Masks 51

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*Before…

I’m still sort of I don’t know stunned, kinda freaked out which is letting Toni steal and eat most of my fries and we pull into school and grayson gets out first and I watch him go still kind of freaked out.

Becky says. “That’s quality boy butt right there.”

And I’m blushing again and I’m staring.

I didn’t want to stare but she said it and now I’m staring.

We pile off the bus and we meet up with Lucy at one of the picnic tables before bells start and I take out the cookies and the coffee and I pass her the fudge.

“Maple fudge, no gluten, no nuts.”

She beams at me. “Oh wow seriously?”

“Seriously.”

She grabs a chunk and she shoves it into her mouth and starts happy dancing holding out the paper coffee cup I gave her and I’m filling cups and Rachel is smelling it and she’s eating a cookie and she does this big inhale and smiles at me.

“Mmmmm...wife.”

I blush and Toni cackles. “Another convert where’s my toaster!”

*And Now…

Lucy looks at me and then Rachel and then at where Grayson had gone inside and then at Toni.

Toni grins at her. “I’m a Lesbian!”

Loudly.

“Being a Lesbian is great because you get to be a girl that’s into pretty girls! Do you want to be a Lesbian? Because I’m like connected.”

Lucy is still Lucy so she totally squeaks and Toni is drawing attention.

There’s a few looks and some stares and then there’s Bonnie Devant and Megan Harper who throw us the finger and both yell “Fucking dyke!”

Mary Jane leans over and she switches the mini-sunflower from one hand to the other so she is throwing the finger up back to them and holding it there as she leans over and she kisses Toni.

Like full on the lips kisses and they kinda went like long kiss with it.

Like OH MY GOD……

It doesn’t last long as one of the hall monitors blasts her whistle and she yells. “No PDA’s on school grounds and get that finger down!”

I know Mary Jane, I know her better than anyone else in my life and there was part of that kiss where she exhaled and relaxed and enjoyed it.

Right about the same time as Toni like involuntarily pushed herself up on her tip toes.

They break the kiss and there’s some clapping from like all the kids that don’t care or even support other LGBT+ kids and Toni is staring at her.

“You...that was…”

Mary Jane puts the flower up to her nose and she smiles and smells it.

“Well what was I supposed to do when a beautiful girl gives me a flower?”

Toni breaks.

She literally breaks and she launches herself into Mary Jane’s arms and she locks her in this death hug and she’s crying.

Like full on ugly cry.

But like in the best way?

I mean it’s all in Bawlese so it needs translation and stuff but I’m getting first kiss, real kiss, tall, so beautiful, that no one has ever said that to her or like about her….

We’re there as like support and stuff and Lucy is hugging herself and smile crying. “Nothing like this went down home, like no one is out and no one is like all cool and stand up for their friends and if they are I like never am like part of that crowd.”

I laugh and wipe at my own tears. “Well we have trans girls and lesbians and witches so you’re bound to be in with something going on.”

She squeak laughs and I add to it. “I’m having a coming out party at my house on Halloween so if you want to be part of that it’s more than cool. I mean I was planning on inviting you today anyway but there like more drama.”

She hugs me and happy eeps. “Ohmigawdyes!”

The bell is ringing and the monitor comes over and she looks at M.J. and Toni and Toni is pulling her face out from hugging Mary Jane and blinks at the lady.

“Toni are you okay?”

(Sniffle.) “Yes ma’am I okay I’m just having a come to Lesbos moment.”

The monitor rolls her eyes and stalks away. “Dammit Toni tone it down! All of you get to homeroom!”

Becky asks Toni as we’re walking inside. “Lesbos? Like what’s that?”

“A sacred island basically where Wonder Woman is from. It’s home to Sappho.”

“Okaaaaay like what’s that?”

“An ancient greek poet woman, and pretty much Lesbian Jesus.”

We all crack up as we head inside and go to class.

Becky says. “Wow, okay now I’m really looking forward to high school and history class.”

We all start laughing our way to homeroom.

Classes are pretty much normal except for there’s a lot of gossip about me and about the open lesbian Kiss between Toni and Mary Jane.

People are well definitely being pretty much busy bodies about all of this.

And I think that some stuff about Greyson and I might be starting to float around maybe?

Or it could just be me getting the same bad stares from the same buttholes doing it usually.

It doesn’t take long to get to ten o’clock break and Toni is there in the cafeteria before all of us get there and we all gather at our “table” after getting our snacks and stuff either from our bags or lockers or from the cafeteria.

Greyson joins us and smiles at me.

I blush and smile back.

“Thanks for the fries this morning.”

He nodded. “I thought that it’d be a good idea.”

“It was no one’s done anything like that for me before.”

“Good I wanted to impress.”

He gestured to where he was sitting and I sat beside him.

Wow...this, this feels really close.

He also smells nice.

I mean teen guys don’t smell nice. They don’t it’s like all that hormonal stuff oozes out of their pores or something and that’s something that I desperately want to avoid.

I’d live in a hot shower if I thought that I could sweat the boy stuff out of me like poison.

But yeah he smells nice.

Like in that actually trying not to be gross thing and not wearing Axe body spray like it’s the water from the shower.

You should not be able to open your mouth and taste anyone’s body scent/perfume/cologne on the surface of your tongue.

He smells like dryer sheets and like old classic Right Guard and maybe some sort of guy lotion?

I like it too.

“So what should I dress up like on halloween for the party?”

“I don’t know what do you like?”

“Lots of things really.”

“I’m going as a Roller derby partner with M.J.”

“Toni I’m going as her fan!”

He looks like he’s thinking then he smiles. “I think that I have something.”

“Oh what?”

“I think I’ll come as a rock-star or something and see who I can pull off.”

“That’d be cool.”

He smiles. “I have another idea too.”

“What’s that?”

He takes his phone out and he starts to play music on it.

It’s that bouncy song *Are you gonna be my girl?* By Jet and he just looks at me and then all of a sudden he has my hand and is off the table bench and he’s dancing with me.

In front of everyone!

Toni pulls M.J. up fast so there’s four of us and then some of the others join in and we’re kinda dancing for a couple of songs on the few minutes that Morning break lasts and we’re getting stares.

We’re getting lots of stares.

But...but like as soon as I wasn’t up there and dancing and like alone...I danced with him.

It was goofy and sudden and it was just like fun pop stuff and everything like….

Finger Eleven and *Paralyser*

And this old song called *I just want to fly* by someone I don’t know but like from my Dad’s age.

It’s fun and it doesn’t last long but.

I feel like I’m flying after the bell rings and all the way through classes until lunch when Dad’s there to pick me up.

We get signed out and I get into the van pretty happy and bouncy and Mom’s there too!

Nervous?

Sure I guess, it’s like pretty important but I’m also not too.

I’m going to get on with my life!

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Comments

Yeah........

D. Eden's picture

Been there, done that. That moment in time where you decide.......where deep down inside you truly make the choice to just be yourself........

I remember it well, and I don’t mean when you intellectually choose to transition. No, I mean when it truly sinks in and down deep inside you finally unlock the chains you’ve had wrapped around that little girl that was never allowed to be; when that girl that was buried away underneath years of lies and facade is finally freed to come out into the daylight.

It feels like tons of leaden armor just falling away, leaving you so much lighter and exposed to the world.

Yeah, I’ll never forget that feeling.

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

small steps

but important ones. thanks

Epic

That was an epic chapter finish. Greyson is very much a "yay". It'll be interesting to see how the therapy plays out. Wow, almost the cooling it party. Anticipation building!

Hugs n smoochies,
Jenna