Susan Brown
I thought back to just a month ago, it seemed longer somehow. Anyway it was just after my twelfth birthday…
Susan Brown
As I sat in Matron’s office, I wondered how my best friend, Adrian Metcalf, was getting on in the school sanatorium next door.
I was wearing one of those paper hospital gowns that did up at the back and a pair of paper underpants for my modesty.
I thought back to just a month ago, it seemed longer somehow. Anyway it was just after my twelfth birthday…
We were sitting in the classroom, seventeen boys including Adrian and me and we were bored. The school–which was a good one, boasted a state of the art lab which was the pride of the school. Being a public school and very popular, it was pretty rich, so they could afford the best and that included facilities, equipment and staff. Overdean was a boys’ school and a girls’ one too, but not mixed. I know that sounds strange, but it was strange times, to say the least. The boys’ and the girls’ schools shared some of the facilities but were kept separate unless there were combined events like the year-end dance.
Adrian and I were playing hangman on the back of an exercise book when the door opened. We all stood up as Miss Howard came in and swept to the front of the class. At about thirty five years old, she still looked quite pretty and I know that a few of the boys quite fancied her…
‘Right, sit down, boys.’
There was a lot of scraping of chairs as we all sat down and waited for her to begin.
‘Okay, I know that you should be doing double maths now and I also know how much you enjoy that.’
There were general groans at that and she smiled and then continued.
‘However, we have an important milestone to talk about today and I am the mistress designated to explain everything to you. You are all around twelve years old and it’s time that you heard the full facts of the disaster that befell the world twenty years ago in 2012. You all know something about what happened then and the fact that some males have to transform into females and make sacrifices for the good of the world, but you haven’t been told the full facts yet. It is now time to give you the information you need to know.’
We sat up at that. We knew some things of course, but not everything. The fact that some of us might be changed into girls was on the back of most of our minds occasionally but people didn’t talk about it much and to be truthful when you are a kid with lots of things happening, it was something we didn’t want to dwell on and of course, like death, it is never going to happen to you and you will live forever. But over the next few minutes, we learned more than we wanted to about the virus.
‘I know that it’s old ground for most of you but it helps to go over the facts. It started as a simple virus. The only strange thing about it was that it only affected women. It was just like a cold, with runny noses, a cough and things like that. I was fifteen when I had it and I must say it didn’t really make me feel very ill and I was over it in about four days and thought nothing of it. Then gradually reports came in that something strange was happening–only boys were being born. All women who were due to have baby girls either miscarried or had still births. It wasn’t just this country; all around the world there were reports of this virus and its terrible consequences.’
I looked at Adrian; he was quite white but looked less upset than I thought he would. I suppose I knew a bit more than most of the boys as my parents were ambassadors to India, well my mum was ambassador , but my dad was head of the resident staff and that made him very important too. I hadn’t seen them in two years and I missed them, but my attention was drawn back to the teacher…
‘Since then, no female child has been born–anywhere. It was nothing less than a disaster for mankind. Without women being born, there would be no babies. Something had to be done as the world without women meant that our species would simply die out and in a relatively short space of time. There were many meetings, national and international. Countless discussions were held as to how this awful calamity could be dealt with. Effectively we had a limited number of years to sort out the problem before the whole of mankind would just become extinct. Of course there were rows and arguments. One country would blame another for the onset of this disaster and also many thought that it was a man made virus gone terribly wrong or worse still, some sort of perverted germ warfare. All clear so far?’
We all nodded and just sat there enthralled, realising how personal this was going to be for some of us.
‘Ever since, there has been a quest in the scientific community to try to find out what the cause of this terrible affliction was, and to find a cure. To date, no cure has been found. Only humans have this problem, all other species are unaffected.
‘In the end, one eminent scientist stood up in the UN about two years later and told the representatives of the world that he and some of his colleagues had a possible way around the terrible dilemma that the world faced. For some time, experiments had been carried out to assist the transgender community. Many people felt that they lived in the wrong body, some were women but the majority that had come forward were men, trying to physically be the women that they felt they were mentally. Scientists had been playing around with a cocktail of drugs to try to help these people and had come up with, almost by accident, a combination of drugs and a treatment that would, in time, change the very structure of the body from male to female and vice versa.’
There was a murmur around the room and Adrian grabbed my hand. We looked at each other and we kind of knew what was coming next.
‘Settle down…right, I realise that you know some of this but please hear me out. At the time, the process had only been used on chimps. I hate the idea of animal experimentation but there you are, they had done it. Plans were put I place to use the worlds considerable scientific community in perfecting the drugs and treatment, making sure that it was safe for humans; this took three years, but eventually, a number of people from the transgendered community volunteered to test the treatment and to cut a long story short, it was successful and the drugs were actually quite cheap to produce–for once. The leaders of the world went into session after session to try to hammer out a united approach as to how to deal with the fact that we now had the means to change males into females. They could not decide on a united approach and regretfully, some countries used strong arm methods to ensure that their population survived. One sad fact is that the males that were transformed into fully functioning women still could not produce female children. The hope is that someday, somewhere a female child would be born and we might gain knowledge that would allow us to have girls born in the world again.’
A hand went up,
‘Yes, Gordon.’
‘Sorry, Miss, but what has this to do with us?’
Gordon was a bit thick if he didn’t realise exactly what it had to do with us!
She looked at him and smiled sadly.
‘I was coming to that bit and I’m sorry that this has been long winded, but you need to know all the facts now that you are old enough to understand them. The English government, together with the Welsh, Scottish and Irish ones had agreed on a unified course of action. You must understand that if we did nothing, then our population would die out. For some it is unfair, for others it is something that they desire, but the fact is that some of you here in this room today will have to be changed into girls and the process will start on those selected, in about a month’s time.’
There was a lot of noise, close to pandemonium for a few minutes and Miss Howard allowed us to let off steam. Adrian and I said nothing and just kept holding hands and I suppose we were in shock. It might seem strange for those who did not belong to our culture that boys showed signs of affection like this and we were not the only ones to be either holding hands or hugging.
The truth is that our culture was vastly different from the strict gender stereotypes of past years. It was not seen as anything strange for people of the same sex to show love or affection for one another. I had never questioned it as I knew nothing different. Now I had been told of the facts about all those girls once being boys and more specific, when it happens, I could understand why such gender specific barriers were now more or less redundant. What was the point of prejudice when the boy next to you could turn into a girl one day?
Things quietened down after some of the more hot headed boys calmed down a bit. I think that we were all upset and more than one of the boys had been crying. I think that I was in shock at the news that the dreaded day was very near and something that would affect us or some of us anyway, very personally. I put my hand up.
‘Okay, boys, I know that it’s hard…yes, John?’
‘Don’t we have any say in this? Can we choose not to be involved?’
‘No John. It was decided early on that this was one decision that must be held in the hands of government. The way it goes is that at least forty percent of you will be changed into girls–that is the minimum requirement to ensure the future. The gender change team will see each of you individually and there will be some boys who will be happy to change; those who feel that they are trapped in the wrong body for instance–some of you may be surprised that a lot of people who have transitioned, did so willingly. Some of you cannot become girls because of medical reasons; for example, you may have started puberty; but we will go into that at another time when your assessment is carried out. As I was saying, transitions will take place in a months’ time. You are being told this information now because we know that it will impact dramatically on your family life and you will have to prepare for the possibility that you may be chosen. For the next month, lessons will be altered as and when necessary to accommodate various things that need to be done prior to transition. For example, we need to carry out extensive psychological tests to ensure that the ones that are chosen are able cope with the trauma and changes to them.’
She went on for a while longer before we were allowed to go, but the gist of it was that we had no say in whether we would be chosen or not and there was no way out of it.
We were all in shock after this. Being in a boarding school was like living in a bubble. The world outside sort of passed us by and we didn’t take much notice of things going on outside our rather closed community. The vidicasts and news that we did receive from the outside world, rarely mentioned this gender problem and the consequences and if it did, it was glossed over. Our computer news network also kept very quiet about things too. On reflection, the media must have been heavily censored on this issue; I presume that this was to prevent the panics and riots that other countries had experienced.
Puzzling things and events seemed to fall in place with my new found knowledge. The fact that a large number of boys went to other schools or were transferred after the age of twelve or thirteen, for example. We had been told that some children were moved because they needed special tuition or other reasons even less convincing, but I wasn’t sure that the reasons were all that true.
I had spoken to my dad that night.
After minor and inconsequential things, I told him about it. He kept quiet until I had finished.
‘I’m sorry son; we could have told you before. You knew that at some time, you and the other boys would be up for selection; every boy in the country has to go through this. I am surprised though, as I thought that thirteen was the age they were doing this.’
‘You could have told me when, Dad, it was a shock, you know.’
‘Well, to be fair we weren’t sure ourselves. As I say the authorities keep changing the age of selection to see if a different age might give a better result. They are still looking for the Holy Grail–a girl being born again. When this all started, they tried adults and that was a disaster as the older you get, the less chances of success. They then tried older children; they kept having problems there too. It boiled down to the fact that the boy had to be pre-pubescent for it to work successfully and only then after some surgery.’
‘Surgery? She never mentioned that only something about pills and treatment.’
‘The treatment involves pills and also surgery, but you shouldn’t worry about that now. You have sixty percent chance of not being chosen.’
I shelved the thought of surgery; I didn’t want to know, unless I had to. But the though made me feel a bit sick. I changed the subject.
‘What happened to the older people who were given the pills?’
‘It just didn’t work. Oh some of them had more effeminate bodies and stopped shaving, stuff like that; but those that wanted it, could be reverse treated by being given the female to male version of the pill, which was more effective up to a point. Strangely enough, seventy percent liked the way they were and didn’t try to change back. I know all this as I was on an all party committee concerned with the transition process at the time that this was happening.’
‘So if I am chosen and it didn’t work, I could change back again?’
There was a pause.
‘Dad?’
‘I wish I was with you John and I know your mum is very upset that we can’t be with you too. Look, I suppose I will have to tell you, but don’t tell Adrian or any of your other friends. It’s up to their parents and the staff to tell them all this. Coming from you it could be harmful.’
‘What Dad?’
‘Now that they have perfected the treatment, there is no turning back. It’s the surgery aspect; what gets taken away cannot be altered as it’s no longer there.’
‘What gets taken away Dad?’
I know I said that I didn’t want to hear it, but I know that I would have sleepless nights wondering what terrible things that could be done to my body.
There was another pause.
‘They remove your testicles. They go anyway eventually with the pills, but it was found that the treatment was more effective if there were no testicles present before the pills were taken. The authorities agonised over this for ages. You have to realise that they needed to be able to transform boys into girls otherwise there would be no future for anyone and that alone was a major moral and ethical dilemma. Eventually, there were no other options open to them. Then it was found that removing the testicles prior to the rest of the treatment made things a lot easier for the children and went a great way to ease their transition. The way that the change is done now in this country is as humane as it can be under the circumstances. Other countries I am sorry to say are not quite so sympathetic to the needs of the child.’
So here I was sitting outside the San in a thin chilly garment, waiting for the final medical. I had passed the psych tests, though passed is probably the wrong word for it; so had Adrian. The final examination and medical would decide my future for ever. Last week they had made a pin cushion of me when they took blood, urine and yucky stools from me. The results were in evidently in.
Quite a few of the boys were eliminated from the change as they had started puberty, had medical problems or didn’t have the correct psychological profile.
I had lain awake a few nights imagining being a girl. It was hard as I was a boy and hadn’t had any true contact with any girls. Let’s face it, with no girls around under the age of twelve I would be hard pressed to have any experience with girls. Being in an all boys school meant that I didn’t even know any transgendered girls, of course. I had no real desire to be a girl. I had nothing against them but I was a boy and I liked boys things…
The door opened and Adrian came out, he was dressed in his school uniform again.
‘Hi Aid, how did it go?’
‘I won’t be chosen,’ he said. ‘I’m marginally diabetic and though they can treat it and cure it, they won’t take a chance in my being picked.’
I gave him a hug.
‘That’s good; not about the diabetes, but that you won’t be picked.’
‘Yes, I suppose so.’
I looked at him with a frown.
‘Are you sad; did you want to be chosen?’
‘I wouldn’t have minded.’
‘Oh, right, well I’m sorry then. Did you tell the doctor that?’
‘Mmm.’
‘What did she say?’
‘That, if I still felt that way when they cure the diabetes, then I could try the transgender route. She said that I could have some pills to stop me having male puberty, if I have yet more psych tests and evaluations, that is.’
‘So eventually you could be a woman?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well then, it’s not too bad is it?’
‘I suppose, it’s just that I had raised my hopes and now I’ll have to wait.’
‘You never told me about you wanting to be a girl.’
‘I know; I thought that you might think that I was silly.’
‘No way; you’re my friend and friends stick together. Have you ever worn girls’ things?’
‘I have few things that I ordered off the net in my room, a few dresses, skirts, blouses, nighties and under things, but I haven’t got much.’
‘Maybe you’ll show me, some time?’
‘Okay.’
We had another hug and broke off when the door opened. ‘John, we’re ready for you.’
‘Okay, Matron.’ I gave Adrian another hug and then followed Matron.
‘Good luck, John.’
I was examined, poked, prodded, did some strenuous tests on a treadmill and had more examinations which included what they called a digital examination and that made my eyes water a bit. There were three doctors there–all female–together with matron and after they had finished with their torture, I was told to change back into my school uniform while they discussed the results. I went into the changing room, stripped off the paper gown and then put on my school uniform shirt, trousers and blazer. After putting on my socks and shoes, I went back into the Sanatorium and they were all sitting around a desk. Matron looked up and smiled.
‘Come and sit down John.’
I did as she asked, trying to read in her face regarding what the verdict would be, without success. One of the doctors, I think her name was Dr Miller, spoke up.
‘Well John, we have completed all our tests and just to let you know, we have a grading system, zero to a hundred marks. Anyone below 70 is not chosen. Your mark was 89, which is quite high. You are fit, well adjusted, have not started male puberty yet and are of the correct weight and height for optimum success. Therefore we have to say that you have been chosen to be transformed into a girl.’
As I heard her, my heart was banging away and I had started to sweat. I felt faint and didn’t really believe what I was hearing.
‘D…do I have to…be a g—girl?’
‘What is wrong with being a girl?’ asked the other doctor.
‘N…nothing I just am…a…boy.’
‘Look John, we know that it’s hard, but you have no choice, it’s the law. We all wish that it was different but if the authorities relied on voluntary transformation, there would not be a big enough uptake to fulfil our needs. It was like the old days, before organ cloning where people were asked to donate their organs; there were never enough to go around and people died. We all hope and pray that someday, girls will be born again and that we don’t have to make these decisions, but until then, we have no choice.’
The other doctor then spoke up rather crisply, I thought.
‘Look, you need to know what happens now. Tomorrow morning, you and the other Chosen will transfer to the girls’ school. There is a separate medical facility there and you will initially go there. You will then have a minor operation–’
‘–I don’t think removing my testicles is a minor operation–’
‘–So you know about that? Well, I didn’t mean to trivialise it but what I meant was that it is not a difficult operation and is very much routine and to be frank, you won’t need your testicles anyway.’
‘Right,’ said Matron, stopping me arguing the point,’ I want you to be here at nine o’clock tomorrow morning. Do not have anything to eat tonight or tomorrow, you can drink water though. Pack any personal items you need in the case that will be put in your room. You will not require any clothes as they will be provided for you. Just put on some loose clothing. Tonight you may want to say goodbye to your friends as it will be some time before you will see them again. I hope that you will see this as an opportunity and not too much of a negative thing to happen to you. Being Chosen is a privilege and an honour, though you probably don’t see it that way at the moment.
I got up without saying anything and left the room. Tom Major was waiting in the office, he had on a paper gown and it was obviously his turn next. I just smiled at him and wished him luck and left. I could see on his face that he was quite scared and I hoped that he got what he wanted.
The next day found me in the Sanatorium again waiting with about twenty others, including Tom Major and David Haslam the people that I knew best of the group. We all looked anxious and not knowing what the future would bring. The previous evening there had been a lot of tearful farewells including a very painful one with Adrian. We didn’t know what the future would bring but hoped that we would see each other again sometime. I had spoken to my parents that evening too and they proclaimed their support and love for me and I promised to speak to them on the vidiphone as soon as I was able.
Dr Miller walked in and smiled.
‘Well boys, this is the beginning of your new life. Leave your cases where they are and they will be picked up and put into your rooms. Please follow me.
We all looked at each other and followed the white coated doctor as she left the sanatorium, went down a corridor, came to a door at the end, keyed in a code and after the door slid open silently, motioned us to follow her.
After we all trouped through, I could hear the door swoosh closed behind us. It seemed like it was a sign that my old life was closing too. We went along another corridor and then found ourselves in a sort of large lobby. There were several people, all women doctors waiting for us. They all were holding clipboards.
As we walked in, a nurse asked us our name.
‘John Tranter.’ I said.
‘Right go over there please.’
She pointed to the third doctor who smiled nicely as I walked up.
‘You are?’
‘John Tranter ,Miss.’
‘Right, my name is Dr Thompson. Please go and stand over there with those other boys; you are all in my group.’
I went and stood where I was asked and noted that Tom and David were there too. We just stood there and waited until all the boys were sorted and put into the correct group.
Once everyone was sorted, Dr Thompson came over to us.
‘Right, would you like to follow me?’
She led us over to another door, keyed and in a code. The door opened silently and then we followed the trim figure of the doctor along a corridor with many doors either side, reminding me a bit of a hotel.
As she came up to one, she used a key card to open it and motioned to Tom.
‘This is your room, please go inside, get undressed and put on the gown provided. Someone will be along to see you shortly.’
Tom looked at David and I, gave us a sickly sort of smile and went in. The door closed silently behind him. The process was repeated several times before she stopped at another door and said the same thing to me that she had he said to the others.
I went in and the door closed behind me. The lights came on automatically, leaving me looking at the room with some surprise. It was modern, comfortable and was the mirror image of the room that I had in the boys’ school, the only difference being that it was decorated in pastel shades rather than the rather cold blue of my old room!
There was an en suite bathroom, walk in closet, bed, computer and a large vidiscreen on the wall–all much the same as I had before. On the bed was a paper gown similar to the one worn at the medical yesterday, but in salmon pink. I got undressed and changed into the gown; this time there were no underpants to wear. Sitting on the bed, I wondered what was going to happen next. To say that I was scared was something of an understatement.
I stood up and went to the walk in closet with its sliding mirror doors. I went to open it and saw that it was locked. That was strange, well maybe they didn’t want to shock me with all those girly clothes yet.
I went over to the computer.
‘Computer on.’ I said.
‘You do not have access at the moment. Please contact your Unit Head for access codes.’
Sitting on the bed again I was very conscious of my groin area. I touched my genitals through the paper of the gown and then took my hand away. I didn’t want to think about that too much.
I was just going to see what was on the vid, when the door opened silently. A nurse walked in carrying a tray.
‘Hello John; making yourself comfortable?’
‘Sort of.’
‘Right, pop yourself on the bed and lie down on your back.’
With some reluctance, I did as I was asked.
‘Sorry honey, I need to do this.’ said the nurse whose nametag said Jane.
She looked at my genitals, took a white cloth from her tray, dipped it in some pink liquid and then washed me down there.
I jumped as she touched me.
‘Cold? Sorry, sweetheart, I won’t be a moment.’
‘W—what’s going to happen?’ I asked.
‘Well, when I have finished doing this, I’ll tell you.’
She carried on for a few minutes more and then pulled down the hem of my gown again.
‘Right, sit up, honey.’
I sat up and waited. After a moment, she sat on the bed and held my hand.
‘A bit frightened eh?’
‘Mmm.’ I said, nodding to emphasise the point.
‘Okay. Well, there is nothing to be frightened of. In a moment, I will give you something to drink and it will relax and make you sleepy. When you are asleep, we will do the procedure and when you wake up, it will all be over.’
‘Will it hurt?’
‘No, you will not feel any discomfort at all. It will be as if you never had any testicles. I promise you that you will feel no pain. Once you have had the procedure, you can go onto the next step in the transformation and I am sure that you will be happy, although you obviously have doubts about that at the moment.’
‘What is the next thing in the transformation then?’
‘One step at a time, honey, now take this and drink it all up.’
She picked up a glass from the tray; it was full of pink liquid and handed it to me.
I looked at the glass, now in my slightly shaky hand. This was it, no turning back. I looked at her; she seemed kind and I was reassured–slightly. Taking a deep breath, I drank the liquid; it tasted slightly of strawberries.
As I drained the glass, I almost immediately felt very sleepy. I was helped back down onto the pillow I couldn’t keep my eyes open and could sense some covers being pulled over me. Then I knew no more––
‘Wake up John.’
It was as if it came from far away. I didn’t want to wake up, it was nice and warm in the bed and I was still very sleepy.
‘John, wake up now, please.’
I cracked an eye open and there was Jane, the nurse, looking down at me.
‘Is it time for the procedure?’ I asked.
She laughed. ‘No, silly, it’s all over. I said you wouldn’t feel any pain.’
I put my hand under the cover, trying to feel for my groin. I was wearing something silky and pulled the slippery fabric up slightly and then I was able to feel myself. It was true, the sac was empty!
‘You have now completed the first stage of your transformation, honey. You can have no idea as to how lucky you are to be one of The Chosen.’
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
I was still rather sleepy and fell asleep again. When I wakened sometime later and opened my eyes, it took me a few seconds to realise where I was, and felt down below. Sitting up in bed, it dawned on me that, instead of pyjamas, I was wearing a nightdress: it was very soft, cream coloured and seemed to be made of satin.
Susan Brown
Previously...
‘Wake up, John.’
It was as if it came from far away. I didn’t want to wake up, it was nice and warm in the bed and I was still very sleepy.
‘John, wake up now, please.’
I cracked an eye open and there was Jane, the nurse, looking down at me.
‘Is it time for the procedure?’ I asked.
She laughed. ‘No, silly, it’s all over. I said you wouldn’t feel any pain.’
I put my hand under the cover, trying to feel for my groin. I was wearing something silky and pulled the slippery fabric up slightly and then I was able to feel myself. It was true, the sac was empty!
‘You have now completed the first stage of your transformation, honey. You can have no idea as to how lucky you are to be one of The Chosen.’
And now the story continues…
I was still rather sleepy and fell asleep again. When I wakened sometime later and opened my eyes, it took me a few seconds to realise where I was, and felt down below. Sitting up in bed, it dawned on me that, instead of pyjamas, I was wearing a nightdress: it was very soft, cream coloured and seemed to be made of satin.
Putting my hand between my legs I felt my scrotum. It was true; I no longer had any testicles!
I lay back and thought of the implications: I could no longer father a child, not that I wanted to, but the option had been taken away from me. I was no longer a true fully functioning boy, although I had only had a few twitches and a slight hardening of my penis when I woke up in the mornings, promising things to come in the way of puberty and maturation that could never happen now.
Shortly, although I had no idea how soon, I would be a girl. ‘Would they take away my boy memories too?’ I wondered as I felt a few tears roll down my cheeks.
The sound of a soft bell came from the Vid on the wall and a face appeared.
‘Good Morning, John. I am Miss Trott your Unit Head. I hope that you are feeling well. In a few minutes, your Helper will come to see you. I suggest that you use the toilet and have a shower before she arrives. Put your nightdress in the laundry chute and after the shower, put on the robe provided. Your Helper will help you get dressed when she arrives.’
The vid went off without my saying anything and, with some reluctance, I got out of bed. It was strange feeling, walking across the carpeted room and into the bathroom. I was aware of the smooth fabric of the nightdress against my hairless skin and an emptiness between my legs.
I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. I was concerned that I might feel some pain after my operation, but was relieved that–apart from my missing goolies–everything seemed more or less normal.
I entered the shower cubicle, which was identical to the one in my old room apart from the tiles being pink instead of blue. I keyed in my favourite cycle and soon felt the pulsing warm water and shower soap over my body followed a few minutes later by the rinse and dry cycles.
I stepped out of the shower cubicle, clean and dry, feeling considerably more awake than I had when I had entered. There was a cream silky robe on a stool and I put it on, tying with the loose tie belt attached.
Staring at the large mirror over the wash-basin, showed me that my hair could do with a brush. There were a number of items on the shelf in front of me–some of them alarmingly feminine–reminding me of my mother’s dressing table at home. Not wanting to think too much of that I just picked up the brush and tried to untangle my hair. Being slightly long, it had become a bit tangled and it took a few moments to brush it through and part it in the middle like I normally did. My hair was blond–almost white. Evidently, we had some Nordic blood in us on my mothers’ side and it came out in me as a thin face, blond hair and blue eyes. As a young child, I was always called pretty for some reason and I wondered if those words were now coming back to haunt me.
I returned to the bedroom and was just going to try the ’puter when the door chimed; glancing at the wall vid, I saw a girl standing outside my door.
‘Open.’ I called and the door slid open.
A pretty girl of about sixteen, I would say, came in. She was wearing school uniform comprising of a pink and blue check knee-length skirt, a white blouse with a collar, and neckerchief of the same check as the skirt. On the breast pocket of her blouse, she wore a broach in the style of a pink flower; it had five petals with a space for the sixth at the bottom. I wondered if it had been broken. She was wearing long white knee socks and black, low heeled shoes.
‘Hello,’ she smiled, ‘I’m Mariette, your Helper, and I believe you’re John?’
‘That’s right,’ I replied shyly to the tall girl.
‘Good. Now, first things first. I’m your Helper for the first few weeks while you settle in. I am in the final year of school and everyone in our year has to do this as part of our passing out training. We have all experienced the procedure that you’ve just been through, so can sympathise. I know when I first came to this side, I was absolutely terrified.’
‘S—s—s—so, you were a boy when you came here?’
‘That’s right.’
‘Gosh, you don’t look much like a boy now!’
She laughed. ‘I sincerely hope not! Anyway, before we do anything else, let’s get you dressed. Sorry about the uniform; we all have to wear it, but you do get used to it and in our free time we can wear prettier things.’
I kind of shuddered inwardly at the thought of–‘prettier things’.
She approached the cloakroom door and called out, ‘open closet’. The door slid open silently and I wondered why it hadn’t done that for me last night.
There was a plethora of different items of girls clothing inside, stored in some sort of order. On the left were skirts and blouses of the same colour as Mariette was wearing, together at the far end what appeared to be two checked dresses in the school colours. There were shelves with cardigans, jumpers, sweat shirts on them, and on the bottom shelf, shoes–several pairs with slightly different heel sizes. There were also some drawers with glass fronts with what appeared to be socks and underthings in them.
To the right were several dresses, skirts and other items, together with more drawers and shoes and boots on the bottom shelf.
‘On the left,’ Mariette explained, ‘are your school specific clothes and on the right, the things that you can wear out of school hours. You can go on line and order things too, as long as your account has enough credit.’
She looked at me and grinned. ‘I never have enough credit.’
I smiled back, rather nervously.
She pulled a blouse and skirt from the hangers and then opened some drawers, taking out a few items and then, bending down, she finally picked out a pair of low heeled shoes–similar to those she was wearing–and handed them to me.
‘Okay, that’s it,’ she said carrying out the clothes and putting them on the bed. ‘If you would like to get changed now.’
‘Do I have to? Can’t I still wear boy’s things until, until…’
She held my shoulders with a look of concern on her face. ‘I know it’s hard, honey; as I said I have been through all of this myself so I do know how you are feeling right now. You will get to know about things in your orientation and induction classes, but it was found out many years ago, that it is far better to start early on in your femininity rather than gradually, where you would inevitably get constant reminders of how you were once a boy.’
‘But I’m still a boy,’ I cried.
‘I know, honey, but things will be changing and you must try to be brave. Please try and accept that you don’t have a choice; we all wish we had one, but we haven’t. In some countries and cultures, transition is dealt with very badly. At least here they have compassion and try their hardest to make it as easy as possible. Look, they are just clothes, it won’t change you inside. They do not want you to not be John the person, they want you–we all want you to be John, or whatever femme name you choose to be the person inside, with all your memories and values intact. More than a few countries actually brain-wash the boys before changing them to girls quickly, without any support and return them back to their families for them to be just baby machines. They have no recollection of their past and there have been many suicides and incidents of unrest. All this you will be told about over the coming months as you transition. Now please, can you get dressed? If you are shy, I’ll go out for a few minutes and come back when you are ready. Look I can see that you are uncomfortable. I’ll go out. Just call out Mariette and the ’puter will find me, okay?’
I just nodded. She gave me a peck on the cheek and a quick hug and then left me alone.
I sat on the bed, still sniffing and trying to dry my eyes with the back of my hand.
‘If you need a tissue, John, there’s a box in your bedside table drawer,’ said the ’puter’s disembodied voice.
‘What’s your name?’ I asked.
‘Helena.’
‘My old ’puter was Orac.’
She laughed, ‘After the old Blake Seven series on terrestrial TV?’
‘That’s right; my dad is an old TV nut and has all the series and others like Doctor Who?’
‘Well, I must look them up in the database, sometime.’
I opened the drawer in the bedside table, took out some tissues, wiped my eyes and blew my nose. Then I stared at the clothes and sighed, ‘I suppose that I had better get dressed.’
I first picked up the underpants, known–I believe–as panties. They were, according to the label, a cotton mix, whatever that was. They were different from my old underpants but I didn’t want to look too closely and after deciding which was the front and the back just pulled them on. They were surprisingly comfortable and seemed to fit quite well, even though the front looked rather strange with my penis and empty sac making them bulge slightly. Luckily–if that was the word for it–my manhood was rather on the small side so the bulge wasn’t too prominent.
Then I saw a thing with straps on it and two shallow cups. Picking it up, I noticed that the cups were padded. Growing up in the enclosed world of a boys’ boarding school was not a good way to learn about feminine things, but even I knew what it was from pictures and vids that I had seen–it was a bra. I didn’t need this surely; I hadn’t any breasts–yet.
‘Helena?’
‘Yes, John?’
‘Do you know if I have to wear a bra?’
‘Probably, all the girls do.’
‘But I’m not––’ I started, but didn’t finish.
‘Would you like me to call Mariette?’
Looking at the bra and the rest of the things on the bed, I just sighed and admitted defeat. I wondered if Tom and David were having similar problems.
‘Yes, please,’ I sighed.
A few moments later the door chimed again.
‘Open,’ I called and the door slid open silently.
‘Avez vous un problá¨me?’
Looking up there was Mariette standing in the doorway.
‘Oui, combien je me mets sur un soutien-gorge.’
‘Ah, the old bra puzzle, eh? Nice pronunciation by the way. Enough of the French though; I have a test at the end of the week and I’m living, breathing and dreaming French and I need a rest. Right, give it here and I will show you ze leetle treek,’ she said with a twinkle in her eyes.
She put it around my middle, back to front, hooked it together, turned it round until it was the correct way and then helped me pull it up and slip my arms through the shoulder straps.
‘Voila–oh hell, there I go again.’
‘Why do I need to wear it?’ I asked pulling at the straps because they seemed rather tight.
‘To get used to it quickly. Your breasts will start to grow quite rapidly as you get into the medication and you will need some support; this gets you used to it and the padded cups help give you a more feminine shape. You’d better finish dressing now.’
I picked up the blouse and put it on. It was a silky material and felt nice against my skin. Mariette helped me with the buttons which were on the wrong side and very awkward to do up. Then I pulled up the skirt and zipped it up with some difficulty up the back.
‘Next time, pull it up at the front, zip it and rotate the skirt until the zip’s at the back.’
‘I didn’t think of that.’ I said ruefully.
I was just about to sit down to put on the long socks–
‘Stop!’
‘What?’ I asked, jumping up suddenly.
‘Always smooth your skirt under your bum before sitting down: like this.’ She showed me by sitting on a chair, sweeping her skirt under her behind and then smoothing the front of her dress. I did my best to copy her, sitting on the bed. She was satisfied with my third attempt.
‘Well done, that’s it. Soon it will be second nature.’
I put on the long white socks and then the shoes which were slip-ons. The only thing left was the neckerchief.
‘Here, let me help.’ She put the neckerchief around my neck, under the collar, a bit like a tie and then tied a loose bow knot.
‘There we are, you look lovely–ooh I forgot one thing––’
She entered the closet and went to a drawer; opening it, she took out a small red box and brought it to me.
‘Open it,’ she said handing it to me and smiling.
I opened the box and inside on a small red velvet pad was a broach similar to the one that Mariette was wearing but with just two petals on it.
‘Here, let me,’ she said taking the box and removing the brooch.
She pinned the brooch on my breast pocket and then stood back.
‘My, you are pretty, even now. You will be absolutely gorgeous when you have finished transforming. Have a look in the mirror; no, wait–’
She rushed into the bathroom, returned with my hairbrush and a can of something and then started messing with my hair. After she changed it a few times and fluffed it up a bit, she made me close my eyes while she sprayed what I knew to be some sort of fixing spray on my crowning glory. I nearly sneezed as some off the foul smelling stuff went up my nose…
‘That’s better, now have a look at yourself.’
Looking in the mirror, I gasped. I could see my mum, not now of course, but when she was a schoolgirl. She had been very pretty then–still is, of course, but what scared me was that I could see little of me, John, there. The clothes seemed to fit me like they would a real girl and my face, now framed by a shortish–but very feminine–hairstyle, highlighted the fact that I had an image more in tune with a girl than a boy.
‘You like?’
‘Eh? Oh, I do look like a girl, don’t I?’ I replied distractedly.
‘Very much so; as I said, you will be a beautiful girl and very soon too. How do you feel about it?’
‘I—I don’t know. I was worried that I would look like a boy in girls’ clothes, but it’s frightening how much I look like my mum at my age, but I’m still a boy.’
‘Okay, shall we go and sit down, we have a little while to get you sorted out, then I’ll leave you to vid your parents or speak to friends and then I’ll come and fetch you for lunch. After that you have to go to induction class.’
There were two small settees in the room–just the same as the boys’ school. I sat on one and Mariette on the other. I remembered this time to smooth my skirt under me as I sat, earning a smile of approval from my Helper.
‘You’re getting the hang of it already, you’re a natural.’
I gazed at her and smiled sadly.
‘I would rather be a boy than a ‘natural’ girl.
‘I know, honey. It’s all new and it’s like throwing you in at the deep end. Let me give you a bit of a tip. My Helper told me this when I was new. I was the same as you–apprehensive, scared, not wanting to change. She sat me down–the same as you after putting on my uniform for the first time. I admit I was crying my eyes out, at least you haven’t done that–’
‘Yet,’ I replied, smiling sadly.
‘Yet,’ she repeated. ‘Anyway; she told me this: at first it’s all very strange and doesn’t feel real, so you have to think as if you are in a play and you have to dress up and act. Eventually, it isn’t an act anymore and everything will come naturally. It worked for me, though it was hard at first. Would you try that for me?’
I looked at her and could see she was in earnest about this. She was a nice girl and I could see that she was trying her hardest to help me. I just took a deep breath and nodded.
‘Good girl–you’ll soon get used to that too. Whenever you feel that this is not right, take a deep breath and say, it’s an act to yourself and it will help. I know that it won’t work every time and you have occasions when you don’t know whether you are coming or going, but it does help.’
We sat there in silence for a moment and then she glanced at me. ‘Are you feeling hungry?’
‘Mmm.’ I replied.
‘Of course, you haven’t had breakfast, what d’you fancy?’
‘Toast and orange juice?’
‘Did you hear that, Helena?’
‘Yes, Mariette. Did you want anything?’
‘I’ll have the same please.’
A few moments later, the galley hatch opened and we pulled out the tray. Sitting at the table by the picture window, I gazed at the view while munching at my toast. The view was of the Golden Gate Bridge at the moment, before the earthquake of 2015 brought it down. They had rebuilt it, of course, but it wasn’t quite the same. Then the Eiffel Tower at night replaced the previous image and Mariette groaned.
‘Did you put that up for my benefit, Helena?’
‘Moi? asked Helena.
‘Oui, toi. I know that I have to revise, but I don’t need reminding, thank you very much!’
I laughed at that, nearly spilling my glass of orange juice.
After we finished our breakfast, I looked again at the brooch that Mariette was wearing and comparing it to mine.
‘Mariette, why is your brooch different to mine?’
‘Well, you notice that you only have two petals and mine has five?’
‘Yes.’
‘It denotes how far you have come in the school. You have two because you are on the second stage. I have five because I am on the fifth stage.’
‘What do you mean by stage?
‘You should ask your form teacher about that as it’s something that will be covered on your induction this afternoon. I’m not being evasive, but they have a strict teaching regime here that has been tested over the years and they tell you all you need to know as and when you need to know it. One thing you can be sure of though, is that they have your best interests at heart. You don’t have to take my word for it because you will see for yourself. Okay? Now I have to do some more studying, will you be okay for a while?’
‘I think so.’
‘Well it’s a lot to take in, so I’ll leave you to yourself for a while. If you want to speak to your friends–Tom and David, isn’t it?–just ask Helena and she will connect you. You can go into each other’s rooms, of course, but if you do, the rule is that the doors must stay open. It’s the same for all two petals–that’s you, by the way. When you go to three, the rule is relaxed. You might want to contact your parents too. Just ask Helena and she will try to get through to them, but some of the connections are a bit funny at the moment to India, but you might get lucky.’
‘Can I use the ’puter?’ I asked.
‘After induction, when you will be given the pass keys. Anything else?’
‘No–yes, thanks for helping me.’
She stood up and I followed. She turned, then hugged and kissed me on the cheek.
‘You are welcome, honey. Don’t forget, I’m here for you. If you need me, day or night, just call out, okay?’
‘Okay.’
With another hug and a wave, she left the room.
I stood up and walked to the mirror next to the closet. It felt weird wearing these clothes: I could really sense the skirt as it brushed up against my bare legs and the bra was somewhat restricting, making me aware of its presence all the time. Whether I would get used to it, I didn’t know at the moment. Then there was the silk blouse, soft and smooth against my skin; that was another strange sensation that was pleasant but totally foreign to me. Looking at my reflection, I shook my head, still not believing what a change of clothes and hairstyle had done for me. Standing in the doorway of the closet, I glanced to the right where all the non-uniform clothes were located. I was about to look through them but changed my mind–too much, too soon. I turned around and the door of the closet closed itself. I sat on the ’puter chair and turned it around so I was facing the vid screen.
‘Helena, can you try to reach my parents?’
‘Of course…one moment–’
The screen went blank for at least a couple of minutes, leaving me wondering how my parents would react to seeing their son looking like their daughter–
The vid came to life again and there were my parents, they were in the sitting room of the Ambassador’s residence. They were nearly six hours ahead of me so it was afternoon there.
‘Hi, Mum, Dad.’
My mother looked at me, astonished. Dad looked dumb struck too. The new, 3D holo-images were so lifelike that it almost seemed as though they were in the room with me.
‘Well say something–even laugh if you want to.’
‘Darling,’ said Mum, ‘you look…look, lovely.’
‘Yes, sweetheart,’ piped up Dad, looking rather shocked, ‘you look so much like your Mum when she was young and pretty.’ I smiled as Mum swatted Dad around the head and then turned back to me.
‘It’s true, John, you look beautiful. How are you feeling? Strange and upset, I expect.’
‘Helena, can we have privacy?’
‘Of course, John.’
I waited a moment and then answered.
‘I…I feel strange. It’s like I should be uncomfortable with this but I’m beginning to accept it. You don’t think that they have done something else, like drug me or other things when I was operated on?’
‘No honey; it would never happen that way. I would know and I promise you, no drugs will be given without the full knowledge or consent of your Dada and me.’
I smiled, remembering how I used to call Dad, Dada and Mum–Mummy.
‘Are you in any pain from the operation?’ asked Mum.
‘No, it’s almost as if I never had any bal–er–testicles.’
‘I’m sorry you’ve had to have this happen, honey. I think you are very brave.’
‘John,’ said Dad, ‘you are going to have it hard for a while but I know that you’ll get through it. You have an old head on your young shoulders and your thinking that you’re accepting things, a bit anyway, shows that I have every confidence that you’ll be someone we can be proud of.’
I could feel my eyes beginning to water and I could see that they were in the same way. After a moment, I asked the question that had been at the back of my mind since the transmission started.
‘Mum, Dad, what would you have called me if I had been born a girl?’
They looked at each other and then Mum spoke up.
‘We always dreamed that we might be the first parents to have a daughter after such a long period when no girl child was born. That doesn’t mean that we loved you any less when you were born but we did have a name–Rebecca.’
It was a nice name–for a girl. ‘M…may I use that name? I know that they will ask me–soon.’
‘Of course.’
‘Y—you won’t forget J—John, will you?’
Both my parents looked upset and ready to cry and my heart nearly broke because I wasn’t with them. Then Mum looked straight at me.
‘Never, you will always be our child, no matter what you look like outside, you will always be our baby–John or Rebecca, it’s only a name.’
Dad nodded and then spoke.
‘That goes for me too. We are both so proud of you.’ He stopped for a moment and then continued. ‘We so much want to be with you–we’ve missed you a lot. Problems in India and China are, if anything getting worse. There are more riots on the streets and the government are being ruthless in putting down insurgents. Since the Indo-China War, the unified government has been extreme in the treatment of their people, especially those who object to the methods used in gender changing. The UN are trying their best, as are the U.S of A & C, but until free and fair elections are held, things are going to be tough out here. What I am saying is that we will not be home for the foreseeable future so I want you to contact your Auntie Connie in Brighton. She’ll look after your interests. You know what she’s like–a bit scatty, but her heart’s in the right place and she’ll look over you and protect you, whatever happens. She knows about all this and is expecting a call, when you have time, all right?’
‘Yes, Dada,’
He smiled, but I could see from his face that he was very worried.
‘Rebecca.’
Who? Oh yes.
‘Sorry, Mum.’
‘It will take some time getting used to it darling. Look we have to go now. Ring us tomorrow. If we aren’t available, leave us a vidi-message.’
‘All right–love you both.’
‘Love you too, honey–and, Rebecca, you are very pretty.’
‘So are you, Mummy.’
‘Oh, get away with you!’
‘Bye, Dada, love you.’
‘Love you too, sweetheart, bye.’
The link went down and I was just left with the school crest on the screen.
I lay back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. I was very worried for my Mum and Dad. I hated the idea of them being in a country that looked like it was ready to explode. It put my little problems in the shade a bit. I would try my best to be the girl I was now destined to be. It would be hard, but for my parents and my sanity, I would try my best.
‘Privacy off , Helena.’
‘Thank you, John.’
‘I would like to be known as Rebecca from now on, Helena.’
‘That’s a nice name, Rebecca. Shall I alter the records and inform everyone who needs to know?’
‘Yes please.’
‘It is done. Your friends Tom and David wish to visit you. Do you wish to see them?’
I thought for a moment, a shiver of fear coursing through my body. Would they laugh at the way I looked or, worse still, would I laugh at them? Then I remembered the promise I made to myself–to try to be proud to be a girl.
‘Yes please.’ I replied, sitting up.
I stood and checked how I looked in the long mirror by the closet. Staring at my face I whispered ‘Rebecca,’ to myself and smiled shyly. The door chimed and I watched the colour drain from my cheeks.
‘It’s your friends, Rebecca.’
‘Open.’
I smoothed my skirt down and faced the door while it slid open quietly.
I stared at them and they stared at me––
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Susan Brown
Previously...
‘I would like to be known as Rebecca from now on, Helena.’
‘That’s a nice name, Rebecca. Shall I alter the records and inform everyone who needs to know?’
‘Yes please.’
‘It is done. Your friends Tom and David wish to visit you. Do you wish to see them?’
I thought for a moment, a shiver of fear coursing through my body. Would they laugh at the way I looked or, worse still, would I laugh at them? Then I remembered the promise I made to myself–to try to be proud to be a girl.
‘Yes please.’ I replied, sitting up.
I stood and checked how I looked in the long mirror by the closet. Staring at my face I whispered ‘Rebecca,’ to myself and smiled shyly. The door chimed and I watched the colour drain from my cheeks.
‘It’s your friends, Rebecca.’
‘Open.’
I smoothed my skirt down and faced the door while it slid open quietly.
I stared at them and they stared at me––
And now the story continues...
They stared at me and I stared at them. We said nothing–just stared. They were both dressed as I was, but because they–unlike me–had very short hair, they both wore what I assumed to be wigs, although they didn’t look like wigs. Their hair colour was the same as before, but now it cascaded to their shoulders.
‘Come in and sit down,’ I said, motioning with my hand and we settled in lounge chairs.
‘Want something to drink?’ I asked.
‘Zinga, please,’ replied David and Tom nodded that he wanted the same.
‘Three Zinga’s please, Helena.’
‘Coming up, Rebecca.’
A few seconds later the serving hatch opened and I passed around the drinks.
‘Privacy please, Helena.’
‘I’m sorry, but you are not three petals yet, so you can only have privacy when you are talking to relatives.’
‘Oh, ’I said, disappointed.
‘Do not worry, Rebecca, I am programmed only to pass on information that relates to your safety or the safety of others.’
‘Okay,’ I said.
‘Well,’ I said rather awkwardly, ‘you both look–nice.’
‘I like it,’ Tom said enthusiastically, smoothing down his skirt, ‘I’ve decided to call myself Bethany; your name is nice, Rebecca.’
‘It was my mum and dad’s choice if I’d been born a girl.’
I looked across to David who, as yet had not said much.
‘David, have you chosen a girl’s name?’
‘No,’ he snapped back.
Looking at him, I could see that he was upset and really felt for him.
‘You don’t accept all this, do you, David?’
He looked at me. It seemed strange calling him David, dressed like that.
‘No, I—I hate it. I told them I wasn’t suitable and I don’t know how I got through the selection process, but they said I was rated seventy two percent and that was within the acceptable criteria. I am a boy and I want to stay one. They might pump me full of drugs and I have had the operation like you, but I’m still a boy–I am,’ he finished, whispering.
I went and hugged him; we were all tearful by then. I didn’t know what to say; I hadn’t wanted this to happen to me, but I knew that I had no choice. I could kick and scream about it until Armageddon, but it wouldn’t make one iota of difference. That didn’t mean that I didn’t think that it was unfair to arbitrarily take children away, change their bodies into something different. It was just the way it was. Looking at David, I could see that he needed help, badly.
‘Have you told your Helper about how you feel?’ I asked.
He stood up and started pacing the room.
‘She’s no help, she’s been programmed by the system, she’s all girl and proud of it. She toes the line and keeps telling me that I should be proud to be one of The Chosen, whatever that means.’
He sat on the bed and put his head in his hands. I looked at Bethany, raising my eyebrows. She, and I call her she as she obviously liked being a girl, looked upset at the conflict that David was experiencing. We didn’t know what to do help him.
‘Helena, David is upset, what can he do?’
‘I sense her unhappiness. Not everyone accepts what has happened to them and they require extra help and support to see them through a difficult time. David?’
He looked up, tears streaming down his face. ‘What?’ he sniffed.
‘Would you like to go back to your room; someone will be there to see you in a few moments.’
‘Not my Helper?’
‘No, your personal counsellor; she will try to help you get over this.’
‘I don’t want help; I want to be a boy again!’
‘I know, David, but at least talk to her.’
After a moment, David got up and looked over to us.
‘You know, I wish could just let go and give in like you two obviously have. I hate being like this–it makes me feel such a–a sissy.’
He didn’t say anything else and just left, leaving Bethany and I staring at the closing door.
‘Have we just given in?’ I asked Bethany.
She looked at me, still upset about David. ‘No, I haven’t given in, as he calls it. I have always felt more girl than boy, so this is a dream come true to me. What about you?’
‘I don’t like it, I never have, but I knew that there was always going to be a big chance that I might have to become a girl. As I was growing up, I did wonder what it would be like to be female. Having diplomats for parents made me look at things dispassionately, weighing up the pros and cons and trying to make decisions based on the facts. I don’t think being a girl is so terrible; the thing is we didn’t have a choice and that was what has upset me. Mind you, I liked being a boy and given the choice, I would’ve stayed one. You would have thought that there would be enough boys in the world happy or at least with few objections to be changed into girls, but evidently there aren’t.’
‘So do you want to be called a he or she?’
I thought for a moment.
‘She; looking like this and knowing that I can’t be a boy again–I no longer have the right equipment to be a ‘he’. That doesn’t mean that I’m happy about it, but accept it. I am not going to bang my head against a wall over it–it’d give me a really, really bad headache!’
We both grinned at my feeble attempt at a joke.
‘Girls, please go to room 270, it is time for your Induction Class,’
‘How do we get there?’ I asked, getting up.
‘Follow the green line on the floor and it will take you to the meeting room.’
‘What about David?’ asked Bethany, ‘will she…I mean he be there?’
‘No, she is being helped in her room and will take Induction when she is ready; now please hurry.’
We left my room and immediately saw the illuminated green line on the corridor floor leading to the left with pulsing arrows. Glancing at each other, we just shrugged and followed the arrows. A few others, dressed the same as us, followed the arrows too and soon we entered what appeared to be a lecture theatre with seats rising towards the back. At the front was a podium upon which was a lectern with a lady standing behind it, illuminated by a high-tech lighting system. Behind her was a large screen with the school crest displayed upon it.
I suppose there were about twenty children in the room. Glancing at the expressions on the faces of the ones I passed, some looked happy, others sad, one or two scared and one girl looked like she had been crying. Bethany and I found a seat about half way back and to the side.
A few latecomers arrived after us and then the doors of the theatre closed silently and the lights dimmed apart from the one that illuminated the lectern and the lady.
She was keying in something while everyone was settling down. She was, I suppose, about forty with long brown hair and was impeccably dressed in a cream coloured business suit comprising a , tailored jacket and skirt, white silk blouse, black stockings or tights and black heels. She appeared very poised and pretty.
After a moment, she looked up and smiled.
‘Welcome to your new home, girls. I hope you have all settled in all right. This is what we call the Induction. It isn’t too heavy, but it is just to give you an idea about what is happening and what is going to happen to you over the next few days and months. You do not have to make any notes as you will have a vid of this, together with a package of notes, brochures and other useful material when you return to your rooms.’
‘My name is Amanda Jones and I am the principal of the Girls’ School. We like to be as honest as possible with you, and where we can, we will answer any questions that you might have at what must be, for many of you, a very traumatic time. Some of the children are so traumatised, they are not deemed ready for Induction yet. Those girls–and yes we always call them girls because it helps–need extra support to get through this difficult period in their lives. Some of you are happy to become girls, perhaps because you are transgendered, or are not bothered what sex you are; others have accepted that they have to go with the flow. Whatever your circumstances, we will help you with your transition wherever we are able.’ She paused for a moment to have a drink of water and then continued.
‘All of you have been told why it is necessary to have this rather extreme set of procedures to ensure the continuation of our race. You would have had to have lived in a hole in the ground not to know about the riots, civil unrest and wars involving other countries over the issue of turning healthy young men and boys into females. Often it is because of religious beliefs or bigotry or even fear that makes people behave in such a manner. Thousands–if not millions–have died or are living in fear. Totalitarian regimes have sprung up everywhere in the power vacuums caused by the unrest and the fall of democratically elected governments. After the Indo-China war, China overran India and has amalgamated it into in the Chinese Empire comprising of most of the countries of the Far East including, of course, Japan. It is only because of our orbiting weapons’ satellites overhead that China has stopped her warmongering. We hope and pray that no more aggressive acts will occur from that quarter.’
I gazed around the dim theatre and saw that everyone was intent on her words. Of course we had all heard this before, but as we were now deeply involved in the process of being changed, somehow it seemed all the more personal and not just about other countries on a map. It all seemed very strange, sitting here as a girl with others who were in the same predicament, listening to this woman’s calm voice telling us that the world was in turmoil and all because of a gender crisis. Her words had brought home the fact that my parents were in India and that that country was one of the worst affected. I wondered, with an ache in my heart, when I would see them again.
‘Other countries have been able to deal with the crisis better. The United States of America joined with Canada in a new united country, following the world’s financial crisis ten years ago. Australia and New Zealand did the same to counter the threat from China to their north.
Some countries have stayed independent but in loose alliance like the European Union which has just welcomed Russia into its ranks. The Middle East is the other hot spot and there is very little news coming out of that vast area. What we do know is that there have been riots, civil unrest, murders, executions and enforced feminisation of babies and young boys. Regrettably, many countries have gone down a similar route and it is in those countries that we find the greatest unrest.
So we have the situation that some countries have come together either by force or mutual agreement; others are under repressive and totalitarian rule and I have not even touched on Africa or South America. These will be covered on another occasion.’
Once again she stopped to take a sip of water. She continued; ‘What has this got to do with you and your current situation? I am just highlighting that you are lucky to live in a country that has been able to weather the storm and is in the forefront of trying to find a solution to the problem of the total lack of girl births. We think that we are close to a solution and you are very lucky to be here at this exciting time. This is not an ordinary school. We are part of a quartet of schools that are different and special–one here in England, another in Scotland, a third in Wales and yet another in Eire. These schools were selected as the prime establishments for the research and implementation of Project Phoenix. You girls are The Chosen. The girls who will be part of the treatment that gives us hope for the future.’
She looked around, beaming at us, as if she had given us the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I wasn’t so sure, as I didn’t much fancy being part of an extended experiment, if that’s what it was. I would speak to mum and dad about this later.
‘So, let’s return to practicalities. Your lessons will begin tomorrow and you will be continuing the same courses you were taking when you were in the boys’ school, but slightly shorter in length. This will enable you to have additional lessons that concentrate on your femininity. A uPad will be supplied to you for portable ’puter use especially at lectures and a mini uPad for your personal communications use. Your ’puter has a unique password which will be supplied to you in your pack. On your ‘puters and uPads you will find your schedules and any changes about which you need to know.
Also, there will be details of any treatments that are deemed necessary for you to undertake. Every morning, lunch break and before bed, you will be given some medicine and pills to take. Please ensure that you do take them as they will be monitored and are for your own good. Now, the rest of day is free and you may dress informally. Take a look at your clothes and try some on. Makeup is allowed when not in school time and extracurricular lessons are available for any beauty treatments that you wish to try and learn about. If you have any worries and problems, talk to your ’puter, Helper or, if necessary, your Unit Head. We are all here to help you have a smooth transition and above all, to enjoy the experience.’
With that, she beamed at us and then left the podium and walked through a side door. The lights faded up and we all stood up to leave. There was a buzz of conversation around the room as we left the theatre. Bethany and I didn’t say much while others were around us, but waited until we arrived outside Bethany’s room.
‘Want to come in?’ she asked.
‘Okay,’ I said.
‘Open.’
The door slid open and we entered. The room was a carbon copy of mine and we were soon settled in the easy chairs drinking Zinga and talking quietly about what we had been told.
Bethany looked up.
‘Tina, any chance of privacy?’
‘Sorry, Bethany, you know the rules, but I won’t say a word as long as you aren’t too naughty!’
I smiled at that, it seemed that every ’puter had a different sort of personality. Her voice was slightly higher than Helena’s and seemed younger, more bubbly, somehow.
‘So, what d’you think?’ I asked.
‘About what?’
‘The Principal: I notice she doesn’t call herself Headmistress.’
‘Same thing.’
‘You think so? I don’t know; and what about this special treatment The Chosen have?’
‘I don’t know. As long as it doesn’t like, hurt us and maybe gives us a chance to give birth to girls, I’m okay with it.’
I gazed at her and nearly said what was in my mind, but held back and said something else entirely; ‘So, you don’t mind the thought of actually giving birth to a baby?’
‘I think that would be like soooo neat. Me, a mum–how like, kewl is that?’
I shook my head–Bethany was obviously all girl already. ‘I’m still getting used to the idea that I have no male equipment except for a useless penis,’ I told her, ‘I’ll have to take time to accept it all. I wonder how David’s doing? Tina, can we visit David?’
‘No, sweetheart, she is still being–’ there was a brief pause–‘looked after.’
I wondered what she meant by ‘looked after’ but said nothing–was it some sort of counselling? I finished my drink and then got to my feet. ‘See you at lunch?’ I said.
‘Yeah, that’ll be great. I want to try on something pretty, will you?’
‘I suppose.’ I said, smiling sadly. I wished that I had been able to accept all this as readily as Bethany obviously had, but until I had at least spoken to my parents, I held back.
‘Open.’ I said and left Bethany to her fantasies.
When I got back to my room I sat in the chair opposite the ’puter screen.
‘Helena, can you try and reach my parents, please?’
‘Certainly, Rebecca.’
There was a pause for a few moments Helena came back.
‘Sorry, Bethany, there is no reply, perhaps they are in meetings.’
‘Can you keep trying?’
‘Of course, and I’ll leave a message on their vid and ’puter too.’
‘Thank you.’
I approached the wardrobe, said, ‘Open.’ and the doors slid apart silently.
I took off my uniform and sent the clothes down the laundry chute, leaving myself in just my bra and panties.
Searching on the right-hand side, I did a bit of exploration, and soon had clothes strewn over the floor, chairs and bed. They were all my size–natch–and went from the plain to the downright exotic. There were clothes for all occasions between almost slob–but not quite–to ball gown although I didn’t think that I would wear one of those in the near future!
In the end I picked out a strappy cotton top and denim skirt, finishing off with sandals on my bare feet. After putting everything on and looking at myself in the mirror, I gazed at my reflection. I didn’t look much like boy, more androgynous I supposed, leaning towards the feminine side. The hair style sort of reinforced the look and I must say that I didn’t think that it would take much to make me fully passable as a girl.
Sighing, I tore my eyes from the mirror and began tidying up. The place looked as if a bomb had hit it. After making the room more respectable I turned to the ’puter.
‘Helena, any luck with reaching my parents yet?
‘No, Rebecca, I am having some trouble getting through. I am trying different methods, but it appears that there is a communications breakdown at the moment. These have been occurring more frequently of late. I will let you know as soon as things improve.’
‘Thanks, Helena,’ I said, not really worried because, as Helena said, these things happen a lot.
I went over to the table by the side of my ’puter terminal and began glancing through the things that had been delivered while I was at the Induction.
There were loads of things to read and I didn’t much fancy that, so I set them aside for a bedtime read. Then I picked up the uPad. I had seen them before, of course. It was similar to the one that I had had at the boys’ school. As I touched the screen, the school crest came up. With a password box in the middle. Remembering that I didn’t have the password yet, I asked Helena.
‘It has been set to rebecca, but you will have to change it.’
‘Thanks, Helena.’
‘rebecca.’ I said to the screen and it immediately opened up with another box that asked me to type in a new password. I thought for a moment and typed in dadamummy912 directly on the screen using the type-pad that had appeared at the bottom. I was asked to repeat it, which I did and the screen confirmed that the password had been accepted and went into welcome mode.
There was a menu of quick-start items such as calendar, diary, schedule and notes, together with other apps which were considered useful. I was asked about my preferences, like did I want voice commands and responses or on-screen typing? I chose typing because you never know who might be ear-wigging.
Most of the rest was exactly the same as the one I had over on the boys’ side. In fact all my files had been transferred to this one, so I had my pictures, vid’s and music as well as my email and other personal files.
There was also a mini-uPad that evidently I had to carry around in the brown shoulder bag provided for me. Realising that skirts and dresses don’t usually have pockets; I thought that I would have to use it to carry things like my brush and other personal items as well as the mini uPad.
‘Lunch is in fifteen minutes, Rebecca.’
‘Thanks, Helena.’ I closed the uPad down and went to freshen up. After using the toilet and brushing my hair I was ready.
‘Helena, any news about India?’
‘Not yet, honey.’
‘How do I get to the restaurant?’
‘Follow the orange line and arrows.’
‘Are Bethany and David ready yet?’
‘I’ll ask–’ There was a short pause–‘David will not be going down for lunch as she isn’t ready yet, but Bethany will meet you outside her room.’
‘Thanks, Helena. Open,’ I told the door and it slid open. After picking up my bag and slinging it over my shoulder, I quitted my room. The pulsing orange line and arrows were indicating that I should go to the right, which was good, ’cause it passed Bethany’s door a few metres down the corridor.
As I approached her door, it slid open and Bethany exited. I raised my eyebrows when I saw that she had gone down the ultra feminine route and was wearing a pale pink calf-length dress, white hose and shoes with a low heel. She had her hair up with pink ribbons and also a small amount of makeup; something I wasn’t happy about doing for myself.
‘Hello,’ she said, smiling with glossy pink lips.
‘Hi, you look, erm, nice.’
‘Thanks, you too, though you can dress up a bit, you know.’
‘I know, but I’m still rather uncomfortable with everything.’
‘Sorry, I forgot that this is all new to you. I have been dressing up since I was six and it’s so nice to be like this all the time.’
‘Why didn’t you just wear the clothes when you were younger? There aren’t hang-ups about it. Many boys who are transgendered do it.’
‘Well, my parents being ultra conservative and orthodox have never really liked the liberal times and only allowed me to wear girls’ things in the house. Then when I came to school, I had to promise them that I wouldn’t do anything that would bring shame on them. Ridiculous really, but I love them and wouldn’t go against their wishes. Now though, things have changed and they’re proud that I’ve been chosen.’
All this was said as we walked to the restaurant. Others were going the same way too. People were dressed in all sorts of things from the formal to the informal and I was a bit alarmed that if anything I was more out of place than Bethany. The girls at the school seemed to love their femininity and dressed accordingly. I wondered if I would ever be like them and feel comfortable with all the satin, lace and ribbons. Sighing I thought that I must speak with my parents just as soon as I could.
We sat at a six person table with four other girls, there were two three-petals, and two four-petals apart from us, so there was a mix of ages. Everyone introduced themselves while we waited for our selected meals to come up through the server in the centre of the table.
When the meals arrived, I noticed that there was a little cup for everyone each containing three pills, also a small glass containing green liquid. The others took their pills and medicine without much thought and Bethany eagerly followed their lead. I hesitated and put the drugs by the side of my plate. I picked up the knife and fork and then a disembodied voice spoke up.
‘Please take your medication before commencing your meal, Rebecca.’
With considerable reluctance, I did as I was told and then continued with my meal. I wondered what the drugs would do to me and how soon they would begin to take effect. I nearly asked the others but I just left it. I would speak to my parents about it.
As the meal progressed, I listened to the conversations going on around me; everyone seemed to be talking about clothes, fashions and the latest trends. Makeup was discussed at length and what they would do when they left school; the predominant thought being finding a nice man to settle down with and most importantly, have children - preferably girls.
I could see that Bethany was lapping it all up and I tried to join in, but my heart wasn’t in it. I did wonder if I would ever get to be like these girls, accepting what was happening and revelling in girlhood. I knew that I had to make the most of my situation and hoped I would be happy one day. I felt for David who, obviously, felt much worse than I about things.
After lunch, I returned to my room, saying that I needed to speak to my parents. Bethany stayed with the others and didn’t seem to even notice much that I was leaving. I was a bit hurt at that, but realised that she was just excited about all of her dreams coming true.
Back in my room I sat down and shut my eyes for a moment. I must have fallen asleep, as the illuminated clock on the ceiling showed it was 17:30 when I awoke with a start.
‘Rebecca.’
‘Yes, Helena.’
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘Yes, I suppose I was tired and didn’t realise it.’
‘You have a visitor, will you see her?’
‘Yes.’ I said, thinking that it was probably Bethany, all bubbly and girlie.
The door slid open and my eyes opened wide with surprise on discovering my visitor to be the principal, Amanda Jones.
‘Don’t get up, Rebecca,’ she said as she came over and sat beside me.
‘I understand you’ve been trying to reach your parents?’
‘Yes. Helena hasn’t had much luck yet.’
She looked at me with compassion in her eyes and I wondered–with more than a little dread–what was going on. She grasped my hands gently; ‘I have been informed by Central Government that the borders of India have been closed and that our embassy is under siege. All messages and communications are being blocked and the situation is extremely tense. There have been strong protests by our government, but as such, appear to have fallen on deaf ears. Other embassies have been similarly affected, especially the U.S of A & C where there have been reports of gunfire. I don’t know what will happen, Rebecca, but as soon as we receive any news, you will be told.’
I stared at her with horror. All my worst nightmares were happening and there was nothing I could do about it. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and, in seconds, I was being embraced by the warm, soft arms of the principal.
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Things became somewhat muddled for me after that. I remember crying–a lot. Ms Jones tried to comfort me, but my brain was overloading with frightening thoughts of what my parents might be experiencing...
Susan Brown
Previously...
‘Rebecca.’
‘Yes, Helena.’
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘Yes, I suppose I was tired and didn’t realise it.’
‘You have a visitor, will you see her?’
‘Yes.’ I said, thinking that it was probably Bethany, all bubbly and girlie.
The door slid open and my eyes opened wide with surprise on discovering my visitor to be the principal, Amanda Jones.
‘Don’t get up, Rebecca,’ she said as she came over and sat beside me.
‘I understand you’ve been trying to reach your parents?’
‘Yes. Helena hasn’t had much luck yet.’
She looked at me with compassion in her eyes and I wondered–with more than a little dread–what was going on. She grasped my hands gently; ‘I have been informed by Central Government that the borders of India have been closed and that our embassy is under siege. All messages and communications are being blocked and the situation is extremely tense. There have been strong protests by our government, but as such, appear to have fallen on deaf ears. Other embassies have been similarly affected, especially the U.S of A & C where there have been reports of gunfire. I don’t know what will happen, Rebecca, but as soon as we receive any news, you will be told.’
I stared at her with horror. All my worst nightmares were happening and there was nothing I could do about it. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and, in seconds, I was being embraced by the warm, soft arms of the principal.
And now the story continues…
Things became somewhat muddled for me after that. I remember crying–a lot. Ms Jones tried to comfort me, but my brain was overloading with frightening thoughts of what my parents might be experiencing. Here I was, thousands of miles from them and unable to do anything about the situation. I felt myself being wound up like the spring in an old-fashioned clock, so I must have been in a bad way. Moments later, I felt a hiss and pressure against my neck and everything went blank.
When I awoke, I was in bed and the lights were dimmed down. I felt very disorientated, thinking initially that I was in my old room back at the boys’ school. Then I felt the silky fabric of the nightdress against my hairless skin and it all came back to me. Feeling down below confirmed it for me as I felt the empty sac where once my testicles had been. It all came flooding back; my feminisation, moving school, my parents…
I must admit that the thought of Mummy and Dada in India, under siege–maybe fighting for their very lives–made me want to break down again; but I had taught by my parents to be strong and not to give in where there was hope. So for their sake as well as my own, I tried to stifle any hopeless or defeatist feelings that even now were bubbling to the surface.
I moved in my bed and stretched and the lights came up a bit to half strength.
‘Rebecca, how are you feeling, dear?’ The ’puter screen had lit up.
‘Hello, Helena, I feel rather tired, I suppose and still very worried; any news?’
‘No, honey; the Principal is trying her best to find out the position but it appears that all signals, including ’puter coms are being blocked.
‘What time is it?’
‘Twenty-two hundred, are you hungry?’
‘No, but I’m thirsty though.’
‘Would you like to order a bedtime drink?’
‘Hot chocolate, please?’
The drink came quickly and I got up and went over to the serving hatch to fetch it. There were also three pills in a paper cup and some pink fluid in a glass, next to my hot drink. I looked at the medications and grimaced.
‘Helena, do I have to take this stuff?’
‘Yes dear, whether you eat or not, you must take what is prescribed for you; it’s for your own good.’
‘Is it?’ I whispered to myself, as I picked up the pills and washed them down with the strawberry flavoured medicine.
‘What’s in the pills and medicine, Helena?’
‘Things to help accelerate your treatment.’
‘How long will it take for me to be fully changed?’
‘It depends on the individual; for some it takes only a few months for others, up to a year unless treatment is accelerated.’
I walked across the room, my nightdress sliding across my skin and giving me pleasurable goose bumps and sat in one of the deep padded chairs. I stared at the wall vid, which was showing Sidney Opera House, lit up at night, but my mind was on other things.
Sipping my drink, trying to take my mind off thoughts about my parents, I continued quizzing Helena for information. ‘What do you mean by accelerated treatment?’
‘That will be covered in your lessons, so you don’t need to worry about that, at the moment.’
‘How is David?’
‘Davina is doing fine and you should see her tomorrow.’
‘Davina?’
‘Yes, it is a pretty name and it suits her.’
‘Did he… choose it?’
‘Yes, she did. I think that she is now feeling a bit better about things and I am sure that she is happier now. For some girls, it’s quite difficult to go through all of this and that is why we try and help wherever we can.’
‘David, I mean Davina was very upset about being changed.’
‘I know, but after going through some things with the doctors and her personal councillor, she felt a little better.’
I sat staring at the Opera House for a few moments, it was a live vid and |I could see boat’s lights slowly cross the harbour, but my thoughts were not on the vid but on Davina, Bethany, myself and above all my parents.
I went over to my uPad and sent my parents an email; perhaps that might get through when other forms of communication wouldn’t. I made sure that it was encrypted just in case. We were told that we had privacy, but you never know–
Hi Mummy and Dada,I am very concerned about you as I have heard that you are under siege. Please let me know that you are all right soon as I am so worried about you.
I am trying to get used to things here, but am still finding it hard to feel part of this and it is difficult to get excited about being a girl with all that is happening to you. My friend Tom, who is now Bethany just loves it and can’t wait to be a fully functioning girl and be some sort of baby machine when she can find a man who would have her. At our age, I think that we are too young to think about marrying , having babies and stuff like that. The thought that I might actually get pregnant one day fills me with alarm. My other friend David is very unhappy and I wonder how he is going to survive in a place like this.
Far my part, as you know, I never wanted this but am trying hard to make the best of it. I do wonder about things though. The Principal says that we are part of Project Phoenix but was vague about what it was. Do you know anything about it as I am worried that we are some sort of lab rats, testing different treatments until they come up with the right mix to allow us to give birth to girls.
Anyway, I had better go now. Please, please, please, contact me as soon as possible.
I love you both so much and miss you terribly.
All my love
Rebecca
XXXXXXX
I finished my drink and suddenly felt quite tired. I wanted to ask Helena some more questions but couldn’t really be bothered. I wondered if there was something in the drink or the medication that made me feel that way but I soon found myself in bed again and fell asleep almost immediately.
I awoke the next morning to a gentle chiming coming from the ’puter.
‘Good morning, Rebecca,’
‘Morning, Helena.’ I said as I sat up stretched and yawned.
‘It’s eight fifteen and must to go to breakfast soon. Lessons commence at nine forty-five.’
‘Any news?’
‘About your parents, no, not yet, but as soon as we know, you will be informed. You need to try to take your mind off your worries a bit, so I suggest that you just carry on as normal.’
‘If you say so,’ I said, far from convinced.
I got up, slipped my nightdress off and put it down the chute and then went into the shower room. I put the shower cycle on morning wakeup and was soon being battered by cold and hot water alternating–then after the soap, rinse and dry cycles I stepped out of the shower feeling more awake than when I went in.
I went over to the long mirror and looked at myself, scratching a nipple that felt a bit ticklish for some reason. I didn’t know if I would be ‘instant girl,’ and needed confirmation that I was still–notionally anyway–a boy. After the medication that I had taken, I sort of dreaded finding some confirmation that I was bursting out all over into girlhood, but I thought that I looked the same as yesterday.
I dressed in my uniform of pink and blue check knee-length skirt, a white blouse with a collar, and neckerchief of the same check as the skirt. I took three goes at doing the neckerchief to get it right and hoped that I would get better at it soon. Then put on my white knee high socks and black low heeled shoes. After brushing my hair that somehow seemed a bit longer and somewhat softer than yesterday, I stood back and looked at myself. I thought that I looked rather pretty.
I stopped at that thought, wondering where it had come from. Was I getting to accept all this too easily and why wasn’t I thinking more about Mummy and Dada?
Shaking my head to rid myself of those negative thoughts, I was just about to go when Helena spoke up.
‘Rebecca, your friends Bethany and Davina are at the door and ask if they may come in?’
‘Of course.’ I replied, checking my reflection in the mirror and straightening my skirt.
The door slid open and I turned to greet them. ‘Hi guys, how are you?’ I was observing Davina as I spoke and wondered how he, I mean she was feeling after yesterday.
‘Fine thanks,’ said Davina with a grin that was more like her old self–when she was a he, that is–‘sorry for being such a baby about things, I’m feeling much better now.’
Judging by the smile on her face and the way she looked, she certainly seemed better. Perhaps she had had a change of heart or something? Anyway I wasn’t going to analyse it now.
‘Sorry to hear about your parents,’ said Bethany, coming over and giving me a hug. Soon it was a three way hug as Davina joined in. I nearly got a bit tearful at that, but seemed to pull myself together like a strong girl should. I did notice as we embraced that they both smelt rather nice.
I stepped back and looked at them.
‘Are you both wearing perfume?’ I asked.
‘Yes,’ said Davina, ‘Mine is called ‘Misty Morning’.’
‘Mmm, and mine is called ‘Enchantment’, dreamy fragrance, isn’t it?’
‘Very nice.’ I said as I went over to my dresser and had a look at what I should try. I wasn’t going to be the odd one out!
I soon found a perfume that seemed ‘me’ and I spritzed myself in ‘Contentment,’ strange name but it smelt lovely.
We joined the other girls in the corridor that led to the dining room and began chatting away, nineteen to the dozen. At one point, I sort of stopped and wondered why I felt so contented, when yesterday I had been more than a tad unhappy and also, I wondered briefly why I wasn’t as upset about my parents. Then, realising that I was making the most of my situation and not worrying about things that were totally out of my control, I just shrugged and continued to the dining room, sitting in the same seat as yesterday.
I ordered some porridge and like yesterday, I had three pills and some medicine to take, like the others. This time, I was content to take the medication, realising that it must be doing me some good–otherwise why would I be given it?
In next to no time we were talking animatedly about things that I would never have dreamed of discussing as a boy, like clothes, makeup and when we would finally be changed into full girls; how we would marry and hopefully have some children. I was pleased that Davina appeared to be as enthusiastic about girlhood as any of us. She had pretty eyes, I noticed and the pupils looked quite large. I wondered for the moment why that would be and then dismissed it as my being silly; but it was really nice to see Davina happy at last.
My mini uPad went off so I took it out of my shoulder bag. There was a message on the screen.
‘Rebecca, please return to your room.’
‘I have to go, girls.’ They all looked up, smiled and waved and then carried on with their conversation.
I was soon back in my room, wondering what was happening and why I was asked to return here. I did wonder if it had something to do with my parents. Perhaps there was some news–
‘Hello, Rebecca, your personal counsellor will be here shortly.’
‘Why do I need to see her?’
‘She will explain, dear.’
‘Is there any news about my parents yet?’
There was a brief pause.
‘No, I have checked and there is still no news coming out. We do know that the embassy is still under siege as we have managed to get links through to the Swedish embassy who, as yet have not been targeted. When we have more information, I will be sure to let you know.’
‘Thanks, Helena.’
‘You are welcome…your personal counsellor is outside, can she enter?’
‘Yes please,’ I said turning to the door as it slid silently open.
A woman walked in dressed in the same style as the Principal, a cream coloured business suit with a tailored jacket and skirt, white silk blouse, black stockings and black heels. She was, I would say about thirty to thirty five with long, dark platted hair and a pleasant smile on her pretty dark face. I would say that she was Afro-Caribbean in looks and her lovely chocolate skin was flawless.
‘Hello, Rebecca,’ she said approaching me and giving me a gentle hug. ‘I’m Juliette Stevens and I am, for my sins, your personal counsellor.’
‘Erm, hello Ms Stevens…’
‘…Juliette, please, we are all friends here and we prefer first names, it’s so much less formal, don’t you think? Shall we sit down and then we can have a chat.’
We both sat in deep leather chairs facing each other. I didn’t know what to say, so left it for Juliette to start.
‘Shall we have a drink first? Decaf for me, Helena, usual strength; Rebecca?’
‘Zinga please, Helena.’
Soon we were sipping our drinks and Juliette began explaining the reason for her visit. ‘It’s nothing bad, I have ten girls in this year who are my responsibility and you are one of them. As you are going through a few problems regarding your parents, I thought that I should see you first.’
I drank some more Zinga as Juliette in her pleasant, soothing voice continued. ‘How do you feel about your parents, Rebecca?’
‘What d’you mean?’
‘Are you worried about them?’
‘Yes, of course I am–very worried–it’s not knowing what’s happened to them and whether they’re safe and well.’
‘I understand, honey, it must be very hard. How do you feel about being here?’
I yawned, feeling a bit tired. I took another sip of my drink, for some reason I was quite thirsty, as I considered my reply.
‘Sorry for yawning. Erm, well it’s very nice and people have been really good to me. It’s all new though and I am finding it a bit hard to get used to all this.’ I waved vaguely at my school uniform and then the room in general.
‘That’s understandable, Rebecca, it’s very hard for some people but easier for others.’
‘Like Bethany?’
‘Yes, Bethany is one of the lucky ones. As you know, she has always wanted to be a girl, but of course you haven’t.’
‘No, that’s true. I think Davina is happier about it now, she was very upset yesterday.’
‘Yes she was but she has changed her view, which is nice as she will assimilate nicely now.’
I fleetingly wondered what she meant by “assimilate” but she carried on speaking. To be honest I was feeling very tired by now.
‘Sorry,’ I yawned, ‘you said something?’
‘Yes, I said that you do look rather tired. I think that things have caught up with you. It might be a good idea to go to bed for a while.’
‘What about lessons?’ I asked blearily.
‘You are excused lessons today due to your personal problems. Look, you had better put on your nightie and pop into bed. I’ll wait out here.’
I stood up and sort of stumbled over to the wardrobe. Somehow I got out of my uniform and put on my short pink nightie and returned into the bedroom. Juliette was still sitting on her chair sipping her drink and looking at her mini uPad as I went to the bed and sat down heavily.
She looked up and smiled.
‘Ready? That’s good. In to bed then and I’ll stay with you until you are settled.
I slipped between the cool cotton sheets and rested my head on the soft pillow. I was very relaxed and closed my eyes. I sensed that Juliette had sat down beside me and then I felt the cool touch of her hand on mine.
‘Is that better, Rebecca?’ she asked softly.
‘Mmm.’ I replied, feeling nice and rather floppy.
‘Good, so tell me how you feel about the school?’
I didn’t remember replying and must have fallen asleep, as I woke up some time later with a slight headache but feeling wonderfully relaxed. I enjoyed the sensuous feeling of my nightdress as it caressed my body under the warm covers.
I felt refreshed and wanted to get up, so I jumped out of bed.
‘Helena, what time is it?’
‘Eight fifteen, Rebecca. You must have a shower and put on your uniform because breakfast is in forty minutes.’
‘Any news about my parents?’
‘Talks have recommenced between the respective governments and things should hopefully be sorted out soon.’
‘That is good news,’ I exclaimed happily as I bounced out of bed, took off my nightie and put it down the chute. Then I had an invigorating shower that helped rid me of my slight headache. It did not take me long to put on my uniform and I even managed to tie my neckerchief the first time. Things were certainly looking up!
I brushed my hair, noticing how long it had got and then as I scratched my sensitive nipples distractedly. I looked at my face and in particular, my eyes, noticing how dilated my pupils were. I shrugged, discounting it as other things came to mind. It was strange that I had slept so long, I must have been in a bad way yesterday, I thought.
As soon as I was ready, I left my room. Outside were a smiling Bethany and Davina; I could smell their perfume as I joined them. ‘Oh, I am a silly girl,’ I exclaimed, ‘I forgot to put any scent on. You go on ahead and I’ll catch you up.’
I returned to my room and opened to the dresser. Picking up the perfume bottle, I spritzed myself, breathing in the heady fragrance and then after giving my hair another quick brush, I felt ready for the world.
As I headed towards the dining room I wondered what would be happening today and how much further down the road to femininity I would proceed. I didn’t wonder about the lost hours, my dilated pupils, my euphoria, the acceptance of my situation or the fact that I still hadn’t spoken to my parents.
Perhaps I should have?
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
As we sat, eating our breakfasts, I was in a very happy mood, as were the others. I did, however, notice that a few of the tables had empty places and wondered fleetingly if there were still some girls who didn’t accept what had happened yet...
Susan Brown
Previously...
‘Any news about my parents?’
‘Talks have recommenced between the respective governments and things should hopefully be sorted out soon.’
‘That is good news,’ I exclaimed happily as I bounced out of bed, took off my nightie and put it down the chute. Then I had an invigorating shower that helped rid me of my slight headache. It did not take me long to put on my uniform and I even managed to tie my neckerchief the first time. Things were certainly looking up!
I brushed my hair, noticing how long it had got and then as I scratched my sensitive nipples distractedly. I looked at my face and in particular, my eyes, noticing how dilated my pupils were. I shrugged, discounting it as other things came to mind. It was strange that I had slept so long, I must have been in a bad way yesterday, I thought.
As soon as I was ready, I left my room. Outside were a smiling Bethany and Davina; I could smell their perfume as I joined them. ‘Oh, I am a silly girl,’ I exclaimed, ‘I forgot to put any scent on. You go on ahead and I’ll catch you up.’
I returned to my room and opened to the dresser. Picking up the perfume bottle, I spritzed myself, breathing in the heady fragrance and then after giving my hair another quick brush, I felt ready for the world.
As I headed towards the dining room I wondered what would be happening today and how much further down the road to femininity I would proceed. I didn’t wonder about the lost hours, my dilated pupils, my euphoria, the acceptance of my situation or the fact that I still hadn’t spoken to my parents.
Perhaps I should have?
And now the story continues…
As we sat, eating our breakfasts, I was in a very happy mood, as were the others. I did, however, notice that a few of the tables had empty places and wondered fleetingly if there were still some girls who didn’t accept what had happened yet and were receiving some sort of special treatment. However, as soon as we got onto the subject of boys, all such thoughts flew out of my head.
I had, of course, had sex-ed while I was in boys’ school and knew about things from the male perspective. Any thoughts of having children had never crossed my mind, even though I knew that there was a possibility that I would be chosen for girlhood at some future date. Like everyone, we didn’t think too far into the future and just got on with our lives.
Now I was looking at it from a more feminine perspective and I was vaguely surprised that it didn’t seem to worry me very much; rather I felt a frisson of excitement at the thought of boys and having babies.
I became aware that the other girls felt the same and we all spoke animatedly about what type of boy we would like to go out with and how soon we would be allowed to have a proper boy friend. Davina, if anything was almost more enthusiastic than the others and it was amazing to see the U-turn in her feelings about her transition.
Once we had finished breakfast, the bell went and we proceeded to our first class. I had missed yesterday’s classes, but was told that it was just a “getting to know about where everything is” day and evidently, my Helper would fill me in later.
Today’s lessons were about being a girl, what we would be doing to attain that lofty status and how we should start to live and breathe femininity.
As we filed into the classroom, the gigantic vid screen at the front showed where everyone was to sit. My desk pod was near the front and my friends Davina and Bethany were on either side of me. The pods were the same as the ones in the boys’ school, with a glass touch screen vid and comfortable deep recliner chair. The V-R helmet was attached to the side of the screen for when surround -vid was required. I had always liked the V-R helmets, especially in Geog, where we were able to visit foreign lands and see, smell and experience different territories and cultures. Although some places were not allowed, of course, due to the troubles; one of them being Indo-China, where my parents were. I thought about them fleetingly and smiled as I remembered what Helena had told me.
Before long, everyone was seated and waiting expectantly for our first real lesson since the momentous changes had started.
A few moments later a woman entered; she was wearing what I now realised was the staff uniform, comprising of a cream coloured business suit with a tailored jacket and skirt, white silk blouse, black stockings and black heels. She had long blond hair, a thin figure and like all the teachers I had seen so far, was very beautiful, with immaculate makeup.
She paused in front of the class and looked at us, a slight smile playing on her full red lips.
‘Hello, girls, I am Ms Stanton and I’m here to help you become acquainted with your new selves. Now, hands up those girls who didn’t really want to become female before entering this school.’
I put my hand up hesitantly and looking around, was surprised to see that a good eighty percent had put theirs up too!
‘That is about the average split. Well, you’ve all been here for a few days, so put your hands up those who still feel the same way?’
I was going to raise my hand, but for some reason I didn’t. Glancing around, I noticed that five girls did raise theirs.
‘Alright, you five girls, would you please go next door and we’ll try to help you. We can only allow you to take this class when you’re totally happy with your situation; don’t worry you aren’t in any trouble.’
The girls all stood up and left. Three of them looked upset, one puzzled and one, I noticed had a scowl on her face as she passed me similar to the one that Davina had when she was still David.
As they went into the side room and the door swished closed behind them, Ms Stanton spoke up; ‘Well now, let’s progress, shall we? Don’t worry about the others, they will soon be assimilated,’ she added, smiling.
Her remark left me wondering once again what was meant by ‘assimilated?’ Then I forgot about it as the Ms Stanton spoke again.
‘During today’s lesson, I will give you a general outline and start you off on your exciting new journey. You are extremely privileged to be in at the start of something which, we hope, will literally change the world. My job and the job of your other mistresses, helpers, ’puters, personal psychiatrists and others is to help you merge into our sisterhood and embrace your femininity. We want you to be happy, fulfilled girls, ready and able to go out into society to be wives and mothers. You will be part of a unique–and initially elite–group, since we believe that we can help you become mothers, not ordinary mothers but mothers who give birth to girls. Project Phoenix is at the forefront of research and development of the new treatment which you have just embarked upon. You are probably already experiencing some physical changes and you should not worry about this. It is expected and an encouraging sign that our treatment is working successfully.’
She paused momentarily to take a sip of water before continuing. Glancing around, I was aware that my fellow pupils were totally absorbed in what she was saying. I kept on having flashbacks to my last conversation with my parents for some reason. There was something nagging away at me and I wouldn’t be completely happy until I was able to see them safe and well. I still felt guilty for some reason that I hadn’t put my hand up when Ms Stanton asked if anyone had any misgivings about the changes.
Shaking my head, I cleared my thoughts as Ms Stanton continued.
‘At the moment, you are just chrysalises but soon you will become real girls physically and mentally. The medication that you are on and the operation you had will swiftly prepare your body for the exciting times to come. But being a woman is not just physical; we have to help you to become a woman mentally also. That is where your training and the psychiatric support will be invaluable. Please don your Virtual-Reality Helmets.’
I pulled the helmet away from the side of the vid and put it on. It fitted perfectly and that was strange as normally you would need to have a proper individual fitting as everyone’s head was different. Then I realised that it was probably measured from the one that I used in the boys’ school.
The helmet automatically and smoothly pressed against my head, the padded sides making it feel as if fitted like a glove. The school crest was glowing dimly on the vid in front of me and the sides were still dark. There were no sounds from the outside–all I could hear was some very soft music. Cool air gently passed over my face and I could feel my chair recline and I was soon almost horizontal, my body softly but firmly supported by the deep cushions of the chair.
‘Now, listen to my voice, girls,’ said the soft, almost hypnotic sound of Ms Stanton, ‘we have a lot to get through so we have a new system of accelerated learning. You will begin to feel sleepy but don’t be alarmed and don’t fight it; this is perfectly normal. I just want you to relax and watch the screen––’
The school crest disappeared and gradually I realised that I was in a forest travelling on horseback. I was riding a beautiful white horse. The reality of it all was breathtaking. I could feel the horse under me, its warmth and vitality was very real and I was riding it bare-backed, gripping the horse’s strong head by its mane. All this seemed very strange as I felt like an expert rider in spite of the fact that I had never, ever, ridden a horse in my life!
I felt the breeze blowing through my long hair and discovered I was wearing a long white flowing dress that billowed and moved as we sped on. The sun was filtering through the trees and was lightening the forest floor in a myriad of wonderful colours. Then we were out of the forest and galloping along a sloping grassy plain, suffused with wonderful fragrant flowers, that went gradually downhill towards the deep blue sea in the distance. The colours were so bright and vibrant and it all felt so real and wonderful. I breathed in the heady scent and then gradually felt myself relax. My eyes drooped and I fell asleep.
When I awoke, I was still in the reclining chair, but the V-R helmet had been removed. The lights were low, but were fading up slowly. I was aware of some classical music–it was Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony,* a divine piece of music to wake up to. All around me, others were stirring and the lights gradually became brighter.
I glanced at Bethany: she was smiling, looking relaxed, calm and very happy. On my other side, Davina was also just awakening with an expression that mirrored Bethany’s. For myself, I felt as if I had just had the most wonderful relaxing sleep that I had ever experienced. I was feeling more content than I had ever been about being a girl and just wanted to be the best and most feminine girl I could be.
Ms Stanton was still there, sitting to the side and keying something on her uPad. Once all the lights had faded up and everyone was awake, she stood and returned to the front of the class.
‘Well, girls, I’m sure you enjoyed that. I envy you all. You have so much fun ahead of you and I hope that I–and the rest of the staff–will be able to help your dreams come true. That is all for today so you will need to go to the dining room and then after that, you have some free time. Look at your mini uPads for your schedules and remember, I am always here if you need any help and advice.’
We left the classroom, chatting excitedly about the lesson. I went into the rest room with Bethany and Davina and after we had used the facilities, we spent a few moments doing our hair and making ourselves look pretty.
‘Wasn’t it great!’ Bethany bubbled.
‘Yes, I adored it when I was flying through the air on that huge bird,’ Davina added.
‘That’s funny,’ I told them, ‘I was on horseback, riding through a forest and then we rode through some wonderful green, grassy plains with lots of colourful, lovely smelling flowers. What about you Bethany?
‘Ooh, I was in the water, riding a dolphin; it was with some others and we were all jumping out of the water and then diving deeply. I could see some wonderful fish and corals and it was all so colourful.’
As we entered the dining room we were still enthusing about our virtual experiences.
‘If all our lessons are going to be like this,’ I thought, ‘bring on some more!’
The dining room was nearly empty and it was only the three of us at our table. The others must have eaten earlier. Glancing at my ring watch, I noticed with some surprise that four hours had passed since we had entered the classroom. No wonder we were hungry!
Like the others, I swallowed my medication without thought and tucked into some poached salmon and baby potatoes. The conversation, as usual revolved around clothes, boys, babies and other things that interested us girls. The time passed quickly and then, as we had the rest of the day free, we decided to change out of our uniforms and have a look around as we hadn’t really had much chance to do that before.
We agreed to meet in Davina’s room in forty minutes and after saying goodbye, I went to my room.
‘Hello, Rebecca, have you had a nice day?’
‘Yes, thank you, Helena. Has there been any news about my parents?’
‘We hope to have some news soon, since fighting has died down. The martial law and a curfew is keeping people off the street so it does seem as though we will be able to contact the embassy shortly. You will know as soon as we do,’
‘Thanks, Helena!’
I had a quick shower and then I decided to wear a pretty pink dress made of some diaphanous material. Before getting dressed, I inspected my sensitive breasts as I could feel a slight pain around my areolas and beneath the puffy breast tissue. I could see some small red marks, like puncture marks, but it couldn’t be that. It might be the beginnings of some sort of strange rash or something. I had never seen that before and I wondered how they got there. Then a voice in my head seamed to calm me down and I shrugged and forgot about it, meaning to ask someone later about it. For now, I had to get a move on or the others would be ready before me!
It was strange as I was able to put my bra on quite easily–almost without thinking–and I applied my makeup as if I had been doing it for years. I looked very pretty in my dress and after brushing and putting some pink ribbons in my long hair; I checked myself in the mirror and was very pleased with what I saw.
Leaving my room, I made my way to Davina’s, meeting Bethany on the way. She too looked very pretty in a pale blue satin dress. She was wearing more makeup than me, but then that was Bethany–showy!
We requested entry to Davina’s room and went in as the door slid open silently.
Davina was just finishing her hair. She was wearing a stunning above the knee cream tunic dress with a round neck and I could see that she was already developing a small bust. I was quite jealous and wondered why she and Bethany also seemed to be more advanced in that department. All right, my nipples were very sensitive and seemed a bit puffy, but nowhere nearly as advanced as the other two. I made a note to ask Helena later why I wasn’t developing as quickly as they were.
Before long we were making our way down the corridor, arm in arm, excited about the day we had just had and the incredible experiences that had been so real and so very wonderful.
The school was built around a quadrangle and we went into the gardens which were covered by a positive charge field that kept out bad weather. The quad was mainly grassed over, with some fountains in the centre and many flower beds which were a riot of colour. Other pupils, like us, were strolling about arm in arm and everything seemed very peaceful.
As I lay back on the grass looking up at the sky, I felt very happy and contented with my lot. Finally, I was coming to accept that I would never be a boy again and instead of feeling a sense of loss, I was looking forward positively to my new life and experiences to come. I hoped fervently, that once I graduated, I would find a gorgeous husband and be able to have wonderful sweet children with him and above all, I hoped that those children would include girls.
After a while, we got up and brushed some loose grass off our frocks and went exploring. By consulting our mini uPads, we were able to use the maps to find places such as the gym, the holo chamber for experiencing near real life experiences–you had to book it as it was very popular–the vidi-theatre that linked the great theatres of the world. Then there was the great hall where graduating ceremonies and other great occasions took place. There were also two restaurants where you were expected to dress up, not down; fun areas where games were played, some of them physical like netball and rounders, others with state of the art vidi game equipment where you could pit yourself against anyone else who wanted to play.
Then there were the quiet, reflective areas where we could go to find privacy and calm. Other areas included the offices, staff rooms and treatment centres–some of which, we had been told, we would become acquainted with intimately.
Everywhere we went we saw other pupils, two, three and four petals. A few five petals were around but we were led to understand that they tended to spend more time with the staff rather than us “mere mortals”.
One thing I noticed was that there were no windows that looked out on the outside of the building–just vidi-windows that showed beautiful scenes from around the world. I made a mental note to ask Helena why that was when I got the chance. All the exits of the building leading outside were barred to us; I did try one door, but instead of it slipping open a disembodied voice told me that the exit was barred to two-petal pupils for their security and the maintenance of asepsis. Another thing to ask Helena or my Helper.
After a while, we began to feel tired and we made our way back to our rooms. I said goodbye to my friends and entered my room. We had all decided to eat in by ourselves tonight as we were so tired–a by product of our treatment we had been told at some point.
‘Hello, Helena,’ I called, taking off my shoes and rubbing my aching stockinged feet.
‘Hello, Rebecca, have you had a good time?’
‘Yes, lovely; any news?’
‘About your parents? No, I am afraid not; it’s all taking longer than we thought, but no news is good news, as the saying goes.’
‘Mmm.’ I said, unconvinced but not too worried; nothing seemed to worry me much at present.
I felt quite sleepy, so after removing my makeup and putting my hair in a scrunchie, I changed into a long pink satin nightie and sat at a table to eat a syntho-lamb cutlet and salad, not forgetting my medications, of course.
I watched an old Bugs Bunny cartoon while I ate. I adore Bugs Bunny and giggled whenever he managed to get one over Yosemite Sam, again!
After that I switched to the news channel.
‘The main headlines, The US of A & C has called in the Indo-Chinese Ambassador to protest about treatment of their citizens in that troubled country. The life president has threatened to impose a trade embargo and also to call in old debts if the situation does not improve. The combined governments of England, Scotland, Wales and Eire under the leadership of Alysia Wellgood has stated that the situation in Indo-China remains fluid and it would be well, at the moment, not to antagonise the government of that troubled state.’
In other news, the male-female ratio continues to widen as more boys are being born. The government are aware of the situation and have stated that exciting things are being developed that will ensure that the balance will be restored sooner rather than later. The real hope is that girls will start to be produced within the next five years if not sooner.
Now the sports news––’
Before going to bed, I went and used the loo. I was a bit tired and fuzzy around the edges, but noticed that my penis was getting a bit smaller–more shrunken somehow and it ached slightly. That was strange; surely the medication wouldn’t be working that quickly? I also noticed some more of those strange red marks like the ones on my breasts, around the base of my penis and they stung a bit when I touched them. Another thing was that I had to wipe myself carefully after using the toilet as I was making a slight mess and my pee was going everywhere. I mentally shrugged at my discovery, meaning to mention it to someone when I wasn’t quite as tired.
When I stood up and washed my hands, I gazed at my face and smiled, driving all thoughts of what I had just discovered out of my mind. My face seemed a bit softer, thinner and more feminine now and my eyes looked big and rather lovely, although my pupils did seem a bit dilated–something to do with the medication, I supposed.
My breasts, when I felt them through the thin slippery fabric of my nightie, were rather tender and now quite definitely larger than even yesterday, maybe even an A Cup! I smiled at my reflection thinking that I was probably one of those lucky girls on accelerated treatment and that I really had no need to worry about things like that.
I finally tore my eyes away from my gorgeous reflection and went back into my bedroom, quickly slipping under the covers.
‘Goodnight, Helena.’
‘Goodnight Rebecca, sweet dreams.’
The lights went down and soft music filled the room. Something was still nagging at me though, it was once again that final conversation that I had with my parents. What was it? I couldn’t remember and I was getting so tired that I could stay awake no longer, and succumbed to what my body was telling me to do as I gradually fell asleep.
I had a dream. It was vivid and involved my parents. They were holed up in the embassy and there were the sounds of gunfire and lasers outside. My parents were burning documents and clearing off computer records as the sound of pounding and explosions got ever nearer. Eventually there was a tremendous explosion and the door of their office blew inwards. They looked around and then put their hands up in horror––
I woke up suddenly, bathed in sweat. I had a headache and felt like crying; it was all oh-so real. The lights dimly faded up.
‘Are you all right, Rebecca?’
‘Yes Helena, just a bad dream and I have a headache.’
‘I will provide you with something for that.’
‘Thanks.’ I said as I got up and went to the bathroom. My heart was pounding and I was feeling sweaty. I used the loo–making a mess again–and then I wiped myself down and changed my nightie. I could have had a shower, but thought that it would wake me up too much.
Returning to my bedroom, I noticed that the serving hatch had a green light above it. Going over, it slid open and there was some clear green liquid in a glass.
‘Is this for my head?’ I asked.
‘Yes, Rebecca. It will make you feel much better.’
‘Thanks,’ I said and drank down the peppermint-flavoured liquid and replaced the glass on the tray.
I went back to bed and noticed that the bedding had been changed. That was good because the other had become quite damp with my perspiration.
I slipped into bed, the lights faded again and I shut my eyes.
‘Goodnight, Rebecca.’
‘’Night,’ I replied sleepily.
I shut my eyes but for some reason could not sleep for thinking about my parents. Something was still at the back of my brain and I just couldn’t grasp it and then my eyes snapped open. I nearly gasped but just put my hand over my mouth as I didn’t want Helena to hear me as I had no idea how well the room and in particular I, was being monitored.
I was blessed with an almost photographic memory and I could recall almost word for word what my father had said. My Dada said that I should contact Auntie Connie in Brighton. “She’ll look after your interests. You know what she’s like–a bit scatty, but her heart’s in the right place and she’ll look over you and protect you, whatever happens. She knows about all this and is expecting a call”.
Why I didn’t take all of that in at the time of my conversation with him, I don’t know. Maybe my being upset at everything that had happened might have made me not pay as much attention as I should have at the time.
I did have an Auntie Connie, but she lived in Bournemouth–not Brighton–and I had never met her so had no idea what she was like; but Dada said that I knew what she was like. Was there some hidden message there?
Dada never would make a mistake like that; so if it wasn’t a mistake, what was he trying to tell me? Was it some sort of warning?
See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Susan Brown
Previously…
I slipped into bed, the lights faded again and I shut my eyes.
‘Goodnight, Rebecca.’
‘’Night,’ I replied sleepily.
I shut my eyes but for some reason could not sleep for thinking about my parents. Something was still at the back of my brain and I just couldn’t grasp it and then my eyes snapped open. I nearly gasped but just put my hand over my mouth as I didn’t want Helena to hear me as I had no idea how well the room and in particular I, was being monitored.
I was blessed with an almost photographic memory and I could recall almost word for word what my father had said. My Dada said that I should contact Auntie Connie in Brighton. “She’ll look after your interests. You know what she’s like–a bit scatty, but her heart’s in the right place and she’ll look over you and protect you, whatever happens. She knows about all this and is expecting a call”.
Why I didn’t take all of that in at the time of my conversation with him, I don’t know. Maybe my being upset at everything that had happened might have made me not pay as much attention as I should have at the time.
I did have an Auntie Connie, but she lived in Bournemouth–not Brighton–and I had never met her so had no idea what she was like; but Dada said that I knew what she was like. Was there some hidden message there?
Dada never would make a mistake like that; so if it wasn’t a mistake, what was he trying to tell me? Was it some sort of warning?
And now the story continues…
Suddenly I felt very tired and slipped off to sleep, wondering vaguely if the medication that I had been given contained some sort of sedative…
When I awoke the next morning, I felt that all was right with the world.
‘Good morning Rebecca and how are you today?’
I stretched in my bed, still feeling quite relaxed and contented.
‘Okay thanks, Helena. Have I got to get up?’
‘Well, it might be a good idea, breakfast is in forty minutes.’
After another long stretch, I got up and padded into the shower room. I felt that I should have remembered something. It was like a bee buzzing inside my head, but the feeling soon passed and I carried on with what I was doing.
I sat on the toilet and held what was left of my shrinking penis so that I wouldn’t splatter everywhere. After finishing my business and before the auto-flush worked I glanced down and noted that my urine seemed quite dark, a reddish brown. This didn’t bother me much as I assumed that it was just a sign that my promised transformation was continuing.
Slipping off my nightie, I put it down the chute and then went for a shower. I put the shower cycle on morning wakeup and was quickly more or less awake but still a bit fuzzy around the edges. After the drying cycle, I left the cubicle and returned to the bedroom. My school uniform was on the bed, which had been changed and made while I was in the shower. I thought little of this, being grateful that everything was ready for me.
As I dressed, I remembered something. ‘Helena, any news of my parents?’
‘We have not heard directly, but news has come in via the Swedish embassy that everything is starting to return to normal and that communications will be re-established within the next day or two.’
I felt a brief annoyance that Helena had not given me this information as soon as I awoke, but was in such a happy mood, I just shrugged my shoulders and started to look forward to my day ahead.
I dressed almost without thinking, the only thing of note was that my bra was a size larger and my breasts seemed bigger and stuck out a bit more. The areolas appeared larger and darker than I remembered and I smiled at the thought that every day I was getting closer and closer to being the real girl I wanted to be.
As I put on my neckerchief and tying it first time perfectly, I smiled, thinking that I was now so comfortable in the girls’ uniform, I had almost forgotten what it was like to wear boys’ clothes. In fact the thought of wearing anything boyish, made me feel slightly sick.
Once again, there was something on the edge of my consciousness that was niggling me but it was like a mist–something that I could not grab hold of and think about coherently. I brushed my hair as best as I could, then I spritzed myself with the delicate intoxicating fragrance that I now loved so much and then I was ready for the world again.
I met Bethany and Davina in the hallway and after group hugs we went to breakfast. We discussed what was on the agenda today and after checking our mini uPads, we saw that we had more induction this morning followed by another period with the V-R helmets in the afternoon.
In next to no time we were in the designated classroom and as we sat at our pods, the screen lit up and the headmistress appeared. She was all smiles and impeccably dressed, as usual.
‘Hello, girls, we are very happy with your progress and today it falls upon me to give you a bit more insight as to how things are going in your quest to become girls and how so much rests with you in these exciting times.
‘You all know how many countries are in turmoil over the blight that has befallen the world. As part of the Phoenix Project, you are at the forefront in the treatment and cure of the genetic time bomb that has gripped the human race for so many years. The world is watching us and hoping against hope that your treatment will provide us with an answer to all our prayers.
‘It is true to say that some countries are on the brink of collapse because of the genetic crisis and the financial turmoil over the last five years. Some countries with populations that have deep religious beliefs cannot reconcile the fact that in the future, the key movers and shifters by necessity, will be women not men. Societies will, by force of circumstances, become matriarchal rather than patriarchal. Women will hold the power by the very fact that they–and only they–have the key to survival. The boys that have been chosen to transform into girls have been picked for certain characteristics, among them being intelligence, being strong willed, winners–all the things that pick them out as survivors. What is said about survival of the fittest is as true today as when it was first uttered by Herbert Spencer after he read Darwn’s famous work, On the Origin of the Species in the mid nineteenth century.1
‘We will go more into such matters at a later date, but be assured, as the pioneers of this new treatment, when and I say when rather than if; when the first female child is born either here or the other special centres in England, Scotland, Wales or Eire you will be fáªted as heroes of the world.
‘Now to get down to basics, you will have all felt changes occurring in your bodies. We have highly sophisticated diagnostic and checking systems incorporated into your beds. This is done to ensure that you are kept safe and well at all times and to monitor your exciting changes. I can say that you are all on schedule to be fully assimilated within a short period of time. You may feel some aches and pains and you will definitely notice the changes taking place in your body. If you are in any discomfort, you must tell your ‘puter who will assist you in any way. Now I will pass you over to your mistress for today, Ms Park who will start your femininity training. It is not enough for you to have the body of a girl, you must look, feel, act and be a girl in every way. You will want your husband’s to feel that they have a real lady as a partner and not just a person who used to be a boy. Pleasing your husband is an important part of being a woman and a happy husband is a compliant one.
‘Remember my door is always open and if you have any concerns you must either speak to your helper, one of the staff or myself. We want, no need you to be perfectly happy and we will do all we can to assist you on your journey to womanhood.’
The screen was replaced by the school crest and then slid down out of the way leaving just the glass ’puter desk with the interactive touch screen.
I wasn’t entirely sure whether I wanted to please my husband–or any man for that matter–then I just relaxed, realising that I was being silly and there was nothing to worry about.
While we had been watching the head mistress, Ms Park had arrived and was standing in front of her lectern. She was wearing the same clothes as the other teachers and looked smart in her cream coloured business suit with tailored jacket and skirt, white silk blouse, black stockings and black heels. She was devastatingly beautiful with a short black hair styled in a bob. She had the look of the oriental about her and her skin was flawless and her eyes, dark, and almond shaped. She was not smiling however.
‘Well, girls…I say girls, but you have a long way to go. Miranda, you are slouching. Therese, do not sit like that with your legs open - I can see your panties. Rebecca, I assume that you brushed your hair today, but it looks like you used a rake. Sarah, you have been told, no makeup in school time––’
Two hours later we left the classroom with our ears still resounding from Ms Park’s rather intensive way of showing us the error of our ways. Evidently, I walked like a boy, talked like a boy and sat like a boy. This was shown to me using vids‘, ’puter reconstructions and rather comical interpretations by the theatrical and daunting Ms Park.
I was let off comparatively lightly; a few of the girls had cried after being shown their defects in front of the whole class. I didn’t cry, but must admit that I felt like it at times.
It was a decidedly relieved trio that sat down for lunch in a ladylike manner, took our pills and ate our food as daintily as possible.
After lunch it was back to the pods where, once again, we were transported via our V-R helmets, out of our enclosed classroom and into a world of wonderful colour. This time it was I who was riding with the dolphins, feeling and experiencing the wonderful ocean, as on the back of the astonishing creature, we leapt and dived in the warm waters. I felt the spray on my face and saw the breathtaking corals and brightly coloured fish as we swam in the deep blue sea. I wasn’t just watching it, I was experiencing it.
I awoke, as before, to the sound of Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony and stretched. My helmet had been removed and I felt very relaxed. All thoughts of the morning’s traumatic lesson with Ms Park had left my head.
There was something I had to ask Helena about, but I couldn’t remember what it was. I shook my head, thinking that it would probably come back to me and thought no more about it.
Looking at my finger watch, I was amazed that three and a half hours had passed! We went to the dining room and had something to eat. We were all tired and decided that although it was still a bit early, we would return to our rooms.
I hugged the other girls’ goodbye at my door and went in my room.
‘Hello Rebecca. Have you had a nice day?’
‘Yes, thanks.’ I yawned. ‘I am very tired though.’
‘That is normal. The accelerated treatment does that for you. Once the treatment is completed, you will have a lot more energy and feel wonderfully fit and well.’
‘I think that I’ll get changed and go to bed.’
‘Good idea. An early night will do you good and set you up for tomorrow.’
I changed into a shortie nightie as it was rather warm and after using the toilet, washing my hands and face, and brushing my teeth, I got into bed and decided to watch the news before going to sleep. I was just about to turn the vid on when Helena spoke up.
‘Don’t forget your medication.’
‘Sorry.’ I replied, getting up and going to the serving hatch where the clear mint flavoured liquid in a glass and three pills awaited me.
Soon I was back under the sheets. I stared at the vid. ‘News on, please, Helena.’
‘Sorry, Rebecca, the news channel is down at the moment.’
‘Oh, there isn’t a problem, is there?’
‘No, dear; it’s down for maintenance. It will be back up tomorrow. Would you like to watch a film?’
‘No thanks.’ I yawned, ‘I’m a bit tired anyway. I think that I’ll go to sleep now. Goodnight Helena.’
‘Goodnight. Sweet dreams, Rebecca.’
The lights faded and I fell asleep almost instantaneously.
I was travelling through the air on the back of a condor. Beneath me I could see the Earth, many miles below. We travelled a great distance in the blink of an eye. Soon we were over India and the bird swooped down–My white dress was billowing and flapping around me and my hair was getting into my eyes. As I brushed it aside with my hand as a city came into view. I saw fighting in the streets: people fighting hand to hand and there was terrible bloodshed with bodies everywhere. I heard gunfire and explosions all around but my eyes were fixed on a building shrouded in smoke that I vaguely recognised. We flew lower and I could see the big building more clearly. I recognised it as the embassy where my parents were. We got closer and then to my horror, the building exploded. I put my hands up to my face and felt myself falling off the back of the giant condor––
I woke up screaming realising that I wasn’t in my bed; I was somewhere that appeared to be an operating theatre. I was on a hard, but padded table. There were people around wearing scrubs and face masks. I couldn’t move. I glanced over at the wall and saw a picture; it was the Mona Lisa. In my confusion I wondered why the picture was there.
I wasn’t strapped down or anything, but my body felt strangely numb and I could only move my head slightly. I was aware of a mask over my mouth and nose and the cool dry air. Voices were raised and I could see some eyes that were vaguely familiar–
‘Put her out, quickly–’
My vision began to darken at the edges and my eyes drooped. I could say nothing and could feel nothing and then I could sense nothing––
It was morning when I awoke again. Rubbing my eyes, I yawned and looked across to the window. There was a vid of an orchard with flowers and green wavy grass. I could hear birds twittering and the sound of the breeze at it wafted gently through the grass.
I vaguely remembered a nasty dream that I had had but like many dreams it faded into nothingness. One thing I did remember though was the wonderful time I had on the dolphin yesterday. It made me smile and want more and more experiences like that. I was really beginning to enjoy it here and couldn’t wait until I was a complete girl with six petals.
‘Good morning, Rebecca.’
‘Hello, Helena.’
‘Did you sleep well?’
‘I think I had a nasty dream, but I can’t remember anything about it now.’
‘Well, you know if you have any problems like that, you can speak to your personal counsellor.’
‘I know but I don’t want to make a fuss. It was only a dream.’
I scratched my breasts absentmindedly, noting in passing that they seemed a little larger this morning. I got up and went to the shower room. Sitting on the loo, I put my hand down to hold my penis while I went–I really hated making a mess. It was getting so small now; it was almost flush with my body. Smiling, I wondered how long my outie would take to change into an innie–not very long at this rate!
I did the necessary and then got up as the loo began to auto flush. Before flush completed I noticed that, once again, the water seemed a brownish-red in colour. I shrugged as a thought came into my head that I shouldn’t worry about such things.
I removed my nightie and put it down the chute, then before taking my shower, I crossed to the full length mirror and took a long stare at myself. The changes in me were very apparent now. What fat that I had, was redistributing itself to make my body more feminine. My buttocks, hips and thighs seemed to be more padded than before and my pert breasts looked quite natural on the feminised body.
My nose seemed smaller and thinner. My eyebrows looked higher and thinner. My hair was soft, lush and getting longer every time I saw it. All in all, I was well on the way to becoming a real girl and I wondered what was happening inside me if the external signs were so dramatically different to before.
I turned around and then went to my bed, which had been made. As usual, my uniform was laid out for me and it took a matter of moments to get dressed. I was rather proud that I could put on my bra with no apparent effort and that my neckerchief no longer held any problems to me.
As I was now getting so quick in preparing myself for the day, I had a few minutes to spare. I had a funny metallic taste in my mouth and decided to have a drink while I waited for my friends to come and get me for breakfast.
‘Orange juice please,’ I said and then smiled and hummed to myself as I looked at a live vid feed on the window of Niagara Falls.
A few moments later I heard a soft chime and went to the hatch and picked up the glass of cold juice. The sides of the glass were slightly wet with condensation. I drank it down swiftly and was about to put it down when the glass slipped out of my hand and crashed to the floor.
‘Oh blast.’ I muttered as I kneeled down to pick up the shards of glass. I didn’t notice that the glass had gone everywhere when it shattered and my knee went directly onto a sharp piece, making me almost yell out.
But I didn’t. The sharp, stabbing pain did something to my brain. It was as if a curtain had been lifted and I instantly remembered the conversation that I had had with my father and the strange cryptic information about my aunt. Then I recalled the vivid nightmares that I had been having and that awful experience on the operating table.
‘Are you all right, Rebecca?’
‘Erm, yes, I broke a glass.’
‘Don’t worry; it will be cleared up for you. You weren’t hurt were you?’
‘No, just a tiny scratch on my leg.’
‘You must go to the medical centre so that they can have a look at it.’
‘It’s nothing.’ I said as I grabbed a tissue and put in over the bleeding cut.
‘Standing orders are for any injury–no matter how trivial–must be seen by the medical staff. The nurse is aware of the situation and is waiting for you.’
I didn’t argue because it would be fruitless.
‘All right, I’ll go. Can you tell my friends to go to breakfast without me?’
‘I have already informed them. I know that all this might seem silly, but you are living in a sterile environment and all accidents or illnesses must be monitored carefully. It’s for your own good.’
‘Where do I go then?’
‘Follow the yellow line outside and it will lead you directly to the medical facility.’
I picked up my shoulder bag and left my room. The pulsing line on the floor indicated the way I should go: according to the indicators, it was about three hundred yards away. As I walked, nodding to my fellow students as I passed them, my mind was on other things. I felt vulnerable and in some danger. My feeling was that I was being manipulated and things were happening that should not have been. I was now rather suspicious that I had not been able to speak to my parents. I did not want my mind messed with as well as my body. I had accepted–all be it reluctantly,–that I was well on the way to becoming a girl and that there was no turning back, but why did they need to manipulate my mind and keep me out of contact with my parents?
Were there others like me who felt that way and, if so, where were they?
I reached the medical facility and the doors swished open. As I entered, I saw several doors to my left and right. Straight in front of me was a desk, behind which sat a nurse in a crisp white uniform. She looked up and smiled as I approached.
‘Hi, Rebecca, hurt your leg have you?’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘We’ll just have a look at it to make sure. Would you like to go through that door and sit in the second room on your left? A doctor will come and see you there shortly.’
I smiled at her and went over to the door which slid open and let me through. I saw the room she mentioned and moved towards it, my heels clicking on the hard floor and echoing slightly as I walked. Glancing to the left I saw another door with a round glass window. I just glanced inside as I passed and almost stopped dead in my tracks. I recognised it. The room was the one in my dream–the operating theatre. I recognised it because there was a painting of the Mona Lisa on the wall––
____________________________
1 –see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survival_of_the_fittest
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Susan Brown
Previously…
I picked up my shoulder bag and left my room. The pulsing line on the floor indicated the way I should go: according to the indicators, it was about three hundred yards away. As I walked, nodding to my fellow students as I passed them, my mind was on other things. I felt vulnerable and in some danger. My feeling was that I was being manipulated and things were happening that should not have been. I was now rather suspicious that I had not been able to speak to my parents. I did not want my mind messed with as well as my body. I had accepted–all be it reluctantly,–that I was well on the way to becoming a girl and that there was no turning back, but why did they need to manipulate my mind and keep me out of contact with my parents?
Were there others like me who felt that way and, if so, where were they?
I reached the medical facility and the doors swished open. As I entered, I saw several doors to my left and right. Straight in front of me was a desk, behind which sat a nurse in a crisp white uniform. She looked up and smiled as I approached.
‘Hi, Rebecca, hurt your leg have you?’
‘It’s nothing.’
‘We’ll just have a look at it to make sure. Would you like to go through that door and sit in the second room on your left? A doctor will come and see you there shortly.’
I smiled at her and went over to the door which slid open and let me through. I saw the room she mentioned and moved towards it, my heels clicking on the hard floor and echoing slightly as I walked. Glancing to the left I saw another door with a round glass window. I just glanced inside as I passed and almost stopped dead in my tracks. I recognised it. The room was the one in my dream–the operating theatre. I recognised it because there was a painting of the Mona Lisa on the wall––
And now the story continues…
I didn’t stop. I had no idea if anyone was watching me, but to say I was stunned would be an understatement. I now knew for certain that I was being manipulated and that the authorities were playing mind games with me–and all the other students. The one thing I couldn’t understand was why?
Everyone my age knew that there was always a chance that we would be chosen to be transformed and although I was upset, I had kind of accepted it. The very fact that they had chosen to play with our minds as well as our bodies, made me think that there was some sort of agenda going on, of which I was supposed to be unaware.
The mind drugs–if that was what they were–and the hurried and enforced changes that were occurring to my body, made me think that there must be some reason for such haste and the need to mould boys into girls as quckly as possible. Perhaps the situation was worse than I thought. Maybe the human race was coming close to meltdown?
Sitting in the pastel coloured waiting room, I tried to clear my mind of such thoughts, wondering–perhaps with a touch of paranoia–if someone or something might pick up on the fact that I was upset about the situation and delve more deeply. I looked up as the door hissed open and a woman wearing a white doctor’s coat came in and smiled.
‘Hello, Rebecca, been through the wars?’
‘I just grazed my knee, it’s nothing.’
‘Let me be the judge of that, dear. You don’t want to put me out of a rather cushy job, do you?’
‘No.’ I smiled–there was no point in my being antagonistic until I identified the enemy.
‘Right, pop up onto the examination couch and I’ll have a look-see.’
I did as she asked and she put a hand scanner over my knee. It clicked and made other noises and then bleeped.
‘As you say, it isn’t anything too nasty, but it looks as if a tiny shard of glass is still in there so I’d better get it out.’
She used a pair of non-technical tweezers and a magnifying glass and after making the area numb with a pressure injection; she fished around and extracted the offending fragment of glass. It was small, but I suppose it was better out than in.
‘There,’ she said after putting a clear waterproof dressing on my knee, ‘that should do it. Come back in two days and we’ll see if it’s all cleared up. If there’s any pain or discomfort come and see us before that. It must have hurt?’
‘A wee bit.’ I admitted.
‘Well, these things happen. Off you go now.’
‘Thanks, doctor.’
‘That’s all right, dear, that’s what we are here for. We need you guin…I mean students to be nice and healthy.’
As I returned to my room, I wondered about that word she corrected: I had a strong suspicion that she was about to say guinea pig before she corrected herself and that gave me no comfort at all, because I was now pretty sure that that was exactly what we were–guinea pigs.
On entering my room, the disembodied voice of Helena spoke. ‘Everything okay, Rebecca?’
‘Yes, thanks.’
‘You are due in lessons this afternoon, but you are excused this morning.’
‘Thanks; any news?’
‘About what, dear?’
‘My parents.’
‘Not yet; as I said before, as soon as I hear anything I will let you know.’
‘All right, but I am worried.’
‘I know, dear. Would you like to see the counsellor?
‘Erm, not just now, thanks.’
The last thing I wanted was somebody messing around with my brain more than it had been messed about with already.
‘Zinga, please.’
A few seconds later the drink arrived and I fetched it from the service hatch and went to the couch and sat down.
‘News, please.’
The screen lit up and a no service sign showed.
‘Helena, why can’t I see the news?’
‘The service is still down, dear, they hope to have it back up by this evening. The problem is with the service provider, not this end.’
‘How about the net, is the news service down there too?’
‘Yes, I am afraid so. Would you like to listen to some music or a podcast?
‘Not at the moment thanks,’
I sat there nursing my drink and thinking things through. I was very suspicious about the problems with the news services. I needed a plan of action and I wasn’t too sure where to begin. I thought that it would be a good idea to make a mental list of what my plan of action was going to be. I was good at mental lists–my parents had taught me how to memorise things in a structured way using my near photographic memory.
The last thing I wanted to do was to put my thoughts down on any sort of media that could be read. That ruled out my uPad and mini uPad. Paper was out too, as that could be read easily. No, I had to rely on memory and that alone. The problem was that I was very aware of the mind manipulation that had been used on me. What was I going to do to retain my thoughts?
I wracked my brain and then something my Dada told me popped in my head. It was the year before, on one of their rare breaks at home. Mummy was in the kitchen trying to cook–well, she loved hands-on and didn’t always like what the ’puter had on offer.
My father and I were in his study: it was half term and for once, I did not have to stay in school. He was looking at me with a strange expression.
‘John, you know that any time now, boys are going to be selected for transformation?’
I fidgeted uncomfortably in my seat, ‘Yes, Dad.’
‘Well, if you are selected, strange things might happen to you.’
‘What sort of strange things?’
‘Well, for a start, you would be on drugs and drugs can affect different people in different ways. Look, I don’t want to worry you, but I think that it would be a good idea to try to stay focussed in all of this. Some of the drugs might alter the way you think, for example, girls think differently to boys and one of the things that the drugs maydo –and I emphasise may, because I am not entirely sure–would be to start you start thinking and behaving more like a girl. They will also have psychiatrists and counsellors who would be trying to help and ease your way into transformation.’
‘What are you getting at, Dad?’
He sighed and looked into the distance and then turned back to me. ‘What I am trying to “get at”, as you put it, is that you do not want to lose who you are. Things may seem fine and they probably will be, but somehow you must try to remember your past and who you are. Being in the government service, means that certain steps were taken to help protect me in the event of capture by hostiles and I was referred to a psychiatrist who used–amongst other things–hypnotic suggestion to construct a firewall, if you like, in my brain behind which was a place where I could keep thoughts that were essential to me. I have been in places where there has been a danger to my life, especially since the world has turned upside down; so it was needed. Your mother has been through it too. Trigger words are used and without going into too many details, I think that it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to have a safe place in your mind which, at least, would be resistant to altering.’
‘So how do I get this?’
‘As it happens, I’m still in contact with the psychiatrist–he’s a friend of long standing–and he will help you. He’s coming to dinner tonight and will see you afterwards.’
‘Is this cloak and dagger stuff really necessary, Dad?’
‘I hope not, but better be safe than sorry.’
The funny thing was I never remembered at the time any talk with a psychiatrist but I do remember the conversation with my Dada.
Other things popped up inside my head. I knew what the trigger word was…Dada.
It was much like a jigsaw puzzle that seemed to be more complete every time I thought about things. I knew that I had a safe place now in my mind where I could store memories. I had to use the trigger word and then concentrate hard on the thoughts that were important to me. Once that was done the close trigger word was Mummy. I don’t know how I knew this but accepted that fact as true.
I had an idea and pulled out my mini UPad and keyed in a reminder every morning to try to contact Dada. Anyone else including the friendly, but now somehow sinister, Helena would think that the note was just my concern about my parents, but it would, I hope, trigger any memories that I needed to hold on to.
I was sure that at some stage I would get all foggy again and not remember things that needed remembering. The drugs I had been given were strong and not just for changing the physical side of me. I hoped that the safeguards I now had would help me to remember who I really was. I suppose that I could throw myself on something sharp to remind me, but for some reason I didn’t fancy that and anyway, if I was too far gone, I wouldn’t remember the need to do it!
I considered the possibility of trying to avoid taking the medication, but realised that it was impossible because we were all so closely monitored. I even wondered whether I could take the meds and then go to the loo and make myself sick, but knowing the lengths the school had taken to spy on each and every one of us, I would be very surprised if the toilets and other so-called ‘private’ areas were not under constant surveillance.
No, I would have to trust in my safe place and hope to get through this without my mind being changed beyond all recognition.
I turned my thoughts as to what I could do now. I needed to find out if anyone else felt as I did, or were all the students so brainwashed that there was no hope for any of them. I couldn’t believe that I was the only one to question what was happening here. Then I thought about Davina. She had changed from a boy, incredibly upset and antsy about what was happening, into a docile, feminine girl. I wondered if that was true or just an act. I would have to get her by herself and see how genuine her ‘girliness’ was.
Lunch was a good time and looking at my finger watch, I noted that it was nearly lunchtime.
I met the other girls in the cafeteria. After the now usual squealing, hug ritual, we ate our meal and I took my meds like a good little girl. Watching Davina as she chatted with the others about the usual topics–boys, clothes, weddings, babies and more boys,–I could see little sign of the boy who I had known up to just a few days ago.
Of course I made sure that I was just as girlie as everyone else, joining in and making the right noises like the others. The conditioning–or whatever you would call it–was still strong in me and I have to say that it didn’t feel strange to act like this; it was normal for my new feminised persona. I may have been a boy once, but the thought of returning to being one, literally made me feel queasy.
I had a bit of luck, because an urgent staff meeting meant that lessons had been cancelled for the rest of the day. This gave Bethany the opportunity to go and have her nails done. Both Davina and I had only had ours done the previous day, so we sent a happy Bethany off to the manicurist and went out into the gardens to look at the flowers and have a stroll around the fountains, arm in arm.
Quite a few of the other girls were outside taking advantage of the mild day and generally happy at having a bonus time off of our hectic school schedules.
I steered Davina towards the fountains and we sat on one of the benches. Sweeping my skirt under my bum, I sat down. The clothes felt very natural to me and I loved the softness that seemed to be lacking in boys clothes. Davina was gazing at the fountains as the jets of water danced and played before us. Surreptitiously, I looked around and saw that no one was near. Davina was talking excitedly about a dress that she had found at the back of her wardrobe.
‘It’s lovely–pink and floaty. It felt wonderful when I tried it on. I adored the lace on the collar and hem and it’s so shear, I have to wear a slip underneath to hide my modesty.’ She sounded like she had consumed a Jane Austin novel rather than poached salmon at lunch and it took some moments before she subsided and came back down to Earth.
‘Davina,’ I said in a break of conversation, ‘Erm, how do you feel about being a girl?’
She turned to me and I swear that I saw a flicker of some sort in her eyes.
‘What do you mean?’ she said.
‘Well, you were very upset at first. You seemed to find it difficult to accept that you were being changed. Then you had some therapy and all of a sudden you are happy with all this.’
‘I am happy. I have found myself and would never want to change back into a boy again.’
The way she said it had an element of falsehood to it. She looked scared as if she was afraid of being found out in some sort of terrible lie. I wasn’t convinced. I was pretty sure that we couldn’t be overheard with the racket the fountains were making, but I didn’t want to raise my voice too much.
‘Look, Davina, I’m your friend. We weren’t that close at the boys’ school, but you know I’m the sort of person that wouldn’t lie to you.’
She looked at me, her eyes wide and feminine; the shape of her face, subtly different and softer after the medications did their work on her body as they had done with mine.
She slowly shook her head and glanced around–obviously frightened.
‘I can see that you are holding back. I am going to trust you, Davina, not to say anything to anyone about this but I think we’re being manipulated and abused so that they can make the perfect women–women that can give birth to girls. Our drinks are drugged. We have surgery while we are asleep and they play mind games with us. Please trust me, Davina, I swear on my parents lives that I am telling the truth.’
She looked at me, a tear appearing in the corner of each eye and then running down her face.
‘I…I…I hate this. I hate being called Davina and I want to be a boy. But…but they took my manhood away from me and I knew I–I couldn’t fight it. They’re too strong. So I’ve pretended to like all of this and hold on to being a boy, deep inside. It’s been so hard, I–I was sure that they were messing with my brain. Every morning I wake up and feel more and more like a girl. My penis has nearly disappeared and my breasts are growing daily. I found some puncture marks on my body and I’m finding it harder and harder to fight this “treatment” or whatever they call it. I’ve tried to speak to my parents but evidently they are away on holiday. It’s funny, they never told me that they were going away.’
She fell silent, her tears dripping on her skirt. I gave her a tissue and she wiped her eyes. Looking around, we were still being ignored. In the near distance, some girls were playing a game with a ball and, thankfully, they were being rather noisy.
She glanced around and then leaned closer. ‘I—I’ve had to try to keep remembering that I’m David.’
‘How?’ I asked.
She looked around again and then pulled up the sleeve of her cardigan. On her arm were some angry looking scratches that had bled and looked very raw.
‘The pain keeps the fog away. It hurts, but that is better than forgetting who I am. It’s the only use for long nails that I can think of.’
‘Oh, Davina, they do look sore. I’m surprised that they haven’t picked up on it. We are so closely monitored.’
‘I know. All I put it down too is the fact that as I am now so accepting to being a girl, I’m no danger to them.’
‘It can’t last. With all the physical aspects of our treatment they’re sure to find out.’
‘Then I’ll say that I had a terrible itch and kept scratching myself.’
‘You ought to do something else to keep your memories. I’ll have a think about it. but we have to decide what to do about all this.’
‘I know. I want to escape but it seems like we’re prisoners.’
‘I wonder if the older, four or five petals are allowed out?’
‘Alysia, you know, the four petal who sometimes eats with us, says that her group are allowed out. I suppose that they are so conditioned, they pose as no threat.’
Out of the corner of my eye I espied a few older girls approaching us. They were engrossed in conversation, but you never know.
‘Look it’s dangerous to be talking like this for a long time. Let’s try and get out tomorrow at lunch time and see if we can come up with some sort of plan. I’m hoping that a few of the girls here feel like us.’
‘All right; I’m pleased that I’m not the only sane one in this madhouse!’
Yes,’ I laughed, ‘now let’s go back arm in arm talking about that dress of yours and how wonderfully pretty you look in it!’
The one piece bathing costumes–pink of course–left very little to the imagination. Any lumps and bumps on show were quite feminine. Looking down at myself, there was only a tiny bulge between my legs that showed a virtual absence of any penis to speak of. My breasts, although small compared with some of the other girls, were prominent and quite noticeable.
I tried to take my mind off things and swam several lengths. I seemed more buoyant than before and assumed that my fat distribution–larger bum and added breasts–was a contributing factor in this. Davina seemed to be all girlie again and giggled a lot with Bethany. I did my best to keep up with them but must admit to not being in their class.
I kept going back to the conversation that I’d had with Davina. It was heartening to know that there was at least one other person who did not accept what was happening. If there was one, maybe there were two or ten–who knows?
As usual, after dinner, most of us were quite tired. It was unusual for any of us to stay out of our rooms past eight in the evening. So after the usual hugs and kisses, I said goodbye to my friends and went to my room. I had given Davina an extra squeeze on the arm as we embraced and she nodded gently and smiled. She felt the same as me. I was sure.
As the door slilently closed behind me and the lights came on I was greeted as usual by the ever present Helena.
‘Hello, Rebecca, have you had a nice day?’
‘Yes thanks, tiring but fine.’
‘That’s good. How is your leg?’
I looked down at my bare leg and the waterproof dressing. I had not thought about it all day.
‘It’s all right. No pain, but I’ll have to go to the medical centre to have it checked though in a few days. Any news about my parents.’
‘Yes, I think that they have sent you a message. It’s in code and going through decipher at the moment. By the time you have changed, it should be ready for you.’
‘That’s great!’ I enthused as I ran into the bathroom and undressed. As usual, I got ready for bed, even though it was still quite early. Experience had shown me that I tended to zonk out by about nine and didn’t want to fuss about changing later. So my old clothes went straight down the chute and I picked out a particularly lovely peach coloured, long satin nightdress with matching panties and robe. The material felt divine against my hairless skin and if it wasn’t for all the nagging doubts and worries I had, I would have gladly just gone with the flow and become uber girl.
Then I smiled as I realised once again that I would be seeing my parents. It was a vidi-message, but at least I could see and hear them again!
Soon I was back in the bedroom sitting with some piping hot chocolate, on the couch waiting anxiously to see my parents once again.
‘The message has come through, Rebecca; would you like to see it?’
‘What do you think Helena? Please show it!’
The lights dimmed and the vidi screen changed from the school logo to a room thousands of miles away that I recognised as the personal quarters of my parents. Mummy was sitting on a chair and Dada was standing behind her. They were both looking healthy but perhaps a bit pale.
Mummy spoke first. ‘Hello, darling. We’ve missed you so much. I am sorry we can’t speak live but the situation here is still a bit fragile and the recording has had to go via our friends at the Swedish Embassy. It was a bit hot here for a few days but things are settling down. Your principal has kindly sent us some pictures of you. You are so lovely and we are both proud to call you our daughter.’
My eyes swelled with tears as she spoke and then Dada spoke.
‘Rebecca, we are so very proud of you and know that you’re going through a lot of hard things at the moment. You must take courage and do the best you can to make things work for you. Don’t have any doubts about your course of action. I know that you are doing the right thing. Being a girl is not a sentence, it’s a privilege. I know that your dear aunt feels the same and would love to see you again. If the principal allows it, you must contact her and let her see what a lovely girl you now are. Well we have to go now, but don’t forget we love you and are proud of you, goodbye, honey.’
‘Goodbye, my darling,’ said Mummy choking slightly on her words.
The screen changed back to the school crest and the lights faded up again. I was in a bit of a state and it took a few moments to pull myself together.
‘Do you need to see your personal counsellor, Rebecca? She is on call.’
‘No thank you, Helena. I’ll be all right in a moment.’
I wiped my eyes with a tissue and then after finishing my drink, I went to bed.
‘Good night, Rebecca.’
‘G’night,’ I replied sleepily.
I was wide awake, the obvious sleeping draught in my hot drink had worn off. I was finding it difficult to concentrate on any one thing and my groin and breasts ached a bit. I was not tired, but quite happy really. I felt under the covers and pulled up the hem of my nightie. Feeling inside my panties, I searched around my groin area. My penis was now no longer protruding and was almost flush with my body–just a small nub of flaccid flesh above the empty sac that once housed my genitals.
I felt no surprise at this. In fact I accepted it with joy. I then felt my breasts and discovered they had grown larger; I shivered slightly as my hand brushed against an erect nipple. I would have liked to have got up to inspect my revised body, but although I was quite awake, I was comfortable, warm and somewhat lethargic.
As I lay there, staring at the ceiling, I smiled as I recalled the vid of my parents last night. It was so good to see them and I would be counting the days until I saw them again. It was wonderful that they were now safe and that I had no need to worry about them any longer. Yes, the world was still very unsafe, but I trusted that the authorities would look after them and keep them out of harm’s way.
I scratched my leg and noticed with surprise that the dressing on my knee had been removed. In fact, feeling for the scratch, I could find no trace of it. That was strange but I just mentally shrugged –it wasn’t important.
At the back of my mind, I sort of recalled a conversation with Davina in the park by the fountain, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what the conversation was about. Then I smiled as I did remember that she was happy to have found a lovely dress in her wardrobe. I looked forward to seeing her in it tomorrow–well today really!
I yawned,feeling inexplicably tired again and then turned over and shut my eyes.
I was awoken by the sound of gentle wind chimes. The lights came up slowly and I opened my eyes. Stretching, I felt incredibly well and ready for the exciting day ahead.
‘Good morning, Rebecca.’
‘’Morning, Helena. What am I doing today?’
‘Deportment class after breakfast. You have fifty two minutes to get ready. You are to wear formal day wear.’
‘What shall I chose?’
‘Your clothes have been laid out for you.’
‘That’s good. I am not sure about what goes with what yet.’
‘You will learn soon, dear.’
‘I hope so. I do so love being pretty!’
I got up and padded over to the bathroom, taking my nightie and panties off and putting them down the chute as I passed it. I was very aware of my breasts swaying slightly as I walked. It was strange but rather pleasant sensation. After a refreshing and boob-tingling shower I paused to look at my reflection in the full length mirror.
I gazed at my naked body and marvelled at how different I looked from the time that I was a mere boy. My face was obviously feminine, narrow with nice wide eyes, long lashes, shaped eyebrows and a pert little nose that turned up very gently at the end. My lips were full and naturally red and suited my face to perfection. My neck was slim with no sign of an Adams apple. My body could never be mistaken for a boy. Looking at my breasts, I saw that they were now pert and somewhat larger than just a few days before with large, dark areolas.
My waist was much narrower now and more curvy and my bottom seemed to have more padding, but what really took my attention and confirmed what I felt the previous night was that my penis had all but disappeared inside my groin. I wondered how much longer I would have to wait before I no longer had it and was transformed into a true female who could produce baby girls.
Before returning to the bedroom to get dressed, I went to the toilet. Unfortunately, I made rather a mess of things as I could now no long direct my penis downwards and also I noticed some more traces of blood as I sat down and sprayed as I urinated.
I cleaned myself up as best I could, and then after washing my hands thoroughly, went back into the bedroom.
‘Helena.’
‘Yes, dear?’
‘I am having a lot of trouble using the toilet. It’s messy.’
‘That isn’t unusual, dear.’
‘And I am bleeding a bit.’
‘Once again, it is to be expected. You have a gynae and urology examination this afternoon at fourteen hundred hours. Please do not have any food before that.’
‘No breakfast then?’
‘No, you can go to the kitchens afterwards if you are hungry. Mention your concerns to the doctor.’
‘All right,’ I said as I proceeded to get dressed.
I went down to breakfast with the others. Davina kept giving me funny looks for some reason, but I ignored it. She can be a funny girl sometimes.
I just had some juice with my meds that morning but felt quite hungry as everyone else was having cooked breakfasts. I excused myself as soon as possible as Davina was being annoying and anyway, I didn’t want to watch them feeding their faces while I had to make do with juice.
I went back to my room and just sat and distractedly read a girlie magazine while waiting to go to deportment class. I was to meet Bethany and Davina there.
As I flicked through the glossy pages, I wondered what was up with Davina at breakfast, as a couple of times she had kicked my shins under the table and waggled her eyebrows at me. I had got a bit annoyed at that and just gave her a dirty look and carried on talking to Bethany about what was the best shade of lipstick when going out on a date with a boy for the first time. She was all for red, but I thought that that was a bit slutty.
Shrugging my shoulders, I looked at my finger watch and was just about to get up when my mini uPad chimed and vibrated. Picking it up, I looked at the message flashing up on the screen in a rather vivid red colour.
‘I must find a way to speak to Davina again,’ I thought, ‘no wonder she was reacting strangely to me…’
‘Rebecca, time for your class; you don’t want to be late!’
‘Oh…right,’ I said getting up and smoothing down my school skirt.
‘Have a nice day, Rebecca.’
‘Erm–thanks, Helena.’ I said as the door swooshed open and I hurried out and down the corridor to my class.
I was the last one in and that got a stern look from the teacher. I mouthed a sorry and sat next to Bethany. I frowned slightly as I couldn’t see Davina anywhere. I didn’t have time to ask Bethany where she was as the teacher started the rather intensive lesson right away.
An hour and a half later, the lesson was over. I don’t think that I took even half of what she was saying in and the teacher, Ms Park called me over as the others filed out.
‘Rebecca, you did not appear to be with us today. Do you have a problem?’
‘Erm, no, not really,’ I replied, trying to think on my feet, ‘Erm, I have medical examination later and I’m worried about it.’
Her rather severe features softened somewhat. ‘Don’t worry, dear. They are good doctors here and will do all they can to help you. These examinations are vital to your health. Now run along or you will miss your break time.’
‘Thank you, Ms Park.’
‘You’re welcome, dear.’
I ran out and caught up the others. Bethany was talking to Stacy as I approached. ‘–so I said to Lisa, you should really try green, with your auburn hair it would suit you––’
‘Beth, can I have a word?’ I said, touching her arm.
‘Okay, see you in a minute, Stacy–’
I pulled her over to the side and waited until the others went on ahead.
‘Bethany, where’s Davina?’
‘What are you whispering for? Didn’t you know, she was called to the medical centre just after breakfast. I don’t know why. Mind you, she was as white as a sheet when she got up. P’raps she’s caught some sort of bug–?’
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Susan Brown
Previously…
‘Rebecca, you did not appear to be with us today. Do you have a problem?’
‘Erm, no, not really,’ I replied, trying to think on my feet, ‘Erm, I have medical examination later and I’m worried about it.’
Her rather severe features softened somewhat. ‘Don’t worry, dear. They are good doctors here and will do all they can to help you. These examinations are vital to your health. Now run along or you will miss your break time.’
‘Thank you, Ms Park.’
‘You’re welcome, dear.’
I ran out and caught up the others. Bethany was talking to Stacy as I approached. ‘–so I said to Lisa, you should really try green, with your auburn hair it would suit you––’
‘Beth, can I have a word?’ I said, touching her arm.
‘Okay, see you in a minute, Stacy–’
I pulled her over to the side and waited until the others went on ahead.
‘Bethany, where’s Davina?’
‘What are you whispering for? Didn’t you know, she was called to the medical centre just after breakfast. I don’t know why. Mind you, she was as white as a sheet when she got up. P’raps she’s caught some sort of bug–?’
And now the story continues…
I felt decidedly faint and knew without a shadow of a doubt that Davina had been found out. Bethany was wittering on about her nails and she looked like she had no thoughts or worries about all the changes that were happening to us.
'I adore the frosty look on my nails; you should try it Becky–your nails are so boring, pink and not even shocking pink––'
'–look Beth, I have a bit of a headache so I'm going for a walk in the gardens.'
'Want me to come?' Bethany asked, brightly.
'That's all right. A bit of quiet time will do me good.'
'Okay, see you after break; don't forget that it’s hair care… I’m sooo looking forward to it–'
I left her at that. She wasn't helping me feel any better. She was much too over the top about everything. As I strolled round the lake, watching the fountains, I tried to think about what I should do now.
I almost wished that I was kind of like Beth and just accepted things. I wanted to be a girl now and I didn't think that it was just the “conditioning”.
Gazing up at a sky I noticed that it was grey and dismal. The rain was falling hard, but was being repelled by the force field. It may be cold, wet and miserable outside, but within the confines of the school gardens, it was warm, bright and felt like summer.
I sat down on the very seat where I had sat with Davina just yesterday, wondering what had happened to her, whether they found the scratches on her arm and if they had manipulated her mind. Were they aware that she had talked to me and that I had told Davina about my worries and concerns? Was I going to be next and will they take me away and subject me to some sort of brainwashing?
My head ached for real now, because I feared the future and wondered what had happened to the only person who, as far as I knew, other than myself had rebelled against the system. The anxiety almost overwhelmed me.
I breathed in deeply. Panicking would not help me one bit–I had to be strong to survive this onslaught. I waited for my heart to slow down and tried to think rationally about what may– or may not– have happened to Davina. It may well have been innocent and she might just have gone for one of the regular medicals to which we were subjected so frequently. However, if they did find out something, maybe my involvement–or any conversation about things–might not be discovered.
I had to stay positive, and act as if everything was normal. If I showed signs of worry, questions might get asked. I would have to go into ultra girlie mode and be as enthusiastic as Bethany to get through all this. I couldn't run and I couldn't hide so I would just go with the flow.
I stood up, brushed down my skirt, pushed my hair out of my eyes, put on a smile for any observing vids, and set off back indoors. I would do nothing for a few days to give any indication of rebellion: I would just bide my time and see what happened. Not bad logic for a twelve year old kid, but times were strange and I had had to do an awful lot of growing up in a very short space of time.
As I made my way down the corridor leading to my room, I glanced at my finger watch. I had fifteen minutes before I had to go to hair care. The door to my room opened silently as I approached.
‘Hello, Helena,’ I said cheerfully.
‘Hello, Rebecca, you sound happy.’
‘Yes, we have hair care in a few minutes, I just came in to change my blouse, it feels a bit yuckie after deportment.’
As I changed, Helena quizzed me. ‘How are you getting on with your lessons, Rebecca?’
‘Great, I have so much to learn. I can’t wait to be a real girl!’
‘That’s good. It’s nice that you are now accepting things more easily.’
‘Mmm––Oh, is Davina going to be in hair care class this afternoon?’
There was a pause. ‘I don’t have that information at the moment.’
‘Oh–never mind. I’ll just use the loo and then I had better get going.’
So, Davina was still not back. I wondered once again what was happening to her. Was it just a routine matter or was there something more sinister? I had no doubt at all, that despite what she said, Helena was perfectly well aware of the situation concerning my friend.
I felt a fair bit of discomfort when I went to the loo and the blood was quite noticeable in my wee. After cleaning myself up and readjusting my skirt, I went back into the bedroom. I didn’t want to tell Helena anything about the pains in my groin, but needed something for the nagging pain.
‘Helena, I have a bit of a headache, d’you have anything I could take?’
‘Of course, but you ought to see the doctor if it is worrying you.’
‘I will if the pills don’t work.’
I knew that if I told Helena about my real pain, she would insist on my going to the medical centre. I didn’t want to go within a mile of that place unless I absolutely had too!
I took my pills like a good girl and hurried off to the lesson.
I quite enjoyed playing about with my and other girls’ hair. I put the worries and concerns I had over Davina to the back of my mind and really got into the swing of things. The hair care lesson seemed to pass so fast and I was surprised that it was over so soon. I now had long wavy hair, slightly more blond than previously and I must admit that it looked great. Bethany–over the top, as usual–had gone for hair up and ringlets. It didn’t suit her, but she was happy and that was the main thing.
Lessons were over for the day and I decided to go for walk. I wanted to see as much as I could and discover if there were any weak points in the security. I was no expert, but thought that the more I knew of the layout, the better position I would be in to make an escape–I hoped.
Bethany and Rachel wanted me to go to the solarium with them as both girls liked the tanned look. Having read about the number of skin cancers that the old style solariums had caused, I wasn’t keen to try it, even though everyone says that it is as safe as smoking now is…not that we were allowed to smoke as it was considered to be unladylike.
As I walked and made mental notes of the various exits–locked to mere “Two Petals” like myself–I pondered about the changes in medicine that had occurred. It was strange how modern medicine had cured most things like cancers, heart disease and other killers, but not the common cold. Indeed, with organ cloning, the only thing that couldn’t be replaced yet was the brain and I understand that they were working on that.
And yet, science had spent years and billions of Europounds and Dollars in the attempt to resolve the birth-gender crisis and only now seemed to have at least found a reasonable chance of a solution. It made me shiver slightly that I was one of the guinea pigs upon which the future of humanity depended to overcome the enormous obstacle of no females being born.
I had my wireless earphones inserted as I listened to music on my mini uPad. I was humming a tune and looking as casual as possible as I tried to take everything in. I didn’t stick out in any way because one of the most popular pastimes at the school was walking. Mind you, it was getting a bit hard to concentrate as the pains in my groin were coming back with a vengeance and I was beginning to feel a bit faint. I sat down on a bench for a moment and felt rather strange. I could feel sweat trickling down my back and yet felt cold and I had begun to shiver.
I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them again, felt strangely detached. Looking down at my skirt, I saw that a red stain was growing on it. The only thing that concerned me was that I had ruined a perfectly good school skirt…
I could hear the sounds of warning alarms but ignored them. Closing my eyes, I felt rather light headed and confused. Someone touched my arm and I could hear them but it was as if I was hearing them from a great distance.
‘Rebecca, are you all right? Can you hear me?’
I sort of nodded, but couldn’t be bothered to open my eyes, and then I think I must have fallen asleep.
‘Hello, darling, how are you?’
I opened my eyes and there was Mummy looking down at me. She was so beautiful, her long blond hair framing her pretty face.
‘M–M–Mummy.’ I croaked, my mouth feeling as dry as the Sahara desert.
‘You’ve been unwell, love, but you’re getting better every day, your father and I will come and visit you as often as we can.’
‘I—I—I don’t under–understand.’
‘Don’t worry now, sweetheart; go back to sleep. They’re looking after you really well here and they will make you better soon.’
I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and I dived into a deep dark ocean…
I was at home with Mummy and Daddy. It was a lovely summer’s day. We were in the garden and the lawn looked so beautiful. I was playing with Peggy my Labradoodle; she was only a puppy and a very naughty girl. She had eaten a sausage off my plate. You see we were having a picnic on the lawn as it was my thirteenth birthday. I was wearing a pretty, flowery, summer dress and some brand new white shiny sandals.
The sun was so hot that I was wearing a straw Panama hat with a pink ribbon that trailed down the back and tickled my neck. I felt so pretty and was pleased that I was now allowed to wear makeup. I could taste the strawberries in my lipstick and see the mascara as I looked through my lashes. My nails were a shocking pink and glittered in the sunlight.
My parents were lying back, next to each other on a picnic blanket, they were holding hands–that was sweet–and were asleep. Mind you, the racket that Peggy was making would raise the dead. I got up, brushed the grass from my dress and wandered over to the bushes to which Peggy had just rushed. I could hear her barking at something. I hoped that it wasn’t a rabbit–we had lots in our garden. They were so sweet and had lovely fluffy tails.
I could hear her snuffling around behind a big bush and when I went behind it, I nearly screamed because there she was with a baby rabbit in her mouth, it was dead and blood was dripping from its mouth!
I screamed and then ran for my parents. The sun had gone in and clouds were rolling in, making the skin on my arms have goose bumps. My pretty sun hat flew off my head in the wind.
As I approached my Mummy and Daddy, I noticed that they hadn’t moved. With my screaming, you would have thought that they would at least sit up and see what all the fuss was about.
I skidded to a halt as I reached them. Rain had started to fall at first gently and then with a torrent. I was getting soaked and cold, it wasn’t the rain that was making me shiver though, it was the sight of my parents. They still had not moved. Their eyes were slightly open and they were not breathing. Daddy’s lips had a slight tinge of blue. Water streamed down their faces. Mummy’s makeup was running and her red lipstick was washing away making her lips blue too––
‘Mummy–––Daddy!’
I wakened with a jolt. I was wide awake and in my bed at school. I remembered what had happened to me: I had had some bleeding whilst out on a walk, felt rather unwell and must have fainted. I shivered slightly at the thought of the terrible nightmare that I had just had.
Surveying the familiar room, I breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was back to normal. Luckily, my nightmare had already receded into the distance and I was relieved it was just a bad dream and not the real thing. It was strange though, I wasn’t thirteen yet and I didn’t have a puppy. I didn’t even recognise the house where the bad dream had taken place. It was only a dream, although it felt extremely real.
‘Hello, Rebecca, how are you feeling, dear?’ asked Helena, soothingly.
‘All right, thank you. I had a funny turn, didn’t I?’
‘Yes, dear, you’re nearly better now though.’
‘What happened?’
‘Your doctor will be here shortly and she’ll explain.’
Before I had a chance to say anything, the door swooshed open and a doctor came in together with a nurse. The nurse just smiled at me and fiddled around at the end of the bed while the doctor came to me.
‘Well, Rebecca; it’s nice to see you awake.’
‘What happened?’
‘I’ll tell you in just a moment. Let me just have a quick look at you first.’
‘Shall I get out of bed?’
‘No, dear, you can’t get up yet,’ she replied, pulling the covers up from my feet and bunching them below my chest, stopping me from seeing what she was doing.
There was a series of bleeps coming from the bottom of the bed and the nurse looked up and winked. She seemed pleasant and I smiled at her. It was funny; I couldn’t feel much from the area where the doctor was looking. I assumed that the area must have been anaesthetised or something. I wasn’t worried though as she seemed to know what she was doing. Presently she replaced the bed covers and came and sat by the bed.
‘Now, let me tell you what’s happened. We have a no secrets policy here so we must get you up to speed. First of all, this may look like your room, but it isn’t; you’re in the medical centre. Research shows that patients recover more quickly if they feel they’re in an environment which is familiar to them. That’s why we have replicated your bedroom down to the last screw, so that you feel at home and comfortable. The bed you are on is a special medical bed that is looking after all your bodily functions while you get better––’
‘–Sorry to interrupt, Doctor, but what’s wrong with me?’
The nurse giggled behind her hand and the doctor gave her an irritated glance.
‘Sylvia, any more of that and I’ll have you emptying bed pans until Christmas.’
‘Sorry, Doctor,’ Sylvia replied, but she was still grinning so I assumed the threat to be an idle one.
‘Now, where was I?’ the doctor continued after another withering glance at Nurse Sylvia. ‘Oh yes, I was trying to say, or rather answer your question. You might realise that you have been changing rather rapidly and your transformation has been accelerating lately?’
‘Yes and I was bleeding a bit when I went to the toilet.’
‘That’s right, this was all as expected. What’s been happening to you–without being too technical–is that the treatment and medications have been transforming your former male body into a female one–you know this from the information that you have already been given, but being a new treatment, it has been difficult to gauge how quickly the treatment would produce the desired effects. What has happened to you is that, for some reason, the treatment worked much faster than we anticipated.’
‘So–am–I a g—girl now?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, congratulations you are now a girl with a fully functioning female body which can make babies. In addition to this–and this is so exciting–initial tests show that it is highly likely that you will have female children.’
I looked up at her and my mouth dropped open in amazement. ‘So, I’m the first?’
‘Erm no, the second. The first one was your friend Davina, but she’s had a reaction to the treatment and is in intensive care. I can’t say more at the moment, but we have high hopes that she’ll pull through. She lost a lot of blood and had further complications before the medical squad could get to her and she’s still very poorly. She was on a slightly different medication regime to you and this may be why she has had problems which you have avoided. You do have a few problems though.’
‘I do?’
‘Well, at the moment you’re hooked up to the medibed but shortly, we’ll unplug you, as it were. We will sedate you before we do this as it would be unpleasant otherwise but after that, you’ll be able to get up and move about for a while. The only thing is that as your body has had such radical changes to not only your reproductive system but also to your urinary system, in effect you have urinary incontinence.’
‘Does that mean––?’
‘–that you have no control over your bladder at the moment? Yes, think of it like a baby who has no control. Your body has yet to become accustomed to your new plumbing. Your brain will, in a fairly short space of time, re-wire itself and realise when to go and when not to. In the mean time, you’ll have to wear special panties that will help you until you regain bladder control.’
‘You mean nappies? Yukk!’ I said with distaste.
‘Nappies, diapers, whatever you want to call them, yes. But it’s only temporary.’
‘Until when?’
‘I can’t say, but you’re young, strong and healthy so it shouldn’t be too long. Now, I have a few things to do, so it’s time for you to have a nap but are there any questions you have first?’
‘If I’m the first–or rather second–when will the other girls change?’
‘I can’t say. It all depends on the individual. Once the correct treatment is evaluated–with your help, of course–then the whole school will be given the treatment and we’ll be able to get rid of this curse that has been hanging over us for so long. Now, when you wake up, you will be back in your own room and you will be able to get up. Helena will let your personal nurse and counsellor know that you’re awake and they will help you with your ongoing medical needs and assimilation. Right close your eyes and count to ten.’
‘One.’
‘Two,’
‘Thr…’
I woke up smiling. I had a stretch and opened my eyes. The lights were up and glancing over to the wall, I could see the huge vid of The Grand Canyon at dawn. The ceiling clock indicated that it was eight o’clock in the morning.
‘Good morning, Rebecca.’
‘’Morning, Helena.’
‘Are you feeling well?’
‘Yes thanks.’ I said as I stretched again and then yawned. I had no aches and pains and that was good. Mind you I was feeling really happy. I was one of the first girls in our group to be changed and I was now a real girl!
I felt down below and frowned as I felt the padding around my new girlie slit. I wanted to have a look at it. It was like a new toy that I wanted to play with–well not play exactly–but you know what I mean, I hope!
‘The nurse will be here shortly.’
‘Can’t I get up?’
‘Wait until she comes, dear.’
‘All right.’
I just lay back and surreptitiously felt the bits that I could reach. My breasts felt tender, a bit larger than I remembered and very sensitive. I felt a spasm of pleasure as my finger played with a nipple and also felt a strange wetness down below that I don’t think had anything to do with wee––
The door swished open and Sylvia, the nurse entered. ‘Sleeping Beauty awakes,’ she said, smiling.
‘I don’t know about the beauty bit, but I’m awake.’
‘Well, you’re back in your own room now.’
‘Can I get up yet?’
‘Of course,’
I won’t go into detail about matters of hygiene, those of you who have to wear such things will know what I’m talking about and those who don’t–well, I’m sure you really don’t want to know. After my shower though, I did get to have a look see at my new equipment. It was strange, seeing a slit where my penis used to be. I was tempted to have a rummage and a poke about down there, but knowing that “eyes” were everywhere, I didn’t do anything.
I was excused lessons for the foreseeable future until I was released by the medical team. I was still somewhat weak and slept rather a lot. I was asked not to mention my transition and so I kept quiet. I understood from Helena that Davina was getting better but she would not be back in circulation for a while and was not allowed visitors yet. I wondered when I would hear from my parents, but had been told that they had been transferred to a more secure location and I would hear from them as soon as it was safe.
My uPad and mini uPad had been replaced as I was told that the old model was now out of date. I looked forward to playing with my new ones, which had more functionality and did things that were evidently unbelievable.
I continued to go to meals with the others and hang out with Bethany, Chloe, Rachel and Helen. They were all very girlie and I loved them for it. Davina still wasn’t well so I sent her a card, a real old fashioned paper one. I didn’t get any response, but I wasn’t really expecting one.
I loved wearing pretty clothes and wanted to embrace my femininity whole heartedly. Wearing incontinence pants was a bit of a drag, and although things were getting better because I was now able to control myself to a limited extent, I was still leaking like a proverbial sieve, especially at night: I just got used to it after a while.
Quite soon, I was allowed back into normal lessons and I was so pleased to be with my friends and learn all things feminine! My days of being a boy were now in the far reaches of my memory and I never wanted to return to being one.
Every Monday, we had assembly and we all trouped in and sat on our seats. This was the only time that we were all together as a school and I could see the other pupils and teachers.
In the few weeks since my change, several of the other girls had changed too and it was now no secret that many of my friends, including the ecstatic Bethany, were fully functioning females.
Everything went quiet as the principal climbed on the rostrum and the lights dimmed.
‘Well girls, I would like to bring you up to date with what has been happening outside our own little community. I realise there have been a few problems with external communications of late, but we are doing all we can to rectify the matter. To us here at the school, the outside world seems far distant but we must never forget that we are part of the wider world and you all have an important part to play in the continuance of the human race.
‘Other countries are not as fortunate as ourselves and lack the knowledge and medical science to replicate the exciting things that we are doing here and at the other centres around the country. They want us to share our findings and our government will do so when the time is right. Unfortunately, certain countries feel that we should share our findings now, but our government is standing firm as we do not want, what is still a fledgling procedure, to be used before it is fully tested and evaluated. Also the costs involved in getting the answer to our dreams have been tremendous and we have asked these countries to share our burden by paying a reasonable fee for the expertise that we have so painstakingly acquired.
‘I regret that certain countries–for example France, Brazil, Mexico and several Middle Eastern states–have declined to give us such financial assistance and will be excluded for the time being from the first wave of information when it becomes available for distribution. Other countries like U.S.A.C. are reluctant to pay but as we have a special relationship with them, it is hoped that such resistance will change sooner rather than later.
‘On to other matters, I regret to inform you that Indo-China has declared war against Japan, Australia and New Zealand. Intense negotiations are taking place to try to stop the war, but these negotiations have not, as yet, born fruit. There has been a great loss of life and our prayers go out to those who have suffered.
‘Whilst there is tension around the world, we feel that it is best that any communication that you have with your families should be through official channels and therefore, until this crisis is over, we will have to monitor all outside communications from now on.
‘Now to more pleasant matters. The new salon is now open. Please use your uPads to make appointments. The gym has some new equipment for those who wish to tone up your bodies–and what girl does not want to have perfect body! I have pleasure to announce that the eagerly awaited holo chamber is nearing completion and very soon, four petals and above will be able to experience almost unlimited scenarios for you to enjoy. Details will be provided on your uPads.
‘Finally, I have great pleasure in announcing that we have eight new three petals amongst us. Please come forward, Julie, Teresa, Bethany, Rebecca, Suzanne, Rachel, Chloe and Helen.’
We all looked at each other, smiled with surprise and then stood up. We went to the raised stage, and were met by the smiling principal who, in turn, took off our two petal badges and replaced them with our new three petal ones. The whole school then stood and cheered and clapped us. I was so proud at that moment and became quite tearful. I was now a true girl, and a three petal. Things just couldn’t be better for me.
From that point I was happier than I had been in a long while. I enjoyed my lessons and being with my friends. I was a bit upset a few weeks later when I heard that Davina had been transferred to another place due to ongoing health issues, but she had sent me several messages via my mini uPad to say that she was getting better all the time.
I had also received a few messages from my parents. No more vidicasts because of security issues, but it was nice to hear from them anyway. I ached to see them again but realised that conditions in the outside world were none too bright at the moment and I needed to be patient.
I did get to explore my new body when I though I wasn’t being observed–normally at night, with the lights off–I won’t go into details, but I was very pleased with my new equipment and couldn’t wait until I was old enough to get married and have babies with the willing help of a handsome–correction, drop dead gorgeous man!
I spent a lot of time with my Helper, Mariette; she was a five petal and sixteen years old. She helped me with all those little things that aren’t covered by the normal school curriculum. We went for long walks and chatted about all things feminine. She loved clothes and often advised me about what goes with what and why I should have my hair like this or that. We also talked about boys, of course. It was funny, when I was a boy, I had no interest in the opposite sex; now, I couldn’t stop thinking about them. It was obvious to me that girls are far more mature than boys!
We also talked about politics and what was going on in the world. She wanted my opinion on everything from the treatment that we were receiving to what I felt about not seeing or hearing much from my parents. It was refreshing to talk to her about things and I always felt better after our little talks.
One evening, I was returning to my room after saying goodbye to my friends. I was just waiting for my door to recognise me and open, when I saw Mariette approaching.
‘Hi, Mariette.’
‘Hello, Becky, just going to your room?’
‘Yes, I’m tired, I need to change and chill out for a bit before bedtime. There’s a new game on my uPad I want to try too.’
‘Well, I won’t keep you. See you tomorrow.’
She took my hand and squeezed it, I felt a sharp stab of pain and then she hugged me and whispered, ‘Remember Dada. Show no surprise; meet me at the lake tomorrow during break.’
‘Bye,’ she said and walked on as the door swooshed open and I entered my room.
‘Hello, Rebecca.’
‘Hi, Helena. I’m quite tired so I’m getting changed and going to bed.
‘All right, dear.’
I went into the bathroom and changed into a nightie and clean incontipants. Looking casually at my hand, I could see a small puncture and a tiny blob of blood.
After brushing my hair and scunchiefying it, I went straight to bed after pretending to take my meds. The pills were in my cheek and as soon as the lights went out, I spat them out.
I stared up at the dim green clock on the ceiling and then thought about things. Since being pricked by Mariette, my heart had been racing and it was all I could do to keep looking calm and normal for the ever present and watchful surveillance.
Mariette had given me my unlock code word and reinforced it with the pin prick. The fact that I didn’t shout out or jump was more by luck and shock than anything else. Everything came back to me as the secret lock had opened the door to my secure memories buried deep inside a little corner of my brain.
Thoughts came flooding out about all the things that had been happening to me. Davina’s ‘illness’ and convenient transfer. The lack of communication with my parents. The fact that I had been so passive and accepting of all that had happened to me. The change of my mini and maxi uPad for a newer model. The fog had lifted once more and I wasn’t going to allow myself to be put under again if I could help it. There was something sinister going on here and I knew that we had not been given all of the facts regarding the state of things in the outside world.
The fact that Mariette knew my unlock code and how to get me back to reality meant that she must be part of some sort of resistance movement who had been given the information needed to snap me out of my conditioning. It had to be that, otherwise I was lost.
I felt for my mini uPad on the bedside cabinet and brought it under my covers. On the dimmest settings I gave myself a reminder of the following morning. It was one word and it was all I needed.
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Susan Brown
Previously…
I stared up at the dim green clock on the ceiling and then thought about things. Since being pricked by Mariette, my heart had been racing and it was all I could do to keep looking calm and normal for the ever present and watchful surveillance.
Mariette had given me my unlock code word and reinforced it with the pin prick. The fact that I didn’t shout out or jump was more by luck and shock than anything else. Everything came back to me as the secret lock had opened the door to my secure memories buried deep inside a little corner of my brain.
Thoughts came flooding out about all the things that had been happening to me. Davina’s ‘illness’ and convenient transfer. The lack of communication with my parents. The fact that I had been so passive and accepting of all that had happened to me. The change of my mini and maxi uPad for a newer model. The fog had lifted once more and I wasn’t going to allow myself to be put under again if I could help it. There was something sinister going on here and I knew that we had not been given all of the facts regarding the state of things in the outside world.
The fact that Mariette knew my unlock code and how to get me back to reality meant that she must be part of some sort of resistance movement who had been given the information needed to snap me out of my conditioning. It had to be that, otherwise I was lost.
I felt for my mini uPad on the bedside cabinet and brought it under my covers. On the dimmest settings I gave myself a reminder of the following morning. It was one word and it was all I needed.
And now the story continues…
I awoke the next morning to the sound of Big Ben chiming. The lights came up slowly and the vid showed a live feed of the Thames with the Houses of Parliament in the background.
Stretching, I felt relaxed and ready for the day. I felt relieved that no one had messed with my brain overnight and smiled ruefully as I realised that I wouldn’t know if they had done so. I did remember my encounter with Mariette yesterday, the pin prick and the unlock word “Dada”.
In all the time I had spent with Mariette, I had never realised that she was not what she seemed. It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside to know that I wasn’t alone in all this. I still didn’t know why the authorities were treating us like this and what their motives were. Perhaps my meeting with Mariette would give me some answers–
‘Good morning, Rebecca.’
‘’Morning, Helena,’ I replied cheerfully.
‘How are you feeling today?’
‘Fine thanks.’
‘That’s good. You have history, geography, home cookery and deportment today, so you had better get a move on.’
‘All right,’ I replied getting out of bed and padding to the bathroom.
I slipped off my cotton nightie and pushed it down the laundry chute Then, after removing my soiled incontipants, noting happily that they were not as wet as yesterday morning, I had a quick shower.
It still felt strange, having a slit instead of male genitals down below. however it was beginning to feel more or less normal now. My breasts seemed a bit bigger every time I felt them and I shivered as my fingers brushed against my pert nipples. Did all girls feel so sensitive in that area?
Once I had been dried by the shower module, I had a look in the long mirror–as I did every morning. All I saw was a girl, quite pretty, I think, with blue eyes and long slightly wavy blond hair. I wondered if I should feel more rebellious as I knew that I was being manipulated and abused both mentally and physically. Information was being kept from me and I still had no clue as to where my parents might be.
Looking at my body, glowing slightly after my shower though, I couldn’t feel any protest in me concerning the way I looked and the fact that I was now 100% female. Whether this was the conditioning or the way I felt deep down inside, I hoped to find out soon. Maybe Mariette might be able to give me the answers I needed?
As usual, my uniform, was laid out on my bed–which had been made–when I returned from my shower. It was strange that I never saw who put the clothes on the bed or made it. Shrugging–I had other things to worry about it today–I pulled on my new incontipants feeling very miffed that I still had to wear them instead of some comfy silky panties, and then shortly after, I was ready for the day ahead and all it might bring.
There was a soft chime. ‘Rebecca, Bethany is waiting for you outside with Rachel.’
‘Okay, please tell them I won’t be a moment.’
‘Yes, dear.’
After quickly brushing my hair and spritzing myself with some scent, I was outside in next to no time and hugging my friends.
Breakfast was a happy affair as we three petals flaunted our new brooches at the others. Mind you, on our table, other than Beth, Rach and I; there were two, four petals, a fiver and only one girl who was a mere two-petaler. Marcia–a black girl, with a ready smile and a happy disposition–wasn’t bothered that she had not yet transitioned. She was deeply religious and believed that the Lord would take her time to change Marcia and the new girl had decided that she would just take every day as it came and enjoy the ride.
Everyone took their medication, as usual, but as I took mine, I pouched the pills into my cheeks: I didn’t want to take anything like that at the moment. a few minutes later, under the guise of wiping my mouth, I spat the pills into the paper serviette, immediately throwing the screwed up tissue down the waste pod.
After breakfast Bethany, who had the same lesson as me–history–walked arm in arm with me as we followed the pulsating green arrows to our lecture theatre.
‘This is great, isn’t it,’ Bethany enthused, bouncing with excitement at the thought.
‘What’s great?’ I asked.
‘All this, being a girl, dressing all pretty, learning all we need to so that we can be the best women we can be. I can’t wait to get a husband so I can try out my new equipment–’
‘–Bethany, you’re only twelve; we’ve years to go before that happens!’
‘I know, but a girl can dream, can’t she?’ she sighed.
Watching her as she bounced along babbling about everything from hair extensions to stiletto heels, I wondered how she ever had managed before this happened. All right, she was a tranny while she was at the boys school, like a few others, but now she was a full girl, I felt that she had gone so far over the top, she was in danger of drowning in femininity. All right, I liked being a girl, and I was sure that if my conditioning and other things that had been done to me were stripped away, I would still like being a girl. But I didn’t want to forget my roots. I used to be a boy and I didn’t want the happy memories I had as a boy, to be forgotten.
As soon as we arrived at the lecture theatre and found our seats, we said hello to a few friends and then settled back as Miss Lacy, the history teacher, entered wearing the usual, crisp, smart business suit and silk blouse that the teachers normally wore. She was, like all the teachers, incredibly beautiful. I felt envious as she walked up to the lectern in her heels, body swaying slightly. Her legs were long and thin and encased in sheer, black synthosilk stockings. She looked so elegant and poised as she stood smiling at us.
‘Good morning, ladies. I’m pleased to see that we have more three petals among us. Those of you who are still twos, shouldn’t worry though, your time will come and you will all, in time, become fully assimilated.
‘Right then, ladies, today’s lecture. Last time we talked about the Nineteenth and Twentieth centuries where women had to fight and sometimes die because they felt that women were equal to men. Today I want to speak about a few of the events that occurred that have brought us to the situation in which we find ourselves today. Following the death of Queen Elizabeth, the short reign of Charles the Third was cut short after the tragic hunting accident at Balmoral where he was gored by a stag. King William and Queen Katherine have both stated publicly that they will be petitioning the government to drop the outmoded male prerogative to be next in line when girls are being born again––’
I never liked history much and I must admit that I switched off a bit as I was wondering how my meeting with Mariette would go that afternoon at break. I did so hope that I would get some answers. As we left the lecture theatre, my mini uPad pinged. Checking the screen, I noticed I had a message from Mariette. ‘Can’t meet at break, something has come up. See you at the fountain at eight.’
I was a bit disappointed that I would have to wait all day to see her, but there was nothing I could do about it and so I just carried on as normal. All our lessons seemed to drag that day, I tried to sound all girlie and keen but it was hard work. Bethany’s uber girlieness was beginning to grate somewhat as we finished tea and I nearly bolted to my room wanting to have time to myself before meeting Mariette.
Helena greeted me; ‘Hello, Rebecca, have you had a nice day?’
‘Yes thanks, a bit tiring, but I did learn lots.’
‘You have a medical tomorrow.’
‘What’s that about?’
‘It’s a gynae exam, they want to check that you are functioning okay and they need to do some tests.’ I didn’t like the sound of that but there was nothing I could do. I just hoped that they couldn’t establish that I hadn’t taken any meds lately.
I went and had a shower and then after changing into a white silk blouse and knee length black skirt, I sat down and read a book on my UPad. It was a slushy romantic novel, but I liked it as the girl got the boy–eventually.
After a bit, I drank some Zinga and then before resuming my book, I looked up. ‘Helena, any news about my parents? I haven’t had a message from them for ages.’
‘I haven’t been given any information today, but I believe that they are in transit at the moment so communications are difficult. I have logged your concern with the Coms Department and when they hear anything, they will send you an update.’
‘Thanks, Helena.’
‘That’s all right, dear. You do know that your personal counsellor will talk to if you have any worries.’
‘Yes. Erm thanks, Helena.’
‘That’s all right, dear. Are you visiting anyone before bed time?’
‘NO…I mean yes, I have to see Mariette about school things at eight. We are going to walk in the gardens.’
‘That’s nice, dear, don’t forget to take a wrap, it can be cool in the evening.’
‘I won’t.’
I pretended to read my book as I thought about what I had said to Helena. I had to tell her that I was meeting Mariette because I had no doubt that I would be monitored and observed as soon a I left my room. It was lucky that Mariette was my Helper and it was perfectly natural that we should meet up. I just hoped that “they” would not be able to overhear any conversation we might have–
I must have dropped off as I was awoken by my finger watch vibrating gently. I was disorientated for a moment and then, blearily looking at the time, I noticed that it was seven forty.
I went to the bathroom and used the toilet. It was still a bit messy down there and had to change my incontipants again!
In an attempt to wake myself up a bit more, I washed my face which freshened me up. After I had dried myself, I put on a little foundation, blush, eye shadow and lippy. I looked slightly more human then and I looked even better once I had brushed my hair. After pronouncing myself fit to go out, I left the bathroom and went over to the closet. Opening one of the many small drawers built into the side I picked up a silk wrap and put it around my shoulders, pinning my three petal brooch to hold it in position. I slipped on some comfortable court shoes and then I was ready.
‘’Bye, Helena,’
As the door closed behind me, I could hear Helena say, ‘goodbye.’
I hurried down the corridor realising I was a mite late. I went out into one of the many open spaces which led to the park and fountains and noticed that there were a lot of people around; walking, talking, going to the ciné theatre or perhaps going to watch a play staged by the enthusiastic, if a trifle talent-less, theatre group. I was being a bit catty there, as they weren’t that awful!
Other girls were sitting in the street cafes or riding bikes. It was a pleasant evening and although it was raining above the force field, in the huge atrium where I now was, it was just like a warm summers evening.
I reached the park as the central clock tower–all glass and crystal–chimed eight. Over in the distance, I could see Mariette sitting on one of the benches staring at the fountain which threw water up into the air in colourful streams, as hidden lights changed colour every few moments. It was all so beautiful and I increased my pace so that I could reach Mariette and the pretty fountain as soon as possible.
My heart started pounding as I got nearer. I noticed that although her back was turned to me, she was speaking on her mini uPad.
I was about fifty metres away when I nearly jumped out of my skin as I was grabbed firmly by the arm by someone. I turned and looked.
‘What?’
‘Hi, Rebecca, I’m glad I caught you. I need to speak to you, I’m very worried about my hair colour, you see I want––’
‘–Bethany,’ I responded, rather crossly, ‘I have to go and see Mariette, can we talk about this tomorrow?’
‘No, this is very important.’
I was virtually dragged away and led over to some trees and bushes while Bethany prattled away, holding my arm in a grip that was surprisingly strong for a girl of her slight stature. ‘I want to go blond, but my hair is brunette now and Miss Crosby says that I can’t keep chopping and changing, but I think that it’s––’
‘–Bethany––’
‘–important, don’t you? I like your hair––’
‘–I have to go.––’
‘–it’s just the shade of blonde I want, thought I think it would suit you better as straight––’
We had gone behind a huge bush and it almost felt like I was in an impenetrable jungle I couldn’t see anyone else and my arm was hurting from where Bethany had gripped it so hard. She stopped suddenly and looked at me.
‘Bethany––’
‘Shhh.’
She put her fingers to her lips and then peeped through the bushes. Then she turned to me.
‘We haven’t got much time so I’ll be quick. Mariette’s a plant. She’s in with them. They want to find out if you’re a rebel or one of them. They aren’t sure about you, even though they messed with your mind. Evidently they can only do so much to turn you into one of their tame little clones. A bit like someone hypnotised can’t go and do something that’s against their nature.’
I watched her as she talked. There was none of that, ultra, ultra girlieness in her voice. She looked and sounded serious and not the normal lovable, and more than a little grating, airhead that I had become used to of late.
‘I don’t––’
‘–understand. I know Becky, but believe me, this is not a holiday camp. They killed Davina––’
‘Killed!’
‘Well the treatment did–’
‘How d’you know?’
‘We haven’t time to go into this. Mariette’s waiting and she’ll get very suspicious if you don’t turn up. Look–how can I say this–I am your cousin. Your Auntie––is my mum. There’s a lot you need to know and you must trust me.’
‘Why? You could be one of them.’
‘I’m not. I hate them. Alright, I am or was a tranny and I loved being girlie but I didn’t want to a be guinea pig. Lots of girls have died and more will, too. How can I prove to you? Oh, I know–your mum has six toes on her left foot and your dad calls her Flopsie in private. I could tell you more but we haven’t got time. D’you believe me.’
I looked at her and then noticed for the first time that she had a similar shaped nose and eyes to my mum, looking closer I could definitely see the family resemblance–
I took a deep breath.
‘Okay, I—I believe you. What do I have to do?’
‘Go and see Mariette, deny everything, make her feel that you think she’s daft and then go back to your room. We’ll talk again when it’s safe. Oh––’ she fished in her bag and pulled out a small envelope, ‘take your medication as normal but take one of these afterwards when you aren’t being observed; they counteract the effects of the crap they’ve been giving us and is untraceable, now, for goodness sake, go!’
I put the pills in my shoulder bag and before I knew it, I was pushed out of the bushes with some force. Mariette was still sitting on the bench as I hurried up.
‘Sorry I’m late, I had to go to the loo,’ I said breathlessly
She looked at me and smiled sympatheticaly. ‘Poor you, that incontinence thing isn’t nice. I had some of that when I was transf–anyway, enough of that. Sit down and we can talk. No one knows that you were coming?’
‘Only Helena.’
‘What?’ She looked alarmed.
‘I had to tell her. It’s obvious we’d be seen so I told her that we were going to talk about school matters.’
She seemed to relax visibly. Fleetingly I wondered if I was wrong about her–but no, my instincts were to believe Beth and I would do as she said.
‘Well, Becky,’ Mariette said after looking round to check we were unobserved. ‘I’m glad I got to you before anything nasty or permanent happens to you. Being in the resistance––’
‘–Mariette?’
‘Yes, what?’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘The resistance, you know–we need to get you away and––’
‘–Why? What are you talking about? What is this resistance? I’m happy here. If you aren’t happy, you should speak to your counsellor. I adore being a girl and wearing pretty things. I want to get married when I’m old enough and give birth to baby girls. I’d love to have a handsome husband and I just can’t wait to have a family. Look, Mariette, I’ve gotta go.’
I stood up and ran off down the gravel path away from Mariette and into the school. I ran through the atrium and along the corridors until on finding myself at my door, it opened to the imprint of my hand.
I entered and sank on to the bed, my breath coming in gasps.
‘Rebecca, are you all right, dear?’
‘Yes, I—I—I’m okay,’ I wheezed.
‘You don’t sound it, dear, you seem breathless and upset.’
‘I—it’s Mariette.’
‘What about her, dear?’
‘Sh—she said some strange things. I think she might not be well.’
‘What sort of strange things?’
I had managed to get my breath back a bit now and thought fast. ‘She was saying silly things about some sort of resistance and nasty things happening to me.’
‘Well, it sounds like she needs some help and that’s what we’re here for. You’re a very brave girl telling me this. I will see that she does get some help.’
‘Why do you think that she said those horrible things, Helena?’
There was a pregnant pause. ‘I don’t know, dear,’ came the reply.
‘Is it her time of the month or something?’
‘Perhaps. Don’t worry, the medical team will sort everything out for her.’
‘Good, I like her and want her to be happy here, just like I am.’
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Previously…
‘–Mariette?’
‘Yes, what?’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘The resistance, you know–we need to get you away and––’
‘–Why? What are you talking about? What is this resistance? I’m happy here. If you aren’t happy, you should speak to your counsellor. I adore being a girl and wearing pretty things. I want to get married when I’m old enough and give birth to baby girls. I’d love to have a handsome husband and I just can’t wait to have a family. Look, Mariette, I’ve gotta go.’
I stood up and ran off down the gravel path away from Mariette and into the school. I ran through the atrium and along the corridors until on finding myself at my door, it opened to the imprint of my hand.
I entered and sank on to the bed, my breath coming in gasps.
‘Rebecca, are you all right, dear?’
‘Yes, I—I—I’m okay,’ I wheezed.
‘You don’t sound it, dear, you seem breathless and upset.’
‘I—it’s Mariette.’
‘What about her, dear?’
‘Sh—she said some strange things. I think she might not be well.’
‘What sort of strange things?’
I had managed to get my breath back a bit now and thought fast. ‘She was saying silly things about some sort of resistance and nasty things happening to me.’
‘Well, it sounds like she needs some help and that’s what we’re here for. You’re a very brave girl telling me this. I will see that she does get some help.’
‘Why do you think that she said those horrible things, Helena?’
There was a pregnant pause. ‘I don’t know, dear,’ came the reply.
‘Is it her time of the month or something?’
‘Perhaps. Don’t worry, the medical team will sort everything out for her.’
‘Good, I like her and want her to be happy here, just like I am.’
And now the story continues…
Shortly afterwards I went to bed, I think Helena wanted to ask me more questions, but I said I was very tired. Not a lie, I was tired, drained, I felt a bit sick, confused and a lot of other things.
I got ready for bed as quickly as I could considering that I had remove my makeup, have a shower as I felt all stinky and sweaty, put moisturiser on my face, slip into something comfy–my pink satin jim-jams fitted that bill–take my pills and green medicine, and then finally get into bed, putting my shoulder bag down by the side as usual.
As soon as I lay my head on the pillow, I yawned theatrically and said, ‘G’night, Helena, lights off.’
‘Good night, dear, sweet dreams.’
The lights faded and then all I could see was the ceiling clock and a few lights on the monitors. I waited for a while, feeling slightly nauseous after taking the meds and then I reached down for my bag, pulling it carefully under the covers and feeling inside. The envelope with the pills that Bethany had given me was on top and I slid my hand in, took out one of the pills, slipped it it my mouth and swallowed. I hoped that these pills worked as they should and counteracted the effects of the meds that I had taken earlier.
Then I put my bag beside my bed again; I would have to think of a place to hide those pills, because an envelope in my bag was a rather obvious place to search. I had little doubt now that our rooms were searched, as that was the sort of thing I would do if I was in their position. Perhaps my undies’ drawer would do?
Before falling asleep, I thought about Mariette and Bethany, marvelling how I could get two people so wrong. I had been convinced that Mariette was a “good guy”, but now realised that she was part of the ruthless organisation that was running this place. I couldn’t believe how different Bethany was to how I had always known her to be. She appeared to be a long way from the ditzy airhead I thought her to be. She was my cousin! That was a revelation. I wondered how I didn’t pick up on it before and why she never said anything to me while we were at the boys’ school, let alone when we had been transferred to the girls one.
After that, my thoughts turned to Davina, wondering how she had died and why. Did she know too much or was she just not the right material for the girls they wanted to produce? How many other innocents had died in the process of forcing perfectly good, happy boys to become unwilling girls?
I stifled my sobs in my pillow, as I didn’t want Helena to investigate. I had no idea how closely monitored I was. Maybe any unusual sounds might be picked up by her sensitive microphones.
After a few minutes of wracking sobs and tears, I began to feel a little better. As my mum always said, a good cry would always clear the cobwebs.
By now I was very weary so, hoping that nothing drastic would happen overnight, I gave into my tiredness, turned over away from the blinking monitor lights and just went to sleep, hoping that the next day would be better for me than this one had been.
I wakened to the sound of a soft clarinet and orchestra as the lights faded up. The huge vidi window showed a picture of The Great Barrier Reef. It was so beautiful and the music too, made me want to cry. I realised I was so much more emotional now I was a girl!
‘Good Morning, Rebecca.’
‘’Morning, Helena, what’s that music?’
‘It’s Mozart’s Clarinet Concerto in A Major K.622; it is beautiful isn’t it?’
‘Yes it is.’ I sighed, listening for a while before I had to get up. Eventually the piece finished, so I stretched and slipped the covers off. I wanted everything to appear normal, so I went through my normal routine.
‘Don’t forget to you have your gynae examination this morning so no breakfast.’
‘No breakfast, why?’
‘They will be taking bloods and doing other tests, so the medical team advise no food until after your examination.’
‘Mmm.’ I said as I padded to the shower room, taking my bag–as I always did. It was virtually an extension of my arm by now and that was good as I needed to hide those pills somewhere…
I entered the shower and took a chance. I had already unzipped my bag and as I put it down, swiftly grabbed the envelope with the pills and scrunched it in my hand. In my other hand I had already palmed something I would need shortly.
I jumped in the shower and the door automatically slid to a close behind me. The shower pod had frosted glass and I really didn’t think they would put a monitor point inside the shower unless they had hundreds of people watching all the girls all the time. Anyway, a while back, I had stubbed my toe against a metal plate and it had moved slightly. I had put it back in place and had thought nothing more of it.
Stooping down, I saw the plate again and using the thin nail file I had palmed, I prised up the edge of the plate and it came away from the wall, leaving a hole with some pipes and wires in it. It must have been some sort of inspection hatch or something for when the shower went wrong. I shoved the envelope in the space and pushed the cover plate back. The plate had siliconed edges, to keep out the damp, I presumed. I was able to push it back without much difficulty and then I immediately started the shower and set it on morning fresh.
I intended leaving the pills there and get them back after I was sure that I was safe.
After my shower and blow dry, I put on some clean incontipants and returned to the bedroom. My tummy was playing up a bit with the nerves. I really didn’t want to have a medical exam, especially as I now knew that I was some sort of guinea pig. I was sure that I had a good idea as to how laboratory rats felt. All this I kept to myself and I just put on a happy face for Helena and anyone else watching.
My bed had been made as usual, and a shift dress had been laid out for me. It wasn’t very flattering, being rather shapeless, but as I was going to take it off when I had the medical I didn’t complain much and just said, ‘I don’t like the colour, I prefer peach to burgundy.’
‘It’s been chosen so you can slip it on and off easily today. Sorry about the colour though.’
‘That’s all right. The other girls won’t see me; they will be in lessons, lucky things.’ As I slipped on the dress, I asked, ‘Helena, will I be able to go to any lessons today? We have makeup and cookery too! I don’t want to miss either.’
‘You shouldn’t bank on going to any lessons today, Rebecca dear.’
‘Oh, can I at least put on some makeup?’ I tried to sound whiney and I think I was successful.
‘Sorry, dear, no makeup either. You have an hour to kill, why don’t you just rest and I’ll call you when it’s time to go.
‘All right,’ I said picking up my miniUpad and plugging in my wireless ’phones.
To this day, I can’t remember what music I played while sitting there. My mind was on other things. I was finding it hard to concentrate on being the perfect, girlie girl and wished I had Beth’s obvious talents in that direction. I had hoped to see her at breakfast, but that wasn’t possible, so what I could do––?
I stopped the music and sent her a message.
Hi Bethany, can’t see you for a while, I have a medical exam this morning and don’t know how long it will take. Tell me all about the lessons when I see you
Luv
Beck
I sent the message and then went back to listening to my music. I must have drifted off, as I was awoken with a chiming noise coming through my ’phones.
‘Wake up dear, it’s time for you to go.’
Yawning, I removed my ’phones from my ears, slipped on some shoes, went to the dressing-table and brushed my hair; then I was ready.
‘Follow the arrows, dear.’
‘All right, Helena, bye.’
‘’Bye, dear.’
The door slid open silently. Outside, on the floor, the green pulsing arrows showed me the way to where I was going. It wasn’t the in the same direction as the medical centre, but that didn’t surprise me as there were facilities all over the place.
I didn’t pass anyone on my way as all the girls were in classes. I walked for about ten minutes going through doors that I had never been through before until I stopped at a plain door with the words “Pre and Post Care” on it. Shrugging, I went in and found myself in a small reception area.
‘Please sit down for a moment, Rebecca,’ said the disembodied voice.
I sat on a couch and waited.
A few seconds later a doctor entered from stage left. ‘Ah, Rebecca, there you are. Thanks for being so prompt,’ she said as she sat down beside me.
She was very pretty but that was nothing new as all the staff were. She looked Chinese but I wasn’t sure. She was slim with long straight dark hair, a winning smile and wore a white coat with a badge pinned to it that said she was Doctor Cho.
‘How are you feeling, dear?’
‘Not bad, a bit sick sometimes and I do feel sleepy, a lot. Apart from that, I’m fine.’
‘Well the sickness and feeling sleepy are side affects of the medication. I’ll proscribe something to ease the symptoms. How are your water works?’
‘I still can’t really control myself yet, especially at night. When can I start wearing normal panties?’
‘Soon, I hope. Look, I need to have a good look at you and check things down below. I will have to sedate you as this would be rather uncomfortable otherwise–’
A nurse entered as if on cue and approached as the doctor and I stood up.
‘Ah, Nurse Wise, can you look after Rebecca for me?’
‘Certainly, Doctor. Come this way, Rebecca.’
‘I’ll see you later, Rebecca,’ said Doctor Cho with a sunny smile as I was led away into another room.
The room looked like any other hospital room with the bed taking prime position. On the bed was a hospital gown.
‘Do you need any help changing?’
‘No, that’s all right.’
Okay, take everything off apart from your pants and then pop on the bed.’ She smiled and then left me.
As I changed, I wondered about why it was deemed necessary to knock me out for the examination. I didn’t like the sound of it and wondered what might be done to me while I was under. I could do nothing about it though, so just got changed into the gown and then climbed onto the bed and waited.
It was obvious I was being watched, as seconds after lying on the bed the nurse came in with a tray.
‘Right, honey, lie down properly,’
I did as I was asked and then the nurse held my arm with one hand and then put a pressure injector against my arm.
‘This won’t hurt a bit, dear. Just start counting down from ten.’
‘Ten…’
‘Nine…’
‘Eight…’
‘Sev––’
I woke up in my own bed. It was dark and the ceiling clock told me it was 21:45.
Stretching, I turned over and winced. I was rather sore down below and had a headache–
The lights came up slightly. ‘How are you feeling, dear?’
‘A bit sore and I have a headache,’
‘I am sorry. I’ll get some pain killers for you.’
‘Thanks,’ I said, getting up and feeling rather wobbly. I went to the bathroom pulled down my incontipants, put them down the waste chute and then used the facilities. I was quite sore down below and a bit bruised.
After washing my hands, I returned to the bedroom and went to the hatch where two pills and a glass of water were waiting for me.
‘Thanks, Helena,’ I said as I downed the pills in quick succession. ‘Did my medical go well?’
‘Yes, dear, nothing unusual was found but the doctor is a bit concerned about your incontinence and wants to have a chat with you tomorrow. It’s nothing serious, but she feels that she may have to adjust your medication.’
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘everything else all right then?’
‘Yes, dear,’
‘Any news about my parents?’
‘Not at the moment, dear. We will let you know as soon as we hear anything.’
‘I’m feeling a bit sweaty. I think I’ll have a shower and change my nightie.’
‘Good idea. You probably still feel a bit tired.’
‘Yes, after my shower, I’ll have an early night.’
‘Do you want some supper first?’
‘No thanks, I’m not hungry,’
‘Very well, dear,’
If truth be told, the thought of food made me feel a bit sick. Anyway, I went back to the shower room, took my nightie off and went into the shower pod. As soon as the doors closed, I bent down and prised open the metal plate and fished out a tablet. Swallowing it quickly, I put the plate back and started the shower.
After about five minutes, the cycle finished and I left the shower feeling much fresher and better than when I went in. Back into the bedroom, I went to the wardrobe, slipped on some fresh pants and pink cotton nightie and then went to bed.
‘Lights off, please,’
‘Goodnight, Rebecca.’
‘’Night, Helena.’
I switched on my mini uPad and sent a message to Bethany.
‘Am okay, see you tomorrow,’ and then switched it off.
I lay there in the dark with just the glow from the ceiling clock above me. I wasn’t really very tired, just weary and achy but I wanted to think without Helena metaphorically breathing down my neck.
It appeared they hadn’t messed with my brain this time, but how would I know? Mind you, I did remember all that had happened regarding Bethany, Davina and the traitorous Mariette. I remembered my aunt and the fact that I had not spoken to my parents for ages. Every fibre of my being felt that what was going on here was wrong, wrong, wrong and I needed to do something about it, but I didn’t know what.
I decided that I would have to find some way to get Beth alone tomorrow and find out what the hell was going on. With that, I went to sleep or tried to but what with the ache in the back of my head and the soreness that I felt down below, I had a fitful sleep that left me less than refreshed the following morning.
‘Bethany and Rachel are outside,’ said Helena after I had dressed in my uniform and brushed my hair.
‘Tell them I won’t be a moment please, Helena.’
‘All right, dear.’
I didn’t feel like breakfast as I was nauseous again. I nearly said something to Helena, but I didn’t want to have yet more pills thrust down me. It may have been that I had eaten nothing the previous day. I would force some breakfast down me and see how I felt after that. Looking at my eyes, I could see dark circles. I didn’t look all that sunny and bright this morning and I hoped that I would feel better later.
The door swished open and there was Bethany and Rachel, dressed as I was in school uniform. After a little squeal and a round of hugs, we went into breakfast. As we ate our cornflakes and toast, Bethany was all uber girlie again. Talking about makeup, clothes, boys, men, hair and any other subject, feminine.
Gazing at her as she rabbited on on, I couldn’t see the girl who had dragged me into the bushes a few days ago. There was none of that seriousness and intenseness about her now. I marvelled how she could put on such an amazing act!
She did look a bit like my mother–I could see that now. I suppose, in that case she probably looked like me too. It’s difficult to say as I couldn’t see myself, obviously. Maybe that was why she always went over the top hair- and makeup-wise; to hide the fact that we looked alike? I didn’t know. What I did know was, that I was dying to see her by herself.
Breakfast finished and we went to the ladies before going to our first lesson of the day–good old deportment. I didn’t like deportment much as I was always chastised for not being ladylike enough. In fact the teacher thought that I might be a better dock worker than the wife of some desirable man!
Anyway, Bethany and I went to the loo and as we walked in, she held my hand and I could feel a pill being put in it. This was good, as I had forgotten to bring the pills from the hidey-hole in the shower pod. I seemed to be getting very ditzy and blond at the moment for some reason.
I went into a cubicle and downed the pill. Bethany was next door and a piece of paper came under the partition from her. It said:
Both Bethany and I brushed our hair and talked about inconsequential things before leaving the Ladies and continuing to our next lesson.
The day dragged a bit to say the least. I was feeling tired, achy and more than a little bit sore so it was difficult for me to appear natural and happy with my lot. The morning turned into the afternoon and eventually the evening.
After tea, I returned to my room, changed and then I was ready to go and meet Bethany.
I checked myself in the mirror before I went. I had on a nice cream silk top and longish black skirt. I also wore tights as the evening might be a bit cool. I had applied light makeup and put my hair in a pony tail. Picking up a cardi I said goodbye to the–hopefully unsuspecting–Helena and then made my way through the various corridors and exits to finally reach the atrium and then the extensive gardens.
Over by the fountains I saw several people including Bethany who was with Rachel. Walking up I just said ‘Hi,’ and gave both of them a hug.
After a few minutes of inane blether Rachel spoke up. ‘Look, I have to go and see Leanne, she wants me to go and see that play that the dramatic group is putting on. It’ll be a hoot; want to come?’
‘No, I’m seeing it next week, what about you, Becky?’
‘No, I still feel a bit iffy after the medical I had yesterday, so I don’t think that I can take all the excitement.’
‘All right, girls, see you tomorrow at breakfast.’
She ran off leaving us to ourselves. There were quite a few people about and that was good as we didn’t stand out and I suppose that there was safety in numbers.
Bethany took my arm and steered me around to the other side of the lake, nearer where the fountains were positioned. The noise of the water was quite loud here and I supposed rightly that I had been taken to this side of the lake because there was less likelihood of us being overheard.
‘How was the exam?’ asked Bethany.
‘They put me out, so I don’t really know. I woke up sore with a headache.’
‘At the back of your head, by your neck?’
‘Yes, how do you know.’
‘I’ll tell you later. Look happy and laugh a bit. Remember, we are two ditzy girls having a fantastic time.’
I laughed at that and Bethany just smiled and did a little skip and jump for some reason.
‘That’s it. Make them think that we are just having lots of fun.’
‘Are we being watched that closely?’
‘Yes, there aren’t many places where we can talk like this.’
‘What’s it all about?’
‘You have guessed a lot of it. This is a breeding farm. They want boys to be turned into girls and the girls to produce baby girls–pure and simple. Only it’s not really that simple. They have several pilot schemes going to find out which girl can produce a female baby. They are ruthless and don’t mind too much if their experiment doesn’t work. It’s been going on for years and countless girls have died or been disfigured mentally, physically or both.’ She looked at her finger watch and frowned. ‘we haven’t much time. Look, let’s go and walk over by the flower beds in the corner.’
‘Won’t we be seen?’
‘Yes, but let’s make it look like we’re playing. I’ll pinch you and you chase after me. Laugh a bit so that it looks natural.’
Puzzled though I was–and not too sure about Beth’s sanity–I did as she asked and after she pinched me playfully on my arm, I ran after her shouting and screaming as if I was really enjoying myself. Other girls looked on, pointed and laughed out our antics. I just felt like a bit of an idiot and wasn’t helped by the fact that I was still rather sore and more than a bit yuckie, despite the pain killers I had been given.
We arrived breathlessly over by the flower beds and sank in a heap, laughing and out of breath. I needed to exercise more because I was out of condition and I used to be a good runner when I was still a boy.
About fifteen metres away was one of the exits and I wondered what was on the other side. It was hopeless trying to find out as we didn’t have enough petals to be allowed through.
I had lots of questions to ask Bethany, but she kept shushing me and looking at her watch.
She came close and pretended to tickle me and whispered in my ear.
‘In a few moments, things will happen. Don’t be frightened, just hold my hand and follow what I do.’
She lay down on her back and I looked at her. I seriously wondered if she was all there and perhaps I had made a terrible mistake, when suddenly, the lights went out and there was a large explosion over the other side of the park.
‘Come on,’ shouted Bethany getting up suddenly and dragging me up as well. She had a vice like grip on my wrist as I noticed that the door a few metres away had suddenly slid open.
Before I knew it, we were through the door and running as fast as possible through a forest and out of the other side. There were noises behind us, explosions, shouts, screams and other unpleasant things. I was so scared I didn’t know what was happening and I wasn’t sure if I was being abducted and whether I was with a friend or enemy.
We skidded to a stop at a road that I didn’t recognise but was probably at the back of the school.
‘What’s going on Bethany?’ I shouted.
She looked at me, her hair a mess and a wild look in her eyes.
‘Where are they,’ she screamed looking up and down the road.
‘Please, Beth––tell me, what’s happening?’
Just then I heard a hover motor in the distance. The hum grew louder and then the car came around the corner, stopped dead in front of us and the side door slid open. Before I knew it, I was bundled inside, the door slid shut and I was knocked back as the car accelerated at a great pace. Only Bethany and I were in the back. The front seat had a partition and it was shut. I was scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life before and utterly convinced that I had been kidnapped–
Bethany had a wild look about her. She looked like she was going mad. Her eyes were wide and she was grinning and then she started laughing. I shrunk back in my seat, trying to get as far away as possible from this insane girl. Then I smelt something strange and I felt myself falling over––
When I awoke, I was in a strange room. It wasn’t my bedroom at the school or the one that I rarely saw at home. It was different room. It was a girl’s bedroom, done out in pink, but not a shocking pink — pale and muted. The bed that I was laying in was soft and comfortable. The room looked old. The ceilings were high and the huge ceiling to floor windows had heavy drapes covering them.
I was wearing a cream satin nightshirt with long sleeves and it felt very nice and comfortable to just lie there, wallowing in comfort, still sleepy and relaxed–
Then I remembered and sat bolt upright in bed.
‘Hello, awake at last are you?’
My head snapped over to the left and that hurt as I felt a stab of pain at the base of my neck.
‘Ouch,’ I said as my hand flew to the point of pain. There was a dressing on the back of my neck. Looking up, there was a woman sat in a armchair with a book, a real life paper book on her lap.
The woman stood up and came to me. I started suddenly, thinking I was seeing my mother, but it wasn’t her.
‘Hello, Rebecca, I’m your Auntie Connie; I think we have a lot to talk about, don’t you?’
‘I—I don’t underst––’
‘–You will, love,’ she said sitting beside me and holding my hand. ‘you’re okay here at the moment, in a safe house. We will have to move you soon though.’
‘What’s going on. I don’t understand!’
She looked at me with an expression that reminded my so much of Mummy, kind, compassionate and full of love.
‘Oh, I’ve missed you growing up, but it was necessary. Look, I won’t sweet talk you because we just haven’t got time. You need to know as much as we can tell you. I was driving the car that picked you up and for your safety, I used knock out gas so you didn’t know where you were going. What you don’t know, you can’t tell. You were brought here; prior to that, one of the doctors removed the GPS homing device that had been planted in your neck. As soon as possible, we did some tests on you. They’re very sophisticated and state of the art. You may be surprised to learn that you’re pregnant and it looks about 60 to 40 percent likely that you will give birth to a baby daughter.’
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
‘P—p—pregnant––?’
‘Yes, you heard right, no need to wash out your ears. You are one hundred percent certifiably pregnant.’
Previously…
When I awoke, I was in a strange room. It wasn’t my bedroom at the school or the one that I rarely saw at home. It was a different room. It was a girl’s bedroom; done out in pink, but not a shocking pink–but pale and muted. The bed that I was laying in was soft and comfortable. The room looked old. The ceilings were high and the huge ceiling to floor windows had heavy drapes covering them.
I was wearing a cream satin nightshirt with long sleeves and it felt very nice and comfortable to just lie there, wallowing in comfort, still sleepy and relaxed–
Then I remembered and sat bolt upright in bed.
‘Hello, awake at last are you?’
My head snapped over to the left and that hurt as I felt a stab of pain at the base of my neck.
‘Ouch,’ I said as my hand flew to the point of pain. There was a dressing on the back of my neck. Looking up, there was a woman sat in an armchair with a book, a real life paper book on her lap.
The woman stood up and came to me. I started suddenly, thinking I was seeing my mother, but it wasn’t her.
‘Hello, Rebecca, I’m your Auntie Connie; I think we have a lot to talk about, don’t you?’
‘I—I don’t underst––’
‘–You will, love,’ she said sitting beside me and holding my hand. ‘You’re okay here at the moment, in a safe house. We will have to move you soon though.’
‘What’s going on? I don’t understand!’
She looked at me with an expression that reminded me so much of Mummy; kind, compassionate and full of love.
‘Oh, I’ve missed you growing up, but it was necessary. Look, I won’t sweet talk you because we just haven’t got time. You need to know as much as we can tell you. I was driving the car that picked you up and for your safety, I used knock out gas so you didn’t know where you were going. What you don’t know, you can’t tell. You were brought here, but prior to that one of the doctors removed the GPS homing device that had been planted in your neck. As soon as possible, we did some tests on you. They’re very sophisticated and state of the art. You may be surprised to learn that you’re pregnant and it looks about 60 to 40 percent likely that you will give birth to a baby daughter.’
And now the story continues…
I looked at her and almost fainted.
‘P—p—pregnant––?’
‘Yes, you heard right, no need to wash out your ears. You are one hundred percent certifiably pregnant.’
‘I can’t be.’
‘Why not?’
‘B—b—b—because I’m too young.’
‘No you’re not.’
‘I haven’t had erm–sex.’ I whispered, knowing that I was going as red a as a beetroot.
‘So, haven’t you heard of artificial insemination?’
‘Why?’
‘Full of questions; aren’t you? Look, honey, I know it’s a shock and the last thing I want to do is to cause you pain, but the fact of the matter is that you have been used–brain-washed, if you like–like most of the kids in your school. They tried to make you feel special. They wanted you to believe in the ideology and be part of the system. They wanted good little baby factories so that they could sell you to the highest bidder. It was about money, power and egotism. Your parents knew that you were in danger and wanted to take you with them, but they couldn’t. They knew what the world was like out there with all the dangers that could and would befall you if you went to the hotbeds of unrest that a lot of the world was and still is experiencing. At least at school you were relatively safe–or so they thought.’
‘Safe?’ I exclaimed incredulously.
‘I know; but they were going by the information that they had been given. Fact one, girls were not being born. Fact two, England and the other British Alliance countries were at the forefront of research. Fact three, they thought that you might be chosen but even if you were and were changed into a girl, that would be preferable to the huge risks and chances of being killed in one or other of the hell holes that your parents were being sent to.
‘Why were they sent to India?’
My aunt looked at me for a moment and then answered my question. ‘Both your parents were good diplomats, with years of experience behind them. But they started questioning the system and motives behind what the government were doing. That marked them down as potential troublemakers. They realised early on, through friendly contacts in government that they were no longer considered “safe” so they had to try to protect you as much as possible. They sent you away to your school in the hope that you would be afforded some level of protection as the head master was a friend and confidant.’
‘The Head never liked me though.’
‘He couldn’t be seen to have favourites. Anyway, he did protect you as much as he could, but could not stop the selection process for The Chosen. Look, I can see you’re tired, and we must get you moved to a safe house very soon. You have to get some rest and then, when we have moved, I will answer more questions.’
‘C—can I ask just one more?’
‘Of course, dear,’
‘Where are m—my parents?’
‘We can talk about this later––’
‘–Please, I need to know!’
She looked at me sadly.
‘They were last heard of in the embassy in India, prior to some explosions and fighting. Nothing has been heard since, as far as I am aware, but I’m not always in the loop, so to speak.’
‘S—so they could be dead and Helena and the school have been lying to me all this time?’
‘Yes, poppet. I dearly hope that they are alive, but I just don’t know.’
As I lay awake in the dark, all my thoughts were about my parents and the baby in my tummy. I loved Mummy and Dada more than anyone in the world. The thought of them gone and possibly killed, made me think that my whole world was falling apart. Then there was this new life growing inside me. I had no idea who the father might be. We had been indoctrinated, I suppose into the idea that we would get married, have wonderful husbands and create babies in the “natural” way, not via some sort of impersonal turkey-baster, without love or concern for my feelings. I just didn’t know what to think about anything anymore.
I must have fallen asleep, because I was jolted into wakefulness by a well remembered voice.
‘Rebecca, wake up, we have to go,’ said Bethany.
Still half asleep, I got up, had a quick wash and loo break and got dressed in a tracksuit that was lying on the bed. According to my finger watch it was half past three in the morning when I found myself back in the hover going to a place about which I knew nothing. Bethany knew as much or as little as me. The thinking must be that what we did not know, we could not divulge.
The windows were blacked out as we travelled so I had no idea where we were going. We changed hovers several times as well so we could not be tracked. Eventually, I fell asleep and time had no more meaning. When I wakened, the windows had been unshielded and I could see dawn come up in the distance behind us, so I knew that we were heading roughly westwards. The hover was, I suppose, travelling about ten feet above the ground on autopilot, as my Aunt was just sitting back in her seat, her feet on the control panel in front of her, a steaming styrene cup of something in her hand.
Bethany was still asleep, so I moved forward to the seat beside my aunt and sat down.
‘Had a good sleep?’ she asked.
‘I suppose so. Are we nearly there yet?’
‘Where?’
‘Wherever we’re going.’ I replied looking out of the window and seeing the coast ahead.
My aunt glanced at the console.
‘ETA is about twenty minutes.’
‘Can’t we be tracked?’
‘The hover is in stealth mode and travelling below monitoring height, just in case.’
‘Oh; can you tell me anything about where we’re going?’
‘No, sweetheart, it’s better that you don’t know. All I can say is that it’s one of the safest locations we have.’
The smell of her drink–coffee–was making me feel a bit sick or it could have been the dreaded morning sickness.
‘Feeling rough? Don’t worry; there are some doctors where we are going. You’ll be looked after. What do think about your pregnancy?’
‘I–I don’t know. I suppose; sick, apprehensive, surprised, but excited too. I only wish––’
‘–What?’
‘Well, I’m only twelve and I wanted to be a kid for a while longer. Being a mother is a grown-up thing. If you had told me a few months ago that I would be a girl, pregnant and possibly giving birth to a baby girl, I would have laughed, but this isn’t much of a laugh is it?’
‘No, love. There are things we have to discuss, but I want to ensure you’re in a safe place before we broach the subject.’
‘I’ve got loads of questions.’
‘I bet you have. Look. I’ve got to start making out that I know how to fly this thing, so go and sit next to Beth and wake her up. You both need to be strapped in properly.’
‘Okay, auntie.’ I said, getting up and looking out. We were over the sea now. I wondered once again, where we were and where–more importantly, we would end up.
She gave me a brief smile and then turned to her controls as I made my way back to the passenger seat next to the still sleeping Bethany.
She awoke as I sat down. ‘Nearly there?’ she asked, yawning and rubbing her eyes.
‘I think so, you need to have your belt on.’
‘Okay.’
‘D’you know where we are going?’
‘Haven’t a clue. I’m not important enough to be told stuff like that.’
‘I thought you said that you weren’t told so you couldn’t tell anyone if you were caught.’
‘That’s true.’
‘I don’t understand how you managed to be a mole or whatever it’s called. You were just about the most feminine girl in the school. You wanted to be changed into a girl so badly; I was sure that you were a hundred percent in favour of being assimilated.’
‘Oh, I wanted to be a girl all right, but assimilation didn’t mean that, it meant being one of them; part of the system, a clone, almost a robot–a baby growing machine–with no will of your own and no way to make decisions for yourself.’
‘I see, I think. But how come I never knew about you?’
‘Well I didn’t know about you either, at first. Mummy and Daddy thought it best that we didn’t know about each other for safety’s sake. Evidently, relatives were normally kept apart from each other. Another security thing, I suppose, though I’m not sure how those nut cases really thought. I suppose divide and conquer–I don’t know. Anyway, when we were at the boys school, my parents told me about things and the fact that–look, do you remember in our first year, we all had that big medical when we were put out and then loads of tests were done?’
‘Yes, we were told that it was just a comprehensive health check.’
‘Yea, but it turns out that some of the tests included taking samples of DNA and other stuff and with those results, the authorities could tell who the prime candidates would be for assimilation, baby making and in particular, most likely to be girl baby making material. Our DNA is similar so we were going to be chosen anyway. Uncle and Auntie–your mum and dad–got wind of this through some contacts. On my last hols, my parents told me as much as they could, gave me a supply of pills to stop the brain washing and told me to look out for you.’
‘Why didn’t I get that help?’
‘Your parents were off in India and you were being watched closely. Evidently, you were one of the top five possibilities for successful insemination and you were therefore a marked boy–or girl as you now are. Even I was in the top ten, so I had to be careful, hence the over the top girliness and wild hairstyle and makeup. First, so I didn’t look like you and secondly so it would appear that I was the school pet.’
‘Well it worked, I never knew anyone more into femininity than you.’
She preened.
‘Still, it would have been good to know about things,’ I said.
‘Yes, but–oh never mind, look we’re landing!’
The hover came in over a cliff, barely missing some trees, then reduced height and tree hopped for about a mile I suppose. After cresting the brow of a hill, I saw we were now skimming the ground in what looked like parkland. Up ahead was a large house–well more a mansion really. The hover swiftly approached the house and went around the back and stopped in front of some doors.
‘All out kids, we’ve arrived!’
‘Coming in, Mum?’
‘Later. I need to put this baby to bed first.’
We got out as the hover settled on the gravel of the drive. A man and woman, about the same age as my parents were standing at the door smiling, as we approached.
‘Hello, Rebecca, Bethany, welcome,’ said the lady pleasantly.
‘You’ve had a tough time of it,’ said the man, ‘but you’re safe here. Come in and let’s get you settled.
I was aware of the sound of the hover motor rising as we entered the house. Glancing back, I saw it was being moved to some large outbuildings over to the side. I had wanted to speak with my Aunt, but she was obviously busy. Bethany took my arm and smiled at me.
‘This is sooo exciting!’ She said, putting her arm through mine and sounding more like the ultra fem, girly girl from school.
I had to smile. I kind of liked Bethany’s serious side but she was a lot of fun when she was all bubbly and feminine.
We found ourselves in corridor which led into a hall with several doors leading off. There were masses of people around, including kids our age–boys and girls–and younger ones also, but they were all boys, of course.
We were stared at by several of the kids and were given nods and smiles. Even a few of the adults approached and said, ‘hello’. One actually winked at me, so I wondered what that was about.
I wondered once again, where we were and what everyone was doing here.
We followed the man and woman to a door. It was an old fashioned type with real door handle which the man turned and then opened the door. We walked into a rather posh looking office that was also a library. Banks of vidi screens lined one wall while the other walls were covered in old fashioned, real paper type books. The old and modern sort of clashed a bit, but it wasn’t the room that took my attention more than a nanosecond.
There was a man sitting in a chair facing the window he was on a phone. There was something about him–
Then I sensed someone approaching me from behind. I jumped slightly as I was hugged from behind and suddenly smelled a familiar perfume––
The man turned round in his seat––
Sitting at the desk, with a wide smile on his handsome face was–my Dada!
‘Hello, honey–oh, how we’ve missed you,’ Mummy whispered in my ear as everything went blank––
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
‘She’s awake,’ I heard faintly and then it all rushed back. I was away from danger and my parents were here!
My eyes snapped open and there she was–Mummy...
Previously…
We followed the man and woman to a door. It was an old fashioned type with real door handle which the man turned and then opened the door. We walked into a rather posh looking office that was also a library. Banks of vidi screens lined one wall while the other walls were covered in old fashioned, real paper type books. The old and modern sort of clashed a bit, but it wasn’t the room that took my attention more than a nanosecond.
There was a man sitting in a chair facing the window he was on a phone. There was something about him–
Then I sensed someone approaching me from behind. I jumped slightly as I was hugged from behind and suddenly smelled a familiar perfume––
The man turned round in his seat––
Sitting at the desk, with a wide smile on his handsome face was–my Dada!
‘Hello, honey–oh, how we’ve missed you,’ Mummy whispered in my ear as everything went blank––
And now the story continues…
As I awoke, I realised without opening my eyes that I was on some sort of sofa. I felt strange, disorientated and surrounded by lots of people.
‘She’s awake,’ I heard faintly and then it all rushed back. I was away from danger and my parents were here!
My eyes snapped open and there she was–Mummy.
‘Well, you gave us a fright darling. How do you feel?’
‘Weird–I don’t understand, I thought you were–somewhere else. Auntie said that she didn’t know where you were.’
‘She didn’t know. We’ve only been here about five hours. We were smuggled in on a hover from the Indo-China border, late last night.’
I looked around, suddenly we were alone.
‘Where’s Dada, Mummy?’
She smiled.
‘You haven’t called your father that in years or me, Mummy either. It’s nice–so are you. I didn’t realise how beautiful you have become. Those vids never did you justice.’
‘I don’t look–like I did.’
‘No, but you are still the same cuddly, sweet, affectionate child inside–they couldn’t change that.’
‘Where’s Dada?’
‘He had things to do, and will see you later. He wants to have a long chat and a cuddle. Things are a bit hot at the moment and somewhat fluid. There are things going on that you don’t know about. I’m fully aware that you’ve been force fed misleading information by the school and that you will need to be told about the true state of affairs as soon as possible.’
‘Am I safe here?’
‘As safe as anywhere. We are just outside the jurisdiction of Alysia Wellgood, her corrupt government and in a place that is a rarity; an independent state, although until recently, tied somewhat to the United Kingdom, physically and historically…
‘We’re on the Isle Of Man?’
‘You guessed? Clever girl; but how did you know?’
‘Easy-peasy. There are three legs running round in a circle on the wall behind you.’
She turned round and laughed when she saw the Isle of Man’s three legged Triskele symbol on the wall.
‘So much for security! Yes, that’s where we are. Look, how do you feel? Are you up for a walk?’
I felt the back of my head under my shoulder-length hair and winced. Mummy noticed my expression.
‘Still hurts? You had to have that tracker removed, they had no choice. Maybe we should leave things for a bit.’
‘No, it’s all right; I could do with stretching my legs.’
She helped me up and I felt a bit wobbly for a moment but very quickly was okay.
We walked in silence for a few minutes. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but held myself in check because I knew Mummy had something on her mind and I would wait until she had spoken before I asked my questions.
‘So, sweetie, how do you like being a girl?’
‘I felt very peculiar at first and then I sort of got used to it. I don’t know if I could possibly go back to being a boy now. I did wonder if it was part of my indoctrination or assimilation that helped make me accept girlhood so readily. Even now, I don’t know if the feelings I have now are true or just part of some elaborate brainwashing that makes me feel like I do.’
‘We don’t know, honey. We’ve got doctors here who will find out what’s been done to you and correct things if need be. Look, let’s go and sit on that bench by the lake and I’ll try to tell you what’s going on.’
We strolled to the wooden bench and sat down. I was glad to sit because I was still feeling rather tired from all that had happened to me. As I sat holding my mother’s hand, in the beautiful surroundings of the gardens with the house behind, I wondered if I was dreaming all this and whether I might soon wake up in my room at the school with Helena saying ‘Hello, dear, I am glad that you are back with us.’
I shivered slightly at that thought.
‘Are you cold, honey?’
‘No, just a bad thought. Tell me, Mummy, what has been going on?’
‘You have a right to know what had been happening. Where do I start?’
She gazed at me, her expression serious and yet full of the compassion and love that she felt for me.
‘I’ll tell you how we escaped from Indo-China at some other time. It’s much more important for you to know what’s happening on the larger stage. I’ll go back a bit first: not everything that you’ll have heard over the past few days, months and years was incorrect. The world does have a crisis in that female babies are not being born. This has caused great hardship in many countries including our own. Indo-China, The Middle East and many African countries have suffered with revolution, regime change, bloodshed and economic turmoil. The boundaries of Europe have been re written several times and France is now the dominant country within their somewhat reduced union with the remainder of what used to be called Europe.
‘Russia re-invaded the countries which they once ruled with an iron fist under Stalin including Poland, Belarus, Ukraine and many of the Baltic states such as Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. South America as a whole is a closed continent and no information of any consequence is coming out of there. There was nearly a war, though, when Mexico was overrun by the South-Am army.’
I sat closer to Mummy and she gave me a hug while she continued to speak. All this talk of turmoil around the world made me shiver slightly.
‘The world has totally changed from when I was a child, in just a few short turbulent years. The United Kingdom was not immune to these problems and a succession of governments failed to stop an economic crisis that swept the world. Online voting was introduced 15 years ago and we now know that these votes were rigged. The present party in power–The Progressive Unionists–gained power by hacking the ’puter programs and massaging the figures. How they were not found out is a matter of speculation, but it is more than likely that key personnel were either bought or threatened.
‘What are you telling me Mummy? That our leaders are criminals?’
‘Yes they are. But they are, or have been untouchable. It’s all about money and the pursuit of power. Remember, history is written by the winners of wars and bloodless coupes like that which has occurred in our country. Kids like you and thousands of others have been drip fed a version of history and current state of affairs that bears little relation to truth.
‘So you, Dada and the others are against all this?’
‘Of course. It’s strange, we consider ourselves as freedom fighters and the state think that we are terrorists. Here in this house, there are many people who are experts in their fields, who could not live under the totalitarian regime that the UK now has. They have brought their children and we have also managed to free some transformed girls from a school in Reading. That is why you have seen such a wide range of ages here. We hope in time, to increase the numbers and are working on various plans to achieve this.’
‘Why doesn’t the government attack this place?’
‘Good question. The first reason is that the Manx government–on advice from us–contacted the U.S of A & C and then, after some lengthy and protracted negotiations managed to obtain an agreement and treaty that the Isle of Man is a protectorate of that country. The Tynwald–that’s the Manx parliament–agreed overwhelmingly that they did not wish to be part of the UK any longer. The United Kingdom has protested the legality of this, of course, making out a case that the island is already part of the UK, but because of the orbit defences, controlled by U.S of A & C above us, they have little power to do anything about it. Do you understand, sweetheart? You look puzzled.’
‘Heck, Mummy, I’m only 12. All I should be concerned about is what clothes to wear and whether my breasts will stop growing before they get out of control. Now you say that I have been living a lie and all this was part of some desperate power thing. I’m beginning to think that I’m a pawn in some big power game.’
‘It’s no game, love. Many people have died including your friend Davina and others who have ‘failed’ in the experiments that the authorities have carried out over the last several years. We have to stop it and this place and the people within it are willing to do whatever is necessary to rid the UK of Alysia Wellgood’s government and return our country to sanity. Yes, it’s essential that we find an answer to the gender problem, but not at the cost that they were willing to take.’
I gazed across the lake and watched as a swan tried to land on the water gracefully but made a rather splashy hash of it.
‘So what’s my part in this?’ I asked quietly.
She pulled on my arm so I was facing her. I could see the compassion on her face as she struggled to put into words what she had to tell me.
‘Oh, Becky, you’re so pretty; you make a gorgeous girl. I so wanted you to grow up without all this turmoil and hostility hanging over you. Your father and I struggled with our consciences. India was–and still is–a hotbed of conflict. You have no idea of the sleepless nights we had trying to decide whether you should stay in the UK or come with us. In the end we decided that it would be safer to stay at school and be with your friends.
‘All right, we knew there would be a strong chance that you would be chosen, but we hoped that we would be back from India by then. Suddenly, everything went wrong and we couldn’t be with you. Your Aunt Connie told us that Bethany would be at the school and she had been told in a limited way that you were being targeted. Bethany’s a special girl. She always knew that she was a girl in the wrong body. She was given certain drugs to combat the brainwashing. She was told to look out for you. Now your Aunt Connie has always appeared to the authorities that she was a true blue Wellgood supporter. She went out of the way to show that she believed all the crap that she and her party were spouting. Hence, the combination of Connie’s almost religious fervour and fanatical support of the government and Bethany’s over the top girliness, made sure that they were below the radar of any possible suspicion.
‘You still haven’t answered my question, Mummy. What is my part in this?’ I had a knot in my tummy that was getting tighter and tighter and I was becoming more and more upset. So much of this was new to me and I was feeling frustrated, upset and out of my depth.
‘Your part, honey? You didn’t have a part. There was no way that I or your father would ever want you used like this. We just reacted to the situation. We had to protect you and get you out of there as soon as possible. Others were rescued at the same time as you and are coming here by various routes. As far as you are concerned personally; you were impregnated far sooner than expected. The government was under increasing pressure to get results. The country is almost bankrupt and the farming–a strong term, but true–of girls to produce baby girls was strong and increasingly desperate measures––Darling what’s wrong?’
I had begun to cry. I could feel myself drowning. At the back of my mind, the thing that I dreaded was coming out. I wanted to know, I had to know. I looked at Mummy. She didn’t realise what I was going through; how could she? I was promptly sick all over my skirt. I felt faint and didn’t–no couldn’t–articulate what I wanted to say. A few moments later, I was picked up by some strong arms and carried somewhere. I was so upset, that I didn’t know or care where I was taken; but what seemed moments later, I felt myself being gently put down on something soft. I didn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t open my eyes. If I did that, I would have to face my demons and the awful truth.
‘Oh God!’ I cried, shutting my eyes as tears started streaming down my face…someone was wiping my brow with a damp cloth. I opened my eyes and there was Mummy. She looked concerned and had obviously been crying herself.
‘I am so sorry, Becky. I didn’t realise. I was stupid telling you all those things without thinking of the consequences. You’ve been through hell; I should have waited––’
‘–Mummy, i—it wasn’t that. I needed to know. It–it was–just that I was so scared.’
‘I know love, we’re all scared–’
‘You don’t understand!’ I sat up, angrily brushing the hair out of my eyes, ‘I know that things were bad. I know that I have been lied to. I know that my friend had been murdered. What I don’t know is–have I been raped to get this baby inside me?’
I slumped back on the bed, exhausted by the effort of trying to get through to the one woman that I loved more than any other in the world.
I felt her hand on my cheek and opened my eyes. She was leaning over me, looking as beautiful as I had ever seen her. Everyone had said that she was a beauty and I had received the occasional backhanded compliment–even as a boy–that I looked very like her in many ways…
‘Rebecca,’ she said softly, ‘I promise you that you have not been raped. Our doctors examined you when you were under anaesthetic to have the implant removed and there was no sign of any sexual activity except that there were indications that you had been artificially inseminated. We also know from contacts that the methods used to impregnate girls were done using strict guidelines which explicitly made sure that sexual intercourse was not used under any circumstances. It was only due to this that the medical teams agreed to be part of the programme.’
I gazed at her and felt a weight lifted from my shoulders. I knew I was pregnant and eventually would–if all went well–have a baby. I could deal with that as I would have to, but if the baby was as a result of forced sex or rape, I would have had major problems with the child, even though he or more probably she, was not at fault.
‘Feeling better?’
I nodded weakly.
‘Look you have had a hard time of it and the doctor has given you something to calm you down. Get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.’
‘All right.’ I said feeling very tired and drained of emotion.
‘Goodnight, dear.’
‘Mummy?’
‘Yes, honey?’
‘Please never call me “dear”. Helena used to do that and I want to forget.’
‘Who is Helena?’
‘The ’puter in our rooms at school.’
‘All right, honey, I’ll remember and tell your father not to too!’
‘When can I see Dada?’ I yawned.
‘Before breakfast tomorrow. He can’t wait to see you but has pressing matters to attend to and so have I come to that. Now be a good girl, turn over, go to sleep and hopefully you’ll feel a lot better in the morning.’
‘’Night, Mummy.’ I said closing my eyes.
‘Goodnight, Becky darling, sleep tight.’
I turned over carefully and was surprised to find Bethany, fast asleep with her mouth open; she was snoring gently and I must admit I felt like a giggling. For some reason, I wasn’t shocked to see her there and just for the fun of it, I tickled her nose with my finger. A few seconds later her nose wrinkled and then she sneezed and opened one eye.
‘Whaa’–what the–Rebecca, stop it!’
I giggled and sat up. There was something missing and I wasn’t sure what it was. Then I realised, I wasn’t feeling nauseous.
‘Wow,’ I squealed, ‘I don’t want to be sick; how cool is that?’
‘Thanks for sharing your thoughts,’ said Bethany yawning, stretching and sitting up too.
‘Erm, Beth?’
‘Mmm?’
‘Not that I mind or anything, but why are you in my bed?’
She looked at me quizzically.
‘You don’t remember?’
‘No.’
‘Well, my room’s next door and I heard this scream last night. It gave me goose pimples, but being all brave and everything; I took my life in my hands and got up. It was soon obvious that the noise was coming from behind your door and as I knew that you were in the room, I came in and saw you tossing and turning, moaning about something or other–it didn’t make any sense–so I thought, rather than get the old’s to sort you out, I’d hop into bed with you and see if I could stop you making all that appalling racket. It worked ’cos you stopped yelling, put your thumb in your mouth and went to sleep again.’
‘I don’t suck my thumb!’
She grabbed my hand and looked closely at my thumb.
‘No? Well, here’s the evidence.’
Looking at my thumb, it did look a bit prune like–
‘Well anyway,’ I said changing the subject, ‘It’s great that I haven’t got morning sickness…or is that wrong, should I have it? Maybe there’s something wrong–?’
I had become all upset again. I just hated the way my moods swung one way and then the other.
‘Becky, now stop that. I have been reading the books–I thought that they may do the impregnate thing with me, and wanted to know all I could but I obviously wasn’t cooked enough or whatever they call it. Anyway, the books say that you don’t always have morning sickness and sometimes it just goes away by itself. Anyway, I wouldn’t mind betting that the doc’s gave you something to stop the yuckie stuff. Do you know that this place is stiff with doctors? You can’t go two clicks without bumping into one–
Just then the door opened and in walked–
‘–Dada!’
He came to me, smiling broadly and gave me a big hug.
‘Don’t I get one too, Unc?’
Dada looked affectionately at Bethany and, smiling, gave her one too.
‘Right, girls, you have twenty minutes to get–’
‘Unc–’
‘Yes, Bethany, and I do wish you’d call me something other than Unc–’
‘Yeah, right, Unc. Look we girls need at least an hour to make ourselves look beautiful.’
‘An hour! You are only going to have breakfast before the meeting.’
I pricked up my ears. ‘Meeting, Dada?’
‘Yes, we have one every morning evidently. It helps people keep up to speed with any events.’
‘Never mind that,’ said Bethany getting up, trying to sound serious but looking rather silly staring up at my Dada in her shocking pink nightie, ‘we need time to meet our public.’
He smiled down at her and patted her head. I thought that she would blow her top, but she didn’t have time.
‘That’s all right, Bethany, you have an hour and twenty minutes, I must have misread my finger watch.’ He smiled, then winked at me and left.
‘I hate you Uncle,’ Bethany told his retreating back and stamping her foot petulantly. I could hear him laugh as he closed the door.
I just giggled. My Dada was funny sometimes!
We had breakfast in a big hall. There were lots of tables and everyone seemed to muck in. Adults and kids just found a space and sat down. Someone came up to me while I was eating my cereal. I glanced up and saw a lady in a white coat. She had a name badge that said “Doctor Eccles” on her lapel.
‘Rebecca? Hi, we haven’t met but I’m your designated doctor. Can you come and see me for a quick chat after the meeting?’
‘Erm yes, okay?’
‘Here are the details, ask anyone where I am and I‘ll see you later.’
‘See you then,’ she said, smiling. She went to another table and sat down.
We found ourselves in some sort of theatre and found seats about half way back from the stage. On the stage there were several seats and a lectern in the front. The seats on the stage were mostly occupied and I noted that Mummy and Dada were there. I gave them a little wave and they waved back.
The seats in the theatre soon filled up and the lights dimmed. An oldish lady came on to the stage whom I recognised vaguely–then I recalled where I had seen her before, she was Mariah Hepstone, the leader of the Democratic Alliance Party before she disappeared mysteriously a few years back.
She looked around at her audience and smiled.
‘Good morning everyone, especially to those who have just arrived. I will keep this brief as I know that you are all busy. Our agents on the ground have reported that there is a certain amount of panic and disquiet at some of the schools that are being used for The Chosen. This is being monitored and as soon as we know what is behind this, I will report back to you. The UK has once again protested to the US of A & C regarding the situation here on the Isle of Man. They are still arguing that this island is part of the UK. I think the main reason for this is that they are aware that we are here and they want to eliminate us. I have had assurances that far from acquiescing to their demands, our allies are warning the UK that any infringement will result in swift and immediate retaliatory action.
‘I am pleased to be able to announce that one of our agents has returned safely to us from one of the target schools and has kindly agreed to give us some useful inside information concerning the current state of affairs. Please welcome, Sophia Thompson.’
A girl came out of the shadow and advanced to the podium. She was smiling widely and everyone was clapping loudly except me and Bethany. She went to Mariah Hepstone and shook her hand. Bethany held my arm in a vice-like grip and I turned to her, appalled to catch sight of the person standing in the spotlight and beaming at everyone–Mariette––!
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Previously…
‘I am pleased to be able to announce that one of our agents has returned safely to us from one of the target schools and has kindly agreed to give us some useful inside information concerning the current state of affairs. Please welcome, Sophia Thompson.’
A girl came out of the shadow and advanced to the podium. She was smiling widely and everyone was clapping loudly except me and Bethany. She went to Mariah Hepstone and shook her hand. Bethany held my arm in a vice-like grip and I turned to her, appalled to catch sight of the person standing in the spotlight and beaming at everyone–Mariette––!
And now the story continues…
‘It CAN’T be!’ Bethany whispered.
‘It flaming well is!’ I hissed.
The applause stopped and Mariette blinked in the strong lights. ‘Thank you. I don’t know what to say, except that I am glad to be back among friends. I know a couple of you here have a lot of questions and I’ll speak to you both a little later. I’ll tell you all how I managed to get out of the school some other time. What you all want to hear is how things are out there.
‘The school was one of a number picked because of their location–they had to be well away from more populated areas and have what they considered to be the right type of pupil. The state wanted to use only the best children, bright, healthy, strong and potential leaders. Yes they were going to be baby factories, but it was important to the state that the selected girls would pass on the correct genes to future generations. The ideal scenario was that baby girls would be born at some stage. They cracked the problem only recently and I think you all know who the person is who is carrying a baby that is probably going to be a girl.’
I sort of sunk down I my seat, not wanting to draw attention to myself but now knowing that my pregnancy, far from being a private affair, was know by everyone else too!
‘Now they’ve worked out the right medical procedures, they’re almost at the stage to roll out the treatment to all the girls. The problem for them is that they still needed to do further tests on the impregnated girl to make sure that the foetus was indeed female and that the child would be healthy.
‘The breakout during which the girl escaped caused an immediate pandemonium. Even now, the entire British mainland is being scoured to find her. As far as the rest of the children in the school are concerned, it’s business as usual. They have not been told of any trouble and are being closely watched and monitored constantly. The explosions–when the girl and others escaped–has been put down to a gas explosion in the kitchens. Naturally, the kids all believe that, because they are in a situation where they have had their minds continually manipulated. None of them, even four and five petal students, are allowed out of the school grounds any more and there’s a total information blackout. I can tell you that a number of children are now being given the same treatment as the successful–if that’s the right word–girl in the hope that they will be able to replicate their apparent success at a critical stage, making her escape, less significant.
‘That’s all I’m going to say at present because I’m going to be debriefed tomorrow morning after I have had a rest and then I will be available to see the relevant people and departments if they want me.’
With that Mariette–or Sophia–nodded and left the dais and her place was taken by Mariah Hepstone. ‘That’s all for the time being, everyone. We will let you know as much as we can by means of your uPads and we will meet here again tomorrow at the same time to give more updates if possible.’
Then she left and the lights came up. Bethany and I exchanged glances.
‘Blimey, that was a surprise,’ Bethany exclaimed.
‘D’you think she’s genuine or some sort of double agent,’ I speculated out loud.
‘Well, she’d be a triple agent, wouldn’t she?’
‘I don’t know. It’s all getting very confusing.’
After saying goodbye to Bethany, who wanted to go and do some emergency repairs on a nail that had the temerity to break, I managed to find my way to Doctor Eccles office, after asking directions from several people. I knocked on her door.
‘Come in.’ I heard faintly.
Opening the door, I went in and found myself in a typical doctor’s consulting room, with lots of medical type equipment, a large desk and behind it, Doctor Eccles.
‘Sorry I’m late, Doctor, I got a bit lost,’ I confessed.
‘No problem, Rebecca, I’ve only just got here myself. Could you go behind the screens and take all your clothes off–even your undies–then slip on the gown that’s hanging on the peg?’
I went behind the screen and was soon out my clothes and in the rather draughty white examination gown. When I came out a slight draught made me conscious that my rear end was open to the elements.
‘Ah, there you are, Rebecca. Okay, hop up on the examination table and I’ll have a look at you.’
I won’t go into details of what a gynae examination involves–except to say that dignified it’s not–if you’ve had one, you’ll know all about it; if you haven’t, count yourself lucky! About an armful of blood was taken and I had to supply some pee–which took forever to produce because I was nervous and it was all a leeetle bit messy. Dr. Eccles did some other tests that required me to have wires, cables, pads and other bits and pieces on my tummy and other part of my anatomy. Then she did some sort of scan with the help of a nurse where I had to go into a side room, lie down on a padded table and be inserted into some sort of tube thingie and was told to hold my breath several times.
The tests seemed to go on and on and I felt decidedly exhausted by the time they had finished. After re-dressing, I sat down at the desk as the doctor read some notes on her vidi screen.
‘Good,’ she said after a moment, turning to me and giving me a big smile, ‘the wound on the back of your head is healing splendidly, you’re in quite good health considering the cocktail of somewhat toxic drugs you’ve been given over an extended period. We will give you course of detox pressure injections that should counteract those. All in all you are lucky. A number of the girls who have been rescued have had a lot more wrong with them.’
‘How is the baby?’ I asked.
‘Doing fine as far as we can tell. Baby is only about the size of a poppy seed at the moment. Have you felt sick much?’
‘Yes; I stopped feeling sick for a bit, but it’s come back again.’
‘I’ll give you something for that. How do you feel apart from that?’
‘A bit tired, washed out, stressed, not knowing whether I am coming or going, scared about having the baby, scared about not having the baby; worried about just about everything, tearful and very emotional. Apart than that, I’m fine.’
She smiled.
‘Welcome, Rebecca, to the world of motherhood in these troubled times. I could give you pills that would make you smile while someone saws off your leg, but I don’t think pills are the answer. You could have counselling, but judging by your recent experiences with counsellors, we’ll leave that as a possible option. I think the best thing to do is talk to your loved ones and open up to them–having a chat from time to time helps. If it all gets too heavy, come and see me, okay?’
I nodded.
‘Right, off you pop. I need to treat some really sick people and you aren’t that by any means!’
I found Bethany waiting for me outside.
‘How did it go? Was it like–torture?’
‘No, it wasn’t too bad, although I didn’t like my blood being taken or my private bits being stretched––’
‘–Ooh, don’t,’ squealed Beth, ‘it sounds like, excruciating.’
I explained the less sickly bits as we meandered down the hall to the large rest area over at the back of the house. Just as we were entering, both our uPads chimed simultaneously.
Fishing mine out of my bag, I saw that it was from Dada.
Come to the office (room 22), asap.
Bethany was looking at hers.
‘Unc wants to see me.’
‘Me too,’ I said. We looked at each other, shrugged and then arm in arm walked through several corridors and after asking directions, found ourselves at the office.
Beth knocked and entered, with me hard on her heels. I was somewhat surprised as I had expected a small office similar to the one where I first saw Daddy, but this was a huge area with numerous desks, comps, large vids on the walls and lots of people. The place was abuzz and seemed to be the nerve centre for the entire operation. There were several glass-walled offices leading off the central area and to be honest we had no idea where to go.
After looking helpless for a few moments, a man in a t-shirt and jeans approached us.
‘Bethany and Rebecca?’ he asked. ‘You’re expected; please come this way.’
He was rather a nice looking man–a bit old for me but as I was only twelve, that wasn’t surprising. Recently, I had found myself being quite attracted to men and that my mind had been messed with in that respect. At some stage I was going to need some heavy duty psych’ help, as I really didn’t know who the real me was any more.
I shook my head to clear it, tried to ignore the attractive shape of his bottom, put on my happy face and followed him.
My face wasn’t so happy when we were shown into a side room and there was Marriette, with Dada, Mummy, a few others and the commanding presence of Mariah Hepstone, who looked up from what she was reading as we entered.
‘Ah, girls, thanks for coming. Shall we all sit down and we can talk. Would you like something to drink?’
‘Zinga, please.’ I replied, and Bethany asked for the same.
I was unable to take my eyes off Mariette. She looked cool, sophisticated and very pretty in a cream dress suit and white satin blouse. She was looking at us, a small smile on her full red lips.
I didn’t smile back, and just looked at the large vid on the wall that was showing the news. I was sure it was Australia, for although the sound was turned down I could see that it was an overview of Sydney from the harbour and there were several places where fires were blazing–including the opera house.
‘Good,’ said Mariah, ‘I thought that it would be a good idea to get you all together––’
The door opened and Auntie slipped in. she gave a whispered apology and sat next to Bethany, who squealed slightly, looked guilty and then just held her mum’s hand.
‘As I was saying, I thought that it would save a lot of time, trouble and questions if we all had a meeting to clear the air, so to speak.’ She then gazed straight at me.
‘You have a right to know what’s been going on while you have been at the school and the things we did to protect you and the others there who were vulnerable. I regret that we were unable to help everyone and some children were killed in the experiments that they used to acquire the perfect treatment.
‘What I said earlier was true: you were all guinea pigs. They wanted to make the perfect girl. As far as I’m concerned, they’re no better than Hitler’s Nazi régime and the attempts they made, to the cost of many others, to ensure and perpetuate the myth of Aryan supremacy. Our so-called elected government want female babies to be born, free of genetic and inherited problems. That was fair enough, but not at the cost that they are prepared to pay and the lives they are prepared to sacrifice in their quest for the prefect female child.
‘It wasn’t only money–although that was a strong consideration as the country is nearly bankrupt–it was a power thing too: they were determined to be the first to perfect the treatment of children to produce female offspring and then use the immense power that that knowledge would give them to influence the world and perhaps mould the ideology they were peddling.
‘They had to acquire boys to metamorphose, or transmute so they searched for carefully selected kids of a certain age, to put through vigorous testing procedures to weed out any undesirables and–to them–genetically flawed candidates. Even then, a certain number of boys got through the testing stage – and because they knew too much or the treatment went wrong–they were eliminated. According to the old adage, dead men tell no tales. So these children were–according to the official propaganda–‘moved’ to other schools, but of course the truth was considerably more sinister.
‘For some time now, we have had a number of people at selected schools that have been our eyes and ears as to what has been going on. I cannot go into details as to the methods used as, what you don’t know, you cannot pass on.’
She looked directly at me and Bethany and smiled.
‘Let me assure you, that the girl you know as Marriette and I know as Sophia, is in fact one of us and always has been. How do I know? Well I put her in your school or shall I say, I used some hidden influences to have her placed there and she was trained by our best people, implanted with state of the art drugs that counteracted the mind-bending drugs to which you two have been subjected. In addition to this and if any further assurances are required, her surname is not Thompson, it’s Hepstone. She is my daughter.
You could have knocked me down with a feather. It was another shock to add to all the others I had had lately. Mariette’s mum was Mariah! Mind you, I had to stop thinking of her as Marriette now–she was Sophia.
A few minutes later the meeting had to break up as there was a bit of a crisis–this wasn’t unusual, it was the norm here. Bethany went off with Auntie and that just left Sophia and me in the room.
We were silent for a few minutes and then both tried to speak at once.
‘Rebecca.’
‘Sophia.’
We both laughed.
‘You first,’ she said slipping off her heels and crossing her long shapely legs at the ankles.
‘I thought you were one of them.’
‘I know, but I wasn’t–though they did think that I was one of them. My cover was the best available. They had absolutely no idea that mum was Mariah Hepstone.’
‘And I told Helena that you had tried to, to––’
‘Turn you into a rebel? It was all part of the school’s plans to find out if you were a plant and had sympathies with the other side. I was playing a more or less double, or I suppose triple agent role.’
‘Bethany said that–triple agent, I mean.’
‘Yes, confusing isn’t it? Anyway, I was made aware of your conversation with Helena and how shocked that you apparently were for suggesting that you were not loyal to the cause. That was good, because it achieved two things: first, make them believe that you were a good little girl and second, that I was loyal to the state. What Mum calls a win-win situation. For all their apparent cleverness, the authorities have made a lot of mistakes and assumptions along the way that we have been able to capitalise on.
‘For example they are unaware that we have personnel in key positions including communications who can alter records or change things to our advantage. The government has been in power for a long time and became rotten to the core years ago. Now things are worse for them. All their brainy people have been disposed of because they were a threat to them, and now all that’s left are a hard core of nutters headed by that bitch Alysia Wellgood. Nobody trusts anyone else and they run scared of a knock on the door at the dead of night and a sudden disappearance to God knows where.
‘I didn’t know any of this, why didn’t my parents––’
‘–tell you? Because such knowledge could have had you killed. They knew that they had to appear as normal, good, party people: even so they managed to blot their copy books and got sent to places where the life expectancy was little above zero. India is a bad place to be and if you are a foreigner–particularly from the UK, the country that had ceased trading with them and had called in debts–you have no real need to look to the future because you don’t have one. The Indian embassy was bombed and flattened five hours after the personnel escaped through a sewage tunnel. It was believed that everyone was killed when the mini nuke bomb went off, but luckily, everyone got out.
‘Why would India do that? The people in the embassy were innocent?’
She gazed at me and thought for a moment.
‘Our people think that the UK nuked the embassy. They had a lot of people whom they termed undesirables in there so, from their point of view, it was a neat trick to explode the bomb. Apparently loyal personnel left the embassy the previous day somehow, leaving the others–including your parents–to their fate. It would kill more than two birds with one stone, as they say, to use a bomb on the place. They would be able to blame Indo-China for the atrocity and get rid of a number of problem individuals.’
‘How d’you know that India didn’t do it?’
‘Because India and the greater state of Indo-China does not have the technology. Oh, they have conventional nuclear weapons, but not the mini-nuke. It was only because of the intervention of several neutral countries that the orbit defences didn’t launch reprisal strikes against Indo-china. We added our voice too, explaining that there were other factors involved.’
‘So, what happens now?’ I asked.
‘We sit and wait.’
‘Like birds in the wilderness?’ I queried.
‘Yeah, if you like.’ She grinned. ‘There’s not much else we can do.’
Back in my room later in the day, I was writing my journal on my uPad. I had a lot to put in it and I wanted to get things down while they were fresh in my memory. I was still quite sore from my gynae examination and also felt slightly sick. So much for morning sickness, it seemed to be there at any time of day.
Before long it was dark outside; I didn’t realise how quickly time passed as I updated my journal. Checking the time, I realised that I only had fifty minutes until dinner. I had been told that tonight’s dinner was to be formal. I had a dress hanging up–borrowed from somewhere–that I was to wear. It was pretty and I couldn’t wait to try it on.
First thing first though. I took a couple of tablets that the doc had given me to counteract the sicky feelings.
After that, I went in the shower room, stripped off and entered the pod. I set the cycle on refresh and shuddered slightly as the water hit my sensitive bits. As the water and suds cascaded down my body, I felt my tummy: was it getting bigger? It shouldn’t if baby was so tiny, should it? Mind you, my breasts certainly felt bigger and more sensitive. I wondered once again if the baby was a girl or boy. One of the tests that the doctor carried out was a gender test and the results should be available the following day.
I knew how important the result of that test was. I had been told that it was highly likely that I was carrying a girl, but we wouldn’t be one hundred percent sure until the results came through.
After the drier had finished with me, I used the straighteners to erm, straighten my hair, and then the curling tongs to put a flick up look to the ends. I know it sounds daft, but I think it looked lovely.
While still in just my panties and bra, I applied some makeup. I hadn’t bothered for the last few days for obvious reasons. Light foundation and a touch of colour to my cheeks helped take away the rather pale and pasty look that I had had lately. Smoky eye shadow and black eye liner accentuated my eyes and made them look bigger. My lips, I lined with pink pencil and then filled them in with highly glossy pink lip gloss. As soon as I was happy with my face, I slid stockings up my legs and then carefully put on the dress.
Ah–the dress. As soon as I saw it, I had longed to jump into it, but being a strong-minded girl, I held back until I was ready for it. It was a gorgeous gold, pin-tuck, party confection–a sort of crushed silk look material that had a slight silvery shimmer when it moved. It had pin-tuck ruching on the bust with light boning to give it support. It was drop-dead gorgeous and I just adored the way it moved against my body and nylon-sheathed legs.
The final touches included diamond drop earrings with a matching necklace and pendant, and three-inch heeled gold strappy sandals. I spritzed the air and then walked through the mist. Gazing at my reflection when I had finished, I thought that I looked decidedly pretty. I didn’t have time to take in my reflection fully though, because there was a soft knock on the door.
‘Come in.’ I called.
The door opened and there was my Mummy. She was looking wonderful. She had never looked prettier, in a calf length black strappy frock that floated around her body. She had her hair up and it really suited her. I felt so proud of my Mummy that I could cry–only I didn’t as I didn’t want to ruin my makeup.
‘Oh, Rebecca, you look absolutely gorgeous, sweetheart.’
‘So do you, Mummy. I love your hair.’
‘Yours too… It looks pretty flicked up like that. You look a lot older than twelve dressed like that.’
‘Do I?’
‘Yes, love, you do.’
‘I—I don’t want to grow up yet–am I silly?’
‘No, sweetheart. You haven’t had much of a childhood, have you? Well, although you are going to be a mum soon, don’t forget to try and have a bit of fun too. You’re only young once.’
‘Not much chance of fun with all this hanging over us.’
‘I know, love, but we make the best of what we’ve got. This government is teetering on the edge and the end can’t be far away. Come on or we’ll be late and you know what your father is like about punctuality.’
‘I thought that it was normal for a girl to be late.’
‘Not as far as he’s concerned. Anyway, I’m starving, aren’t you?’
I thought for a moment. The pills had done the trick, I wasn’t feeling sick and my appetite had come back, so yes, I was hungry.
As we made our way downstairs, arm in arm, I still found it hard to believe that Mummy was next to me and I was about to see Dada, Bethany and Sophia again. I was aware of my silky dress swishing against my legs and my hair brushing gently against my bare shoulders. My lips felt sweet and slightly sticky because of the lip gloss. I had never felt more feminine before and I was really, really happy–happier than I had been for a long, long time. My family and friends were with me and I was relatively safe. How long would it last? I didn’t know, but for now, I would savour the moment and enjoy my young life to the full.
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Previously…
The door opened and there was my Mummy. She was looking wonderful. She had never looked prettier, in a calf length black strappy frock that floated around her body. She had her hair up and it really suited her. I felt so proud of my Mummy that I could cry–only I didn’t as I didn’t want to ruin my makeup.
‘Oh, Rebecca, you look absolutely gorgeous, sweetheart.’
‘So do you, Mummy. I love your hair.’
‘Yours too… It looks pretty flicked up like that. You look a lot older than twelve dressed like that.’
‘Do I?’
‘Yes, love, you do.’
‘I—I don’t want to grow up yet–am I silly?’
‘No, sweetheart. You haven’t had much of a childhood, have you? Well, although you are going to be a mum soon, don’t forget to try and have a bit of fun too. You’re only young once.’
‘Not much chance of fun with all this hanging over us.’
‘I know, love, but we make the best of what we’ve got. This government is teetering on the edge and the end can’t be far away. Come on or we’ll be late and you know what your father is like about punctuality.’
‘I thought that it was normal for a girl to be late.’
‘Not as far as he’s concerned. Anyway, I’m starving, aren’t you?’
I thought for a moment. The pills had done the trick, I wasn’t feeling sick and my appetite had come back, so yes, I was hungry.
As we made our way downstairs, arm in arm, I still found it hard to believe that Mummy was next to me and I was about to see Dada, Bethany and Sophia again. I was aware of my silky dress swishing against my legs and my hair brushing gently against my bare shoulders. My lips felt sweet and slightly sticky because of the lip gloss. I had never felt more feminine before and I was really, really happy–happier than I had been for a long, long time. My family and friends were with me and I was relatively safe. How long would it last? I didn’t know, but for now, I would savour the moment and enjoy my young life to the full.
And now the story continues…
We were bombed at 3.30 in the morning.
The previous evening had been wonderful, the dress made me feel like a real girl, almost a princess. I know that it could have been my conditioning that made me feel this way, but, for the moment I just enjoyed looking pretty. It had taken ages to get ready and I think the final effect was as good as it could be. The shimmery gold dress fitted me to perfection and made me feel special. My hair shone with all the brushing and attention that I had given it. My makeup was slightly overstated, but as Mummy said, it’s expected when you glam up.
I was wearing gold sandals on my feet and the heels were a bit higher than I was used to, but for all that, they were quite comfortable. How I would feel though after wearing them for several hours was another question.
Sitting next to my parents and glancing at the people sharing our table, I noticed that everyone had made an effort and, for once, Bethany showed some restraint by wearing a cream satin dress, and her hair up. True, her makeup was a bit heavy, but she had not trowelled it on. I smiled at that catty thought and then looked at Auntie who was sat next to her. I could see that they were both pleased to be together again. Sophia looked sophisticated in an LBD that showed off her lovely figure to the full.
The food was the best that replicators could provide. The older people had wine and wouldn’t have minded a sip or three, but I was in a delicate condition, as Mariah tastefully put it and anyway I was underage: although I didn’t mind too much, because the sparkling apple juice tasted just fine to me.
The evening passed in a haze of good talk and laughter. For once there was no shop talk or mention of the problems we were encountering and I was glad of that. Talking about constant danger and the threats over our heads, doesn’t make for sparkling conversation and repartee. It was a good evening and one that I remember with particular fondness.
All too soon it was time for bed. I still tired somewhat easily and went up before many of the others, but as I took off my makeup and then donned my silky nightie, I hummed a tune that I heard from the sound system while we ate. It was something by Schubert, but for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was called.
Anyway, shortly after I got into bed, Mummy and Dada came in and kissed me goodnight.
‘Night,’ I mumbled, as I could hardly keep my eyes open.
I felt two kisses on my forehead and then I must have fallen asleep.
It was as if I was in the middle of an earthquake. I seemed to be propelled out of my bed as explosion after explosion seemed to rock the house.
I could hear screaming and the sound of running feet outside. There was dust everywhere and I coughed as I breathed some of it in. The lights had come up and there was the sound of a Claxton or alarm going off somewhere. Then I heard someone shouting over the loudspeaker.
‘All personnel report for duty. All those without duties, follow the red line and go down into the bunkers.’
Hurriedly, I put on my dressing gown and slippers, picked up my bag and ran out of the room, joining others outside, who were tearing along the corridor, either one way or the other. There were two lines illuminating the wall one green, going one way and another red going the other.
I jumped as Bethany, similarly attired to me, grabbed my elbow.
‘Come on!’ she shouted through the noise. I barely recognised her as she had some green gunk on her face and her hair was in huge curlers. The green stuff was, I think, some sort of face pack. I would have laughed in more normal circumstances.
We dashed along the corridor following several others still in their night clothes. I was nearly knocked off my feet by one particularly loud explosion and it was only due to the fact that Beth was holding on to me that I didn’t fall. Next we went down several flights of stairs, through what seemed to be a heavy steel door and then we found ourselves in some sort of large communal area. There were lots of kids here and one or two whom I recognised from the boys’ and the girls’ schools. I was sure I recognised one of the girls from somewhere, but I couldn’t decide where. Why I hadn’t seen her earlier, I didn’t know. But there was no time for speculation as we all lined up and waited for a man to come along and tick us off a list he had.
The bombing had stopped shortly after we reached the bunker but my ears were still ringing from the noise. I felt dusty and my hair was all gritty, but I was no different from anyone else.
After being ticked off the list, we were told to go to another room off the main one. The place looked like it was a purpose built bomb shelter, with equipment and stores lining the walls. I estimated that the sheer size of it meant that it was probably as large as the house above. I marvelled at the organisation of the place and the fact that everyone, except for some of the kids–including me, I am ashamed to admit–were busy, didn’t look frightened and appeared cool and calm in what, to me was a bit of a crisis. I wanted to go and bury my head in the sand–that was how brave I felt at that moment!
Someone touched my arm. I turned around and smiled as I recognised the doctor who had given me an examination.
‘Rebecca, are you all right?’
‘I—I think so, Doctor Eccles–just scared.’
‘Join the club!’ she smiled, ‘no aches or pans down below?’
‘No.’
‘Not feeling sick?’
‘A bit, now you mention it.’
‘Want something for it?’
‘Please.’
‘Come along then. We have medical facilities down here.’
I followed her just as I saw Beth disappear into the ladies–maybe to get that stuff off her face–it did look somewhat weird.
I followed the doctor through several doors and passages until I found myself in what seemed to be a mini hospital. There were a few people on beds or waiting to be seen by the medical teams. Some had knocks, bruises, cuts and things like that. One young girl looked as if her leg was broken and was being attended to by a nurse and doctor. I didn’t have much time to gawp though, as I was shown into a side ward.
‘Sit there for a minute.’
The doctor went away for a moment and then came back with some pills.
‘Here you go, take a couple now and two more in about four hours time. If you get any strange feelings or pains in your tummy let me know immediately. The last thing we want now is for you to become ill or lose your baby.’
I swallowed the pills with a drink of water and then watched the doctor keying some things in on her touch screen.
‘Doctor, what’s happening?’
She looked up. ‘Oh, we were attacked by the UK forces. Our shields held though. What we felt was the shock waves that couldn’t be fully dissipated.’
‘Why attack us?’
She looked at me quizzically.
‘Don’t you know?’
‘No.’
She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. ‘Well, I think it was because they wanted to destroy our organisation despite the dire threats from US of A & C that they would not tolerate any attacks on I.O.M. but there is you as well.’
‘Me?’ I squeaked.
‘Yes, they wanted to kill you. If they couldn’t have you, they didn’t want another country taking advantage of your unique status.’
I slumped down and I could feel tears forming in the corner of my eyes.
‘S—S—So it’s all my fault?’
She grabbed me by the shoulder. ‘Never say that. It is their fault and their disgusting, rotten regime. They have wanted an excuse to get rid of us for some time. They are mad to do this, knowing what reprisals might come their way. It’s just their arrogance that makes them think that they are untouchable.’
‘Why are you telling me all this?’
‘Because for my sins apart from being a medical doctor I am also a qualified psychiatrist, so if you feel that things are getting you down or you can’t cope, come and see me. I was asked by your parents to make sure that you are all right. They are busy right now, as you can imagine, and they wanted you to have a heads up on the situation, because they–and so do I–think that you deserve to know all that we know. I would ask you to keep what I have told you to yourself for the moment; not everyone can cope with the truth. They will be told in a controlled way. Now if you feel a bit better, you should go and find a chair or a bed somewhere and get some rest. In your condition, you need to take it easy when you get the chance.’
‘Thanks, Doctor,’ I said standing up. ‘Doctor?’
‘Yes, love?’
‘I—I—I’m scared.’
She opened her arms and I ran to her. I cried my eyes out and couldn’t stop my emotions from taking me over for a while.
After several minutes, I calmed down.
‘T—thanks.’ I sniffed.
‘Feel a bit better now?’
‘Y—yes. Thank you for being here.’
‘Don’t mention it,’ she smiled.
I found Bethany after a bit of a search, sitting on a bunk bed in one of the side rooms. Her face had that clean, just scrubbed look and I noted how pretty she really was without all those layers of makeup. I noted that many of the younger children were back in bed and asleep. I could not fathom how they could all sleep after everything we had been through.
Bethany was brushing her hair and didn’t look particularly happy, although she did smile as I came up and sat on the bed next to hers.
‘What’s up Beth?’ I asked.
‘My hair’s a mess. I wanted to go and have a shower and wash my hair but this enormous woman–who looked like a lady wrestler–told me that water is rationed for the moment and washing hair is not considered as a priority. I ask you. The woman has her priorities all wrong. At least she let me wash my face.’
I laughed. ‘Trust you to think more about your hair and face than the emergency we’re having.’
‘There is no point in worrying over something you can’t do anything about. I can’t sort out the world’s problems but I can sort out mine.’
There was some sort of twisted logic there, but I was too worried and tired to think about it.
‘I’m going to bed, I’m cream crackered.’
I smiled at that, one of Dada’s favourite sayings, although I never did understand it.
I got into bed and thought I would stay awake for ages, but somehow just fell asleep.
The following morning we were all wakened early. After a makeshift breakfast of good old-fashioned corn flakes and toast. We were all told that there was a meeting back upstairs and we had to be quick with our breakfasts. I noticed, as I followed the others back up into the main house, that there were signs of damage on some of the walls and ceilings, with cracks here and there where plaster had fallen off some of the walls. But apart from that, the place seemed to be in pretty good shape. I was wearing trackie-bums and a top; it wasn’t a day for dressing up, as far as I was concerned, especially with all the dust lying around, but tell that to Bethany who was wearing a totally impractical lemon-coloured dress.
‘Well,’ she said indignantly, ‘someone’s got to keep up standards!’
Sometimes I thought she was twelve coming on forty.
We sat in roughly the same place in the theatre as the previous day.
Mummy and Dada were on the stage with several other people. I finger waved them and smiled when it was returned. Mind you, they both looked tired, as if they’d had little sleep lately. There was a buzz of conversation going around, but that quietened down when Mariah came onto the stage. You could tell that she was a leader. She had the sort of bearing that demanded attention.
She stopped in front of the stage and looked out at us.
‘Thank you for coming.’ She said smiling tiredly. ‘We have all had a somewhat rough night, but things are looking up, I hope. For those of you who are unaware of what happened early this morning, we were attacked by a number of missiles launched from the UK. I think they expected to totally obliterate this place and all people in it. What they were not aware of is that we have sophisticated defences supplied by our allies in the US of A& C. Although we do not have offensive weapons, we are well able to protect ourselves against conventional weapons.’
She stopped for a moment as her mini UPad went off.
‘Excuse me,’ she said apologetically.
She went to the side of the stage and whispered conversations started up all over the theatre. She was gone for a good five minutes and I am ashamed to say, I fell asleep, only to be nudged awake by Beth as Mariah walked back to the centre of the stage.
‘I apologise for the interruption, but I was awaiting confirmation of a few things. The UK had sent us last night an ultimatum that we should all give ourselves up or face the consequences. This was stupid move on their part as it gave us time to ensure that our defences were in place and that relevant allies were put on warning as to what was going to happen. The call that I have just taken was from the leader of The US of A & C, Clara Wallbecker. She informed me that they, together with several other nations have imposed sanctions on the UK and warned them if they do not desist from the warlike actions against the Isle of Man, then tougher sanctions will be put in place, up to and possibly including the use of armed force...’
There was a sharp intake of breath and several people called out as these words were spoken.
‘Please, please, I have not finished.’
Things quietened down. I found my hand in Bethany’s. I think that she was as scared as I was at this sudden escalation.
‘For reasons of security, I can’t tell you much more at present, but please be aware that the situation is fluid and will remain so for a while. We have not heard the UK government’s reaction to all this, but from sources close to the leadership, we know that they are rattled and in some turmoil. As soon as we are able, we will update you on the situation, but for time being, could you please carry on as normal–or as normal as you can under the circumstances–thank you.’
She left the stage with the others, including my parents who I would have dearly loved to speak to and the lights faded up. Bethany and I glanced at one another, and I was just about to comment when both of our uPads chimed.
We looked at each other again, shrugged and then checked our devices.
‘Please go to the admin office on the first floor. Room B213’
‘Oooh, we have the same message,’ Bethany said, craning over my shoulder.
We followed the others out and made our way up the ornate staircase and to room B213. We couldn’t really miss it as a lot of people we coming in and going out of there. I felt a bit sick–again–and wondered if it was just nerves or preggy-type sickness.
The door swung open, I still wasn’t used to old fashioned doors that actually required you physically to open and close them to work–how old fashioned is that? Anyway, we made our way inside and saw yet another huge room similar to the one we were in yesterday with banks of vid screens and lots of people at desks with monitors, all looking very busy. I didn’t have much chance to take all that in as Dada materialised from somewhere and was standing in front of us.
‘Neat trick, Unc,’ said Bethany appreciatively. Dada grimaced at being called Unc once again. I swear that Bethany did it to wind him up!
After a hug and kiss, he was all business. ‘Okay, girls, come this way.’
‘What’s it all about, Dada?’
‘Wait and see, sweetie,’
We were led into another room. Only Mummy, Auntie Connie and Mariah were there. I went straight to Mummy and gave her a big hug.
‘Hello, honey, no dress this morning?’
I smiled ruefully. ‘I’m not Bethany, you know.’
‘I heard that,’ said Beth indignantly and then shut up as Mariah looked across at us and frowned.
Mariah was talking on the vid to a rather elderly lady who I vaguely recognised but could not put a put a name to the face. Then as her name was spoken I knew…
‘Pia, thanks for the advice.’
…Pia Constantine was the UK leader thirty years ago. She retired from politics shortly afterwards. A great leader some said the last great leader we had. Why was Mariah talking to her?
The vid went blank and Mariah turned to us.
‘Sit down, all of you, please.’
We found chairs and settled down. Mariah then looked around, glanced at some notes on her table screen and then looked straight at me.
‘Rebecca, how are you feeling, dear?’
I was getting a bit fed up with everyone asking the same question, but you don’t argue with Mariah. ‘All right; a bit sick and tired sometimes, but Doctor Eccles has given me some tablets to counteract that.’
‘Good–’
Just then someone came in behind me and shut the door quietly.
Mariah looked up and then nodded.
‘Talk of the devil; hello Phillipa, have you got the results?’
I glanced behind me and saw that it was Doctor Eccles.
‘Yes, Mariah.’
Mariah looked at me again.
‘Rebecca, Doctor Eccles has the results of the tests regarding the gender of your baby. Tradition says that you have the choice whether to know your baby’s gender or not. Do you wish to know?’
‘Yes please. I need to know.’
‘Would you like us all to leave for a moment while the doctor talks to you?’
I looked around at my family. I needed them with me, now of all times.
‘No, that’s okay; you are all sort of involved.’
I was holding Mummy’s hand and Dada was sitting on the other side of me. There was a pause that seemed like eternity. My mind was in a turmoil. This would be the final confirmation as to whether I was making history or just that I was just another transformed girl with baby boy in her tummy.
Doctor Eccles came over and sat on the corner of Mariah’s desk.
‘Rebecca, we have done extensive tests and repeated them twice, just to make sure. I can confirm that the baby–your baby–is a girl.’
There was a sharp intake of breath and I felt very weak. If I hadn’t have been sitting down, I would have probably fallen.
Nothing was said for a moment. I had a feeling that Mariah already knew the results of the tests as she didn’t seem very surprised.
Mummy hugged me and then Dada. The rest followed in quick succession and Bethany whispered in my ear, ‘You are a lucky girl!’
When everyone settled down again and I had stopped blubbing, Mariah spoke up.
‘Rebecca, the reason why everyone is here is that we need to ensure that you are safe. Believe it or not, you are one of the most important people in the world right now. The fact that we have been attacked–even though reprisals are bound to follow–show us that the UK government are keen to make sure that you are not put into the hands of a foreign power. If another country were to have you, and was able to replicate what has happened to you, then the UK has no bargaining power. We do know that some of the schools with transformed girls are–as we speak–trying to replicate the treatment used on you. Whether they will be successful or not, we cannot surmise. What I do know is that Sophia, in her guise as Marriette, was able to wipe some of the information off the medical data computers at your school, including, I am pleased to say, most if not all of your tests results at the medical centre. That was the prime reason why she had to get out of there quickly. We are not one hundred percent sure, but, incredibly, we have learnt that the results had not been backed up in any way–extremely sloppy, but indicative of the way things are at the moment. So they are handicapped in a way which we hope will prevent them doing anything about it–in the short term anyway.’
‘What’s going to happen to me?’ I asked, not liking the feeling that I was some sort of pawn in an elaborate game.
I realised something else was going on here–call it women’s intuition. Heck, a girl for ten minutes and already I think that I have it––
‘To be frank, we don’t think that you are safe here. We have repulsed one attack, but next time they may use stronger weapons. We are in the process of moving everybody out. We have several safe places we can use. I am concerned that the more people who know your whereabouts, the more chances there are that you will be found, captured or eliminated. I have spoken to your parents and they agree with me. We want to move you to a separate safe place. Your parents, Connie, Bethany, Doctor Eccles and a few other people will be coming with you. How do you feel about that?’
‘Do I have a choice?’
‘Not really. I cannot guarantee your safety, but this is the best we can do for you. You carry a very special cargo, but you are just as important, if not more so. If you can have one female child, you can bear another. We need to find out whatever it is that helps you to conceive girls, so that others can benefit and the genetic time bomb with which we have been living for years can be defused.’
I gazed at the others. Even Bethany looked sober and was not playing with her hair or clothes. This was incredibly heavy for a twelve-year-old, but I had been living with the consequences of all this since the day I was born. I felt a twinge in my tummy. It couldn’t be a kick, as she was too small, but more of a fluttering. Nerves, maybe?
‘I had better go and get packed then.’ I said more brightly than I felt.
It had been a frantic few hours as many people had to be moved to safety. Hovers were going hither and thither all the time, including heavy truck hovers that were to move all the equipment from the house. I met Mariah one more time before she went off somewhere.
‘Look after yourself, Becky,’ she said briefly, ‘I think the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours are going to be difficult; look after yourself.’ She then had brief words with the others before she was whisked off somewhere with the rest of her staff.
The hover we rode in was larger than the one we used to get to the island. I suppose that there must have been about thirty of us aboard. For security reasons the windows were blacked out. Once again it was a case of “if you don’t know where you are, you can’t tell anybody”.
I was acutely aware that all this was about me. I was the one being protected and in need of protection. I felt a heavy weight of responsibility and expectation and it didn’t fit comfortably upon my young shoulders.
I knew that we were still on The Isle Of Man. We had been told that it was still the safest place for the moment and anyway, if any attempt was made to leave its waters, we would have been brought down by government attack ships.
After fifteen minutes or so, I could feel the deceleration as we came in to land. Soon, Bethany and I were being ushered into a hole in the side of a hill!
Appearances were deceptive though, since inside the hill was a large fully functioning underground area, with rooms, offices and big open spaces. It was strange though, because we appeared to be the only ones there! I found out later that formerly it had been a government nuclear shelter complex which had been altered for our use–or rather the resistance forces’ use.
For the time being it was going to be our home until things settled down a bit. I was given a room next to the medical centre. It was plain, had green metal walls and wasn’t exactly girlie, but I didn’t complain as it did have a comfortable bed, a large wardrobe and I had my own toilet facilities. It also had a dressing table with a large mirror and someone had thoughtfully supplied some of my favourite makeup, some brushes, clips and other essentials like a vid, a computer and other items that make a girl’s life bearable.
After sorting myself out and putting what clothes that I had brought with me in the wardrobe, I sank down on the bed with a sigh. I must have dropped off because the next thing I knew, I was being shaken on the shoulder by Dada.
‘Becky, sorry to wake you, honey, but you have to come with me.’
‘Okay, Dada, can I use the loo first?’ I was finding already that I used the toilet–a lot, now that I was pregnant. Heaven knows what it would be like when I was the size of a beached whale.
‘Of course.’ he smiled.
A few minutes later, I found myself in a conference room with several rows of chairs. Everybody seemed to be there and I just sat next to Beth who smiled squeezed my arm in greeting. Dada went up to the front to stand with my mother and Auntie Connie.
Mummy spoke up as soon as the room grew quiet.
‘Thank you, everybody, for coming; I know that you are all busy. However we have some news that you need to be aware of.’
She stopped for a moment and then continued; ‘I received a com from Mariah about twenty minutes ago. It seems that the headquarters have been mini-nuked by persons unknown but more than likely it was the UK armed forces on direct orders from Alysia Wellgood’s government. The house and surrounding areas have been totally destroyed. Luckily, everyone had been evacuated in time and no lives were lost. The Manx government has called for assistance and The US of A & C’s Atlantic fleet are on the way. These are the latest plasma powered warships and they can travel at 250 knots, so they shouldn’t be long in arriving. Also The US of A & C have increased their DEFCON level to 2 and have threatened to declare war on the UK if any further offensive moves are made against I.O.M. Their air force is also on a state of alert, so it seems as though, at last, Alysia Wellgood’s government have painted themselves into a corner.’
This news was received in stunned silence and then a man stood up.
‘What does that mean for us?’ he asked
Mummy gazed at him and then glanced at the rest of us, her eyes resting on me momentarily and then moving on.
‘To be honest, I don’t know, but I do know that the UK armed forces are as strong as they have been in fifty years; I also know that the heads of the armed services are not particularly happy with the government. The situation is very volatile but what really worries me is that Alysia Wellgood might just lash out like a wounded lion and to hell with the consequences.’
After the meeting I returned to my room. It was all getting a bit much, and sitting on my bed, I was rather tearful. I did not want to show my emotions in front of the others, but my hormones seemed to be doing crazy things to me at the moment. I just wondered when things would get better and then, maybe, we might have some good news for a change. Then I remembered the baby–my baby–growing slowly and surely in my womb. I had to be strong for her and the countless other babies that I hoped might follow once they had cracked the puzzle of no female children. That was good news, wasn’t it?
It was good news if I lived through all this mayhem. Only time would tell.
There was a knock on the door.
‘Come in,’ I glanced up, wiping my eyes with a tissue. I didn’t want to be seen crying.
The door opened slowly and then a girl entered. She was very pretty and immediately I recognised her as the girl from the previous day whom I thought I’d seen before–maybe at Overdean, my school? I wasn’t sure.
‘Rebecca, remember me?’
I stared at her–there was something very familiar about her–
‘Adrian––?’
I have noted a drop off in comments and readership on this story and would like your feedback as to whether I should continue to explore the story and concept or wind it up tidily. :-)
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
‘Surprised?’ she said coming over to me and giving me a hug.
The last time I saw Adrian Metcalf, I was saying goodbye to him...
Previously…
After the meeting I returned to my room. It was all getting a bit much, and sitting on my bed, I was rather tearful. I did not want to show my emotions in front of the others, but my hormones seemed to be doing crazy things to me at the moment. I just wondered when things would get better and then, maybe, we might have some good news for a change. Then I remembered the baby–my baby–growing slowly and surely in my womb. I had to be strong for her and the countless other babies that I hoped might follow once they had cracked the puzzle of no female children. That was good news, wasn’t it?
It was good news if I lived through all this mayhem. Only time would tell.
There was a knock on the door.
‘Come in,’ I glanced up, wiping my eyes with a tissue. I didn’t want to be seen crying.
The door opened slowly and then a girl entered. She was very pretty and immediately I recognised her as the girl from the previous day whom I thought I’d seen before–maybe at Overdean, my school? I wasn’t sure.
‘Rebecca, remember me?’
I stared at her–there was something very familiar about her–
‘Adrian––?’
And now the story continues…
‘W…what?’
‘Surprised?’ she said coming over to me and giving me a hug.
The last time I saw Adrian Metcalf, I was saying goodbye to him, because he wasn’t picked to be one of The Chosen; the reason given was that he was a diabetic. He was so upset at not being picked as he had wanted to be transformed. He or maybe I should say she, had always wanted to be a girl and had dressed in private for many years.
After a few seconds we separated. For some reason, we both were a bit tearful.
‘Adrian, is it really you. You look erm…different.’
She laughed, throwing her head back. She looked so pretty with long dark, straight hair. Her face, as was her body appeared very feminine.
‘It’s Adrienne now. I know, it’s silly having such a similar name, but my parents named me Adrian and it’s not that bad for a boy’s name so I went for a female equivalent that sounded quite exotic to me. Yes I am different. Look, shall we sit down and then I can tell you all about things and you can tell me how you have been doing. I can’t believe that I’m in the same room as The Special One.’
‘Drop the Special One rubbish.’
‘Well it’s true. You are the only one to be having a baby girl. I don’t envy you.’
‘Never mind that,’ I said wanting to get off the subject, ‘tell me what happened to you.’
We sat down, each with a cold Zinga, and she proceeded to tell me her story.
‘Well, you know that I wasn’t chosen because of my diabetes?’
‘Yes, you were terribly upset.’
‘I was, but shortly after you were taken over to the girls’ school with the others; I was approached again by one of the doctors on the selection panels. She sat me down and told me that a mistake had been made and I could be one of The Chosen too. My diabetes was only borderline and easily treatable and it would not affect me when I was being transformed. She said that the quota for the school had been filled, but if I chose, I could be transferred to another school and be in The Chosen programme there.
‘You had left and a couple of other friends also. As you know, I don’t make friends very easily so I felt a bit isolated after that. Anyway, I didn’t think I’d see you again so I had nothing to lose. I was transferred to St Clare’s and probably transitioned not long after you did. Later I found out that the reason for not being chosen in the first place was that they had a policy of spitting up close friends–to help destabilise each individual. This was probably one of their weird and wonderful ideas that was supposed to help ‘assimilation’ but was more likely to do with politics.
‘So you could have stayed at our school then?’ I said.
‘That’s what I am trying to say. The diabetes was only a ruse really. My parents–like yours–worked for the state. They thought that we would be more of a security risk if we stayed close, so they moved me.’
‘Well,’ I said, hugging her again, ‘it’s great to see you.’
‘Yes, I was rescued from the school by one of the plants–Hannah Smith, a five-petal who was one of us. I had no idea what was going on really. I think I was pretty well brainwashed and a good little girl. I was so pleased when I was told I was pregnant––’
‘–You too?’ I exclaimed.
‘Yes–although they say that it’s a boy. I am about two months gone. Mind you I hate the sickness.’
‘Me too, it’s horrible.’
‘The pills help.’
‘Mmm; so you were saying how you escaped.’
‘Oh yes, there was some sort of diversion and the lights went out. I was by the perimeter with several other girls and was suddenly grabbed and pulled through a door. I fought it, thinking I was being abducted. Then as I was struggling so much, I think I was pressure injected and didn’t know any more until I woke up in hospital. I had been detoxed and had the mind control drugs washed out of my system. It was like waking up from a dream. My head was sore too, where the surgeon had taken the tracking device out. I hadn’t realised how far gone I had been. I’m okay now, though I do have nightmares occasionally. I was pleased to discover that five other girls escaped as well as me; I really wonder though what has been happening to the others who are still at St Clare’s.
‘I know. I worry too about the others at my school, I mean. I don’t really know how many escaped; it was all confusion, noises, screams and shouting.’
We were quiet for a moment and then I turned to her. ‘Did you know that David got killed?’
She nodded. ‘I heard, and he wasn’t the only one. I know for a fact that some of the kids at St Clare’s disappeared suddenly, to be “transferred”, which I think is a euphemism for being murdered.’
‘I hate everything like that,’ I said as tears began to flow again. We hugged once more, too upset to speak for some time.
It was delightful having Adrienne around. We had been great friends in the past and it was pleasantly reassuring to be together again. Thinking back, I suppose Adrian had always been rather effeminate and now that she had been transformed, she was like a caterpillar that had morphed into a beautiful butterfly.
We met up with Bethany on our way to the meeting and after the obligatory hugs and squeals of joy, we carried on. I still marvelled at how touchy-feely I had been getting since my transition. As a boy, I sort of held back a bit about showing my feelings, but now it was all as natural as breathing.
Bethany and Adrienne chattered incessantly about fashion and makeup while we made our way to meeting and to be honest, although I enjoyed being a girl, I couldn’t feel quite as enthusiastic as my two friends, so felt a bit left out.
Upon our arrival at conference room, we found everyone else was there. Mummy and Dada were at the front so we all found seats and settled down.
Mummy rose to her feet and gazed at her audience.
‘Thanks for coming, everybody. This is just to give you a quick update as to recent developments. As far as we know, there were no fatalities when the mini nukes hit Headquarters. Alternative locations have been found across the island and we are all in touch via scrambled communicators. For security, the exact location of each site has been shielded. I have spoken to Mariah who has told me that the situation is close to critical. Several ships of the USA & C are now close to UK waters and an ultimatum has been given to the UK government. That ultimatum is that all hostilities against this island are to stop with immediate effect, otherwise a state of war will be declared. A vote of no confidence in Alysia Wellgood’s government is being debated in parliament as we speak. She will win the vote because she’s enough seats to ensure that the vote goes her way. However, a deputation of high level military personnel had two meetings with the government and made it clear that they were not prepared to see the UK go to war with what is a much larger coalition of countries which includes–in addition to the US of A&C–Australia, Germany, France and a number of others.
‘Apparently, the UK is unstable–even more unstable than other countries bearing in mind the current world situation–which is why such a hard line is being taken. The fact that Alysia Wellgood sanctioned nuclear force against the island was one step too many.’
She paused for a moment and looked about the room, her eyes resting on me for a moment before continuing.
My heart had started pounding and the tension in my head was mounting. The stress of everything was beginning to get me down and it looked like I was going to have to visit Doctor Eccles later on. My mind returned to the present as Mummy continued.
‘Mariah has informed me that all the heads of the armed forces have been relieved of their command and the army and other armed services have been ordered back to their bases until a new tier of leadership is in place. Martial law has been implemented all across the UK and a curfew is in operation. The police and other civil forces have taken to the streets to maintain order.’
Everybody present gasped at this. It was all happening very fast. There was a lot of noise as we all started speaking at once.
‘Quiet…please!’
After a few moments, silence returned and she was able to continue.
‘I know that all of this is a shock, but you all need to be aware of the situation. As I say, martial law is in place throughout the UK. This hasn’t stopped rioting in London, Manchester, Birmingham, Dublin and Glasgow. We believe that other areas are affected but communications are limited.’
‘As far as we are concerned, we stay put. We are under the protection of the US of A&C and to be frank, I think that Alysia Wellgood has more to worry about at the moment than us. As soon as we hear anything further, we will let you know.’
The replicators were as good as anywhere and we had a choice of food on offer. I had a seafood salad, Beth a lasagne and Adrienne a pepperoni pizza and French fries.
‘I’m eating for two,’ she said smiling.
‘So am I,’ I retorted, ‘but at least I’m not poisoning her!’
She poked her tongue out and I replied in like fashion–not exactly ladylike, but it made us laugh anyway. My humour didn’t last, and while the other two were deciding what to do, I began to feel quite tired. I would have been happy just to go and have a lie down, but I had only just found Adrienne and I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her.
After our meal, Bethany and Adrienne were a bit bored. We had covered what had happened and caught up with each others' stories; furthermore we had exhausted any speculation as to what might happen next.
It was decided by Bethany that we needed to check what clothes Adrienne had brought and then, of course, we had to compare hers with ours. I wasn’t much interested, feeling a bit sick and rather tired, but I went along for the ride. Anyway, there wasn’t anything else to do.
Soon Bethany and Adrienne were deep into the intricacies of female fashion. I marvelled at how enthusiastic they both were. I suppose I was feeling a bit left out and sorry for myself as I sat on Adrienne’s bed and watched their antics.
I felt a slow tension build up in me. I wasn’t due another sick pill until tea time and I had a throbbing headache. I really ought to have just told them that I wanted to go for a rest, but didn’t.
They kept going on and on and on––
While Adrienne was slipping on a skirt, Bethany, trying on a blouse, turned to me. ‘What do you think, Becky?’
I looked at her, toying with half-filled glass of Zinga as I felt the tension rise in me. She was so pleased with herself and couldn’t have been more feminine if she tried and for some reason it was upsetting me.
‘Oh, that really looks nice on you,’ Adrienne piped up.
‘Becky?’ Bethany repeated.
I felt as if I was coming to the boil. I felt sick, my head was pounding, I was fed up with all this girl stuff and to cap it all, I was pregnant and that was what was causing all this–this–stuff!
‘You look wonderful, Bethany, you always do and you too Adrienne, you are girls through and through, but I’m not. I’m fed up with this. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want it. I hate everything, the bloody clothes and the pains; the fact that I have to go to the bloody loo every five minutes. I do not want this. Why should I? I didn’t ask to become pregnant. I didn’t ask to feel sick every single day. I don’t want this stonking great headache neither I do not want to be the saviour of the world, just because I have a girl growing in me. I don’t want it!’
I threw the glass at the wall and it smashed into smithereens. The noise made the others jump, but I was beyond caring now.
I saw them staring at me open-mouthed and couldn’t take any more. With a sob of despair, I ran out of the room along the corridor, up some steps, pushing people out of the way and crying my eyes out as I went. My head was pounding and I needed some air. It was claustrophobic in the house. I wanted some fresh air. I had to get out!
Somehow, I found myself at a side door and wrenched it open, breaking a nail in the process, not that I cared.
There was a small gravel path in front of me and beyond that a manicured lawn. In the distance was the glitter of reflected sunlight on water, a small lake in fact–in the centre of the grounds.
I crossed the path and ran down the gentle slope of the lawn that led to the lake, my steps noiseless as my feet sank into the short grass. I was breathing heavily, my heart pounding away. I had no idea what I was doing and just ran towards the water. My thoughts were jumbled and I started hearing voices.
‘Becky Dear, what are you doing?’
That was Helena.
‘You are very special,’ said Mariah.
‘You have been Chosen and are assimilated,’ said Amanda Jones, the school principal.
‘You are Chosen,’
‘The Chosen One’.
‘You have a baby girl.’
‘You are special.’
‘I AM JOHN!’ I screeched.
I could hear my tortured voice above the noise of the wind in the trees and the fountains of the lake as I went ever closer to the water. I stopped at the edge, my mind confused the voices were growing louder and I had to make them go away.
I stepped forward and shivered slightly as my hot, sandal-clad feet came into contact with the water.
It was cold but not icy. I felt compelled to carry on and I waded in, up to my knees, then waist and chest. The voices wouldn’t go away. It was all too much I couldn’t understand. I felt sick, disorientated and just wanted to sleep.
‘You are the Chosen One–’
‘Protect the unborn child.’
‘You are special, unique,’
‘The fate of the world rests with you…’
‘I–AM–JOHN––’
My head went under and as the water rushed over me, filling my ears and nose...
...I felt a tugging. I was being pulled back. Someone had me under the arm pits and was pulling me back. I was spluttering and breathing in some water as the person tried to keep my head above the water.
‘Just relax and let me help you,’ said a breathless voice, one I knew so well–it was Dada… Dada had come for me.
I was wanted, I was needed. I was loved. My Dada had come for me.
I stopped struggling, pleased that the voices had vanished and the only one I could hear now was that of the man I loved most in all the world–Dada.
I was tired; too tired to do anything to help him, so I just fell asleep––
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.
Previously…
I could hear my tortured voice above the noise of the wind in the trees and the fountains of the lake as I went ever closer to the water. I stopped at the edge, my mind confused, the voices were growing louder and I had to make them go away.
I stepped forward and shivered slightly as my hot, sandal-clad feet came into contact with the water.
It was cold but not icy. I felt compelled to carry on and I waded in, up to my knees, then waist and chest. The voices wouldn’t go away. It was all too much I couldn’t understand. I felt sick, disorientated and just wanted to sleep.
‘You are the Chosen One–’
‘Protect the unborn child.’
‘You are special, unique,’
‘The fate of the world rests with you…’
‘I–AM–JOHN––’
My head went under and as the water rushed over me, filling my ears and nose…
…I felt a tugging. I was being pulled back. Someone had me under the arm pits and was pulling me back. I was spluttering and breathing in some water as the person tried to keep my head above the water.
‘Just relax and let me help you,’ said a breathless voice, one I knew so well–it was Dada… Dada had come for me.
I was wanted, I was needed. I was loved. My Dada had come for me.
I stopped struggling, pleased that the voices had vanished and the only one I could hear now was that of the man I loved most in all the world–Dada.
I was tired; too tired to do anything to help him, so I just fell asleep–
And now the story concludes…
I woke up in bed with a pounding headache. It was obvious where I was–in the medical centre with that beep, beep, beep, of the monitors telling me that I hadn’t died and gone to heaven or hell yet.
When I bothered to open my eyes, I noticed I was in a room by myself. I was numb and a bit resentful that Dada hadn’t let me and the baby drown.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that I was deeply depressed. I wanted to cry, hit out at someone, anyone. Only, all I could hear was that beeping noise that was drilling into my brain. I wanted it to stop. I wanted to get up and finish off what I had started. It was all too much.
“Special one!” That was a laugh––!
I stopped thinking for a moment and felt under the bloody awful sick green hospital gown…
Yes, I still had my tiny bump. I was still pregnant. I hadn’t lost it. I was still the only person on Earth to be carrying a baby girl.
I started to cry silent tears. Why was I like this? I didn’t want to be. I wanted to be happy. I should be happy. I had found my parents again. I had a new life in me growing daily. I was safe–well relatively safe, bearing in mind the fact that the world was up the creek without a paddle.
The door opened and Doctor Eccles came in.
She approached me with a smile on her face. I couldn’t but notice the dark circles under her eyes and the fact that her hair was in serious need of treatment.
‘How are you feeling?’ she asked as she fussed about me, reading things off the monitors and generally doing what doctors do.
‘I don’t know. I feel sick still and my headache won’t go away. I…I…I want.’
It was all too much and I burst into tears.
Immediately I felt her come close and then hug me. I wasn’t sure if this was a doctor’s normal remit, but I wasn’t complaining.
After a short while, I calmed down and after wiping my face with a damp cloth, I felt a bit better.
Doctor Eccles sat down next to me while I got myself back together again.
‘Feeling better?’ she asked gently.
‘A bit–why am I having feelings like this? I was happy to have the baby and now…I don’t know.’
‘Well, I am waiting for some blood tests to come back, but it’s probably a combination of a number of factors building up to this point. You have had an extremely stressful time of it and the pressures on you to “perform” are great. It all seems to have come to a head now, when there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Things are going on in the UK which make me both excited and worried. It could go either way, anarchy or a sensible result, only time will tell, but we have to stick it out and do the best for everyone. As far as you are concerned, you need to rest, get better, take the pills that I am going to give you and talk to me as much as possible, so we can lay these demons of yours to rest. Does all that make sense?’
‘I s’pose so,’ I said not sounding too convinced, ‘so how long have I got to stay here?’
‘Until tomorrow at least, when all your test results are in. One thing that we have picked up is that you have an electrolyte imbalance, it’s a bit too low for my liking so we have to put an IV drip in you, to correct it. Also I am going to give you some medication to help stop the anxiety attacks. It’s all short term, but it will help you to feel a bit better, though the medication will make you feel a bit sleepy.’
She took some pills out of her pocket and handed them to me, making sure that I swallowed them with the rather tepid water from the glass on the bedside table.
‘Can I have my uPad?’ I asked.
‘I’ll ask the nurse to get someone to fetch it after she has sorted out your drip. Now get some rest and I’ll pop back again later.’
‘Thank you, Doctor.’ I said, smiling weakly.
‘Don’t mention it. Now lay back and have some rest. You will have no visitors for today because you must not get too excited.’
She smiled again, making her face look ten years younger and then left me to my thoughts. I just lay there staring at the ceiling. A few minutes later, a nurse entered and stuck a needle in my arm and connected it to the IV drip. It was a bit sore and scratchy, but by that time, I think the pills had kicked in and it did not bother me too much.
Without my really noticing it, the rest of the day changed into the evening. I had drifted in and out of sleep, not thinking about very much. I wasn’t bored–just pleasantly relaxed. I didn’t know what the pills were, but I was less tense and more contented than I had been for ages. I was given something to eat for supper, some sort of poached white fish and mashed potatoes and then I was settled down for the night.
Lying there in the semi darkness, I wondered vaguely what was happening in the outside world. I would have liked to have seen my parents and friends, to apologise for being such a numpty, but that would have to wait.
I must have fallen asleep again, but awoke with a start to discover Adrienne looming over me. She had just let go of the IV tube. She looked decidedly jumpy for some reason or other.
‘Oh hello,’ I said sleepily, ‘I thought that I wasn’t having visitors.’
I yawned hugely and then gazed up at her.
‘Shh,’ she said moving away from the bed, ‘I sneaked in. The nurse has gone off for her break so we have a little while.’
She sat down beside me and looked at my face. She looked troubled.
‘What’s wrong,’ I asked, ‘has something happened?’
She looked at me again and then got up and went to the door. She opened it and peeked out and then closed it again, quietly. Soon she was back by my side.
She looked at the bedside table and picked up the water jug.
‘Do you want a drink, you sound parched?’
My mouth was dry.
‘Yes please,’ I said.
She poured me the drink and handed me the glass. I noticed distractedly that her hand was shaking slightly and she had a rather tense look about her, but I was still a bit out of it from the trancs, so I wasn’t very with it.
I drank down the tepid water and my throat appreciated it, although it was a bit bitter tasting. Adrienne sat down by the bed and took hold of my hand.
‘Look, Rebecca, I need to tell you something.’
‘What?’
‘Just listen, I haven’t got much time–’
I just shrugged. I was feeling quite laid back and relaxed about things. Those pills were quite powerful–
‘Okay.’
She looked at me and took a deep breath.
‘My parents work for the government––’
‘–I know that–’
‘–please shut up. I have to be quick. I told you that I was transferred to St Clare’s, that was true. What I didn’t say was that almost from the start, I have been working for the government. I was what they called a sleeper. I was to do what I was told and ask no questions.
‘Why?’ I said, trying to concentrate, except it was getting harder.
‘Because if I didn’t my parents and little brother, Stephen would be harmed if not killed. They have been under arrest ever since I was put into that school. I was able to give the authorities information about individuals at the school–troublemakers or those who weren’t happy to be The Chosen or assimilated. I hated doing it but I had to. I had no choice.’
‘–I don’t understand–’ I said feeling even more sleepy and trying my hardest to stay awake.
She slapped my arm, making me jolt with the shock.
‘Stay awake. I need to tell you, I have to tell you.’
Her face showed a hard, scared look now. She had hurt me, my friend Adrienne had hit me–she looked very pretty though, I wished I was as pretty as her.
She paused for a moment as if she was listening and then continued.
‘I have given you something to send you to sleep so that when I inject you, you won’t know or feel a thing. They gave me it so that I could eliminate you. They said that if you lived then my family would die. I have no choice; I love them so much and little Stephen is only seven. But you are my best friend. I couldn’t kill you without you knowing how sorry I am and that I love you as a sister.’
I was hearing what she was saying, but I wasn’t paying much attention. I was so tired–vaguely I saw her take a syringe out of her bag and stand up. Tears were streaming down her face and her hand was shaking.
She came to the side of the bed and I looked at her through drooping eyelids. I couldn’t move, but there again I didn’t want to. Mind you that needle looked sharp–
She stopped for a moment and looked at me. ‘Say you forgive me–please!’
‘Why?’
‘I have to do this I have no choice!’ She shouted, and with tears streaming down her face she grabbed my arm and stuck the needle in it.
‘Ouch!
There was a noise as the door flew open.
I was looking at Adrienne’s face swimming before me. There was the sound of an explosion and her face appeared to disintegrate in a fountain of red and she fell out of sight––
I felt a sharp pain in my arm and then everything went black.
I felt remarkably fresh and without pain. The drip had gone and a plaster was over the spot where the IV needle had entered my arm.
I shook my head and remembered the strange, silly dream that I had had where Adrienne had tried to kill me. Now that was weird, as if my best friend would ever do something like that!
I discovered I was wearing a cream cotton nightdress rather than the “glamorous”–I don’t think–hospital gown I had on previously.
I sat up in bed and gazed around. There were a host of get well cards on the bedside cabinet and more on the shelves too, together with several bunches of flowers, making the room look pretty and bright.
I wanted to know what was happening, so I just pressed the button on the end of the cable by my bed and awaited developments. I was sort of hoping that someone might come in with a nice breakfast and a cup of tea. I also fancied jam sandwiches and pickled onions. My mouth watered at the prospect–
The door opened quietly and I glanced up.
‘Mummy!’
She was all smiles as she came to embrace me.
‘How are you feeling, darling?’ she asked, sitting by the bed and taking hold of my hand.
‘All right, I guess. I think that I’ve got over my pre-baby blues,’
‘Well, honey, Doctor Eccles calls it prenatal depression.’
‘Mmm, anyway, I feel much better now, more clear headed. I hated the weird dreams; some of them were rather graphic.’
She looked at me strangely. ‘What do you remember?’ she asked.
‘About what?’
‘When you weren’t feeling very well.’
‘I don’t know. I suppose it was as if a great weight was on me. Everyone expected me to be thankful and grateful for having a baby girl growing inside of me, but somehow I wasn’t for a while. Before that I was all enthusiastic and then it just changed and I couldn’t take the pressure. Then there was Bethany and Adrienne going totally over the top with their girliness and somehow I felt left out as if I had missed the hoverbus or something. Am I making sense?’
‘Yes, I think so.’
‘When can I see Dada, Beth and Adrienne?’ I asked.
‘We’ll come to that in a moment. Tell me about your dreams,’
‘I don’t want to talk about them, they were horrible.’
‘Doctor Eccles has asked me to find out about them. It will help, believe me.’
I looked around the room.
‘I suppose that she’s listening in on this?’
She smiled.
‘What do you think? You are being monitored for your own good and we need to get to the bottom of all this. Can you please tell me about the dreams?’
I took a deep breath.
‘Some of them didn’t make sense, like the one I had about my losing the baby and everyone scorning me or the other one where I woke up and I was still a boy, back at school and I turned up for class wearing a dress and was being laughed at. Others I can’t really remember, just that they upset me. The worst one was terrible. Adrienne came in and said that she was going to kill me and injected something in my arm. She kept saying sorry and that her parents were in the hands of the government, her little brother too and they were going to kill them if she didn’t do what they told her…something horrid happened and her face sort of fell apart and then it all went blank––’
My voice trailed off as I saw the expression on Mummy’s face.
‘No–NO!’
The next day, I woke up feeling more myself, although there was an empty space inside me where I still felt a great loss.
I hadn’t had any visitors but I was told by the nurse, Sally Strong, that everyone was thinking of me and wished me well. Evidently things were happening in the outside world, but I wasn’t to be told yet as I wasn’t ready.
It was frustrating that no one would tell me what was going on but I had to bide my time. I spent hours on my uPad, reading books and watching vids or playing games. Sadly, there was no ’net access which was a bit frustrating.
I was allowed to get up to go to the toilet–not wanting to use the horrid bedpans–so that was the only exercise I got. Mind you the number of times I went, defies belief! I had strange cravings for food, such as the jam sandwiches with pickles. I had heard that some pregnant women liked to eat dirt and other strange things like coal, but I wasn’t that abnormal.
Mummy and Dada came in occasionally, but they were busy. Bethany wasn’t allowed to come though as she was evidently very traumatised over recent events and needed help herself.
My pregnancy was going fine and baby hadn’t suffered from the mistreatment my body had received–I was thankful to say. She must be some tough cookie! My blood pressure was of concern though and it was thought that I should have bed rest for a while. Every day, I asked about what was happening and whether I could get up. One thing I was told was that the UK government had fallen and things were in a state of panic and disorder on the mainland.
On the fourth day, Doctor Eccles visited me. ‘Well now, Becky,’ she said, ‘you’ve been lazing about for long enough and I require the bed, so get dressed and go and see your parents in conference room 2. You have twenty minutes. I want to see you at nine o’clock sharp tomorrow morning in the clinic consulting room: wear something loose.’
She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and then went out.
I didn’t have to be asked twice, so as soon as the Doctor shut the door, I jumped out of bed and went to the closet. I put on some panties, a bra and then a white cotton peasant blouse and denim skirt with elasticised sides. I wondered when my svelte figure would return–if ever. After slipping on some black sandals, I went into the bathroom, looked ruefully at my face, noticed that my breasts were becoming balloon-like–even this early–and then brushed my hair. It desperately needed a wash, but I had no time for that. I should have done it when I had my shower earlier.
I didn’t bother much with makeup, just a smidgeon of foundation and powder and some pink lippy. Looking at myself in the mirror, I could still see that I was rather pale and anaemic, but I had no time for uber makeup so I left it at that.
I left the room and headed for the conference room, nodding and waving at people I passed.
I suddenly felt someone’s arm go through mine; looking around, I squealed.
‘Beth!’
‘Becky!’
We both sort of jumped up and down and made silly noises. She wasn’t so, shall we say, flamboyant in her dressing today, just a plane pale blue dress and minimal–for her anyway–makeup. As we ambled along I kept glancing at her. She was pale and drawn. I think that she had been through the mill too.
‘So, Becks, how are you, hon?’
‘Weak but hanging in there; you?’
‘Oh, I was let out of prison today––’
‘Prison?’
‘Well, the clinic, if you prefer. I went a bit funny after you know–Adrienne and you. I don’t know why. I wasn’t really a friend though we had become closer since she was transformed. Then she went and tried to kill you and got killed herself. I only have one cuz and I nearly lost you, and the baby too of course. Look, here we are, we’ll have a Zinga or something later. I suppose you were summoned too?’
‘Yes, I wonder what it’s all about–?’
The doors swung open and discovered the room was nearly full. There appeared to be an awful lot more people here than there used to be and I hadn’t realised it while making our way here.
We found a couple of empty seats and more people came in behind us. Rapidly, the room became packed, with many standing at the sides and the back. In front, facing us all were Mummy, Dada and Auntie Chris, together with Mariah Hepstone and a few other people I didn’t recognise.
Dada glanced up and smiled at me. He mouthed ‘later,’ then turned back to the others.
A few moments later, Mariah came out to the front and raised her hand. There was an almost immediate silence.
She cleared her throat and began to speak. ‘Thank you for coming, everybody, I wouldn’t have called you away from your work unless it was very important and this is. As from mid-day today, we have a new, interim government headed by Pia Constantine, our esteemed retired leader who has agreed to step up and take over for a while.
‘For those of you not in the loop, I’ll explain what happened. A few days ago Alysia Wellgood’s government fell. What wasn’t broadcast was that Alysia together with some of her key personnel were assassinated by her own personal guard. The army then came in under the leadership of General Bryant and has taken control until alternative arrangements can be arranged.’
There was a buzz of conversation, quickly quelled by Mariah’s raising of her hand.
‘Please let me continue. The rioting has stopped and the police force, in conjunction with the army, are now back in charge of the streets. All schools and centres for The Chosen have been suspended pending enquiries and the children have been returned to their parents unless there is a medical need for them to stay under supervision or hospitalisation.
‘The US of A and C and other countries have stepped down the level of threat and their forces are on standby on the edge of UK territorial waters. I and a number of others have been asked to go to London to help with the setting up of the government and we will be leaving shortly. The remaining members of the old government and all those who have helped keep the corrupt party in power are to be investigated and if found accountable, they will be charged with crimes against the people.
‘Other ways will be found to continue solving the female baby problem. We hope that our Becky here will be key to this, but if not we will carry on doing our best to find a solution. Pia is of the opinion that we should use only those who volunteer to be transformed and not some form of lottery or arbitrary Chosen system, but these are early days so we have to learn to walk before we can run. News is coming out of Australia that two transformed girls are pregnant with a high probability that the foetuses are female, but that is still to be confirmed–’
Mariah went on for a while about other things, but my mind dwelt on the possibility that I was not alone anymore and that, hopefully, others were would give birth to girl babies. Only time would tell.
Auntie Chris was seeing Beth too in her room, as she was going with my parents.
Mummy and Dada had tea and I a tumbler of Zinga as we sat talking for a while. There were still gaps in my knowledge as to what had happened in my hospital room and they agreed to fill me in. Dada did most of the talking while I held Mummy’s hand.
‘We had our doubts about Adrienne early on. Her parents had lost touch with the underground movement at about the time you were transferred from Overdean Boys’ School to the girls’ one. Then Adrienne somehow managed to find out the name of one of our agents at St Clare’s and offered her services. We have no idea who the leak was but that doesn’t really matter now.
‘She was taken on trust, which I think was a mistake, but as we had so few agents on the inside, we accepted her at face value. She managed to break out with some others on the night of the breakout at St Clare’s. Once again, she must have been tipped off because she was at the right place at the right time to be “rescued”.
‘We think that she spiked your drink or food before you had your breakdown. She had not been searched at the time, but after she died, we found a sizeable selection of drugs, stashed away–enough to keep even the Borgias happy. The blood test taken after your breakdown showed that your had a powerful drug in your system that compelled you to feel suicidal and led to your little one way swim. It was a crude way to try and get rid of you but that shows how desperate she–and the people who sent her–were to kill you.
‘Then she had a second chance which was easier for her. She made sure that you were alone in the clinic and decided to inject you with sodium thiopental cocktail. It is a nasty way to go and that is, we think, why she gave you a powerful sleeping draft in your water first, so you wouldn’t be in too much pain. It was a crude, botched effort which shows that she didn’t really know what she was doing and had had little or no real training. She actually had cyanide pills in her lethal stash and could have used those. Maybe she tried it that way because she wanted to relax you and explain things before she gave you the final “coup de grá¢ce”.
‘What she didn’t know was that the nurse returned to her station early, saw you both on the vid and called security. Jack Robbins, the head of security, got to your room in the nick of time and as you were being injected, took a snap decision and shot Adrienne. Luckily he managed to do that before the lethal cocktail went into your system. The fact that she was trying to inject into a muscle rather than a vein also showed her lack of proper training.’
I felt sick at the explanation and the thought of how close I and my baby had been to death. I know that Adrienne had a sort of excuse for what she did, but I do not believe in killing one person to save another.
‘What about Adrienne’s baby?’ I asked.
‘She wasn’t pregnant; it was a lie which would have been found out very quickly on examination. We believe that she was ordered to get in, do the job and get out again before she was examined by anyone.’
I smiled briefly, as Dada’s words reminded me a tongue-twister from my boy days: “the cat crept into the crypt, crapped and crept out again”. ‘Oh.’
I wondered how many other things about her were lies. Were her parents really under the control of the government or were they the ones in control? And if so, what parent would send their child on an assignment like that? I would never know, as they and Stephen were never found.
Shortly afterwards my parents left, promising to see me as soon as possible. It was a tearful farewell, but not too bad, because I knew that we would be together again quite soon.
Eventually, I had my baby girl by Caesarean section. I wasn’t around at the time of the birth, being in the land of the nod. She was eight pounds two ounces of sheer heaven. As I held her for the first time with Mummy and Dada, the proud grandparents, standing next to the bed, I was overcome with emotion. She was so beautiful; now I knew what it felt like to be a mother and it was one of the greatest moments of my life.
Things had been moving along swiftly in the outside world. The two Australian women gave birth to baby girls and there were many other instances after that. Scientists had finally been able to do something genetically to isolate the cause of the human race’s malfunction, as some toffee nosed, incredibly condescending, white coated scientist told us on the vid one day.
All this should have made me happy, but I was sad, because so many people had been changed or killed because of this. If we had left it to nature, it might have sorted itself out after all and whole families throughout the world would not have had to suffer.
They never did find out the cause of genetic change that nearly brought about the extinction of the human race and the geneticist’s just called it a blip–some blip! Even now though, we teeter on the edge. Many boys are changed into girls, just to keep things going until nature takes over.
What’s surprising is the number of boys who–without any compulsion–volunteered to be changed so that we might all survive. If Alysia Wellgood and her corrupt government had chosen that route, rather than terror, corruption and murder, perhaps they might be in power still to this day.
Just after my fourteenth birthday I was spending time with my parents and gorgeous child. Mummy and Dada were now an important part of the government, both being key heads of department in foreign and home affairs and have had little time to spend with us, so we treat times like this as something precious. Mariah Hepstone had become Prime Minister at the head of the coalition government and she kept my parents busy and that was why we didn’t see as much of them as I would like.
We were in the garden of the mansion headquarters of the old resistance on the Isle Of Man and it was a lovely hot day. I was wearing a pink strappy dress and floppy Panama hat to keep the sun off. Our puppy, Sandy, was playing with my sweet Davina, making her giggle.
I was just a mother, but not alone. Several of the transformed girls including my ditzy cousin Bethany are staying here with us and we have a house mother called Jennifer, who is quite nice but keeps us in order when we get too rowdy.
My boyfriend is Nigel MacIntyre. At 15, he is tall and handsome and I love him very much. He doesn’t know it yet, but we will be married at some stage. He loves my little girl and it’s nice to see him and little Davina getting on so well. His parents are in the Foreign Service and he is staying with us for a while; aren’t I the lucky one!
Bethany is pregnant; she doesn’t want to know the sex of the child and had artificial insemination to conceive, not wanting to have real sex with a man until she is older. Knowing how sex mad she is though, I don’t expect her to wait forever. I want to wait until Nigel and I are married. I may be a mum, but I’m old fashioned that way.
Looking back, I have come a long way in a few short years. I am happy with myself and my body. I have a wonderful family and friends and the world is getting to be a better place to live in.
I am contented.
Please leave comments…thanks! ~Sue
My thanks go to the brilliant and lovely Gabi for editing, help with the plot-lines and pulling the story into shape.