William Church and the Scandinavia trip.
by Sharphawlad
Chapters 8 DNA tests.

Kirsten, “As you can see several of us appear to look alike. As you are here can you take DNA samples from us all and have it tested.

"Madame all I need is a swab from your mouth and a blood sample. I can do those tests on board."

Kirsten, "At the moment the fewer that know what we suspect the better." William started to stir. He looked at himself and then at Olga.

Lynn, "William we decided while you were asleep to dress you. Nobody will give you a second glance as you look like Olga. The doctor was just going to take DNA samples as it seams a coincidence. You look like Olga & I look like Kirsten & both your daughters look like twins.”

Personally I think some how we are all related to each other and somebody has been telling porkies. The doctor left the room and started to test the samples. "Well well Olga & William you two could be identical twins. He continued to test all the others. He decided to take all the samples to the hospital and have then double check his results. He was away most of the evening from the ship. He got back to the ship just before 23.00 then he went straight to William's cabin.

Angela, "Well what did you find?"

“I will start with Miss Louise & Lucinda. They appear to have identical parents and according to their blood and DNA are identical twins. The same is applicable to you Madame and Queen Helga you also appear to be identical twins in fact I could find no difference. The strange thing is you and your husband has the same relationship to each other as Queens Olga & Helga have. Between Queen Olga & your husband there was only one discernible difference. In your husband his testosterone level is almost nil in fact he is showing all the signs of being a pregnant female.

William, "Doctor I can assure you I am currently male. I do though occasionally start lactating. I started again just after we boarded the boat. When this happens my testis start to get very painful.”

The doctor examined William's breasts and said, "You are going to need to express or they will get painful. Do you mind lying on the bed, as I also need to check you below?” William flinched as the doctor touched him. “I take it they are very sore?”

William, “Extremely painful when they get like this."

The doctor, "I could give you a local in both sides and that will give you some respite from the pain."

William, "Go on then." A few seconds later there was a pop and then a second pop.

Lynn, “What was that noise?”

Your body has apparently pulled both your testis back inside after I injected them. Whilst you are like this I will do a rectal examination.

William, "Be careful I occasionally start to bleed."

Lynn joked, “I keep telling him He will have to use towels like I do.”

The doctor continued with his examination and noticed several folds of skin. These he teased apart with his fingers. Lynn can you pass me a towel you husband has started to bleed. The doctor asked William a few more questions and said. “Can you both come to the ships hospital I can continue my investigation better there.” William looked at the bloody mess on the bed.

Angela, "Do not worry the maid will deal with that."

In the Clinic William had to put both his feet in stirrups and lay on his back. The doctor said, "I have almost finishing removing all that gunge. Now I can see clearly what is going on. William have the hospital ever said anything about you been anything other than male?”

Lynn replied, "A nurse did say once he was lucky he did not have everything removed when he had a growth removed. Other than that no."

"Well William it appears you are not entirely male after all and your blood loss is entirely natural or would be for a genetic female. You will also probably now find your lactation problem abates. I suspect you have always been a hermaphrodite and when you fell it somehow damaged your testis. Your body compensated by bringing in to play your female system. I will need to keep check on you while on board but for now you should be OK. You will though need to change the towel often but I am sure your wife will give you the advice you need.”

William sat there looking shocked.

Lynn spoke, "I took you for better or worse for richer or poorer. You will always be my husband even if you now look like Queen Olga.”

William, "I suppose I had better get out of these clothes before somebody mistakes me for Olga."

The doctor, “Actually a skirt would be a good idea for you as there would be no pressure down below. You were very tender and sore down there." William and Lynn went back to their cabin and he tried getting the make up off.

Lynn said let me try. Maria had come to change the bed and Lynn said, “Do you know what sort of make up was used last night?"

"Queen Olga always has semi permanent put on so it lasts a few weeks. I usually do it every three weeks or so."

“Thank you Maria.”

"Well William it looks like we will have to get you some clothing after all. The Doctor said you had to wear skirts and dresses."

Angela, "Watch the reactions this morning when we enter the dining room." Sure enough everybody stood up and then either bowed or curtsied as the three of them entered. They all think we are all Queens. Even the Captain was surprised. "Sorry you’re Majesty but I was informed you had gone ashore."

William, "I will be going on shore shortly."

Angela spoke to the maid Maria. "Can you go into stateroom one and remove all male clothing you find. Double check there is no item of value left on or in them. They are to be disposed of immediately. I will be shopping with the family." Maria curtsies.

William looks at his debit card and says, “This card is going to take a hammering.”

Angela, "Kirsten & Olga will be footing the bill as they have decided to get you both a new wardrobe."

Louise & Lucinda joined them. "Mum why is dad still dressed like Aunt Olga?"

Lynn for a moment was stumped what to say.

Lucy said, "Mummy because Queen Olga wants it."

Angela, "She should be here shortly. Several black Rolls Royce's pulled up.

Lucy "Mum I am going with Grandma Wilma."

Lynn, "The child has apparently named you." Olga had the same dress on as William.

"Maria told me you still had that on so I have the matching one on. I also have had the full doctor’s report. It is strange how we are identical.

William, “Well as far as I know there was no Royal blood in my family or Lynn’s. I always keep a record of our family tree on disk."

Olga, "Can I borrow that and said to one of the drivers can you call for a courier to take this to the Royal Genealogist."

A motor cyclist appeared and then sped off with the disk. Louise said, "Mummy said it was OK to put on this dress do you like it?"

William, "You look beautiful in that."

"This is my new baby I have brought her to show her off."

William chuckled, "You are not the only one showing their baby off." The drivers did a double take when they saw three apparent sets of twins getting in to the cars. It was back to the department store.

Lynn jokingly said, “We should have shares in this place the amount we have spent here the last few days.”

They were spotted by the manager of the store who rushed up to greet them like long lost friends. Lucy said, “We have come shopping for my Mum & Grandma this time.”

Olga, “Actually we are looking for three sets of two."

Louise, "I hope we can get a good discount."

Lucy," The last time I was in here with Aunt Angela we went into a room where I was brought dresses and I was also brought milk and sandwiches. I got this dolly for my birthday."

This time they were led into a much larger room. Girls came in wearing various designs and Olga or Wilma said yes or no. Then they tried on the designs and decided if they wanted them. Then the same girls came wearing slightly younger designs Kirsten & Lynn immediately agreed on the designs they liked. Finally it was the turn of Louise & Lucinda.

Louise said, I will model these myself and Lucinda can say if she like them or not.

Lucinda kept saying yes or no and then the manager said, "Could I borrow the princess for a moment?"

A short time later Louise and Lucy came out holding hands. This is from our mother and daughter range would you be interested. There was an immediate yes from all in the room. In that case can I borrow these two so you can see the entire range?

Lucy said, "Mummy Louise I need the Toilet. After that they all had a refreshment break.

9. Lucy knows her furs.

Olga, “While we are all here can your measuring service check us all out as we appear to have lost some weight recently?"

A woman appeared with a tape measure and started with Olga & then Wilma. She put all their measurements in a computer and then did the same with the other ladies.

Lucy watched and then said, "Are you going to do that for me and Ariel?"

The lady smiled and said, "We can not forget you and Ariel can we." "I have just the thing for you providing it is OK with your mummy."

The woman appeared a short time later with a little silky bra and pant set. Lucy did not hesitate to see if they would fit.

Lucinda, "I presume you have them in larger sizes."

"Yes madam we have them in all your sizes but that is the smallest we do."

Lucy turns to the doll and said, "When you get big like me you can have some." Louise dressed again and she was fingering a fur coat.

One of the models said, "Do you like this? Let’s see if we can find one to fit you.

A short while later Lucy returned, "Mummy I found this & it will keep me very warm."

Wilma and the others burst out laughing, "Did you have that made for her."

The manager, "No the company make sample coats that will only fit children." This is one of those that has been left behind by a rep." The manager dialled a number and spoke to the Company managing director.

The others did not hear what was said but then the manager said, “Your Majesty they wish to talk to you."

"Yes that is correct Princess Lucy is wearing it at the moment."

“Our MD is coming round with the accessories that go with the coat."

Lucy would not take the coat off. Eventually a young woman arrived with a stole, hat and gloves. She asked for permission to photograph Lucy. "Lucy I was told it was your birthday yesterday would you like these as a present from me?"

Lucinda, "You can not be giving these away they are worth a fortune."

"Actually Madame they are from our reproduction range for ladies who want people to think they are wearing real fur." "I am being cheeky but have I permission to put on the range by appointment to Princess Lucy?
Olga examined it closer and said, "It looks like the real thing to me."

As she was speaking a very harassed rep appeared and said, "I left a sample and I will be in trouble with my boss if I do not collect it."

The sales girl, “You better go in there." Lucy was still in the coat. He noticed Lucy in the coat and tried to show her the other coat he had on his arm.

Lucy, "This is softer I like this better." By now the rep was sweating profusely. Lucy went over to the Lady, "He does not want me to have this coat, but that other does not feel quite the same."

The MD felt the coat and started to smile. “Lucy I promise you can keep the coat you are wearing. You have just proved to me even a four year old can tell the difference between real and fake fur. I take it you are our only rep with both samples."

Olga felt the difference, "The fake still looks impressive."

Lucy, "Have you a small one to fit my baby? She will not mind if it is a fake but I prefer the real thing."

The rep, "I have this sample in my case,” Lucy tried it on her doll and then went and gave the rep a kiss.

Kirsten, “How much do we owe for these?"

The MD, “Nothing, I told the management that people could tell the difference."

Lucinda felt the difference, "It depends who you intend marketing them at. Many girls will go for the fake because it looks like the original but is considerably cheaper. Some who are vegetarians or Vegans will also wear it."

Olga, “We will take nine of your real coats to match the one Princess Lucy is wearing. The seventh is for Queen Renate of Bavaria who is to accompany us on the Royal midnight sun. You should have her measurements on file."

Helga, "Your request is also granted. You may put. By appointment to Queen Helga of Denmark she looked across at Lucy and said and of course for the children's ranges by appointment to Crown Princess Lucy of Denmark & Norway. The rep and the MD both left quite happy.

Olga, "He should be happy now. I would be with an order like that."

Helga, "I suppose we all should apologise for what we did last night. Before we even got the results we all realised you looked like Olga."

Olga, "When I called for my maids I forgot they use semi permanent makeup on me as it saves me having to do it daily.”

Louise, “Dad you saw the effect this morning. Everybody round here is going to mistake you for Queen Olga and treat you as such."

Helga, "I was the instigator of you two winning the cruise. Even the meeting with Angela was planned. What I did not plan for was you adopting your own daughter & Grand daughter. Between the two of us we had planned to give you a surprise party."

Lynn thought for a moment. "I gave Angela a list of all those we were going to invite which included Rose & family."

Angela, "We already have a venue for your party. Apparently none of the guests have refused so far although we have had difficulty in finding your brother & wife."

Lynn, "I hope you included all the present company."

Lucy, "Are you and grandpa having a party. Can I help open the cards and presents?"

William, “All our guests are in for a shock, but I think you can be the official card opener. Thank you Kirsten for arranging this trip. In fact it could not have come at a better time. The two houses either side of us appears to have workmen in. I for one will be glad to get away from all that noise. I talked to the foreman & he said he expected the work to take three to four weeks but all the noisy stuff should be done in the first three weeks.”

Louise, "There were clouds of dust coming out of those houses. I think when we get back we will have a major cleaning task ahead.”

“The foreman. They had discovered the dividing wall in the yard was in a bad state and would it be OK if they replaced our stretch as well. I was humming and arr-ing and he said, we quoted to replace the whole stretch so there is no charge for the building work. I gave him Permission I hope that was OK."

William, "It we get a nice wall out of it then it is."

Olga, "If it is permissible I could send a team of housekeepers to clean the house before you arrive home."

Lynn, “I for one would appreciate that. I was not looking forward to all that cleaning."

Lucy, "I would have helped and so would mum."

Louise, "I think you might be stopping with me or my Grandparents when we get back."

Helga, “Well do you to rush back for anything or would you like to be put up in my home when the cruise ends?"