Therese and her sister Angelina were happy that Rose was going to stay over for the night. They were even more excited when they realize that Rose was nervous about it. Therese asked, “What are you nervous about? Your sister gave you an overnight bag and we’re happy to have you. Are you afraid that Santa won’t know where you are?”

Angelina said, “If you are worried I’ll give yo one of my stockings to hang up.”

Their Mother, Bonnie Jeters, soon came into the room carrying clean sheets, a blanket, and a fluffy pink comforter. “Rose are you willing to help me change a bed over for you? If not I can get one of my girls to help me.”

I said, “I’m not as good as my sisters, but I can help. I am thankful, you are allowing me to sleep over with the storm outside. I apologize for being a problem.”

Mrs. Jeters asked, “Did you check and see what was packed for you? I suspect everything is there as you’re from another girls’ house.”

I had, in fact, checked and Shannon while hurried packed for Rose two panties, teddy bear pajamas, a skirt with tights as well as a blouse, a fresh panty, and bra for tomorrow. There were a small brush and some toiletries, but not everything a girl needs.

I helped with making the bed and leaned over to stretch and pull the blanket in place. Mrs. Jeters said, “When you’re presenting as Rose. You need to be mindful of how you move in a skirt.”

“You’ll be sleeping here and Therese will be in with her big sister tonight. I hope you don’t mind, but I have our spare room set up for their grandparents and the basement rooms are set for my sister’s family. They all should be here tomorrow morning if the roads are clear.”

She said, “Once you’ve showered and are ready for bed. You can either go right to sleep, or stay up and talk with the girls. I’ve heard Trish tell Therese that you’re one of the girls as Rose and usually enjoy being part of the girl talk.”

While it is true as far as the cheer team and basketball players, I’m embarrassed others know of my girl side. Therese interrupted her Mom, “Mom that’s why I don’t like telling you things.”

“Rose, I’m sorry, but my Mom heard Trish and I talking.”

I was off to the bathroom to take my shower. Therese had waited to hear the water running and the shower door close. Unfortunately, I had only turned on the water and let the door close. I was still outside of the shower, looking for a towel and washcloth. I quickly tried to get the door open and scoot in when I heard the other door open. “Oops, sorry.” The shower door closed quickly behind me this time.

It was Angelina’s voice. She said, “I’m sorry, but I was sure it was my little sister. We often keep one another company if it’s the last of the night. Don’t worry, all that I saw looked like another girl. You need not be embarrassed.”

I froze for a moment and then began to shower myself as Angie appeared to be staying. Angie said, “I think it is sweet of you to have adjusted to being Dort. Truth is, I didn’t like you for a while after you hurt my sister. Tonight when I saw you two lighting the candles and I realized you’re sincerely sorry you hurt her.”

“What made you decide to stay as Rose over the Christmas holiday?” Angie is close to my sisters Sonja and Sierra. I suspected she knew the answers to the questions she was asking from my sisters.

I noticed my underarms needed to be shaved, so I used a razor that was there. Angie spoke, “I can’t really see you. But with your arm like that, I’m guessing you’re shaving your armpits. It’s kind of funny thinking of a boy shaving there.”

I said, “Well, I am going to continue as Rose at least until the 27, and if I decide to go with the cheer team to the girls’ basketball tournament at Cherry Hill. It will be even longer. Actually…”

I hear the door squeak open, I’m hoping Angie is leaving. But it’s Therese, “Angie, what are you doing in here. That has to be embarrassing for Rose.”

Angie said, “No, it’s just like if you were in there.”

Therese said, “But it’s not me. You need to get out of here.”

“You’re not embarrassed are you Rose?” What was I supposed to say? “See that Sis, she’s not embarrassed. I bet with all sisters, she’s used to that.”

The door is a little more open and Therese asks me, “Are you comfortable with her being in here?”

I lied, “It is good to have someone to talk to. I needed to unwind after a long day.”

“Well Sis,” Therese said, “We still need to get out. She needs to get out and dry herself off and get ready for bed.” I sighed in relief as they leave the bathroom.

I’m drying myself when the door opens a crack and its Therese’s hand laying a robe on a counter. “Sorry to bother you, but I thought you’d need this. When you’re ready to come out we can help you with your hair. Sonja text me, saying you might need some help.”

I like how I look with my breast forms on under the pajamas and robe. I was surprised when I went to Therese’s room. Mrs. Jeters took the brush and started to brush out my hair and there us four women were there talking. She said, “I’m surprised that I don’t see more of a boy responding to being around girls.”

I said, “I have my moments, but being dressed as I am, I’m less likely too.” I told them, “It took me a few weeks to get into girl mode like this. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always seen Therese as special but out of my reach. This is kind of special to be seen as a close friend. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help much me much being seen as a girl.”

Therese heard only the last of our conversation. “I better take over brushing your hair. Mom, aren’t you impress on how well, he’s taken care of his hair?”

Angie pipes in and says, “And his legs, complexion and wearing the lace hairpiece made him one adorable chick.”

I giggled, “Gee, you make a boy feel like he’s one of the girls. Being here makes this Christmas like a fantasy wonderland. The snow has changed the outside into a wonderland. I feel like this has turned out to be like a princess wish for me.” Oops, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Angie asked, “Did you ever want to be a princess before?”

“Truthfully, being in a house full of girls, my Dad dotted on my sisters. I’m sure he might have been disappointed I was small and not very manly.” My voice just tapered off.

Angie reiterated, “So did you ever want to be a princess?”

I said, “I’d be afraid you’d laugh at me.”

Angie said, “Sonja told about a little black skirt that she said got hung up in your closet. She said it somehow got worn and put into the laundry before she got it again.” I was afraid, I turned red as I heard her tell the story.

Once we were all in our night clothes, Mrs. Jeters asked, “Would you three help to put the Christmas gifts under the tree. With each of us carrying a maximum of three gifts, it took three times before they were out under the tree. I had carried a larger gift for Angie and another one for their brother Nick. And yes, his name came from being born near Christmas, Nicolaus. I giggled upon hearing that and his birthday being the 26th.

Mrs. Jeters woke me up before seven saying, “Your Mom will be over a 7:15 a.m. to pick you up and to get you home.” I kind of threw some clothes on and ran the brush through my hair; I’ve seen my sisters do that. Mrs. Jeters said, before you can go home you have a gift from Therese to open first.”

It was exquisitely wrapped; it was a small soft gift that Mrs. Jeters insinuated was too personal coming from Therese. That aroused my interest all the more as I carefully took off the ribbon and bow, and edged my fingernails underneath the tape. If it was special I wanted to treasure it. I truly was surprised as I pulled back the wrapping, Therese was there and called it a bra sandwich: it had two lacy boy-panties on top with a pretty peach bra in the middle and two more panties folded underneath.

When my Mom came, I asked her upon her coming in, “Did you bring my gift for Therese?” With the answer, I ran out to the car to fetch it. By the time I got back in Therese had shown my mom her gift to me.

My Mom told Mrs. Jeters, “Don’t be embarrassed. While it is personal it means the giver thinks the other girl is special. Rose’s sisters might be jealous as I see they’re brands my children don’t usually get to wear.” She turns to me and asks, “Did you realize how special there are? I suspect even you will notice the difference.”

Once we were home I was sent to my shower and freshen up. I started to say I already had one late last night. But I stopped from saying it. It seems there’s a different standard for girls and for now that included me. Shannon came into the bathroom as I showered. “Did you like going to the midnight mass with Therese? Mom said you got a nice gift that you’re supposed to wear today, what is it?”

“I’ll wear the gifts but you won’t be seeing it.”

My Sister said, “All she bought you is panties, they must be special.” When I didn’t say anything, Shannon said, “There must be more to it. Did she get you a nice bra as well, what color is it?”

I relented and gave in to her persistence, “Yes, she got me a peach color bra and four pairs of boys panties. Why are the called boy panties anyway?” Shannon explained to me the term boy panties, and in return I let her see the bra and panties before I put them on.

Mom was right, Shannon said, “Why you, you can’t even feel how nice those cups feel.” She tells me, “Put on one of your new panties and tell me you notice the difference with them?”

I would have said, I felt the difference even if I didn’t, but lacy peach panty felt like it was hugging me. “You’re wrong about the panty, it’s softer and feels like its hugging my buns. I think it will hold me better throughout the day.”

I forgot that I was in Shannon’s room as I put them on. It didn’t register that she was watching me. I was pulling up my skirt as Shannon’s hand felt across my buns. She said, “You should put on a half-slip, our cousins will be here this afternoon if not sooner. And I know Lexi will love having time with you.

We needed to hurry down to breakfast as opening gifts don’t start until breakfast is over. We could already smell the soups cooking as we sat down to breakfast.

Dad commented, “I heard, you were a little spoiled with a gift you already received.”

“Dad, I don’t want to be teased about that. You could easily afford to spoil your daughters now and then. And that doesn’t include me. If I’m spoiled, I thought you would have seen it as how nicely my sisters treat me.”

Mom said to both of us, “I want that to stop. It has been a good Christmas so far. Rose, you especially should be looking to enjoy this Christmas.” My Dad picked up a glass of orange juice toasting a beautiful and love filled Christmas.

Dad caught me alone and apologized to me of sorts. “I am sorry for neglecting you. It’s not in my nature to admit to mistakes I may have made some that hurt you. And I apologize for tending to point out your flaws. I have and will continue to work at that. But I can’t erase past mistakes.”

I was angry about the way my father was saying, but I didn’t want an argument on Christmas. Part of me figured, it was better than nothing and that it was all I was going to get. I am seeking to be with my sisters more. I didn’t understand why mom accepted his behavior. Sierra had complimented me for what she called, ‘not enabling such behavior. But she didn’t know how to respond to dad either.’

She, like Shannon, had upped their activity in being my big sisters. I joked with them that it took me becoming a little sister. I felt bad as they quickly apologized. I just as quick apologized as it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.

Sierra hugged me, “We felt bad. We heard you complain before, but thought it was somehow different for a boy. That boys weren’t hurt emotionally.”

I didn’t hear her crying until I felt my shoulder get wet from her tears. I had the warm feeling as I hugged her that we had connected in a new way. When she thanked me, I knew it had been important. In truth, Sierra and Shannon had been supportive. I don’t blame Sonja for having become Daddy’s little girl. But I was feeling better about being better understood and connecting with my sisters.

Opening the gifts this Christmas had a new joy for me. I was glad, like Robert, I got a new sports coat. It was not the drab suit that I expected to receive. My Rose gifts just tickled my fancy. Sierra had gotten me a monogrammed hairbrush like my sister got when they were twelve. ‘RJA’, Shannon said it was made from brushed stainless steel and would be a keepsake if I wanted.

Sonja had bought me a very attractive sweater. Mom had gotten me an overnight case suitable for Rose. Mom and Dad bought me a Cheer Team coat. It was a girls’ coat made with thinsulation. Mom and dad made it known, it would need to last me into my senior year.

No one understood, including me, when I ran to my room crying. I didn’t mean to do it as my cousins came into the house. Lexi didn’t know who she was following until she followed me into Shannon’s room and I flopped on the bed crying.

It was the first time that I realized, I liked being Rose and may not want to go back to being Robert, the boy/brother.

Lexi’s hand was sweeping over m back to console me. She was asking what happened and all I could say was, “You won’t understand.” I thought she might be confused by her hand going over the back of my bra.

Lexi was set on being helpful. She said, “You won’t know until you try me?”

When I began to sit up; Lexi was surprised as it was only then that she recognized me. I said, “Lexi, how are you going to know when I don’t know why?” I had run to the room carrying my new coat.

Lexi seeing the new coat with the name ‘Rose’ on it she asked. “Are you this serious about being a girl or is that what the tears are about?”

“How did you guess that,” I surprisingly asked?

Lexi giggled, “When you flopped down on the bed and your skirt flew up, I only saw a girl. I knew it wasn’t you, but something wasn’t right. Then we were sitting up, face to face, and holding both hands.

I heard Shannon at the doorway, calling back downstairs. “She’s okay, she and Lexi are talking.” Shannon remained at the doorway, waiting to see if she was welcomed or not. I held out one hand, indicating I wanted her too.

I looked at Lexi and saw the differences in her appearance that I would have missed before. Her hair had tints in it and was styled differently. She had lost some baby fat and there was new confidence I saw in her eyes. Her caring, soft-spoken nature was not new, except it was now being shown to me.

Lexi said, “Look at you, your legs and complexion has drastically changed.” Shannon and I both took notice how much my change appeared to someone who last saw me before Thanksgiving.

When Shannon called down earlier, we were supposedly coming down in five minutes. It was now an hour later and we were being called down because Grandmother and Grandfather Anderson were arriving. I was already fixing my face so it didn’t take long.

Grandfather Anderson was also a doctor, a very good one, but he and my father were fairly different. His arms were open wide when I got to the bottom step. He was wanting me to run for a hug, and I did like it was a normal thing that we did.

I’m guessing he’s in his early seventies, but he’s still spry. He said, “Wow, you’re another pretty granddaughter. Where’s Robert? I thought this was to be a humbling discipline. It looks like it’s becoming a transformation.” He asked, “Has my son learned to be more open and supportive of you?” I was fairly sure he knew I wouldn’t answer a loaded question like that.

He stuffed a check in my hand and said, “That’s just for you and no one else is to know about it for now. Your grandmother and I have talked and either way, you are going to need some extra money. Neither Robert or Rose is the same person you were in November.”

I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, “Thank you and Grandma. You are right, Robert’s not the same either.” My Dad came to check on us and I scooted the check where it wouldn’t be seen by him.

Soon gifts for the larger family were given and dinner would soon be served. Jansen was the only one of us cousins who didn’t help in getting the dinner on the table. After dinner, each of us girls had to model out new clothes.

Now and then during the day, I would share texts with Anne, Therese, many others.

Story to be continued...