advice is not to make a fuss, I reckon she's had her fill of that at home by what she's told you.”
“I still think she's hiding something,” Mand opined.
“Well, whatever it is, she'll tell you, or someone when she's ready, push things and she might take off.”
“You're right, I'm just a bit clucky I guess.”
Believe it or not, I found what I was after in the Abbey gardens. No, I didn't steal them, they were having a plant sale, the old fella was quite helpful, perhaps it was a slow day. Anyhow when we all reconvened by the Cathedral's south door, I was weighed down by a couple of recycled carrier bags.
“You taking up gardening Trix?” Jason enquired.
“Er no, look you guys have been really good to me this weekend, here, these are to say thanks.”
okay, it wasn't the most eloquent of speeches, but it got the basic sentiment over.
“You didn't need to,” Jas told me, “It’s a nice thought, thank you.”
“Ditto,” Amanda added, “Come here.”
And so, I ended up in a three-way hug, not quite sure of my own emotions.
“Come on gang,” Jason interrupted, “Taxi's here.”
back at the house it was time to become a less stand out member of society for the long drive north, comfort over style. I didn't waste time on the packing, it'll all be hitting the washer when I get back anyhow. As a result, I was the first one to get back downstairs, I could hear someone in the kitchen so I headed that way.
“Trix girl," Jason beckoned me over, “Got a minute?"
“Er sure," I agreed reaching down to help ease my ballet pump onto my foot - elastic is great but not when you are trying to cut corners. “So, what's up?"
“Don't look so worried, I’m not gonna bite," he grinned as I joined him at the kitchen counter.
“Look, don't take this the wrong way but me and the missus got you a little something."
“Erm."
“Oh, I know it might seem a bit strange but we've enjoyed having you here, having a youngster in the house for a couple of days, Em doesn't come home that regular and we'll, Jas gets a bit clucky. Anyhow, we know you don't have a lot of mula, well just consider it our contribution to Trixiebell."
He actually looked a bit embarrassed as he passed me one of those jewellery box things.
“Er thanks, what is it?" my curiosity was piqued.
“Open it and see," he suggested.
Well duh, Zak, Trixie, whatever, make yourself look stupid why don't you. I pushed the lid up and lifted the tissue paper up that was covering the contents.
“Jas thought it'd be more convenient than having to get your phone out every time you wanted the time."
Yep, the contents were indeed of the time keeping persuasion, a delicate clockface in a sort of Steam Punk stylee, definitely more Trixie than Zak!
“Um, thanks, you didn't need to get me anything though."
“Indulge us eh, it’s not like we're short of a bob."
Well I guess to live the lifestyle full time like they do that has to be true. Even from my brief experience as a full-on Goth Princess I know that quality clothing and stuff costs a bob or three.
“I think you've been done," I suggested, “There's no strap or anything."
“Ha, well spotted girl."
“So, it goes in a pocket or something?"
“Or something, it fits on your dermals."
“Huh?"
“Sit yourself down and gi's your hand and I’ll put it on for you."
The distraction of my latest piercings had abated during the day, the ribbon bow between the rings but a minor distraction. To be honest, I hadn't really thought that they could be re purposed. I perched on one of the high chairs and let Jason take my hand.
“So, it's back to work tomorrow eh?" he asked.
“Uh huh," I agreed, “Seventy rooms to strip and clean."
“On your own?"
“No, there's Magda too, we do about half each."
“Sounds like hard work for a youngster."
I shrugged, “It's not too bad, we're usually done by two and I get a good deal on my room."
I felt a little tug on my wrist.
“That was easy enough," Jason stated, “You live at the hotel?"
“Yeah, just temporary, at least I can't be late!" I joked.
There was another little tug and when I looked Jason had removed both of the rings from my wrist.
“I thought the watch was gonna be fixed to those?"
“Not the rings, these," he gently brushed one of the almost invisible posts on the back of my wrist.
“Er okay," I allowed with a little confusion.
He carefully placed the timepiece in place, “See?"
“I think so."
“So, you want to stay in Derbyshire then?"
I gave another little shrug, “It's where my family is."
“Powerful things, families."
“Complicated," I noted.
“That they are," he sat back, “There we go, what do you think?"
I looked at my wrist, at the watch that, without any obvious means, was apparently attached to it. I twisted my hand about and it stayed put, there was a slight pull but nothing uncomfortable.
“How?"
“Cunning eh," Jason chuckled, “Couple of tiny screws, here, you'd best keep these safe."
He passed me the jewel case back, the watch replaced by the pair of rings and the ribbon.
“Er thanks, so how do I take it off?"
“Just undo the screws, there's a couple of spares in the box if you manage to lose any."
I checked it out again, identifying the tiny screw heads either side of the dial. Pretty cool, Janey'll flip when she sees this.
“Thanks Jason, its brill."
“Just take care eh and remember, if you need help any time or just fancy getting away for a bit, we're here."
I leant over and gave him a friendly half hug, “Thanks."
“Cuppa before you go?” Jas suggested when the rest of the party joined Jason and me.
“Go on then,” Manda agreed, “We'll eat up the road.”
“You sure, I can rustle up some salad, sandwiches?”
I looked at my new timepiece, “I can help?”
“Looks like we'll do that then,” Amanda sighed.
Well it avoids my travel companions coughing up for overpriced motorway food.
“Come on Rod,” Jason put in, “Let’s get these cases loaded, leave the ladies to it.”
It was almost six before we eventually left our hosts. Tea was what I’d guess mum would call 'high tea', sandwiches, tea of course and some bun-age that Jas produced from somewhere. Not too heavy but enough to fuel us through the journey, sure we'll stop up the road, maybe even have a drink but foodwise we're set.
There was a round of emotional farewells, seems like I’ve acquired more friends, well Trixie has at least. Where that leaves Zak I'm not sure. It didn't take long to get onto the A2 and I was asleep before the Dartford crossing.
“Trix luv, we're here,” Amanda's voice broke through my dreams.
“Hmm, where?” I queried as I stretched my arms across the car.
“Chesterfield.”
“Chesterfield? Thought we were stopping?”
“Well you were asleep so we decided to just drive straight up.” Rod advised.
Janey, I was gonna ring Janey.
“Er thanks.”
“Let’s get you inside,” Rod suggested even as he heaved himself out of the car.
“Ring me,” Manda instructed as we exchanged a last hug outside the Ibis' entrance.
“I will,” I agreed, “Thanks for taking me, I’ve had a really good time.”
“No problem, oh hang on a second,” she trotted over to the car and returned with a sheet of paper, “Almost forgot this.
My BlauHase, well Erdbeere picture! Mand had put it into her bag as my 'bag' is a bit small.
“Thanks,” I gave her another hug.
“Where are you?” Janey asked, “Do you know what the time is?”
“Ten thirty?”
“Wise arse, so what time and where?”
“I'm back, we drove straight up, they dropped me off here at the hotel a few minutes ago.”
“Well that's a relief, I can get to bed now.”
“I would've rung earlier but I was asleep in the car.”
“Whatever, I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Late night?” Magda surmised as I yawned for the second time in five minutes.
“Not really,” I told her, “Busy weekend.”
“I should be so lucky,” she retorted.
“Aren't you going home to Poland next week?”
“That's next week, this week we had sixty-five rooms on Saturday.”
I sort of felt a little guilty but of course that's what she wanted, it’s not like she was doing them all herself, the management would've been helping out, if only stripping beds.
“Only twenty today,” I pointed out, Sunday nights are usually quiet, a few keen businessmen, maybe a holidaymaker or two whereas the rest of the week we'll be pretty full.
“Only twenty she says,” Magda was into full theatrical mode.
Given the clientele, we had empty rooms by nine, by which time we'd already gone through several of the earlier departs. Of course, we don't get paid for sitting about, Monday's is carpet cleaning – they get hoovered every day of course but once a week it’s a wet wash on a three-week rota, one level per week. Magda, being nominally in charge put me on wet wash while she sloped off to hoover somewhere.
“Miss Heartswoon!”
I almost jumped out of my skin.
“Janey! You nearly gave me a heart attack.”
“Miss Askwith to you.”
“Look I'm sorry about last night, I fell asleep and next thing I knew we were outside in the car park.”
“Hmm, I'll let you off.”
“I'll get lunch?” I suggested.
“TFI?”
Clear me out why don't you sis, “Go on,” I sighed.
“So, it was a good weekend?” Janey asked as we were seated.
“Not bad.”
“Not bad, what's that supposed to mean?”
“Well it was more Steampunk than Whitby was.”
“And that's bad?”
“Just different, the couple we stayed with, well they are like super into the whole Victorian thing, Jas, Jasmine wears corsets and stuff all the time.”
“Weirdos.”
“Not really,” I told her in their defence, “No different to hardcore sports fans or punks or whatever.”
“Like I said, weird,” Janey stated.
“BlauHase were there yesterday.”
“Who the heck are they?”
“Oh, come on Jane, you must've heard of BlauHase, their lead singer's got dark pink hair, they did that Bohemian Rhapsody remake.”
“That BlauHase, why didn't you say,” she rolled her eyes.
“I got to meet Erdbeere too, the singer?”
“What sort of name is that?”
“I dunno, she's got a right pair of....”
“One track mind bro.”
“Trixie,” I corrected, “I was going to say lungs.”
“If you say so.”
“Not that her girls are bad,” I added with a grin.
“Pu-leez.”
“You brought the subject up.”
“Did not.”
I munched another fork full of salad, “You think mum smells a rat?”
“She's not said anything, why?”
“I dunno, she just sounded suspicious.”
“She always sounds suspicious and let’s face it, as far as she knows you just upped and went off to Bristol on a whim.”
“I could hardly call home for a big farewell looking like this could I?”
“Wasn't suggesting you could, maybe if you phoned home more often?”
“I guess.”
“New watch?”
By reflex I looked at my wrist, “Yeah, present from Jason and Jas.”
“Well let’s have a look then,” she demanded.
I put my fork down and extended my arm across the table.
“Okay, how's it held on,” she turned my arm over looking for some sort of strap.
“Screws?” I suggested.
“What do you mean, screws?”
“I er got some dermals, you know they sort of go under your skin? Anyhow that’s what the watch is attached to.”
Janey peered closer at my wrist, “So you can't take it off, what about the shower?”
“It unscrews.”
“But? There has to be a but,” she opined.
“I don't have a small enough screwdriver; the screws are like really tiny.”
“Yeah, I can see,” she allowed. “What were you even thinking getting the dermal thingies?”
“They looked so cool,” I told her.
She shook her head, “I thought you wanted to get back to being Zak not become more Trixie.”
“I do, it’s not like anything permanent, the guy said they come out quite easily.”
“He would if he thought he'd get a sale,” Janey, ever the sensible one of us suggested.
“I guess.”
“No guessing Trix, when we get back have a look in the maintenance room, there might be some tools in there.”
“'kay.”
© Maddy Bell 08.07.19
Of course, the tools in maintenance were of normal dimensions, for like normal screws and stuff not microscopic piercings. Instead I scored a few minutes on the patrons computer, Amazon had a set of tiny tools, one click later they were on their way. All being well they'll be here in a couple of days, guess I'll have to remain the human watch strap a little bit longer.
It took me a couple of days to pluck up the courage, but here I am, back at Ace Tattoo. The screwdrivers arrived yesterday, it was a bit awkward but I managed to remove the timepiece, replacing the screws with the original rings was a bit trickier but I eventually managed it. No need for the ribbon at the moment, its not really work appropriate.
"Hi Dawn," I offered as my tattoo artist of 'choice' ushered me into her back room.
"So what can I do for you today, more ink? Some 'intimate' piercing?"
"Er no, some advice for now."
"Advice? Hmm, dunno about that, have to charge you."
"Really? How much?" I enquired, i'm not destitute but neither am I floating in it.
"Just kidding girl, so what're you thinking, a sleeve or something?"
"Erm no, well its like this, I went to this thing down in Kent last week and there was this guy doing these um, micro things, long story short, I got these."
I presented my wrist for her inspection, the watch of course now replaced with the rings again.
"Hmm, pretty."
“Er yeah," I agreed, “thing is, when Trixie goes, I'll need need to lose the piercings, everything else is easy enough but I don't know how to take these out."
"It's not as easy as that with dermals Trix, you can't just slip them in and out."
"You can't?"
"When he put them in, did he show you the anchors first?"
"Yeah, they looked like half a tiny bike chain link"
"Hang on a mo," she went out into the shop and returned. A minute later with a couple of ziploc bags. "Like these?"
I looked at what was in the first bag, "Yeah, same shape but they had like a couple of holes in them, in the flat bit."
She proffered the other bag, "Like these?"
"Exacty those," I agreed.
"Bum!"
"Is that bad or something?"
"Depends on your point of view, if you want a stable, long lasting anchor it's great, if you want to take it out, not so good."
My heart sank, "Oh, I thought you just had to have the right tool, give it a twist and out it comes."
"Did this guy not explain anything?"
"Possibly," I allowed, I wasn't really paying that much attention."
She rolled her eyes, "If it was the plain base ones, yeah, with a bit of fiddling about we probably could pull them out but not with these," she tapped the be-holed anchors.
"Why not?"
"Because your Dermis grows through them, you do know what that is?"
"The underside of your skin right?"
"Loosely, so if we put in a plain anchor it sits there in a sort of pocket so like I said, you can, in theory, give it a bit of encouragement and out it'll pop. Put one of these mamas in, different ball game, it sits in a 'pocket' the same but your body will try to repair the damage, it'll literally grow through the holes in the plate fixing it more securely in place as it does so."
"So i'm stuck with them?"
“before we jump lets have a look,” she suggested pulling on a pair of nitrile gloves.
For a couple of minutes she looked at them more closely.
“you heal quickly,” she observed.
“yeah, scratch one day, nothing the next.”
“hmm.”
She retrieved something from the autoclave, one of the rings was detached and the tool thing replaced it. Then she gently tried to twist the resulting assembly which resulted in a bit of discomfort but nothing else. after a further examination, she sat back.
“so?”
"They can be removed but it's a job for a doctor or nurse really, they'll have to cut them out."
"Sugar."
"So what made you have it done?"
"Not really sure," I had to admit, "There was a girl having this sort of clock thing put on and I thought it looked kind of cool."
"And you had it done despite passing out when I did your other holes. Talking of which, no problems with any of them?"
"To be honest, i pretty much forget i've got them most of the time."
It's true, despite having more holes in my face than mums tea strainer most of the time I don't give them a second thought.
"Look, if you really want them taking out i'll ask around, see if there's anyone can do it, on the side like."
"Er thanks, i'll give it some thought, thanks for the advice, i'll let you get on with some paying customers."
"Don't worry about it Trix, sure you don't fancy a sleeve?"
As if that's gonna happen!
Well that'll teach me. Back out on the street I ruefully looked at the 'offending' additions to my anatomy, its not like I have to have the rings or the watch fitted is it? Feeling a bit down after Dawn's dermal 101 explanation, I set off for the town centre to cheer myself up with a coffee or something.
I guess i'm more comfortable presenting as Trixie in public now, dressed in normal clothes i'm just another girl albeit with pink hair and a few more piercings than most. Certainly nothing to make people point or think i'm not what I appear to be. I'm not sure if that's weird or not, it's not that I like dressing as a girl, or looking like one for that matter, but it doesn't feel weird anymore.
I got my cup of coffee in the Costa by the market then for want of anything better to do started mooching around the shops. As Zak Askwith, a look around the shops would mean games consoles, maybe a trip to one of the music emporiums but that'd be about it.As Trixie i'm finding myself drawn to clothing stores, shoe stores and heaven forbid - the purveyors of makeup! And i'm looking at girl stuff, how weird is that? I even found myself eyeing up 'other' young women, would that suit me, or that?
The trip to Derby with Janey had been truly mortifying but here I am, almost enjoying myself. I even found myself convincing myself that if i'm stuck as Trixie for maybe another couple of weeks that she needs more to wear than one summer frock, jeans, two pairs of leggings and some t shirts. Even if it's only with Janey, this 'girl' isn't gonna live the life of a monk, so there!
Well thats my excuse anyhow. It was in one of those 'budget' clothing places, not super cheap but more affordable if you are on a tight budget. Cream lace over a solid liner, you could almost claim it to be summer Goth! So of course, that meant shoes and a stop in Victoria's Secret supplied some suitably lacy intimates to go with it. I was feeling pretty mellow by the time I headed back to the hotel and my temporary abode.
“What are you doing tonight?” I asked Janey, she was doing the rounds with the wage slips.
© Maddy Bell 10.04.2020
"What are you doing tonight?” I asked Janey, she was doing the rounds with the wage slips.
"I was rather hoping for dinner at Chez Julianne with Rory but he's not rung yet, why?”
"Well I was wondering if you fancied going into town,” I started, "We could get some food, maybe go to The Star, you know shake a feather?”
she reached out a hand and placed it on my forehead, "Nope, not running a temperature.”
"Ha de har, what do you reckon?”
"I reckon my little sister has been abducted by aliens, what brought this on?”
"Well, just because I'm stuck like this doesn't mean I have to live like a Nun does it?”
"Okay you're on, I don't think I can stand another night of Midsommer Murders with mum.
"Great!”
"Outside Marks seven thirty?”
"Why not here?”
"I won't be driving, the bus stops just around the corner, I'm not coming all the way out here just to go straight back.”
She had a valid point.
"At Marks then.”
"Where're we eating?”
"They do food in the Hardwick.”
"I'll wear my wellies.”
"Its not that bad,” I offered in the pubs defence.
Well I suppose it does have a bit of a reputation, you certainly wouldn't take a girl there on a date unless you wanted shot, its not really a bad place its just that it gets a, er, rowdy crowd in sometimes.
"We can decide later,” Janey proposed, "Here, you best have this,” she passed me the envelope containing my pay slip.
'Eight weeks,' Zak or rather Trixie mused looking into the mirror, 'it was only supposed to be for a weekend, this Trixiebell Heartswoon lark. Why on earth Rory hadn't just used a picture of Janey for the Whitby pass and why on earth did I let Janey talk me into all this. Well okay, it was greed, she, no we, its not entirely Janey's fault, just got a bit carried away. I was the one that got her nails done, I'm the one that's continued this charade, exacerbated things even.
The image in the mirror certainly doesn't look like the wanna be Goth, barely employed Zak Askwith that the eyes had looked out from for most of the previous twenty two years. Of course I can still see me but I still don't have eyebrows, I still have more holes in my face than a colander, still have pink hair and firmly affixed to my chest, what can best be described as 'realistic' breasts of the C cup variety. Yup, by the time i've got makeup on, I look more like Trixiebell flippin' Heartswoon than she does.
To paraphrase old Frreddy Mercury, is this real life or is it a fantasy, i've been caught in a landslide, an escape from reality. The question is, do I want this 'fantasy' to become 'reality' or can I return to being boring ol' Zak Askwith when I get rid of these nails in a couple of weeks. Of course, while this was all going through my head my hands, on auto pilot, were busily and expertly doing my face – you tend to learn quickly when anything less than perfection could land you up shite creek.
Not that its the full Goth look tonight, no its a watered down version, more like Disney® does Goth so there's less eyeliner, my brows look a bit less dramatic and the lippy is a more subtle shade. The pink hair, i've got used to it now, is in a fashionable bun – those foam bun rings are such a cheat but apart from the shade, I think it looks quite chic, a couple of barrettes for a bit of bling, et voila, time to get dressed. A quick look at my 'wrist' watch confirmed the need to get my act together, ten to seven.
I already had my control pants hiding Zak junior out of the way, it was a matter of moments to add a bra and pull my new frock on before sitting to put on the sheer tights and shoes. A last look in the mirror, check my handbag's contents, before slipping on the one bit of Zak in Trix's wardrobe, my, his, her denim jacket. Watch out Chessy, the Askwith girls are about to hit town!
Of course, Friday night in a town whose nearest neighbours are dead pit villages and upland villages that often don't even host a pub, is always going to be busy with revellers. Its not that the venues are great, the entertainment top line but when the alternative is the idiot box or karaoke at the Dog & Duck, going out to Chessy town centre is as good as it gets. Indeed Janey had forgotten just how busy it can get when she'd suggested their meeting place.
Women from teens to pensioners and everywhere in between were stood alone or in small groups waiting for their friends to join them, a sea of teased hair, barely decent clothing and teetering heels – that was just the granny's, covered the pedestrianised street in front of M&S. Janey made her way through the crowds towards the parish church, the direction that her sister, yes, she did actually think of Trixie as her sister, would be approaching the melee.
"Hey Janey, wasn't expecting to see you tonight.”
"Oh hi Ames, thought you were working tonight?”
"Managed to convince Dad they didn't need me, thought you'd be out with Rory?”
"Tell me about it, I tell you, that man scores zero on girlfriend satisfaction.”
"But eleven on bedroom activities!” Amy enthused, as BFF's they'd had this conversation many a time. "So you looking for a substitute?”
"Maybe, so what're you doing, no Steve?”
"Later, Sian's coming for drinky poos before we meet the lads, what about you?”
"Food and a drink with one of the girls from work.”
"Hey, we should make a foursome.”
"I dunno,”Janey hedged, Amy and Sian both know Zak, how could they not having been through school together.
"Go on, it'll be fun, maybe we'll forget meeting the lads eh?” Amy prattled on.
"Its up to Trix, I think she wanted a quiet evening.”
"She'll be up for it,” Amy proclaimed.
Trixie was rueing her choice of footwear by the time she reached the church, four inch heels were not designed for walking up hills, even little ones. And there, across the graveyard was her sister.
"Janey!”
Askwith, J looked about for the caller, expecting to see some form of Goth Princess, instead of which all she could see was another Friday girl tottering across the flags in silly heels.
"That your friend?” Amy asked.
"I don't,” Janey started before looking at the approaching figure again, no it couldn't be, could it?
"Janey! Sorry I'm late, its these heels.”
"Trix? I didn't recognise you.”
"Well dur, I don't have to wear black you know.”
"Hey Trix, I was just saying to Janey, you guys should make a foursome with me and Sian.”
At that moment Sian joined the gathering.
"Hi guys!”
In his, her enthusiasm to reach Janey, Zak hadn't spotted that Amy was with his sister, and when he did spot his sisters BFF it was too late, theyd seen him. Of all the people it had to be her and then when Sian arrived a moment later, the colour drained from behind his makeup.
"Trix, this is Amy and Sian,” Janey supplied, trying to telegraph an apology with her eyes, "Guys, this is Trixie.”
"Like the hair Trixie,” Sian offered.
"Er thanks.”
"So we going for drinks?” Sian proposed.
"We were going to get some food,” Janey told her friends who so far hadn't spotted the true identity of the girl with panic in her eyes.
"We're in for that,” Amy grinned.
"Yeah, lay a bed for the booze,” Sian added.
"Trix?” Janey queried, offering her sibling a last ditch chance of escape.
"Er sure,” her brother squeaked back.
Of course when the foursome reached the Hardwick, a small establishment in the 'Lanes', it was already heaving with evening revellers so rather than add to their number, Amy led them to the Pavements and the still crowded but more spacious, Cavendish Arms. Chivalry might be nigh on dead but the combined girl force of four pretty young women acquired a table, Sian and Amy volunteering to get the first round whilst the sisters looked after the table – not that they knew of that relationship of course.
"What did you invite Amy for, she sort of knows Zak,” I hissed through the din.
"I didn't, she was supposed to be working,” Janey supplied, "And I did give you an out.”
"Hmmph!”
"She hasn't recognised you has she?”
"Yet,” I grumbled back.
"Not that I don't approve, but what's with the outfit?”
"I er just fancied a change from black.”
"Welcome to the light side Trixiebell Heartswoon,” Janey stated in possibly the worst Darth Vader impersonation ever.
The others returned at that point bearing alcohol and menus.
"Ring you tomorrow Janes,” Amy pronounced, "Nice meeting you Trix.”
"And you guys,” I sweetly replied as my sister did the farewell hug thing with her bestie.
Somehow we got through three drinks and food without any query as to my identity, the main topic of conversation being boyfriends, their prowess, or rather lack of in that role. Of course, Zak knows all the protagonists but as Trixie the only one I'm supposed to have met is Rory so my part in the conversation was quite limited.
"That wasn't so bad,” Janey suggested as Amy and Sian ottered off to meet their beaus down at Turnups.
"Pretty sure Ames smelt a rat,” I told her, "She kept giving me odd looks.”
"She was checking out your pierces, you might not be wearing full Goth black but all the holes do make you stand out from the crowd.”
"You sure?”
"Pink hair, face full of sparkles, you is exotic on legs bro, so where now?”
"The Star?”
"Lets go then Miss Heartswoon.”
The Star is really just a pub with a disco on Fridays and Saturdays but being a bit further from the rest of the 'venues', by about ten it quietens down so if crowds aren't your thing its a good choice. Add in the music isn't all Gaga and Kylie and there's no cover charge for girls and its got a lot going for it.
"ID's please ladies,” the lard mountain that is Micky Burke, the Star's bouncer cum doorman requested.
"Micky,” Janey whined, "We went to school together.”
Well attended the same buildings would be more accurate, Micky is not the brightest academically so the Askwith 'twins' only ever shared phys ed with the door guardian.
"I still have to check and I don't know your friend.”
"Whatever,” Janey sighed fishing for her driving licence.
Sugar, somehow over the last weeks posing as Trixie i've escaped needing ID and whilst the image on my own licence is a bit ambiguous, it still gives my real full name. I made a thing of searching my own bag.
"I can't find mine.”
"Let me have a look,” Janey requested after Mick glanced at her card.
"I think I left it in my other bag.”
My sister still took my bag and started looking through the contents.
"Ta da!” she suddenly announced and flourished the card at Mick.
"You two related?” brain of Britain asked.
"Cousins,” Janey supplied barely giving Mick a chance to look at the licence.
"Go on then,” he allowed, stepping aside to facilitate our entry.
"What happened back there,” I queried as we joined the throng at the bar, "He must have seen my name.”
"I gave him mine again,” she giggled.
"You sly moo,” I grinned back.
"Well Mick's hardly the sharpest knife is he, he saw what he wanted, a licence out of your bag, it said girl and it said you were over eighteen.”
"How did you think of that?”
"Well duh, we used to do it all the time to get into places, I think the record was four of us on Jasmine's licence.”
Devious or what.
I've never been a heavy drinker, a few pints with the lads but my sister and her clique drink on a different level. Oh they can act all ladylike when they want but tales of shot contests and the grim aftermath have been regular causes of parental friction over the years. After the first round in The Star I switched to cola, well I'm working in the morning and someone has to get Janey home safely.
We danced a bit, talked a bit, got hit on by a couple of Lotharios and a girl batting for the other team made a play for me, that had Janey in hysterics. All in all, pretty standard stuff for a girls Friday night out in Chessy. By half eleven my feet were killing me and Janey was slurring her words, time to call it a night.
Being comparatively early still we didn't wait long for a taxi which is just as well as it was freezing and neither of us were exactly dressed for the cold. Its not far out to Fort Askwith, a ten minute drive at this hour.
"Mum knows.” Janey suddenly blurted as we turned into our road.
"Knows what?” okay, I'm not sparking that well either.
"Trixie,” she offered.
"What about Trixie Janey?”
"Stuff, here,” she thrust a tenner into my hand, "Taxi.”
by now we were stopped outside the house and Janey was fighting the door handle.
"What stuff?”
"Ever'thing, good night Trix, see you tomorrow.”
And with that she finally got the door open and launched herself at the house.
"She gonna be alright?” our driver asked.
"Yeah, looks like mum's still up,” and indeed the front door opened as the unsteady figure reached it.
"So, where to luv?”
"Er, the Travelodge please.”
I mused on Janeys departing words as we headed back across town to the hotel, what was all that about mum knowing about Trixie? Of course she knows about me, we have met Janey. Geez sis, you really need to get a grip on the drinking, you don't half come out with some cods' when you've had a few.
© Maddy Bell 01.05.2020