The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3166 by Angharad Copyright© 2017 Angharad

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This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
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Despite the bank holiday for May Day, it felt like a busy weekend and true to custom, it peed down much of the bank holiday, though it did water in some of the plants I put in pots on the patio. Danielle helped me and we were assisted by Trish who it seemed wanted to make sure no after effects from our little upset the day before.

They had been back in school for nearly a week and I’d been back in my office an equally long period of time with a secretary who was tanned and gabbled about the wonders of Menorca whenever our paths crossed, including that of making me cups of tea.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d nearly been killed there twice, had seen a rare pine marten and a garden dormouse and had saved a dog caught up in some nasty barbed wire, whose owner in turn saved me. I suppose you could call it a quid pro quo, though to me it was worth several quid.

Oh she’d love to live in Ciutadella, it was beautiful and the yachts were amazing as was the old city and the stained glass windows in the cathedral and what about that windmill which was now a nightclub... Much more and I’ll get her deported.

Then in my lunch hour I had a call from Julie grumbling that Phoebe doesn’t do her share of the housework in their new flat, which was followed by Phoebe ringing me to ask if she could talk to me about Julie, who was becoming a total tyrant. If I have any more children, I shall make sure they’re boys and stay as boys. I’ve had enough of girls to last me a lifetime.

It was exam time and with sickness absences I had to do some invigilation. I hate doing it normally but it did mean four hours away from Diane, except when she brought me a cuppa and biscuit to the exam hall. It doubles as a gymnasium and every year we get grumbles from athletic sorts who want to pump iron but can’t because we need to keep the place locked up to stop cheats installing electronic equipment. Apparently, you can buy tiny ear pieces which are also transceivers and microphones which are smaller than a button and can be placed on clothing almost invisibly, or glasses which act as cameras and transmit images of exam papers. It is disgraceful and we have a policy of any student caught cheating in an exam will be sent down—in other words, thrown out, but that requires a formal enquiry and can take a week or two. We usually only get one or two, or shall I rephrase that, we only catch one or two, so maybe the smart ones aren’t detected but anyone who has lousy marks all year then gets a distinction in the exam is suspect.

At the start of the exam as they were getting comfortable in their stacking chairs, I read out the rules of exam candidacy and that included cheating, anyone caught will be failed on the spot and suspended pending discharge from the university. Then it was time and they turned over their papers and the clever ones relaxed themselves and read the papers several times making sure the adrenaline didn’t distort anything regarding the words of the questions.

I wandered about, dealt with one or two minor queries and then wandered back to my chair. Someone caught my eye, a boy with very long hair, dyed blond and styled like a girl’s but that wasn’t what got my attention, it was his gazing into the distance every so often and then writing frantically. He was wearing glasses too, and they looked girlish but I wondered if they contained something they shouldn’t. I have the right to ask to see them but I’d need more than a hunch to do it. Much of the glasses were hidden by his hair, was he up to something or was I being too suspicious.

I walked past him several times, it was certainly a boy, though his fingernails were a bit long for a boy and were they glistening? It’s not a crime to wear nail varnish or bleach your hair or even wear clothing of the opposite sex but you have to let us know if you want to do it full time so we can amend records and assist if we’re able. Since I changed over many years ago, we’ve had one a year on average in the university and I’m told there’s a transman on the computer department staff.

I watched our pretty boy again, something wasn’t right, I was almost sure he was cheating with some hi tech devices. I spoke with my colleague and he watched him as well and shrugged, ‘he could be,’ was the response.

Now if I was cheating as soon as an invigilator started to watch me, I’d stop and try and finish the paper on my own, or at least wait until someone else took their attention. This guy wasn’t, so he either isn’t or is sure he can’t be detected. Under normal circumstances he wouldn’t be, but then I have some assistance most will never have seen or will see. I wandered down to the end of the row he was in and was now about five desks behind him. I then rolled a large ball of energy down his row. Most of them weren’t aware of anything except perhaps a slight draught as it went through them. He didn’t, he jumped up pulling off his glasses which were smoking, and rubbing his girlish hair.

I of course rushed to his side and snatched the glasses from him, they had a tiny camera built in to them and speakers attached to the arms which could be fitted in the ears out of sight. I called my colleague to get an emergency replacement and I escorted the young man from the room. He was in tears and pleading his innocence, he’d been ill... It fell on deaf ears, we have protocols for students who’d been ill and needed help or extra time to deal with their exams—he hadn’t followed the guidelines, but I was.

I escorted him to the bursar’s office and I handed over the evidence and and made a statement. I then left and the bursar would call his parents and ask them to come and get him because he was in no position to travel alone, he was very upset. He wasn’t one of my students so my part would be to give my statement and the university would probably discharge him and if required to give a reference would state he was discharged for cheating in an exam and thus failed to achieve a degree.

He couldn’t understand how his equipment shorted out and I wasn’t going to tell him but it could be said I had some hypothesis about electronics and sweaty adolescents being a risk of electric shock by shorting out. I didn’t mention the static which must have been generated as I walked past—well why should I, it didn’t affect anyone else?

As they say, in exams, honesty is the best policy.