One betrayed; the other violated

Whatever Your Heart Desires Ch. 05
by Cherysse St. Claire  ©

There was no way around it; I had fucked up, big time. First things first;
I did what every rape victim is supposed to do. Detective Dottie Henson of
the police department's Sex Crimes Unit took my report. She escorted me to
the hospital to process a rape kit (neither of us expected anything usable
to turn up after the shower I had taken), plus tox and STD screens (that
thought was chilling).

"Ron" and "Terry" had struck before — several times. They usually dosed
the girl's drink at the bar during the initial pick-up, then took her
somewhere more private, presumably a motel room. I was the second victim
they had 'played' over time. They were slick and methodical. They were not
employed at the health club as they claimed, and none of their previous
'dates' had been given an address or phone number. At that point, the
police could not even be certain what their real names were or if they
even lived locally.

The digital slide show had been a break; Danni's appearance in it more so.
I managed to convince Dottie to keep Danni out of the investigation, at
least for now. She had been ready to put out an 'all-points' for my mate.
Your husband saw you being raped, did nothing to stop it, then disappeared
immediately after? And you aren't at least a LITTLE suspicious? I reasoned
with her. Given my unfaithful past, Danni would have no reason to suspect
what she saw was anything but more of the same — taken to the most
humiliating (for her) extreme yet. That would easily explain her sudden
departure. If I didn't appear in complete control of my senses, well, I
was being fucked stupid and it wouldn't be unusual for me to have a drink
or two — or three — beforehand.

She still wasn't buying it — until I showed her a picture of Danni. It was
one of a series of photos I had had taken of her at one of those walk-in
glamour photography studios in the mall. Danni had been wearing a little
cropped tank top that showed off her cleavage and hand span waist, a
sinfully-short little flare skirt and platform ankle-strap sandals. Her
navel piercing had healed by then and I wanted a portrait that showed off
that cute little jeweled ring. I practically had to catch Dottie's jaw in
my hand and close it manually.

"This is your husband?" she asked incredulously.

"Noooo," I responded with a grin, "this is my wife."

Dottie had just shaken her head and smiled bemusedly.

"OK," she sighed, "I see your point."

She admonished she would still have to interview Danni at the earliest
possible time. He — she, Dottie had corrected herself — was still a
material witness to a felony sexual assault. More to the point, she was in
danger. If we had noticed her in those digital images, the perps would,
too. I hadn't thought of that.

"I'm going to have a unit watch your house for a while," she instructed.

"They wouldn't come back again, would they?" I gasped. "I mean, I can't
testify to anything other than they had been there and I had woken up the
next morning with a headache and sore pussy."

"No, but Danni can," Dottie responded, "and they won't know she's gone.
All they will know is she caught them in the act and would be able to
testify against them. They might be tempted to come back to silence her —
and you, too, if you were there at the time."

I hadn't thought of that, either. It was a chilling concept. So was my
next thought.

"You are going to use us as bait, aren't you?"

Dottie smiled, but not convincingly.

"It might not come to that," she responded, "but we will be watching the
house for now. Kristen, this is the biggest break we have had since this
case was opened. I don't mean to leave you or Danni twisting in the wind,
but if there is any chance we can draw these creeps out into the open, we
need to take it."

The best way to put all this behind me was to immerse myself in my normal
day-to-day routine. Harry, my boss, and the whole agency were solidly
behind me. Harry couldn't understand how my husband could walk out on me
after so traumatic an event. We hadn't told him about 'Danni', so I
reiterated a sanitized version of the same explanation I had given the
police. Beth, Jackie and Gwen were present — at my request — and backed me
up. Harry understood, but still thought of Danny as "unmanly" for allowing
it to happen in our marital bed in the first place. At the time, there was
no way I could argue the point and win, so I let it drop.

It was hard at first; really hard. The initial blood work and all
follow-up testing came back negative for all infectious agents. I was
thankful for at least that much. It didn't bother me to go home again,
either; at least, as far as the rape was concerned. It was still Home and
I would continue to live there. I had plenty of reason to blame myself for
my victimization, but I didn't want to dwell on that, either. What's done
is done.

My trauma was Danni. This deplorable incident had cost me the one treasure
I valued above all others. I had not heard from her since and had no idea
where she was or what she was doing. Our home seemed empty, sterile,
bereft of warmth without her. Sometimes at night, I just wandered
aimlessly from room to room, trying to recapture some faint essence of her
to fill the void in my heart. The thought of seeking out casual lovers to
fill that void revulsed me.

I went to get my hair done, as I always did. That was part of the routine.
Lexi could tell something was wrong with me. I told her everything.
Priests, bartenders and hairdressers; they hear it all. She was really
sympathetic. It had been such an unreal chain of events and had led to
such a tragic end. She hated that I had been assaulted that way. She was
heartened to learn I was coping with it as well as I was — other than the
loss of Danni of course.... Her reaction was not exactly what I had
expected. Certainly, she commiserated with me, but it somehow seemed the
news had not taken her completely by surprise.

As I arose from Lexi's chair, I happened to catch sight of Celine at the
same moment she spotted me. The stunning African-American recoiled as if
stung, hastily turning away from me. That one, brief glance had spoken
volumes. If she had been able to shoot daggers from her eyes, I would have
been dead where I stood. I cautiously made my way to Celine's station,
mentally steeling myself for the miserable, yet necessary, exchange to
come.

"Don't even speak to me," she hissed, busying herself with some trivial
task. "I sure as Hell don't want to speak to you!"

"I have to speak to you," I replied with resolve, "whether either of us
wants to or not. I have to know Danni is all right."

Celine spun around to face me, cold fury in her eyes and voice.

"All right? You come to me after doing what you did, after everything
Danielle did for you, and you ask me if she is all right? No, she is not
'all right'. She may never be 'all right' again. I think she still trusts
me, but that is all the emotion she is willing to invest in anyone right
now. It is only out of respect for Alexis I don't bust your punk ass right
here and now!"

I repeated what I had told Lexi about my assault and why the police
thought Danni was in danger. Whatever mistakes I had made, I didn't want
anyone to hurt her. Celine regarded me warily for a moment. Her face
softened almost imperceptibly.

"You don't have to worry about that," she intoned. "I'll take care of it."

At least I knew someone was in contact with my lover. I had instinctively
respected the Nubian beauty the moment I laid eyes on her. She was
defending Danni as a she-wolf would her pup. As much as it pained me to
not be able to see or talk to my love, I understood she was in good hands.
I tried to string together the right words to say, wishing I had Danni's
talent for it at that moment.

"I know you won't believe this right now," I began slowly, "but I do love
her with all my heart. If the only way I can prove that is to stay away
from her until she is ready to contact me, that is what I will do. I trust
you to take care of her and I know you have her best interests at heart. I
do, too, though I wasn't very good at showing it. Just be good to her,
please — better than I was. She deserves that."

Celine opened her mouth to say something, then thought better of it.

"You need to go," she stated without emotion, then turned away.

I did, without argument.

It was the tiniest of breakthroughs imaginable, but a breakthrough
nonetheless. At least I knew Danni was alive. I didn't know where, but was
certain Celine did. Perhaps Danni was living with the Black girl. That
would make sense. She would have turned to the only other person with whom
she felt safe. I said I had instinctively respected Celine from the first
time I saw her. I would have to do so now, setting aside my petty jealousy
of Danni being with another woman.

I did what I set out to do. I went to work and immersed myself in my
normal routine. I sold properties, went to lunch or for after-work drinks
with my friends, then went home. Once in a while, they convinced me to go
out to a club. Of course I got hit on, as was their intention. I was
cordial. It felt good to at least carry on a conversation that wasn't
related to work. I danced some, too. It felt good to hold someone, feel
their warmth. It just wasn't the same. Their petty preoccupations with
sports, their jobs, a new car or boat, and how they had been searching for
a girl like me just seemed so banal.

I actually did take one of them home — once. His name was Stan
something-or-other. He was... a man. That is the only way I can put it. He
was attractive enough and had a nice body. The 'package' was okay, too —
just okay. He fucked me routinely. He came. I didn't. I didn't ever try to
fake it. I was cordial enough afterwards and got rid of him as soon as I
decently could. All the time he was in me, I was comparing him to Danni.
There really was no comparison; Stan lost, hands down.

A couple of months later, a bizarre story was reported on the local news.
Acting on an anonymous tip, police had raided a local motel room and
apprehended two men wanted in connection with a series of sexual assaults
on area women. Also confiscated in the raid were digital camera and video
equipment, plus recorded digital disks allegedly containing evidence of
previous assaults. Upon arrival at the scene, police found the room's door
forcibly opened and the men handcuffed, beaten... and, allegedly, sexually
assaulted. Arraignment was pending their release from an area hospital. At
that time, police had no suspects in the apparent vigilante-style attack
on the pair. Further details would be made available as they were
released....

And then I saw her. Gwen told our little group about a new club, Gotham.
The four of us decided to check it out on a Friday night. The décor was
dark, brooding, and heavily goth-inspired. There were lots of dark little
alcoves and passageways to explore — or get lost in. Danni was on the
dance floor with another girl. Her partner's back was to me, but I
couldn't mistake my estranged mate's gorgeous body and fiery copper
tresses for anyone else.

Both women were dressed like little sluts, with deeply-plunging necklines,
obscenely short skirts and perilously high stiletto heels. They were
dancing really close, into the slow, sensual beat and each other. The
entire room seemed to be fixated on them. Finally, the other girl took the
ravishing redhead's hand in hers and they strolled off the dance floor and
into the corridor. I followed them, picking my way carefully through the
crowd.

I searched room after room, corridor after corridor, trying to catch sight
of the couple again. Had they left? Was that it; one brief glimpse, then
she was gone from my life again? Just as I was about to give up in
despair, I spotted them in a dark, deserted dead-end alcove. They were...
fucking, right there where anyone passing by could see them. The act was
so brazen, so extreme, so blatantly erotic, my pussy started gushing its
juice. Like some lowly peeper, I couldn't help but hide in the shadows and
watch.

I reached under my skirt and began massaging my aching clit with two
fingers, moving in a light, circular motion. I couldn't tear my eyes away
from the erotic tableau before me; two beautiful women, one with a thick,
meaty cock, fucking in public with reckless abandon. Is this what she and
I had looked like? It had to be. The other girl's face was hidden in the
shadows. I had a clear view of Danni's clit pumping in and out of her
snatch. They were moaning desperately, seemingly moments away from
release. So was I. I switched from massaging my clit to plunging the two
fingers forcefully into my love nest, pumping hard in time with Danni's
thrusts.

The three of us came within moments of each other, their shrieks masking
my own moans. My knees buckled at the force of my orgasm. I grabbed for
the wall to steady myself. It was the first orgasm I had had since Danni
left. Despite the tawdry circumstances, or perhaps because of them, it was
an intensely fulfilling one. After a time, the pair composed themselves,
straightened their disheveled clothing, and strutted confidently on, hand
in hand. It was then I caught a good look at Danni's partner. There was no
mistaking that raven-haired beauty. And to think, I had been seated in her
styling couch only two days before, as I did every Wednesday!

For the rest of the weekend, I fucked myself furiously with the biggest
dildo I had, as that scene replayed over and over in my mind. I was
obsessed with it, couldn't get it out of my head. I came, too; savagely,
ferociously, again and again. It was insane. In effect, my 'wife' had
cuckolded me with one of my best friends — and I was getting off on it!
Perhaps it was because of the audacious, in-your-face boldness of the act,
so much in keeping with the character of the relationship Danni and I had
shared. It was almost like she had been fucking me in that dark, secluded
alcove. In a way, she had.

At the office Monday morning, my girlfriends and I discussed our outing.
The other three commented I had suddenly disappeared and wondered what had
happened to me. I replied I had gotten caught up in a hot scene in another
room and wound up going home early — all of which was true. Later, Gwen
pulled me aside. She smiled, hesitantly at first, then with genuine
warmth.

"I hope it was good for you, too," she intoned. "I mean that, Kristen. You
have been a good friend, even when I wasn't. You don't deserve to have
been alone so long."

I wasn't exactly sure what she had meant by that, but I took it at face
value and thanked her.

I had a decision to make. The smart choice was to find a new hairstylist
ASAP. Even if she didn't know that I knew, how could I face Lexi again
after what she did? Then again, how had Danny faced me again all those
times, knowing what I had done behind his back? I had been a lot more to
him than a hair stylist. Lexi had been my friend a long time. Technically,
she hadn't cheated on me, hadn't gone behind my back. Although we were
still married, Danielle was currently fair game — and if she was going to
be with anyone....

I kept my regular Wednesday appointment. Lexi was all smiles as she seated
me in the plush, contoured couch. She was really animated, talking about
anything and everything, yet saying nothing in particular. When she had
finished with me, I rose from the couch, turned, and just looked at her.
She was as animated as before, beaming radiantly. As I continued to
silently gaze at her, the smile faded slowly from her face.

"What?" she asked.

"I was there," I softly intoned. "I watched."

She knew what I meant. She stared at the floor, blushing. Then she looked
at me again.

"I won't apologize," she stated evenly.

"I won't ask you to," I replied.

"What do you want to do now?" she inquired guardedly.

"I want," I responded, glancing at my watch, "to take you to lunch. Can
you get away?"

The smile crept back onto her face.

"I can always make time for a good friend," she chirped.

Understandably, lunch was a little awkward at first. We had gone to the
little sidewalk café, around the corner from the salon, which was our
usual haunt. I had to break the ice somehow, so I simply started with the
first thing that came to mind.

"She looked good," I began. "Actually, the two of you looked good
together."

"Thank you," Lexi spoke hesitantly. "She really does look good, doesn't
she? You gave her the confidence, and Celine..."

She glanced down at the tabletop for a moment, then looked up again.

"How much did you see?"

"I told you. I watched. I was in the alcove with you, in the shadows. I —
I masturbated while I watched her fuck you. I came when you did. That was
hot."

The conversation took off from there. When she asked if I minded, I was
quick to reply "yes", but followed up by pointing out I had no exclusive
rights to Danni at that moment and Lexi had always wanted to find out how
good I had it. She looked at me with a dreamy expression on her face and
acknowledged the liaison in the alcove had been only one of many that
night, and that she had almost not made it to work Saturday morning. When
I commented Danni did know how to satisfy a woman, Lexi beamed.

"I probably wouldn't want her full-time, the way you do," she intoned
enthusiastically. "I mean, I really like men, but, DAMN, Girl, I have
never had another lover who could push my buttons like that!"

When she saw the misty look in my eyes, my friend took my hand in hers and
gave it a little squeeze. She reassured me it was not over between my
lover and me. Danni talked about me constantly, Lexi observed, and
obviously missed me as much as I missed her. Lexi admitted she had related
the details of my rape to my spouse, and how I had set it up to fulfill
the fantasy of Danni and I having sex together with two guys.

Danni revealed how her entire transformation had begun with my revelation
of that fantasy, and that it was a turn-on for her as well. She simply
hadn't been certain at that point how she felt about having sex with a
man.

The issue of my casual affairs had hurt her much more than she let on. She
hadn't said anything about it because she loved me that much and wanted us
to stay together. Danni had believed that, with her transformation at my
behest and in light of how well things had been going in our relationship
as a result, I had finally put all of that behind me. Then, when she had
come home that night and found me in our bed, fucking the two men we had
met at Friday's, she had just lost it.

The revelation of what had actually happened that night had hurt Danni
deeply. She had never wanted anything like that to happen to me. My
estranged spouse felt ashamed she had sat in the next room, doing nothing,
while I had been so callously abused. She felt doubly-ashamed that she had
believed me capable of acting so callously towards her.

It was my turn to stare at the tabletop, in an effort to hold back my
tears.

"She didn't know," I sobbed quietly. "She had no way of knowing. She had
every right to think exactly what she did. She wasn't wrong. I didn't even
bother to ask her if she was ready to do it with me. All I could think
about was how much I wanted that bastard Ron Randall. I deserved what I
got."

Lexi's smile disappeared.

"Listen to me carefully, Kristen," she intoned resolutely. "No woman
deserves what you got. I know it. Danni knows it. You'd better know it.
Even Celine knew it, bless her heart. She and Danni... took care of it
with some of their friends.

My heart skipped a beat at the sudden vision. I suddenly remembered
something from the salon this morning I wanted to ask. I hadn't seen
Celine in the salon that morning. Was she sick? Lexi looked ill herself
when I asked. She replied that Celine would not be working at the salon
anymore. I teased her about losing her to some other big salon, the same
way she had snatched the gorgeous Black girl from the school.

I saw in her eyes that whatever the cause, it was not something to make
light of. I squeezed her hand and apologized, stating that after the way
Celine had helped Danni, both before and after our break-up, I could tell
she was someone really special. "She was the best," Lexi stated simply.
Then, she brightened a bit, relating that her intuition was that Danni
would be on my doorstep tomorrow if she hadn't had something going on at
that moment.

And there it was. That was what I had been afraid of all along. I sighed
resolutely, asking if she and Celine were good to each other, the way
Danni and I had been? If they were, I wouldn't make trouble for them. Lexi
stared at me, shaking her head. She replied she didn't know how I had
gotten that idea, but it had never been that way between Danni and Celine,
that Celine would not have allowed it.

I didn't understand that at all. Danni and Celine were obviously close. I
wasn't able to resist Danni's charms and Lexi hadn't been able to, either.
The entire subject of Celine seemed to be one Lexi wanted to avoid at the
moment, so I just chalked it up to Celine not being into T-girls as Lexi
and I were, and let it go.

Lexi reiterated Danni had something big going on, something other than a
personal relationship, but she was being very close-mouthed about it. The
gorgeous T-girl was still mine, my friend asserted. It was just going to
take some time for the hurt to heal, and for Danni to get her head
straight and finish what she had to do. She really wanted me back, Lexi
avowed. My heart was pounding. I felt dizzy.

"I want her back, too. More than anything."

It was time for us to get back to our respective jobs. We arose from the
table, walked out to the sidewalk, and hugged. My friend scrutinized me
carefully.

"Are we OK?" she questioned.

"More than ever," I responded as I hugged her again.

"Prove it," she challenged.

"How?"

Lexi winked.

"Gotham. Saturday night, for your birthday. You and me. Stop by the salon
before closing. We'll do dinner, then go out — just the two of us."

"It's a date," I replied enthusiastically.