Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 454.

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Bike 454.
by Angharad

Why do I always dream about situations that are worrying me? I see myself being pursued, occasionally caught; or trying to catch something or somebody. The experience is often unpleasant–I don’t seem to remember the nice dreams, I must get them–and I wake up in a bath of sweat or crying my eyes out. Just occasionally, I wake up feeling angry.

It was three in the morning, okay, I needed a wee while I was awake, and it might have been the reason I woke up, but I was so angry. I dreamt that horrible man had been bad mouthing me and no one would listen to my replies. He was stirring up a mob of people and they weren’t hearing me or what I was trying to say.

As I sat on the loo, I wondered why I was angry–surely, the flight response would have been better than fight? Instead, I seemed totally miffed that no one would listen to me, and I was going to make them listen if it killed me, and it looked as if that could have happened.

I went back to bed and thought about the Christian groups in the university, there were several. I had little contact with them because I wasn’t at all interested in fairy tales, however, enlightening they might be. At the same time I was tolerant as long as they left me alone–I suppose I feel the same about most things. Now I felt worried that they might not leave me in peace. It was comforting to know I had the university hierarchy behind me, however, it was the mob in front which were most frightening. Enraged Christians are as dangerous as any other group of maniacs. I thought about the librarian in ancient Alexandria being torn apart by the mad monks from a Christian monastery. She was apparently torn limb from limb, they also burned and sacked the library destroying one of the cultural treasures of the early Christian era. Religion sucks!

I tossed and turned for a while, sleeping when angry is not easy. I did go to sleep around seven, and Tom woke me at half past eight. I woke up crabby. I suddenly realised that Simon hadn’t arrived. I’d sort of expected him the night before, then in all the excitement, I forgot all about him.

I dressed and had some breakfast then sent him a text: ‘Where r u? C.’

An hour or so later, I got a reply. ’Where wer u lst nite? Tryd fonin. S.’

I responded, ’Call me, u twt! C.’

Moments later the phone rang. It was someone trying to sell double glazing. They seemed shocked at my suggestion–I suppose it might have been difficult, especially with the handset sideways.

I was sorting some ingredients to make a wholemeal loaf, when the phone rang again. I picked it up and let fly again. It was Simon who asked if it was safe for him to look over the parapet?

“I’m sorry, but I seem to be getting stupid calls.”

“Try the tabloids, that’s all we’ve had and it’s why I couldn’t come down. Your little friend appears to have stirred up everything again. Be careful, your double glazing person could have been a tabloid journalist checking if you were home. Now they know you are they might stake you out.”

“What d’you mean?”

“Watch you and take photos, so make sure you don’t look like a scarecrow or wear anything too revealing. They love those shots.”

“Hang on, I’ll have a look through the window upstairs.” I dashed up the stairs and sure enough, there was a strange car parked just up the road, presumably they are waiting for me to drive past so they can follow. How can such scum make a living? It’s immoral. I expressed this to Simon, who agreed. “What do I do?”

“Don’t have any lions handy, do you?”

“Lions, why?”

“If I remember correctly, they are rather partial to Christians.”

“How do you know they’re Christian? They could be born again devil worshippers for all I know.”

“Wouldn’t they have a goat with them?”

“I hadn’t thought of that,” I confessed.

“Just be thankful, you’re not albino and live in Kenya.”

“Yeah, the sun would burn you something awful.”

“No, the witchdoctors have been telling people if they can get hold of a piece of albino, they will get rich. People have been cutting arms legs and goolies of the poor buggers.”

“You’re joking?”

“Tell that to the families of the thirty or forty people butchered so far.”

“Oh my God, that is so pathetic. I can’t believe people can be so stupid and gullible.”

“I’d have thought the evidence was sitting out in that car across the road. If people just got on with their own lives instead of wanting to point out the differences of others, they wouldn’t be there.”

“News of the Screws, I s’pose,” I said thinking out loud. “Why can’t they leave me alone, I’m old news?”

“Obviously not, however, maybe you should inform them of your accuser’s short comings.”

“He didn’t change sex, did he?”

“Neither did you, you were a woman with a urological defect.”

“Sure you don’t mean neurological–as in the bit between my ears?”

“Well that as well, but they don’t want to photograph that do they? They want to see you because they think you are sexy, an opinion I happen to share. From your description of your detractor, he’s an ugly bastard with little to recommend him. If you like I could make a phone call and get his legs broken.”

“No, Simon, much as I’d like to do it myself, that just gives him more credibility. He’s a total non-entity with a sociopathic problem.”

“Maybe you should tell them?”

“I don’t want to go anywhere near them.”

“Okay, call someone you would go near, call the Guardian or the Times.”

“Then I’ve invited them in, haven’t I?”

“Up to you, I have to go, there is still a financial crisis out there, which someone has to keep going.”

“I thought you were supposed to be solving it?”

“Oh yeah, I knew I was supposed to be doing something about it.” He rang off and I went to speak with Tom.

“What do you think we should do?”

“I don’t know, Cathy. They’re not doing anything illegal, so I can’t call the police.”

“Simon suggested calling the Guardian and talking with them.”

“You could do, but then you’ve made the first move, again. What did you do last time?”

“Spoke to Des.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, he spoke to the BBC and they were actually quite nice.”

“Speak to them again, see what they suggest.”

“I don’t know. Oh why can’t they go and leave me in peace?”

“There’s another car out there now, oh and two blokes walking up and down outside with cameras.”

“Oh shit, Tom, what do we do?”

“I think I’d better call the police, don’t you?”

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Comments

Geez

again, more adversity. This girl is never gonna have a minute's peace.

Maybe she should get used to being in the limelight and become famous. Or maybe she should run and hide forever. Or maybe she should be acting like it doesn't bother her and just get on with it.

Then again, what doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger.

and pain is weakness leaving the body.

No wonder she doesn't know which way to flop.

On the other hand

What doesn't kill you usually puts you in the hospital.

And pain is your body's way of telling you you've screwed up. ;-)

KJT

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way." College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Perfidious and Pestilential Paparazzi

So Cathy is faced with yet another problem; Perfidious and Pestilential Paparazzi are sadly a sign of the times, particularly in this age of instant access digital photography, and sadly it is a nasty disease that has spread to a number of bullying teenagers with camera-phones, providing them with the perfect tool with which to plague those of their community who are less able to look after themselves—such as the transgendered.

In the sixties when I worked for a while as a news photographer there was always a delay between taking your shot and it appearing in the paper. Admittedly it could be less than half an hour if you were near the office but such occasions were rare. One of the papers in Norway actually experimented with Polaroid cameras used in conjunction with a picture scanner in their cars which could radio the pic back to the office a couple of minutes later. However the results were not brilliant.

Yes, modern technology is a wonderful thing—where would we on BC be without the internet?—but I sometimes wish things were a little more sedate as in days or yore.

Gabi

Gabi.


“It is hard for a woman to define her feelings in language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.” Thomas Hardy—Far from the Madding Crowd.

Fun story - sorta - interesting anyway.

And, VERY engaging...

Yes, modern technology is a wonderful thing—where would we on BC be without the internet?—but I sometimes wish things were a little more sedate as in days or yore.

Where would we be? More isolated, and even easier prey. We'd have less easy access to information. We'd ... well, you get the idea. I'm SURE, without the internet, I'd never have started writing after over three dozen years.

So, all said, I mostly am glad the internet is here... Though, I've gotten out of the letter writing habit - in favor of e-mail... And a few people I'd otherwise correspond with, don't do e-mail. *sighs* Without the e-mail and internet, imagine how many good stories you might have missed out on.

Thanks for the fun story.
Annette

I guess if the internet has been around when ..

... you and I had been teenagers, Gabi our lives may well have been different. I thought I was unique (I really did :)) and so I hid away feeling very ashamed and confused. Fortunately my life worked out OK as I fell in love with and married a wonderful women and we're still together after over 40 years. So perhaps, in my case, I might have made a terrible mistake but lots of others may have been saved from misery.

Like all technology the 'net has its pros and cons but I think the former outweigh the latter on the whole. Plus, I love digital photography - and I speak as one who proposed marriage in a photographic darkroom LOL

Geoff

Cathy Should Have A Press Conferrence

And simply reveal the facts about the cad. THEN admit that she is a woman with a birth defect and talk about the survey she is heading up.
May Your Light Forever Shine

    Stanman
May Your Light Forever Shine

It never ends

with the extreme Christian types or the media.More great writing.Amy"May your pen never run out of ink and your brain out of ideas"

Cathy

umm, Cathy has an Agent/lawyer ... that's whom I'd be a calling. Isnt that what they're hired to do...keep their client looking good.

Besides Erin's just the perfect person maybe to hook up with tom :-)

Body Guard

I keep saying she need body guards, why doesn't anyone listen!!!

Wait, this was written 4 years ago. Never mind!

Just wait until I catch up! Then What I Say Matters!

Paparazzi

Comment keeps vanishing?
Those Paparazzi will multiply, as soon as they smell blood, They have no interest in a bald toad who lied about his education, over a Beautiful tg. A lot of their readers will find this scintillating, = selling papers.
Look what "News of the World" did to Caroline Cossey.
Cathy, you are about to become really famous.

Cefin