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How do you get your muse to stop prodding you about a story idea that shouldn't be told? Every so often my writing goes to a dark place, but I've got a story concept stuck in my head that's unwriteable, and I can't figure out how to make my subconscious shut up about it.
Warning! What folllows is a description of an offensive story.
Here's the concept: it's sort of a noir tale told from the point of view of a police detective, who one day has this gorgeous woman come in. she's dressed to the nines, looks to be somewhere in her late twenties to early thirties, but with society dames like that you can never tell what with facelifts and botox and everything. She says she has information about a kidnapping. The detective looks up the case and it's about a four-year-old boy who was abducted ten years ago. She explains that she's pretty sure she is that boy.
So far, it seems like a pretty good hook, which is why I'm having trouble dispelling the concept.
However the meat of the story is that the boy was abducted by a sick pedophile who gave him hormones to keep him sexy, but when he started getting too girlish he gave her growth hormones to prematurely age her, and had her pretend to be his wife. But he really wasn't into adult women, so he shows up one day with a baby boy for her to raise, and the baby grows to be almost old enough for him to start playing with, and that's when she goes to the cop.
It's the details that make it unwriteable. To really convey what she went through, the story would come too close to being child abuse-porn. Plus as a noir there has to be a hint of romance between the cop and the damsel, but she's really underage so he has to suppress it - I could make her older, but it loses the aspect of a child in an adult body trying to cope. The writeable part of the story would deal with her trying to reconnect with her family while losing her child, and the toddler being taken away from the only mommy he knows, but it doesn't seem like that can really be described without showing the reasons why she feels the way she does.
I say, go for it
Write it, and put your muse to rest. Just because you write it, doesn't mean you have to share it; and who knows? maybe once you've written it, there will be parts that will inspire a different story. Or you'll find a way to present the original in a different way.
I agree with Misty, get it
I agree with Misty, get it written then either sanitize it for publishing, lock it away or burn it.
Megumi :)
Bailey's Angel
The Godmother :p
I am confident in you, dear heart...
...you will find a way, if it is your intent, to write this in a way that satisfies all of your concerns. I have complete trust that your sensitivity to the subject will allow you to craft this in such a way as to bring attention to the subject while creating a fine tale, as you always do. My best regards and thanks for continuing to bless us with great stories.
She was born for all the wrong reasons but grew up for all the right ones.
Possa Dio riccamente vi benedica, tutto il mio amore, Andrea
Love, Andrea Lena
Graphic Details.
It isn't always necessary to describe a picture in detail to get across its meaning.
Write it out how your muse likes it... then be cruel in your editing to make it descriptive enough without being gory.
nobody.
One approach
Start by writing the present day portion (i.e. from the arrival at the police station onwards), then cover the 'back story' through summarising what happened to the police. Just as in reality, the vast majority of the terror and torture would go untold, but only enough to give them the gist of what happened, the same would apply here. (N.B. you could possibly write the 'back story' in more detail to provide a reference to refer to from the main story - but for obvious reasons leave it unpublished!)
Since you want to concentrate on the 'present day' aspect anyway, you don't need to go into tremendous detail on exactly what the kidnapper did during the ten years of captivity or go into detailed flashbacks.
As for the toddler, inevitably social services would need to take on the cases of both children (if I understand it correctly, although the protagonist looks 30ish s/he's actually only about 14-15), but presumably if the toddler hasn't been abused yet (which would obviously be confirmed through medical examination and questioning by social workers / psychs), then the protagonist may be able to apply for something like an interim care order - allowing temporary custody subject to regular monitoring by social workers. They may routinely get a bad press for either leaving a child with abusive parents or removing a child from doting parents on spurious grounds, but perhaps the pain of the story could be lessened if the social workers in your story were actually on the ball and acted in the best interests of both children?
Needless to say, there's also the police angle to cover - do they pick up the kidnapper? Find any incriminating evidence at his home? Put him on trial? Is the protagonist required to testify? Does s/he?
--Ben
As the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body, then only left-handers are in their right mind!
Specifics ...
... aren't always (or even ever) necessary in a story to convey details of either sexual or horrific acts. Supply clues, implications, innuendo and suggestion and the readers' imaginations will do the rest. In fact writing it that way promotes a stronger story because the readers imagine their own greatest fears rather as Orwell did in '1984'. Winston Smith is never told what horrors lie in wait in room 101 because in his heart, he already knows.
Your brief synopsis has many possibilities in the telling if you're positing powerful medications that don't actually exist right now. Go for it, I say. Nobody has to read it.
Robi
Go to the Edge, But No Over
Some of the best and most gripping horror scenes are those that take place off scene. You can hint at something, going all the the way to the edge, but not over. Example;
---------------------------------------------
With the social worker in tow, Officer Pavloski entered the small room where the girl sat with her arms held tightly against her chest and her head bowed, staring at the floor. "Rachel, can you tell me what happened when the man took you into the house?"
Rachel said nothing as she continued to stare at an imaginary spot on the floor.
"Rachel, did the man touch you?" the social worker asked.
With an almost Imperceptible nod, the girl answered.
"Where did he touch you?" she asked.
Glancing up through her lashes, the girl looked into the social workers eyes but for a moment before looking down into her lap.
Barely able to control his rage, Pavloski turned to the social worker. "Now do you have enough evidence to take her out of what you people call a home?"
-------------------------------------------
Bottom line, you can leave a lot to the reader's imagination. After all, no one ever saw Janet Leigh get stabbed in the movie Psyco, did they?
Nancy Cole
"You may be what you resolve to be."
T.J. Jackson
I agree with much of what was suggested, Jennifer
The readers imaginations are a powerful tool, use it.
You have done it before with disturbing scenes/topics such as in While Sleeping Beautified. You gave just enough detail to let us know the horror but weren't excessively graphic to about it. It can be done in a tasteful manner.
Doing the childhood scenes as flashbacks of hers as she describes her torments to the detectives or as her answering detectives questions is okay, just be careful as too many flashbacks can become confusing or even annoying.
If need be use test readers you trust. They can give you perspective.
Remember, the readers need motivations, the *whys* behind the actions of key characters. Also why does she look upper twenties/over thirty despite being 14? I can see the sex hormones and growth hormones would make her body the size and shape of an adult female but that old? Or did the stress, special surgeries etc give her the appearance of some modest aging on top of her build and curves?
Is it simply how she dreses, does her make-up and acts that makes her seem that age, IE this is a lingering effect of her *traibing*, IE brainwashing? And was SRS done on her? How complete is her transformation? And most of all why? Why her? How will her family react if any are alive? Why ... period?
Sounds like quite a story, go for it.
John in Wauwatosa
John in Wauwatosa
Stay Between the Lines. . .NOT
Where did you find the rules regarding what is appropriate and what isn't?
If your muse is prodding you to tell a story, by all means go for it.
There is no right way and wrong way to tell the stgory you're describing. Stop a minute and think if som of the Grim(m) Fairy Tales. If we were to analyze them as "children's" stories we would get out the pitchforks string those lousy bastards from the nearest elm.
I say write it. Write it so horribly graphic that your heart breaks with every word. Then decide if you want to post it. When you do post it give your readers fair warning as to content.
Most who write here forget one simple fact. Almost everything that is posted here would be considered porn by someone. When we start drawing lines in the sand the effort becomes highly arbitrary. If you're worried and can't make a decision, send the story to Erin and tell her your concerns. She is an excellent source for making such a determination.
I just finished reworking an old story of mine . . . Residue. I wrote it because I wanted to write a forced fem story that shows the evil of abusing a child by displaying what happens to one such person later on in life. I received a lot of negative comments here and on other sites because it wasn't my usual story and the readers felt cheated. Quite a number of people told me they couldn't read it after they got through the first few pages.
Why did they even start given the story description I posted?
I still think it is an important story.
If you think your story is important -- go for it.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
There's a problem here
My first instinct was to say "write it and be damned" as well, but we must all remember there are consequences to every action.
Angela has hit the nail on the head when she says that everything (everything?) written here could be considered porn by someone, for varying values of porn.
The big problem is that certain values of porn (or what people might think is porn) are considered illegal in various jurisdictions. There are rules associated with posting on this site, and I like to think that everyone who does so understands them and abides by them.
Even so, there are stories posted here I personally won't read, since I consider them very near the child abuse/paedophile boundary and they make me squirm. I might not read the proposed story, but that is not the problem.
We must protect the site at all costs. I'm sure Erin and Co. do a fine job of ensuring that material which might be questionable (by someone) doesn't get onto the site, but they can't read everything and there is always the chance that something might get missed.
So, if you write this story, please consider the overall picture. If someone can find something to use as a weapon to get this site blacklisted or even shut down, then someone will, count on it. I consider this site to be more important than any single piece of fiction it contains.
Penny
I Agree with Penny
Penny is right about protecting the site. You seem to be sensitive to the issue so I assume you will error on the side of safety. Also I assume you will follow my advice about sending it to Erin for comment if you have a question.
I quit posting to FM because of the kind of stories that have been posted there. I didn't want my stories surrounded by what I was seeing there. Likewise for Crystal's. Crystal's own stories are wonderful, but a lot of what is posted there lately crosses the line for me.
Again -- what is porn and what isn't is highly personal. First write it -- then decide.
John Irving recently said on public radio that he writes the last sentence of his novels first. He said the last twelve novels he's written have been done that way. When you decide what your last sentence will be you might find what you're worried about isn't needed to support that conclusion.
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
Angela Rasch (Jill M I)
is there such a thing?
Some would argue so I'm sure, but a story is still a story no matter what it looks at. A journal of abuse, descriptive and detailed is not the same thing. I agree with the others, write it as it comes to you and then look at it carefully. You're good enough to use descriptions and words that walk around it and look, show the feelings and results without detailing the actual actions. I thought of a few scenes just prompted by your outline that show the fear and pain without going near the act.
Graphic is usually tedious because there is no imagination to give it real feeling. Less is mostly more but sure, give enough hints people will be disgusted if they feel empathic, that's partly the point after all. Evil and horror exist and should be looked at now and again I think. I'm not a big fan of censorship in general so don't not do it just because it's nasty, but do tread carefully. Give fair warning and then it's a case of read it if you wish to and even if you don't like it that doesn't mean it should not be. Sometimes we need to acknowledge the darkness so we can be more aware of the light.
Kristina
Let's look at it from a science nerd's point of view.
Sorry about this, but it's probably better now than after you write the story and I bring it up in a comment. 8)
If the child hasn't stopped growing, humyn growth hormone will just make er taller. Excess estrogen, however, (and body fat might play a role in this, I don't know) can cause bones to stop growing, stop normal HGH production, and cause the end caps of the bones to mature and harden so no more long bone growth is possible. This happens to many girls, who might seem to have "tall genes", looking at their parents, but instead have early and large breast growth and don't get any taller. Yeah, I'm thinking about my daughter and her birthmom; must be from birthmom's dad's side of the family.
After this point, excess HGH will cause acromegaly; bone growth at joints, chin, brow ridges, etc. This is often seen in extremely tall people of either sex, who have giantism and acromegaly because of continued HGH overproduction, such as from a pituitary tumor.
Just claim that a new underground drug was used, like it was produced to be like ecstasy, but found to cause aging as a side effect. Alternatively, use a native drug from a little know tribe from some jungle or rainforest.
I have no idea how to write your or any story. All the other advise, especially from authors, is probably good. I have no idea!
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee
write part of it first and second person than...
put part of the story in police reports, some of the story in trial reports, and the majority of the story as reports/stories in various tabloids
Fourteen
I have a problem with your character's age and timeline. The whole artificial-aging thing is a tough bit to swallow. I think it would be more realistic if you aimed at maybe a 17 to 19 year-old who passed for her early to mid 20's. Maybe abducted longer ago than 10 years, or at a later age.
And, as others have said, you don't have to get into the paedophilic details of the story. You could handle it as a noir detective story with the crimes referred to, but not fully described. It's still chilling.