Father Just Doesn't Get It
by Barbara Lynn Terry
"You look like a damned sissy with that hair. When are you going to get it cut?"
"Daddy, you have been yelling at me for two years to get my hair cut. There are a lot of boys that have long hair now. Long hair isn't just for girls anymore. Besides, I keep it clean and groomed. So, may I ask just what it is that really bothers you about long hair on a boy?"
"Because it isn't natural for a boy to have long hair. In my day, if a boy had long hair he would have been forced to get it cut. Another thing too. Boys don't call their fathers daddy. Only girls do that. Are you getting your hair cut, or not?"
"Not. Daddy, first of all, I am not you and I can't live your life. Second, I am an individual, and I have a right to have long hair as long as it is clean and groomed. Short hair looks good on you, daddy, but for me, it's the style worn by all of the boys practically. There are a few who are forced to get their hair cut, but if you force me, I will leave this house and never come back."
"You don't mean that."
"Oh, I mean that. Third, this isn't your day, it is mine and my generation's day. You need to realize that. Just because you went in the service, doesn't mean I have to. I can get a 4-F classification for just being a conscientious objector."
"A what! You wouldn't dare!"
"Why because you're so gung-ho about guys being tough and swearing, spitting, farting, fighting, drinking, and running around on their wives, fiancées, and girlfriends? Is that your idea of what a man is? Well if it is, just remember that there are a lot of guys in jail because they do most if not all those things. Daddy, I am only fourteen and I know more about being social than you do. All you do is go to work, come home, read your paper, eat dinner, and lock yourself in your den. You aren't a father, you're just a boarder that lives here. Mom and I have talked a lot about your attitude towards me, and she even said that I have a right to have long hair."
"How dare you talk to me like this. I'm your father, and quit calling me daddy."
"You started this conversation. All I am telling you is that you need to chill a bit. As far as calling you daddy, what is so wrong with that? Tell me something daddy, why are you such an insufferable boor?"
"Insufferable what? Where did you hear that from?"
"I've heard mother say that to you dozens of times. But she is right because that is exactly what you are. This is not a jail, and you are not the warden. But I have a question for you. Would you rather I have the long hair as a boy, or as a girl? It is up to you, and I will honor what you say."
"You wouldn't dress like a girl. Would you?"
"Yes daddy, I would. If it is your opinion that only girls have long hair, and I am keeping my long hair, then I will be your daughter. I will only defy you in getting my hair cut. Other than that, daddy, tell me how you want me to live."
"Well, I just thought that maybe by calling you a sissy, you would jump at getting it cut. But you do look like a sissy though."
"Alright daddy, you have said it in so many words. Mom should be home shortly and I will talk to her about what we talked about, and see what she thinks. So, please make up my mind, and tell me who you want me to be; your son, or your daughter."
"Get out of here! I don't even want to look at you with that long hair."
"Okie dokie, daddy," I said smiling to myself as I walked to the kitchen to wait for mom to get home. Mom was young looking for thirty four, in fact, she looked like she was actually sixteen. Her hair was always styled the way girls my age had it styled.
About ten minutes later she came in through the kitchen door. She saw me sitting there and asked if anything was wrong.
"Mom, daddy and I had a really argumentative talk while you were gone. He keeps calling me a sissy because of my long hair. So I gave him an ultimatum. I told him that I would only defy him because I am not getting my hair cut. So I said that he had a choice. He could either have me as his son, or his daughter. I told him I will honor what he said. The last thing he said to me, before I came in here was that I looked like a sissy.
"Mom, would it be alright if we showed daddy, how beautiful of a girl I can really be?"
"Like what, dress you up, with a little makeup?"
"Yes. Just so he can make the choice. I either live in skirts and dresses, or he gets off of my back and I live as his son. But he is the one who keeps calling me that nasty name. I keep my hair clean and groomed, and most boys today have long hair. But I need to do this, so he can see the difference, and also he said that only girls call their fathers daddy. So can we get me dressed like a girl, and let him choose how he wants me?"
"Well, you know I have often wondered what it would be like to set your hair. If it were up to me, you would have been in skirts a long time ago. But yes, sweetie, we can dress you up and let your father choose who he wants, a son or a daughter."
We went up the kitchen stairs to my room. She said she would be gone just a few minutes, then she would be back. I sat on my bed, and waited. She came back with an armload of clothes. She told me to go my bathroom and take a good shower, and handed me a pink Schick Quatro For Women. This razor had four blades, and she told to just glide is across my legs, and I was to also shave my underarms. She said not to use a whole lot of gel because it lathers up. So I started my journey into girlhood, by shaving my legs, and my underarms. At five foot, one inch, I was shorter than most boys my age, so daddy is going to get his wish. After washing and rinsing, and washing my hair twice and conditioning it twice, I wrapped the towel around me like I had seen women do on tv, then took another towel and wrapped it around my head turban style.
The first piece of clothing mom wanted me to get used to, was the bra. She showed me how to place my fingers so that all I had to do was slide the hooks in to the eyelets. After a few times, I finally got the hang of it. Next came a pair of pink nylon, lace panties. Then she handed me a half slip, and I stepped into that. Then she said to sit on the bed, and put my stockings on. She showed me how to roll them down to the toe. Then she said to curve my toes, and slide the stocking over my foot. Instead of getting up, I stretched my leg outward and just slid the stocking up my leg. I had seen this on tv too. I told mom about that.
She had me just sit there, and she started to tweeze my eyebrows. When that was done, she started putting light brown eyeshadow on my upper lids, then she told me to get in to my dress.
"My dress, mother?"
"Yes, dear, I'm givng you this dress to keep, as well as the underthings you have on. Now get in to your dress, dear, and I will put a little mascara on those lashes. You have very beautiful lashes you know. Any girl would love to have them."
When she was done, she handed me a nice pair of black slingbacks with a two inch heel. When the shoes were on, she had me stand up, and I almost lost my balance.
"Honey, look at yourself in the mirror."
I smiled as I saw a young girl in a powder blue dress, nice long hair, and a pair of sexy black slingbacks, looking back at me. I turned this way and that to see myself from all angles.
"Mom, I think we're ready to go and give daddy the shock of his life."
We went back down the kitchen stairs, and we were just sitting in the kitchen, talking, when daddy came in to get another beer. He must have seen me, because he looked right at us. After he went back in the living room, we got up and went by him. I stood in front of him, with my hands folded behind me.
"Ehem." He looked up from his paper, and went right back to reading it.
"Ehem."
"Yes, young lady. Nora, who is this child?" He didn't even recognize me, which shows how many times he actaully looked at me.
"Her name is Joanne, and she is your daughter."
"I don't have a daughter, just a son. This is Jimmy?"
"No Steve, this is Joanne, and she is your daughter. This is what she looks like. Now you have a choice, do you want your son, or do want this charming girl for your daughter?"
"What do you think I should do, Nora?"
"Oh no you don't, mister. You started this by calling your son a sissy. Does this look anything like a sissy to you, Steve?"
"Well, I must admit that she does look very pretty. But, is this what you both want?"
"Daddy, this decision is totally up to you. You have called me a sissy for the last time. Do you want me like this, as your daughter, or do you want me as Jimmy, your son? Mom has already told me what she thinks."
"Are you getting your hair cut, if I want Jimmy instead of what's-her-name?"
"Joanne," mom and I said in unison.
"No daddy, we already talked about that."
"Then you stay as Jo whatever."
"Joanne," mom and I said it again.
"That's all I needed to hear, dear. You now have a very beautiful daughter, and I will lay down the ground rules for her. Come Joanne, let's leave your father to his paper."
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This story was meant to be a short-short story of a father getting poetic justice. There is nothing more I can write here after this ending, or it will spoil the premise of the whole story. Thank you for reading. Barbara.
Father Just Doesn't Get It - Part II
by Barbara Lynn Terry
"Are you getting your hair cut, if I want Jimmy instead of what's-her-name?"
"Joanne," mom and I said in unison.
"No daddy, we already talked about that."
"Then you stay as Jo whatever."
"Joanne," mom and I said it again.
"That's all I needed to hear, dear. You now have a very beautiful daughter, and I will lay down the ground rules for her. Come Joanne, let's leave your father to his paper."
We went in the kitchen, because mother was going to tell me the ground rules for girls. Daddy really stuck his foot in his mouth this time. I really had to giggle though, because I wondered what the kids at school would think of me in dresses. Well that was for September anyway and this was almost the end of June.
"Now Joanne, your father has already said he wants you to stay as Joanne, as long as you refuse to get your hair cut. For me, I think you look good in long hair as a boy or as a girl. Besides people have the right to live as they see fit. Now, young lady, since your father wants you as his daughter, you are a girl in this house, and you will share the household duties with me. I will teach you how to cook meals like we have for dinner. Breakfast you already know how and lunch is simple. But this is summer, and there are a lot of things you can no longer do as Joanne that you did as Jimmy. "You cannot go out after dark, without me, your father, or both of us. Or even a boyfriend later on. Right now you are a fourteen year old girl, and the dangers are more so for us than they are a man. Honey, you can get out of this right now, if you get your hair cut."
"No mother, if it means living as Joanne because I have long hair, then I will be Joanne."
"I thought as much, but I had to ask. Now, I will not mince words here. I have always wanted a daughter, but when you were born those hopes were dashed, because I cannot have any more children. That is why it was so important for me to be in your corner. Also, a girl sits up straight, shoulders back, and either you cross your ankles right over left, or cross your legs left over right. When you cross your legs, make sure your dress or skirt is pulled down as far to your knees as possible.
"I am going to teach you how to apply makeup, how to do your hair, and how to moisturize your skin. I have a face lift pack in my room, I will show you how to use it. When you put these clothes on, the only real thing I had to help you with, was hooking the bra behind you. But you did it only after a few tries. When a girl or a woman eats, we just don't take large bites like we're starving to death. We take small bites, and we bite with our teeth. Your father seems to use his whole mouth." I giggled. "You have a curfew now too. If you are out with friends, either they have to drive you home, or you have to call home and either your father or I will pick you up. There will be no more walking home after dark for you. You must be in this house no later than nine o'clock on a week night, and no later than eleven o'clock on Friday and Saturday nights. Unless of course, you are at a sleepover with your friends. Then your curfew is for the house you are staying at, and you must obey them.
"If your father wants you to get him a beer from the fridge, just tell him that you can't because I told you not to. Simply put, you are too young to even handle beer, or any other type of alcohol, unless it is rubbing alcohol we keep in the medicine cabinet. Except for the talk every mother gives her daughter, there is one more thing I want you to do. From now on, your bed will be made before you come down for breakfast, and the clothes you are wearing will be neatly folded on the back of your chair, or hung up in your closet. Your shoes can be on the floor neatly, by the foot of your bed. Your father leaves for work at six in the morning, and I will make his breakfast. Do you have any questions?"
"Just that how long do you think daddy will last seeing me everyday as Joanne?"
"That is a very good question, and the answer is, we will just have to wait and see. Tomorrow I will take you shopping, and we will get you your own wardrobe. Now you have a choice. Do you want me to pack your boy clothes away, so that maybe you can wear them later? Or, do you want me to give them to the second hand store?"
"Give them to the second hand store. Mom, will Dr. Granger let me take hormones?"
She was smiling as she looked at me. "Honey, we will go to Dr. Granger and let her give you a physical examination, and then if everything is alright, she will ask you a lot of question without me being in the room. There is nothing to be afraid of, dear, she asks every girl these questions. You know Joanne, if you would have come to me when your father first started calling you a sissy, we could have done a lot in these two years. Let me ask you this. If you could right now, have an operation to make you physically female, would you want to do that?"
"I don't really know, mother. I mean, on the one hand I want to say yes, but on the other, I want to wait to see what happens with daddy."
"Well at least that is an honest answer. Now young lady, let's get dinner started. There is an apron over there by the pantry door. Put it on, so you don't get your dress soiled. Now go in the pantry and bring me out a two pound bag of spaghetti. I will get the water started."
She put the water in a tall kettle, and then after turning on the stove, she came and helped me get the things for making Italian spaghetti. Since I knew what she was making, I got out the Italian sausage balls, and the ground beef for making meatballs. The next thing was the spices she used, and as the water boiled, she put in the spaghetti noodles. Seven minutes later they were done, and mom had the meatballs already. I watched her how she did them, so I could do them next time.
"Honey, did you see how I did the meatballs?"
"Yes, mom."
"Good. Would you like to make the meatballs next time?"
"I would love that."
"You never did talk much like a guy. You talk like you are a girl. Your voice is in the alto range, and your giggle is high pitched too. Are you sure you never thought about being a girl before this?"
"Mom, there are thoughts in my head all the time, about what would I look like, if I was a girl. I don't know, mom, I can't really describe my feelings. When I said you could give my boy clothes to the second hand store, I was thinking how nice it would be to stay Joanne, and wondered what my friends would say when they saw me in a dress. Mom, I'm not confused, I just don't know where these feelings are coming from, and it isn't because of the clothes I am wearing. I have had thoughts like this for a long time."
"Is that why you were so willing to dress as a girl?"
"Partly, but I really wanted to get back at daddy for his abuse. I feel that he will break sooner than later when he sees me everyday. I am not going to back down from him. I have taken his abuse for the last time. But these feelings, mom. Where are they coming from, and what do they mean?"
"Honey, if I make an appointment for you to see a therapist, will see who I make the appointment for?"
"Yes, mother, I will."
"Good girl. Now call your father in for dinner."
I went in the living room, and stood in front of him, again. "Daddy, mom says that dinner is ready."
"Thank you, uhm, who are you?"
I didn't say a word, but went back to the kitchen to help mom bring the food to the dining room. I told her what daddy had said, and she just said she will take care of it. After daddy said grace, we all sat down.
"Nora, who is this girl?"
"You don't recognize her, Steve?"
"No, can't say as I do."
"Does the name Joanne ring any bells?"
"Is she Jimmy's friend?"
What was it they said about people in self denial? Daddy either didn't know who I was, or he was doing a good job of acting.
"No Steve, she is not Jimmy's friend."
"Then what is she doing here?"
"She is your daughter, Steve."
"I don't have a daughter, and where is Jimmy."
"Jimmy turned into Joanne."
"This is Jimmy?"
"No Steve, this is Joanne and she is your daughter."
"I should have known that sissy wouldn't..."
"There will be none of that Steven Adkins. You said if she didn't get her hair cut, she would remain Joanne until she did. Well mister, she told me in no uncertain terms that she is not getting her hair cut. This is your daughter and her name is Joanne. This was your choice, and I will not have you belittling her because you have a preconceived notion of what a man is or looks like. If you want to bully someone go down to the tavern and bully your friends. Oh! By the way, Steve, Joanne said she is going to need a girl's gym set for school."
It was a good thing that daddy wasn't trying to swallow his spaghetti or he would have spit it up.
"Girl's gym set for school? You don't mean to tell me that sis..."
"Stop it, Steven! Stop calling your daughter that filthy name. I have an idea. Why don't you sleep on the couch for a few nights, and see if you like it."
"I'm not sleeping on any couch. I run this house, and I will do and say what I want."
"Would you like a divorce, Steven? Well, you won't get one. And another thing too. You do not run this house. The bills are in my name, as is the lease. I make a wonderful living doing what I do, and your pitiful income seems to be spent at the bar, or on your newspaper, or whatever it is you do in your den. But there is one thing you are going to be forced to do. You will have to look at your daughter everyday, until you change your mind about long hair."
"Ha! That will never happen."
"Well, since you seem to think that only girls have long hair, then you have a daughter. I think I will see an attorney and have her name permanently changed to Joanne Adkins."
"You wouldn't dare. You're supposed to be on my side."
"And do what? Belittle our only child because you're a bigot? Is that why I am supposed to be on your side?"
"I am not a bigot, I am just looking at things realistically."
"If you were, you would allow your son to have his hair long without calling him names. But since you can't do that, then she will remain your daughter. There is one other thing too, Steven. Joanne has asked me to take her to see Dr. Granger and have her prescribe female hormones, so Joanne can mature like a girl."
"What!? You're not serious!" I spoke up at that point.
"Daddy, I am very serious. I have taken your abuse for the last time. Tell me something, daddy. Do you think it takes a real man to wear a dress?" He blew his top.
"You damned sissy, I have had it with you. You're going to get the beating of your life."
"You lay one hand on her, and I will have you aressted for trying to kill your only child. Whether that is what you are thinking or not. You want to play nasty, Steven, I can play even nastier if I have to." Way to go, mom!
"You mean to tell me, that you approve of this?"
"Yes, I do. Joanne is a beautiful girl, and she deserves our respect for who she is. I won't lie to you, I have always wanted a daughter, and your words has made that possible."
"My words? How the hell did my words make you having a daughter, possible?"
"You said so yourself, not more than three hours ago. You said if Joanne didn't get her hair cut, then she remains Jo whatever, and we said Joanne together. Apparently you didn't get it."
"You know what you both need, a good solid beating."
"Is that so? Come Joanne, your father apparently feels a little on the ill side."
"I am not ill. Where are you going? I'm not through talking to either of you yet."
Mom and I went out the back door, to our neighbors house and called the police. Daddy was out of control threatening to kill us, she told the police on the phone. It wasn't long and the police came to our neighbor's house and talked with us. Mom told the officer that daddy was out of control threatening to kill me and her for supporting me. The officer asked if he used a weapon in his threat, and mom said he was waving his pointed can opener at us saying he was going to slash our throats. The officer asked if there was a back way into the house, and we took them through the back door. Mom went to the stove, pretending to look at something, when daddy came toward the kitchen, with guess what. His church key.
"I see you in there. Now I'm going to kill you, and that sissy of a son too."
As he entered the kitchen, both officers had him on the floor and in handcuffs. The church key they put in a plastic bag that said evidence.
"Sir, you are under arrest for attempted murder, two counts. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say now, can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney during questioning, and if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you by the judge. Do you understand these rights I have just read to you?"
"Rights for what. I haven't done anything."
"Okay, but do you understand the rights I just read to you?"
"Yes."
"Good, let's go." They took daddy outside where a police van was waiting. they put daddy in the police van, and the van drove off. The officers came back to the house. "Here is a show order, to meet us in the district attorney's office at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon. He will be formally charged with attempted murder, and he will be in the county jail, unless someone can make his bail."
"Don't look at me. He can rot in that jail as far as I am concerned. We will be there tomorrow. Thank you, officers." They both tipped their hats, and they left.
I guess he finally broke, but not the way I wanted to see it happen though. I guess father just doesn't get it. Sigh.
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I realize this is another short chapter, but if you want to read more about Joanne's journey
into girlhood, please say so in your comments. Thank you for reading. Barbara
Father Just Doesn't Get It - Part III
by Barbara Lynn Terry
Previously:
"Rights for what. I haven't done anything."
"Okay, but do you understand the rights I just read to you?"
"Yes."
"Good, let's go." They took daddy outside where a police van was waiting. they put daddy in the police van, and the van drove off. The officers came back to the house. "Here is a show order, to meet us in the district attorney's office at two o'clock tomorrow afternoon. He will be formally charged with attempted murder, and he will be in the county jail, unless someone can make his bail."
"Don't look at me. He can rot in that jail as far as I am concerned. We will be there tomorrow. Thank you, officers."
They both tipped their hats, and they left.
I guess he finally broke, but not the way I wanted to see it happen though. I guess father just doesn't get it. Sigh.
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Chapter I - Father is charged with a crime.
That night I slept fitfully. I dreamed that daddy was coming at mom and me with a knife, and was going to kill us. Only our faster speed over his enebriated brain saved us. As I kept dreaming the same scene over and over, I heard a far away voice calling my name. As I started to open my eyes, I heard mother calling me.
"Honey, time to get up, sweetie. I let you sleep in as much as I could. We have to be at the district attorney's office at two, and it is going on eleven now. Are you going as Jimmy or as Joanne?"
"Joanne, mom. Mom? I want to be Joanne forever."
"Honey, you can be whomever you want to be. Everybody has that right, no matter where they live, or what body they have. Remember when I said that 'if it were up to me, I would have had you in skirts a long time ago'?"
"Yes."
"Well I didn't mean that in a bad way. Ever since you were very little you always argued with your girl cousins about which doll you wanted to play with, and then you even snuck in their rooms a few times that I know of, and was wearing their dresses. Joanne, honey, you have been more of a girl than you know for a long time. I am very happy you are going to stay Joanne, because I have always wanted a daughter.
"You standing up to your father the way you did, showed me just how much of a girl you really are. When you were telling him off, so to speak, you were using feminine hand gestures as well as inflecting some of your words the way a girl would do. I have my pretty daughter now, and we are going to have so much fun. When we get back from the district attorney's office I want you to try on a few of my dresses and skirts to see if they will fit you. Would that be alright?"
"Yes, mother, it would be more than alright. If we can wear the same sizes, then we can share clothes."
"You know what else I was thinking about too? I was thinking that maybe this weekend we could go to a spa and get pampered. We would get waxed, massaged, our hair and nails done, and then go out and have a nice dinner. What do you think?"
"I would love to be pampered."
"Spoken like a true girl." She rubbed her nose with mine, and made a wrinkly face. Mom's the greatest. "Okay, you go and get your bath, and I will find something for you to wear."
I went in the bathroom, and ran my bath water, putting in some lavender scent bubble bath. I had time for a bubble bath, because we didn't have to be there until two o'clock, and it wasn't even eleven yet. I sat in the tub thinking about what mom had said. She knew about me wearing Kathy's and Carla's dresses when I was little? I couldn't believe she never said a word about that. I know I said I want to stay as Joanne, but the thought of having surgery of any kind scares me though. Well, whomever mom makes an appointment for me with, will probably clear that up. I am hoping. I washed all over and then got out of the tub after rinsing off the errant suds that just stick to you like glue. I dried off, and went to my room to get dressed.
I got into my panties while I was still wearing the towel. Then with them in place, I put on the half slip with lace hem, and then the bra. After the first few times, I remembered what mom had showed me, was to put my fingers on one hand by the hooks, and the fingers on the other hand by the eyelets, and then slide the hooks in. It was simple once you mastered the technique. I put on my stockings, by rolling them up my legs evenly. I ran my hand over them to make sure they were smooth and firm, but not tight. I didn't have to attach these to garters, because they had elastic tops. I then put my off white blouse on, as it was made to be tucked in to the skirt. I then put on the navy blue skirt, tucking the blouse in as I pulled the skirt up. I then stepped in to a pair of mom's off white, two inch heeled pumps. Well mother, whether you know it or not, we wear the same size. At least for now. Making sure everything was in place, and proper, I went downstairs.
"You look very pretty, honey. I am glad I put that outfit out for you. Now, come over here, I want to put a little mascara on your eyes. You won't need anything else while we are at the district attorney's office. Later on, you may want to put a little lip gloss on." Mom's the greatest because she wants me to be happy. And I am, really.
"Mom, will daddy be in the district attorney's office with us?"
"I don't know, sweetie. But if he is, he will have the police there to make sure he doesn't do anything to either of us. All I am going to do is sign the complaint against him, and that should keep him in jail for a long time. Don't you worry none, we will be safe, the police and the district attorney will make sure of that. Now, what would you like for breakfast or lunch, or both?"
"I just want a slice of jelly toast and milk. I'm not too hungry."
"Are you nervous, sweetie?"
"Yes, and scared too. I...if daddy is there, I want to sit as far away from him as I can."
"I can understand that. Rinse your saucer off, and let's get going. I want to stop at one store on the way."
"What store, mom?"
"You'll see. It's a surprise."
"Okay, I'm ready"
We got our purses, and we went out to the car. After making sure I was buckled in, mom started the car, and drove us to the mall. We went to the second level, and right to the piercing pagoda.
"Mom, what are we doing here?" I asked, a little excited.
"May I help you?" A young woman said. She had suds from the hoops she was wearing to the top of each ear lobe.
"Yes, my daughter wants to get her ears piereced."
"Very well, I'm Vickie. Will you come right this way, please?"
I sat on a high stool, and she took this thing that looked like a giant stapler, and put in the studs we had picked out. Mom had picked my birthstone for August, and I heard a pip, then another one.
"There, all done. Here is your ear care kit. It has a solution in there for cleaning your ear lobes. These studs have to stay in for at least six weeks. That gives the ear lobes time to heal. Will there be anything else?" Mom gave her a set of silver hoops, and then paid for them. The piercing was free because mom bought the hoops and the studs.
"Now, let's see what your father says about this." We both giggled. "I love your studs honey. but make sure you clean them every day. I will show you how, when we get home. Let's go keep your father in jail."
Mom drove us to the courthouse, and we went to the second floor. She showed the lady the show order, and we were told to have a seat, Mrs. Rogers would with us as soon as the officer showed up. We sat down for like five minutes, before one of the officers that arrested daddy came in. He signed something on a clip board, and then came over by us.
"Mrs. Adkins, your husband says you want your son raised as a girl, and that he didn't mean anything by his threat. He said that it was just in a manner of speaking. Now what me and my partner saw was a man coming at you with a weapon in his hand saying he was going to kill the both of you. He is being formally charged with two counts of attempted murder today, based on what we saw and heard at your house. Do you still want to go through with this?"
"Yes."
"The ADA today is Carole Rogers, and she is a bear. Your husband will be in the room while he is being charged, but he will be handcuffed and shackled and sitting in the corner of the room away from the both of you. Now, for what it's worth, Mrs. Adkins, your daughter does look beautiful, and doesn't seem to be objecting to anything."
"Because I'm scared sir. My father is a mean person, and if things don't go his way he starts making threats waving something around. When you arrested him, it was the first time he ever moved toward any one of us with a weapon in his hand. He scares me."
"Well young lady, you have nothing to worry about. He is in jail, and he is going to stay there."
Just then a lady with light auburn hair, sky blue eyes, and what seemed like a forced smile, came out and greeted us.
"Hello everybody, I'm ADA Carole Rogers. I will be prosecuting your husband for brandishing a weapon saying he was going to kill you and your child. In this state that is attempted murder and is punishable if convicted, by a sentence of twenty five years to life imprisonment. In other words he would have to do twenty five years before he could even be considered to be out on parole. Let's go in my office, and we can discuss this further." We went in her office, which was small. I started getting scared, and I think it showed. "Is there something wrong young lady?"
"This is really small. He...he...he can't get....to...us...can...can...he?"
"No honey. See that chair right there. He will be brought in through that door, and shackled to that chair. It is bolted to the floor, so he can't move it. There is nothing to be afraid of. The police and I will make sure of that. Now there are a few other things I need to go over before we bring him in.
"First of all, I understand you are actually a male, dressing as a female. Did anyone put you up to this, or force you to do this?"
"No ma'am." I went on to tell her everything that happened. About father calling me a sissy because of my long hair, and telling me I should be a girl if I am going to have long hair. I told her how mother had stood up for me, and it was father's wish I remain as Joanne if I didn't get my hair cut.
"Alright, that explains a lot. I was told he was saying your mother was forcing you. Since you explained the way you did, I can see that it wasn't rehearsed. Alright then, I have just one more thing, and that is for you to sign the complaint. Officer bring in the defendant." When daddy came in the room, Mrs. Rogers looked at him very sternly.
"Sir, you are being formally charged with two counts of attempted murder, to-wit: That on the 20th day of June, you did approach Mrs. Nora Adkins while she was in her kitchen, threatening to kill her and your only child. You were waving a can/bottle opener, with the pointed end towards Mrs. Adkins."
"I was in such a rage, I really didn't even know what I was doing. I drink quite a bit and I get angry when I'm drinking. I really didn't mean anything by what I said at my house.
"Sir, you cannot use alcohol as a defense here, because as I understand it, you have been calling your child a sissy because he wouldn't get his hair cut. Then I am told they gave you an ultimatum. You either accept your child as a son or as a daughter. You said that your child remains your daughter if she wouldn't get her hair cut. Does that sum up pretty much how things went, sir?"
"Yeah, it does. Good riddance to the damn sissy."
"Sir, your tone is just a little on the nasty side for me. Now, Mrs. Adkins, please read this complaint and sign it if it is correct. If it isn't correct, let us know what needs to be deleted or added."
Mom read the complaint, and she showed no emotion as she took the pen and signed her name to it.
"Thank you, Mrs. Adkins. Will you get your husband a lawyer, or does he need one appointed?"
"Let him have an appointed one. I am going right from here to an attorney's office and file for divorce. He has picked on our child long enough with his abuse and threats. No, I won't be getting him an attorney, and he doesn't have access to my bank account either. We never had a joint account."
"Nora, please, please get me a good attorney."
"Not on your life, buster. You put yourself here, and whatever you get won't be good enough. If it were up to me, I'd chain your sorry ass in the basement and feed you peanut butter and jelly bread with water. You are a miserable man, Steven Adkins. When I file for divorce I am asking for my maiden name back, and that Joanne's be the same as mine. You brought this on yourself. Will that be all, Mrs. Rogers?"
"Yes, we will let you know when you have to come to court. The sheriff will serve you with subpoenas to come and testify.
"Nora, please get me..." That was all we heard from daddy as mom had closed the door to Mrs. Rogers office. Daddy will be in jail until whenever. I hope he can't get out too soon.
Mom was going to take me shopping, but she said getting the divorce papers right away was important. I guess mom had had enough of daddy's abuse too. Mom said that because he had threatened to kill us with a weapon, she would ask that he not have any visiting privileges with me. I said I didn't want to visit with him anyway.
"Good girl. Now, when we go in the attorney's office I am going to ask the attorney if we can get your name changed to Joanne. Would you like your last name to be my maiden name?"
"Yes, mother, I would."
"Did I ever tell you what my last name was before I got married to that jerk?"
"No."
"It's Cummings. So do you want to be known as Joanne Cummings?"
"Yes, mom, I do. I don't like the last name of that thing that dared to call himself my father. He is mean and he is dangerous. When you called the police, I was scared he would come next door and hurt us."
"Well, he can't hurt us any more now. So when we get to this attorney, I am going to tell him that you would like your name changed from Jimmy Adkins to Joanne Marie Cummings. That way, even if your father got out of jail, he wouldn't know where to find us. He never could remember my maiden name without looking at the marriage certificate. I have the only copy here, and I don't think they will let him have a copy if we are divorced. Especially if he was convicted for trying to kill us.
"And whether he intended to or not, he is being charged with that because of what the police saw. So he won't be able to get out of this." We got to the attorney's office, and we went right in. "Mrs. Nora Adkins to see Mr. Brown."
"Yes, ma'am. Just have a seat and he will be right with you." The receptionist was pretty with brown, shimmering hair. Her smile was contagious and she said her name was Darlene. We sat for a few minutes, then a very tall man came out of an office and told us to come in. When we got in his office his name plate said John Keenan Brown, Esq.
"What can I do for you, Mrs. Adkins?"
"Two things, if you can. First I would like to file for a divorce from my husband." Mom told him all that had happened, and where it was now in the court. "Then I would like you to file a petition on behalf of my son to change his name from James Adkins, a male minor, to Joanne Marie Cummings, a female minor. Also with the divorce I would like my maiden name of Cummings restored."
"I had another client that had her son's name changed to a girl's name, not too long ago. I will charge you one thousand dollars for both cases. The petition for your daughter isn't going to be too complicated, but the divorce can get messy. You say he is in jail waiting to be tried on felony attempted murder charges?"
"Yes."
"Might not be as messy, then. Alright, here is how I work. I will take a day to research and type up the papers, and then have you come back tomorrow and read them over, and sign them if they are correct. If they aren't correct, then tell me what needs to be corrected or added, and we will make the necessary corrections. All I need for the name change petition is the child's date of birth." Mom gave him my birth date, and then said we should come back the next day, after three in the afternoon.
We left the attorney's office and headed for the mall. Mom was taking my shopping to get me a whole new wardrobe. A girls wardrobe. Isn't being a girl fun?
When we got to the mall, mom had to park quite a ways from the entrance to the J.C. Penny store at the back of the building. The mall was very busy today because most of the stores were having sales. Since we were at J.C. Penny, we started there. We went right to the misses section, and found several dresses, skirts and blouses for me to try on.
The first dress has a powder blue top with an off white skirt that had a flower garden on it. It was very pretty. It had a scoop neckline, and a hidden side zipper. The skirt fanned out and the bodice hugged me like a kid glove. It came to about two inches above my knees. Mom put that in the bought pile. I tried on a skirt and top, and the top was very pretty. It had a gold cat in a basket with six kittens. It was really sweet. The skirt was just plain sky blue, and was an A-line. Everything I tried on came fashionably above my knees by at least two inches. Some were a little higher. The next skirt and top were very pretty too. The top had written across the breast, "I LOVE MY TEDDY BEAR", and it had a picture of a girl holding a small brown teddy bear. It was so cute. The skirt was another A-line in turquoise, and it matched the top. We got that too. After we had gotten a bundle, if you will, of clothes for me, mom said we should look for some bracelets and necklaces, and a few more earrings.
We left J.C. Penny and started walking through the mall. We were looking in the different stores as we went along. We came to a small jewelry store that was expensive. Mom told the man behind the counter what she was looking for, and he pulled out several cases of necklaces, braclets, and even a few siler and gold hoops.
Mom looked at them, then decided on one silver necklace and one gold one. She picked out several silver bangles and a few gold ones. The silver necklae she put around my neck. The man said it was very pretty on such a pretty girl. I blushed ten shades of red, pink and purple. If this is part of being a girl, I just love it. Mom said we needed to go to a few more stores, and she paid the man by writing out a check for the jewelry. This silver necklace alone was almost three hundred dollars. They had more there that were more expensive. But they had diamonds in them. This just had a small silver heart dangling from the chain.
The next store we went to was a ladies shoe store. They had everything in young styles, styles for mom, and styles for older ladies too. The young girl with blonde hair was behind the counter when we went in. She came around and asked if she could help us.
"Yes, my daughter needs a few pairs of shoes. She needs heels, skimmers, mules, sling backs. Let us see what you have."
"Yes, ma'am, I will be right back." She left for like five minutes and came back with a lot of shoe boxes on a cart. "Sit down, dear, and let's measure your foot." I sat down and put my foot on this metal thing that had two slides. One for the top of the foot and the other for the side of the foot. She said the top slide showed the size, and the side slide showed the width. "Well, you take a five narrow. You're very lucky that you have small feet. Alright, let's try on the selections I brought out.
The first pair was a black pair of pumps with a stiletto heel. Mom said no, so she set those aside. The next pair was an off-white, sort of cream color that had an ankle strap and two inch heels. After trying on several pair, mom decided on six pair, and each of them different for differentt hings. The Impalas mom bought me were just gorgeous. They were white with pink markings and an impala logo on the outside. The other five pair were for school, and for going to school dances or other nice functions where I would need to be dressed really nice. Mom paid the lady and we left the store. I was wondering why girls needed all these clothes, so I asked mother.
"Mom, why do girls need all different types of clothes?"
"Well sweetie, we like to have different lingerie for different outfits. Sometimes when a boy or a man asks us out, we go shopping again, because we feel that what we already have just won't do. So we shop for that perfect dress, get the lingerie to go with it, and the shoes, and even different stockings too. Then we have to look for the right jewelry to go with the outfit. So, the rule of being a female, dear, is that we never have enough clothes, shoes, lingerie, jewelry, purses or makeup. Besides women are shopping creatures and don't get me started on sales."
"Being a girl is certainly a lot of work."
"Yes, dear, it is. We have to look our best all the time, and then sometimes we just dress for ourselves too. A woman does like to feel pretty all the time even if it is just for herself. If she is married to a wonderful man, she likes to look pretty for him. Just remember to be as pretty as you can make yourself, and you will definitely reap the rewards. And Just because marriage didn't work out for me as I had hoped it would, dosen't mean it won't work out for you. You are only fourteen dear, and you have your whole life ahead of you. We are starting you out right with the hormones now. It is a good thing your male puberty is late, because now you can develop like a normal girl. We will see just what your therapist says.
Chapter II - Dr. Granger.
We got home and put my new clothes away. Mom started looking through the phone book to see what the number was for the psychiatric hotline, because they would know who to recommend. When she explained everything to the lady on the phone, mom said they gave her the number for a Lisa Dowling who is a psychotherapist. She said that this lady has more than one transgendered client, so mom said she would call her and make an appointment. I sat right there while she made the appointment.
"Yes, I understand. Alright, that was Friday at four thirty. Thank you." She hung up and looked at me and smiled. "When we go to see Lisa, she will want to talk to me first, and then she will talk to you. Whatever you say, she can't tell me unless you say it is okay. So this Friday you have your first appointment. I know everything is going to be just fine."
Since today is Wednesday, we had two days before I had to see Lisa. I hope she is nice. Anyway, mom also made an apointment with Dr. Granger for my physical for tomorrow. So today, we had a girls night in, where mother did my finger and toe nails, set my hair, and showed me how to use the different types of makeup. She explained what coverup was for, and foundation, and then she showed me how to apply the face powder in light even strokes using a small powder brush. She showed me how to use eyeliner, eyeshadow, mascara, lipstick, lip gloss, and lip liner. She had me practice and practice until she was satisfied that I could do it on my own. But she said too that she would be there to help if I forgot. She said using makeup was like anything else, practice makes perfect. Then we popped some popcorn, and we sat and watched The Princess Diaries. I had seen this movie several times, but I always enjoyed it everytime I saw it. We talked about fashion and mom was surprised that I knew quite a bit about women's clothes.
"Dear, you are a natural for a girl. Have you been dressing in my clothes, lately?"
"No mom, but I have been talking to the girls at school about what they were wearing, and they seem to count me as one of them. They weren't surprised when one of the girls came to school, not feeling very well, and said she had just started. The other girls were not embarrassed with me being there, and they talked about their periods, and the pain the cramps caused. One of the girls mentioned bloating, and they all went, ewwwww, and then they laughed a little. Then Jeri told me I was the luckiest girl of all because I didn't have to worry about periods or having kids, as she put it.
"We always sit together, because the boys won't let me sit with them. But the girls seem to have made me one of them. I didn't mind, and when I said we needed to give daddy a lesson, I really meant it. Mom, I am fourteen, five foot, one inch tall, and I still have a high voice. Don't misunderstand me, but I think my voice is getting higher too. Most of the guys my age have deep voices, or are just getting their 'man's' voice as one of the girls called it. I seem to be getting a woman's voice.
"When we see Dr. Granger tomorrow, can we have her give me a full physical with blood work too?"
"Yes, dear, I think that would be a very good idea. So let me get this straight then. Are you saying that the reason you want to stay as Joanne is because you feel you are a girl, or are becoming a young woman?"
"It could be mom. My voice is getting higher, but I still function as a male. One of my teachers last semester said that sometimes a boy's voice becomes higher before it gets lower. Do you think my voice will get lower?"
"I'm not sure sweetie, but we can have Dr. Granger find out for us. Anyway we both need to get to bed because you see Dr. Granger in the morning. Tomorrow you can wear your powder blue, jacquard print skirt with the light blue blouse. I will wake you up early enough that you can get a good bath in. Good night, sweetie, and sweet dreams. I love you."
"Good night mom, sweet dreams and I love you too." After affectionate hugs, I went to get my shower and get in bed.
A girl has to stay clean, and never goes to bed with a day's sweat and dirt on her body. I grabbed my bath caddy, my pink baby doll, a clean pair of panties and my robe. I took my shower and then went and got in bed. The next morning came too quickly and I was up and on automatic pilot.
After my my nice rose scented bubble bath, I went and got dressed. My powder blue, jacquard skirt, with my light blue blouse was just what I needed this morning to make me feel very feminine. The skirt also had a little lace around the hem, and zipped at the side. The blouse was a back button, and mom had to help me with it. My lingerie was just simple white. I put on my blue Mary Jane's and then put my hair in a pony tail. I looked like I was twelve instead of fourteen. But that is alright with me though, because the cuter I look, the better.
I went downstairs and mom was already cooking breakfast. She made us each one pancake, two strips of crisp bacon, and one slice of wheat toast. I had milk and juice and mom just had her coffee. After we had eaten, we cleaned up the kitchen, and then we left for Dr. Granger's.
When we got to Dr. Granger's office building, there was hardly anywhere to park. Mom parked across the street at the parking lot, and Dr. Granger always validated our parking tickets. That meant she paid the parking fees for her patients. Eloise Granger, MD, was mom's age, with flaming red hair, and sky blue eyes that sparkled when she smiled. She was in the waiting room talking with another patient, when we walked in.
"Nora, good to see you. Go right in, and I will be right with you." She talked to the other patient for just a bit longer, then came in her office. "You look very pretty today, Joanne. I understand that you want a complete physical. That's good because you will need one for when school starts in a few weeks. My, I can't get over how pretty you look. Well, shall we get started then?
"Your mother tells me that you would like to develop like a girl instead of a boy. Is that right?"
"Yes, doctor. I want to stay as Joanne forever." She smiled and nodded.
"Alright then, come with me. I am going to have Shirley draw some blood."
Shirley Adams was Dr. Granger's nurse. She had these sky blue, sparkly eyes, and a figure that any girl would die for. Her sun yellow, blonde hair was perfect, piled high on her head and held with a scrunchie. She had two butterfly clips, one on each side just above, and in front of, the ears.
When I got in the exam room just off of Dr. Granger's main office, I was told to take off my skirt, blouse and bra, and put on a paper gown. Then I sat on the bed, and waited for Shirley. She came in with five glass tubes, a long rubber hose thing, and a small butterfly needle. She put on her rubber gloves, and then cut the tip off of one finger. She felt around for a vein, and then used an alcohol wipe to sterilize the area she was going to take the blood from.
She put the needled in my arm, and the blood flowed into the tubes, one at a time. When she was done taking yhr blood, she said the doctor would be right in. I won't bore you with the physical examination details, we have all been through it dozens of times. After she was finished with my physical. she said she had some questions for me, and I was to get dressed and meet her in her office. I got dressed, and went in the office and sat down.
"Joanne, before I can prescribe any hormones for you, I need to ask you some questions. If I prescribe hormones for you to develop like a natural girl would, will you take them as prescribed?"
"Yes."
"Is it your wish then, that you want to be a girl physically?"
"Yes."
"If I could get you in to court today to have your name changed, would you like that?"
"Yes, more than ever."
"Now, will you be embarrassed to go to school as Joanne?"
"No, doctor. The girls at school count me as one of them anyway, and the guys treat me like a girl."
"From the time I give you this prescription, you will be required to be Joanne for good. This, I believe, they call the real life test. You have to be Joanne fully for one year or more, and then when your therapist and I are satisfied that you have sucessfully completed the real life test, then we can talk about the surgeries you will undergo to be physically female."
"Surgery kinda scares me, doctor."
"There is nothing to be scared about, Joanne. The doctor who does the surgeries is very good at what he or she does. I will give you a list of plastic surgeons who do srs, that means sex reassignment surgery. Some are even saying gender reassignment surgery, but it is the same thing. When it comes time for you to have your surgeries, we will talk more about who you want for your srs surgeon. But just remember this, young lady. The surgeries are only the beginning of your life as a female. Anyway, here is your prescription for your hormones. I am prescribing twelve milligrams of estradiol to be taken in six milligram increments twice a day, and two hundred milligrams of prometrium. That is a progesterone that all females produce naturally, but you need just a little help. Do you have any questions, dear?"
"Doctor, my voice seems to be getting higher, instead of lower. One of my teachers said that sometimes a boy's voice gets higher before it gets lower. Do you think my voice will get any lower than it is?"
"Well, I can hear the pitch in your voice now, and you sound every bit a girl when you speak. Have you been having a sore throat, like sometimes when you talk it sounds like you're voice is raspy and not clear?"
"Not lately, but it did a couple of months ago."
"I see. Nora, take her to see Dr. Malik and see what is going on with her vocal chords. I am interested in finding out about this too. Is there anything further?"
"No Ellie, I think you have covered it completely, for now. We will see what Dr. Malik has to say about her voice. I will have him send you a copy of what he finds."
"That will be fine, Nora." She got up and walked us to the door, and then she gave me a big hug and told me I was very brave for standing up for myself and being who I am. I smiled, and then we left.
"I think this visit went very well. Let's get your prescriprion filled, then we can go and get some lunch." Mom had that far off look in her eyes, and I got a little worried.
"Mom, is everything okay? You look like you were far away there for a while."
"I'm fine, honey. In fact, everything is fine. I was just thinking how beautiful you look, and what your father is actually missing out on. But we won't dwell on that. He made his bed, short sheets and all, so he has to sleep in it. You are so pretty though."
Mom was thinking deeply at that point, and we had arrived at the pharmacy. Mom handed my prescriptions to the pharmacist and she said it would be about twenty minutes, because she had a few to fill before mine. We said we would wait, and then we wandered around the store.
We ended up in the cosmetic aisle and mom wanted to get me more makeup. She said a girl never has enough makeup, and that there were different cosmetics for different looks and different outfits. She said first we found the outfit, then we found the the lingerie, then the shoes, a purse, and the right cosmetics. She said that is why women have more cosmetics than what it seems they need. She laughed a little, when she said that I would be following in those footsteps.
When the prescription was done, they called my name over the intercom. We picked up the hormones, and then went out to eat lunch. Mother was telling me that in her day, they had counters in the drug stores where you could sit and have a soda, or a banana split, or maybe a burger and fries. She said she was kind of sorry they still didn't have those. So we ended up at Big Boy's and I had a chicken salad and mom had just coffee. Mom took out three of the estradiol because they only came in in two milligram maximum doses, and one prometrium. I took them with my water, and I was now officially on my way to being the girl I am.
Did I do all of this with daddy, so I could be Joanne? I don't know, but he did get me so mad when he kept calling me a sissy. I hope they dig a pit under the jail and bury him in it. I guess no matter how I look at it, father just doesn't get it, and maybe never will.
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If you would like an explanation of how vocal chords (cords) operate and what they look like, here is the wikipedia link. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vocal_folds
Father Just Doesn't Get It - Part IV
by Barbara Lynn Terry
Previously:
"Mom, is everything okay? You look like you were far away there for a while."
"I'm fine, honey. In fact, everything is fine. I was just thinking how beautiful you look, and what your father is actually missing out on. But we won't dwell on that. He made his bed, short sheets and all, so he has to sleep in it. You are so pretty though."
Mom was thinking deeply at that point, and we had arrived at the pharmacy. Mom handed my prescriptions to the pharmacist and she said it would be about twenty minutes, because she had a few to fill before mine. We said we would wait, and then we wandered around the store.
We ended up in the cosmetic aisle and mom wanted to get me more makeup. She said a girl never has enough makeup, and that there were different cosmetics for different looks and different outfits. She said first we found the outfit, then we found the the lingerie, then the shoes, a purse, and the right cosmetics. She said that is why women have more cosmetics than what it seems they need. She laughed a little, when she said that I would be following in those footsteps.
When the prescription was done, they called my name over the intercom. We picked up the hormones, and then went out to eat lunch. Mother was telling me that in her day, they had counters in the drug stores where you could sit and have a soda, or a banana split, or maybe a burger and fries. She said she was kind of sorry they still didn't have those. So we ended up at Big Boy's and I had a chicken salad and mom had just coffee. Mom took out three of the estradiol because they only came in two milligram maximum doses, and one prometrium. I took them with my water, and I was now officially on my way to being the girl I am.
Did I do all of this with daddy, so I could be Joanne? I don't know, but he did get me so mad when he kept calling me a sissy. I hope they dig a pit under the jail and bury him in it. I guess no matter how I look at it, father just doesn't get it, and maybe never will.
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Chapter I - Girls night in.
When we got home, I told mom I was going up to my room for a bit. She said okay, and headed to the kitchen. One of the girls at school had told me that women live in two rooms; the kitchen and the bathroom. The other girls agreed. It seemed borders were drawn. The man lived in the living room in front of the tv, and the woman lived in the kitchen. I know mom does. But since we are both girls now, the house is ours. There are no more borders, no more sissy, no more daddy. Just mom and me and peace and quiet. Of course, I will never understand why there are some men who still think this is their day. When are they going to learn that it is my day, and I am an individual? Mom understood that. I just sat on my bed thinking all of this, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what daddy's problem is. Yes he drinks too much, and is at the bar too much. But why does he have to get angry when he drinks? Do I love my father? No. He never had love in him, and he was always putting me down.
What is it with men anyway, that they have to be so hard headed about things. If something doesn't go their way, they get all mad and violent. Is there a reason for that?
Well, whatever it is, I won't be going that way anyway. I love being Joanne, and shopping with mom and helping her cook the meals, and doing other feminine things with her. She said that as long as my father wanted me to remain Joanne, I was a girl in this house. Ohmygosh! I gotta talk to mom.
I went downstairs and found her in the kitchen.
"Mom, when daddy said that I will remain Jo-whatever, and you said when we went in the kitchen that I was now a girl in this house. Did you mean then, that as a long as I didn't get my hair cut, or did you mean it for something else?"
"Honey, what brought this on?"
"Mom, I was in my room thinking. Daddy never did care much for me. Was it really because of my long hair, or was it something else?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"Yes, I would."
"He knew because of the way you did things that if he distanced himself from you, that you would either come to me like you did, or you would end up in a therapist's chair. He didn't want you turning out like him. I support this family on my cocktail waitress job, and I make good money at it. The tips are worth it. Your father was a lazy bum doing what odd jobs he could for his drinking money. I pay all the bills in the house, I buy all the food, and clothes, and maybe once in a while, even something for myself. But darling, what he did, I admit, was wrong. But if you look at it from another point of view, you are delicate boned, and have delicate features.
"I have watched you around the house, and you instinctively do things the way girls would. It is like I told you, sweetie, that it is no secret that I have always wanted a daughter. Well, when your father decided to start calling you a sissy, I couldn't understand why you took it for so long before you stood up to him. See, his father was a lazy no good for nothing drunk too, and they say like father like son. But when you stood up to him, you weren't Jimmy any more, you were Joanne. Now what your father did when he called you a sissy was wrong. I think if he would have compromised a little bit, you would have met him half way and still kept your hair long, but not as long.
"Anyway, that is over now, and the only thing you will have to do, is testify at his trial. Does that answer your question, dear?"
"Yes mom, it does. But why couldn't he have just let things be? I mean he didn't have to get abusive like he did. And that night we called the police, I was very scared. I still am."
She wrapped her arms around me, and cradled her head on top of mine, and then she said everything will be fine.
"Your father is in jail now, and when we are finished testifying, and the police testify, I'm sure the jury will put him where he belongs."
"Thanks, mom." I gave her a big hug, and then got a glass and poured myself some orange juice. I laughed a little at a thought I just had, and mom wanted to know what was so funny. "I was just thinking that when school starts again, what my friends are going to say when they Joanne instead of that boy named Jimmy."
"Well, when school does start back up, you let me know how the first day went."
We still had a few weeks to go yet, and I was making the most of being the girl I now wanted to live the rest of my life as. I mean, as far as boys went, I sure didn't make the grade. I am five foot, one inch, and maybe I will grow another inch or two. Maybe. When mom bought clothes for me, she had to buy from the boys section, and even then some of those clothese didn't fit me. I was small boned, and my voice was still high at fourteen. I will be getting hormone injections every three months to jump start female puberty, and maybe that will keep whatever boy hormones I have low enough that it won't affect me.
Just then, the phone rang, and mom answered it. "I see, no that's wonderful, then that way she won't have to worry. Alright, we will be there. Yes, we will see you then."
"Honey, that was Mr. Brown, the attorney. He said he got us in children's court for your name change, next Monday. That will give us time to get your records straight with your new legal name."
I gave her a hug, and I just sat there holding on to her. "Thanks, mom."
"For what, honey?"
"For letting me be your daughter, even if daddy isn't here."
"Well, I have an idea. Why don't we have a girls night in tonight. I can do your hair, and nails, and we can order a pizza, and watch chick flicks till we drop. So what do you say? Sound like fun?"
"That sound like fun, mom." I smiled, because mom was serious about wanting a daughter, and I was just as serious to be that daughter for her. She always stood up for me in front of daddy, and we had had a lot of good talks too. I have never been to a girls night in, but if it is as much fun as mom said it would be, I was going to enjoy myself. So for right now, I guess I will just go and see what needs to be done. "Mom, is there anything I can do?"
"Well, it is too early to start dinner, since there is just the two of us. We don't have to worry about feeding a man who acts like he's starving to death. So what do you think we should do?"
"Well, instead of making dinner, we could order a pizza and garlic bread and have a girls night in. It sounds like a lot of fun, and this way too, I can actually really bond with my mother. Yes, a girls night in mother."
"I think that's a wonderful idea. That way I don't have to cook or wash dishes. But until then, what should we do?"
"Let's put in a movie, and we can start our girls night in now. Sort like an extended girls night in."
"You know, that does sound like a good idea." She hugged me and rubbed her nose against mine, and she told me to wait a few minutes, and she would be right back.
When she came back, she was dressed in her lilac pengoir set, with matching robe. She had on her lilac two inch slippers, and she had taken her day makeup off.
"Honey, I think we will do each other's nails, and hair. I think tonight will be a good time to show you how to wax your legs, and put on lotion right after to take care of the burn. This way your skin doesn't get all red like it is sunburned."
"You know, before daddy started calling me a sissy, I always wondered why girls legs were so smooth. Now I know, because I don't think shaving them would leave them that smooth."
"No darling, it wouldn't. Waxing and lostion gives our legs that shine look, and makes them better to look at. You will find if you wax your legs, the boys will notice you a lot better. When you said you had thoughts about being a girl and dreams, did you ever dream about having a boyfriend?"
"Yes. But I couldn't make up my mind, so my dream boyfriend was like an outline. It was like it was waiting for me to fill it in, as to what I wanted my dream boyfriend to look like. Since I have become Joanne full time now, those dreams are getting more real like. I mean that the outline is starting to fill in. All of my girl friends in my dreams are telling me I was lucky because I got the campus stud. Whoever that is. I am still trying to figure out what all this means."
"Let me tell you a little story about a young girl who was nine years old. One day she was playing with her friends, and they were all climbing trees playing Tarzan and Jane. One of the boys was even playing Tarzan's chimpanzee, Cheetah. Well, the game was going just fine, until the little girl fell out of the tree. She only got a few scratches and bumps, and sound lecture from her mother and father.
"They told her she was a young lady, and that it was improper for a young lady to be playing with boys who like to swing like monkeys from the tree branches. They told her that is they had to, they would chaperone her whereeverr she went just to make sure she wasn't playing dangerous games with the boys. Boys don't care if they get hurt, but you can get really scarred up just from playing on the tree branches without even falling.
"So the little girl told all the boys that she could play with them, but that her mom and daddy didn't want her climbing trees because she could get real bad scars just playing on the branches. So the boys said that was fine, because Jane didn't really like swinging from tree to tree. She left that mostly to Tarzan and Cheetah. There was one day that one of the boys fell from one of the branches and got cut. The little girl ran in her house and told her daddy that one of the boys got hurt. Her daddy went outside and looked at the boy's cuts, and said he would be all right, and he took him in the house and bandaged his cuts. After the boys went home, the little girl's daddy sat down and let out a big sigh. 'See,' he said, 'that is what could happen to you, and it would be a long time before those cuts healed, but when they did heal, they would leave a scar, like that young man will have.' Do you know who that little girl was?"
"No."
"That little girl was me. So when I started noticing boys more, I didn't play with the boys any more except maybe a little kiss. You never liked to climb trees, or play rough. You always watched me when I was cooking, or putting my makeup on, or gettting my hair set. You never liked watching sports with your father, and you never liked the baseball glove he got you when you were five years old. You may have angered your father with becoming Joanne, but you made me the happiest mother in the world, because you had enough courage to show him who you really are."
"Mom, when it comes time to have surgery, will you be there with me?"
"Yes, of course I will be there for my daughter's big day. Now, let's talk about something a little more upbeat, shall we?"
"What can we do now? Oh! I know! You can show me how to set hair. I mean I know I have watched you, and I have learned how to do a pony tail and a bun, but I was thinking of something more, like with rollers and clips."
"That's a great idea. Wait right here while get my set supplies." She came back a few minutes later carrying a heated roller set, and assorted clips. She had solutions in the kaboodle she kept everything in so she could take them with her, if she had to go out of town. "Now let me see. What style should we start with first? Now honey, these styles are simple too, and they don't involve any cutting. Just setting. So pick a style, and we will start with that."
I picked of all things, a page boy cut. Mom looked at me and said we should just do simple sets, because a page boy involves cutting and trimming. So I looked at the styles in Woman's Day magazine and picked one that we could do with the just the rollers and clips.
This was a nice style and it framed the face very well. The sides hung at shoulder length, and the back was set perpendicular to the sides and braided. Mom had me make sure that the bangs were just above the eyebrows, which could be done without cutting. After mom placed a small butterfly clip on the sides and in front of each ear, I was permitted to look in the mirror.
I saw a young woman in the mirror, and wondered where the fourteen year old girl was. I looked at mom and smiled. I wasn't fourteen in this mirror but a lot older looking and not too unpleasant to look at either. I decided that with my new "do" I needed to change my outfit, and I rummaged around in my closet like forever, and came up with the teal skirt and rose top. After changing, I stood in front of the mirror again, and mom just had to snap a picture. Joanne was there, but this was an older Joanne. I smiled again, as mom said it was my turn to do her hair.
I took the rollers and heated them up, and then looked at the Woman's Day magazine again, I took the large rollers and wound her hair up. She told me to put on a little setting solution, because that would hold the curl better. After I had rolled and curled her hair, we sat back and watched a movie. Miss Congeniality one and two were on, so we settled in for a nice few hours of our favorite chick flicks. It was a good thing that daddy wasn't here, because everytime I would watch these movies, he always had something to say, and none of it was any good.
The doorbell rung, and I went to answer it with the pizza money. Mom had ordered a veggie pizza, because we were watching our figures. After the first Miss Congeniality was over, mom got up and said she would be right back. When she came back, she had a jar of something that looked like hair wax, and cloth strips.
"Honey, how about I show you how to wax your legs, pubic area, and your underarms. I will do your legs, then you can do mine, and when we are hairless as a Mexican chihuaua, then we can paint our nails." I giggled, because mom was being funny. It is so good to be able to laugh and have fun without the presence of an ogre around.
Mom started at the ankles, and worked up toward my pubic area. After she had gotten both legs and the pubic area done, she showed me how to wax my underarms. She said waxing was by far the best, because it took longer for the hair to grow back, than if I shaved my underarms everyday. Besides, she said, that shaving leaves unsightly razor burn, and that is not ladylike at all. She divided the underarms into two sides; the top and bottom. She showed me how to stretch the arm outward, so the underarm skin was taut, and then she put on a little wax, and with one motion, the hair there was gone. She did the same with the top part, and then she was done.
"Now dear, are you going to be embarrassed waxing me?"
"No, mother."
So, with that I started waxing, and after about a whole hour, we were both hairless, and then she got out the nail polish. She had a burgundy wine color for her, and for me a light powder pink. I did her nails first. I started by filing them, and shaping them, and then I put a base coat on. Then I put two coats of polish on, and let that dry. The top coat came next, and then I was done. Mother did my nails the same way, and if anybody would have seen us would surely have said we were mother and daughter. All the time we were watching Miss Congeniality two. *Sigh* I wonder what I would do if I were armed and fabulous? Oh well, I love both movies, and the next set of movies were old time Shirley Temple ones where she was a little girl. By the time we had finished one slice of pizza, and watched countless movies, I fell asleep with my head in mother's lap.
I don't know if I walked to my bed, or if I was helped, but when I woke up, I was in bed. I felt something on my head, and knew it was a scarf mom had put there to keep my hair set while I slept. I got out of bed, and went to draw my bubble bath. I was going to be a lavender girl today, complete with lavender perfume. After my bath, and getting dressed in my lilac sundress, I slipped on my strappy sandals, and went downstairs. All I did with my hair was finger brushed it and it fell right back into place.
I went to the fridge and got out an apple juice, and then took two slices of bread and toasted them. Then after putting jelly (fruit flavored jam) on the toast, I sat down.
"How did you sleep, dear?" Mom inquired in the same tone she had used last night.
"I slept really good, mom." She smiled, and said we were going to Denny's for breakfast. "Toast is good for a quick bite, but I am famished, so let's get somethig really special."
We left the house, and after making sure I was buckled in, she started the car, and we went to Denny's. We never got to out much when daddy was here, but now that he is gone, maybe we can go out more often. As we went in, the hostess took us to our preferred seats, and gave us our water and menus. Mom ordered coffee for her and a large milk for me. When the blonde waitress came by again, mom ordered a pancake and egg breakfast for her, and for me a nice two egg with sausage breakfast that when we were done, left us full. We had talked about going shopping later on in the day, and what mom wanted to do was make a day out of being with her daughter. I smiled, because I knew exactly what she was doing. Alright now, I am Joanne and I will be Joanne for the rest of my life, and I enjoy being a girl.
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This is a short chapter telling about mother and daughter bonding in a girls night in. I promise the next chapter will be longer.