Mum, you don’t have to worry. It’s the police, sort of, that’s bringing me home.

Printer-friendly version

10 P.M: a Friday night. A black van drives through the streets of Washington D.C.
The streets are filled with upset people.
In the van 15-year old Taylor Peters makes a call home.

- Hi Mom! I’m on my way home.

- Yes, I know it’s earlier than we had planned and no you don’t have to come to pick me up.

- No, Tony’s mother couldn’t drive me but you don’t have to worry.

- Well, Tony’s mother was kind of tied up so I got another ride.

- Yes Mother. I know that the city is all in uproar since the president was killed in the helicopter crash and nobody knows whether it was an accident or something even worse. But really, you don’t have to worry. It’s the police, sort of, that’s bringing me home.

- No, I haven’t done anything wrong!

- Yes, we had a great date! The show was great and then Tony’s mom picked us up and brought us to her small romantic Italian restaurant where we had an absolutely fantastic dinner and as a dessert we had that magic first kiss and then … (hesitant silence) It turns out that there are things about Tony’s parents I wasn’t aware of. For example Tony has always been reluctant to talk about his father who left them when he was a toddler, only saying that the dead-beat dad gets a lot of money for practically doing nothing and (interrupted)

- Yes the kiss was great. It really was dreamy! That first kiss was all I could have wished for (pause while Taylor smiles remembering) I know that I’m in love! I really hated the Secret Service bursting in in the middle of us kissing. You know that you always said that Tony’s mum’s restaurant must have been a license to print money? Well, it turns out that it was in the basement she printed the money.

- Yes, it really was a disappointment to have this happen. The road had been so long – realizing being a girl, the difficult coming out, falling in love, spending lots of money on a lovely dress and the salon and then have the lovely first date spoilt by two Secret Service teams bursting in.

- No I don’t think I’ll date Tony again (sobbing). With all that has happened tonight he’s moving away to his dad’s new home.

- Tony’s new address? 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. That’s why the other Secret Service team was there. I’ll tell there was a right mess at first with two Secret Service teams pointing their weapons at each other. Confusion all around.

- So you see I couldn’t be safer going home. The Secret Service is bringing me in one of their armored vans. It’s their job to keep people safe!

- Before I left I had to promise that while Tony and I would always treasure tonight I’d never let anyone else but you suspect that Tony’s and my relationship was anything else than two boys that were good friends. That’s why I have been calling Toni for "him".

- You’re right, this is really awful for Toni. She was so happy and now she will be forced back to being Anthony – but I’ll always remember My Date with the President’s Daughter.

up
281 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Poor Toni

Dad's career is keeping her from being her real self.

Real Life Version

Daphne Xu's picture

"... two Secret Service teams pointing their weapons at each other."

Many years ago, two LAPD bands squads inadvertently got into a gunfight with each other. Police Chief Daryl Gates was "not delighted".

"... I’d never let anyone else but you suspect that Tony’s and my relationship was anything else than two boys that were good friends." Sounds like it's too late for that, after Anthony had, with some difficulty, come out as Toni.

Good story, if a bit nightmarish.

-- Daphne Xu

It was kind of a coming out dinner

so their school-friends and really anyone else that knew Anthony still didn't know anything.
The difficult coming out was to her mother. It took a while for her to accept her daughter but once she did ...

Bru

a pretzle tale

BarbieLee's picture

I'm positive no one is a dense as me but I had to read this story three times to follow Bru's convoluted mind through the maze. Not going to spoil it for anyone but instead of "just reading" the story follow the threads. The master-mistress of deception and mind bending has struck again. This one isn't as simple as it seems on the surface. Misdirection upon misdirection and finally we end up in the White House. I'm positive Bru was or is a politician with all the, "you can't believe your eyes or ears as this is what I said, I didn't say, that was said, before it was said."
I'm going to take a couple excedrin. Bru's stories are not conducive to a calming influence.
Life is a gift. Treasure it until it's time to return it.
always,
Barb

Oklahoma born and raised cowgirl

Not a politician...

Not a politician...

Bru has to have been a speechwriter or spinmaster, they are the real twisted people behind politicians :D

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Yes, Bru the Puppetmaster

I too had to read this a couple of times. Can't imagine the mind that can put this stuff together. The words Secret Service put me on one track only to have 1600 Pennsylvania Ave sort of make the track wobbly. Neat ending. Thanks Bru!

>>> Kay

The adress

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue perhaps is less know than the usual name for that white building.
However, that adress is probably better known than "55, rue du Faubourg-Saint-Honoré" in Paris which is the French equivalent.

As for law enforcement agencies the US keep a bewildering number of them. Not only Federal, state and local. Just looking at the federal level there are scores of them. I keep wondering how they decide which agency should handle which cases.

E.g. if the son of the president and a serving naval officer having a summer job delivering mail gets involved in a shooting in the Government Publishing Office and also involving ....
Would it be
* Secret Service
* NCIS
* Government Publishing Office Police
* United States Postal Inspection Service (which is older than the US)
or some other Agency?

Which agency?

The Postal Inspection Service wouldn't be involved, because no crime against the US Mail occurred. The NCIS wouldn't be involved since the son of a naval officer is not, himself, in the Navy and thus out of their jurisdiction. I don't think there is a "Government Publishing Office Police." The Secret Service does protect the family of the President, but they are a protection service here, not an investigative one. It would probably be the District of Columbia Police.

Might have chosen better examples

The basic situation remains though - there is a bunch of different law enforcment agencies with potentially overlapping tasks.

As for the GPO police they appear to keep a low profile. They are listed as one of the federal law enforcement agencies on Wikipedia. Granted, Wikipedia is not always reliable. However, if you do a search on "GPO Police" at the GPO website you get a long list of results. The first was this
https://www.gpo.gov/docs/default-source/news-content-pdf-fil...

Of course they may disbanded the GPO police since.

You got lost in the alphabet

You got lost in the alphabet soup...The GPO isn't the right one, it's Bureau of Engraving and Printing. And funny that both have their own police still, they are local to the plants though. All of the major agencies have their own security police forces, including the FBI(FBI Police)!

The Secret Service still is the BEP investigative arm, so you had the right folks but the wrong routing ;)

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

Still not quite write...

Since a serving Naval officer can't have a summer job, she can only be her son's mother (whether First Lady or Ex). The Secret Service has primary responsibility for protection of the First Children. NCIS has responsibility for matters that may threaten or compromise Naval personnel or involve Naval affairs. The Postal Inspection Service would be responsible for mail fraud, postal properties, interference with mail deliveries, and thus may be interested in crimes against mail carriers carrying. GPO Police would be responsible for crimes on GPO sites. "Also involving..." surely brings in the FBI, beside the fact they are likely the only agency of scope broad enough to be the overall coordinator.

No implication of counterfeiting is made, since GPO doesn't print money, else the Secrets would show up twice, as in the story...

Actually, he didn't say the President was male...

DC police

Back in the early '80s, when I used to broadcast the Smithsonian Festival live from the mall, I had to deal with 17 separate police forces that had jurisdiction there. The fun was compounded by those forces disagreeing about what the law was, and issuing contradictory commands as to what had to be done. Add in the power and three separate telephone companies to deal with and things got really interesting.

I remember two "officers" on horseback knocking on the audio truck door and demanding that it be moved off the mall. Of course it had been approved not only by all the other "authorities", but also by their superiors.

Liz

You'd have to know that the

You'd have to know that the other, lesser known yet original branch of the agency fought counterfeiting to catch the comedy there

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime

An odd one

Poor Toni.

Now this is a different take

Now this is a different take and spin on children in the White House.

Perceptions are everything in politics

Jamie Lee's picture

What a bad light would be cast on the President should it get out Anthony is actually Toni. Why it might get the President kicked out of office because of the hate that would be generated if word of Toni leaked out.

And everyone knows politics are more important than the family, except those which are hurt by it.

Others have feelings too.

Wasn't there a fuss when it

Wasn't there a fuss when it was discovered that Ronald Reagan's son was a ... ballet dancer ?

... and it wasn't as if his dad was in show-business .. oh, he was !

If remember correctly

the career choice of Ron Reagan never was a secret. Ronald apparently didn't appreciate ballet that much.

However, Ron's political views probably were more problematic than the ballet aspect.

A transgender daughter? Is the US electorate prepared to view an understanding and supporting father favorably yet? Not that it's likely in this case.

Wait a minute

If the President was killed then Tony has no legal right to move into the White House. If anything he would be helping his mother move out. The VP is now the President and will be moving into the White House.


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

I'm often not very clear

Tony is the new President's child. Tony's parents' marriage had collapsed and the future VP/President left Tony with the mother. Later the father became Vice President (the dead-beat dad gets a lot of money for practically doing nothing). When becoming President the fate of the child got a different importance (even more so when the mother has been arrested but the "presidential" Secret Service team didn't know that when setting out).