Author's Note:Life is slowly starting to resume a sense of normalcy. I'm now trying to catch up with three writing projects I'm trying to do. Alternative is of course one of them, I also have another story that's slowly being written along with a collaboration that I'm working on with a good friend, who is already a published author. I can't give any more info about the collaboration, other than I'm hoping that it will be incredible. That is if I can get myself caught up enough to pull my own weight. With me being a big gal that's actually takes a lot haha. Much Love y'all, hope you enjoy.-~Rebecca

I sat there waiting for a response, any response. Staring at the faces around me, all I could hear and feel, was my heart hammering in my chest. I softly said, “Guys? Please…” I was fighting off the urge to turn and run, and in doing so I felt my body start to tremble. I guess Sam and Brett both noticed as I felt Sam gently take my hand and I felt Brett’s large hand rest on my shoulder and give it a soft squeeze. Even Shelly moved beside me to place her hand on my other shoulder.

It was Brett that shocked everyone into action when he barked, “Really? After everything he’s done for you… You all are just going to stand there? Really?!?”

It was Lyndsey that was the first to move. Lyndsey and I hadn’t really talked much, but I had gotten to know her a bit and she had always come across as an incredibly sweet person. She stepped up quickly and bent down to hug me, yeah, she had to bend down. When I had first met her, I had been concerned that she was so thin that she was sick or something. Here was this pretty girl who was close to six feet tall and towered over me, but she was also even thinner that I was. I had been concerned, until I saw her mom and sisters come to pick her up. It seems all the women in her family shared that same build. As she hugged me she said, “Jordan I’m sorry… I just… You just shocked me… us…”

While she hugged me, I felt the crowd move forward, I glanced up as I felt more hands being placed on my arms and shoulders. I glanced around and saw almost the entire crowd had moved up to stand close to me in support. I couldn’t help it when I felt a relieved sob escape my lips as I finally released the breath that I didn’t know I was holding. I softly said while crying, “Thank you Lynds…” I looked at all the other blurry faces around me, and added, “Thank all of you…”

Lyndsay stepped aside as other girls came up to hug me, I did notice though as she moved aside she moved over and looked at Brett admiringly. I was trying to figure out why he wouldn’t look up at her when Rachel mobbed me saying, “Oh my god Jordan… None of us knew… It doesn’t matter though okay? You’re our friend, this shouldn’t change that you know?”

I put what was going on between Lyndsay and Brett aside and I focused on Rachel, “It shouldn’t… I’ve seen how people treated Sam though… I just…”

She softly shook me, “You see how we treat Sam. Why did you think that we’d treat you any different?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know… I mean I knew that you were okay with her, but… I don’t know Rachel… I was just afraid okay… I know it doesn’t make any sense…”

She hugged me again and said, “I’m sorry that you thought we’d mistreat you…”

I told her, “It’s not that Rach… I mean… My entire life… Every time something starts going good for me… a huge but happens…” She looked at me quizzically, so I continued, “I mean I was doing good a few years ago… I had great grades, I was excelling in sports… I had so many friends… Then I got sick… I had all but given up when they found a cure… I started getting my hopes up that things were going to go back to normal… Then I found out what had to be done to save me… Then I got Sam back into my life and then when I started to fall for her… I thought she was into guys, which just reminded me of how I was changing… We got passed that, and right now things are going really great for me Rachel… I just waiting for the…”

Her eyes opened in realization as she finished the statement for me, “The but… You’re waiting for the other shoe to drop… Jordan… You can’t do that… I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know one thing… We’re all your friends okay? Whatever happens, good, bad, or indifferent, nothing will change that. You’ve been here for us, so let us be here for you. I feel confident enough to say that we’re all are going to be here for you for a long time.”

I was afraid to say something, so I just nodded and wiped the tears from my face, I saw everyone around me nodding as well. I then noticed there were a few people still rooted where they were standing earlier. It was three other girls who I hadn’t seen on our Saturday practice, and also Rick and Tom. I asked just loud enough for them to hear, “Guys? What are you thinking?”

They both walked up to me hesitantly, and it was Rick that spoke for them both, “So this is why you’re not doing PE or trying out for baseball?”

I nodded and pointed to my chest, “I couldn’t hide these anymore. It was all I could do to hide them under my baggy clothes. I can’t do anything with them right now… I mean if I chose to have them removed, I’d still have to wait a few years to make sure they’re done growing… I don’t think I’m going to do that though…” I couldn’t help but glance over at Sam remembering our moment, which caused us both to blush.

It was Tom who noticed that exchange and his eyes opened wide, “Oh… OH!”

Rick was confused and looked at Tom and asked, “What the hell man?”

Tom had a smirk he couldn’t hide, and he told Rick motioning to Sam and said, “Looks like Sam beat us getting to second base…”

Rick uttered a small, “Huh?” as he quickly looked at Sam, and then me. Then his eyes glanced down at my exposed cleavage and you could see it plainly on his face when he got the mental image imprinted in his brain as he quickly looked up and said, “Fuck… Why’d you have to go there asshole… I won’t be able to unsee that…”

Tom just sat there grinning, after a moment he said, “I never thought I’d ever say this, and it’s probably going to sound even weirder than it does in my head, but… Sam I have to admit one thing… You’ve got a pretty hot smoking boyfriend…”

I noticed everyone in the group had the same stunned expression, except for Tom of course. He was smirking like the cat that had just caught the canary. The sheer audacity of his statement and the look on his face caused the first giggle to escape from me. I quickly covered my mouth with my hands but even doing that I couldn’t stop myself before I broke down laughing hard. Rick quickly backhanded Tom in the shoulder and muttered, “Fucker!!!” Which only set Sam and many of the other girls off as well.

After we recovered from the laughter, Rick asked, “You said that you’re not a girl or even wanting to be one, right? Then why are you dressed up like this? Cause Jord… I’m sorry but even knowing you… I can’t see anything else but a girl standing here…”

I sighed, “Yeah… Well I knew how hard this was going to be to believe… So, I thought I’d wear this to show everyone… The sports bra I have to wear… Otherwise they start hurting too much.” I saw both Rick and Tom both wince, so I continued, “Yeah… As far as everything else but the socks… This is my standard work out stuff… I did bring a shirt to wear over the bra once the show and tell was over…” With that I dug into my bag I had brought and pulled out my tank top my Mom had made for me. When I had gotten sick she had made it up, thinking it would lift my spirits.

I was tugging it on when Tom asked, “Twenty-three? That was your old number wasn’t it?”

I nodded, “Yeah Mom thought this would make me feel better when she brought me to a few games… At the time it only reminded me I couldn’t play…” I stopped talking at the intensity of the memory. I took a few deep breathes to try and keep the tears held back.

Rick stated, “That’s why you only came to a few games once you were…”

I nodded, “In the chair? Yeah… I couldn’t do it anymore… Just watching you guys while knowing I could never be out there again…”

Sam wrapped an arm around my shoulders in a sideways hug and said, “Yeah it was hard for us too…” Rick and Tom both nodded, then she added, “That and Jason just sucked…”

We all chuckled, then I said, “Enough with all this… Who’s ready to practice?”

Everyone nodded enthusiastically, and Sam said, “Why don’t you all work on fielding while Jord and I get warmed up?”

The girls agreed and started grabbing their gloves when Rick asked, “What do you want us to do?”

I knew I had asked them to help, but I was actually surprised that they were still here. The fact they were still willing to help made me smile. I asked, “You guys want to hit and let the girls get warmed up fielding?”

They were nodding when Brett came up and asked, “What do you want me to do? Baseball isn’t really my thing, but I know how to hold a bat.”

I laughed, “Good thing then that this is softball then. Why don’t you help those two dorks.”

Rick rolled his eyes while Tom laughed and said, “Hey now! I resemble that remark!” That only set everyone off chuckling again.

I started getting into my catcher gear as Brett started lobbing the balls to Rick as he was sending them to the bases. I watched him for a few moments, Rick was good. He was also like me, he was a technical hitter. What we both lacked in power, we made up with our accuracy. One of the reasons we both almost always made it on base. Tom though was more of a power hitter. Sam and I was just starting to warm up when they switched up batters and Tom started sending balls out to the outfield.

I couldn’t help but pause and smile watching them, Sam came up and said, “This is pretty cool isn’t it?”

I nod, “Yeah it is. I never thought I’d get to be part of this again, you know?”

She smiled, “Yeah I know. You’re in your element out here Jordan. Even though it’s just practice, I can tell that everything that you’re worrying about sorta gets put aside…”

I nod, “Yeah… It’s just when we’re out here… It’s just you, me, and the ball count… Nothing else really matters at the moment.”

She grinned and said, “Then why don’t we get warmed up and show them what we can do?”

I grinned back and told her, “Sounds good to me.”

She then leaned over and gave me a soft kiss which I readily accepted and returned. That only caused a bunch of catcalling and complaining from the team telling us to get to work. Which caused us both to chuckle as we got started. It only took us about fifteen minutes to get both of us warmed up and stretched.

Once we were ready and had taken our places on the field, we had decided to continue the fielding exercises. This time though it was more of a game ‘feel’ to it, the non-starters, along with Rick, Tom, and even Brett, were going to fill out the ‘other’ team. It was just our luck that Tom was the first up at bat. The outfielders had already witnessed his power while hitting and many of them started to ease back to the outfield fence. I shook my head at them and tried to pull them back some.

Tom grinned and said, “Smart move, they won’t be able to catch these home runs anyway.”

As I signaled to Sam to give me a regular pitch, I said, “I had forgotten how cocky you were Tom…” Sam shook her head, she obviously didn’t want to give him an easy pitch. I just smiled big enough for her to see it through my facemask and called for the same pitch again.

Tom said, “Well when you’re as good as I am, its just being a realist.”

Sam looked at me funny and shrugged her shoulders, as she started to wind up I stated, “Now Tom, could you play and stop staring at my tits?”

He turned quick enough and blurted out, “Dude I’m not!” About that time the ball hit my glove.

Brett said while smirking, “That would be strike one.”

Tom shook his head, “Oh damn… I forgot this… I forgot how much of a sneaky little shit you were.”

I grinned back at him and told him, “Well if you want any hope of hitting the ball you better remember buddy.”

He laughed and as he stepped back into the batter’s box he said, “Okay then, game on bud.”

I smiled and called for a fastball, to which Sam smiled and nodded. I could see the smug grin on her face as she realized what I did to Tom. As the ball hit my glove before Tom had even started swinging good I heard him blurt out, “Shit! I’ve never seen a softball that fast!”

I grinned and told him, “Then just wait… That wasn’t even one of her fastest ones…” I know that was a lie, that was actually one of the fastest I had seen from her. I figured though it would keep Tom guessing.

As we worked through the rotation, no one got on base. The only person that connected with the ball was Brett. He sent one screaming just over Sam’s head, but she quickly snatched it out of the air with her glove.

I accused him, “I thought you said you were a football player…”

He shrugged and grinned, “Hey that surprised the shit out of me too.”

We made it through the rotation three times before we swapped players out, taking turns so everyone got a chance to try to hit off of Sam while we were in our zone. Everyone had gotten at least three times at bat before we slowed her pitches down. That way Sam wasn’t overworked, and everyone got a chance to actually hit the ball some. Well we didn’t turn it down for three guys though, even so, Tom hit three fouls over the fence, Rick got two base hits, and the damn football player got a home run. Go figure…

We had been at it hard for almost two hours when we finally called an end to practice. We were all dusty and sweaty, and even as tired as she was Sam absolutely glowed. She was meant for this, being out there surrounded by her teammates. I understood that, I could also feel it myself. I didn’t know if I was glowing or not, but I knew I felt great, even with as tired and sweaty as I was.

We were busy packed up our stuff when I saw Brett off in one of the dugouts talking with Lyndsey. The conversation looked fairly intense, not in a heated way, but from their expressions it looked important. I got Sam’s attention and asked, “What’s up with Brett and Lynds? I noticed the looks they gave each other, and now they look pretty in to it in the dugout…”

Sam sighed, “It’s not really any of my business to say, but most of the school knows so… They were an item for a long time. Everyone thought they were the ‘it’ couple, you know? The two that would be together forever kinda couple…”

I asked, “What happened?”

She took a slow breath and then sighed, “I guess I happened… I mean that I came out and then Brett had all that stuff resurface… Then the stuff with his Dad… He broke it off with her. He didn’t want to hurt her and told her the stuff he was going through was going to bring her down with him…”

I looked over at them talking in the dugout and stated, “But that hurt her anyway and she doesn’t know why…”

Sam said, “Yeah pretty much in a nutshell. I hate it… Both of them are such good people… I know it tears Brett up, just as much as it does Lynds…”

I sighed, “And there isn’t anything we can do…”

She leaned into me and softly said, “Yeah I know… It sucks though. I wish we could do something.”

I lean into her and nod, “Yeah me too. It’s not up to us though…It's all up to Brett.”

Our attention quickly got drawn back to packing up our gear and getting ready to go home. All the girls came up and hugged both Sam and I. Every single one of them told me they supported me and hoped I could at least start practicing with them after school. It didn’t even matter to them if I wouldn’t be able to play or not. I did my best to not get too emotional, but I definitely got choked up a bit. Even Rick and Tom came up, even though they made it a bit awkward.

Rick paused for a moment, seeming unsure what to do before he stuck his hand out to shake mine and then pulled me into a bro type hug. He said, “Thanks for having us out here Jord. It was a lot of fun. More than that it was good to see you two in action again.”

Tom was smirking at Rick and his nervousness as he looked at me and Sam and said, “Dude and dudette… This was a lot of fun, thanks for letting us play with ya.”

He stuck his hand out confidently to give my hand a shake. I guess he was trying to be too calm to mess with Rick. I didn’t know what got into me, but I couldn’t help myself. I bypassed his hand and gave him a big hug and then tiptoed to give him a kiss on his cheek. I quickly stepped back and tried my best to not laugh at his embarrassment.

He still had his hand out like he was waiting for it to be shook and he stammered, “But… wait… You said… What the hell Jordan?!?!”

The people around us started to laugh and I burst out laughing as I said, “Got you back fucker!”

Tom shook his head and wiped his cheek as he reddened. After a moment he said, “Okay… Yeah you did asshole.” He then laughed, “I do tell you what though, after seeing your boobs I’m not all together mad about that kiss.” He then made an exaggerated kissy face, which caused me to shove him away to everyone’s laughter.

I said, “Nope you only get one. Sam get’s all the rest.” I then tiptoe and gave Sam a soft kiss on her lips.

She said while smiling at me after the kiss, “I better get all the rest after all you're mine.”

We ended up hanging out for a few more minutes, everyone joking around with each other. The guys and girls were each giving the other pointers about what they noticed in practice. Well other than Brett and Lynds, they were kind of standoffish and kept staring back and forth with each other.

I tried not to worry about it as we loaded our gear in Brett’s car. He was quiet on the ride home and both Sam and I picked up on it. As we were getting out of the car at my house I said, “Why don’t you two come in for a bit so we can hang out?”

Sam agreed, “Yeah that sounds good. Brett come on and come in and lets chill okay?”

He tried to stammer, “No… I’ve got stuff… I need to go and get…”

I gently grabbed his hand and softly said, “Brett look you don’t have to be the strong silent guy around us okay? We’re your friends, come in and talk okay?”

He looked so worn down at that moment, his eyes were tinged with moisture and it looked like he was doing all he could do not to cry. He started to say something, but his voice caught, and he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and simply said, “Okay…”

We both gently pulled him out of the car and lead him into the house. Both of my parents were there, and I told them as I was grabbing some Gatorades that we were going to go upstairs and talk. They could see the seriousness in my face and didn’t question me thank god. I really didn’t want to out Brett with them.

As we got up to my room and I passed the drinks around I looked at him as he just sank down onto my bed holding his drink and making no effort to open it. I told him, “Hey, talk to us okay? We’re here. What happened today?”

He looked at both of us and Sam sat down next to him and gently put her hand on his forearm. She told him, “Hey it’s okay, don’t hold this in. You’re dealing with enough shit without adding to it.”

He nodded, “It’s Lyndsey…”

Sam nodded and told him, “We figured that… I told Jordan what happened with you two…”

He looked at me and I nodded. I told him, “Look I understand why you did it. I know it sucks, but I understand.”

He looked back down at his unopened drink and said, “She came up and talked for a bit. The normal small talk kind of stuff. How are you? What’s going on? That type of stuff. It was when she told me that she was glad that I was supporting you two. That’s when something clicked.”

Sam gasped, but I was totally confused. I asked, “What clicked?”

He looked up at me and I could see his eyes were filled with tears and they were just starting to spill out. He said, “She knows Jordan, or at least she thinks she does…”

Still confused I asked, “What does she think she knows?”

He choked back a sob and said, “Me Jordan… I think she knows about me…”

 
 
To be continued.