Sacrificial Alter - Chapter 8

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A story based in the real world. For some reason, a high school boy named J.J. went to sleep and didn't wake up for nearly 3 years. Someone else was awake in his place ...

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Sacrificial Alter
Chapter 8 of 13

Femme Dans La Peau

by **Sigh**
Copyright© 2017 plaintivesigh
All Rights Reserved.

~o~O~o~

J.J. was usually a non-stop talker. He lay in the treatment room at Passages Psychiatric Hospital where a nurse could constantly attend to him. Since awakening from his fainting spell, he just lay still and sobbed, his arms crossing his chest to keep his breasts out of his immediate vision. Dr. Rama now came to visit him.

As he approached his patient, the doctor said nothing. What he did do was pull up a chair next to the gurney and sit down there. He had a box of tissues, and he started doling them out to the teen.

Finally J.J. choked out a sentence. “What (sob) do you need?”

“I myself don’t need anything; I’m here so you won’t feel alone. So you know that I care about you, and so does every one else here.”

“Don’t you (sob) have more important things (sob) to do? You’re a doctor.”

“Right now, nothing is more important than me being here.”

J.J. took a bit to bawl out long and loud. In a few seconds he spoke again.

“I need my momma. If (sob, sniff) you want me comforted, she’s who I need.”

“I wish I could allow it. I cannot. This is even more complicated than you realize, J.J.; the local law is involved, and they have a say in where you stay. If I broke the rules for you, they might not look favorably on your case.”

“My (sniff) case? You mean my medical case?”

“No, unfortunately. Your court case.”

“I’m in trouble … with the law?? (sniff, sob) – my God, how much more worse does this nightmare get?”

“Worse than this, I’m afraid. We need to have a sit down visit where I go over what happened that night at homecoming, and what has happened since. You also need a physical hygiene primer for your new body; I’ll have our head clinical nurse do that with you. But you’re pretty upset now. I won’t proceed with these until you’re ready –“

“I’m ready.”

Rama was taken aback. “I don’t think you really are, Jacoby.”

“Doc. Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way. Otherwise the dread of what’s to come will be worse than going through it (sniff). Please.”

Rama sighed. “Okay – starting in the morning. You’ve been through enough today. I’m going to start you on a medicine to deal with depression and PTSD; the nurse will bring your first dose tonight.”

“Forget that. I don’t want to be a doped up zombie.”

“That’s not what this med does. It won’t dope you up or even make you artificially happy; it just helps keep the black cloud overhead from being quite as big and dark as it could be. It takes at least 2 weeks to work, so we should get started now. If you need help getting you to sleep tonight, I’ll give you a sleeping pill too; they should be safe to take for a short time until your other med kicks in. Tomorrow morning, you’ll meet with the clinical nurse – unless you change your mind, which is OK.”

~o~O~o~

The next morning J.J. was mute again through much of the visit with the clinical nurse.

“We won’t go over bras, hose or makeup; this is mainly learning about basic female body maintenance,” Nurse Fredrickson said. “Here’s how you do a breast self exam.”

J.J. was very careful and slow doing feeling for lumps in his bosom. Especially his nipples; they were hyper-touchy, and he jumped when he pressed on them to make sure they weren’t oozing any abnormal liquid. Next came adjusting to a new center of gravity, what with his new chest and hips; when he tried bending over in his usual 14-year-old boy way, he nearly toppled forward.

“Take shorter steps, J.J. – at least until you get more familiar with your hips. A fall and injury is the last thing you need.”

“Okay, remember, you must sit every time you use the toilet now. And you will always need some paper of some type. So check for it when you choose a stall. If you don’t have paper after urinating, you’ll be left with the decision to stain your pants or to sit there and air dry.”

Jacoby finally spoke up. “Air dry? I’ve never heard … is this what normal girls talk about?”

“Welcome to the glamorous joy of being a woman,” the nurse empathized. “Okay. We saved the toughest for last: care of your vagina.”

Jacoby wondered why applying a simple thing like a panty liner was so difficult to get right. Maybe I’m just nervous about having to PREPARE MY PANTIES. I WEAR PANTIES NOW. GOD.

Now Jacoby lay on his back, knees flexed and feet together on the bed. And nothing on from the waist down.

“Put the lubricant on your finger; now, apply it into the opening down there. Oops! A little more to the center – there you go.” Nurse Fredrickson gave him two thumbs up.

J.J. moved to a sitting position on the table, covering his girlish groin with his hands. “Ah, nurse – I just realized – I’m putting lubricant INTO MY VAGINA. There’s only one reason I’d be doing that – and I am NOT having sex with another dude!”

“Honey, you're 'lubing' down there for another reason. For general vaginal health – whether you ever have sex there or not – you need to keep your vagina dilated. We’re going to go over that; you’re overdue for it, likely.” She held up four items of different color and size, but all the same shape.

“Dildos?”

“No, honey. Dilators.”

“DILDOS??” J.J. suddenly looked pale and woozy. The nurse laid him back down on the exam table until the color was back in his face.

Then, like a trooper, J.J. grit his teeth and performed his first vaginal dilation.

~o~O~o~

The afternoon session was much more traumatic than the morning. J.J. saw the recordings of Nova’s sessions, jaw agape at seeing him in his female form, acting in ways and talking with language that he never would have thought he’d do or say.

He almost passed out once more when he heard of Missy’s murder. He sat on the floor in the corner of Dr. Rama’s office and bawled for an hour straight. Then he stared dumbfounded as Rama eventually told him that he was the chief suspect.

He had no recollection of his father ever hurting him. Rama suspected that some of J.J.’s memories somehow were being repressed, but he could not prove it. The doctor did not show the video of Kitty to J.J., but rather told him the gist of it.

Dr. Rama let the staff know to watch out for any suicidal behavior or speech from the unfortunate young man; he’d not shown any tendency for that, but Rama felt it was better to be safe than sorry.

In a few more days, there was a very positive breakthrough.

J.J. was meeting once more with the doctor and both of his parents (Bob was now allowed to be present, as his presence actually seemed to produce calm in J.J. rather than agitation). The boy sat up and made an announcement.

“I’ve been contemplating my life, and what’s happened to me. I don’t like any of it. In fact, I HATE my current condition. I mean, I’m suddenly a female, and my girlfriend is DEAD, and I’M wanted for murdering her! What in God’s name did I do to have all of this happen to me? Speaking of God, how could He have let this happen? Does He hate me, or is He dead, or what? What … why –”

J.J. began weeping hard, his body jerking with sobs. Becky started to rise out of her chair, but caught herself and turned her head quickly to stare at Dr. Rama.

Rama was trained to interpret body language, but a toddler could have read Becky’s look. It said allow me to comfort my son or I will hurt you. He nodded his head and waved Becky towards her child; she was at his side in a millisecond with a box of tissues.

The tears gushed for a good minute. Then, J.J. pulled himself together and blew his nose clean, wiped his eyes, and set a look of determination in his doe-like eyes and tiny chin.

“So, yeah; this sucks. But I am not a quitter. Mom, Dad – you taught me never to give up, and to make the best I could of any situation. So: I’m going to do that. I don’t know what “the best” of this looks like; but that’s the one choice I have, so that’s what I’m going to do. I believe that in spite of all this, there has to be some purpose for my life. I can still accomplish something.”

That statement produced more tears, but mainly from his mother and father.

J.J. now appeared worried. “But, I’m afraid … I’m going to need a TON of help. And I’ve already been such a burden on you two.”

“The only burden was when you weren’t around, son,” Becky smiled. “Together, somehow, we’ll all get through it.”

“Amen, J.J. I’m right with you, buddy,” chimed Bob.

Becky turned to the doctor. “Is there any chance that he can come stay at home while he continues his therapy with you? He might do better there, now that he’s ‘himself’ again.” An unmistakable yearning could be heard in her voice.

Rama rubbed his eyes underneath his glasses. “Not yet. You, Bob and I need to talk after J.J. goes back to his room here.”

~o~O~o~

Once J.J. was gone, Rama didn’t beat around the bush. “The district attorney called me to get an update on his progress. I am working closely with your defense lawyer to make sure I disclose only what I legally am required to. Still, the D.A. feels that it’s time to schedule your son’s murder trial. He told me it would be on the docket as early as possible, unfortunately.”

Bob growled with anger. “That grandstanding bastard is up for re-election, and wants to be in the headlines with a ‘big win for the people’s justice’. Our son being sex-changed will only make this a juicier story for him and the papers.”

“Also,” added Rama, “they demand J.J. be kept under lock and key. They already feel he has been a fugitive from justice; if I discharge him from the hospital, he will be sent to jail without bond while awaiting trial.”

Becky was pale as a ghost. “Doctor – then you must keep him here, please! As long as possible! This place is not home, but I shudder to think what would happen to my son in jail! Oh god – please tell me you won’t release him!” She looked at her husband. “Bob – what if he’s sent to prison? What if he’s sent to men’s prison? More torture and then death! I – I don’t want to continue living if that happens!”

“Shh –shh, baby. This isn’t over yet,” Bob whispered as he pulled his wife’s head to his shoulder, and then looked to Dr. Rama. “Until the trial at least, can he stay here?”

“I don’t think our work is done here,” Rama answered with a nod. “We are so close to finding out what Kitty knows. That may or may not help J.J.’s case.”

Bob whistled with relief. “Thanks, Doc. Have you seen any sign of Nova since J.J.’s come back?”

“No.”

“Well, great. Good riddance.”

“Bob … Nova is part of your son’s personality, whether you like her or not. She likely will return, sooner or later. I suggest treating her with love, even if she doesn’t reciprocate.”

The father suddenly was clenching his jaw; his face was red and his eyes were leaking. “God … I was so stupid! I knew, I knew what happens on prom nights! That’s when half the girls at school get knocked up! I should’ve given them an earlier curfew; I should’ve stayed home to enforce it; I should’ve chaperoned them; I should’ve done something more, or different! Maybe all of our lives would still be going boringly normal still. God, what I wouldn’t give to go back …”

Now it was Becky who was comforting her spouse, with whispers and light brushes on his cheek with the soft tips of her fingers.

~o~O~o~

To be continued tomorrow.

This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to an actual person or situation is purely coincidental.

Thanks to cyclist, whose advise and editorial skills have elevated this tale to 100x better than it was when I submitted it to her. She is one of the shining stars of our community!

Thanks to JenaJumbled for the awesome picture.

If you've gotten this far, leave a comment! Don't make me reach through the screen and tweak your nose!

Thanks for reading! **Sigh**

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Comments

Prison is an interesting situation

Isn't JJ/Nova/Kitty still legally male, and it seems unlikely they'd be able to change, given outstanding charges and there not (as yet) a consensus between them as to a single gender identity,

(on a tangentially related note, do you have a preferred name for their system?)

also, how the smeg can they possibly justify going to trial when the accused is still in the care of Mental Health?

The most...

...that the DA could do at this point is to file for a plea hearing. At that point, the family's lawyer, on "JJ"'s behalf, would file a competency challenge, delaying the actual plea hearing and triggering a competency hearing, which "JJ" would "win" on the basis of current medical opinion and advice. That would put off the DA, with a fair bit of egg on his face for forcing the issue when it was already well known, to wait. Frankly, while the DA might want to push an easy case to boost his chances of reelection, this particular one, if I were in his position, is one I'd avoid like the plague right now, if at all possible. There will be other, easier fish, if not quite so high-profile, and with less obvious and immediate likelihood of public loss of face.

As to prison, unfortunately, you're right. "JJ" would be forced into men's prison most like, despite how inappropriate that is on the face of things. Thanks, everybody's second-favorite serpentes-american, Florida Governor Rick Scott! >.>

-Liz

Successor to the LToC
Formerly known as "momonoimoto"

Wow, Elizabeth!

That is quite a lot of good insight into the process; wish I'd known to talk to you prior to putting this scenario in place (true statement, no sarcasm!)
I guess I was going along with the narrative that many people don't take DID seriously, and feel that since it is chronic (and often life-long) that they should put the wheels in motion for a trial someday soon. That reasoning doesn't hold up well considering your info. Drat! I'm going to have to think this through some ...

Thanks for your input! Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

No special system name

- just 3 alters in a person with DID.
- Yes, this child is still legally male. Given her current female form, one can understand Becky's fear of what would happen to him/her in men's prison; she'd probably immediately be claimed by one bad dude, and then be subject to his every whim - in other words, back into slavery. And that's the best case scenario!
-they can't go to trial yet - but they can start to get ready to, if they hear that the patient is approaching mental fitness to stand trial. Now that J.J. is back, progress is being made, and possibly a trial in the near future. At least that's the idea I was trying to convey (and I did a poor job, obviously)
- I wouldn't mess with Smeg! He's a character from Czolgolz's "Just One Day of Your Life", one of my favorite TG stories; he's as big as an industrial refrigerator and doesn't tolerate people messing with his friends. Your 'smeg' comment reminded me of that story - it's on this site. If any of y'all haven't read it, you're missing out!
I loved this comment! Thank you Elle!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Me three!

Every time I hear someone say "if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing" I think really?? Not one thing?
I'll tell you, I would change a TON.

Hugz, sis! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Problem with changing a ton

If you could do it all again, knowing what you know now, the only thing you know is what would happen making those choices. There's no guarantee changing your choices might not make things even worse. That's why time travel is not an ability on my wish list :)

Hugs,

Kimby

So shooort

Why must you torture us sigh xD? But wow... so JJ has woken up now, how is this all going to come together. And oh of course the DA is hoping to rush things and get re elected, I hope this comes back to bite him in the butt!

I know who I am, I am me, and I like me ^^
Transgender, Gamer, Little, Princess, Therian and proud :D

I know, I know

I may change back to my usual length format in the future; but there's only 5 installments left now. 5 days. Hang in there!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Optimum Chapter Length

I'm forming the opinion that the best chapter length is around 5000 words.

You have me thinking

about a unique BCTS story challenge - let's call it the 5000 challenge. One self contained story start to finish, in EXACTLY 5000 words; the number 5000 would need to fit into the storyline in a major way.
Nevermind, that sounds masochistic.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Based ON What Happens Now,

Especially in the less liberal areas, JJ would be sent to a wimyn's prison. Pre-op M2F's routinely are sent to men's prisons because of their anatomy. I think anyone sending a pre-op F2M to a men's prison would be crazy because rape would be nearly certain. Law and prisons don't seem to care about the gender between the ears, only the shape between the legs.

Hugs and Bright Blessings,
Renee

True!

but J.J.'s mom is so freaked out with fear, I doubt she'll take solace in facts.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Big Sigh

This is the most intriguing story I've ever read. Just when I expect one thing, another happens !
I love it !

Karen

Wow

What a compliment - I am truly humbled and thankful for it. I'm going to cherish your comment for a long time, like a half pound lollipop. Thank you!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

How Long?

joannebarbarella's picture

Is J.J. going to be the dominant alter? When will Kitty and/or Nova return? The D.A. will look an absolute fool if his witness becomes a different person in the middle of a trial.

Still fascinating and intriguing....lots of questions to be addressed....and a happy ending? Hard to see.

Testifying

I don't believe a defendant has to testify. If she did, I would expect a personality shift would be more of a problem for the defense than the prosecution. A sudden shift in testimony or character would make her not believable in the jury's eyes IMO.

I agree

If J.J. and Nova showed up in the same sitting on the witness stand, that seems it would almost clinch a "not guilty by reason of insanity" verdict. On the other hand, that would likely incarcerate J.J. in a hospital for the criminally insane for perhaps the rest of his life. Still not a good outcome for our protagonist. Love your comment!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Who done it

I guess I have read each episode 2-3 times now looking for clues, and I still want to believe the butler done it. :)

YOU ARE COMPLETELY OFF TRACK

... it should read "the butler did it". JKWK (Just Kidding, Wendy K!)
Oh! and *SPOILER ALERT* it was not the butler. It was Col. Mustard in the library with the lead pipe.

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Three in one ?

OM,can you just imagine what's going through JJ's head right now?

Karen

I know!

I'm glad he's on antidepressant medicine!

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Bleed-through?

Podracer's picture

With one alter to the front, it seems that any other doesn't register what is happening in real time, which is a pity in a way as Nova will not see the love and reality of JJ's family situation.
Still hanging on every word,
Another JJ.

"Reach for the sun."

I know!

With D.I.D. this can occur; all the other personalities being unaware of what happens when they aren't in the "driver's seat". It's great progress if they can all be awake simultaneously. So I've read.

Hugs! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell

Well, unless both the father

Brooke Erickson's picture

Well, unless both the father *and* the mother are insanely good actors, the father can't be the rapist/murderer.

That's because he and the wife were out on the town. And it's likely that they have decent alibis anyway because of being seen by other people.

Doesn't mean that the father couldn't have raped JJ earlier, but it's not too likely.

I do wonder about the existence of the Kitty alter. I can understand why Nova would exist in the situation the kid was in, *wanting* to be female would be a good thing.

But Kitty, that one is harder to justify... unless something *bad* happened to JJ at that age. :-(

Brooke brooke at shadowgard dot com
http://brooke.shadowgard.com/
Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls
It's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world
"Lola", the Kinks

Now, I'm no expert -

But what seems to be true in my research on D.I.D. for this story is that alters can be present from a young age OR appear when older, either due to a trauma or in some cases just happen. And when they do occur, they can be multiple, and can be of any age - even an age the primary person hasn't reached yet. So, if that's the case, Kitty is just a personality that was formed and happens to be age 3, without needing to have had something happen at age 3 to J.J. for that to manifest. And that is my unwieldy, way-too-wordy reply ... :)

Hugz! - **Sigh**

Words may be false and full of art;
Sighs are the natural language of the heart.
-Thomas Shadwell