Andi and Allie Chapter 8
Sweet Twenty and never been…?
“Andi…? Are you transitioning?”
Peter always seemed to get right to the point. He was leaning forward with his hands clasped on his glass desktop and his lovely blue eyes gazing intently at me. I of course blushed magenta.
“Ummm…” I rolled my eyes upward. “Why do you ask Peter?”
I sat quite demurely with my legs crossed at the ankle and my hands folded neatly upon my lap.
He chuckled. A good sign... Peter does have one of those very rare million dollar siles that seem to come at birth for a blessed few.
“You seem to be…dressing more femme lately. And today…” He suddenly sat back in his oversized leather swivel armchair. “Well…? You look absolutely radiant. If I didn’t know any better…” His voice trailed off.
“Why thank you Peter.” I smiled and giggled at his compliment.
“The issue is this.”
Peter sat forward once again and assumed his ‘I’m very serious’ pose complete with interlaced fingers. His gaze was as intense as I’d ever seen it yet his smile was as intensely genuine and unwavering.
“You seem to have become very important to the people up on Fifty-Seventh Street. They’re thrilled with the work you’re producing for our new client.” The translation is the client is totally thrilled…of course. “So naturally if you’re undergoing a situation or if you should need anything, we simply want you to know that we’re all here to help.” His smile grew even larger.
“Well…? Actually…? I’m not transitioning?” Thank you Jill. “This is simply the way I see myself. It’s kind of my inner image?”
I could swear Peter’s smile grew even larger, if that was possible, with this bit of news. I suddenly leaned forward anxiously with my shoulders slightly hunched.
“It’s not creating a problem for you or anything? Is it?” That was the last thing I wanted.
“No… Oh no… Not at all…!” Peter was very insistent. “As I said, you look wonderful. And certainly around here…well…nobody seems to mind at all. Oh… Yes… You really have to spend less time with Rhona in the mornings comparing notes. She can easily distract anybody. And… I must say… She will certainly try her best.”
Peter laughed heartily and then sat forward putting on his ‘all business’ expression.
“Listen Andi, there are a few things we do need to speak about regarding the packaging project. I need to leave for a meeting uptown and tomorrow I go out of town for several days. But…perhaps…if you’re free…we could discuss things over, say dinner tonight?”
“Ummm… Sure... That would be nice.”
I smiled graciously. If the boss asks me to have dinner tonight, then I have dinner with him tonight. A no brainer… Right…? And who in their right mind could…or would resist an invite from a hottie like Peter anyway?
It wasn’t until I got back to my workstation that I suddenly realized…did I just get hit on? I mean he did hold my hand a little longer than necessary when we shook hands. I had to text Allie. I had no idea of what to do or how to handle this…this situation. So I whipped out my trusty iPhone and texted away.
‘OMG!!! Have date w/Petr!!!’
I waited but a few moments for a reply.
“Oh my God Andi…? How’d that happen? I mean… Did he just ask you?” Allie sounded…concerned?
“Its way more complicated than that I think. He said he wanted to discuss the new account with me? But he needed to go to suit city and then he would be away for a few days so… I didn’t think about it until it was too late.”
As if I would refuse.
“That is so very much the story of my life.” Allie laughed. “Well…? How’d he ask?”
“Well… The whole thing started out kind of weird? He asked if I was transitioning?”
“Oh my God…! No…!”
“What’s wrong with that? I mean he seemed so concerned.” I am…so…CLUELESS!!!
“He is like…so totally gay?”
I could hear the incredulous tone of Allie’s voice echoing my thoughts of cluelessness.
“Oh poopie...” The realization struck me like a lightning bolt! “So that’s why he seemed happier after I told him I wasn’t.”
“What else…? What else…? Come on sweet heart… The details…!”
“Well… He held my hand longer than maybe he should have?”
“He held your hand?”
“Well… Yeah… We did shake hands you know.” I giggled.
“This could be serious.” Allie naturally produced her ‘serious voice’.
“How do I handle this? I mean it’s not like we’re meeting for the first time at a school thingy or something.”
“Is he cute? I met him some time ago but I can’t remember what he looks like.”
“Oh…my…God…! He’s so terminally cute. He’s a little old for me though…” I said as I mused over his image in my mind. “Anyway… I don’t think I’m interested? I mean it could be very messy if something happened. You know…?”
“That is the truth. Never fool around with someone from work. Do you have your makeup with you? There’s nothing wrong with looking good anyway you know.”
“Yeah. I have to tell you how much I love having yet another bag in my bag.” I giggled.
I began to putting together an ‘emergency kit’ for just such an occasion. You know… A small eye shadow palette, mascara, a glossy brick red lipstick…just enough to evoke a ‘night out’ look…
“Do you have an extra panty as well…? Or maybe a panty liner…?”
“No… Why…?” I am so…CLUELESS!!!
“Oh my God Andi…! You are so clueless. Think about it for a minute.” Allie giggled.
I did and suddenly I knew why she asked.
“Oh my God no…! It’s def not going to be THAT kind of evening.”
“Are you sure?” Allie snickered.
“Yeah... For sure… That’s totally not what I want to do.”
“Okay… Here’s the plan. If you’re feeling crowded or nervous…you know…like he’s really putting the moves on you? Eat lightly. That way you’ll finish quickly. No dessert... Then just excuse yourself. Go to the powder room and give me a call.”
Allie stopped for the longest moment. Somehow I knew she would have some sort of solution to abate my fears. I mean I wasn’t afraid of Peter. But the entire intimacy thing was kind of frightening. And the sexual intimacy thingy… Forget about it!
“In fact…” Allie finally continued. “Call me either way. Let me know how it’s going. You have my number on speed dial. If anything changes after that, just speed dial me and hang up. I’ll call you back at the table with some sort of excuse to leave. Okay…?”
Allie rattled this all off as if it was a protocol for getting out of ‘sticky situations’ before they become really sticky situations. I guessed that she had enough, or maybe more than enough, experience at such things. I was so nervous that I found it hard to concentrate on my work.
Finally, at about four-thirty, I had to get out and just enjoy some air. The thought of Allie being on the other end of an emergency phone call was very reassuring. I don’t know where I would be without her…her wisdom.
I got home about ten. I heard Allie call out my name as I closed and locked the door. I walked into the kitchen, dropped my bag and keys and headed to the cave where I knew she would be. Allie was curled up in her corner of the couch.
Her hair hung in ringlets about her head giving me every indication that she had just showered and hadn’t done anything to her hair. She wore her old comfortable terry cloth robe. Allie was definitely naked underneath its warm soft protection. She was munching on a piece of chocolate cake. Her face lit up as her brows arched and her smile dazzled.
“So…? How was it?” Allie could barely contain her excitement as she sat up clutching the lapels of her robe.
I smiled with a kind of stupid dreamy look on my face? I took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I crossed my arms and hugged myself.
“What…! Only nice…?” Allie stared at me in surprise.
“Okay…so it was better than nice. It was totally amazing.” I giggled as I hugged myself and spun around in place. “Let me go get comfortable and I’ll tell you everything.”
I smiled as I drifted slowly toward my bedroom. When I returned I could see that Allie was bursting with excitement.
“Details…! I want details! Oh…and by the way…your lipstick is smeared.”
I could hear Allie laughing as I walked back into my bedroom to wash…again. I took a very quick shower this time to wash the long day off of myself as well. After I towel dried, I used my overnight skin lotion on my face and combed out my hair, which had gotten somewhat flattened after using the shower cap. A quick slipped into my panty, a sleeping tee, my robe and I was ready to face Allie’s inquisition.
“So…? Sit and talk sweetie.” Allie patted the cushion next to her.
“It was really nice.” I repeated with the same dreamy smile on my face. “Peter arrived back at the office at about six and he asked me if I had any preference for what we ate. I let him decide. We went to this Italian restaurant. Oh my God…! When we walked out to take a cab…he took my arm and he opened the door for me. He was opening the door and he pulled out my chair in the restaurant. He was such the perfect gentleman.”
Allie listened to me go on and on and on. She was wide-eyed and grinning whilst she munched on her second piece of cake the entire time. I told her that we did in fact discuss some important business issues. Peter told me that I was getting a merit raise for my work thus far and there had even been some talk of perhaps me taking over the graphic arts department and him moving up to run the media area.
“The entire time he made me feel like it was all about me. And maybe it was.” I giggled.
“What do you mean maybe? Of course it was.” Allie laughed as she handed me a fork full of the cake.
“I mean he poured my wine and he made sure everything was the way I wanted it. I really felt…special. You know…? He made me feel really special.”
I could feel myself becoming emotional. Nobody except Allie ever had ever made me feel special. And not even Allie made me feel special in the manner Peter did. He made me feel as though we were the only two people in the world. He made me feel important, treasured, even desired.
Allie’s smile faded just a bit and she suddenly had this far away look for a moment.
“Yeah…I know what you mean.” There was just a touch of sadness in her voice.
“When I called you from the ladies room? Oh my God…! I was so…”
“Horny…?” Allie giggled.
“Maybe a little drunk?”
“No…! Well… Maybe a little buzzed?” I giggled.
I was having real trouble trying to find the proper words to describe exactly how I felt. I think that was because I’d never felt like that before. The tears came to my eyes and I couldn’t control them and I didn’t know why except I had all of these feelings inside of me that needed to come out…that needed to be expressed. And my tears were the only ‘words’ I had.
Allie reached over and handed me several tissues. Allie looked as though she was about to cry as well.
“You should have been born a girl. You were simply romanced by a really good-looking, well versed, and very refined, man. It’s that simple.”
“Well versed and refined…?” I blew my nose and blotted a few more tears.
“He knew exactly how to act; what to say and how to treat you.” Allie blotted her tears. “And it truly is a beautiful thing. I love that feeling when it happens, even though it’s so good that it hurts.” I nodded my head in agreement. It did hurt. “I bet you wanted to go down on him and you weren’t even all that excited?”
I nodded again. I couldn’t believe it myself. I would’ve done it right there in the restaurant…or anywhere else he might have wanted! Although maybe I was a little excited as well?
“He held my hand…at the table! And when I went to call you…he got up out of his chair and pulled my chair out. When I came back…he stood up and pulled my chair out again for me.”
Allie nodded and looked at me quite somberly.
“And when we finished eating, he held the door open for me as we left the restaurant.”
At this point we were both clutching our pillows to our breasts. Allie looked very solemn and wide-eyed.
“And we went for a walk.”
“Oh my God…! You did?”
Allie’s hand shot out and grasped my hand. I nodded and smiled.
“He held my hand for a short while and then he put his arm around my waist.”
I had that stupid dreamy look on my face again.
“Did you guys talk…at all?”
Allie buried her chin into the cushion. She looked so totally adorable and huggable but truly my mind, at the time, was elsewhere.
“Yeah… But I don’t remember what we talked about. Actually he did most of the talking and…well…my mind was way buzzed to remember what he said. I simply listened to the sound of his voice. He has such a deep and…well…commanding sort of voice? Oh my God…!” I leaned in toward Allie. “I was trembling the entire time. He thought I was cold. He wanted to give me his jacket.” I said in a whisper.
“Oh my God… That is so…so nice. Did he pull you into his side? Kind of…?” I nodded. “I love it when they do that.” Allie sighed.
“Yeah… It kind of feels very…sheltering? I felt so weak. I don’t know. I could feel his body’s heat and his aroma…it was…intoxicating?”
I gazed at Allie in a dream like state as she nodded her acknowledgement.
“And he’s so tall that we were a perfect fit.” We both seemed to sigh simultaneously. “And then he got me a cab. He opened the door for me. And then…”
I had to take a deep and shuddering breath.
“He turned me around and held me in his arms.”
I held out my arms and encircled an imaginary waist as I unconsciously mimicked his action.
“And he kissed me.”
Allie let out a little squeal of excitement. She actually shifted completely around only to return to nearly the same position.
“He caught you by surprise?”
Allie’s eyes and mouth opened wide with this new revelation.
“Well…? Yeah… The first time…”
I giggled and blushed an amazing shade of fuchsia.
“Oh my God…!” Allie squealed. “He kissed you twice? Oh my God…!”
I nodded and grinned. Allie’s face was alight with excitement. She would later say that listening to me was better than watching a Kevin Costner chick flick.
“Yeah… He pulled me even closer. And… Well… We kissed again. The second one was so much better. The first one was so… so creamy, and dreamy to begin with. You know…?”
Allie nodded her head rapidly.
“What did you do then?”
Allie sat spell bound clutching the cushion to her very ample breasts.
“Well…? What could I do? I put my arms around his neck and I kissed him back.” I giggled as another tear began to fall. “Tongue and all…!”
“No…!” Allie almost whispered. “Oh my God…!”
Allie handed me some more tissues.
“It was…wonderful! He held me so firmly…so closely.”
I looked at Allie as her chin sank back into the cushion again and I spoke so very softly with a grin.
“I could even feel his stiffy!”
“No…! You didn’t!” Allie looked amazed. “You could feel his stiffy?”
“And his lips were just so…amazing! I actually got kind of excited. Sort of… You know…?”
“Oh…! My…! God…!”
Allie sat upright. We had never spoken so openly and intimately before…not that there really was any reason before now.
“So then what did you do?”
“Definitely not what I wanted to do. I mean…thankfully the cab was there. The entire thing only took seconds but…” I sighed…again. “But it felt like forever and I truly didn’t want it to end. I wanted to undress him…slowly…and kiss my way down his body. I would have been on my knees in no time at all and I would have just sucked his brains out through his dick!”
“Andi…! No…!” Allie’s shocked expression quickly turned into a wicked grin.
I smiled, nodded, and cried. Allie was def into total shocked at this point. She had never heard me speak so bluntly or…so crudely…about anything sexual…or sensual?
“You know, I learned everything I know about sex and men from my mother.” My smile suddenly faded and I felt…detached?
“Yeah…” Allie nodded. There was a hint of sadness in her voice. “My mom always said; ‘If they have money, station, AND potential, then blow them’. I learned an awful lot about my parents relationship from her.” A tear fell from her eye…and then another. “What did your mom tell you?”
“Nothing really... It’s just that… Well… One day I came home a little early from our neighbor’s house and saw my mom in the living room with some guy. She was on her knees blowing him.”
I rubbed my temples. I felt a headache coming on. It must have been the wine?
“Oh my God…! What happened?”
Allie was yet again shocked. She never expected to hear that kind of tale being uttered from my lips.
“Nothing. He saw me and smiled. She heard me…looked up to see me…and went back to doing her thing. I’m pretty sure she was drunk. She drank a lot. I was about ten at the time.”
“That must have been terrible. What did you do?”
“She must have thought I went into my bedroom. But I didn’t. I got down on the floor and watched from the corner of the doorway. Her back was to me but I saw her head bobbing up and down and the guy was moaning and groaning away. Eventually she got up and pulled him up from the couch. His fly was undone and I saw his stiffy. She grabbed him by his stiffy and pulled him into her bedroom.”
Allie was stunned. I never spoke about my mother or my home life other than in passing and even then I would change the subject quickly. Allie…dear Allie…had the good grace not to pursue it and she never brought the subject up. I stared at the tissue in my hands as I gently pulled at its corners.
“Soon it became kind of a daily ritual…me finding her with some guy. Sometimes there were two or even three in a day. And it was always the same. I would usually see her on her knees at first. Then it was off to her bedroom.” My tears were flowing freely now. “When I got older, she would sometimes come in really late, like maybe three or four in the morning, and she was a mess. She was so loaded that she had to lean against the wall as she walked and…”
I had to stop for a moment at that point because I was so overcome with emotion reliving that time. I simply started to openly cry. Allie, angel that she is, embraced me with both arms and, with one of her hands, gently caressed my back and neck. There were tears coming from her eyes as well.
“You don’t need to go through this Andi.” She whispered softly in my ear. “You really don’t.”
I let her hold me for a few moments until I could garner my emotions. Then I sat back up and gently pushed her away with my palms.
“I need to Allie. It won’t make any sense unless I tell you and…I trust you. I want you to understand.” I began to cry again. “One night she was a mess. Her dress was half unbuttoned. She held the front together with her hand clutching the material. She had no panty on. God only knows where that went. And as she walked, sperm mixed with blood dripped onto the floor and she stank. She smelled like a public toilet. She stank of sex and urine and alcohol and cigarettes and Heaven only knows what else.”
I looked at Allie through my tear clouded eyes.
“Oh my God Andi…! You poor thing...”
Allie took my hands in hers. She had a genuinely pained expression on her face. I looked her directly in her eyes and spoke quite…firmly.
“I learned the word whore when I was twelve and I instantly knew what it meant. I don’t know who my father was and I doubt I ever will. She probably never knew…and she probably wouldn’t have remembered it anyway. The image of my mother sucking some guy off came into my mind when I felt like getting down on my knees tonight. I didn’t want to be her.” My tears just wouldn’t stop.
“Well then…who taught you about women?” Allie asked sadly as she dried her tear dampened eyes.
Will Andi ever play hide the salami? And with whose salami…? All this and more as our tale unfolds.
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