Weeping Willow - Part 13

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Weeping Willow
Part 13

Amanda

by **Sigh**
Copyright© 2019 plaintivesigh
All Rights Reserved.

“Son, the next time you set foot in this building, I expect you to be wearing slacks, a jacket and a tie. How dare you flaunt what you’re doing in God’s face, in our faces! Dress right, or don’t come back!”

Willow looked right back at him plaintively. “And if I do come back like this … ?”


~o~O~o~

NOTE TO READERS

Well, this has never happened before. I try to make a point of finishing a story before I start to post it, so most all of the work is done and I don't risk having an unfinished story (a pet peeve of mine) here on BC. But this story has defied my attempts to finish it. I have received input from readers about how they wish "this thing" was in the story, and others about how "that thing" should have been addressed; look, the story is the story, and if I'm happy with it, then take it or leave it. But twice now as I've prepared to wrap this up, Willow keeps coming up with unresolved stuff that I want to address. I evidently am no longer in control of it; it has control of me. So, I'm continuing this story. It may end with part 14. But who knows anymore? I sure don't. Sorry if my inconsistency is frustrating you.

Oh, and as for part 14: I need a break from the writing. So it won't be here tomorrow. It may take up to a week? But I hope not. Just watch the BC list, and it'll happen when it happens. As always, I appreciate you. **Sigh**

~o~O~o~

Late July.

Dr. Estrada was seeing Willow for her counseling; these visits had lessened to every 4 weeks, though the injections were still every 2. Today the teenager’s mother was waiting out in the lobby while Willow and the doc had a private session.

“So tell me, Willow. How are you doing? Now that you’re out in public more, have there been any problems? I understand you and Bernard are still dating. Has he had any blowback from his parents or friends regarding his dating a trans girl?”

“His mom’s not thrilled,” admitted Willow. “I think she wants natural grandkids between her son and a daughter-in-law. She isn’t rude to me when I’m at his house, but she’s not warm either. Bernard’s going to move out as soon as he finishes trade school; he’s going to be an auto mechanic.”

“And Bernard’s father?”

“He’s just not around much. I’ve seen him like, once this summer – and he was heading out the door to his second job. I’m worried; what if he has a woman on the side? Even though Bernard’s relationship with his dad is getting more distant, if his folks divorce I’m afraid it would crush him.”

“So, that’s stressful for you. How are your emotions doing? I especially want to know about anger.”

Willow smiled. “I work every day on my spiritual program, doc. I’ve been through the 12 steps and am still working on the maintenance program. I’ve got nearly 10 months off of any alcohol or drugs now; and neither Angry Bill nor Willy the Dude have popped up since the Rico incident in January. Aren’t you proud of me?”

“I’ve always been proud of you, young one. But that doesn’t relieve me of my duty of making sure you stay grounded. So tell me; what do you and Bernard do on your dates?”

“Ummm …” Willow blushed bright red. “We don’t have sex. Yet. I mean, most people wouldn’t call it sex. Uh, I guess you could say –“

“No, no Willow! That’s not what I meant. Although when you decide to “do it”, no matter who it’s with, I expect you to practice safe sex. We’ve talked about that. No, what I mean is what activities do you two do? Where do you go?”

“OH!” Willow exhaled with relief. “We’ve done a lot! Last month we visited Carlsbad Caverns. We’ve gone sand surfing at White Sands; last week he took me for dinner at Chala’s Wood Fire Grill, and we went to a movie afterward. He’s a great boyfriend.”

“Chala’s,” contemplated Estrada. “That’s in Las Cruces, correct?”

“Yes, sir. Have you been? It’s excellent!”

“Willow, all of your activities seem to be in New Mexico. Are you purposely avoiding El Paso?”

Willow suddenly got quiet as she considered his question. “Well … when school starts I won’t be able to do as much out-of-state traveling …”

“Young one, in a month you’ll be experiencing life as a trans girl in high school, suddenly surrounded by peers who previously knew you only as a boy – a drug dealer, no less. Are you afraid of running across them right now?”

Willow felt shaky inside and her breathing quickened. She immediately identified the emotion. “Omigod. I do fear it! I guess I’ve been unconsciously avoiding any uncomfortable situations. I’ve not been to the mall since I got my prom dress!”

“So, this is a valley you need to walk through – better sooner than later. Let’s see if you can go public in your home city and survive any turmoil it produces.”

“Okay, okay. I get it, doc. Will do. Even though I’m nervous about it.”

~o~O~o~

“Father, your 2 o’clock is here. Mrs. Eiken and her child. Shall I send them in?”

Father Joseph Wilson removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes. This promised to be one of the more uncomfortable moments he’d experienced as head minister of Chula Vista Episcopal Church, and he wasn’t looking forward to it. “Yes, Marie. Please send them back.”

He stood up as two people entered his office – one female and a person who appeared to be one. “Gwen – welcome. And welcome to you, too; you must be Willow, correct?”

“Yes, Father,” the teen replied as she shook his hand.

“Have a seat please, both of you. Now; I think I know what it is, this issue you want to discuss. But let me hear it from you, ma’am.” He pointed his open palm towards Gwen.

“Father. I assume you know my child’s status. It was all over the news during prom season, and I’ve heard the poorly-hidden whispers in the foyer after services. My daughter Willow was formerly my son Bill. And she wants to start attending services here with me and the rest of my family.”

“I see. Is that all?”

Gwen was surprised. “Yes, that’s pretty much it.”

“I have no problem with her attending services. You are welcome here, Willow.”

The girl blinked. “Wow! That was easy.”

“Yes, your attendance is welcome. As long as that’s all you intend.”

Gwen’s eyes narrowed. “Explain.”

“What I mean is this: Chula Vista is a house of worship. I don’t want it used to push an agenda, or for political posturing. The church leadership has a stance that gays, lesbians, and transgenders are practicing sinful acts in God’s sight. Now, the church is supposed to be here to help sinners; I see us more like a hospital than as a spotless museum of icons. All sinners – including me – are welcome to come here to seek God and hear his truth. But I don’t want anyone actively promoting LGBT positions as if we were “all right” with it. No pink-and-blue flags, no GLAAD meetings, no outlandishly inappropriate dressing. Did you have any of this in mind as you came here today?”

Gwen opened her mouth but Willow beat her to the response. “Can I wear a Sunday dress? Or is that “outlandishly inappropriate”?”

“I personally would prefer you wear pants of some kind, Willow. Having said that, if you show up in a dress, I will defer any judgment or action to the church elders. Expect some negative feedback from other church members, too; I cannot control how they feel.”

“No, but you can affect it,” Gwen asserted. “If you announced from the pulpit that Willow was to be accepted and treated as any other church member, that would help a lot. Even if you said that our job as Christians is to love and not judge; you wouldn’t necessarily have to mention her name to do that.”

“It’s the acceptance part I have trouble with, Mrs. Eiken. We accept sinners, but not the sin. I will not be a part of turning a blind eye to behavior that is sinful.”

“But you guys allow drug addicts to come here and hold their NA meetings,” Willow urged. “Heck, some of them come to your services and help with various volunteer things!” She was thinking especially of Bernard and his position at the soundboard in the balcony.

“Yes we do, Willow; but all of those drug addicts acknowledge that it’s wrong behavior, and they are committed to quitting! We support their efforts. I would be very supportive of you if you acknowledged that your attempt to become a woman was wrong, and if you were seeking help to quit it.”

Gwen exhaled. “I was afraid of this, honey. The central El Paso Episcopal church follows the National Leadership and accepts trans people. I guess we’ll have to move our family to there.”

“No, Momma,” she whispered. “All my NA friends - and Bernard - attend here!” She then turned to father Wilson. The girl’s eyes got slightly watery, but her face was pure determination. “I’m going to attend services here, Father. I will probably be wearing a proper church-going dress. Let the members talk; let the elders judge. I will be the perfect, respectful church girl, not doing anything to ‘stir the pot’ except showing up.” Willow stood, and pulled her mother up by her hand. “I’ll see you Sunday, Father.”

“Very well, young man. I’ll see you then.”

Willow’s head jerked around to stare at the minister. Her face began to show fury, but then a calm serenity slowly transformed her to where her visage was relaxed and showing a sweet smile. “It’s young lady, please. God bless you, Father.” With that, both women left the office.

~o~O~o~

Grandpa John was asleep, having been put to bed right after supper. The rest of the Eiken family was at the dinner table. Bernard Andujar, Willow’s boyfriend, attended also.

“Before we get started,” said William, “how about a round of applause for your Mom’s supper tonight? Green chile sour cream chicken enchiladas. Honey, that’s my new favorite.”

“You say that after every new dish I serve,” Gwen smirked.

“And I really mean it each time!” he smiled. Then his face got serious. “Okay. We’re here to discuss what the plan is for Monday. Willow’s first day of high school as Willow. Angie, Bernard – what do you think she should expect?”

“Oh, I think some kids will make trouble for her,” said Angie. “Not most, but enough that she’ll have to always keep both eyes open. Nasty comments will happen for sure. Physical violence? I don’t know. And that’s what scares me; I really don’t know. I just know that at the end of last year, after the prom, I got teased and shoved just for being related to Willow.”

Bernard added more. “There are some tough dudes that she’ll have to watch out for. I know, because they threatened to beat me up once they learned we were friends. You need to stay in well-populated places on campus, dudette.”

“How can I avoid them?” fretted Willow. “I don’t even know what they look like yet.”

“I called the administration to make sure they know all of the people Angie and Bernard are talking about,” said Gwen. “Still, I wish one of us could be there. I can’t leave Grandpa alone in the house. Angie, is there any way … ?”

“My UTEP classes have already started, but that’s not the obstacle. Montclair doesn’t want me, a recent grad, to be roaming the halls protecting a student. So they refused to give me a hall pass. They think with their cameras they can prevent anything. They may document it, but prevent? I don’t think so.”

“I faced the same roadblock,” piped Bern. “I almost wish now I had flunked senior year so I could be back there to protect you, babe.”

“Guys, this is real life for me now,” sighed Willow. “I just need to face it. I can handle the talk and the looks. The only part I’m not sure about is getting beaten up. It would be nice to have a bodyguard to keep me out of trouble, but I guess –“

“I’ll do it.”

The whole assembly turned to where that voice came from. Gwen addressed the speaker.

“Malachi, are you sure? You’ll be just a freshman!”

“Mom, look at me. I know I’m only 14, but did you notice my growth spurt this year?” The young man stood up to show his full 6’1” height.

“Dude,” said Bernard. “You’ll have to have a real badass attitude to pull this off. These guys are upperclassmen, and they intimidate anyon - URK!“

Bernard’s “urk” was due to Malachi grabbing his coat by the lapels and pulling the older boy face-to-face. “HEY! Are you the piece of trash who’s threatening my sister? ARE YOU??”

Bernard smiled nervously. “That’ll do, dude. That’ll do!”

~o~O~o~

It was the Sunday before the first day of school at Montclair High. Most teenage churchgoers would be thinking about what was to happen on Monday. But thoughts of class were now superseded by the sight of a girl standing in the foyer of Chula Vista Episcopal.

Said girl wore a modest knee-length dress with pretty ruffled sleeves; it was a pastel mint sage color. She stood by her family as her mother and father greeted their friends there. Some people were formally introduced to the girl, who courteously shook hands with them; she even gave a hug to an older gracious woman. None of the teens present approached her. One young girl angrily elbowed her boyfriend for staring a little too long.

Willow stood and twiddled her fingers as she grinned nervously. Smile, smile. You’re glad to be here. Make a good impression.

“You doing okay, daughter?” Gwen side-whispered.

“So far,” breathed Willow. “Where’d bro and sis go?”

“Mal’s gone to the teen church, and Angie’s sitting in the young adults' group. Poppa and I are going to the sanctuary to take our seats now. You’ll be going upstairs, right?”

“Yeah. Bernard should be already up there at the soundboard. I’ll see you guys back here after it’s over!” Willow walked quickly to the balcony steps, and up them. Reaching the top, she scanned the upper seats and saw her boyfriend.

“Hey!” she chirped, her face beaming as she sat by Bern.

“Man, I must’a died and gone to heaven,” he said. “Because this is surely an angel sitting next to me.”

“Oh, stop,” Willow chided. “Wait. No, actually, keep it up. I think I love it.”

The worship began. Traditional songs accompanied by organ were played and sung. Prayers and statements were read, with the congregation saying “amen” in unison at times. Then Father Wilson came to the podium.

He spoke on Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount out of Matthew; He barely got one-third of the way through the first chapter before the time came to end the service.

“So, Jesus said that stuff. That didn’t sound too bad to me. Where were all the 'thou shalt nots'?" asked Willow as the crowd began to disband.

“I liked that too, Willow. At least in that part of the Bible, Jesus sounds a lot like the Higher Power that we follow in NA.”

“I remember when you first mentioned the letters 'HP' to me. You spoke about him like he was a real person, and was helping you. To be honest, I thought you were a little flaky there. But now I know what you mean. Boy, do I! If it weren’t for my HP, I’d have relapsed on drugs and probably be back in Juvie.”

“So how was your first time at church as Willow?”

“Not bad – I liked it! And being next to you? I LOVED it!”

“I’ve got to secure the board here for next Sunday. I’ll text you tonight as always, OK? I won’t make it too late because tomorrow’s your first day back at school.”

“I shall await your message, my hero. Bye!” With that, Willow hopped down the stairs. “Well! This was a wonderful morning,” she muttered to herself as she descended. As she stepped onto the floor level, a large hand grabbed her left upper arm. She turned her head to see a balding middle-aged man invading her personal space. He had rage written all over him.

“Son, the next time you set foot in this building, I expect you to be wearing slacks, a jacket, and a tie. How dare you flaunt what you’re doing in God’s face, in our faces! Dress right, or don’t come back!”

Willow looked right back at him plaintively. “And if I do come back like this … ?”

“DON’T,” the man growled. He then looked to his right and his left and skulked away.

Willow felt the sting of the rebuke, even though it was undeserved. Her eyes squinted shut and her mouth puckered as she felt the words slowly ebb. “So much for the “wonderful morning”. Spoke too soon,” she said under her breath.

As she stood there, she felt a hand once more grab her left upper arm. She quickly reacted – “Hey! Sir, leave me alone!” Then she saw to whom the hand belonged. It was a teenage girl with an anxious face.

“You’re Willow, right? The transsexual?”

“Who wants to know?”

“I need you to follow me. Hurry!” The girl then took off running down the hallway that led to the church classrooms.

As Willow ran, the hallway got progressively darker. They were shutting down the building lights. Either that or I’m running into a trap, she worried.

The girl she was following stopped in front of a classroom door, and opened it. The room was pitch black except for a slim window that let in a little light from the outside. “Go in there,” panted the anxious teen.

Willow balked. “Uh-uh. No way. You’ve got a bunch of dudes in there ready to beat on me.” She started to turn and run back to the foyer.

“NO! No, please! It’s my little brother! You’re the only one!” anxious girl urged.

Willow still wanted to run. But something in this desperate gal rang as authentic. HP, what do I do?

In her mind she heard Dr. Estrada’s voice: face your fear, keep on walking. Then in Julia’s voice: you can’t stay clean and sober unless you reach out to those in need; it may mean taking a risk.

Okay, HP. But if I get killed, I’m blaming you.

She stepped into the dark room and felt for a light switch. Finding one, she turned it on.

There in one of the classroom chairs sat a young boy, maybe about ten or eleven years old. He had obviously been crying. But now he looked with wonder at this girl who had entered.

“Are you Willow? The girl from the Action 6 News prom thing? Your eyes look different.”

“Yeah, I can’t reproduce that professional smoky eye just yet. Who are you?”

“I’m … Amanda.”

“Amanda?!”

The boy began to cry, and rose out of his chair. He ran to Willow and grabbed ahold of her waist as he bawled uncontrollably. Willow gradually realized what was happening. She wrapped her arms around the youth and squeezed tight.

"Amanda ... you're like me, aren't you?" whispered Willow.

The child nodded her head and continued to weep,

Through her sobs, Amanda recounted how she’d known she was a girl for as long as she could remember. Her parents, especially her father, wouldn’t allow it and had punished her for mentioning it. She felt trapped and desperate. The only one she had to confide in was her sister.

“Well, Amanda; now you’ve got me to talk to, also,” Willow assured him with a tight squeeze.

“But how can we do that?”

“Do you have a cell phone? Give me your number.”

Willow called the number Amanda gave her.

“There. Now we’ve got each other in our phones. Text me later when it’s safe, maybe after you’ve gone to bed, okay?” whispered Willow.

Amanda and her sister left so their father wouldn’t get angry trying to find them. Willow went back to the church foyer, where the rest of her family was waiting.

“Hey there, Weeping Willow. What are you crying about now?” Angie asked.

“Oh! Yeah, I guess I have been,” Willow sniffed. “Don’t worry. These are tears of thankfulness. I think God’s using me to do some good stuff. It’s about time; I’ve screwed up so much of my life, I needed to start canceling some of it out.”

~o~O~o~

The next day – the first day of school this Fall semester at Montclair High.

“Hello, class. This is Basic Geometry, what you could call Geometry 101. I’m your teacher, Ms. Moscowitz. You say it like I just said it, and you spell it like I’ve written on the dry erase board here.

“Before we start today’s lesson, I want to introduce you to one of your fellow students. Actually, it’s a re-introduction; this student was Bill Ramos in his freshman year. He’s been gone for the last part of freshman year and all of his sophomore year. Now he’s back, but he’s no longer a “he”. I’m speaking of Willow Ramos. Willow, could you come up here, please?

“You may remember her from TV news PromPosal feature last spring. In any event, she has graciously agreed to stand here and meet you all, and answer questions you may have. Because once I start my lesson, there will be no murmuring or talking, understand? Also, keep the questions respectful, free of profanity, and free of any sexual talk. Otherwise? Detention.”

“What do you consider a sexual question?” one smart-aleck in the back yelled.

“If you’re wondering if your question is sexual – THEN IT IS, SO KEEP YOUR TRAP SHUT,” dictated Ms. Moscowitz. “All right, Willow. Shall we proceed?”

Willow nodded. Boy, if all of my teachers are like this, it may be a smooth running semester, she thought.

~o~O~o~

“Father Wilson. Your 4 o’clock appointment is here.”

“Yes. Mrs. Eiken and Willow. Go ahead and send them back.”

The mother and daughter entered the room and exchanged quick pleasantries.

“So, you two. I saw you were at services on Sunday. Was there a problem?”

“Well, some middle-aged man grabbed my arm and threatened me. But I think he was trying to scare me off more than anything,” Willow responded. “I’m really here for another reason.”

Willow told of her encounter with Amanda, being careful not to name names.

“So, I’ve been texting back and forth with her every day this week.”

“What are you telling me this for?” asked the Father.

“A few reasons. One, I don’t want to conceal from you this new relationship I have with a young church member. I don’t want you thinking I’m going behind your back. I didn’t ‘win her over to the trans side’; I just responded to her urgent plea.

“Two, I would appreciate it if you would consider talking to this girl’s father. He needs to know it’s not okay to threaten his child with physical punishment, or with being disowned. According to this child, that’s what has happened. I have to believe that Jesus wouldn’t be okay with that. Would you talk to the father if I told you his name?”

“Perhaps," answered the minister. "However, I ask that you stop texting with this boy. You’re not a licensed church minister, and you’re interfering with the parent-child relationship.”

Willow calmly addressed that statement. “She’s not a boy; she’s a girl. And I wasn’t acting as a minister; it’s just coincidence that we met inside a church. All of our contact since has been via text when we’re in our homes. As to this parent-child relationship? It needs to be interfered with. This girl is suffering; she’s the kid you read about in the obituaries, killing themselves before they get out of high school.”

The Father grunted in frustration. “You’re asking me, once again, to accept a trans–“

“No, I’m not,” interrupted Willow. “You don’t have to accept anything. I’ll do the accepting. What I need you to do is exercise your influence on the girl’s father. Get him to back off the threats. Tell him and teach him to love his kid unconditionally, in spite of their disagreements. You don’t have to tell him that the TV transgender girl is talking with his kid; in fact, DON’T tell him.”

Father Wilson once again removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes; he sighed heavily.

Willow smiled and leaned over to grasp the minister’s hand. “Father. Just re-read that Sermon on the Mount thing you talked about on Sunday. You know the right thing to do. Be brave, and do it! I’ll be so proud of you.”

“All right. Give me the man’s name. I’ll do my best to help, young ma-“

He caught himself. “ah … young lady.”

Willow smiled big. “See? I’m proud of you already!”

~o~O~o~

To be continued ... well, my statement at the beginning.

If you've made it this far, please leave a comment! Don't make me reach through the screen and tweak your nose!

Thanks for reading!

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Comments

The Story May End

littlerocksilver's picture

… at the last chapter, but life goes on. No one will complain as you bring the story to an end. Their lives will go on. We'll just know what direction they're taking. Basically, we just want to be comfortable with the probable outcome. I'd suggest they change churches, but I'm not sure of the alternatives available.

Portia

The only problem with the church change

Is that Bernard and a lot of her NA friends are there. And now, she has a desperate friend in Amanda. I think Willow is going to try to achieve "change from within" at this church. As long as middle aged balding man and any like him keep to themselves.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Enjoyed this

I enjoyed this chapter and think you could probably continue on for another 14 chapters... Perhaps this could be considered the start of a second book? At the same time watch that you don't let it consume you too much! I wouldn't worry about trying to keep a pace of a chapter a night, take your time because your writing is worth waiting for! Thank you for posting this and I'll look forward to seeing the next part when you post it!

Hmm. A book 2?

Possibly this could be the start of that - If I go on 10 - 15 parts more. We'll see, and thanks for the encouragement!

Hugz! - ***Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Mmm...

Mantori's picture

... so I am in the dog box...

You asked the question remember.

But, what you have written in this chapter truly feels authentic, like Willow is now starting to face the reality of what it means to be trans.
I applaud you on that and see that this story definitely need to continue for some time to come, for Willow's sake and for you as the writer.

Sorry, and thank you again for this fabulously amazing story.

"Life in general is a fuck up,
but it is the rare moments of beauty and peace
in between the chaos,
That makes it worth living."
- Tertia Hill

You're not in the dog house, Fido! I mean Mantori! :)

And you never were. I cherish bold, honest feedback! Thank you for all of it, and keep it coming!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Book 2?

It's your choice as your the author, but maybe wrap this one up, or even end at a cliff like some authors like to do. Then you could plan out and write a Book 2 rather than adding stuff on as you go along. Just an idea.

Good idea

I believe I'll do just that!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Agreed, Good idea

My5InchFMHeels's picture

I really like this solution! Enjoying Willow, a continuation, even if we have to wait, sounds wonderful.

I know! Willow's a charmer. I'm proud of her.

(which I know is odd because I wrote her, it sounds like I'm complimenting myself, but I think of her as her own entity now, so .... OOooh. Brain hurty. Need sleepy. Nite nite.)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

And God comes back in! ...

Jezzi Stewart's picture

... Thanks. One comment suggested Willow's family change churches. I don't think so. I think God wants Willow in that church for the Priest as well as for Amanda.
Thanks for a great story.

BE a lady!

I think so too, Jezzi!

Thanks for your kind words!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Thank you, Sigh,

This is your story and yours alone and you have done wonderfully so far so just keep going until you feel you have finished .
That is a long way away ,I feel, as it is a great story which I enjoy immensely. Thank you !

Thank you, GR

For your solid encouragement and your many comments!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

I am not a religious person at all

Monique S's picture

so this church stuff really goes against my grain. In my book people have the right to delude themselves in any way they want and none of us has the right to break their delusions unlesss aked for it by the person themselves.

I have no idea about the US, but in Europe we have child protection services, who not only have the right but also the obigation to intervene in cases like Amanda. Specially here in France we have a very strict separation of the state and religion, to the extent that religious symbols are prohibited in public schools and that includes crosses and burkas.

Willow trying to do "God's work" by "helping" the priest is simply not appropriate. There are congregations, who have decided to accept the simple fact of life that transgender existst in various forms. The honest and most efficient way in any respect would be for the family to change to one of those.

Monique.

Monique S

In my experience writing here at BC on and off since 2012,

no subject has raised more offense and irritation than the subject of religion - both from members "pro" and "con" on the issue. So why should I include it in my story, like dipping a toe in shark-infested waters? Mainly because many trans people have a spiritual life; some subscribe to a strict religion, others don't. Many religions (much evangelical Christianity, Islam, etc.) have strict doctrinal positions against some or all of the letters in the LGBT movement. So this produces conflict in trans people's lives, and I felt a need to write about it in this story.

When Willow said "I think God's using me to do some good stuff", she was referring to helping Amanda, not the minister. So I do think it was appropriate.

The fact that even in El Paso, Texas there are congregations that accept LGBT members was mentioned in the story. Willow herself rejected that as a solution because she wanted to be around Bernard and her NA friends who attended there. Now having met Amanda, she has even more reason to attend Chula Vista Episcopal: to help this desperate closeted trans kid.

I tried to imply that Willow's fight in this area - church and religion - is one she has chosen to do "within the system". She has acted with respect and even love. And in my experience, nothing tears down walls of evil like love and kindness from within. The way she spoke to the minister - even though in my opinion he could use a good tongue-lashing - illustrates her "battle method". Kill with kindness, as Shakespeare said.

The US also has CPS, and anyone can report a potential case for them to look into. CPS usually does a good job of investigating claims - but not all the time. I'm not sure Willow is aware that anyone, even a teenager, can place a call and get that rolling. She did report this to a professional (the minister) and surely he knows that he must call CPS if he hears of or suspects child abuse. Will he? We'll see.

My personal take on religion is that I do not trust doctrine; I don't trust most of the bible. Yet I believe in a God. Why? Because I have seen Him change some lives of people close to me (some I had given up on as unchangeable), and because I have seen a handful of miraculous occurrences - healings - that were impossible to explain as anything else, and I say that as a professional in the sciences. I am involved in a few 12 step programs, and people there acknowledge a "higher power" (HP) as part of what keeps them clean and sane.

Finally, I realize that people who aren't religious can feel that those who believe in a god or in spirituality might be deluding themselves and that no one should forcibly break their delusions. To imply that people of faith are delusional in this setting (BC), however, might come close to breaking Erin's rule 1, which can be accessed from the right-hand column of the home page.

Thank you Monique for allowing me to address these issues with you. I appreciate your readership and commentary!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Well done

Thank you for a very well done story. Don't worry about ending it. Life goes on and will present books full of problems and joys for Willow. As your muse presents them to you, please continue to share them with us.

Hugs, Cheryl

Thank you Cheryl - I consider you a good friend

And my muse thanks you. And my Moose. And Squirrel. And Boris and Natasha.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Great story

Thank you for sharing your very interesting tale. You have a knack for telling a good yarn. I appreciate your efforts very much.

Robyn Adaire

Such sweet encouragement, Robyn!

Batmyn taught you well!
(You've probably gotten that joke way too much, sorry)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

rushed

I hope you didn't rush things to get this chapter out by your self-imposed deadline. It seemed like we skipped over most of Willow's first day of school - was there any trouble? Did Mal's bodyguarding work?

How was this story originally going to end?

I don't mean to come across as too critical, but I don't want a nose tweak. (Also, this story is reminding me of my own long overdue serial that I should be working on, so I might be feeling defensive about being a lazy cow.)

I was Russian to Finnish the story?

I'm actually Irish. :)

No, I didn't elaborate more on Willow's 1st day of school; I did want to deal with the Amanda sitch in the depth that I did. But that doesn't mean we are going to forget school!

This story originally was going to end with the Prom and the texting after. But as I've said, it didn't feel finished; there were other things to say.

Please, be critical! That's the way I grow as a writer! Now, rude or nasty? Please don't be that (you haven't).

You only get a nose tweak if you don't comment. And comment you did, so none for you (THIS time...).

And I must say I love your low fat ice cream!! Oh, wait. That's made by Skinny Cow, not lazy cow. Nevermind.

Hugz!! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Turned around

Sigh, I was not an fan of this story when it started out, I almost considered not to follow it. Drug stories turn me off (too close to reality for me). You have changed my mind in the last two chapters and am glad I continued to follow this story. In my opinion you are doing a great job. Thank you

People said that about Trans. Plant. Heart.

(another of my stories here on BC.) The protagonist was a shemale prostitute, and the first half of part one was hard to get through for some people. Well, I'm glad you found the last 2 parts enjoyable!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Wonder if the

jackass who threatened her will stop with just threats. That would be a story unto itself I think. Loving the story. If you haven't noticed I am one of those folk who always try to leave a comment.Sometimes I screw it up, but I do tryto do the right thing.

Wendy Jean, i appreciate you and your comments so much.

And yes, we will likely see more of the "jackass" in the future.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

length of story

Amanda, thank You for this great story. It is laying out very nicely. I am glad You are continuing it as it seems like there is so much more to cover. It is also great that You are making sure to finish Your works and not leaving another unfinished. Please keep it going and please know that Your hard work is appreciated.

What a sweet comment!

Thank you GG!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Yes without sin cast the first stone

Jamie Lee's picture

Going to church isn't supposed to be a fashion show, but many feel it should be. Willow didn't wear her best go to the gym clothes or her best garden clothes, but a nice dress that was very presentable.

That old man that grabbed Willow's arm and insisted she be dressed as a boy next time, needs dropped kicked as far as can be sent. He's judging Willow when he's likely heard, "judge not least yet be judged by the same measures." These people believe they will one day be with God, but in a suit and tie or pretty dress? Not likely. And how will that ol' geezer explain judging another person when he himself is no better than he claims others are?

What happened to that pastor's compassion, he acts like the the rule book is more important than the compassion he's supposed to have. And then again, maybe he does have compassion, for those in good standing with that church.

Willow was right going to the pastor, and in her behavior despite the pastor's attitude. Who says a person has to be a licensed pastor to comfort another. That little boy needed help right then and there, and Willow helped the best she can, something Bill would never do. Willow is also right about that family having a dead son or a live daughter.

Others have feelings too.

We haven't heard the last of the minister

He has some pretty significant occurrences - and decisions - in the future parts.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell