A world without me : Chapter 10 : Answers (End of Part 1)


A world without me


Copyright© 2016-2017 Anna Hurley (BrokenFox)
All Rights Reserved.


Synopsis: Jake wakes up in a strange bed and finally finds out what's going on with his mum and why Linda is doing what she's doing

Author's note:
So, this is the final part of the first part! And I feel like it could even serve as the end of the whole story, kind of. So in a way, this is actually the first story that I've ever finished! Woo! Hooray for me ^_^
Kinda >.>
I'll add more at the end, but for now I just want to thank you all so much for reading this. The comments and messages I get are a constant source of inspiration and give me the confidence to continue :) So gimme more :P If you think I deserve it.

Chapter 10: Answers


‘Is he awake yet? It’s been five hours.’

I stirred in my sleep and groaned softly, so tired that all I could think about was how warm and comfortable I was. It felt like I was in a bed, with heavy sheets squashing me down onto a pleasantly soft mattress, and I could feel Julia’s fluffy body snuggled up against my chest.

I wondered briefly where I was, as my bed wasn’t nearly as comfortable as this one was, but my thoughts were already fading away. Why had I even woken up?

‘Jake? Are you awake sweetie?’

That was Linda’s voice! Huh…was I in her bed? I’d never slept in her bed before, but it looked really comfortable. She hated me being in her room though. Why wo-

‘Sweetie?’ I felt her pick me up under the shoulders and lift me into a kneeling position for some reason. I moaned unhappily and tried to slap her away, causing Julia to fall from my grasp. I gasped and tried to grab for her but my hands were too stiff and tired. ‘Jake?’

‘Wasgoenon…’ I mumbled, my mouth dry and painful. I slowly opened my heavy eyes and winced at the sudden light, snapping my eyes shut again. ‘Oww!’

I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened them again. Linda’s concerned face slowly came into focus, and behind her was an unfamiliar room. Its walls were a light pink, same as the ceiling, but the carpeted floor was a dark black. There was a long full-length mirror directly behind us and it seemed like it’d slide open into a walk-in wardrobe. Beyond that, there was an elegant brown desk with another mirror set into its wooden backing, and a comfortable-looking cream couch set into the back corner. There were no windows though so it was impossible for me to tell what time it was, but the ornate glass chandelier in the centre of the ceiling was giving off so much light that it felt like it was midday.

My thoughts were slow and sluggish, making it hard to think clearly. I felt like I was forgetting something really important but it was so hard to find the energy to follow up on that and remember. All I wanted to do was collapse back on the bed and go back to sleep.

I turned back to look at Linda and was dully surprised to see that she looked exhausted. Her usually neat hazel hair was a mess, with strands sticking out at the top and sides, and her eyes were dark and tired. Her complexion was unnaturally pale too, almost like she was sick.

‘Where…’ I began and swallowed painfully. God, I was so thirsty. And hungry! When had I last eaten?

‘Can you get us some water?’ Linda asked, turning to look at the entrance to the room. I followed her gaze and was surprised to see a tall young woman standing in the open doorway, dressed in a tight black dress with a white apron tied around it. She had thick black hair pulled into a tight ponytail with two strands falling on either side of her handsome face, and a pair of silver-rimmed glasses covered her dark eyes. I thought for a moment that she was a maid, but that seemed silly.

‘Should I get some food too?’ she asked softly and Linda nodded. ‘Okay. I’ll return in five minutes.’

She looked at me for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face, and then she was gone. I stared blankly after her for a moment, wondering if she was some kind of secretary. Was I somehow at Linda’s work?

‘What’s going on?’ I asked carefully, licking my dry lips. ‘Where am I?’

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, running her hands through her hair and making it even messier. ‘Do you remember what you were doing before you came here?’

I frowned and forced myself to think back to…to the library? I was in the library because I needed to message mum ab-

Message mum about Linda tricking me into taking hormones! Oh god!

My memories of the past few days crashed into my head like a tsunami and my eyes widened with horror. I’d been kidnapped! Lilah had lied to me! Why? What was going on?

I stared at Linda with wide eyes and the now-familiar surge of anger rose inside of me. What the hell was she doing here!? Was she behind me being kidnapped?

‘What’s going on?’ I demanded and looked around the room, seeing that the secretary lady had left the door open. Maybe I could escape out there if Linda really had kidnapped me. I could try and find a police station and they’d arrest her and call mum to come and save me!

I quickly looked away from the door and down at my lap in case Linda realised what I was thinking. It’d be bad if sh…she…she…she…

For the first time since waking up I noticed what I was wearing, and my mind went blank for a moment. I was dressed in a pink silk nightdress, one that ended just above my pale knees. It was tight enough to clearly show off my feminised body and had a purple hem underneath small pink frills. The small sleeves had a similarly decorated hem, and the v-neck had a lining of purple going along it as well. There was even a large, even circle of purple running around my hips.

It was very pretty, and I vaguely noticed that it felt nice too. I’d never worn anything this tight before, or something made out of silk, and it was amazing. But…


I gritted my teeth as a scared whimper threatened to escape my lips. Linda had kidnapped me! This was exactly what I’d been scared of! Her forcing me to dress as a girl and locking me up in some random place where nobody knew where I was and making me her stupid Lain thing, her star! Well, I wasn’t going to let her! Fuck!

I dived off the bed and landed awkwardly on my feet, then stumbled forward and rushed to the doorway. I’d hoped to take Linda off guard but she moved as soon as I did, easily beating me to the door and slamming it shut.

‘Jake! Wait!’ she said loudly, her eyes wide with surprise.

I gasped and tried to stop myself from running, but my momentum threw me forward and I landed in a miserable heap at her feet. The carpet was thick enough to cushion my weight but I landed painfully on my hand, making me cry out.

‘Ah! Are you okay?’ Linda knelt down and reached out to touch me, but I slapped her hand away with a snarl.

‘Don’t touch me!’ I screamed and scrambled away from her. I crawled backwards until I crashed into the mirrored desk, and then glared up at the monster in front of me. A thick wave of hatred stronger than anything I’d ever felt before consumed me and without even deciding to do it I was suddenly screaming at Linda. ‘I hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HA-’

My words ended in a pained whimper as my already-sore throat burned in agony. I coughed and spluttered unhappily, feeling like I did when I’d had tonsillitis as a child. Linda began to come near me and I hissed painfully at her, squashing myself up against the wall. To my shock she actually looked hurt, something I’d never seen her be before. Her bottom lip was trembling and her eyes were red and wet.

‘Jack…’ She swallowed, rubbing an unshed tear from her eye. ‘Please don’t say that.’

‘It’s true! I hate you! I know what you’re doing to me!’ I said croakily, clenching my hands into fists. ‘You lied to me! You’re turning me into a girl on purpose!’

Linda came closer and knelt down a few feet away from her, looking devastated. ‘I know, and I’m so sorry sweetie…’

‘I don’t care!’ I snarled and unsteadily got to my feet, brushing down the hem of the stupid nightdress. ‘I emailed mum about it before and she’s going to tell the police and they’re going to come and arrest you! You’re going to jail! Mum’s going to come and she’s going to save me from you and we’re going to live together in America and you’ll be in jail!’

Linda grimaced and looked sadly at me. ‘She’s not coming, Jake. She’s never going to come.’

I stomped my foot in rage. ‘Shut up! Yes she is! She has to! I emailed her!’

‘That email…’ Linda ran her hands through her hair and got up as well. ‘That’s my email. She gave it to you so you’d think you were talking to her, and told me to reply to your messages pretending to be her.’

I froze, and then violently shook my head. ‘That’s not true! You’re lying again!’

‘I’m not. I got your email as soon as you sent it. I can show it to you on my phone if you want.’

‘No! You’re lying.’

‘Jake, si-’

Linda cut off as there was a soft knock on the door, and we both looked to see it open to reveal the secretary. She had a glass of water in one hand and a plate with a sandwich in the other, which my eyes immediately focused on. Despite my anger my attention was momentarily absorbed by the sandwich, which looked amazing. It had what looked to be a chicken breast covered in cheese and mayonnaise, with tomatoes and peeking out from underneath it. My stomach growled desperately and I took an unconscious step towards the girl.

And then stopped in my tracks as an unfamiliar woman entered the room, brushing past the secretary like she wasn’t even there. She looked to be in her late twenties and had a round, tired face that was very pretty. Her long blonde hair flowed around her thin shoulders and was held out of her eyes by a pair of black metal hair clips in the shape of a crow. She was wearing a neat white dress that emphasized her generous chest, and had on a pair of white high heels.

‘I take it things aren’t going well?’ she asked Linda with a wry smile.

‘I told you they wouldn’t!’ Linda snapped and glared at the woman. ‘Did you really think kidnapping him and drugg-’

You kidnapped me?’ I gasped and stared at the woman in surprise. Did…did that mean Linda didn’t have anything to do with it? ‘Why?’

The woman looked at me and a pleased smile appeared on her red lips, one that reached her eyes. ‘Ohh…Lain, you look so beautiful! Just like your mother when she was ten.’

‘My name’s Jake!’ I snapped and then looked down at the ground with a grimace. ‘And I’m thirteen, not ten.’

‘Aww! She’s so cute, isn’t she?’ the woman said to Linda and then took the glass from the secretary. ‘Here. I heard you shouting from the other side of the house! I imagine your voice must be quite sore by now, hmm?’

She came over and offered the glass to me, but I just stared up at her. She was a head taller than Linda and as such I barely came up to her chest. ‘Who are you?!’

‘My name’s Rachel, and you’re in my home.’ she said with another warm smile. ‘And it’s your home now too, young lady. I’m going to be taking over Linda’s parental duties from now on.’

I blinked, not quite sure I understood that. ‘What?’

‘Drink first.’ Rachel said and pushed the water into my hand. I reluctantly took it and after a moment’s hesitation took a large gulp, the pain in my throat too intense for me to ignore. Rachel beamed at me and nodded encouragingly. ‘Good girl!’

I started at the compliment and turned bright red, then shoved the glass back into her hand. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had actually complimented me…

Rachel looked at me with a knowing smile and went to pat me on the head, but I stepped away and hurried to the bed, away from all of the women. Julia was lying next to it and I scooped her up in a tight hug. She was a familiar, comforting weight in my arms and I held onto her, knowing that I’d look like a child but unable to care.

‘What’s going on?’ I demanded. ‘Why did you kidnap me?’

‘Because I took too long.’ Linda said morosely and I frowned at her.

‘Too long doing what?’

‘Preparing you for the Lain project.’ Rachel said as she came over. I glared at her but she kept coming until she was directly in front of me. ‘Do you know what that is?’

‘No!’ I said, although I had a sneaking suspicion that I actually did know based off of all the weird stuff Linda had said last night.

‘Well, then why don’t we go downstairs to the dining room and talk about it?’ she said and looked at the secretary. ‘I’m sure you’re hungry a-’
‘No!’ I stomped my foot and shook my head, starting to reach my limit with all of the weirdness. I wanted to home, to my safe little room and crawl under the covers and act like this was all a bad dream! ‘I d-don’t care about your stupid project! I’m a boy! I don’t want to be Lain! I w-want to go home!’

‘Sweetheart, I told you before….this is your home now.’ Rachel said and offered me her hand. ‘And it’s a very nice home too! Why don’t you come with me and I’ll show you around?’

I shook my head and hugged Julia tighter as a tear fell down my face. ‘No. I want to go h-home!’

‘Lain…I just told you. This is your home.’ Rachel said and I shook my head no even harder. ‘It is. And do you want to know something special about this house? Your mother and I grew up here together. This is even her old room!’

I sniffed and looked around at the room, momentarily distracted from my fear. ‘What?’

Rachel smiled and knelt down so that we were on eye level. ‘Did you know that she and her parents didn’t get along very well?’

‘Yes.’ I nodded slowly.

‘Well, she ran away from them when she was six, and my parents let her stay here with me. That’s even her old bed.’ Rachel nodded to the bed behind me. ‘You and your sisters cribs used to be in here too.’

‘What?’ My eyes widened in surprise and I rubbed my forehead tiredly, finding it difficult to think clearly with everything that was going on. ‘Ada a-and I lived here?’

‘Only until you were two, unfortunately.’ Rachel sighed heavily. ‘Elaine wanted her own independence so she decided to move out with a…friend.’

‘With her girlfriend. Me.’ Linda frowned at Rachel, who looked back at her with a grimace.

‘Yes, girlfriend. Sorry.’ A look of jealousy crossed her face but it was gone in an instant.

‘You and mum were dating?’ I asked Linda numbly, not sure how to deal with that.

‘Yes.’ She came over and knelt next to Rachel, a sad expression on her face ‘We told you about it but…you probably don’t remember, do you?’

‘Why wouldn’t I remember?’ I asked quickly, something tugging at me from the back of my mind. As soon as I tried to focus on it though it disappeared.

‘We can talk about that later.’ Rachel said just as Linda was about to speak. She brushed her hair behind her ears and fixed me with another warm smile. ‘Lain, this house is very special to your mum. Don’t you want to stay here like she did?’

‘No!’ I shook my head and glared at her. ‘And it doesn’t matter anyway! I emailed her before and told her what Linda’s been doing to me, and she’s going to call the police! You and Linda are going to be arrested and-’

‘Jake, that email went to me. I to-’ Linda began but I angrily cut her off.

‘No it didn’t! You’re lying!’

‘No she’s not.’ Rachel said and pulled a black iPhone of out her pocket, then tapped around on it. ‘She forwarded it to me before, see? I’ve read it too. It didn’t go to Elaine. It was never going to go to her.’

I stared at the screen and turned bright red, seeing my email in her inbox. It’d been forwarded from what I’d thought to be mum’s email…

‘W-w-w-’ I swallowed painfully and shook my head. ‘That-that doesn’t prove anything! You…you just hacked into her email or something then! You’re a thief!’

‘Jake.’ Linda said heavily and I turned to glare at her. ‘I know this is going to be painful for you to hear but…’

‘But what?’ I demanded when she didn’t continue.

She swallowed and looked me right in the eye. ‘Your mum…she doesn’t want to see you.’

I choked back a cry and angrily stomped my foot again. ‘What! Yes she does! That’s not true! Don’t say things like that!’

Linda looked she was about to cry and put her hands on my shoulders. I could feel them shaking slightly. ‘Do…do you know remember what happened to Ada?’

‘What do you mean?’ I asked shakily, my stomach clenching up in fear. What was going on? ‘When mum left Ada went to stay with our grandparents.’

‘No, she didn’t.’ Rachel said quietly. ‘Your grandparents hated her, remember? They hate anything to do with Elaine.’


‘She…died, Jake.’ Linda said heavily. ‘Your dad made you kill her, remember?’

‘What…’ I laughed softly and wiped away the tears streaming down my face. ‘That’s stupid…I didn’t…I…I…’

Ada screamed in pain and terror as dad pushed down harder on my hand holding the knife, making it rip into her chest. I wasn’t fighting him anymore. I was so scared of him punching me, breaking another finger or cutting me again. I didn’t want to hurt Ada but I d-

‘YOU KILLED MY DAUGHTER YOU SICK FUCK!’ mum screamed at me, her hands wrapped around my neck. She picked me up and slammed me down on the ground again, making my vision blur.

‘M-m-um!’ I choked and tried to grab her hands but I was so weak…

‘Don’t you dare call me that!’ she hissed and slammed on the ground again. ‘You’re a sick little monster just like your fucking father! I should have killed you the moment you came out of me! Why the fuck did you two have to be born together? Were you jealous? Was that wh-’

‘What the hell!’ Linda’s voice cried and she dived into Elaine, trying to throw her off of me. But her hands just tightened around my neck and didn’t let go. ‘Jesus Christ Elaine! Let him go!’

‘No! He needs to feel what Ada felt when he KILLED HER!’ she hissed and-

‘SHUT UP!’ I screamed and slammed my hands into Linda’s chest, catching her by surprise and knocking her backwards. ‘THAT’S NOT REAL! FUCK YOU!’

I jumped past her and ran towards the door, far faster than I had before. The secretary was taken by surprise as well so I was able to easily run past her and out into a rectangle hallway. It was so large that it could easily fit two of Linda’s rooms inside of it, and its floor was a smooth white marble. Two ornate brown doors were on either side of it but I ignored them and ran to the one on the far end of the hall, which was wide open and I could see a large open space through.

‘Wait!’ I heard Rachel shout from behind me. ‘Lain!’

I ran even faster and somehow managed to reach the door without her grabbing me. To my surprise I was on a balcony that circled above a massive dining room in an oval-shape, and across from me was another open door that led into a similar marbled hallway. The balcony was made out of a black wood with naked women carved into it and to my left were two sets of stairs leading down into the dining room.

I began to run for them but I’d spent too long looking around, for a strong hand grabbed my arm and I was spun around to face Rachel, who looked shocked.

‘Lain! Calm down!’ she said and tried to pull me to her, but I kicked at her and tried to tear her hand off.

‘LET GO!’ I swung at her but she grabbed my fist and gently pinned me against the hallway’s side wall. ‘GET OFF ME!’

‘Jake!’ Linda said and I saw her hurrying over, also looking shocked. ‘Please calm down.’

‘No! I didn’t kill her!’ I screamed through a sob. ‘That’s not real! IT’S NOT REAL! YOU’RE LYING!’

‘It’s true, sweetie.’ Linda said and gently pulled Rachel’s hands off of me so she could be in front of me. ‘You went to counseling, remember? In the hospital?’

I shook my head and tried to run past Linda, but my legs were shaking too badly to move now. A cold emptiness grew in my stomach and I almost vomited as the image of a painfully white hospital room appeared in my head. I’d…I had been there…I remembered police talking to me and Linda and a nurse…washing all the blood off my hands and face…



I whimpered and shook my head, collapsing back against the wall. ‘No I didn’t…’

‘You did, but you blocked it all out. We-’

‘WHAT!’ I screamed and pushed my hands against Linda’s sides as my legs nearly gave out. I took a steadying breath and stared up at her through my years. ‘What d-does this have to do with anything! Why are you lying about this? Why am I here?’

‘Because…’ Linda shook her head as tears of her own fell down her face. ‘Because Rachel, your mother and I were going to use Ada to…do things that’d make the world better. And you killed her, so…so we have to use you.’

‘What…’ I said and was suddenly on my knees, all the energy gone from my body. ‘You’re lying…stop saying….didn’t…didn’t kill her…’

‘Lain.’ Rachel said but it sounded so far away.

‘Jake…’ I said and found myself lying on my side. ‘I’m Jake…I…I wanna go home! Linda!’

Linda wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a warm hug. I instinctively hugged her back and rested my head on her shoulder as deep, painful sobs tore through my chest. The hatred was still there but it was so small and pointless…I needed Linda’s warmth more than I’d ever needed it before. I needed someone!

‘It’s okay sweetie…it wasn’t your fault.’ She said thickly and ran her hands down my head. ‘And your mum’s going to forgive you one day, okay? I promise. You doing this is going to make her very happy.’

I pushed deeper into Linda’s warmth. ‘I-I don’t care. I wanna to go home!’

‘This is your home now, remember?’ Linda said softly as she rubbed my hair. ‘But I’m going to visit you all the time, and bring your things here for you. All of your Pristine figurines and DVD’s and everything.’

‘You turned me into a girl.’ I sobbed, clutching her arms.

‘I know. I’m sorry.’ She blinked away tears. ‘But I…I couldn’t handle seeing you like…like you were when you killed Ada. Like your dad. I was selfish but I shouldn’t even have been your carer in the first place. Elaine…she fucked both of us over when she left.'

‘I…’ I blinked tiredly. ‘Don’t understand.’

‘I know.’ She said and kissed me on the top of the head. ‘But it’ll make sense soon. Don’t worry.’

I whimpered and closed my eyes, finally succumbing to the exhaustion. The last thing I remembered before sleep claimed me was Linda looking down at me with a sad smile, her tears dripping onto my hair.

‘Goodnight Lain.’

The End

Thank you for reading! I was trying to leave hints towards some of the things revealed in here in earlier chapters but I don't know if I did a good enough job, or if I made it too obvious. As mentioned above, this is the end of the first part. The second part will be called 'A world for Lain' and it'll be not AS depressing as this one is. It'll be happier and such.
Would you want me to continue this right away? Or never? Or just give it time to breath and post some new things? I did have some new things I was working on but then I came back to this and it took up all of my mind (which is why this came out so fast after the last chapter).
Regardless, thanks for sticking around if you were here from chapter one! I know it was a messy, kind of frantic ride in some places.
BrokenFox (Anna)

Also, my cat jumped onto my keyboard trying to eat a month while I was typing this end note and I had to re-do it all again so...yeah >.> I maybe have left something out in my pussy-rage. But I still love her <3

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