What's in a Name? -1-

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What do you see in the mirror or do you just say "Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the Fairset One of all?" Shadow swirls in the mirror, then coalesce into an image.

What's in a Name?

Chapter 1

By BrandieS


 
I was looking in the mirror the other day and didn't see anything special. You know, the usual. Thin face, no facial hair, slightly upturned nose, arching brows and my eyes. Well, they're actually different colored. I mean that one eye is one color and the other is a different color. Not unusual for me. Except that for as long as can remember, my mom would say litte things like how good I looked. I always thought that was just mom being mom and didn't think much more about it.

I was born Dana Jamie Carter, April 1, 1984. How's that for an April Fools gag, my name I mean. Could be either a boys name or a girls. And don't think I didn't get ribbed about it in school. But, it was in my second year of college that things really started to happen to me. Let me tell you.

I was walking to class one day early in October, when I heard a voice call out for someone. Not a name I recognized, I continued to walk to my class. All of a sudden, a hand grabbed my shoulder and spun me around causing me to drop some books. As I bent to retreive my books, my assailant got a good look at my face and hurriedly appologized. "I'm sorry. I thought you were my friend Julie. I mean you looked just like her as you were walking past.", She colored as she said this, then continued, "I'm Anne Sherman." She held out her hand and I lightly grasped it.

"Dana Carter", was all I replied.

She then continued to talk, "Well, I got to tell you that you look so much like my friend, it's amazing. I bet you have to beat the boys off with a stick?' the last said with a small laugh.

I must have jerked back or something as she became very concerned with how I was looking at her. To stop her in her tracks before this got any further out of hand, I said, "Sorry no, I don't have to beat the boys off with sticks. As I am not Gay, I only date girls. Now, if you'll pardon me, I'm late."

Without waiting for a reply I headed for my class.

Actually I had lied. I don't date anyone. Most of the girls I find attractive won't go out with me and several of them have just come straight out and said so. Others have laughed and ridiculed me. I thought the guys were bad, but girls can be pure evil. I suffered non-dating torment all through High School. Oh, sure I was always selected to be on the Decorating Comittee, but never had a date. Still I had to be at those stupid dances and that meant that I had to be dressed accordingly. I usually stuck out like a sore thumb. During my Junior and Senior year at High School, I didn't even bother to dress up, as my mother wanted. I just went to the dumb dances wearing my regular clothes. Heck, if I was gonna be a dateless wonder, at least I could be comfortable. It was funny though, but after the first time I went to a dance in normal clothing, it seems that I wasn't even noticed. Hah! Not soon enough for me graduation arrived and I looked forward to a summer job, then college life in the Fall.

I put the episode behind me and forged ahead with my life. Classes melted into classes. My routine was well established and I varied little from my norm. I was passing the Art Department one day and saw a sign asking for models for an advanced Art class. The class would pay a small modeling fee based on the type and length of modeling. I saw the room number and headed in that direction, needless to say there were quite a few people in line.

The noise was increasing and it was hard to hear yourself think, when the door opened and someone announced, "Sorry folks, but we've got all the models we need. Thank for showing up."

I just closed the book I was reading and turned to leave when I literally walked into the girl from the earlier episode. She recognized me and asked what I was doing in the Art Department. I mentioned the modeling and that I could use a few bucks. She grinned and pulling me by the arm, she took me into the Art classroom.

"Professor Howard.", she called out as she entered. "Professor Howard, I've got a model for you, and just wait till you see." She was giddy with excitement and I was confused to say the least. A voice soon replied to her calling, saying "We've got all the models we need. Maybe next time." I took that as a clue to leave, but Anne pulled me farther into the Art room. "Professor, you really need to see this model."

A middle aged man, with dark hair and flecks of grey, looked up and smiled at Anne. She took that for a good sign and pulled me over to the man. "Professor Howard, this is Dana Carter, you're new model" Anne smiled as she looked at the professor. Turning to me, she said, "Put your books down and turn all the way around, slowly." Without asking why, I did as requested.

As I finished my 360, I looked up to see a pair of piercing green eyes boring holes into me. Rather that turn away, I stared back. Finally the eyes, having had their fill, turned away and I heard, "Yes, I see."

The Professor took note of my name and then proceeded to tell me of the modeling schedule. Between the two of us, with occasional input from Anne, a schedule was arranged. I was to begin with the morning class. I was also told not to worry about clothing, as some of the classes were clothing optional for the model. This caused me to color and turn away. The Professor assured me that for the time being, I would be clothed. Thanking the Professor for the job, I resumed my normal afternoon schedule.

The next morning, I arrived at the Art studio at the appointed time. There were several students, at least I think they were students, busy doing an assortment of things. Not knowing what to do, I sat on a stool by the door and as I waited, I pulled out a book and began to read.

I was so engrossed in the book I was reading that I hadn't moved from the stool for the entire hour. I was a little ashamed of not doing the job that I was being paid for when I was told that I should come back same time tomorrow. Gathering my books, I headed for my class, all the time thinking about not being needed as a model and just reading my text for the entire period. Oh, well, I'd ask tomorrow.

The next day and the next day were the same as the first. I sat on a stool and read my text books. This was getting me nowhere. I needed some extra money and I thought this modeling gig would help, but I guess not. If they did not want me to model, what was I doing wasting my time. This thought flooded my mind about half way thru the period and I started to collect my books and leave when I heard a "Hey, we're not done yet." from across the room. I was confused.

"Uh, done with what?" I asked.

"You, this session." was the reply.

"My, my...session, look all I have been doing is holding that damn stool down for the past three days. No one said crap to me about when to start or what to do. So I'm outta here." I shouldered my load and turned to the door. As I opened the door, a hand grabbed my arm and I heard, "Uh, sorry, I thought you knew."
"Knew, what?" was my reply.

"Well, in this class, we don't use special poses. When you sat on the stool and just waited, the Professor was amazed at how you looked and so we decided to just go with it. That's why no one said anything."

The voice continued, "Come over here and take a look."

The hand pulled me back into the room and I stood looking at a young man smiling. When he turned to fully face me, he did a double take, then quickly said, "Wow, you really are a beautiful woman."

Before I could react, he led me over to one of the art students and began to explain the inner workings of the class. I wasn't listening to him as my mind was on the painting before me. It was a picture of a woman. Long brown hair, cruscifix about the neck and a thin smile on her face. She was very pretty and without conscious thought I said as much.

The artist, a student named Dale, turned to me as if it was the first he noticed me and smiled a quick smile, then said, "If only I could see the rest of her." I agreed that with her hair and facial features she was without a doubt quite beautiful and I too would like to see the rest of her. Having said this, the man escorting me turned to look at me with a curious stare. I thought he was going to say something else, but the words didn't come out. I took this as my sign to leave and soon found myself free from the confines of the classroom.

The modeling continued in the same manner for the next week. I arrived at the Art studio, I read my book and held down the stool. Occasionally one of the students would actually notice I was there. The first student I met, Dale, even said hello. Gasp. Then before he hurried off to another class, ask me if I would like a cup of coffee or something. I guess I should have seen this coming, but I was blindsided by the offer. When I recovered my voice, I quietly told Dale that thanks but no thanks, I was not GAY and I not was experimenting. Then I grabbed my books and I headed off to my next class.

I was lost in thought and not paying attention when I bumped into this big guy. I mean he was big. I'm 5 feet 7 inches and last I weighed I was 138 lbs, but this guy must have been 2 or 3 times my size. I looked up at him expecting him to say something mean, but instead he smiled weakly at me and said, "Uh, could you please not look at me that way, sweetie? I'm only human and I don't think the coach would like it if I didn't do good in practice." Without saying another word, he smiled at me and ran off. I stood there looking around. 'Who was he talking to?' I thought.
 
 
Friday
 
The rest of my week passed as usual, then on Friday as I was getting out of my last class, a friend asked if I wanted to get a cup of coffee. I could use the caffeine boost, so I readily agreed. Gathering our books, we headed over to the local coffee shop. I guess I wasn't paying too much attention cause when we got to the coffee shop, my friend, Bill, opened the door for me. I wasn't carrying any more books than him, but he made sure to open the door and politely wave me through. It started to get weirder as he put his books down on one of the small couches and then helped me with my books. I must have looked puzzled cause he just rushed off and was soon back with two coffee specials. He handed me the drink and then sat down beside me.

"Uh, Bill, uh, what's up?", I asked tentatively. "Uh, I can open my own door and handle my own books. What's going on?"

Bill looked at me and smiled, "N...nothing's going on, I just.." His voice trailed off. Shit, Bill was probably the only other person I talked to at college and now I was, huh, what was I doing. Then it hit me. Bill was Gay and thought I was too. Oh, no.

Taking a deep breath, I looked at Bill and said, "Uh, Bill, there's something you should know. I, uh, umm, that is, Bill I am not Gay. You can treat me like a normal guy not some, some.."

Bill's head snapped around as he look at me, then carefully he said, "Uh, that's nice to know, but, I don't get it. I mean, I'm sure not gay and why would I want to treat you like some guy?" There was a puzzled look on his face as this was said.

"Uh, Bill, it's just that I thought, welll you know with the door and then getting my coffee, I just assumed you were gay. And, hey, I'm not really inclined that way, I mean, ah, I guess I don't know what I mean."

I was confused and it had been getting worse all week. I was just gonna go back to my place when another piece of shit hit the proverbial fan, in the form of the big jock I ran into earlier in the week. I saw him come in to the coffee shop, then look in my direction. A smile came to his face and he headed to my side of the room stopping in front of me.

He had a big grin on his face as he said, "Hi, again little one. Is this your boyfriend?" The last part said as he sized up Bill.

"Uh, umm, no, this is Bill, he's in my Lit class. Besides we're only friends. Not Gay!" The last said with too much emphasis. This week was wiping me out. I was going back to my place, do some studying and hide out till Monday.

I stood up and grabbed my books, turning to Bill, I said, "Thanks for the Java, gotta go." I dashed out the door.

Both Bill and the Jock chased after me. I ran fearing for my life. I could hear them calling to me to stop, but I just had to get away. What the hell was happening to people around me. I slowed as I neared my car and fishing for my keys, I unlocked the door and threw my stuff on the seat. Getting behind the wheel, I put the key in the ignition and as I started to turn the key, I looked up at the rear view mirror. Thankfully all I could see was a view of the other side of the parking lot. I started my car and drove back to my place.

The drive back to my place was unnerving too. It seemed that everyone was looking at me like I was a freak. I tried not to let it bother me, but it became obvious that some people were actually staring at me. And let's not forget the cries of "Hey, baby." It was with relief that I turned into my driveway. I turned off the car, took a deep breath and gathering my things, I headed to my room.

I live in a house with three other guys. We rent from a little old lady, Mrs Stein, and she does a few chores for us if we pay extra. Mostly I let her do my laundry as it is a big help. She has one hard rule: NO FEMALES in the rooms. She can smell a girl from across town she says and she has caught a couple of the guys breaking this rule. I no sooner made it to my room, when my landlady came barging in.

Without looking at me, she exclaimed, "And just what are you doing here. I run a clean house and don't tolerate any hanky-panky." I stood up and turned to face her. She looked sternly at me for a few seconds, then advanced toward me.

"Well, I'm talking to you young lady. What's the meaning of this, being in Dana's room?"

I opened my mouth and tried to speak but nothing would come out. I tried again and then she looked at me and gasped, "Oh, my, I had no idea. My dear, you're quite stunning."

She had a beautiful smile on her face as this was said. Then she had advanced quite close to me and took my hand in hers. I was shaking from her words and started to cry softly. Her maternal instinct shifted into gear and she pulled me close and hugged me.

"There, there, girl, you'll be okay. Let's go down stairs and have a nice cup of tea and you can tell Auntie all about it." This was a side of her that I had not seen and it added to the shock that I already had. The flood gates opened and shudders racked my body.

I did not have a bed in my room. I had opted for a small couch, with a pull-out. Auntie guided me to the couch and told me to sit. She went into the bathroom and returned with a roll of Toilet Paper directing me to wipe my tears. We sat on the couch for a long time, at least that's what it seemed. When the shudders stopped and the crying fell off, she took me by the hand and led me downstairs for that long awaited cup of tea. Auntie, that's what she told me to call her, said that many of the ladies always used a good cup of tea to think things out and settle their nerves. God did I need that!

"And that's what has happened this week.. I just don't know any more." Auntie smiled thinly and nodded. Both of us were thinking, finally she said, "Dana, have you talked to your mother about this, I mean, she's your mother and maybe she can help." She had a good point. Still, I didn't know if I wanted to say anything to mom yet. Maybe there were other things to do first.

"I just realized, I got that student insurance stuff, maybe I can get in to see a doctor. You know, get some medical answers."

I actually smiled at this plan. If I had a medical condition it would go a long way in helping find a cure. I discussed this plan with Auntie and she agreed. She also cautioned me about being careful in the house till a cure could be found. She would watch over me and help if needed. She also insisted that I check in and out with her daily. I was a little upset about this at first, but as we talked, I saw her reasons and agreed. I went back to my room feeling better.
 
 
Monday
 
I got thru the weekend with the help of two close friends, Pizza and Beer. Monday morning, I headed for the campus clinic and signed in. They wanted to know what the problem was, but all I said was personal. This was taken with raised eyebrows, but nothing was said out loud. I waited for my name to be called and almost jumped when it was. I was escorted to an exam room where the assistant did what the assistant does, then was told that the doctor would see me soon.

After several minutes, the doctor came into the room looked at me and asked what could he do for me. I had a lump in my throat and stammered out some reason. He smiled and asked if I had a regular GYN doctor. I turned bright red at that and he chuckled at my response. His humor was not mean but relaxing and he told me to wait for a minute. He left the room and returned with a female assistant and she handed me an exam gown, explaining that I should remove all my clothes and put it on. Then she helped me onto the exam table.

The doctor the reentered the room and began his exam. Eyes, ears, throat, head, neck, arms, back, then asked me to lower the exam gown to my waist and lay back on the table. I did this hesitantly, helped by the assistant. The doctor was keeping a running oral report of my exam and when he saw my chest, he asked, "What bra size are you?"

I hesitated to answer, then the coldly said, "I don't wear girls clothes."

This was taken with a small gasp from the assistant.

The doctor just said, "You might start. Your breast are developing nicely, no lumps or masses, your nipples are reactive, and your breast can use the support. Now, then, you can cover your chest and we need to expose the rest of you." Turning to his assistant he asked her to help get me in position for a PaP exam, whatever that was.

As the assistant was explaining what the PaP exam was, my eyes became big as saucers.

"No way.", I shouted, "I don't need that. I'm a BOY!"

You could have heard a pin drop after that. Both looked at me with shocked expressions.

"You think I'm kidding?", I said as I pulled the gown to my waist and exposed my manhood to their eyes.

Finally, my thought processes were on track as I proceeded to explain the events of the past week and why I was here. The doctor asked me some more questions about taking female hormones, wanting to be a girl. Embarassing stuff like that.

Finally, when the inquisition was over, he examined my male parts and just shook his head. "Ok, until we get more answers, it appears that you might have a condition known as Gynecomastia, commonly called 'Boy Boobs", be careful your chest area, especially your nipples may be quite sensitive. Next from examining your face and other areas, I would say that you have never had a razor on your face." I colored as this was said.

He continued, "First, we take blood samples and send them to the Lab, second, you're penis is small for your age and it appears that your testicles have not completely formed, third, you have two different colored eyes. We should get the lab results back in 4 days, then we'll call you in for a review. In the mean time, try to relax." He said his goodbyes and the assistant collected the required blood. It was time to leave. On my way out, the assistant recommended a support bra or a sport bra.

The doctor had me scheduled for test at the Medical Center. A CT scan, MRI, and Ultrasound of my abdomen and genitals. All sounded like Greek to me, but hey, if the insurance was paying, maybe I'd find out what was wrong with me. After getting my appointment slips, I went back to class.

Later in the day, I felt like I was being watched. No one seemed to notice me or treat me different, but there was a fear there anyway. I decided to change my appeaance, so I went to one of the local strip malls and found an old timey barber shop. You know, couple of chairs, guys for barbers and no frills. I entered and took a seat. The wait was not long and soon I was in a barber chair with the cape around my neck. When the barber asked how I wanted it, I cringed. It almost seemed like a sexual inuendo to me, but I passed it off and told him to take it down and leave a couple of inches all around, so I could comb it neatly. He sighed and shrugged saying it was my hair and began cutting. Soon hair was falling all around me and I relaxed in the chair.

Lost in a daze I didn't realize the barber had finished, when he said, "I left enough to still be cute. Hope it works for you." I wasn't in the mood for conversation and just paid and left. On the way out I thought I heard, "Cute girl, wonder why she wanted..." I missed the last part as the door closed behind me.
 
 
Thursday
 
I showed up for the appointments. Medical science can be and usually is amazing. After being poked, prodded and stuck I figured that the answer to my problem was close at hand. there was still one more test to do then, hopefully my doctor would know how to cure me. I hope, I hope.

The only bad part of the tests was the Ultrasound. The tech was a pretty redhead, with a nice smile. Her name tag said Julie. She was very helpful and explained everything that she was doing. She began by putting some gooey stuff on my belly, then using thing that looked like a microphone, she rubbed the gooey stuff over my belly. You could see a blurred picture on the nearby monitor as she moved the thing back and forth. She let out a loud gasp as she moved the "probe" over my lower abdomen and a picture of something came up on the monitor. Her professionalism held though and soon the test was done. I could see concern in her eyes and confusion on her face. As I sat up, I decided to tell her all.

As I finished my tale, she smiled and asked,"Did you have a DNA test done?" I was confused and said so. She explained that the DNA test could potentially check for abnormalities as well as show if there were any irregularities with my sex chromosomes. I thought that this was helpful and thanked her for the idea. She walked out with me and then asked if I would like a cup of coffee. I accepted and soon we were on our way to the local coffee shop.

Julie chatted about her husband and kids and asked me questions. I was hesitant to tell a lot, but she was patient and persistent. She was not condescending at all. I thought that if a girl, woman, knew what was happening to me, I would be thought of as mocking their sex.

She said, "Dana, it's actually hard to tell if you are a boy or a girl. There's something about you that is different. If I hadn't seen proof during the ultrasound, and heard your story I would have never believed this could be true. But here you are, and I just have to tell you, You are Stunning!"

Of course this caused me to turn bright red. Julie laughed at this and said, "You may as well get used to it." I groaned.

As we were leaving the coffee shop, I saw Bill. Unfortunately, he saw me too and ran over to us. I introduced Julie and after their hellos, he asked what I was doing. Julie was smiling at all this. I was trying to give him the brush off, but he held on tight. Finally I agreed to give him a call later. Julie giggled at this and when I started to say something, she raised her eyebrows at me. I shut up and continued walking.

We passed several shops and then stopped in front of a boutique. As luck would have it, when I looked in the window I saw my reflection superimposed over a pretty dress. I gasped causing Julie to glance at the window and then she too let out a loud gasp. I was shocked, a full range of emotions were running full speed through my head, shock, anger at what was happening to me, denial at my changes, confusion. The list seemed to go on forever. I turned and ran off. Julie called after me to stop, but I ran faster looking for shelter. I only stopped cause I had run back to Julie's car and couldn't get in. She caught up to me and held me as I sobbed.

She opened the door and we got in. As she drove back to the clinic parking lot, she asked me to come to her house for dinner. I declined, but she would not take no for an answer. Promising to be at her house by 6:30, I got in my car and went to my rooming house. Auntie greeted me at the door and asked me how the day went. I told her of the Ultrasound and meeting Julie. She smiled and asked if Julie was my new girlfriend, but did not loose her mischievous smile when I explained that Julie was happily married, complete with children. Auntie showed her support by saying that it was nice I was making new friends.

I pulled up at the curb, looking at a nice two story home, manicured front yard and a fence seperating a section of the yard. I thought about just going back to my place, but the side curtain had moved and I was seen. I got out of the car and treaded my way to the front door. I rang the bell and was suprised when the door opened with no one there. I looked inside the door and called out, "Uh, the door just opened."

I heard a giggle and looked down at the source of the noise. It was a small person, rather a child, standing next to the door, holding on to the door frame for fear of falling.

"Uh, hi, I'm Dana, I'm looking for Julie."

The little one just raised its arms to me, in a sort of pick me up way that little kids do. I bent over and grabbed hold of the child, then stood up and adjusted its weight for a better carrying position.

"Uh, where's Julie, uh Mommy?" I asked.

The child placed one arm around my neck and pointed farther into the house with the other. I set off following the pointing finger.

I followed the pointing finger thru the house to the patio. Julie was seated at a table accompanied by a man that bore a physical resemblance to the child in my grasp. Or was I in the grasp of the child? Julie looked up as I carried her child outside and greeted me. She stood and came over to me, then taking her child, a little boy maned Tommy, she intoduced me to her husband. She also said that she took the liberty of telling Tom, that was his name, about my condition. Tom stood and we shook hands. I was offered a seat and a drink. Soon, however, I felt a pull at on my pants leg. It was the little one that I had carried through the house. Without conscious thought, I swept up the child and held Tommy on my lap. He leaned into me and wriggled around to get comfortable.

Tom was talking about work and I listened as he told an amusing anecdote about one of the teaching aides. When he paused I asked where he worked and he said that he was in the Psychology Department at the College. The talk soon drifted to other matters and Julie served a nice supper. I think it was chicken, but my mind was not on the meal. I declined the offer of a beer and had a refill of iced tea. Julie and Tom cleaned up the table and little Tommy.

A few minutes later, little Tommy was again pulling on my pants leg. I scooped him up and he wiggled to get comfortable on my lap. His head was hitting against a button on my shirt and it felt uncomfortable. Without conscious thought, I unfastened the offending button. Julie and Tom were still inside and I was just staring off into the distance.

My mind was in that place that you go to to escape thinking. You know the place. Just past Neverland. I sat quite comfortably holding Julie's son without a thought in the world. I actually felt good holding the baby. I automatically held him closer to my chest and I felt a warm good feeling wash over me. I didn't know what I was doing or how long this lasted and was interrupted by a gasp from Julie. I looked up at her with a quizzical expression on my face.

She stepped closer to me and said, "Maybe I should take him and give him his last bottle."

I said sure, and started to hand him to his mother. When I did this, I felt something pull at my chest and looked down. Tommy's lips were around my nipple and he was sucking contentedly on my breast. I was confused and started to sob. Julie sat down quietly beside me and put her arm across my shoulders. Tom chose this moment to return to the patio and when he saw what was going on, he too sat down, like someone had dropped a bag of cement. He was speechless, for which I was glad.

Julie took little Tommy and went inside. I looked over at Tom, but was embarrassed by what he had seen. I started to say something, but no words came out. Tom was looking at me with a guarded expression, then finally said, "Uh, Dana, ah, you know that Julie told me about your problem. Well maybe not all, but what she knows. Well, I was wondering if I could help you in some way."

I didn't know what he was getting at, but he explained that there were some tests that might be able to show me about changes in my body. He meant Mental changes. I was confused and as Julie came back to the patio, he excused himself and went to his office to get me a sample.

"Dana, can I say something and you won't get mad or upset with me." Julie asked not giving me time to answer. "It's just that, well, seeing you with little Tommy at your breast, it was incredible. It's like you were the perfect mother. And, God, I'd give anything to look like you looked." She caused me to blush deeply as she looked into my face. Not knowing what to say in reply, I could only think of one thing. "Thank you.", I said, then reaching for my glass I raised it in a small toast to her.

A silence began to grow between us and I made my excuses to leave. Julie asked me to stay longer, but I felt the need for solitude. Also, my chest was begining to hurt and I wanted to take a long hot shower and relax. Tom was just coming out of his office as we were approaching the front door. He smiled thinly and handed me the test he had found. "Here, look these over and if you want, you can fill in the answers. You've got our number."

I nodded.

He continued, "Call me when you're done and I'll score them for you." I thanked him and went out the door.

Julie and Tom watched as I drove off, then Julie asked Tom, "Well, what do you think?"

Tom replied," You're right, there's something special about Dana. And little Tommy could sense it too. Amazing, to think that he was actually trying to breast feed. Amazing more is the Dana didn't even seem to notice anything out of the ordinary, till you mentioned it. I hope she does the test, I can't wait to see what her profile is." Julie could only nod her head at Tom's observation.

I drove straight home. No stops, nothing. I locked the car and went inside. Auntie was sitting in the parlor and greeted me as I came in.

"Did you have a nice time, Dana?", she asked smiling. "Come have a cup of tea with an old lady."

She patted the couch seat beside her indicating where I should sit. I crossed to her and sat on the couch. She was busy pouring my tea and handed me the saucer. Mrs Stein or Auntie as she told me to call her, looked at my face and let a long slow breath.

"Well, Dana, I am surprised. You look radiant. Tell your Auntie what happened."

I sipped the tea as I gathered my thoughts. I thought about just glossing over the events of the day, but then as my mouth opened, I seemed to get verbal diarrhea. I told her everything, leaving nothing left out. She smiled, sipped her tea and nodded at the appropriate times. Auntie was not judgmental or accusing. Finally when I finished my tale, she flashed her mischievous smile and asked, "How did you feel about breast feeding their child?"

I colored again and looked up at the ceiling for my answer. Auntie laughed lightly at my discomfort, then said "It's a natural act for a woman to nurse a baby. If the parents didn't mind, then don't worry about it. One more thing though, it's a bit personal, but I do have a favor to ask." She said this softly and sincerely.

I took another drink from my tea cup, then nodded at her to continue.

Smiling, she said, "I know you said you were having, undergoing, changes with your body." She hesitated, looking at me for a reaction. Seeing none, she continued, "As I said, it is personal, but can I see the changes you have mentioned?"

I set down my tea cup and stood up, then held out my hand to help her up. When she was out of the chair, I turned and walked upstairs to my room. She followed.

I was nervous and excited. I had been living with my changed body for a several months and kept hoping that I would wake up from this nightmare. Maybe this is what I needed. I mean, someone to impartially see the changes and maybe give me a glimmer of hope. I sat down on the couch and removed my shoes and socks, then unbuttoned my shirt. I stood in my bare feet, tugged at the opening and removed my shirt. Auntie was behind me seated on my recliner, so I turned towards her.

As I faced her she let out a small gasp. I colored, but continued by unfastening my pants and removing them. Now, I was standing in my underwear and Auntie could see the CHANGES that were affecting my body. Auntie directed me to turn slowly around, stopping at each compass point.

"Dana, I know it's quite personal, but," she blushed a dark red hue and continued, "Are there any changes taking place elsewhere on your body."

Before I could answer, she directed me to put on my bathrobe. Standing in the robe, I hesitated then removed my underwear. I carefully opened the robe for her inspection. She had a curious look on her face as I stood in front of her.

"Dana, uh, can you drop your robe, please?" The way she asked piqued my curiousity and I shrugged my shoulders letting the robe fall to the floor.

Auntie exclaimed "Dana, you are stunning! Seeing you like this, au naturel, you are every bit a girl. You have a nicely developed chest area, thin waist, nicely rounded hips and a lovely tushie."

She was smiling as she said this. I guess I had not been spending any time in front of the mirror looking at my changing body. The most I could usually see were my developing chest and breast. As for the rest of my body, the changes there were a mystery to me.

Auntie stood up and stepped to me. I started to pull back, but she grasped my hand and closed the distance between us. Her free arm went around my neck and she held me tightly to her. After a few moments, she stepped back and cast her eyes downward. I followed her gaze and it took me a moment to notice that my penis had not responded to her embrace. She smiled a knowing smile.

"Dana, put your robe back on, then come with me." She waited as I picked up my robe, then turned and walked out my door. I followed hesitantly.

She led me downstairs and into her private suite of rooms, continuing on into her boudoir. The room was aptly decorated in a very mature ladyish style. She told me to set on her settee, then proceeded to take out items from her dresser and closet. She placed a bundle of clothing on the settee next to me and told me to stand. She then proceeeded to dress me in female finery, explaining the use of each item as well as answering any questions that I may have had.

When I was fully dressed, she bade me to stand in front of her full length mirror. I gasped at the reflection. A pretty girl was looking at me. She had shortish hair, a fine face, smooth neck and a figure that would drive men wild. I had to set down fast or else faint from the sight. Auntie said, "Dana, maybe it's time you called your mother. I know what you said, but Jeffery can only do so much for you. And he'll need to talk to her soon, to get to the bottom of your mystery."

"Who's Jeffery?", I asked

"Why, your doctor of course." was her reply. "You didn't know his name? Well, it's Jeffery Stein, Junior." She beamed, then continued. "Yes, Dana, Jeffery is my son. I'm sorry if I caused you any embarassment, it was not my intention. Jeffery is a good doctor and he'll get to the bottom of this. You wait and see."

The last spoken like a true mother, as mine had spoken similarily of me on several occasions. I also agreed to call my mother and ask her to come for a visit. Auntie said she had a guest room that my mother could use for the duration.
 
 
Friday
 
"Dana Carter? The doctor will see you now. This way please."

I was escorted to an empty office. Soon Dr. Stein came thru the door and took a seat at the desk. There were a million thoughts going thru my head. I wanted to shout angrily at this man. He could have told me that I was renting a room from his mother. I held my tongue. Don't offend a person trying to help you.

Looking up at me, he smiled and began, "Dana, we got the test results back and the news is not real good. I'm going to tell you what has been found and then we can discuss options."

He smiled at me again and then continued, "First, it seems that your body is not producing any male androgyns, er hormones, uh testosterone. Your testosterone level is ok, if you were a five year old boy, not good far a 19 year old male. Next, because the testosterone level in so low, your body has increased the production of female hormones, Estrogen. With this type of imbalance it is not unusual for this to happen."

He waited for me to make a comment and when I didn't, he forged ahead. "As far as your eyes are concerned, this is a condition not uncommon in nature, but the kicker is that normally this happens to more females that males. Usually by a significant ratio. The, uh,", he said as he sorted through his papers, "Ultrasound, showed almost no testicles and your penis in undersized, dramatically. Uh, you have never had an erection, have you?"

I turned red at this.

He just ignored the blush and said, "There appear to be immature female sex organs in your lower abdomen, these will bear watching and when we have stabilized you, we can make a plan to deal with them."

He looked up at the shock on my face. "Now, there is some good news. I still need to examine your perineal area, the area from you penis back to your anus, for any irregularities and we are gonna give you a skin test to see if we can administer male hormone to you. So, my assistant will take you next door and get you ready and I'll be in in a few minutes, Ok." Of course, he was not really asking for my permission, but I agreed none the less.

The assistant again did what all assistants do. I was given a gown and asked to undress and put it on. The assistant then helped me get in the correct position on the exam table and placed my feet in the stirrups. A drape sheet was placed over me and I waited for the doctor to return. The few minutes seemed like an eternity, then finally, he came into the room. He got right to work doing the exam.

"Uh hu, inguinal canals clear and open." I had felt something pushing up in me as this was said. "scrotun, small, penis flacid, small diameter, about 1 centimeter." He was holding my penis as this was said. "Foreskin intact." He pushed the foreskin onto the shaft of my penis and said,"Glans appears normal coloration, urethral opening adequate."

Dropping my penis he traced a finger from under my scrotum to my anus. "No abnormalities noted." I did however notice that the area under my scrotum was sensitive to touch and said so. He asked his assistant to reposition me to allow better access and light for a second look. The area appeared to be normal, but was tender to touch. When asked to characterize the feelings in the area, I blushed and stammered that it had felt good. I felt so cheap.

Dr, Stein said, "Dana, if you had girl's plumbing, that is close to where your vagina would be. With what is happening to your body, we'll have to watch that area. Ok, we're done with this part, now, let's get you situated and we'll do a skin test to see if you can tolerate the testosterone."

I was laying on my back looking up at a bright light. My head ached and my muscles were sore. I thought I was gonna have a simple test. What the heck was this. I tried to sit up but was held down. Dr. Stein flashed a light in my eyes and I heard him say, "Well, that didn't go as planned. So I guess we can rule out hormone replacement."

What the heck was he talking about?

I felt something on my arm and then heard, "Don't pull out that IV." 'What?' I thought, 'IV?' "Give 5 mg of Valium, IVP." I didn't know what that meant, but whatever it was, I passed out and came to several minutes later.

Dr. Stein was again checking my eyes with a tiny flashlight as I regained consciousness.

"Glad you're back, Dana." He said then continued, "Just try to relax for a few minutes, then we'll get you up, ok?" Not waiting for a reply, he spoke to another person in the room. "Mom, can you watch her tonight. I don't want her left alone, and see if you can get her mother to come up."

It seemed obvious to me that he was fixated on some female. I just wish I could go back to my room and rest, then he'd be able to take care of this "her" himself. As I was thinking this, Auntie came to my side and took my hand in hers. She squeezed it lightly and said, "Hi, Dana, feeling better now?"

I nodded my head.

"Just try to relax and we'll get you home soon. My, but you gave Jeffery a scare. Imagine a boy that does not like testosterone. Quite the girl, I'd say."

She smiled kindly at me as I lay on the table.
 


 
To Be Continued...

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Comments

Well, here is a nice little

Well, here is a nice little story that needs continuing. Dana is about to enter a whole new world and experiences, and it is apparent that several people want to help her do so. She is very fortunate to have her "Auntie", Julie, Tom and even Auntie's son, the Doctor there for her. J-Lynn

Compassion

After listening to the real life stories of those who've gone though this very kind of thing this story is very nice. Unlike many of those Dana has a compassionate and caring environment (so far) to get used to something nothing in our culture prepares us for. Very good and heartwarming to see the love and care of those around Dana.

Warm hugs!

grover

Nice start, is there to be more?

great story, very believable.

I like the characters and that the doctor(s) are trying to explore all options, not just assume he's really a woman. I'd bet he is a girl but with some significant intersex complicaion and never knew. Male or female in the end I wish your character the best as do most of the people he/she has met in college.

As the one family observed, he/she is an instinctive mother. If that is her best option I hope she has the guts and the support to suceed.

John in Wauwatos

John in Wauwatosa

I Assume...

...there's more coming. As your title implies, it's probably not coincidence that Dana's parents gave their child an androgynous name at birth; I'm guessing that the anomalies go back that far.

Eric

Please Continue

terrynaut's picture

This story begs to be finished. Please finish it. :)

I like stories where the main character is intersexed (I'm assuming that's the case here) and grew up the wrong sex out of ignorance or intolerance. There aren't many stories of that type.

Thanks for what you've written so far. I'll be watching for more.

- Terry