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Chapter 14
By Flummox

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Rayne collapsed into her bed. She felt emotionally exhausted. It had been a long day filled with talking, emotions, and talking about emotions. Ultimately, everything had gone better than she had expected. Much better in fact. Rayne had been punished for lying and forging her parent’s signatures, but that was understandable and deserved. She had been grounded for a month. No internet, no video games, no phone except for emergencies and when she was out of the house, and no going out except for school. The only exceptions to the ‘no going out’ clause was for the art gallery in two weeks, for family outings, and for tomorrow. Rayne’s heart soared at the thought. Just last week she had been dreaming of having a day of shopping with Evalyn and their Mother, and tomorrow it was going to happen. When the verdict had come down from their parents, Rayne had readily agreed, but Evalyn had objected. She had insisted, that with the art gallery being only two weeks away, that Rayne would need a new outfit. Their father thought the idea was ridiculous, but their mother hesitated for a long moment. Evalyn capitalized on that moment to point out that Rayne’s wardrobe was pitifully small. So small, in fact, that every outfit she owned had already been worn in the initial three showings. Catalina sighed before finally agreeing with Evalyn.

Rayne sighed heavily. Everything was out in the open now. At least to her immediate family. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her chest. They had listened to her pour out her heart and soul, and they had accepter he without a second thought. They still cared about her. They still loved her. How she ever could have doubted them she might never know. The next step, was telling the extended family. All of her aunts, uncles, and cousins. And Grandpa and Grandma. Oh right. That’s why she doubted her family. It didn’t matter though. Regardless of what the rest of the family thought, Sebastian, Evalyn, and her parents accepted her. Sure, if the rest of the family rejected her it would hurt, but as long as she had the love and support of those four people closest to her, she would get through it.

Rayne sat up on her the edge of her bed. She pulled the nighty out of the hiding spot. The hiding spot that was no longer needed. She knew she’d feel yucky in the morning if she slept in her clothes again, so as tired as she was, she forced herself to change. Moments later, she collapsed into her bed once again, and soon drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she had had in a long time.
 

~o~O~o~
 
Catalina sighed heavily. She turned to look at her husband. His face was blank.

“What are we going to do?” She asked him quietly. The kids had each gone to their respective rooms, but were likely still awake. They needed to talk quietly if they wanted to talk privately.

Jameson shook his head and held his hands out helplessly, “I have no clue. Neither of us really has any experience with this. Right?”

Catalina nodded. They embraced. For a long moment, they just stood in each other’s arms. Thinking about what they could do to help their youngest child.

“Maybe it’s just a phase?” Catalina suggested hopefully.

She felt more than saw Jameson shake his head.

“I don’t know Lina. He- she-… Our child seemed pretty sure.”

“I disagree. He said ‘I think.’ Not ‘I am’. He’s not sure yet. It could just be a phase.”

“I suppose.” Humored Jameson, although he didn’t believe it.

A long silence stretched between them.

Finally, Jameson broke the silence.

“Maybe… Maybe you should call your brother. Maybe Noah or Morgan could offer some advice.”

Catalina looked up suddenly, “Why didn’t I think of that? I’m sure they would know a lot more about all of this than us.”

Noah was Catalina’s younger brother, and Morgan the name of his husband. Noah had come out as a teenager and had been an active member of the LGBTQ community in Nova Scotia – where Catalina and Noah had grown up – ever since. He and Morgan had met at pride one year, and the rest was history. Catalina had moved away from the province to go to school in Ottawa where she had met Jameson. Together, they had eventually moved back to British Colombia, settling on the small community of Lakeswood to avoid the hustle-bustle of Vancouver while staying close to Jameson’s family. Living on opposite sides of the country didn’t allow them to see each other much as much as they liked, but Catalina and Jameson made an effort to go visit at least once a year. Unfortunately, it had been two years since the last visit. Conflicting schedules just hadn’t allowed them to make the trip.

Catalina stretched up her neck and kissed her husband.

“You’re a genius.” She declared as she broke their embrace. She glanced at the clock. 7:13 on a Saturday night. That meant it would be 11:13 in Nova Scotia. She walked over to the counter and grabbed the phone. Taking it with her, she retreated to the armchair in the living room.

“Wait you’re calling NOW?” Jameson asked sceptically. “It must be pretty late there.”

Catalina shrugged as she dialed her brother’s number. “It’s quarter after 11 out there. They’ll still be up, and even if they’re not, for something like this, they’ll understand.”

Jameson shrugged and shook his head. Clearly, he wouldn’t be changing her mind.
 

~o~O~o~
 
In a dark room on the other side of the country two men were cuddled up in bed watching a movie. They were just getting to the climax. It was one of the most well-known scenes in movie history. Even many people who weren’t Star Wars fans – or even sci-fi fans in general – knew the scene.

“He told me enough!” Luke called out, “He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader stared down at him.

“No. I am your fa-

The phone rang. Noah cursed as he paused the movie. Morgan chuckled at his partner’s frustration.

They met each other’s gaze.

“Ignore it?” Noah suggested.

Morgan laughed freely and reached over to where the phone sat on the bedside table. He glanced at the call display.

“It’s your sister.” He said. “It’s your phone call. So, you make the call.”

The phone continued to ring.

Noah frowned. “Catalina never calls this late. Whatever it is I’m sure it can wait until morning.”

“Up to you babe.” Morgan replied, “But your right. She never calls this late. Maybe there’s a good reason for it.”

Noah sighed and turned back to the TV.

But he didn’t press play. The phone continued to ring.

He sighed heavily and took the phone from Morgan’s hand, much to his husband’s amusement.

Noah rolled his eyes and hit the answer button.

“Hello?”
 

~o~O~o~
 
Catalina sighed with relief. “Hey Noah. I’m so sorry to call you this late, I really hope I didn’t wake you or Morgan. I just couldn’t wait.”

“It’s fine Sis’.” Noah replied, “We were still up. What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“Y- yeah, nothings really…” She paused to look hesitantly at her husband, “Wrong. I, um, I need some advice.”

“You called me at 11:00 to ask for advice,” Noah deadpanned, “Yet you claim nothing’s wrong?”

Catalina grimaced, “It’s about Raymond.”

“What about him?” Asked Noah. “Is he gay or something?” He asked sarcastically, growing annoyed with all the beating around the bush.

A long silence stretched out across the line.

“Oh my gosh, Cat, did Raymond come out?” Noah gasped. He hasn’t been serious about his nephew being gay, it had just been snark brought on by annoyance. Noah and Morgan had always been very close with their niece and nephews. Raymond had always been quiet and a bit closed in, which made him harder to get close to than Sebastian or Evalyn, but it didn’t change the fact that the two men genuinely cared for him.

After another short silence, Catalina replied.

“No- well, yes. But not as gay. He- she- Ray said that he thinks he’s transgender.”

Now it was Noah’s turn to be speechless. After a moment, Catalina heard him whispering something. Presumably to Morgan.

“Noah?” She asked, probing for her brother’s presence.

“Yeah, I’m here Cat.” Her brother quickly replied. “Do you mind if I put you on speaker phone? Morgan is with me.”

“That’s a good idea.” Catalina replied, “Jameson is here so I’ll do the same.”

“Hey Catalina, Hey Jameson.” Morgan’s voice greeted them though the phone.

“Hello Morgan.” Catalina and Jameson replied together, Jameson adding a quick hello to Noah as well.

“So,” Morgan continued, “Can you give us more information? How did this come up?”

The story quickly came out. Catalina and Jameson each took turns sharing what they knew. Noah and Morgan listened in silence. As it was late in the evening for one of the two parties, only the relevant information was shared.

“So,” Noah began slowly, “You said you wanted advice? What can we do? Ask away.”

“Absolutely.” Morgan agreed immediately.

“Well, first,” Catalina began hesitantly, “Do you think it’s possible… Do you think it’s possible that this is just a phase?”

There was another long silence.

Finally, Morgan answered, “Neither of us are professionals, so you should really talk to a psychologist. But I won’t lie to you, that IS a possibility. Some people do go through phases like that. From what you’ve said however, I don’t think that’s the case. The way- what name does she prefer?”

“R- Rayne.” Jameson replied after a moments hesitation.

“Okay.” Morgan continued, “The way Rayne described how she feels to you. A lot of our transgender friends and acquaintances in the LGBTQ community have described how they felt before transitioning in a similar manner.”

“But she said she THINKS she’s transgender, not that she is.” Catalina argued weakly.

“Cat, Rayne is probably really confused right now.” Noah explained, “I know I was when I first realized I was more attracted to men than women, and that was just my sexual preference. Rayne is rethinking her whole life. Her whole EXISTENCE. It’s confusing, and it’s scary as hell.”

There was another long silence as Catalina and Jameson digested Noah’s words.

“What should we do?” Catalina finally asked.

“Be there for her.” Noah answered without a moment of hesitation. “Whether it’s a phase, or who she really is, Rayne is still your child. More than anything else it’s important that you be there for her. Bring her to a psychologist. One who has experience with transgendered people, preferably with transgender youth.”

“Rayne’s been talking to the student counselor at school.” Jameson said, “We’re going to see her on Monday, and potentially a specialist in the near future.”

“Good.” Morgan chipped in, “That’s a good start. But we cannot stress this enough. You need to be supportive of her no matter what. There’s some truly terrifying statistics on transgender youth – and people in general – that you should look up. None of us want Rayne to go through anything like that.”

Catalina and Jameson looked at each other worriedly.

“We will as soon as we hang up.” Jameson assured them.

“Good.” Noah said firmly, “We’ll let you go now, but if either of you ever need to talk – or have any questions – our line is always open.” Morgan voiced his agreement a moment later.

“Thank you so much guys,” Jameson began, “Sorry again for bothering you so late, but I’m sure you know how Catalina gets, eh Noah?”

“Hey!” Catalina objected.

Laughter could be heard from the other end of the line.

“Oh, I know all to well.”

After a few more words of goodbye, both parties hung up. Noah and Morgan to finish their movie, Jameson and Catalina to do some research on the newest development in their life.
 

~o~O~o~
 
A knock came on the door.

“Wake up sleepy head.” A voice called out, “Mom wants to leave in an hour.”

Rayne opened her eyes, memories of the previous day rushing back to her. She wondered briefly if it had all been a dream, a wonderful perfect dream.

“Didja hear me Rayne?” Evalyn’s voice called out again.

Definitely not a dream. Rayne’s lip quivered and her heart soared once again.

“Yeahp!” She called back happily, “I’m up!”

She crawled out of bed, glancing at her alarm clock for the time. 11:00. Wow. She must have been really tired last night. She stood up and walked to the door, pausing to listen for footsteps. Hearing none, she peeked into the hall. Seeing no one, she slipped into the hall – still wearing just her nightie – and quickly but quietly walked to the bathroom.

She was reaching for the doorknob when the door opened. She froze.

Sebastian stepped out, ruffling a towel through his short hair. He froze.

They both stared at each other for a long moment. Rayne’s face slowly changing shade to a bright red.

Sebastian coughed and pointedly looked away. Slipping past his new sister, who still stood frozen in the hall, to step into his own room.

“Morning Rayne.” He called back nonchalantly, pretending he hadn’t just seen the person he had regarded as his brother for 14 years in very feminine pajamas.

“Morning.” Rayne managed to squeak before quickly slipping into the washroom.

After closing and locking the door behind her, she leaned back against the door and took a deep breath. She didn’t know why she been so embarrassed in the first place. Sebastian had seen her in girl’s clothes for most of the day yesterday and it didn’t bother her, and it wasn’t like her night gown was skimpy and revealing, on the contrary it was the exact opposite. It started just below her neckline, and ended at her knees. Hell, she could probably get away with wearing it as a dress.

Much calmer, she got in the shower and went about her usual morning routine. Once satisfied that she was clean, she picked up her towel to return to her room to get dressed. Initially, she wrapped it around her waist, like she always had before. Then a thought struck her. Whenever she had seen Evalyn or their mother step out of the washroom in just a towel, they had worn it around their chest, with a second towel around their waist if necessary. If she was going to be presenting as a girl around the family, she might as well do it right. She raised the towel to her armpits and wrapped it as best she could. Scooping up her night gown from where she had discarded it on the floor, Rayne exited the washroom.

And ran right into Evalyn.

“Morning Eva.” She greeted, determined not to freeze like she had with Sebastian.

“Good morning Rayne.” Her sister returned, taking a long look at the toweled form of her sister. She couldn’t help but be amused at her sister’s modesty. Rayne had always been self conscious of her body, but the whole family had seen Rayne’s chest fairly regularly throughout her life. Nothing had changed about it – at least not yet – and yet she was covering up like any teenage girl would.

Rayne noticed the small smirk on her sister’s face and reddened again, deducing the reason behind it.

“Shut up.” She said light heartedly, stepping into her room.

“All I said was good morning my dear little sister.” Evalyn replied, emphasizing the word little to Rayne’s embarrassment.

Rayne just giggled and shook her head, taking the subtle reference to her flat chest as the good-natured teasing it was.

Back in her room, Rayne finished rubbing herself dry. Discarding the towel and donning her lingerie, she went to inspect her small wardrobe. Her options were very limited. Rayne really only owned three outfits, and she had worn two of them in the last two days. The only item remaining was the blue dress she had worn to the very first showing. Rayne shrugged and slipped it on. She slowly regarded herself in the mirror on her dresser.

Hmm. She really needed to learn makeup. Can’t always go crying to Evalyn for help, right? She made a mental note to look up some tutorials when they got home. Wait, no. Scratch that. She had no internet access for a month except for school work. Eh, not a big deal. She had no doubt that Evalyn would be willing to give her a tutorial.

Returning to the task at hand, Rayne ran a brush through her hair again, ensuring it was free of tangles. She frowned. Styling her hair was something else she would need to learn. Raymond had always just brushed it and left it at that. After losing weight he’d occasionally wear it in a ponytail or a braid when Evalyn encourage (forced) him too. Rayne had grown to love braids, but she had no clue how Evalyn did it. Yet another thing to learn.

Then there were her mannerisms and body language. Raymond had never been the most masculine guy, but surely – after 14 years as a guy – the way he held himself would be more masculine than feminine. Something Rayne would have to fix.

Rayne groaned.

There was just so much to learn.

Rayne shook her head. Now wasn’t the time. She still had to have breakfast – probably lunch at this point – and finish getting ready. She left her room and descended down to the kitchen. The whole family was there, each doing their own thing. Her father sat at the table with his laptop, but he looked up when she walked in. He regarded her for a long moment before turning back to his computer. Evalyn and their mother with standing at the counter, engaged in an intense conversation. It sounded like it was about shopping. Plans for the day maybe? Catalina, like her husband, stopped what she was doing to take in the sight that was Rayne. She blinked twice, then turned back to Evalyn.

Suddenly Rayne was anxious. Had they looked at her funny? They totally looked at her funny. Oh God, why did they look at her funny?

“Hey squirt.” Sebastian greeted her from where he stood at the stove, frying some eggs and bacon. Sebastian, like their parents, seemed to stare a moment longer than he usually would.

She stepped back out of the kitchen and turned for the stairs. She had to change. If her family was looking at her like that, they people at the mall would surely laugh.

“I made you breakf- hey!” Her brother called out, “Where ya going?!”

He quickly caught up to her and grabbed her hand.

Rayne bit her lip and looked at the floor.

“C’mon, what’s wrong?” he asked, “You need to get going don’t ya? So, lets figure this out.”

At this point the rest of the family had come out into the hall and were standing around looking concerned.

Rayne gave a heavy sigh before replying.

“I look ridiculous.”

Sebastian pressed his lips together and squinted his eyes.

“Whaaaaaat? Not at all. What would make you think that?”

Rayne giggled at the face he made, but quickly looked down at her feet.

“Wh- when I walked into the kitchen you, Mom, and Dad all gave me weird looks.”

“Ahhh, I see.” Sebastian mused.

“Oh sweetie, that’s not why we looked at you that way.” His mother said gently, “You look very pretty.”

“Then why?” Rayne asked, still not quite believing them.

They all looked at each other.

Jameson cleared his throat, “Well, I was just thinking about how pretty you are, and wondering how we had never noticed before.”

Catalina nodded, “I was thinking along the same lines.”

Sebastian chuckled, “For me, it was just the first time I ever saw you wearing a dress. You’ve always been a bit of a tomboy.” He winked at her, causing her to giggle.

“So, I really look okay?” Rayne asked, feeling better.

“More than okay.” Catalina confirmed, “You just need to understand Rayne, that it might take us a little bit to get used to this. It’s a big change for us too, and while we will always be there for you, it will take some getting used to for all of us.”

Rayne nodded. It was fair. More than fair actually. She had heard horror stories of families nowhere near as accepting as hers.

“Now.” Sebastian said, clapping his hands together, “Come and eat. Before it get’s cold, and before Mom leaves without you.”

Rayne giggled, “How can she leave without me when we’re shopping for me?”

Catalina raised an eyebrow, “Oh, I can and I will, young lady. I’ll just have to pick out what you’re wearing myself. And I’ll make sure to pick out the frilliest, pinkest, most over-the-top embarrassing outfit I can find.”

Rayne’s jaw dropped.

“You wouldn’t!” She gasped, “Evalyn wouldn’t let you!”

Evalyn nodded and joined the conversation for the first time, “You’re right li’l sis’. I wouldn’t let her. Instead we’d pick out the skimpiest, most revealing outfit we could find.”

“That’s even worse.” Rayne groaned and rushed into the kitchen to eat.

The whole family laughed, and soon resumed their respective activities. The girls getting ready for their day shopping, the guys doing whatever guys tend to do on a Sunday morning.
 

~o~O~o~
 
The van pulled into the mall parking lot. They had made the hour drive to Mountsview. Not to avoid familiar faces this time, but because Mountsview simply had more variety.

“Lakewood’s pathetic mall will never do.” Evalyn had adamantly declared as they left. Catalina had chuckled, but didn’t dispute the fact. She had already been driving out of town when Evalyn made the declaration.

Together, the three of them exited the van and headed into the mall.

“It just seems odd to me that we’d drive all this way for just one outfit.” Rayne said, returning to the earlier conversation.

“Who said anything about just one outfit?” Evalyn protested, “I mean, we came because you needed a new one, but do you really think after coming all this way we’ll just get one?”

Rayne looked at their mother. “Really Mom?”

Catalina just smirked and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t going to say anything. You’re supposed to be grounded after all, but I suppose Evalyn has a point.”

Rayne didn’t know what to say. She could tell her Mom wasn’t telling the full truth. She had planned this all along.

Her heart soared as they walked though the doors.

“So, what kind of outfit is suitable for this event?” Their mother asked as they took up a leisurely stroll past the various stores. She looked at Rayne expectantly.

Rayne just shrugged, wide-eyed.

“I thought you two would know. You’re a bit more, ah, experienced with… all of this than I am.”

Evalyn giggled and their mother smirked.

“So, you’re saying that the two of us DO get to pick out what you wear.” Catalina said slyly.

“W- well, when you put it that way, uh, I guess so.” Rayne stammered, suddenly anxious. “But I get the final say!”

Evalyn laughed.

“C’mon now Sis’. Really?” She asked with raised eyebrows, “We BOTH know you’ll bow to MY whims. I’LL have the REAL final say.” Evalyn threw her hair back sassily and briskly walked ahead.

“N- no you won’t!” Rayne called after her, quickly jogging to catch up.

Catalina laughed. As much as Rayne might object, Evalyn had always been able to talk her into a corner. Or at least she always could to Raymond. Somehow, Catalina doubted Rayne would be anymore resilient to Evalyn’s verbal maneuvering than Raymond was.

She hurried to catch up to her children… Her daughters. They were standing by one of the mall fountains waiting for her.

“Seriously, though.” Rayne began once they were reunited, “Where should we go? What’s the plan?”

Catalina smiled, “Relax sweetie. We have all day. So, tell us, what do YOU want to wear?”

Rayne shrugged shyly. “I dunno.”

Evalyn wasn’t having it. “Oh yes you do. Now spill.”

Rayne blushed, eliciting a giggle from their mother.

“Be gentle Eva.” Catalina admonished her daughter. Evalyn just rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. “Now Rayne,” Catalina continued softly, “Do you have something in mind?”

Rayne shrugged again, “Not really, well, I mean kinda, but it’s just, like, I dunno, a guideline I guess?” She met her mother’s eyes for a moment, blushing at her rambling, before looking at her feet.

“Guidelines are good.” Catalina encouraged, “They’ll help me and your sister to pick something out-

“Your sister and I.” Rayne corrected, trying – and failing – to supress a grin.

Catalina playfully swatted Rayne’s arm.

“Fine. They’ll help your sister and I to pick something out for you. So, what were you thinking?”

Rayne nodded, finding her courage with her mother’s encouragement.

“Well, whatever I wear, it’s really important to me that it’s...” She paused, looking for the right words, “modest. I wouldn’t be comfortable wearing anything that showed to much skin.”

As if on cue, a pair of teenage girls walked past. They were wearing micro-miniskirts and tops with rather low necklines.

Catalina nodded understandingly. “Nothing too revealing. Okay. But do you really think your mother would pick anything revealing for her little girl in the first place?”

Rayne blushed, but her heart felt warm and gooey at the comment. Her mother had just called Rayne her little girl.

“I suppose that’s true.” Rayne agreed.

Catalina nodded. “So, anything else? Is there a dress code?”

Rayne thought for a moment.

“Well, Berny said that the showings were business casual. But he also said that as artists, we have some leeway, and are free to be creative. Business Casual was just meant to be a guideline too I guess. There’s also going to be a dinner though, he said that that would be a bit fancier.”

Catalina nodded thoughtfully, “Business casual, nothing too revealing. Very doable. Maybe a nice dress for the dinner. Do you have any other thoughts? Or should we get going?”

Rayne nodded. “We can get going. I suppose the only other thing is that whatever we get, I want it to be me. I don’t want to wear something just for the sake of looking good, or proper. I’ve spent far too long trying to do that.”

“Something that’s ‘you’, huh?” Catalina said, “That might be more challenging.”

Rayne looked up at her mother worriedly.

“I don’t know much about what’s ‘you’, Rayne.” Her mother explained, “So I suppose we’ll just have to try on everything in the mall until we figure out what’s ‘you’.”

Rayne giggled.

“That sounds like fun!” Evalyn piped up as they began to walk.

“So, what kind of clothes do you like to wear so far Rayne?” Catalina asked.

Rayne rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Well, I haven’t experimented much, but the outfit I wore yesterday is probably my favorite so far. I also really like dresses and skirts, but short skirts make me uncomfortable. I’d also like to try more colorful stuff.”

Evalyn nodded, “Yeah, shorter skirts might take some getting used to, but they can be really freeing.”

Rayne shrugged. Maybe she would give them a try when she was more confident.

Catalina stopped.

“How about we take a look in here?” She suggested, gesturing to the store they were about to pass.

“Oh, good idea Mom.” Evalyn agreed, “I know I always find nice things in Aritzia. Maybe Rayne will have some luck there too!”

“Sure.” Rayne agreed with a shrug. She had never been in Aritzia before, but she knew Evalyn shopped there often.

“Okay, just remember Evalyn, we’re shopping for Rayne. Not you.” Catalina reminded her eldest daughter.

Evalyn rolled her eyes, Rayne giggled.

Into the store they went, Evalyn taking off immediately to run her practiced eye through the various shelves and hangers. Rayne stuck close to their mother, looking at whatever caught her eye.

“Oh, how about this Rayne?” Her mother asked, turning to her to hold up a skirt.

It was a longer, bright red, pleated skirt with faint floral prints done in various shades of reds and pinks. By the looks of it, it would likely come down to just above Rayne’s ankles. She reached out to feel it. It was soft. Softer than she was expecting. She had thought that the pleats would cause it to feel stiff, or rough, but she was pleasantly surprised. Raymond had always favored cold colors over warm colors – and so far, Rayne had felt much the same – but she couldn’t deny how much she loved the colors used here, and she had just said she wanted to try more colors.”

“I- I really like it.” She said taking it from her mom to hold it to her waist.

“So do I.” Catalina agreed. “Why don’t we set it in the maybe pile for now, and when we have more you can go try them all on. Does that sound good?”

Rayne smiled and nodded.

“What’d ya find?” Evalyn asked as she rejoined them, arms filled with various articles of clothing.

Catalina raised an eyebrow. Rayne’s eyes went wide and she held a hand to her mouth.

“A nice skirt.” Rayne answered, “But what I want to know is how, in the time it took us to find a skirt, you seem to have picked through the whole store?”

Evalyn winked at her before replying in her best wise old man voice, “You have much to learn in the ways of the mall crawler, young grasshopper.”

Catalina shook her head at Evalyn’s antics, but couldn’t hide her amusement.

“Well, let’s take a look then, shall we?” Catalina suggested, “How much of this is for you, and how much is for your sister?”

“Oh, come now Mother.” Evalyn said indignantly, “I know we’re shopping for Rayne. All of it’s for her.”

“All of it?” Catalina asked sceptically.

“All of it.” Evalyn declared, then paused for a moment before continuing, “Except for maybe one or two things.”

Catalina just stared at her.

“Okay, fine, three things.” Evalyn said, exasperated. “What do you expect though? You suggested, like, my favorite store.”

Rayne giggled.

“I expected,” Catalina began sternly, “For you to have grabbed at least four things for yourself. I’m impressed.”

Evalyn opened her mouth and held up a finger to make her retort, then her mouth slowly closed, and her finger curled back down into balled fist. She pursed her lips. Few people could verbally out maneuver Evalyn, but Catalina was a lawyer. Catalina was where Evalyn got her quick wit, and she had several years of experience on her daughter as well.

Rayne burst into laughter. She would be hard pressed to find anyone else who could get that kind of reaction from Evalyn.

Catalina’s laughter joined Rayne’s. Evalyn just smiled and rolled her eyes.

Finally, once they had regained their composure, they began to look through Evalyn’s finds. Evalyn started by pulling out the few articles she had found for herself, pausing only to mumble, “I was lying. There were four things for me.” To which Catalina just snorted. After that the three of them went through the pile of things for Rayne, one by one. For each article of clothing, Catalina and Evalyn would give their thoughts and opinions, Rayne would tell them what she thought, and then it would either go into the maybe pile with the red skirt, or into the reject pile.

Soon, Catalina and Evalyn were ushering Rayne into the changing rooms. She started with the red skirt and a top Evalyn had chosen. She went out to show her family. She was sent back in with a different top. That top was then matched with some jeans, which were in turn matched with another top. And so she went, in and out, in and out, trying on various combinations to see what worked and what did not. Who knew clothes shopping could be so exhausting? Finally, all three of them were satisfied. A few more articles had been added to the reject pile, but they were happy with how everything else fitted and looked.

They headed to the checkout with three skirts – Her mother and sister even convinced her to get a shorter one – a pair of jeans, two pairs of pants, a very nice dress for the dinner, two more casual dresses, two blouses, two t-shirts, several pairs of socks, a few pairs of tights, another pair of leggings, and finally a few more lingerie sets. Evalyn went first, having decided to purchase three of the four items she had found. Evalyn frowned briefly at the amount due, but pulled out her debit card and quickly paid.

Rayne was up next. She loaded all of her purchases on the counter, and watched as the teller rang them up one by one. As each item flashed across the total display, her heart sunk lower and lower. There was no way she could afford this! It was more than she had in all of her meager savings. Much more. Rayne bit her lip, desperately trying to figure out how she could tell the lady she couldn’t afford it without embarrassing herself.

Rayne was still panicking when her mother stepped in front of her and pulled out her credit card, pausing only to glance at Rayne with a bemused smile on her face. She paid for the entire purchase before Rayne could say a word. Catalina asked for a receipt, and swept up the bags.

Evalyn rolled her eyes and looked at Rayne. “Lucky brat.” She teased, sticking out her tongue.

Catalina just smiled as they walked out of the store. Rayne didn’t know what to say. She was just confused. Her parents had always been adamant that the kids bought their own things. The moment they were old enough to take an interest in making their own clothing choices, their parents said they were old enough to pay for them themselves too. Rayne had always just assumed that meeting all of the wants for three teenagers was too expensive. There were a few exceptions of course, such as birthdays, or holidays like Christmas, but today was neither of those.

“Where to next?” Catalina asked, drawing Rayne from her inner thoughts. “I know we were planning to hit a few places, but I think that’s enough clothes for now.”

“In that case,” Evalyn began, “The next thing is obviously SHOES.”

Catalina rolled her eyes.

“How did I know you were going to say that?” she asked, to which Evalyn just chortled.

It didn’t take long for Rayne to get back in the swing of things, browsing the huge selection of shoes with her mother and sister. Just as she did the last time she went shopping with Evalyn, Rayne tried to refuse heels. Unfortunately, she could not stand up to the combined – for once – might of her mother and sister. They insisted that not only was it something she would need to learn eventually, but they she would love them once she was comfortable walking in them. “You’ll thank us for this eventually!” They had said.

Soon they had her trying on numerous heels of varying heights and styles. For the most part, Rayne had the final say, as long as that say was not exclusively made up of ‘no’s. After selecting a few pairs of heels, they moved onto running shoes and sandals, followed by boots and flats. When all was said and done, Rayne’s mind was whirling. She had probably spent more time shopping for shoes in the last hour than Raymond had in his entire life. And yet they only had a few pairs. There was so much to consider with woman’s shoes. When Raymond had gone shoe shopping all that had matter was if they fit, and if they were comfortable. In and out. Five minutes flat. Shopping with Evalyn and their mother on the other hand, there was a lot more to it. Do they fit? Do they look good? Which outfits will they go well with? Which won’t they? Did Rayne like them? And a whole host of other questions, before even considering if they were comfortable! That was all before she even glanced at the price tag – something she was too afraid to do after the first pair.

They finally headed to the checkout with five shoe boxes for Rayne. Evalyn had several of her own too. Rayne had selected a pair each of runners, sandals, and flats, and two pairs of heels. Catalina insisted that this should give her suitable footwear for a wide variety of events, but Evalyn thought more was needed. Much more. Finally, they had come to a compromise. For each pair of shoes Evalyn put back on the shelf from her own purchases, Rayne could add another. Evalyn’s opinions on an acceptable number of shoes for her little sister quickly changed.

At this point it was getting late in the afternoon, and a unanimous decision was made to stop for a late lunch before doing a bit more shopping and heading home. At the food court, they briefly split up so each of them could get what they wanted before meeting up at an agreed upon area. When they sat back down, Evalyn and Catalina began chattering away, discussing where they should go next. Rayne’s mind, on the other hand, slowly drifted off into her own thoughts. Contemplating the amount her mother had spent on her that day, and for what possible reason. Could they even afford all of that? Was she going to have to figure out some way to pay her mother back? What would her father say?

*snap* *snap*

Rayne popped out of her contemplations to her mother snapping her fingers in front of her face.

“Earth to Rayne.” Her mother called out dramatically, “Earth to Rayne. Can you read us?”

“Huh?” Rayne asked, suddenly aware that they had asked her a question.

Catalina and Evalyn chuckled as Rayne blushed.

“Now that I have your attention,” Catalina asked, “Tell me what has you so lost in thought.”

“Oh! Um, n- nothing really.” Rayne stammered, unsure how to ask say what had really been on her mind.

Catalina raised her eyes sceptically.

“Mmmmhmmmm.” she hummed, not breaking eye contact.

“O- okay fine.” Rayne mumbled, looking down at her food, “Y- you’ve always insisted th- that if one of us want’s something we b- buy it ourselves. S- so I was wondering if you can afford to be spending so much money on me?”

A long silence spread out between them. Rayne kept staring at her food.

“You’re so right.” Catalina said, finally breaking the silence.

Rayne looked up to see her mother leaning over to talk to Evalyn.

“That nervous stutter really is adorable.” She finished.

Evalyn and Catalina fell into a fit of giggles as Rayne’s face turned red and her jaw dropped.

“H- heeeey,” she whined, “I’m serious!”

“Oh sweetie.” Catalina began, smiling at her daughters pouting face, “You have nothing to be worried about.”

“R- really?” Rayne asked, still unsure.

“Rayne, you silly girl.” Her mother said light-heartedly, “I’m a successful, practicing lawyer. Your father is an architect for a major firm. Money hasn’t been an issue for us since before Seb was born. We’re lucky enough to be upper-middle class sweetie.”

Rayne’s brow scrunched up in confusion.

“Th- then why…” She trailed off, leaving her question unspoken.

“Why have we always made you pay for your own things?” Her mother finished for her. At Rayne’s befuddled nod, she continued, “To teach you responsibility, independence, and the value of hard work. If there was ever something you wanted, we always made sure there was an opportunity available for you to earn some money.”

Rayne thought back and realized it was true. Whenever Raymond had wanted a new game or book, his parents had always been happy to give him odd jobs around the house to earn a couple bucks. When Evalyn and Sebastian became old enough, they had gotten summer jobs to finance their expenses. Rayne likely would next summer too.

That brought Rayne to her next question.

“Then what was different about today?” She asked, “That was an awful lot of money for you to just spend on something I wanted. And why did you make Evalyn pay for her own stuff?”

Catalina nodded understandingly.

“The difference,” she began, “Was that today they weren’t just wants. They were also needs. You wanted new clothes, right? But beyond that, you, Rayne, NEEDED new clothes. A whole new wardrobe really. A new wardrobe goes far beyond what we – me and your father – would make you pay for by yourself. For Evalyn, she didn’t need what she wanted at all, she just wanted it. Therefore, she pays herself.”

Rayne slowly nodded in understanding. Then she stopped. She didn’t understand.

“B- but why?” She asked, lip trembling.

Catalina looked at her, uncomprehending.

“I just explained why.” She said, tilting her head.

“B- but,” Rayne began, voice barely above a whisper, “But I j- just came out to you y- yesterd- day. A week ago, I was- I was your son. And n- now your sp- spending over a- a- over a th- thousand dollars on clothes and shoes f- for me. Just like that? Why? How? How is it so easy for you to- to- to accept this?”

Tears were welling in Rayne’s eyes now, threatening to overflow.

Catalina was at her side in an instant.

“Oh my baby.” She said, drawing her daughter into her embrace, “I would be lying if I said it was easy to accept. Just last night I was praying this was just a phase. Some part of me still is.”

Rayne looked at her mother with confusion.

“What ch- changed?” She asked, still holding back the flood gates. She suddenly realized that her mother’s eyes were filling with tears as well.

“I talked with your Uncle Noah, and Uncle Morgan.” She began, “They opened my eyes. They told me and your father that whether this was a phase or not, all we could do was support you and be there for you. They told us we should look up some information and statistics on transgender youth.”

Tears were running down both mother and daughters face.

“What we read… it broke my heart.”

“The thought-

Catalina had to stop and take a deep breath before continuing.

“The thought of you going thought that. Through ANY of that. I couldn’t bear it. Son or daughter. Boy or girl. Raymond or Rayne. It doesn’t matter. I will be there for you. I will love you. I will support you. No matter-

Rayne threw her arms around her mother’s shoulders and sobbed. The two of them sat there for a long minute. Oblivious to the stares of the other shoppers. Evalyn just watched, trying to hold back tears of her own.

Someone tapped her on the shoulder. Evalyn turned around to see a middle-aged woman with two small children of her own standing behind her. The woman wore an expression of concern, and the children were wide-eyed.

“Are they okay?” The woman asked, having gotten Evalyn’s attention. “Is there anything I can do? Or someone I can call maybe?”

Evalyn wiped away her own tears.

“No. No, thank you.” She quickly replied, “Everything’s just fine. Everything is going to be okay.”

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Hiya!

Flummox here.

Don't really have a lot to say this week, and surprisingly, there's nothing I feel the need to apologize for for once. :P

I've decided to stop getting so stressed out about typos. I'm still gonna do my best to catch them all, but I know I have some great readers out there who'll gently point out the ones I'll inevitably miss. ;D

If you feel like it, I would love to hear from you, whether that's in a comment or message form. I do try to reply to everything, although sometimes there's a bit of a delay. I'm not very diligent. :P

Thanks for taking the time to read.

Sincerely,

Flummy