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Referral pt 11 - New complaint

Ever since my name & gender change was official, in March of this year, I have been informing various folk officially of the change. One of those was the Tavistock & Portman GIC Trust in London. When I received a "who are you" back in May I had to let them have my old and new NHS registration numbers, but they couldn't find me. Most recently I sent them the referral documentation.

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Midweek from GOC

for the last time! Well for now, i shall be back.

Its been quite an eventful month, one that i'd rather not repeat although there have been some good days, but on Friday i will be back on a bus to Brizzle. Things with father have settled down, his time in the convalescent home will depend on the physio so there is no necessity for me to stay longer, my brother should be about for visiting purposes from Friday. The other thing delaying my return south has been my back, its not right yet but i should manage the journey without too much discomfort by travel time.

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The return of raffa01...again

Well, it's been 3 years since I posted a story for through the years and two years since my last blog. Life has been busy, but I think I finally got some stuff done and wanted to post again. I looked and saw I've been on this site for over 12 years now. So what a better way than bringing out my original story and continuing it

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An era is ending

For many years me and Fiona have provided an IRC server with Ellesmera.dragonaerie.de. However, since about 6 years we have seen a steady decline in people visiting. Only spam bots found it then and when. We kept the service up, even when the network split occurred and when the chat moved to discord.
Nothing much happened there for the past 3 years, so today has been the day, I have finally switched off the IRC server. Ellesmera is no more.
It has been with us for a very long time.

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Had an interesting thing happen

So I had an interesting thing happen in March this is the first time I have thought about it since then

I was at a birthday party for my friends kid.

Her aunt started trying to tell me being trans goes against the bible.

I looked at her and told her that trans people have been around since before the pack of lies called religion and that we would be here long after then I quoted a bible verse of proverbs 4/7 talking about knowledge wisdom and UNDERSTANDING and got her to shut up

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"Duets" Now Available on Kindle -- Please Review!!!

I'm incredibly excited -- My first book is available on Kindle!!! Appropriately enough, the very first installment of Duets (then "Duet") was posted on BC almost exactly a year ago. All proceeds will go to BC, so I hope anyone who liked the story will be inspired to purchase it and give a review! :D The revised version of the first few chapters is now available on the site as a teaser.

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Well this is a new one, to me anyway

This is probably nonsense, but it is a theory I had not heard about trans folk. This is about the effect of pollution on gender.

Recent evidence indicates that phthalates from plastic and polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) are one of many factors predicting gender dysphoria, particularly in the case of male-to-female transgenders.

Polluted groundwater yields ambiguous genitalia for vulnerable species. The modern human environment is replete with substances that mimic sex hormones. Could these chemicals play a role in contemporary gender fluidity?

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I think my mom has PTSD

My mom had a tough day, as she got in the middle of a fight between 2 of her sisters.

When she came home to talk to me about it, I mentioned that one of the two has some autistic like qualities and has been like that since she was born, and somehow, that let my mom to start talking about losing her first child, the one she had before Mike and I.

Which got me thinking she might have PTSD because she talked about it not like a memory, but like she was reliving it as she spoke.

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Hello, Again

Time brings perspective. My writing process has remained consistent over the years. Once I have a decent manuscript, I set it aside to give me the perspective of a reader when I do a final edit.

In early May, things on BC seemingly became toxic for me. I had lost my rudder and needed a change in perspective. So – I took a time out.

Nothing about BC had changed to elicit the feelings I was experiencing. The fault rested with me.

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One-year anniversary with BC

So, the site tells me I have been on BC for a year and a day (Insert picture of champagne bottle here)! I’ve posted a lot of what Janet Seldon called “words ’n’ shit” over the last twelve months.

Maybe too many.

If I’ve been annoyingly eager, annoyingly enthusiastic, or just plain annoying, I apologize. There are times when I know I’ve butted up against the three golden rules, and I’m extremely sorry for that. You are a wonderful group of people, and you have been very welcoming. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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~ Personal Ask ~

Hi wonderful BCTS family!

I hope everyone has been doing as well as possible, especially if you're stuck in the parts of the world affected by the horrible heat and humidity at the moment.

I've been dealing with some not fun medical stuff, and it's making things really difficult and expensive here. I've started having seizures more often, and we don't know why just yet. I've had to take a few new meds, buy new medical equipment and severely reduce my hours I put into my on the side jobs.

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Error with my story

Okay so, I recently posted chapter 15 and 16 of my story. For some reason, however, the site glitched and made two chapter 16s, could someone please delete one of them? Preferably one that doesn't have comments. I don't see a delete option, I apologize for any inconvenience, I just don't really have anything else I can really do

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Dear Ariel Preview

I know everyone is waiting for 'Dear Ariel', but this time I'm sticking to a very strict posting schedule for a few reasons. First of all, the chapters are longer and take more time to write, so I want to stay 2-3 weeks ahead so I don't run myself into the ground. Second, the editing takes time, and thirdly, I'm chronically depressed and sometimes need to go outside and scream at the ocean. I live in Michigan though so...there's no ocean.

In any case, there are a lot of Ariel scenes in Dear Ariel, but today I'm going to share a Rylee scene with you. Enjoy

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Double Date Dare Reviews Please!

Heya folks!

I'm officially pubbed through DopplerPress now!

As of last week, my first book released through Doppler is live: Double Date Dare!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C95Q24LD

So far, we've only gotten one rating and review on it though! So, if you've purchased it (or do,) and have read and enjoyed the book, I'd love it if you would consider leaving a rating and review of it.

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is it just me or did 9 years plus of my stories get wiped out?

is it just me or did 9 years plus of my stories get wiped out?

I just logged in to check a plot or 2 the fastest way I know how and each one of my stories I checked is ZERO words?

is anyone else seeing that?

cause I don't know if I have it in me to days of reposting all of the over again!

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I bought a PTSD emegency support plushie

Okay so yesterday, my PTSD got so bad, that while I was shopping with Sharon and Sam, I bought a plush toy to act as my emergency support helper.

She is a beholder (From D&D), and yes, she is in fact pink.(was there a question about that?_

Anyway she did a good job, but now, she needs a name.

Any suggestions?

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Beware Phishing

If you use PayPal, as some of us do to help fund this site, please be careful about phishing. I spotted an exceptionally well-crafted attempt where the second “a” of “PayPal” was replaced by the IPA schwa symbol: depending on font, nearly indistinguishable without keen eyes.

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Hatbox still short, funds needed end of month

We're short, for various reasons. In fact, we have about $90 in accounts with bills coming in.

In the meantime, we need some cash.

Thanks for any help you can send. All contributions are very welcome. Thanks a great deal to all who have already contributed or paid for a membership at Patreon or Hatbox.


Many thanks!

Paypal contributions come straight to our accounts.

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took Sam to the airplane museum

So today I took Sam (and Sharon and Mom) to the local airplane museum.

Sam had an amazing time, she found it so fascinating, especially with my mom providing bits of personal history (my step dad was a pilot, my dad was an air traffic controller, and my grandfather drove a tank in WW II)

All in all, a pretty good day.

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Whateley Academy……..

I have been trying to get into the Whateley Academy site, or the Crystal Hall site, to read a few of the stories I haven’t read in years.

Unfortunately, I am unable to get in. I can’t remember my old account, so I tried to create a new one - but it keeps telling me my account has either been locked or has not yet been verified.

When I try to recover my user name or password, I get a message that I will get an e-mail with a code - but I never get the e-mail.

Any suggestions from anyone?

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Gaby and the Tyrannosaurus

I only just realised that this was only a link to an external site which no longer seems to exist and as I had the story on a pen drive I quickly edited it and have posted it as new story. Apologies to those who have already read it but it's probably worth a second one. I have met James Cracknell and he really is dishy. (Didn't wash my hand that had shaken his for a couple of days!)

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I have cat scratch fever!

I thought my problems with fatigue and everything else was Covid related, but it turns out I have cat scratch fever, and all of my symptoms match the common symptoms for that. I have started medication for it, and I'm feeling better every day. Cat scratch fever is fairly rare, and in most cases resolves itself, but with my weakened immune system, I have apparently been fighting it for some time now. It can be very serious if untreated for long periods of time, but I have no symptoms of it having reached that point.

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Meetups in Canada in July?

After enjoying the regular Sunday afternoon/evening Zoom chats hosted by Wendy Jean, I got to thinking that my trip to Canada in July could be an opportunity to meet with a few BCTS members. My main reason for the trip is a conference regarding the use of [Mennonite] Low German in media and the process of documenting and formalizing the grammar and orthography, as well as developing the corresponding writers utilities as open source software tools. This conference is scheduled for 12-14 July in Aylmer, Ontario. I will have some down-time on the Saturday and Sunday.

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Holiday time!

I'm off on vacation on Saturday. Last year, I went to Norway and rode my motorcycle as far as the Arctic Circle. At the time, I regretted not going all the way to North Cape (Nordkap : 71.168032N, 25.781857E)
Well, this year, I'm hoping to rectify that and going right to the top and then returning through Finland.

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Very balanced article in Observer/Guardian

There is at least one balanced view on the recent hysteria of transwomen invading women-only spaces, this is well written article quoting evidence to support her view that trans women are likely to be more vulnerable and to have received more abuse than cis gendered women and that instead of being exclusive we should all be supporting each other to protect ourselves from predatory men, which isn't a diatribe against men, just those who abuse and murder all types of women and vulnerable groups.

Do read it, it's really good stuff.

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Freebie’s for this week on Amazon

I skipped a freebie week, so we’re once again doing a double up:

The e-books for: “Are You Happy” and “Desert Rose” will be free for this week from Amazon.

Are You Happy” is kind of a depressing delve into the madness mind of Stephen Thomas and his “guardians’: the Elvin princess Ayle and a grim reaper-in-training who never makes it, “Skully”. The reader is asked to ponder if they’re a part of Stephen’s broken psyche or if they indeed exist.

Caution: 

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A Preview of Things to Come

Heya folks!

I've been trying to help out with some formatting and the like for DopplerPress books, and I just wanted to share some of my excitement for what we've got in the pipeline with everyone. However, rather than just TELLING you what's coming down the way, I thought it would be more fun to make you guess!

So, here's the deal:

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Trying to find a story

Ok all try again to be more detailed boy works hard at school to get extra time off over Christmas vacation and goes to visit friends or family in florida starts dressing as a girl think there are two sisters
Works as a elf or a Christmas show can't remember which
Also meets some wealthy boys and there father and at some time gets involved in something illegal and gets on the news as he helps get the bad guys cought when he returns home decides to live as a girl and is sort of popular because of being on the news

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Dear Rylee Update 6/16/23

With just a few chapters until the end of 'Dear Rylee' I feel I owe readers an explanation for what happened in today's chapter. When this happened to me in real life, there were a lot of thoughts feelings, and emotions that I couldn't adequately put on paper, so I sort of had to fudge the truth a little.

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Movies that hurt…but in a good way.

There are movies that hurt, but in a good way. These movies stay with us for years to come. Yet everytime we watch them we cry yet again.

These are some that instantly come to mind.

The black hole- death of bob.

Star Trek the motion picture- when Kirk and Scotty show us the new rebuilt enterprise for the first time.

Field of dreams - while the whole movie is well done the end just kills me.

Titanic.

Galaxy quest- the beginning of this movie hurts.

The wraith- car movie totally but the end hurts.

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Alien Invasion, Salt Lake City

Some time after around 2000 I read a long story with perhaps several chapters, and I have been searching to revisit it without success. The search function is usually helpful but not on this one. It involves a "Hitler" style invasion and part of the story is set in the Salt Lake City area. I thought the Author was Penny Reed Cardon.

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Rylee Update - June 13

Hi Everyone!

We're getting very close to the end of Dear Rylee, and I while I realize that most of you are wondering if she survives the next chapter, I'll remind you that it's an autobiography, and I'm right here :P That being saiiiiiddd I want to thank everyone for sticking with the story in spite of typos, subpar writing, and literal mental breakdowns from me every thirty seconds. Though, admittedly, I've improved quite a bit since The Mockreet, and even more since my doctor prescribed Prozac(which is working well, by the way).

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Looking for a story yet again, please

I don’t remember all of it, though I know the kindle add is or had at one point been here.

The kid has a backpack on.

A I believe a teenager is either kicked out or runs away. Due to sexual abuse by father/stepdad.

Lives nearby secretly in the woods/forest in a treehouse

Rescues sister from same fate

Reunion with I believe mother only for her to be killed moments later.

Neighbour/s help the child/ren.

That’s about all I remember, it’s really bugging me.

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disturbed by a dream

So last night, I had a rough dream, and I'm still struggling to shake it.

In the dream, I was at university, and I was being bullied by this guy. So I followed him to his home, and coldly threatened his family if he didn't leave me alone.

Now if I had just lost my temper and maybe hit him, it would be bad, but somehow this calculated anger was much worse.

And like I said, I haven't been able to shake the dream all day, maybe in part because I'm in the depressed end of my bipolar cycle.

Anyway, I'm looking for huggles, if anybody has some to spare.

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Air "Quality"

Life is currently proceeding slowly here. Silly me, I forgot to wear a mask when mowing my back yard last week. The dust and pollen I stirred up gave me a persistent case of bronchitis. The Canadian smoke isn't bad in this area, but is adding to the ozone and continuing pollen attack. I feel for the two crews putting on roofs in my neighborhood.

Fortunately, the lack of rain means the grass isn't very high yet, except in a couple of places. Hopefully, I won't have to mow again for a while.

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In Search of Jennifer Adams

I don't know how many people are aware, but I'm trying to help Ms. Joyce with some things involving the site. Part of that help includes organizing new authors and/or books to come out on Doppler.

Well, we have a great writer lined up to join the ranks of those we've helped get published, but there's one problem: one of her stories, quite an excellent one, that she wants to publish uses the Altered Fates/Medallion of Zullo universe.

And thus, the rights game begins!

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Looking For A Story

I'm looking for a story I started to read a few years ago. I don't remember the name of the story nor the name of the author.
What I do remember is this:
There was a brother and sister, The sister was a model at the local race track. There were two models at this race track. One of the models had to quit for some reason. The sister of this story talked her brother into becoming her partner in the modeling at this race track, The owner didn't care as long as the brother looked good as a model.
The brother looked good,

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Always and Forever now complete

Good morning! I know there are readers who prefer not to start a multi-part series until it’s finished, so I wanted to let all of you now that Always and Forever is done. Eighteen chapters over eight installments, but the word total is around 45,000, so it’s not a long read. Enjoy!

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Unaccounted Gains

I finally finished a different writing project over the weekend so today I started work on UG5. At the moment the working title is ....{redacted}.... There's a few thousand words down so far and if my muse is going to stay on good form then I may have this book with my proofreaders in about a month!

Meanwhile I will shortly start to serialise UG3 Diminishing Returns

There are plenty of ideas for new Tammy at the moment but no new words as yet.

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People in Real Life

I've only just finished reading "Changing Roles" By Julie D. Cole, and found it riveting in the Literary sense. The last chapter available (# 32) was recently released on BCTS and I have been hoping for more soon. I was searching for other of her works on the general Internet and found an English Author of the same name, though have not found other published writings. It seems as if her husband is an Author and then the trail grows cold.

Hoping for more work from her soon.

Gwen

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First You Grow Old

Then your health fails. In my case that means my attention falters. This is extracted from a reply to an author I was trying to get some updates from. The author decided to be a smartass in reply.

I've been undergoing treatment for heart failure, and my attention to BC has faltered. Thankfully my shoebox of medications, for that as well as chronic major depression is sorting things out so I am getting back to (semi) normal. Still got some major heart tests to run that might throw a monkey wrench in the works, but we'll find out when we find out.

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Ladies Get toGether this Sunday

I’m inviting you to my weekly Sunday Zoom meeting. Only trans women are invited. If you have an invite feel free to invite others I include a link to my local time standard so that you might match it up to yours, Some of the ladies in the past are from Great Britain and Germany. Most of them are writers who post stories on a Big Closet Top Shelf though that this is no way a requirement.

To help identify the meeting time with your time zone use this link:
https://www.time.gov/

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encouraged - and then discouraged - by my dreams

Okay so last night I had a pair of dreams that were about as opposite as you could get.

In the first one, I was part of a group of people trapped inside a cave complex. I was steady and sure, I gave people jobs to do, and I encouraged everyone.

In short I was the kind of person I wish I was more often in real life.

Then in the second dream, I was at a large gathering. Things were going okay until some of the kids (in the dream I was clearly a kid as well), decided to go inside to play, leaving me outside.

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Clinical Depression

I've got a meeting next week with a Psychiatrist and I am very afraid. I'm pretty sure that she will try to get me back on Psychotropic Medications again and the prospect is chilling to me. From about 2002 until 2007 I was on drugs that really messed me up and I believe caused me to lapse into Suicidal Ideation several times. In my opinion Psychatric folk are egotistical and can act without good reason.

Caution: 

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ideas about my bipolar condition

I had an idea about my bipolar condition.

I think it is kind of the foundation for my other issues.

What I mean by that is that if for example I'm struggling with PTSD, whether I'm manic or depressed at the time will affect what symptoms I will have, and what strategies might help me get through it.

I think that means that I am going to have to try and be aware of where I am on my bipolar cycle whenever another issue is present, or I may not be as successful in coping.

Still got lots of work to do, I guess.

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Looking for a story

I looking for a story. Here is what I remember about it.

The story involves superheros/mutants.
The main charactor is a mutant with what he considers a minimal power.
His power is to taste/read any DNA around him.
His granddaughter is in a coma (accident?)
He becomes a female to rebirth his granddaughter.

I would appreciate any help in finding this story.

Thank you,
Rachel

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Today’s word is . . . mattress.

Sesame Street used to have a segment where they would say the the episode was brought to you by a letter of the alphabet, and would do all sorts of goofy things involving that letter (See, for example, the Beatles take-off, “Letter B.” Words of wisdom, sure enough).

So, today’s blog post is brought to you by the word “mattress.” There are lots of things that can be said about mattresses, and probably no small number have actually been said, in stories posted on this very site. Why, mattresses figure in lots of plot lines. Some, quite prominently.

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No Challenge or Contest for June, sorry folks!

I know this probably comes as no surprise to anyone, but at this point I have to make it official:

There's not gonna be a contest or challenge for June.

I have a really cool idea for one, but I'll hold on to it for next year (since I really want it to be special.) Things are just a bit too up in the air right now on a lot of things, and I've been kinda out of it because of that.

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Mystery Injuries

Today, I found a fairly large scratch on my lower right leg, and as occasionally if not often happens, I have no idea how it happened.

I feel like maybe I should use the technique lepers use - Visual Survey of Extremities - in case I had seriously hurt myself without knowing.

I honestly don't know what else to do.

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Dear Ariel and Beyond

Patreon and Something about the Mockreet

Okay first, I'm going to cover some of the commentary I made. Yes, I get angry when people Kudo but don't respond because I literally have no idea how I'm doing, or if anyone actually likes it. I spend a lot of time thinking out scenes and in the end, I have no idea if they were good, bad, or something in between. I mean, there was an entire chapter of The Mockreet that I planned for months and-

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