Free Your Mind 1.6

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The wife found out her husband is a hidden cross-dresser. How far is she going to accept this?

About two weeks passed since I found my husband, Aslan, wearing my clothes and my make-up. At first, I was upset to see this. But then, I decided to accept things as they are. Since then, I also looked on the internet, to learn more about this subject. I found other women who abandoned their husbands or boyfriends for this. But I also found many who accepted and transformed this into a great romance. So, I decided to study this subject.

such a man is often called a sissy. Until recently, I had no idea that this term exist. It certainly does not exist in my language. I found out that in many cases a sissy can become gay or even something more incredible... can become a transgender person. In that case, things can go to the extreme, up to gender surgery. In that case, he will no longer be a he but a she. Either way, our relationship will go to a halt, to a wall that I cannot pass. It will all end. Well, gender surgery is impossible in our town and by far we don't have money to afford something like that anywhere.

I have to do something. I have to find out if things are really going to go that far and if so, I have to draw a limit.

And also, if anyone outside this door finds out, nobody knows what is going to happen. Gay people are killed in this part of the world. If anyone considers him or me to be gay/lesbian, we are doomed. The problem is that I told a few people about his cross-dressing. Just hope they will keep their mouths shut.

**********

Today, I arrived home from work before him. I sit at our computer, reading about these subjects: sissy, transgender and gay. I am so concentrated, that I smoke four cigarettes in a row, without even noticing it. I am thinking what to do. He needs a lesson, to see how painful it is to be a woman.

Aslan is coming home. I hear the door opening. I have a good plan to see how far is he willing to go. Poor him, he has no idea what is to come!

"Hi, Abida, I am home. I brought you something!"

"Strawberries?" I say, looking at a small bag he is carrying.

"Yes, my love! They're for you!"

We sit at the table in the kitchen and eat them. He notices very soon that I don't have pantyhose on. Not willing to tell me, he stops looking at my feet and avoids to touch them, as he usually does. After we finish eating, I invite him in the bedroom.

"I also have a surprise for you", I say, with a big smile.

"What is it?" he asks.

"Aslan, I want you to be as woman tonight as you can".

His face becomes a bit red, his eyes move fast, then a twitching smile comes on his face.

"I want you to take a look at this. You noticed I have no pantyhose? This is because women have to do something from time to time".

"And what is that?" he asks.

I take my epilator and show him. I turn it on and start moving it on my feet.

"I want you to take off all your clothes and lie on the bed".

He executes it without question. I wonder if he has any idea how painful this is going to be. I start this with one foot. He instantly moves away.

"Come on", I say, "I did this on all my body, alone, every two weeks. How that you are afraid of only this?"

"Sorry, I had no idea how painful this is", he says.

"It is painful to be a woman", I say, with a big smile.

Without asking him anything, I continue with his left foot. Is it painful? I don't care. If he wants to become a woman, he must get used to it. He tries the best not to move and not to scream, but I feel him. I know him very well. I go from ankle up to the knee, then up to the crotch. Then, I turn on the right foot. I pass the knee...

"Please, have mercy", he says, "let me a minute. I cannot take it any longer".

"Yes you can", I say. "You will wait until I reach your butt, then you have a cigarette break".

I insist. I know well that while dealing with a sissy I have to be bossy. It is not my type, but I have to. And after all, what a fuck? He wants to be a woman, he has to know how it feels to be one. Well, when I finish the back of his legs, I stop and we both smoke a cigarette.

"Now you know how it feels to be a woman?" I ask.

"I had no idea it is so painful", he answers.

"Oh, this is nothing", I say. "You have no idea how painful is to have a menstrual bleeding. When this happens, it hurts so much that I cannot see my way. I step in all ponds on the way to work".

He answers nothing. Is he thinking what to do? I don't know. I think he never knew how painful is to be a woman. He only knew his sexual dreams and that's all. Well, after we finish smoking, I ask him to lie back on the bed. I continue to epilate his back and then his arms. I must confess that I feel angry. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to see him becoming a gay or a woman. I love him too much. A tear falls from my eyes, but I manage to hide it.

"Roll over", I say. "Time to make the other half of your body!"

He obeys and I start to epilate the other half of his legs. I do this faster, but then I have to slow down, not to destroy the machine. I avoid the genitals. Even I cannot support the pain of epilating there. then, I turn my attention to his belly, to all the hair that lies there. I continue with the chest and the arms. It takes me some time, but at some point, all is done.

When I look at him, I see tears in his eyes. Wow! I feel pity for this. I wanted to be painful, but never imagined how much will it be for a hairy man to be epilated. I kiss him on his lips, saying:

"Sorry it hurt that much, but there is no other way. This is what I have to go through from time to time".

"I know", he says, "but I never knew it is so painful".

"But we are not over yet", I continue. "There is something you will need to go through if you want to be a woman".

"What is that? Does it hurt the same?" he asks, with a scared voice.

"No", I say, kissing him again. "It is painful, but by far not that. I have to give you earrings".

He looks scared at me, but doesn't seem to stop me. I did this before. I helped friends to pierce a new hole in their ears. Once, I did it with my ears, alone. And also, I have a ring in my belly. I like it. So, why shouldn't I do this with him too?

I take a needle and pierce one ring carefully. He feels the pain and twitches.

"I thought it is more painful", he says.

"No, just like that", I say.

Then, I add the earring, while slowly taking the needle out. I do this again with his other ear, but a bit faster. And finally, I take the needle and pierce a third earring in his belly. This time, he looks scared at me and moans a bit as I do my job.

"Oh mine!" he says. I never knew this is so painful".

"Well", I say, "I have two earrings in each ear. Twice the pain! And this is not all. Many earrings have painful sharp edges. If someone hits your ear, it will hurt you like never before. If you try to lie on bed with them on, on one side, it will also hurt you and make you wake-up".

"It hurts already", he says.

I laugh, lighting a cigarette.

"Now, it is time for a beauty session. You have to wash yourself, so that your skin will be mild and soft. Then, I will teach you how to apply a mask on. You have to stay for 30 minutes like that, then you can wash again and put on make-up. But I want you to put make-up like a woman and not like a man".

He listens to me and does all I say. He seems confused when I show him the white, slimy liquid. He does not hesitate.

Well, when it comes to make-up, things are different. First, I ask him to shave. A woman has no beard or mustache. Then, I learn him to gently apply small amounts of make-up and lipstick, not like most sissies do. He now looks more pretty.

Then, I put him to cut his toenails carefully, not to harm the pantyhose he will wear. He applies nail polish to his toenails and glues fake nails to his fingernails. Well, he looks more girly, but not quite as a girl. Time to add clothes.

I give him the white pantyhose and the large black knee-long skirt, with plastic sandals. Then, he takes-on a bra and a black blouse. The bra creates an illusion of female breasts. I need to work on this, but yet I don't know how.

"Still something is missing", I say. "Your hair is that of a man. We need to do something about this. I think I know exactly what".

I give him a white hijab. He takes it and puts it on. Some part of me says: "Stop! This is a blasphemy in Islam, to put a hijab on a man!" But, so be it. I already gone too far. Now, I look at him. He looks more girly, but at a close look, still there is something that comes to the appearance of a man. What should that be? I don't know yet. I go and take bracelets and add them on his arms. Better, but still not complete. I take the last items I have available: a necklace and sunglasses.

I think about Dmitry, the former spy that hides as Jasmine, a Muslim widow. What is the difference? Why nobody found out that Jasmine is actually a man? Then, I realize what is it. Smoking. In this part of the world, girls and women smoke as a sign of their independence. It is some sort of women emancipation movement. But women smoke in another way then men do. All I need is to look at how someone smokes, to be sure that person is a man or a woman. So, I give him a cigarette and I light one too.

"You have to learn this", I say. "If you want to be a woman, you have to smoke like a woman. You still smoke like a man. Try to do this in a more seductive way. Take the cigarette slowly to your mouth. Put it between your lips, wait half a second, then inhale. Before taking the cigarette away from your mouth, let a small cloud of smoke get out of your mouth, then open your mouth for a second and close it. Take a deep breath in by nose. Then, exhale. This is how a woman does it, how I do. Men take the cigarette fast to their mouth, inhale fast and keep the smoke in, to exhale also fast".

He tries to do as I said and manages to get it almost right, after some tries.

"One more thing", I say. "The way you keep your cigarette between your fingers must be improved. You are not doing it right. Try to do it like me".

He listens me and does all this. We smoke and he tries the best to copy me.

But, it is getting late. Tomorrow, we will both get to work. So, we go to sleep. Before that, I ask him wash and take off all his make-up.

**********

In the morning, he goes to work, but with his toenails painted. To remove the nail polish will take too much time. I am sure nobody will notice this anyway, because he has shoes and socks.

As I go to work, I light a cigarette and think about all this. Why are people so angry about gay and transgender people? Why are they rejected all over the world and most often in this area?

People here have a strong rejection against gay people. I can say they have against all sexual minorities and also against transgender and cross-dressing people. But why? If we take off from the equation the religious part of the problem, what do we have? What motivates people to behave like this?

I keep puffing my cigarette. The smoke enters my body and then forms a diffuse cloud in the air, forming some sort of haze around me. Where I live, 90% of the population smokes. However, in the Civilized World, many people are against smoking. But why? They say smoking causes many diseases. Well, so be it! If I will ever get sick from smoking, it is my problem, not their. Also, I think they are against smoking because this will convince their children to start to smoke too.

Well, isn't it the same with sexual minorities? I ask myself, taking another deep inhale, keeping the smoke inside me and then blowing it straight forward. Why do people here hate sexual minorities? Because they consider, in all religions, this to be a great sin. Well, it is their problem. If a gay person wants to have sex with another gay person, it is their problem, not mine.

Before Aslan started smoking, my smoke was something he did not like. He used to open the windows and to clean the ashtrays. However, his love was too strong and he never told me... but I could see in his eyes that he hated this. Now, he smokes too and he starts to like it.

Isn't it the same? A non-smoker does not like the smell of a smoker. In the same way, a person from the mainstream population will reject one from a sexual minority. But now, with all the experience of these two weeks, I say something different. I really have nothing against gay people or any other sexual minority. What I had, was because of the way I was grown. If I have something, is about obscene things. If I sit near a non-smoker, I open the window or I smoke outside, so I will not disturb that person. If two gay persons want to have sex behind close doors, I really have nothing against. But if they kiss in public, this is another problem. I never liked people kissing in public. It is a sign of disrespect to the others.

I think this is the problem. If they would accept to dress like everyone else and behave like everyone else on the street, nobody will bother them.

As I think about this, I continue to think about cross-dressing and transgender people. Why are people so upset against them? I am starting to realize that they are humans, like everyone else. And I realize that as long as they behave normal, nobody should be against them at all.

Thinking about this, I remember a site about cross-dressing people that I watched yesterday. What I noticed, is the lack of decency. They all use too much make-up and provocative clothes. What if those men would just wear clothes and make-up like any woman would do? I think this is the cause. If we take the erotic outfits out and replace them with what a girl would like to wear, then it all starts to settle down.

How about a man that is a perfect cross-dresser woman? And how about the opposite, a woman that is a perfect cross-dresser man? How will people react? What will they do? First of all, they will not realize the truth. I first think about myself. What if I perfectly become a man and Aslan perfectly becomes a woman? Even if someone will find out, as long as we keep decency, I think not much will happen. People will look surprised, but certainly will not kill us.

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