Some posts not relevant to Cathy's appeal for advice were removed from the thread.

I didn't like doing that and I'm willing to discuss it in PM with the author of the sub-thread. They're not gone for good, I'll put them back in a week or so. Someone got a little hot and I tried to cool things and it didn't work. Usually, if I remove something, I put it back later when things have cooled off.

I don't really have rules for making comments on blogs. Be polite, try to be relevant or funny. Try not to insult the people who run the site in public. If some comment makes you angry, don't assume it was deliberately aimed at you or your beliefs. Those aren't rules, just suggestions.

Seriously, if someone has a problem with me or one of my assistants (all of whom have very limited responsibilities and are usually acting just as themselves and not as an extension of my policies), please, send me a PM or an email before posting a public complaint.

Why? Well, a public complaint about my policies is likely to turn into a flamewar because a lot of people will automatically jump in to defend me, whether I'm right or wrong.

And I can be wrong. I'm not perfect. I don't even try to be, I just aim to be as good at what I'm doing as I know how. And I'm willing to correct policies that may be in error. But I'm not willing to tolerate ambush public insults aimed at me or those policies, not because they hurt me but because they hurt the site and the purpose of the site. So send any angry comments in a PM to me first.

After you've PM'd me and let me respond, go ahead and post your complaint -- on your own thread, not someone else's, please. If it blows up, I'll remove it, because this site is not about hot angry discussions, it's about stories.

That's what this is all about. A place to post stories and talk about them, and maybe, just a little, a community site where people who need help, or advice, or just reassurance can ask for that.

I've got more to say on this topic but I'll save it for another time.

Hugs to all,
Erin