Angharad and the Genie

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Angharad and the Genie
by Ray Drouillard

Angharad was busy pounding out chapter 1,327 of Bike when, in a puff of smoke, a genie appeared. "I have come to grant thee three wishes," sayeth the genie.

"I don't recall rubbing any bottles, but who am I to argue?"

"That's old news," said the Genie. "We had to switch from oil lamps to bottles when electricity was invented, and now we're experimenting with things like cell phones, MP3 players, and keyboards. So, what'll it be, toots?"

Angharad thought for only a second or two. "The first is a no-brainer. I want to be a real girl with strong legs for biking, and eternal health and beauty."

There was a puff of smoke, and it was done. Angharad stood there, resplendant in her biker's kit, with a long pair of sensuous curvaceous legs that just wouldn't quit.

She walked to the full-length mirror that was set into the door next to her computer, and spent some time inspecting her new body.

"All right, enough of the self appreciation stuff, miss Narcissus," said the genie. "What's your next wish? I haven't got all day! I've got partying to do."

Jarred out her reverie, our dear girl Ang mused for a moment, then said, "Well, this having to go to work every day kind of cramps my style. I'd like a nice portfolio of investments and bank accounts spread around the world that will yield me a couple million pounds a year in dividends."

There was another puff of smoke, and Angharad felt a slight tingling in her head. She suddenly knew dozens of account numbers from various Swiss and other offshore banks, stocks, negotiable bonds, and even the location of some buried treasure.

"That was easy enough, and quite predictable," said the genie. "What'll it be now, babycakes?"

As Angharad was thinking, Bonzi walked up and started rubbing against her new, oh so delicious legs.

"Bonzi has been my faithful companion through thick and thin, and has kept me from loneliness. I wish for him to be turned into my handsome prince, so that we can love each other forever."

"Done!" said the genie, as he disappeared in a puff of smoke. Where Bonzi had been stood a handsome man with jet black hair and green eyes. Ang melted as he wrapped his his muscular arms around her and kissed her deeply.

Bonzi picked her up and laid her upon the couch. He licked her ear, causing her to pant, then said, "Aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"

Yah, I blatantly stole it. I hope you liked it, anyhow.

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Comments

Angharad

Ray; She probally will be writing more then that to Bike but I like the last line, I know if that happen to me it be sad to hear that also. Very cute short story. Richard

Richard

Is this recognition at last?

Angharad's picture

A legend in my own lunch time?

However, I might have gone for World Peace, and Team GB to win the TdF before the Bonzi bit.

Angharad 8)

Angharad

Very very funny!!!

I loved that Angharad, Great ending. LOL!

I just got one question?

You actually work?

No way!!!!

You write to many stories to work.

Great job dear.

Yea aren't you sorry you got him neutered?

LOL!!!!!

Joni W

Cute, very cute

I didn't see the end coming until... well, the end.

(LOL)

Yay Ray!

laika's picture

I started laughing about that second short paragraph, and haven't stopped.
You might've stolen the gimmick/punchline but adapted the particulars quite well.
I could see this starting a craze here at BCTS. "Joannebarbarella walked into a bar and..."
~~~hugs, Laika

.
The closest approximation to what it's like in my brain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u08E7c-FRbU&t=4s

The Mind Boggles

"Joannebarbarella walked into a bar and...hugs Laika"

(Thinks…) I wonder what those two are up to?

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Ahh, Recognition by ones peers.

To gain the recognition from one’s peers is a worthy achievement. One she’s justly earned time and time again. To see her raised up in this manner is a pleasure.

She may not know it, but I owe her much. Thanks!

I’m glad she things she might have made some other choices instead of that one for Bonzi… Who knows, Bonzi might not have been interested.

Annette

Not "fixed"

I keep contending that nutering a cat, or even spaying, heck, any surgery that makes the reproductive organs non-functioning, should be known as "breaking". They worked just fine before, and to make them cease to function is to break something, not "fix" it.
----------------------------
May the Stars light your path.
Joy

Newspeak

laika's picture

It is a rather Orwellian term at that...
But I suppose "fixed" does apply to the hijra cats that want it :)
~~hugs, Laika

.
The closest approximation to what it's like in my brain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u08E7c-FRbU&t=4s

cats

Fortunately it wasn't a certain wizard. Then there would have been two cats at the end...

M

Martina

Who's Next?

terrynaut's picture

Ray! Is no one safe from your clutches? ;)

I loved this. I didn't see the end coming at all and it hit me like a full tank of laughing gas. Thanks! Heh

Thanks.

- Terry

Ray and Ang.

That is just a scream.

I had an idea like this just reciently myself.

Now... How did Bonzi get broken? Is it in
Bike?

Sarah Lynn

I know, I know !

Bonzi fell off of a bike ... and onto its crossbar !

Kim

Poor Bonzi

Very funny and a bit cruel, that last line.

Good job Bonzi was not previously the Owner of Schroedinger, as if he had been, he might have come out neither "fixed", nor unfixed, but both and neither at the same time. Which could have added a new Dimension to our gender confusions!

Briar

Briar

You know...

...Schroedinger might have had a better chance of knowing if he'd had more cats and boxes. (There's a LOL Cat that demonstrates this, I saw it on IcanHasCheezburger.com).

But one can never be sure...

Bonzi, Who Said That The Genie

Didn't take care of THAT problem? Just don't go spraying the house again.
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

I Walked Into A Bar

joannebarbarella's picture

And What?? Come on Laika and Gabi, I'm dying to know what happened other than me ordering a glass of Chardonnay. Do Genies come in wineglasses? I suppose they sort of do at that, at least every fifth glass or so. Back to the story. Well done Ray. It was really funny, but poor Ang and Bonzi! Oh the frustration!
Joanne

Well, Laika…

…we seem to have started something between us, so what do we do? It was you that Joannebarbarella hugged so what happened?

Yea, verily the mind boggleth.

Hugs,

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

I thought...

... Bonzi would start to just lick her or do some other feline like behavior.
Even with the last sentence it took me a few seconds to understand what it meant.

nice story
so where do I find a Genie?

hugs

Holly

Friendship is like glass,
once broken it can be mented,
but there will always be a crack.

One thought just came to me...

... Okay, the Genie is almost all powerful...

I could think of someone "wishing" for complete acceptance from those around them.

But, is this really a good idea? If it were granted, would you then wonder who accepted you as you were, and who had to be magically coerced? I don't know about others, but I suspect this would chew me up (inside) about as much as I'm chewed up today. Perhaps an idea for an author more tallented than I to explore?

Annette

Wishing for acceptance

How about wishing for a lack of rudeness and violence? That would increase your safety and keep away the real hurtful comments, but allow everyone to think of you as they will.

How cute, but I really feel

How cute, but I really feel sorry for poor Bonzi because he may have liked being a cat. Cats are special animals. Dogs come when called, cats are "I'll get back to you when I feel like it".
J-Lynn

Cats

Just giving Bonzi a new body doesn't take away his catness. He's still every bit as much of a cat as I am.

meow

Ray Drouillard

Ah, but can you...

Angharad's picture

lick your bum?

Angharad

Angharad

Lick my bum?

Alas, no. I am a t-cat.

Genies in wineglasses?...

I think I would be very cautious about that one.... An inebriated genie would be more than I could handle.

Wonderful short and comments, Laughed myself silly... Wait, I'm already silly...

Okay, laughed myself wise...

The whole thing reminds me of a television program which dealt with celebrity roasts...

Self_Parking-2.jpg
God Bless You All – Teddi
If I sometimes act like I'm from Venus...

Bike 1,327

I thought that 1,327 was a ridiculously high number when I wrote this ditty. lol

Oh Goddess

WillowD's picture

I am so giggling right now. Thanks.

I'm not giggling right now.

WillowD's picture

I'm way to busy laughing to politely giggle. And my face is starting to hurt from all of the extra smiling.

Great story.