“Cheese!” I yell, pulling my widest grin as I and my other bandmates pose for a selfie with the excited young woman.

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” The girl- who I am told is barely eighteen years old- squeaks, before heading into the crowd to find other famous faces to photograph.

“You know, I like the idea, yeah?” Adeola says. “Giving, like, fans the chance to come to these parties…”

“Especially as, if memory serves, that’s how someone became part of this ‘family’ in the first place?” I tease Becca, who rolls her eyes and sighs over-dramatically.

“…Worked, didn’t it?” The brown-haired girl asked, triggering a mass giggle among her bandmates. “Maybe I’ll ask her to come back on Tuesday, just for that remark?”

“Don’t you dare!” I say, earning another mass giggle. The reason I don’t want any ‘interlopers’ going to the party on Tuesday, and the reason there’s a party on Tuesday at all, is because Tuesday is the 23rd of January- aka my 22nd birthday.

Plans for my 22nd birthday party were likely put in place shortly after the end of my 21st birthday party, and it’s the usual suspects- Jamie, Charlotte and Nikki- taking charge of organising it. What’s surprising, though, is that my girlfriend of three months isn’t having anything to do with the party.

In the four weeks since Christmas, when we first became ‘physical’, our relationship has been steady. It hasn’t ‘progressed’, and it certainly hasn’t ‘regressed’ either, it’s been… Steady. Okay. Alright. Not bad. Comfortable, maybe. Kayla and I have only been physical once since our first ‘encounter’ at Christmas, and that was partially due to Kayla drinking more than usual amount (it was our friend Katie’s birthday and Kayla drank two glasses of champagne, which is two more glasses than she would usually drink). And, as with our ‘encounter’ at Christmas, neither of us were particularly ‘satisfied’ afterwards.

I am, however, very satisfied with every other aspect of our relationship, and as far as I can tell, so is Kayla. Our default position on our sofa is cuddled together underneath a quilt (often with videogame controllers in hand), we often sleep together in a non-sexual sense (especially in the cold winter nights) and we share everything with each other, our feelings, our wants for our relationship… Which don’t always match each other’s.

Somehow, nobody new has found out about our relationship since Christmas. Nikki, Sarah, Natalie and Zoe have, as promised, kept their mouths shut, as have our families. Kayla is happy about this, but I’m, to put it bluntly, not. Keeping secrets has not only gone badly for me in the past, but it’s caused stress and has effectively been the source of all of my ‘breakdowns’. It’s a testament to the level of support I get from my family and friends that keeping my transition a secret from them caused more problems than the transition itself, and I’m absolutely convinced that this will be the case for my relationship as well- I just wish that Kayla could see it this way.

“Hey girls!” Jamie says, ending my brief daydream. “Was that Kelsie I just saw you talking to?”

“Yep!” Becca says. “Cool girl, even if she is a bit, you know, ‘eager’.”

“Hmm,” Jamie muses. “Kinda reminds me of someone who got a similar ‘gift’ a few years ago…”

“Oh god,” Becca moans as the rest of us giggle. “Am I going to be reminded of that all night?”

“Nah, we’ll stop when it ain’t funny anymore!” Adeola giggles, making her BFF sigh in an overdramatic way.

“And from my maid of honour, too…” Becca says, before giggling as we wrap her in a tight group hug.

“Though you were going to ask Emma to be maid of honour?” Jamie asks. “You were hers, weren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Becca says with a grimace. “But, you know, we talked, and she knows that me and Addie are WAY closer, so… Yeah.”

“And I don’t have a sister, so I ain’t gonna be a maid of honour any other way,” Adeola says. “Unless you two have got a guy neither of us know about?”

“Oh- no, no guy,” I say, biting my lip to keep from grimacing as I’m technically not lying.

“Steph and Kayla are obviously gonna be each other’s maids of honour anyway,” Becca says as I feel my nerves start to jangle. I want to tell my two friends about our relationship so badly. I want to tell EVERYONE about it- but a quick glance to my side reveals just how stressed this conversation is making Kayla…

“Ah, is there a better or more girly topic of conversation than weddings?” Jamie giggles.

“I can think of one,” Becca says with a smug grin. “My little niece, maybe?” The four of us all giggle as a happy, involuntary smile spreads across Jamie’s face at the thought of her baby daughter.

“Okay,” Jamie concedes. “Nothing’s better than that, hehe! Speaking of, I’m going to need to head off in a bit. I know it’s early, but I can’t sleep unless I get my nightly Olivia cuddle, hehe!”

“Make sure you give her one from her auntie!” Becca says with a wide, excited grin.

“Oh, I can probably manage that!” Jamie giggles.

“And one from her three other aunties too!” Adeola says.

“If I give her a cuddle from everyone, I’ll probably never put her down!” Jamie retorts.

“And that’s a problem because…?” Becca asks.

“…Nope, got nothing,” Jamie says, sharing a giggle and a gentle hug with her sister-in-law. “I’ll see you girls later. And by ‘later’ I mean ‘Tuesday’, miss soon-to-be-twenty-two-years-old!” This time, it’s my turn to giggle as I exchange a gentle hug with the woman with whom I had a very strong mutual dislike for months. Right now, though, things between me and Jamie have never been better, which makes my professional and my personal lives a lot easier. How she’ll react when she finds out about me and Kayla, though…

Kayla and I end up leaving the party shortly after Jamie. It’s not a ‘special’ party like a birthday or an anniversary celebration, so it’s no problem if we sneak off earlier than everyone else, and both of us let out heavy, tired sighs when we walk through our flat’s front door.

“We should NOT be obliged to attend parties when we were up early doing interviews,” Kayla moans, kicking off her high-heeled shoes and sprawling out on our sofa.

“Trust me, there are worse jobs!” I retort, making my girlfriend giggle.

“Oh- I wouldn’t give this up for anything,” Kayla says.

“Not even more fame, or more money?” I ask, flinching as my girlfriend gives me a withering stare.

“I have more money than I could ever spend,” Kayla replies. “As for ‘fame’, we spent this evening hanging out with a girl who entered a competition where the top prize was literally hanging out with us. Well, okay, us and the Angels, but still, you know?”

“I know the feeling,” I say with a grin. “Safe to say that three years ago, I never imagine my life being like this, hehe!”

“Oh- me either,” Kayla says.

“I especially never thought that I’d be going out with someone as amazing as you,” I whisper, kneeling down beside the tiny blonde girl and giving her a slow, soft kiss on her lips, something she eagerly reciprocates.

“It’s safe to say you’re not the person I thought I’d end up with,” Kayla whispers. “But I’m glad I did.”

“So am I,” I say, giving Kayla another gentle kiss. “Are- are we still planning on going to the dance class tomorrow morning?”

“Well, showing up after it, yeah,” Kayla says. “I know you want to talk to Natalie and Zoe.”

“Yeah,” I sigh, biting my lip as the petite girl frowns.

“I know it’s not easy for you, keeping it from everyone,” Kayla sighs. “It’s not going to be forever, I promise.” What, the secrecy or the relationship? I think to myself.

“Thanks,” I whisper. “Can- can we at least tell Becca and Addie? Now that we’re recording again, having to lie to them every-“

“They’re not exactly the most ‘discreet’ people in the world, are they?” Kayla asks. “Ugh, Steph, I- you know I hate making you keep things from people. Especially our friends. But- but I need to know, you know? Need to know- need to know if I’m ready to go public with this.”

“Okay,” I whisper, even though deep down inside, I’m NOT okay with this. It’s not just the fact that once again, I’m forced to keep secrets from my friends, or that Kayla knows how damaging this has been to me in the past- my main worry is how damaging this might be to her. The mere thought of revealing the relationship to everyone is clearly sending Kayla into a state of near-panic, and I can’t help but feel responsible, whether it’s through my example, my ‘history of deception’, or the mere fact I initiated this relationship in the first place- if Kayla does want to break it off, it’d make home life a hell of a lot harder…

The two of us head to bed shortly afterward, and as always, we sleep in our own separate beds. As I walk into my bedroom, though, I catch a glimpse of something that makes me equal parts excited and anxious- my reflection in my full-length mirror.

15 months on oestrogen has dramatically transformed my body- not that I was particularly masculine to begin with. My skin is soft, smooth and hairless, my waist is narrow and my hips and backside have widened, and even my chest is a more and more ‘prominent’ with every passing day. Wrapped in my skimpy clubbing dress, my shiny tan-coloured tights and stiletto heeled shoes (not to mention my thick, expensive make-up), I am every bit the woman I always fantasised about being when I was a boy. I don’t miss life as ‘Steve’ at all anymore. My sessions with Dr Phillips (and my many talks with friends like Jamie, Nikki and all my other transgendered friends) have helped me to realise that this is the only life I should be living.

And yet, I can’t help but wonder whether or not it’s ‘Stephanie’ or ‘Steve’ that Kayla wants to be with. Or, worse yet, whether or not I consider myself to be a lesbian…

“Good morning, sleepyhead!” I hear a familiar voice whisper as I’m slowly nuzzled awake. I roll over and am greeted by the smiling, make-up free face of my girlfriend, who’s wrapped herself in her warmest onesie and curled up on top of my bedsheets. My only reply is to give Kayla a long, soft kiss on her lips- as tense as the relationship makes me, moments like this make me happier than I have ever been in my life.

“Mmm, morning!” I say, giggling along with my girlfriend. “Do we really need to get up?”

“’Fraid so,” Kayla sighs. “Think the lesson’s already halfway done, heh. So get up!” I giggle as Kayla gives me another kiss and hops off my bed, heading to the bathroom and locking the door, laughing as I playfully protest from outside.

About half an hour later, the two of us head out of our flat, smiles on our faces but a noticeable physical distance between us as we head to the nearest tube station. Given how famous we are, we can’t afford to so much as hold hands for fear of ending up on the front pages of tomorrow’s tabloids, and even though I logically understand this, it still makes me frustrated.

It does help, though, that I know I look good in my tight turtleneck, my short skater skirt, my opaque black tights and (of course) my knee-high boots. And Kayla looks REALLY good in her long-sleeved black bodysuit, long hounds tooth pencil skirt and black heels.

Our hands remain apart as we enter the familiar surroundings of the Krystie Fullerton School of Dance, as even though the two people we’re here to see know about our relationship, there will be plenty of other people here today who don’t know- one of whom instantly brings a smile to our faces as she pirouettes around the light, airy studio in a voluminous pink tutu.

“Shake that booty, Anna-Jade!” Natalie- who, like the rest of the girls, is dressed in a pair of pink tights and a skin-tight black leotard- teases the ginger-haired ballerina.

“Fuck you,” Anna-Jade replies, making the rest of the room giggle as she finishes her dance and exchanges hugs with all of her friends.

“Very ‘elegant’,” Zoe says, earning more swearing from the Irish girl. “Maybe we should have asked you to wait so that you would have singing with the music?”

“Like I could fucking afford it!” Anna-Jade says with a giggle, before exchanging hugs with myself and Kayla. “Thanks for coming, you two! Even though I know you’re not REALLY here to see little old me…”

“We are happy to see you, though,” I say with a warm smile.

“And we’ve really missed you girls at the parties lately,” Kayla sighs. “Just cause the ‘Sky Angels’ programme didn’t, well, fly, doesn’t mean you’re, like, banned, you know?”

“Sadly, we’ve had proper jobs to do,” Jessica retorts, flashing a smug grin toward myself and Kayla. “Which is where I’ve got to go now, not on a flight today but got a supervisors’ meeting.”

“Swot,” Natalie teases the American girl, before greeting me and Kayla with hugs. “So glad you two were free this morning, been AGES since we last caught up.”

“You’re telling me,” I chuckle.

“I think Steph needs someone to, you know, ‘properly’ talk to,” Kayla says softly, biting her lip as I grimace and Natalie nods knowingly.

“Fortunately, I know just the place,” Natalie says with a smile. “Just let me get changed first- much as I’d love to wear this to work, hehe!”

“Maybe you need a better job?” Zoe asks, giggling as she plays with the straps of her leotard (which is, of course, her work uniform).

“And how many times have I asked you to teach me how to teach?” Natalie pouts with her hands on her hips.

“Ladies? Not here?” Kayla chastises, making everyone giggle as Natalie heads to the changing room, emerging a few minutes later in her work uniform, which consists of a knee-length black denim skirt, black tights, black flats and a polo shirt with the name ‘Natalie’ on one side of the buttons and the logo of her employer on the other side.

“…So we’re going to having brunch with ‘Natalie’ and not ‘Matthew’, then?” I ask.

“Who?” Natalie asks with a smug grin as her fiancée locks the studio doors and leads us to her car. “In all seriousness though… Yeah. ‘Natalie’ is, like, my ‘default’. ‘Matthew’ is only when I’m with my family, or I need to prove a point.”

“Thought you’d changed your name back to Matthew?” I ask.

“Yep,” Natalie replies. “But I’ve kept ‘Natalie’ as my middle name. Must’ve raised a few eyebrows at the deed poll department, hehe!”

“Especially as she shall be changing it again soon!” Zoe giggles.

“Would’ve done it already if SOMEONE wasn’t all ‘oh, but you can’t change before the wedding, it’s not traditional’…” Natalie mock-whines, giggling as her fiancée gives her a sharp punch in her arm.

“It is bad enough that your dress shall be sky blue!” Zoe retorts as I start to fidget in my seat- though not as much as Kayla is. Even though we’ve been friends for three years- and despite the fact that many people say we’re already ‘like an old married couple’- we have only been in a relationship for three months, far too short a time to be thinking about getting married, and short enough a time that merely listening to other people talk about their marriage makes us feel awkward.

“...Think we should change the subject,” Natalie says, pointing to the two of us on the back seat.

“My apologies,” Zoe says. “Is- is everything all okay with the two of you?”

“Yeah, we’re alright,” Kayla shrugs. “Just- just, you know…”

“It’s, like, ‘converting’ being best friends into being lovers…” I explain, deciding not to elaborate on the fact that as ‘lovers’ we haven’t done a great deal of ‘loving’.

“All the great relationships have some teething problems,” Natalie says.

“Though it is helpful to have someone you can speak with,” Zoe says softly. “And the more people you have to talk to…”

“Not that we won’t always be here to talk to,” Natalie clarifies. “Any time, day or night, you know that. Well, provided we’re not at work, anyway!” Kayla and I smile as the car approaches the modern-looking coffee shop where we’ll be hanging out today- or rather, where three of us will be hanging out.

“Travail!” Zoe teases her fiancée, who rolls her eyes as she approaches the staff entrance of the coffee shop.

“Hi Zoe,” the head barista says as we approach the counter. “Oh- hi Steph! Hi Kayla! The usual?”

“Please, Saffron,” I say to the young blonde woman, before finding a quiet table in the corner of the shop.

“I REALLY love what they’ve done with this place,” Kayla says, staring at all the Heavenly Talent-related decorations covering the wall as we sit down. “Would’ve thought it’d be a bit more popular than this, though…”

“It is still new,” Zoe shrugs. “People will discover the shop in their time. And not every Out of Heaven fan lives in London, you know!”

“Some of them live in Southampton,” Kayla says with a smug grin, which only gets wider when I give her a playful nudge. “We’ll just have to give Joshua loads of our money in the meantime. Even though he’s the one who gave it to us in the first place, heh!”

“The OBE at the New Year wasn’t enough for him, heh,” I say, making Zoe giggle.

“I have learned not to make comment on your English ‘ranks’,” Zoe says, before grinning as our waitress arrives with our drinks. “Ah, merci Laura!”

“You’re welcome!” The tall blonde girl giggles as she places our fancy, expensive drinks in front of us. “Can I get you anything else?”

“Sarah and her gang didn’t have any modelling work for you this weekend?” I ask the waitress, with whom I share a very special connection.

“Not this weekend,” Laura sighs. “Think they’ve almost finished everything for the year. And I’ve got exams of my own to prepare for, heh.”

“Ah, I don’t miss them!” Kayla giggles.

“That will be all for now,” Zoe says with a dismissive wave of her hand.

“Let me know if you need anything else,” Laura says, before a cheeky smirk spreads across her face. “Miss Abbott, Miss Ford… And the soon-to-be MADAME Renou-Briggs!”

“Allez-vous en!” Zoe giggles, before sighing as she sees mine and Kayla’s frowning faces. “We should be fair, she would not know. She should be the last to know, heh!”

“I can definitely agree with that!” I chuckle as I sip my sweet coffee. “Think I’ve told you before about some of the fans who have ‘shipped’ us, right?”

“’Shipped’ like… Preferred you as a couple?” Zoe asks.

“Yep,” Kayla sighs. “Some have even written fan fiction of us. That the last time I ever Google myself, heh!”

“I shall not ask about the ‘accuracy’ of the fan fiction,” Zoe says with a wink, though even this gesture isn’t enough to ease our tension. “Is- have I said something more?”

“…Kinda,” I sigh, gazing tentatively at Kayla, who nods her approval. “We- we’re not, you know… ‘Physical’. Not much, anyway.”

“Is- is this because of- because of your transition?” Zoe asks. Again, I glance toward my girlfriend and wait for her approval before continuing- it’s not like we could be discussing a more sensitive subject…

“Sort-of,” I sigh. “I know you don’t have this problem with Natalie because she isn’t on hormones, but I’m not exactly… ‘Performing’. And oestrogen kinda kills your libido as well, so… Yeah.”

“And this is a worry?” Zoe asks, making me and Kayla frown with confusion. “You did not get together simply for sex, did you?”

“Well- no,” Kayla says. “Me and Steph, we- we connect on SO many ways.”

“Sometimes it is like you think with one brain,” Zoe says with a warm smile. “You smile at the same time, you frown at the same time, you like all the same things… I was not surprised when I learned that you became more than best friends.”

“Everyone we’ve told seems to say that,” Kayla muses.

“Maybe that is because everyone is correct,” Zoe says. “Why are you looking for reasons the relationship is bad, when you should be looking for reasons the relationship is good?”

“I- ugh, I dunno,” Kayla sighs. “I- I just never really considered myself to be, you know, a lesbian…”

“…Which kinda makes me stress too,” I say, prompting a confused frown from Kayla. “Wondering whether or not it’s ‘Steph’ or ‘Steve’ that Kayla’s attracted to-“

“It’s Steph,” Kayla says firmly. “Okay? It’s only Steph because YOU’RE only Steph.”

“And what if I had been bigendered, like Natalie?” I ask, frowning as Kayla pauses.

“…Why should gender be important?” Zoe asks. “It does not matter what gender Natalie is. I am attracted to the person, not the ‘label’. And I believe the same is for you.”

“And you’re right,” Kayla says, sharing a giggle with me. “I guess I just worry, you know? We’re the only girl band in the world who has a transgendered member, so we’re gonna have, you know, ‘open-minded’ fans, but if they knew about us together… You know?”

“It’s hard to predict how they’d react,” I sigh. “Whether anyone would see me as ‘not really a girl’ for dating a girl when I’ve dated boys in the past, whether it would, you know, damage the image of the group, wondering what we get up to on tours…”

“And then there’s the worry about what everyone else would think,” I sigh. “Like Becca and Addie, or Jamie, Stuart, Joshua… We work with these people every day, it’s such a pain keeping it from everyone…” I grimace as I realise that I’ve just inadvertently really struck a nerve with Kayla, but a glance at her face reveals that not only is she not angry, but she’s actually nodding in agreement.

“We can’t afford to, you know, ‘slack off’,” Kayla says. “It shows how good friends you and Natalie and Nikki and Sarah are that no one else has found out yet. But it just takes one picture in the papers of us holding hands…”

“And I think I saw a photographer outside, too,” I sigh. “But, you know? Nothing good ever comes easy. If anyone should know that, it’s me, heh!”

“And I know how hard it is to keep a relationship secret,” Zoe says softly. “I was in a relationship with Natalie for months and keeping it secret from my sister while I was living with her! But in the end, she found out, and now everything is good, and she shall be maid of honour at my wedding!”

“Did I hear someone say ‘wedding’?” A familiar refined London accent asks as its owner approaches our table.

“Did I hear someone say ‘maid of honour’?” The equally familiar voice of the first person’s BFF asks with a giggle.

“Rebecca, Adeola, bienvenue!” Zoe says with a giggle, flashing a brief sympathetic smile in mine and Kayla’s direction.

“Bienvenue!” Becca giggles as she sits down at our table. “Hope you weren’t boring our ‘free’ girls with talk of weddings and dresses and honeymoons…”

“Umm, when is talk of that EVER boring?” Adeola asks.

“Can’t imagine it’s much fun when you’re single,” Becca says, giving me and Kayla a supportive smile. “Even if you are ‘single by choice’ right now…”

“We’ve got enough on our hands to have to worry about boys too,” Kayla snorts, making our bandmates giggle. “The album, the tour…”

“Yeah- which we have to worry about too!” Adeola retorts. “Doesn’t mean you can’t grab yourself a nice, big slice of man flesh for your downtime!”

“Glad you only like me for my ‘flesh’,” Marco says, giving Adeola a long, deep kiss as he sits down next to her while Becca’s fiancé sits down next to her.

“I like your bones, too!” Adeola giggles.

“Yeah, well no ‘boning’ here, please,” Riley says, thankfully ending the public display of affection.

“Especially as I think I saw a photographer outside,” Becca sighs, which causes me and Kayla to exchange a knowing glance. As frustrating as it is to keep our relationship a secret, sometimes it IS necessary.

“Gonna be plenty more of them when you two finally tie the knot!” Adeola teases her blushing BFF.

“Yes, well, you two must wait your turn!” Zoe giggles as Kayla and I try to relax and tune out the more ‘intimate’ details of the wedding-related talk that dominates the rest of the brunch.

Our ‘group’ stays at the coffee shop until early afternoon, before heading back to our respective homes (stopping off for some selfies with the other patrons first, of course). As soon as we’re out of earshot of our friends, both Kayla and I let out long, tired sighs, followed by giggles at yet another case of us ‘synchronising’.

“Sometimes I expect Becca to show up to work in a wedding dress,” Kayla says with a devilish smirk. “Can you imagine anyone being more ‘Bridezilla’ than her?”

“No one who isn’t already married,” I reply.

“Oh- me-ow!” Kayla teases, making me blush. “Not thinking of Becca’s sister-in-law, are you?”

“Maybe,” I say with a smug grin.

“I won’t tell her you said that,” Kayla giggles. “I’ll definitely not tell our producer you said that either!”

“Or her sister-in-law, hopefully,” I say, making my girlfriend roar with laughter as we climb into our waiting taxi.

“My lips are sealed,” Kayla says, smiling at me and taking a deep breath as her lips slowly part…

“When we get home,” I whisper as my heart rate starts to increase. Even though our long chat with Natalie and Zoe eventually turned into a short chat with just Zoe, it was more than helpful, as it helped me to realise one thing- that my feelings for Kayla haven’t changed since that first tentative kiss three months ago, and more importantly, her feelings for me clearly haven’t changed either. If I wasn’t really attracted to Kayla, I wouldn’t have kissed her, and if she wasn’t really attracted to me, she wouldn’t have kissed back. Sure, there are plenty of reasons why we shouldn’t be together, reasons we’ve discussed endlessly, but we only need one reason why we SHOULD be together- and that reason couldn’t be more obvious.

I have a wicked smile on my lips as we walk through our front door. As Kayla heads to the kitchen to make a warm drink, I duck into my bedroom and quickly strip off my skirt and my top, before reaching into my underwear drawer, grinning as always at the feeling of the soft lace between my fingers, especially as in a few seconds, it’ll be covering another part of my body…

“Steph?” Kayla calls from the kitchen. “You getting changed? You want a cup of tea?”

“I’m good, thanks,” I say, before stepping out of my bedroom and leaning seductively against the door. My eye make-up is thick and smoky, my lips are blood red, and most importantly of all, my body is covered only by a soft red satin basque that greatly enhances my cleavage, a frivolous matching thong and a pair of shiny dark stockings. I have to suppress a giggle as Kayla almost drops the cup of tea that she’s holding.

“Uh- wuh- wow…” Kayla gasps, before taking a deep breath and unzipping her skirt.

As with all of our lovemaking sessions- or rather, both of them to date- the ‘action’ is brief and, as much as I hate to admit it, not entirely satisfying. What is more than satisfying, though, is the wide grin on Kayla’s face as she cuddles her naked body closer to mine.

“Thought you said your hormones were killing your sex drive?” Kayla asks with a giggle.

“It’s not dead yet,” I reply. “Unlike some other things…”

“Oh, I think we worked around ‘that’ pretty well,” Kayla says. “It’s like Zoe says, sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of everything. And it’s like ‘it’ ruined Nikki and Sarah’s relationship, is it?”

“True,” I say, before giving my girlfriend another long kiss. “God… It’s still only 2:30pm, heh. Got anything you want to do for the rest of the afternoon?”

“Well, there is ONE thing,” Kayla says with a smirk.

“Go on…” I say.

“What would you say to…” Kayla teases coyly. “A marathon Splatoon session?”

“…You are the best girlfriend in the world,” I say, giving Kayla another long kiss before pulling on a comfortable pair of leggings and a hoodie and grabbing my Switch from where I left it on the coffee table.

We spend the rest of the afternoon and evening gaming and looking over our lyrics for tomorrow’s recording session, before turning in for an early night just after 9:30PM. Despite our earlier ‘fun’, Kayla and I, as usual, climb into our own, separate beds, dressed in our usual soft, comfortable pyjamas, but that’s okay- we have plenty of time for ‘more’ whenever we want. We do, however, exchange a long, loving kiss before saying good night to each other- a kiss that stays in my memories even as I drift off to sleep.

…And a kiss that surprises me the following morning as I wake up and find myself staring into my girlfriend’s beautiful emerald green eyes.

“Morning,” Kayla says with a happy giggle.

“Morning sexy,” I say, returning Kayla’s kiss. “Do we REALLY have to get up?”

“Yeah,” Kayla sighs. “’Fraid we actually have to earn our fame and fortune today, hehe!”

“Poor us,” I giggle, before letting out a long sigh that makes my girlfriend frown.

“What- what’s up, Steph?” Kayla asks, sliding next to me as I sit up.

“…Nothing,” I say with a cheeky grin, before leaping out of bed and heading to the door. “I just wanted to be first in the bathroom for once.”

“Oh- you-“ Kayla stammers in a state of shock as I lock the bathroom door behind me, giggling evilly all the while.

Naturally, when I open the door after showering, blow-drying my hair and applying my make-up, I find my girlfriend waiting for me with a look of utter fury on her teardrop-shaped face. Her anger quickly turns to laughter, however, as I pull my best ‘puppy dog eyes’ and pout deeply with my scarlet-coloured lips.

“…I’m still going to get my revenge,” Kayla says, exchanging a kiss with me before disappearing into the bathroom herself and making a point of very loudly locking the door.

A short while later, with both of us dressed in our now-trademark looks (Kayla in a tight top, long pencil skirt and heels and me in a warm long-sleeved bodysuit, a floaty black skirt and, of course, my favourite pair of knee-high boots), my girlfriend and I step through the front door of the head office of Heavenly Talent and head to the small recording studio in the back of the building, where our bandmates and producer are ready and waiting for us.

“Finally!” Becca says with an overdramatic sigh.

“You two get a late night or summat?” Adeola asks.

“…We’re twenty minutes EARLY,” I retort, making the two other girls giggle. “And no, got an early night, actually.”

“Spending all your afternoon and evening playing videogames, then?” Adeola asks.

“…Something like that,” Kayla says, exchanging a nervous glance with me.

“Okay, enough chatting,” Stuart calls from his booth. “Only got a month to go before the anniversary tour, we need to make sure we get these songs down perfectly.”

“We’ve been singing them continuously for three years!” Becca protests.

“Not the ones from the third album, you haven’t,” Stuart retorts, making the rest of us giggle as we find our headsets and take our place in front of our microphones. “We’re going to start with ‘Am I Only Dreaming’, from the top. You all ready or do you want to gossip a bit more?”

“I think you know the answer to THAT question,” Becca says with a smug grin.

“I do,” Stuart says. “And too bad, you’re gonna sing anyway. From the top…”

After two and half hours of practice, our producer mercifully allows us to take a break to rest our tired voices, and as we approach the refreshments table, talk instantly returns to mine and Kayla’s personal lives.

“I mean, you know,” Adeola says, “the two of you, like, spend virtually all your time together, you know?”

“…We LIVE together,” I protest.

“Yeah, but, you know…” Adeola shrugs.

“I think Addie might be trying to hint that you might want to spend time with other friends,” Becca says.

“Aww,” Kayla teases. “Do you want to spend more time with us, Becca?”

“…I was thinking more like, you know, a boyfriend,” Becca says. “At the rate you two are going you’re practically in a relationship with each other, heh.”

“Yeah,” I laugh nervously as I glance over at Kayla, whose eyes have gone wide with panic. “Umm… We just, you know, we just want to-“

“Want to enjoy being single, yes, we know,” Becca says. “I just, you know? Kinda feel like as the ‘big sister’ of the group, I- I don’t want you two to be missing out. Like, there’s a million guys in the country who’d give their right arm to go out with either of you, you know?”

“Two million who’d go out with both of you at the same time!” Adeola says, giggling as Becca gives her a playful shove.

“WE will pick who we want to go out with,” Kayla insists. “And if that’s nobody, then that’s nobody, okay?”

“O- okay,” Becca says, clearly taken aback by the tiny girl’s sudden hostility. “Sorry I brought it up…”

“No –no, I’m sorry,” Kayla sighs. “It’s just- it’s just a bit of a sensitive topic, that’s all…”

“Oh- oh…” Becca says. “I see…” I bite my lip as this reaction elicits another frown from Kayla- though the look in eyes gives away the fact that she’s more upset than angry.

“Hey,” I whisper as I approach the petite girl. “You- you okay?”

“Mm,” Kayla mumbles, though I can immediately tell that she’s holding back her true feelings.

“You know you can tell me if there’s something wrong, right?” I ask.

“It- it’s nothing,” Kayla whispers. “I’ll tell you at home.”

“Okay then,” I say. “If you’re sure…” I frown as Kayla nods, before finishing her drink and heading back to her microphone.

Throughout the rest of the morning, I keep an eye on Kayla, and with every passing minute, she gets more and more stressed out, which means that I get more and more frustrated as I have no way of helping her calm down- especially not in front of Becca, Adeola and Stuart. By the time we break for lunch, the petite blonde girl is so wound up it’s a wonder she doesn’t hurl her headphones through the floor when she takes them off- and it just frustrates me more when she walks straight past me en route to the toilet, not even smiling at me on her way past.

“What’s up with her?” Becca asks, momentarily startling me.

“Hmm?” I ask. “Oh- oh, Kayla? I, um, I dunno…”

“Huh,” Becca muses. “It’s not what I thought, then?”

“…Well I can’t read minds,” I say, making the brown-haired girl roll her eyes and giggle. “What did you think?”

“That she had a secret boyfriend,” Becca shrugs. “Emphasis on HAD. She’s giving off all the signals, you know?”

“’Signals’?” I ask.

“Changing the topic whenever anyone mentions relationships, getting defensive about everything…” Becca says.

“I- I kinda do that too,” I say, ironically hoping that it’ll make Becca change the topic.

“Not as much as her,” Becca retorts, making me grimace with frustration. “Hope she’s okay…”

“I- I’ll talk to her,” I say, heading to the small toilet block and frowning when I open the door and immediately hear the unmistakable and heartbreaking sound of my girlfriend quietly sobbing.

“K- Kayla?” I ask.

“Leave me alone,” Kayla moans.

“It- it’s me, Steph,” I say. “I’m alone.” I bite my lip as Kayla pauses, obviously deciding whether or not to send me away, before smiling as she exits her cubicle. It’s immediately clear from the state of her eye make-up how much she’s been crying. “God, Kayla…” I sigh and blink back tears of my own as Kayla and I share a long, tight hug.

“I’m sorry,” Kayla sniffs.

“No- no,” I sigh. “Don’t be sorry, just- just let me know what’s wrong, okay? Let me help you out.”

“How- how did you do it all that time?” Kayla asks. “Lie to people, I mean.”

“…Thanks for wording it like THAT,” I snort.

“I’m sorry,” Kayla mumbles, earning yet another hug from me. “And I guess I HAVE been lying to Becca, and Adeola, and all the others for months now, it- it’s just, you know? They won’t leave it alone…”

“That’s their problem, then,” I say.

“And ours too, as we have to work with them every day,” Kayla sighs.

“Why has it become such a problem now?” I ask.

“Oh- oh it’s been a problem for ages,” Kayla sighs. “Ever since Christmas. But now, it’s just- ugh. We’ve got months of this, Steph, between recording, then the tour, then more recording, then promoting the album… It’s just overwhelming, you know?”

“I think I know what you mean,” I sigh, before biting my lip as I consider my next words. “There- sadly, there’s only one way of solving the problem for good…” I take a deep breath as I feel Kayla tense up again, and I find myself unconsciously tensing up as well as I realise that there are two ways Kayla could interpret my suggestion- either as telling Becca and Adeola, which I what I meant, or as splitting up- which is the last thing I want, and hopefully the last thing that Kayla wants too…

“I- ugh,” Kayla spits, before taking a long, deep breath. “…Okay. Let’s tell them.”

“Wha- are- are you sure?” I ask, trying to disguise my excitement.

“I’m sure,” Kayla whispers. “I can’t go on like this.”

“This- this isn’t something you can just take back,” I whisper. “Once we tell them, we can’t un-tell-“

“I’m sure, okay?” Kayla asks, but I’m still far from convinced- this is a VERY sudden change of heart. “You said it just now, it’s the only way to solve the problem.”

“Umm, yeah,” I say. “It’s just- it’s just sudden, you know? I mean, you know I’d rather we told them, but you’ve always been dead set against it-“

“I. Am. Sure,” Kayla insists. “In fact, the sooner, the better. Can’t, you know, back out of it that way…”

“Okay,” I whisper. “You- you might want to fix your make-up first, heh…” I smile as Kayla giggles, before grabbing her make-up kit out of her handbag and repairing her destroyed mascara.

“Finally!” Becca says with a playful snort as Kayla and I emerge from the toilet block a short while later. “We- we all okay now?”

“Yeah,” Kayla says with a tired smile.

“Right then!” Adeola giggles. “Where we going for lunch? Starving after this morning…”

“There’s a new place that’s opened in Soho,” Becca replies. “It does custom sandwiches on freshly-baked artisan bread, like, prosciutto and brie on tomato and onion-infused bread.”

“Ugh, that sounds DELICIOUS,” Adeola sighs. “We are SO going there, hehe!”

“Actually…” Kayla says hesitantly as I grimace and wish I could squeeze her hand for support, “can- can we- can we eat in today? Please?”

“Umm, I guess,” Becca says, her voice exactly the same as it had been when talking with Kayla earlier. “They do other sandwiches, you know? Or is- is there another reason that you don’t want to go there?”

“Like, is- is there someone there you don’t want to see?” Adeola asks, having obviously been ‘briefed’ by Becca about her interpretation of the Kayla ‘situation’.

“No, it’s- “ Kayla replies, before letting out a long sigh. “I want- I need to tell you something. Both of you.”

“O- okay,” Adeola replies, growing visibly nervous. “You- you’re not leaving the band, are you?”

“What? No, hell no!” Kayla says. “It- it’s personal.”

“Should I make myself scarce?” Stuart- who’s passing through our ‘breakout area’ en route to reception- asks. “I sense a ‘girl talk’ coming on…”

“No- actually, umm, I’d kinda like to talk to you too…” Kayla says nervously.

“And- umm, is- is Jamie in the office today?” I ask, smiling as Kayla nods at me.

“She’s picking me up, we’re about to head out to lunch,” Stuart says. “Reckon we could always, you know, eat in instead with you guys, as long as you don’t mind the smell of baby food, heh.”

“The smell of baby more than makes up for it!” Becca says with a giggle. “As- as long as that’s okay with you, Kayla?”

“Sure,” Kayla shrugs as she exchanges a nervous, but supportive smile with me.

A few minutes later, the four of us, along with Stuart, Jamie and Olivia, are sat around a makeshift dinner table in our breakout area picking at a sandwich platter Jamie collected from a nearby Subway (apart from Olivia, of course, who’s eating her own lunch). While everyone’s enjoying their food, it’s clear that they’re slightly agitated to have had their dinner plans disrupted- and it’s clear they know who’s to blame for that, too, judging by the stares that keep shooting in Kayla’s direction (with a few heading in my direction as well).

“Okay,” Kayla says, taking a deep breath as she struggles to swallow the last part of her sandwich. “You’re all obviously wondering why I’ve asked to talk to you.”

“Why- why WE’VE asked to talk to you,” I say, bringing a shocked look to my girlfriend’s face, before she nods her approval.

“Umm… Steph?” Becca asks, obviously confused by my speaking up.

“What’s this about?” Jamie asks as Kayla and I each take a deep breath.

“It-“ Kayla and I say simultaneously, giggling at the two of us synchronising yet again.

“…You go,” Kayla mumbles, gripping my hand supportively.

“Ka- Kayla and I are in a relationship,” I say, trying not to grimace as the jaws of everyone sat at the table drop open. “We have been for about three months.”

“Se- seriously?” Adeola asks. “You- you’re not, like, having us on?”

“We’re serious,” Kayla says, before wrapping her arms around my neck and giving a long, gentle kiss.

It’s hardly the first time I’ve kissed Kayla, but for some reason, this one feels more special than any of the others. It could be because it was Kayla who initiated it out of the blue- just as I had our first kiss- or it could be because we’re stood in front of all of our friends, finally expressing our love publicly (well, as publicly as we dare for now, anyway). Either way, I feel a kind of exhilaration that I’ve only felt once before- when I first presented ‘Stephanie’ to my parents and was immediately accepted. Internally, I’m praying that this ‘coming out’ will go as well as that one…

“…Good for you,” Stuart says with a warm smile. “Seriously, I mean it, you’ve obviously got a lot of love for each other, so, well, good for you!”

“My brother’s right,” Becca says. “Don’t get used to me saying that, idiot.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Stuart says with a snort of laughter as I feel the adrenaline start to fade from my trembling body.

“But yeah, seriously,” Becca says. “You two- I kinda had a feeling it might happen at some point.”

“You teased us enough about it,” I retort, making Becca giggle and blush.

“Okay, I guess,” Becca sighs.

“So,” Jamie says cautiously. “Three months, eh?”

“Yep,” I say nervously as I start to worry about how the blonde woman will reply to being left in the dark like this. Fortunately, her lips curl upward into a genuine smile, rather than opening to bare her teeth at me.

“Who else knows about this?” Jamie asks, not in a judgemental tone, but one of genuine curiosity.

“Just our families,” Kayla says. “Nikki, Sarah…”

“…Sarah’s mum, Natalie, Zoe…” I continue. “Think- think that’s about it.”

“…We were almost in the top ten, then,” Jamie mumbles, before letting out a long sigh as Kayla and I- and, to my surprise, everyone else at the table- frowns. “Okay, okay, sorry… There’s no reason why we should be this far up the list, I accept that. And you DO look happy together.”

“We are,” Kayla says.

“Guess that explains why the videogame sessions have been few and far between,” Stuart says. “You two wanting your privacy… What?”

“BOY,” everybody else in the room says accusingly- even Olivia, who babbles a loud ‘bahhh’ after everyone else has spoken.

“Even my own daughter,” Stuart dramatically sighs, which thankfully helps to lighten the mood in the room.

“I just- I just wanna know why you felt you couldn’t trust us,” Adeola sighs. “I mean, why keep it such a secret?”

“And why did you feel you could tell Natalie and Zoe and not the people you’ve seen every single day for the last three years?” Becca asks.

“We- we needed to be sure that we knew where we were going, what we wanted,” Kayla explains.

“We didn’t want to, you know, get everyone excited…” I mumble.

“It’s not that you didn’t trust us, then?” Adeola asks, clearly as upset as her BFF by the fact that we kept our relationship a secret from them.

“The more people know, the more- the more likely it is to get leaked to the public,” I say. “We don’t want the fans knowing. Not yet, anyway.”

“And you’ll now have to decide whether or not to tell your uncle,” Kayla reminds our dark-skinned bandmate.

“…Ah,” Adeola says with a grimace. “You know he’ll want to make the most of it, look to, you know, make publicity of it…”

“Which is the last thing we want right now,” Kayla says.

“Says the girls who put themselves in the public eye,” Jamie says, earning more frowns from everyone else. “I’m serious, you two really should consider what you’re doing, and I speak from experience. I kept my transgendered status from the public for ages, and that only caused hassle once it was well-known. Being a celebrity is a lot of fun but it comes with a lot of responsibilities too. If you lose your fans you effectively lose your job, and lying to them is the easiest way to do that.”

“Though as you’ve only been going out three months, the ‘damage’ should be minimal,” Stuart says. “And knowing Joshua, he’ll be able to spin the relationship to, like, get even more fame and publicity for the group. And more money, too!”

“And what happens if we break up?” Kayla asks. “What would that do to the publicity? What would that do to the band, even?”

“We should still tell my uncle,” Adeola says quietly. “Or even Jon, I know he’s in today, he’ll be able to handle this some way, right?”

“We don’t- we don’t want our relationship to be ‘handled’,” I say firmly. “We just want to be allowed to, you know, get on with it in our time.”

“Well we promise we won’t tell anyone you don’t want to know,” Becca says, “but it’s gonna be really hard to keep a lid on it, and the longer you go on keeping it a secret, and the more people you tell…”

“Yeah, we know,” Kayla sighs. “And believe me, we are REALLY careful in public. You know what’d happen if the fans got hold of this…”

“And what will happen when they find out they’ve been kept in the dark for so long,” Jamie says quietly. “I’m not saying that what you’ve done is wrong- that’s the last thing I’d suggest. You two make a REALLY cute couple! But you know how fans can be, and some of them do already, you know, ‘ship’ you…”

“Ugh, yeah,” Kayla sighs.

“Didn’t that American couple, Alexa and Jenny, assume that you were in a couple when they came over last year?” Stuart asks.

“Think that was only because Nikki used that stupid ‘Stayla’ name,” Kayla replies.

“And we weren’t even together then anyway,” I say. “Our first- well, we got together a few days after our Wembley Arena concert.”

“After the NFL game?” Stuart asks, smiling as I nod. “I thought you looked a little distracted on the bus.”

“Anyway, like Becca said, you don’t have to worry about us blabbing to anyone,” Jamie says with a reassuring smile. “Your private lives are exactly that- private. Just- just be careful of the people who disagree with that, and as you know, there are quite a few of THOSE.”

“But we’re not one of them,” Becca says as her BFF continues to frown.

“…Addie?” I ask.

“I ain’t keeping this from my uncle,” Adeola says. “You know he’s gotta find out.”

“He will be supportive,” Jamie says reassuringly. “He won’t read you the riot act just ‘cause you’re going out with each other. Though he probably won’t be happy about you keeping it from him. Either way, you should tell him.”

“I can call him now, if you want, bring him here…” Adeola mumbles.

“…No sense in putting it off,” I sigh. “Don’t want to put you in an even more difficult position, heh.” I smile as Adeola grabs her phone and heads outside to make a phone call, before bidding farewell to Jamie and Olivia with a hug each.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Jamie asks.

“To- tomorrow?” I ask, blushing as Jamie giggles.

“Your birthday?” The blonde woman reminds me. “God, this has got you wound up, hasn’t it?”

“…Maybe a bit,” I say as my cheeks go an even deeper shade of red.

“I’ll make sure not to point any eligible, single hunks of man flesh toward you or Kayla tomorrow, then,” Jamie says with a sly wink. “See you tomorrow, Steph. And please believe me when I say that I AM happy for you. For both of you.”

“Thanks,” I say, exchanging another hug with Jamie before waving her and her daughter goodbye.

Twenty minutes later, Kayla and I find ourselves shaking with nerves once again as we sit in front of the vast, posh desk of our agency’s owner, with the great man himself listening politely to our story.

“So… Yeah,” Kayla says. “Me and Steph are a couple, we- we want to make a go of things, but not in public. We don’t want to become, you know, a ‘power couple’ or anything like that… We especially don’t want to overshadow the band.”

“I see,” Joshua says, nodding as he tries to process the information he’s just been given. He appears calm on the outside, though whether that’s because he’s trying to remain calm because of his heart condition is anyone’s guess…

“We would have told you earlier,” I blurt. “But we wanted first-“

“I am not angry,” Joshua reassures me. “Obviously, I would have preferred if you had told me earlier. But you have told me now, I did not find out from a newspaper, or from the internet… I appreciate that a new relationship is a complicated thing, especially as you already live and work together! If you need space and privacy, then I will ensure that is what you get. However, I will say that these things do not stay private forever. People have a way of finding out, and they- well, I do not need to tell you of all people that keeping secrets and misleading people is never a good thing.”

“Believe me, I know,” I whisper.

“If you wish to keep this quiet, then my lips will be sealed,” Joshua says. “But pay attention to what I have said. The longer you wait to tell your fans, the less happy they will be when they eventually find out. I am not saying that your relationship with your fans will be damaged beyond repair. But put yourself in their shoes.”

“We understand,” Kayla says.

“Ensure that you do,” Joshua says, before breaking into a wide smile. “But most importantly, ensure that you enjoy your lives. You are young and in love. There can be nothing better than that. And make sure that you enjoy tomorrow, birthday girl!”

“Oh- I will, I will!” I say with a giggle. “Not having a costume party, I never do really, but- yeah. Really looking forward to it now that- now-“

“Now that there is a weight off your mind?” Joshua asks with a deep, uncharacteristically quiet chuckle.

“Basically- yeah,” I say with a giggle of my own.

“The weight will be lessened, the more people you tell,” Joshua advises. “Now go! You still have beautiful music to make, the two of you!”

“Can do!” Kayla giggles before we leave the office to the sound of our boss’s trademark booming laugh.

When we return to the studio, Kayla and I are greeted by long, tight hugs from both of our bandmates, before being ushered to our regular microphones to- as Joshua put it- make beautiful music. In a literal sense, of course.

“We’re going to do a quick run-through of ‘Time Flies’,” Stuart says. “Had an idea for a different mix that might sound better on stage. Unless, of course, you two have any duets you want to sing first?”

“…Seriously?” Kayla asks. “Teasing already?”

“Nah, we’re just so excited, though!” Adeola giggles. “Find out two of our best friends have got together… Gonna make tomorrow’s party a bit exciting!”

“It’s gonna make it no different!” I insist. “Honestly. We want to keep it between as few people as possible for now. Joshua has agreed to this too.”

“Really?” Adeola asks. “Must’ve taken some persuading…”

“Well we DID persuade him,” Kayla says. “Seriously, can we- can we please just go on as normal?”

“Gonna be hard, now that we know what you two have been doing over the last few months!” Becca giggles.

“We’re still the same girls,” I argue. “We just- it’s just the relationship between us that’s changed. That’s all. Can we please move past this?”

“Okay, okay,” Becca concedes, clearly surprised by my outburst. “We said we’d respect your privacy and we will. Doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it in here, right?”

“Well- I guess not,” I shrug.

“As long as your questions aren’t TOO personal,” Kayla says.

“Oh- don’t worry, THAT isn’t my thing, hehe!” Becca says with a snort of laughter.

“Even though I’m- umm, you know…?” I ask.

“You’re… What?” Becca asks with a warm grin. “An ordinary girl who just happens to fancy people of the same gender?” I bite my lip as I feel a tear form in the corner of my eye. Even though I’ve known Becca for three years, and she is obviously perfectly comfortable in the company of transgendered people, it always warms my heart to be reminded of just how accepted ‘Stephanie’ is by my friends.

“Thanks,” I whisper, taking a couple of deep breaths to compose myself.

“And YOU are not allowed to think about Stayla!” Becca says accusingly to her brother, who reacts with mock offence.

“Who’s the only person in this room who’s happily married and a parent?” Stuart retorts, making us all giggle. “Either way, you’re not getting paid to gossip. That’s my wife and her friends who do that.”

“Oh, I am SO telling her that!” Becca teases.

“See if I care,” Stuart says with a snort of devilish laughter. “’Time Flies’. From the top. NOW.”

“Yes, sir!” Becca mock-salutes as the familiar opening bars to the song plays through the studio.

Later that afternoon, once our work is done for the day, we prepare to head home, though not before exchanging yet more hugs with our bandmates and our producer- all of whom we remind to keep quiet about our relationship (and to not refer to us as ‘Stayla’). Once we’re in our taxi heading home, though, both Kayla and I yet again let out a long, simultaneous sigh.

“Stop that,” I tease my girlfriend, who giggles and lets out another tired sigh.

“I’ll get back to you on that,” Kayla replies. “That was definitely a different day of work, heh!”

“In a few weeks our ‘work’ is gonna involve singing to thousands of screaming fans, and you call THAT ‘different’?” I say, giggling as Kayla sticks her tongue out at me.

“You know what I mean and you know why,” Kayla says, before grinning. “I do- I do feel happier now that things are a little less, you know, ‘secret’…”

“It is a nice feeling, isn’t it?” I ask, resisting the urge to give my girlfriend a tight hug.

“Yeah,” Kayla whispers. “But they’re all we’re going to tell for now, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper. “And in fairness, they are the only, you know really important people other than our families. No one else really, you know, NEEDS to know, right?”

“Yep!” Kayla says, giggling as we head back to our warm, cozy flat.

We spend the rest of the day relaxing by watching Netflix and playing videogames late into the night. As we have tomorrow off work- for obvious reasons- it’s gone midnight before we go to bed, but other than a goodnight kiss (which Kayla slips a sneaky ‘happy birthday’ into), we have no ‘intimate’ contact before we head to our separate beds.

When I wake up the following morning, though, I’m not surprised to discover the onesie-clad Kayla practically sitting on top of me on my bed, carrying a banner that reads ‘Happy 22nd Birthday Stephanie’.

“Happy birthday to you…” Kayla sings with her beautiful voice. “Happy birthday to you… Happy birthday MISS Stephanie… happy birthday to you!”

“Aww, thank you!” I squeak, sitting up and giving the petite girl a tight hug and a long, deep kiss.

“I SHOULD have sung that in front of 20 000 people, like you did to me in October,” Kayla giggles, “but I figured this is more ‘intimate’, heh.”

“I prefer this way,” I giggle.

“Me too,” Kayla says, giving me another kiss. “What time are your parents expecting us?”

“Not until late morning,” I say. “We’ve got plenty of time for, you know, other things…”

“Hmm… Maybe later,” Kayla says with a giggle, before giving me a playful kiss and sliding off my bed. In truth, I’m not too disappointed by this- I never could understand people who regularly had sex in the morning, and besides, I’m more excited by what’s waiting for me in the living room.

“Oh- wow,” I say as I step into our living area to find it almost buried in red and pink streamers. More banners, similar to the one Kayla has tied around me like a sash, are hanging from the walls, and floating in the middle of the room are three large pink and silver balloons- one shaped like an ‘S’ and two shaped like ‘2’s.

“You approve?” Kayla asks with a smug grin.

“Hell yeah I approve!” I giggle. “This is even fancier than last year…”

“Well…” Kayla says coyly. “We weren’t a couple last year, were we?” I giggle as Kayla gives me a playful kiss, before sitting me down on the sofa next to a huge pile of carefully-wrapped gifts and staring at me intently.

“…Hint taken,” I giggle as I take the top present from the pile and tear it open.

Even though the only presents in the room are Kayla’s, they still take almost half an hour to open, and include new clothes and make-up, some more ‘intimate’ items of clothing (that Kayla’s strongly hints she want to see me wearing later on), a couple of new videogames and some expensive French perfume. My favourite gift by miles, though, is a fancy silver watch, which Kayla immediately fastens around my right wrist.

“It’s beautiful,” I say softly.

“Like its owner,” Kayla whispers, giving me another gentle kiss. “Look at the clasp.”

“Umm, okay…” I say, before letting out a small gasp. On the clasp is a small, but intricate inscription- the initials SCA and KSF intertwined, as though they were merging into one. “…It’s perfect.”

“Just like its owner!” Kayla giggles. “Now get showered and dressed, want to get to your parents’ before noon. Unless you don’t want to see Danny or Rachel before tonight?”

“Well…” I shrug, giggling as Kayla flicks a discarded piece of wrapping paper at my face. “Okay, okay, yes ma’am!” Kayla and I both giggle as I mock salute her, before heading to the shower and thoroughly cleaning my smooth, hairless body- but not before taking off my precious new watch, of course!

The watch takes pride of place when I later get dressed, pulling on a comfortable cotton bra and thong set (but seriously considering some of the ‘intimate’ items Kayla gave me today!) before covering up with a pair of opaque black tights and a long-sleeved maroon dress with a short, playful skirt that flares outward with every step I take. As today’s my birthday, I decide against living up to my ‘Steffieboots’ nickname and instead opt for a pair of cute flats with shiny black bows on them.

“So cute!” Kayla squeaks as I emerge from my room and do a playful twirl. “AND girly, hehe!”

“Thanks!” I giggle, giving my girlfriend a gentle kiss. “You’re cuter, though. You’re always cuter, hehe!”

“Thanks,” Kayla says with a smug grin as she does a slow twirl in her usual clingy top, long pencil skirt and high heels ensemble (though even with her in heels and me in flats, she’s still noticeably shorter than me). “Come on, birthday GIRL, your family’s waiting!”

I giggle excitedly as I head down to the waiting taxi, which whisks us toward my parents’ home, where Kayla and I are both greeted by tight hugs from my parents, friendly hugs from my brothers and their fiancées, and best of all, a gentle cuddle from my baby niece.

“Happy birthday ‘big’ Steph!” Dad says as he ushers me and Kayla into the living room, where yet another pile of presents is waiting for me.

“Typically, the richest member of the family also gets the most birthday presents,” Danny teases, giggling as I give him a playful punch in his arm. “Hey, I’m not wrong, am I? Hope you remember us paupers on our birthday…”

“When have I not?” I ask. “And besides, I’m also the youngest member of the family. Well, I WAS, hehe!”

“Not that your auntie minds you stealing her spotlight!” Tom says to his daughter in a soft, playful voice.

“Have you already opened your presents from Kayla?” Mum asks.

“Yep!” I squeak happily. “Including this!” I smile I show off my new watch, making the women in the room sigh happily.

“That is SO beautiful,” Rachel coos. “What’s- what’s the inscription on the clasp?”

“It- it’s mine and Kayla’s initials intertwined,” I explain, making everyone sigh happily again.

“I kinda- I kinda thought it’d be, you know, nice…” Kayla mumbles, her cheeks starting to redden.

“Well I know I’m jealous,” Rachel says, making the younger of my two brothers roll his eyes.

“Thanks, Kayla,” Danny sighs, this time earning a playful punch from my girlfriend!

“So- so you’d be okay wearing it out in public?” Tom asks, instantly lowering the mood in the room. “If the press, or your fans catch a glimpse of the clasp…”

“Well- well it’s in a very fancy script,” I retort. “And Rachel’s probably the smartest person in the room, and if I had to explain it to her…”

“I’m sure it won’t cause any problems,” mum says with a smile. “It’s a beautiful piece of jewellery and a very lovely gesture, Kayla.”

“Thanks,” my girlfriend whispers, her cheeks now a very bright red.

“How are things between you two, anyway?” Dad asks.

“Presents first, gossip later!” Danny complains, giggling as our father is the next person to give him a clout, this time a slap on the back of his head.

“…We’re fine,” I explain, linking my fingers with Kayla’s to emphasise the point. “We- we actually told a few more people yesterday. Becca, Adeola, Jamie and Stuart… Joshua too.”

“How did he react?” Danny asks.

“He was okay with it,” Kayla says. “Reckons we should tell more people, though.”

“He might have a point,” Tom says.

“If it’s just those guys you’ve told, that still leaves a lot of people who don’t know,” Rachel says softly. “A lot of people who’ll be at the party tonight.”

“…Presents first, gossip later,” I say, taking a deep breath to calm myself as my family nod politely, though it’s obvious that they’re still concerned about mine and Kayla’s need for privacy.

My family’s presents are less intimate than Kayla’s, though that is to be expected- and they are still very thoughtful, including more jewellery, some accessories for our flat and a few more frivolous gifts such as wine and chocolates. Thankfully, the topic of conversation stays away from the ‘publicity’ of mine and Kayla’s relationship, and the topic of the relationship itself vanishes when we decamp to Danny & Rachel’s pub for a filling lunch. I am, however, forced to concede that Rachel is right, especially when Kayla and I arrive at Charlotte’s house later in the evening and are greeted by the woman herself with a gentle hug each.

“Happy birthday Steph!” Charlotte squeaks, taking care when hugging us not to put too much pressure on her bump.

“Aww, thank you!” I giggle, taking care not to crease my expensive strapless black dress too much!

“Oh my god,” Charlotte gasps as she grabs my wrist and examines my new watch. “Who got you this? It’s gorgeous…”

“Oh- umm…” I mumble, instantly regretting wearing the new watch to the party. That only took fifteen seconds, I think to myself.

“I- I bought it,” Kayla says with a nervous smile.

“Oh- really?” Charlotte asks. “Hell of a gift, even for a best friend… Think I need to lean on Jamie a bit more before my next birthday, hehe!”

“Yeah,” I say with a nervous giggle.

“You two really are great best friends,” Charlotte muses as we head into her already-bustling main room. “Guess that’s why the band works, like the Angels- pairs of best friends who get on well with each other. Even when BOYS get in the way, heh!”

“Yep!” Kayla giggles, flashing me a nervous look as Charlotte attracts the attention of everyone in the room.

A few moments later, Charlotte delivers a short speech, before I’m treated to yet another rendition of ‘Happy Birthday to You’ and ushered to my third present pile of the day. These presents are even less ‘intimate’ than the ones from my family, but no less welcome- especially Becca and Adeola’s gift of a necklace with a very special jewel in the middle. The jewel is made up of four separate stones, one red, one pink, one yellow and one gold- the ‘colours’ of myself, Kayla, Becca and Adeola respectively.

“We got you this a few weeks ago,” Becca explains as she helps to fasten it around my neck. I nod my head, letting the brown-haired girl know that I know what she really means is ‘we got this before we knew that you and Kayla were a couple’.

“It’s beautiful,” I say softly. “Thank you both so much!”

“Didn’t you wanna go thirds on the necklace too, Kayla?” Mary- one of the Angels (and therefore one of our friends)- asks, and I can see my girlfriend’s body almost seize up with the tension. “So it’s kinda, like, a ‘band’ thing?”

“This- this is kinda an ‘us’ thing,” Adeola explains, gesturing toward herself and Becca.

“Ah,” Mary says with a giggle. “An ‘Adiecca’ thing!”

“You are NOT calling us that!” Becca complain. “Bad enough you call me and Riley ‘Briley’…”

“And I got Steph a couple of things anyway, heh,” Kayla says with a nervous giggle.

“I think Stayla and Adiecca should treat us to one of the songs they’ve been rehearsing for the last few weeks!” Jonathan says, making all four of us groan with frustration- though internally, I’m glad that focus has been drawn away from ‘Stayla’.

Thankfully, after our impromptu song, the party starts for real, with everyone mingling, chatting, dancing and NOT asking me about my watch or about my relationship with Kayla. And yet, I can’t help but feel stressed out- and it’s obvious that Kayla feels the same way.

“Jesus,” Kayla sighs as we sit down next to each other on one of the many sofas lining the outside of the room. “Of all the things Mary could’ve asked, she picks THAT?”

“Sometimes I think someone up there is having fun at my expense,” I snort. “Sorry- at OUR expense, heh. Wouldn’t surprise me even if people already know and are just humouring us.”

“Sounds about right,” Kayla laughs. “You know, I really wouldn’t have been offended if you hadn’t worn the watch tonight.”

“I’m pretty I would’ve,” I say with a giggle. “It is GORGEOUS.” I share a smile with my girlfriend as we gaze into each other’s eyes, and a part of me wants to kiss her right here at the party- and I can tell that a part of her wants to kiss me too…

“Hey you two!” Jamie says, snapping us both out of our ‘trance’ as she sits down next to us. “Enjoying your party?”

“It’s awesome,” I enthuse. “Even better than last year’s, hehe!”

“22 is the new 21,” Jamie says with a giggle. “Though Mary’s question… Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Kayla whispers.

“I did have a chat with Joshua,” Jamie explains. “After you two spoke to him. We kinda agree that keeping a relationship private when you’re famous, like you two, is kinda wishful thinking. And a relationship between two members of the same band is unprecedented- then again, it’s not the only thing about the band that’s unprecedented, heh.”

“But it should still be our decision,” Kayla says. “About, you know, who to tell and when to tell them…”

“Oh- definitely,” Jamie says. “But I saw how awkward you were when Mary asked her question. And I can tell you right now that she would offer you nothing but support if you told her. The same goes for literally every person in this room. Even if you were to get up and tell them right now, all that would happen is they would probably celebrate even more. And they’d all guarantee your privacy as well.” For all our disagreements, I’m forced to concede that Jamie is right. The ‘extended family’ always looks after its own, and even after all I’ve done over the past few years, even after all the lies I’ve told, the fact that so many have showed up to celebrate my birthday proves that beyond a doubt. And yet, I can immediately tell that the idea of telling just one other person is making Kayla tense up.

“…In our own time,” I say, smiling nervously as Kayla nods.

“It’s your decision,” Jamie shrugs. “I just have one other piece of advice for you.”

“Which is?” I ask.

“Enjoy your party!” Jamie replies, giving me and Kayla a gentle hug each before heading off to dance with her husband.

Kayla and I do enjoy the rest of the party- even if we do enjoy it separately, rather than as a couple. We also enjoy the rest of the night after we head home, even if we do end up sleeping in separate beds once again. And we enjoy the following morning’s regular all-Angel ballet lesson, even I’m the one who dances in the fancy tutu and pointe shoes while Kayla stays on the side in her leotard, pretending to be ‘just a friend’, just like most of the other girls believe us to be.

I’m happy with the arrangement as it is now- I don’t have to lie to the people closest to me and Kayla and I are closer than ever. As the party proves, though, things are far from perfect. However, the fact that Kayla wasn’t just okay with telling our friends, but actually suggested it, tells me that things are finally moving in the right direction- I just wish they could move a bit faster, that’s all…