Marvelous Gadgets

Blonde Joke-22

Blonde Joke
Chapter Twenty-Two
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Can you name some of the inventions blondes have developed?
1. Tricycle kickstand.
2. Solar flashlight.
3. Fire proof matches.
4. Inflatable dartboard.
5. Glass hammer.
6. Black light bulb.
7. Boomerang grenade.

Netherworlds - Chapter 11

Netherworlds had a lot of different races, as well as the ability to decide on a dungeons-and-dragons type alignment, which determined what quests were available and who you could group with. Liara, Taur’othen, Gorokka, Brynhilda, and the rest of Dyslexics Untied (our guild) were Neutral Good, which as far as I can tell is basically obeying the law but only if people are watching, and trying to help people as much as possible. Chaotic evil guilds were so common that it tended to make world Player vs. Player combat really imbalanced, because Chaotic Evil is going around slaughtering stuff not paying attention to what people THINK, and because you’re chaotic you’re allowed to kill pretty much anyone that you don’t have loyalties to, and sometimes people that you do.

Netherworlds

Chapter 11

By Taveena

Blonde Joke-07

Blonde Joke
Chapter Seven
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde,
and a smart blonde are walking down the street
when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?

The dumb blonde. There’s no such thing as
Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, or a smart blonde.

Blonde Joke-05

Blonde Joke
Chapter Five
by Jeffrey M. Mahr

 

How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three. One to mix the dough and two to sort the M&Ms to remove the “W”s, “E”s and “3”s.

Project Phoenix Part 1

Project Phoenix Part 1

By Meg

Kevin Barnett, a renowned investigative reporter, has been pursuing conspiracies since the beginning of his career. One evening he accidentally stumbles upon one so big, he needs to enlist the help of an FBI agent, Hannah Fox, to attempt to crack it. Together they set off to investigate a secret installation, one of many being built all over the country. What they find inside will change Kevin's life. Just not in the way he expected.

Netherworlds - Chapter 10

We walked through an area that wouldn’t have looked out of place at the Berlin Wall during WWII, through another area that had HOLOGRAPHIC LANDMINES (I was so freaked out when I saw that explosion hit Mike) before passing through another place with HOLOGRAPHIC MISSILES. They were really having a field day with the holograms, as the holographic guards with holographic AK-47s shooting holographic bullets at holographic escapees showed. It… just… I mean, when did they even develop this kind of thing? It was so bloody over the top that I wouldn’t be surprised if they released ARMOURED TYRANNOSAURUSES with LASER CANNONS.

Netherworlds

Chapter 10

By Taveena

Elan Owen 2: Watch Out Here I Come - Chapter 0

There comes a time in every story when it must begin... so, in the immortal words of Rhino the Hamster "LET IT BEGIN!"

elan_title.jpg

Chapter Zero: Enter the Duction

Netherworlds - Chapter 9

The place was surrounded with security cameras, barbed wire, there were a couple of armed guards, and it looked more like a prison than a school.
Stupid goddamn foreshadowing. I wish I hadn’t been right.

Netherworlds

Chapter 9

By Taveena

To Shape One's Life - 2

TO SHAPE ONE'S LIFE
Part 2 of 4

by Jeffrey M. Mahr

A tree cannot grow in the sky,
nor clouds be in the sea, nor fish live in the fields,
nor can blood be in sticks nor sap in rocks.

-- Titus Lucretius Carus<

From Fire, From Ice

From Fire, From Ice

fire-ice.jpg

By Jaye Michael

Be thou chaste as ice, pure as snow,
thou shalt not escape calumny.
– William Shakespeare
Hamlet, III, i, 142

 

Day One

    Desolate but breathtaking, that’s how Charlie Dawson always described the Alaskan tundra. After completing his residency in General Medicine, he had fled joyously back to the land of his youth. Others had twisted and fought like salmon at the end of a hook only to be slowly reeled back into the bosom of the state that had covered the huge loans incurred by eight or more years of study and training. For some reason, the State of Alaska expected them to practice in the “Land of the Midnight Sun” or immediately reimburse the state for its costs–with interest and stiff penalties.

Netherworlds - Chapter 7

This wasn’t actually the first time nanites had been a terrorist threat - some Islam terrorist group had been trying to release a variation of GDD.
All it did was convert people into corpses. By eating their brains. Nanozombies. Urgh…

They wiped out the threat with massive a massive EMP - electro-magnetic pulse. Huge success. Nanobots all wiped out. No deaths. Pretty much a first for the US. *giggle*

After GDD, they tried the EMP solution.

It… didn’t work.

Netherworlds

Chapter 7

By Taveena

The Book

As the awesome Klontarfian Empire prepares to conquer Earth, their terrifyingly new techo-weapon slips into the hands of a six year old girl who simply wants to turn her brothers into fairy tale heroines ...

Netherworlds Chapter 3

And it started again. Nikolosandwhichev looked on in alarm as I spasm’d about. Sarah jumped up, looking alarmed. Alarm, I thought. That’s a word. Like Clock. And Peanut. Peanut clock. Peanut butter jelly time.

My brain had gone kinda insane trying to deal with the pain. While contemplating on whether Hitler’s moustache was actually the barcode for a brand of chinese razor, my bones ground against each other. I was insanely hungry too - it felt like my stomach was boiling. A couple of bits of stomach acid went up my throat. My balls felt like they’d been kicked in. My penis felt like it was being used for a slingshot. And my chest just plain felt weird. The spasm kept going, even as Nikefootwearmanchev went and got another… nurse… or doctor…

Netherworlds

Chapter 3

By Taveena

The BIGMAMA Project

After a long barrage of interviews and tests, a very special employee is about to be invited to join The Mystery Team, and will soon discover first hand the details of the project they've been keeping so secret.

The BIGMAMA Project
Copyright 2009 by Heather Rose Brown
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Heavenly Joint

Heavenly Joint

“Come on Lucifer, your falling behind. We have to finish creating these souls. It’s almost time for them to be born.”

“I’m hurrying as fast as I can Mike. The soul O’matic is just not as fast as it used to be. It’s been acting up lately so I put in a call to Heavenly Maintenance.”

“Give me a break, Lucifer. You’d get more work done if you didn't take a break every 5 minutes.”

Becoming Antonia Part 26.

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Warning, the following chapter contains very technical writing. You have now been warned, and I don't want any comments or PM's about that fact. ENJOY the chapter for what it is. A STORY!

Becoming Antonia Part 26.

Written by Toni Trepasso
Edited by Holly Logan, with my many thanks to her.

Halloween Tricked and Treated

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Before we start, there are 2 things I'd like to say. 1)Stories of my demise are grossly exagerated. 2) If you are not supposed to be reading this story,(you know whou you are) then please turn of your computer and go tell your parents that you were a bad boy/girl...... Now, GET ON WITH IT!!!!

Halloween Tricked and Treated

Written by Toni Trepasso

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