Where Worlds Collide
Previously: The guests are in another bedroom as I will be in Sandy’s room with her. Tricia and I both shower and change into our beach clothes. After drying off we’re changing to our beach clothes. I’m totally embarrassed by the idea of meeting someone this way. ‘But I am excited by the idea that I’m attractive enough to do so.’
…We’re both done and putting our hair into ponytails for swimming, when Sandy arrives home and comes bouncing into her room. Sandy seems a little upset but is surprised that we are being so calm.
…Finally, Sandy says, “Our guests know who you are Marti. I didn’t think it would be fair if you’re totally surprised when you see them…
Now: Sandy can already see that I am ready to panic. I’ve stopped everything else to hear the names. Sandy says, “Your parents flew in yesterday and met with my folks here last night. They’re wanting to seeing you and then talk to you alone.”
Sandy begins to say, "But you're no longer listening. My Mom said your Dad is…”
I say, “Sandy, you have to help me! I can’t allow my parents to see me like this. I need my car and keys, a change of Marty’s clothes and a way to sneak out!”
Tricia has taken hold of one hand and Sandy steps forward to hug me, “No, you’re not listening. They told my parents that they love you and want to understand.”
“Sandy, how could they betray me like this? My parents are going to kill me if they get me alone plus to see me in beachwear?”
There’s a knock on the door as it opens. Whoever it is, isn’t waiting. I see my Mother and her surprised look. Mrs. Ellen Sparks is right behind her trying to hold my mother back. “Alice, Mrs. Stanley, we can’t just barge in, she’ll be scared out of her wits.”
That is very true. I quickly hug the wrap around me. I know with the shorts and wrap I am presentable, but my makeup, hair and outfit all say “girl!” Mother stops in her tracks and I know she is not sure which one is me. Her eyes look back and forth among Tricia, Sandy and me. She narrows it, first to me and Tricia. I’m sure Sandy is much too beautiful. Then she begins staring at me. She looks me up and down several times before speaking. “I can’t believe it, please open the beautiful wrap Marty.”
I only relax a little as I open the top and look to Sandy. Mom speaks up saying “Marty, you’re a young man, how could you dare put on a two piece swimsuit and tramp around like that. I might have accepted it, if you showed some taste. Go to the bathroom and change. You’re going with us now or else.”
I begin to cry as I turn to run to the closet. Mrs. Sparks speaks more loudly, “Stay there young lady!” Sandy steps in front of me to block my leaving.
I turn around, “Mom, I’m not tramping around as you say. I’m comfortable for once being me.” I close the wrap, holding Tricia’s hand with the other. And then I do introductions. “Mom, this is Sandra Sparks and Tricia Morgan and this is my Mom.”
Mom asks, “Tell me how this all started?”
“Mom, I stopped and helped Sandra on Interstate 95 coming down for spring break. And the result was I got a crash course and a lot of help being me.”
Mom is not yet relaxed or comfortable; “Marty use your regular voice. And despite their support and good intentions this is it not you!”
There’s a silence before my mother says, “I’d like you to put on your clothes and then we can talk young man. I don’t want to have to force you and treat you like a little spoiled boy.”
Mrs. Sparks speaks up, “Maybe we should leave you two to talk. Marti you can sit on the edge of Sandy’s bed and Mrs. Stanley you can have Sandy’s vanity chair. …Sandy and Trish come, let’s give them some time to talk.” With that they leave.
My mom calms down a little, but is still very uncomfortable. “Marty, I knew you had done dressed up before, but you were to grow out of it. I thought you did. You can’t really accept that you’re a girly boy. Think how embarrassing that would be to all of us.”
“Mom” part of Marty’s voice is heard before it goes back to my girl voice, “I don’t have all the answers, but this is me. I’ve been Maria, Sonja, Jane and they’ve called me Marti. I like that. It’s somehow normal for me. I’m your Marty and more.”
Mom says, “You’ll get counseling with someone who will help straighten you out. You’re so fragile; how would you ever handle people’s reaction if you came out like this? You won’t have the beautiful clothes the Sparks bought for you or people to do your makeup and hair.”
“You’re right Mom, I won’t have all that. But right now, I’ve done my hair and have on hardly any makeup. Yet you probably only see me as Marti, a young woman. And I’m a lot stronger than you think. How do you think, I’ve lived with this part of me pressed down inside? I’ve come a long way since my problems in seventh grade.”
“Still, if you only let us help you and get the right people, they’ll straighten you out.” Mom starts crying. I’m not sure if it’s her attempt to get me to change or to convince herself.
“Mom it isn’t like that. The good counselors will tell you this isn’t a disease to be cured. It is who I am. Whether I generally present myself as female or male that’s one thing. But now having a good taste of being me, a woman; I’m not sure I can ever fully go back.”
Mom gets up and storms out.
I use Sandy’s bathroom to check and collect myself. I change my shorts for one of my skirts. Then I come out of the bedroom and go downstairs in search of the others. They are out on a deck, seemingly everyone except my mother. Tricia, Sandy and Hannah see me first. They come over to me to make sure I know I have support.
Once my Dad sees me he is a little surprised but smiles. “They showed us pictures of you, but they were hard to believe. I can see they’re quite accurate.”
Ellen Sparks says, “There’s pastry to choose from as well as coffee or juice; get something and please be seated.” There is a wicker chair I sit in and sit up so I can use my lap for the food plate. I swept my skirt under me. It is a composure of grace and balance that my dad has rarely seen with me, especially seated on the edge and sitting straight up. It has become something I’m used to.
Dad says, “Tricia says, you’ve even seen her college and consider possibly transferring there. That’s a pretty big step.”
There’s a pause; “Being me in front of you is a big enough step for now.” I smile and find myself wetting my lips. Realizing my Dad’s seat is big enough for two, I contemplate moving to sit next to him. I regularly would have been over to hug him by now. Dad sees me looking at the spot and he taps it like an invitation to sit there. I want to sip my tea and eat my pastry first.
The conversation is light and changes to the scenery and weather. Tricia comes next to me and leans down to give me a kiss, her hands rest on my shoulders. She takes my plate as I finish and then my cup.
I move and sit next to my father and he stood up to give me a hug. I’m sure the presence of breastforms is not lost on him. It feels different as Marti, and I’m conscious that I’m a daughter hugging him.
I recount the story, “I stopped to help Sandy and I guess my face had traces of lipstick and eye makeup in the corners of my eyes. That with my panty showing as I bent down to work on changing the tire.” My Dad lightly laughs as he pictures what I’m saying.
“She asked me to follow her off the interstate, and I ended up escorting her back here to her house. Once she found my secret identity, she and Hannah set out to help me see myself. I never dreamed they would help me to look presentable as a young woman.”
I felt another set of hands upon my shoulder. Turning around I was surprised to see that my mother had come into the room and was now listening in on the conversation. I guess my expression changed to become a little fearful. Mom says, “Relax Honey, while it is a bit shocking for me; I do care about you. I think it would be good for you, your father and me to take a walk. I’d like to hear your story and to talk some.”
I’m moved by the tenderness of her words. I stand up and turn, giving her a hug. We kiss each other on the cheek, girl fashion. Mom whispers, “Sorry for making you upset. I do love you.” She did suggest I change back into the shorts that go with the outfit as well as some sandals.
I went and changed and we’re walking up near the dunes and away from other people. Mom asks, “Your complexion is glowing, can I ask if you are taking any supplements along with pampering your skin?”
I say, “Not enough to change me, but as you say to soften my complexion. I guess you noticed that?”
Later after our walk, I was alone with Dad. Dad says, “I reminded your Mom that when we were younger I dressed in her clothes a time or two. It was with clothes she didn’t want back,” he snickers.
“But Dad, you’re not built like me. …I thought it was neat to have a dad sensitive like you, but I never imagined you would have done that. You never told me nor my sister.”
“This is not for sharing; it was usually under the guise of a celebration: Halloween or a Mardi Gras party. I didn’t present as well as you do. It wasn’t something I felt compelled to do or be, but I did enjoy those times.”
Once back to the house, I found out Tricia had headed back to her college and her work. The rest of us, we’re going out to eat tonight, before I head back to my school in the morning.
Mom felt the need to shop and get something appropriate to dine out in. It definitely is a more upscale society than we come from. Though most of us would dress casually that too was better than we were used to. Ellen Sparks as well as Sandy decide to come with us. It wasn’t the store I went to before.
While we’re there and my mom is finding a number of dresses to try; my dad messages me. “Mr. Sparks said, he offered you a summer job as Marti. Are you seriously coming to work for him this summer and living here as Marti?”
I text back, “I dreamt about it, but hadn’t taken it seriously.” The truth is I’m more nervous about going back to college. I hadn’t considered it as a serious possibility. “Yes Dad, I’d love to.” The texting ends.
Mom is happy as she’s found a dress for herself and the one I thought she had chosen for herself, is to be for me if I like it. I look at the dress and indeed it is not only very attractive but it’s more for my age. “Here Marti go and try this on. And if these panties and bra are the right size please try them as well.”
It is a beautiful cream dress and the bra and panties are silk. I’ve not ever felt something so amazing to wear. When I come out to show my mother, Mrs. Sparks and Sandy, they’re all smiling, saying things like “That is so you Marti.”
Sandy has a pair of white strapped heels for me to step into. When I do, my mom offers me to hold onto her. Sandy is wrapping the straps around my ankle and fastening them. I have had some practice and three inch heels, these are no longer a problem.
The hardest part was taking everything off so they could be paid for and taken home for tonight. ‘Home,’ truthfully it has become my home as Marti. I’ve blossomed here, and I feel very comfortable at the Sparks house.
Going back to the Sparks, Mom and I are talking in the back seat. She says, “Tonight while we’re out if someone asks you to dance, I hope you will. I want to see how comfortable you are as Marti.”
I say, “I hope I’m not asked, but I will do it if others and I are asked.”
Mom says, “I’m not worried about others, I want to see if you really act as a young woman. If they have red blooded men around here, I’m sure that you’ll all be invited to dance.”
I get a text and I can’t believe it, my friends Rex and Dilbert: “Hey what happened, we thought you’d be a day behind us. Needless to say, your deposit money went toward the room we had for the week. …You’ll be disappointed we met some of the prettiest college girls. Whatever your experience might have been, it won’t come close to ours.”
We checked back at college, so we know you came down here, but no one’s seen or heard from you. Someone said, he might have seen you at the side of the Interstate helping some distressed damsel.”
I text back, “I too have had a life changing spring break. You may notice a difference when I get back to the university. Marti”
It is 6:00 p.m. and I’m told by Sandy, “We’re to get dressed for the evening out. We’re to leave around seven.” If it holds true to form we won’t leave before 7:30. Sandy has both of our dresses hanging up out in her room. I lightly powder myself, following Sandy’s lead and direction. Making sure my gaff it still in place, I have no worry about my manhood as the silk panty is hugging my bottom snuggly. I lean forward to help fill my bra with my breasts. They are nice, snug and present a healthy glow of cleavage from the front opening of the dress.
Sandy says, “I’m glad you like how you fill out your dress. I had begun to worry if you’re veins had become filled with ice. You’re acting so cool and calm.”
I say, “I’ve been walking on eggshells not sure what my Mom was going to say. Her snapping at me the first time is the Mom I’ve known. Did someone talk to her or drug her?”
Sandy says, “I think she surprised my mother the first time. I’m sure my mother talked to her point blank that she was running the risk of losing you. I think it helped her get a better outlook on life. My mom says, your father also had a good talk with her, but that was private.”
“The only thing we know is that she has since enjoyed embracing you as her daughter. Buying this evening dress for you is a strong indication that she does love you and wants to be part of your celebration of coming out.”
Sandy asks, “So was that Tricia who text your before? What did she have to say?”
I say, “No, it was the two guys I was to be with at Ft. Lauderdale. They said they had a great time and were heading back to the university. They wondered what happened to me and why they hadn’t heard from me.
“I text them back saying, I had a life changing experience but hadn’t elaborated, but I did sign my text Marti.”
My stocking feet slip into my new heels and this time I sit down to strap them properly myself. I run my hands up my legs when I’m done. The sensation I felt was enough to draw a soft moan of pleasure.
Sandy is wearing her panty and bra set as well as silk stockings. I help hold her dress and help put it over her head. Accidentally my left hand brushes against her breast. Instead of thinking like a regular guy, I’m jealous that her breasts are real unlike mine. Sandy looks at me, saying, “Thanks for helping me, but please let things stay between us as girlfriends.” It is my chance to zip the back of her dress and fix the hook properly.
Sandy uses her vanity to do her makeup as I use the sink and counter in her bathroom. I was hoping she or Hannah would be watching or helping me, but neither looked in until I’m all done. Sandy says, “You did amazingly well Marti. Hannah and I agreed you needed more opportunities to do it on your own.”
I asked, “But aren’t you going to correct some of what I’ve done?”
She said, “There probably could be some improvements, but that is up to you to catch. But don’t worry, I suspect your mother would be more than willing to help you.’ That gave me the incentive to check my makeup and make corrections on my own. Sandy did point out an area that my makeup was not as even and smooth as it could be.
She helped me with her curling iron to help set the curls in my hair for the night. I felt proud as my Mom complimented on the job I did in getting ready.
Lela’s over to go with Hannah to dinner. I looked to Sandra and she whispered, “I think they’ve fallen back in love again. But I don’t think her parents will be very happy if she transfers from Duke like she was talking about to be with Hannah being at Clemson.”
Our Dads are out and Mr. Sparks pats my father on the back. “Charlie, you’ll be stepping into a new world along with your daughter. I hope your business can keep up with what a young woman can cost you.”
Mrs. Sparks enters the room, “Shush, or you’ll be paying part of that cost if she comes to intern this summer with you.”
Both my Mom and Hannah are the two that are taking longer tonight. Sandy whispers, “You can tell when she’s trying to impress Lela; this is what happens.”
I get nervous and need to go to the bathroom. It is then that I find out how difficult and complicated it can get to use the toilet, when I’m wearing such a nice dress and don’t want to spoil it. Luckily, Sandy comes and gives me directions from outside the door.
Finally we’re ready to leave and a limousine has pulled up to take us to the restaurant as one group.
I was careful as I was worried about stepping into the limousine and trying to sit gracefully. Sandy said, “Don’t worry about what others think, just try to do your best. If you end up plopping down and your dress flies up don’t worry.”
Hannah says, “Use a little more effort than that. It will be the first time your mother will be watching her daughter as a woman.”
“Thanks a lot, I thought I was supposed to relax and enjoy tonight.”
Hannah says, “Thinking you are to enjoy it is just part of the experience of being female. Most of us find pressure to be part of our everyday life. There are pressures others put on us and pressures we place on ourselves. How we look and how we perform to somebody’s expectations. You might as well experience that with something small.”
I say, “Like how I get into a limousine with my mother watching me?”
Lela says, “You should also have your own standards about how you do and look to others. When you get out there; there might even be some guys watching you.”
I tell my first white lie, “I’m not worried about some guys looking at me.”
Lela and Hannah get in and take some of the closer seats to the door. But I didn’t watch to see how they handled it. My parents and Sandra are next. Mrs. and Mr. Sparks encourage me to go before them. My skirt is tight enough that I need to lift the hem of my dress a little to reach my foot in. I thank the chauffer for allowing me to hold him while I step into the vehicle. I am sure I am making mistakes, but my Mom is the first to ask, “Marti have you been practicing that? You did very well.”
I worried that she was speaking down to me, until Sandra and her mother both compliment me. Mrs. Sparks saying, “I don’t think you’d have done so well just a week ago.” I sit down and soon cross my feet and hold my legs close.
I’m sitting near my Mom and she says, “Honey, I don’t want you worry about every little thing. Try to relax and enjoy yourself. You appear to have the makings of a wonderful woman. You should feel like a beautiful butterfly emerging from her cocoon.”
I pause as Mom has given me a beautiful image of myself. I turn to give her a hug, but I’m embarrassed. I’m ready to cry over nothing, I can’t believe that.
Ms. Sparks says, “I bet the other Marty doesn’t understand the tears.”
I ask, “Am I supposed to?”
Sandy reaches to hold my hand, “You’re allowing yourself to feel like a girl that’s good.”
“Well, I don’t like it.”
The night lights are on and there’s the moon in the sky, reflecting off the ocean. My senses are in overload as we come to the nightspot.
A violinist is even there to serenade us. I watch several exit the limo and decide to be next. Once I begin to stand up, I recognize that Troy is one of those holding my hand and helping me out of the limousine.
I didn’t plan it but for some reason, I give Troy a kiss on the cheek as I say, “Thank you.”
Troy says, “I heard the Sparks were bringing guests here for dinner; I was hoping you’d be among them. Will you let me dance with you later?” I wasn’t answering so Sandy decided to answer for me.
She said, “I think the kiss on your cheek serves as your answer. I think she hopes you’ll give her a big passionate kiss later.”
I quickly say, “No!” Hannah says, “But your body says yes, yes!”
I turn to my parents and say, “That’s not true.”
Mom says, “I wouldn’t blame you. He’s a very attractive young man. I hope you will dance with him if that is what you’d like.”
We have shrimp, a wonderful salad and I have the lemon white fish with rice. I have a small glass of white wine. Mr. Sparks had offered a toast for my parents and myself. “I hope your first visit here is a blessing and that you’ll bless us by returning again.”
Mr. Sparks asks, “Marti are planning to be a Patriot? Francis Marion will offer you a very good education if you say, yes.”
I say, “I liked the University, but I’m not sure I can afford to come here.”
His wife says, “Would a $10,000 dollar scholarship make it possible?”
I say, “But they say, all they can offer at this point is a $5,000 grant and to be in a work program.”
Mrs. Sparks says, “That would give you $15,000 in financial help. I’d think that should make it quite manageable.”
I’m surprised by the extra ten thousand in scholarship. They know something I do not. I turn to my parents, “Would that be alright with you two?”
I take a bite of the fish with rice and this bite has a very tart lemon flavor. I can’t help but make a puckered face. Mom lightly laughs, “It would be a great opportunity for a new start. But it has to be for you and not just because Tricia is there.”
“I think my answer is yes, but don’t anyone hold me to it quite yet.” Howard Sparks begins to clap and other join in. He picks up his glass and with nothing said salutes me. My Dad says, “To the Patriot.”
There is a band that begins to play by 9:30 and Troy is soon over to me asking for a dance. It is nothing special but it is quickly special to me. His cologne is woody and with the scent of the ocean, I find my emotions being caught up with him. It is after the third we walk out to the patio. His arms hug me from behind as I stare out to the ocean. His warmth helps to make the moment special. I don’t know how a woman is to feel, but I am moved. When I turn to face him, I’m embracing him and we have our first passionate kiss.
It is closing in on midnight when Troy asks me to go walk the beach and into the water with him. I know better than to move that fast. I did ask Hannah and Lela if they would go down with us. I carry my sandals and we walk along the edge of the water.
Lela is showing more attention to Hannah than I’m allowing Troy. He says, “It’s not fair?”
“You’ll have to decide if I’m worth waiting for. I am not going to be a notch on any guy’s belt.”
He says, “Guys don’t really think like that.”
I say, “I bet you could tell me how many girls you’ve had and most of their names.” He pauses and I know he’s counting. It didn’t take long and a different smile came to his face. “I thought so. But I’ll let you escort me back to the club. Before we’re too close to being there, I’ll give you a wonderful kiss to remember me by.” I faintly hear him say, “I’ll take it.”
Part of me regrets pushing him away and not going further, but I knew better than to be swept away with emotions.
The kiss as we get close is very passionate and I am pleased that he likes it as much as I do.
I can see my mother sees me as we come back into the club. I keep from making eye contact as I get my purse and head to the ladies powder room. I do need to use the loo, but it was my makeup and hair that caused me to go there. That said, I’ve used the toilet and I am close to repairing my makeup when my mother comes in to find me.
“Marti, I’ve no opinion about you as my daughter or a son right now. But, I was glad to see that a nice young man was able to reach in and touch your emotions. That wasn’t the old Marty I’ve known, but the new Marti, I’m coming to see. I thought you needed to know I support you either way.”
“Tomorrow when we head back north in your car, which of you is going to be driving the car?”
I ask, “Do you mean, I’ve got a choice. That is that you’ll accept my decision if it’s as a woman?”
“Marti, you’re an adult. It’s your decision. You could go back as a guy and still plan to transition if you’d decide that as well.”
“Mom, I’m afraid, if I don’t show back up at college as I am. That I may go back into my depression and denial. I need to at least show back up there as Marti. Debra and a few others know of this side. I think they’ll give me enough support to talk to a psychologist there and come out into the light.”
My Mom gives me a hug and says she and my dad are going back to the Sparks with Howard and Ellen.
Once back out to the dance floor, I have another drink. I relax and stay with my Spark sisters another hour and a half. We didn’t close the bar, but we danced and had a good time. Another guy, Matt and I dance a few dances. I am not sure what to make of the fact that I find myself attracted to him as well.
Sandy, Hannah and I stay up to three in the morning talking. The events of the week are quite a memory to relive. Sandy says, “I was thinking that dressing you up would last two or three hours at most. It was fun. You were such a nice person to stop for me. I wanted to be nice to you and hoped you wouldn’t be offended. I never imagined we taped into a secret that needed to see the light of day.”
“I’ve seen two transgendered women,” Hannah says. “But I had not seen one come out of her cocoon like this. And I’d never have predicted how great our parents would respond. I’m so happy for you and proud of them.”
I dared ask, “Do you think it will be alight if I take some of the clothes they bought me?” Hannah giggles and Sandy does the same.
“We’re not going to keep the clothes for us. Don’t be silly. They are your clothes, certainly you take them with you.”
“But I can’t fit all of them into my car.”
“We can get a wardrobe box and have some shipped to your home or to the college. Your choice.” Sandra then asks, “Do you have a place Marti can stay when you get back from spring break?”
“I have a friend Debra McBride, who lives with some other coeds. She told me if I came out I could stay with her, but that it had to be as Marie.”
“So Marie was your name; will it go back to being Marie when you make your final decision?”
We finally decide to go to sleep. Sandy and I shower and change for bed. It wasn’t until we’re finished that we realized it was now an ordinary event and nothing special of me being in her room. =^_^=
Come morning it was eight before I got out of bed and ten o’clock before I got everything packed.
It was good to see my car as well as a surprise. Mr. Sparks had my car tuned up and new tires put on it. He said, “Your first trip as the new Marti would not be the time for having car problems. Plus we wanted to express our thanks for helping Sandy Jo.”
Mrs. Sparks hands me an envelope, “I’ve written a letter that you might want to share with a counselor or the university to authenticate what transpired over Spring Break.” I gave her a hug of thanks, but I could not speak without crying. She understood, I did not.
I had called Debra McBride at 9:30 bef0re we headed off on the road. She was back at her home but would come back to campus early to welcome me into her rooms in the house they were renting. Her joy came through the phone loud and clear.
She talked to Sandy and Hannah and teased me royally when Sandy sent several pictures of me and my new clothes. Sandy sent her one picture that she was especially happy to see, but she would not tell me which one it was.
Sandy says, “You have not yet seen that or a few other pictures.”
We would make it through South and North Carolina and through Virginia. My parents insisted we stop and stay the night inside of Maryland. We road into Baltimore to find a nice hotel and a place to eat.
Spring break officially ended for me the next day.
The end of my Spring Break.
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