I woke up to the sound of the television. I poked my head out still in my nightgown and seeing Jessica realised everyone must have already left for church. I decided to shower now considering the house was mostly empty. I either shower now or I would have to wait until my afternoon change so I didn’t waste a diaper.

Jessica stopped me on my way to the bathroom and asked if I wanted breakfast. I nodded yes and when she started to get up I flashed my hand three times hoping she would realise I needed a few minutes. I didn't want to sit at the table and risk my diaper squishing out if I sat in the hard booster. She nodded and continued watching her show. She must have started when she heard the shower shut off because when I went back to my room she was not on the couch.

I put on my black skater skirt and a white cammie and white t shirt with the white bra. Simple white flats as well. I felt a bit too fancy yesterday so went with the basics...I think anyway. Eating my oatmeal Jessica said the family should be back in an hour or so.

They told her they would come get me before they did the sunday Dad stuff. Wasn't really sure what that was but I guess I was going. I really hope it's not some church thing. Robert was kind of always doing stuff in the garage or paperwork on the computer. It didn't feel like he was hiding or anything but even being here a week already I didn't know how I felt about him. I was not exactly looking forward to “dad day” but like most things in a kids life I didn't really have a choice.

It was a lot harder to sit in this skirt than the one yesterday as I quickly learned when I got onto the couch. I would have to be careful of that. Jessica and I just watched television until they got back. She turned on the last half of some show on cable with a blond girl lawyer who dressed like a fancy rich girl. Everyone treated her like she was dumb but she wasn't. She had a lot of pink too and a little dog. Somehow the pink looked right on her and got me thinking about the pink in my closet.

When everyone got back they all seemed more happy than normal. Maybe that was because they all looked extra nice in their church clothes or maybe they just really liked church. Jessica and Emily talked a bit mostly about how well church had gone and catching up on whether or not the house burned down or some lesser issue.

The twins told me that Robert was taking everyone somewhere but wouldn't tell me what we were doing. Just a big matching set of smiles which I was not exactly sure if made me feel better or worse. When they told me “You should put a pair of your tights on today or maybe even pants with one of those tunic tops and jeans.” I decided I didn't like the smiles…

Not wanting to change again I did take their advice and grabbed the black tights with white dots. I tried putting them on like socks but that didn't work. Everyone seemed to be changing out of church clothes so even if I wanted to ask someone they were doing stuff. My tablet caught my eye on the vanity and with a shrug I tried youtube. Sure enough it was there and once I seen how they did it I felt a little silly for not just figuring it out.

They felt different but nice. I felt my legs and it was a different sensation. I decided I liked it. Being for girls didn't bother me at all any more. Something about the skirt and bra maybe stopped that from being an issue. It was weird, I felt like I had on pants but at the same time not. Checking in the mirror I noticed that even if I did show my diaper it was a lot harder to see. Still totally obvious but not nearly as bad as before. This skirt was as short as the dress I had at the mall and most of that was standing. I wasn't sure if I could go all day remembering I had a skirt on yet as it's still new to me. The tights giving me a bit of camouflage and made me feel a bit more comfortable. Besides, these made my legs feel really nice. I kept running my hands on them.

When I came out the rest of the family started to trickle into the living room. In more casual clothes. The twins even had on jeans. Sunday was not only church day and dad day but also house cleaning day. Everyone picked up after themselves so I wasn't sure what cleaning we were going to do. I learned soon enough.

Robert did the bathroom and Emily did the kitchen. The twins were dusting and vacuuming. Cindy had it easy as she had to make sure that anything that was misplaced got put back as well as empty the trash cans from the rooms and bathroom. I was glad that I took my diapers out daily so it didn't smell. I really didn't want her to have to deal with that. I was handed a pair of blue gloves and a couple rags as well as some spray can. I was to clean all the wooden furniture with the polish.

I didn't have to cover every inch of it, mostly just the tops. Taking the things off and cleaning it then putting the stuff back. The kitchen table was a little hard as it was so much bigger than I was but in maybe an hour everyone was mostly done. It was surprising how quick it all happened. Everyone just did their job and that was that.

We had a quick lunch after and everyone had fun teasing me with how much fun I was going to have but nobody would tell me what we were going to do. Even Cindy kept quiet despite my pleading eyes. Emily reminded me to bring my purse as we got ready to leave. Being dad day she would stay home. Soon we were all in Emily’s car as hers had the car seats and heading to some unknown destination.

The twins were way too happy. They kept saying how excited they were and I would totally love it and maybe they should blindfold me just for the big reveal. What! Thankfully Robert shot down the blindfold idea before it really got started. Points for him. I couldn't think of anything that I would like nearly enough to justify their excitement. Apparently it was “such a rush” and “too much fun” I was half expecting to pull up to a small plane and hear we were going to jump out of it, which I quickly decided would cause me to run far and run fast if it were the case.

It took a little while to get there but eventually we pulled into a large parking lot. I think Robert intentionally drove in such a way that I couldn't see the building. Being in the middle of an suv and strapped into a car seat that wasn't the hardest thing to do. Eventually we parked and got out. Robert took Cindy’s hand and the twins each took a side next to me as we followed Robert inside. The too happy to not be evil looks on the girls faces made me feel that their walking on either side of me was to latch on should I make a break for it. Yeah, even if we were not jumping out of a plane, something here was likely going to kill me I just knew it. And I was trapped.

It wasn't skydiving, not parasailing or even bungee jumping thank god. Go Karts. Holy crap go karts. When I could read the name of the place I figured it out. I stopped walking for a second and the girls started jumping.

“Ever been on a go kart before?” Faith asked. Wide eyes and a slow head shake conveyed my NO.

“Your going to love it, It's really safe. You get a helmet and everything.” Grace added to “reassure me”. Knowing it was something I needed a helmet for had a different reaction.

When we got in Robert asked me if I would try it and let me know I didn't have too. The look on the twins told me that I really only had one correct choice however. Against my better judgement I nodded yes that I would at least try it. Honestly it did sound cool. I might even be excited if not for the needing a helmet part. Faith took Cindy’s hand and the four of us went to go see the track while Robert got us the tickets.

There were some seats next to the track and even a couple televisions with different parts of the tracks. There even seemed to be another screen showing lap times and a leaderboard. The other people seemed excited. There was a group of older boys talking loudly with each other about the last race as they shared driving tips and the best way to take a turn. A table off to one side had a larger group with balloons for a birthday party. It looked like a kids party but they were all adults. Everyone was focused on the screens so I guess they were all watching their kids race.

Before I could finish looking around Grace called me over to a good spot where we could see the track. As I got closer I could start to really see the cars. They were electric so it was quiet. They looked clean and shiney and yes everyone had a helmet on. The cars were also fast. Like really fast. Not like fast for a go kart for kids fast but like fast as in crap that's way too fast fast. Fast like if they were to drive down our street they would be speeding fast. Fast like I have no idea how to drive and I'm gonna crash fast.

At first the idea of go karts did sound really cool. What kid wouldn't want to drive a go kart. I was even kind of excited. The helmet thing was a joke, they were just trying to scare me. Their not going to let kids drive something that you need a helmet for. Most likely the helmet was to make it feel more real or something if there even were helmets. I was so wrong. I wanted to try it but I don't know about this, these were really fast. I didn't want to crash and I didn't want to go too slow and have someone crash into me. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. My face must have given my doubt away.

“It's alright Avery.” Grace said. “It looks faster than it is and you don't need to go full speed.”

“You gotta try it though.” Faith said. “I understand why you might not want to, but if you don't...You know your going to regret it.”

“It's totally safe to.” Grace added. “You need the helmet but with the harness you can't really fall out and the cars are too low to really flip over or anything.”

“Also the walls have springs and stuff on them so even if you hit them it won't hurt or anything.” Faith continued.

“Yeah Faith hits the walls a lot” Grace said while poking her twin. Her comment earned a surprisingly wicked glare from said twin. Honestly I was impressed, and it was funny.

“Even Cindy’s going.” Faith said turning the focus off of what must be a rather entertaining story about her crashing. “Dad’s going to drive her, they got a special car for two people. You can go alone though.”

I wasn't sure if I wanted to go at all, the idea of Robert driving me around the track didn't exactly make me feel better or worse.

“Faith was right though.” Grace finished as Robert started to walk over. “If you don't try, you will wish you did.”

They were right. This was a cool chance to do something that did look like it would be really fun. Even if the cars did go a bit too fast, I didn't have to go that fast. If I didn't go surely I would hear how great it was from the twins for the rest of the day and wish I at least tried.

“Got the tickets. We have about a half hour wait yet.” Robert said as he came up to us. “You don't have to do this Avery, I know it might seem a bit much and it's alright if you want to sit it out. Don't let my girls talk you into it if you don't want to do it.”

I guess I must have still looked a bit nervous because he already asked me if I wanted to do it before he got the tickets. I looked up at him and tried to put on a smile I think looked fake and just nodded a yes.

“That's a girl, your going to have a lot of fun.” Robert said with a big smile.

I wish I was as sure as he was but looking at the grin on Cindy’s face I kind of believed him. If she was excited certainly it would be alright for me to at least try it. We killed some of the wait watching everyone race. I even watched the safety talk the workers give at the beginning of each race. Robert bought all of us some giant pretzels and we all gave him a look as he put mustard on his. All too soon it was our turn though.

Before I knew it I was sitting inside the car and one of the workers moved the seat all the way forward and even put some wedge thing behind it. He also added some blocks to the pedals and once the harness was on he made sure I could easily reach the pedals and push them down all the way. I could but if they were an inch farther maybe I would be able to get out of this.

After watching a bit I decided it was not going to be too bad. Everyone seemed to really like it and I seen some other kids not much bigger than me laughing about how great it was. In the car myself though I was having second thoughts and was almost ready to unhook the seat belt and get out when the guy started the safety talk. I looked over in the other row where Faith was turning around to see me with a big thumbs up and grinning eyes. I was the last car in my row with a person in it. I made sure I was last because this way if I go slow maybe they won't notice me. Robert and Cindy were next to me in the two seated car and Cindy was bouncing excitedly hanging onto the bar in front of her.

Before I knew it the light turned green and everyone started going. I hit the gas and the car rocketed off way faster than I was expecting. I got out of the starting area before I remembered where the break was and changed to that pedal. The car also stopped way faster than I was expecting. Cindy turned as they zoomed past leaving me behind. I pushed the gas again this time not quite as much.

The first couple turns I was getting the hang of it and I think I might have been going half speed even. This was fun. I'm driving. Holy crap I'm driving a go kart. Now that I was on the track it didn't seem as hard to see the turns and stuff as I thought it would be. After a couple more turns my speed kept picking up and I was loving it. When I went around another corner and noticed I was on the big straight away I hammered the pedal all the way down.

The car rocketed off but this time I was ready for it. I tightened my grip on the wheel and grinned. My eyes were huge with excitement and as I got to the far side at what must have been over a hundred miles an hour I didn't even slow down. I just leaned in and turned the wheel as sharp as I could.

I guess it's good that I wasn't really going one hundred miles an hour...The car spun out and I shrieked out loud with an Eeep! The back end of the car hit the wall that a moment ago was in front of me marking the end or the straight. It was kind of a loud thump but it didn't hurt at all. One of the workers looked a little mad and was waving a flag at me gesturing with his other hand to slow down. It took maybe a half second for me to realise I was not dead and then with all power to guns I dropped the hammer. Ready now and more than willing I was back in the race.

It took a few more turns to get use to the breaks and gas. I didn't hit any more walls but I kept slowing down way too much. I noticed I was only a couple more turns away from the straight away again. I started to try doing the turns like I had seen earlier watching the other people and some of what I heard people saying was running thru my head.

I almost shrieked again when a car zoomed past me on my left. I freaked out and hit the breaks a little when two more zoomed past. Those were the twins! They just passed me. Before the thought even finished in my head my foot was welded down and I shot off after them. Another turn and we were on the straight. I was starting to catch up. I don't know if my car is faster or just because I'm so much smaller but I gained a little on them. Coming to the end I went wide I put my foot over the break but didn't push it so much. I turned a bit slower following how the girls did it and what I had heard. Thankfully I didn't hit the wall again but I took that corner way faster than I wanted too. I didn't care, nothing can stop me now. I'm gonna catch them!

Every straight away I got a little closer. I lost some of it in the turns but my car was faster. I got em. I can just see the looks on their faces when I pass them like they did me. How great it's going to be when I win. Their going to be so mad. I pictured myself standing on some podium somewhere with a huge trophy over my head and the twins bowing at my feet. I could already hear them begging me to tell them how I can go so much faster than they can and how good I was.

I'm a natural. I bet I could be a professional. Maybe I could be some famous race car driver for a living. That would be so cool. Their getting closer now. I can feel it, the turns talk to me. A little to the left, then hug the inside. A little faster. Come out closer to the far wall. Keep the speed, tap the break for this turn. The big straight. Just a couple more laps and...My car started slowing down. So did the girls cars. Looking around everyones did. The end of the race announcement was going off. It was over, already? I sighed, a couple more turns found me pulling into the stall where we started again. Still behind the girls. Robert and Cindy came in a couple seconds after me. I didn't realise they were so close.

When all the cars were stopped everyone started unbuckling and getting out. I did as well. Alright, maybe I'm not a pro yet. Technically I was a lap behind them and all...but the first one don't count. They did this before after all. As we got out there were a lot more people here now. The place was almost crowded even. We met up and walked over to where we were watching when we first got in.

Everyone had a huge smile. Even Robert and Cindy. I think Cindy might get a cramp if she keeps that face too long even. They all turned to me and Grace started first. “So, tell me that wasn't one of the most fun things you ever did.” I couldn't stop smiling and just nodded quickly like a goofy fool.

“You were gaining on Grace, few more laps and you would have passed her.” Faith said.

“Only because you were slowing me down.” Grace shot back.

Faith laughed and even stuck her tongue out at her twin which got a very happy giggle out of Cindy. I even laughed. That got everyone's attention. They never really heard me make a noise much more than a sigh or small giggle. Never a full laugh. Can't remember when I laughed like that or ever felt this happy and excited. That was indeed a ton of fun.

“Can we go again daddy?” Faith asked and Grace followed with a “Please” accompanied with twin puppy eyes and folded pleading hands. Robert looked to Cindy who only added her own pleading hands and sad eyes. He turned to me and all I could do was match my sisters. Folding my hands and giving my best hopeful eyes. Robert was cornered, he really had no chance. If I didn't want to go again I might feel sorry for him...maybe.

“I'll go see how long the wait is.” Robert said. “No promises. There's a lot of people here and you know your mother will be mad if we are too late for dinner.” Everyone nodded both happy we might go again and sad. Given the choice I think everyone would be fine with a late dinner but nobody was willing to make Emily mad. Not even for another race. If it was going to take too long we would just have to wait for another day. I was never expecting something like this, so I guess I can't really complain.

“Good news and bad news.” Robert started as he came back some time later. “Bad news is the wait is over an hour.” Everyone's face sunk a little. Was that too long to get home on time? We can't just sit here for over an hour just to go again can we… “Good news is that gives us enough time for a round of mini golf while we wait. I already sent Emily a message on when we should be home so we shouldn't get in trouble.”

Everyone cheered and the twins high fived. Cindy and I looked at each other and did as well if with a bit less force. Grace was shaking her hand a little but that did nothing to dim her smile. Robert took Cindy’s hand and we started off to where the mini golf was. Whatever mini golf is anyway. I never heard of it. If it was like golf on television than why were the other girls so excited about it. With a shrug to myself I decided that if they liked it than it can't be too bad. They were totally right about the go karts. Had I backed out of that, I would have totally regretted it. Still riding my high I decided I'll just trust my new sisters that mini golf was fun. Maybe I'll be good at it like the go karts. I wonder if I can beat the twins this time even.

I suck at mini golf. First of all, it's totally dark. Everything is black except some pictures and the holes and obstacles that are all painted with glowing paint. Some of it looked really good honestly. It was sort of like golf on television. Well we all got a club and a little ball anyway. Instead of some big field or whatever they set it up to drive people crazy instead. The first couple were not so bad. The calm before the storm. You had to bounce the ball around a corner or two or maybe over some small humps to get to the hole. Faith and Grace took turns keeping score.

Then once you started to get some idea on what you were doing they added things that were never on television. Well, to be fair I didn't really watch it on television but if this kind of stuff was there maybe more people would. There was one hole with a loop you had to make the ball go around. Except for me, every time I tried it would go in wrong and it would spit the ball back out on the starting side again. I have no idea how many times it took before I finally got the ball onto the other side.

Another hole had a windmill that would block the ball if you didn't time it right. If you tried to hard to time it though you would miss the little tunnel anyway and have to try again. Another had way too many hills and you had to circle around so that you almost ended where you started. Bouncing the ball off the little brick walls. One had a mountain with a narrow bridge you had to hit it just right to get over only for the ball to go down a tube and come out a moving tube on the other side that would spit the ball in some random direction.

Despite my total lack of skill. Everyone else was only a little better. We all had one or two holes we did really really bad on. About half way in I was starting to get mad about the whole thing. When Robert did really bad on a hole though and laughed it off I realised I was looking at this all wrong. This wasn't about doing really well and winning. It was just a silly game made to let us all laugh at each other.

Once I started realising that nobody was good and we all looked silly it ended up being fun. I don't think I ever played a game where it was alright to laugh at other people and be laughed at as well. Laughing at someone or being laughed at was usually the beginning of some kind of fight or some other trouble. This was all normal for the Nelsons. I wonder what it would have been like If I could have been in a home like this all those years ago. Would I be normal too?

When the game finally ended Grace added up the scores then holding the card up asked “Anybody care?” As she looked around nobody shook their head yes and she just tossed the card in the trash. That was it. Nobody cheering for winning or picking on someone for being bad or anything. As we started walking back to the go karts I looked into the can and seen the card. There were tons of marks on it. One for each swing in groups of four with a fifth slash across it. At the bottom where the total was supposed to be she just wrote nine in each of the boxes. We all had a score of nine and there were nine holes. I know I took more than nine swings on more than one hole alone. I hurried to catch up to everyone. It was a little scary, I really like these people.

We waited around for another few minutes for our turn on the track again. Everyone's excitement was slowly building. By the time we were back in the cars I could hardly wait. I wanted to tell the guy going over the rules to just get on with it already. Can't he see we have the need to speed! Quit trying to keep us down and hold us back. Just start the ….Go.

This time much like last time my car took off like a rocket. Unlike last time I was ready for it and didn't hold back. The twins and I were neck and neck for most of the race. I even almost passed them on one of the straights but took the end turn bad and lost it again. It was too hard to try passing on most of the track. You had to mostly hope the person in front of you would mess up but after a couple laps I knew that wasn't likely. This time though, I didn't need to win. This time I was just having fun. I wasn't racing against my sisters this time. I was racing with them and it was wonderful. With that though Kelly’s voice echoed in my head “I found you a new home and it's going to be wonderful.”

The ride home was filled with happy girls laughing and remembering the day. Another amazing fun day that was better than I would have hoped for. Was this what most people did all the time? Was this what being a kid was supposed to be like? Is there some way, any way I could keep this? To really have a family, sisters parents and fun memories to look back on?

When we got home Emily was already setting dinner out on the table. We washed up and sat down to say grace. Once food was passed around everyone went back through the day again telling Emily about all the fun times we had.

We all wound down and gathered for the nightly movie. Per usual Cindy fell asleep sometime before it ended. After I got ready for bed I was mostly just laying on my bed in my nightgown. Looking at the pictures Ashley gave me. I hope she is as happy where she is as I am here. If we could have found a place like this maybe we wouldn't need to dream about all those far away places she draws.

Rolling over and pulling up the covers I turned off the lamp next to my bed. I started to think of how I could stay here, if there was some way to tell them. I pushed that aside. Today was too nice to ruin with all that. Instead I started to replay all the fun we had again. At some point sleep came.