“Honey, can I talk to you in private for a few minutes in the living room?” my mom asked me with a serious look on her face.

I was alarmed. “Okay.” I said rather hesitantly. My mom pointed to a chair in the living room. I sat down and she looked at me intensively for a few seconds.

“What did you and Samantha do and talk about the whole time?” she asked me. I did not like the concerned tone in her voice.

“Well, we talked about school stuff and looked at some girlie fashion magazine. That was a lot of fun.” I said brightening up a bit. The moment I looked at my mom’s face I realized I made a mistake.

“You had fun looking at girlie fashion magazines?” my mom asked me seeming confused.

“Well,….yes!” I said feeling a little braver.

“Okay. How much do you like Samantha? I mean do you like her more than a friend?” she inquired.

“Well, possibly. I am just getting to know her.” I said truthfully.

“Listen, honey. I don’t want to quiz you here for a long time but I am just curious about a few things. You are about to hit puberty and there might be a lot of confusion regarding a lot of issues like girls, boys, love and friendship.” my mom said rambling a bit.

Oh mom, I have never been so clear about anything in my life about wanting to be a girl I thought. I will tell you but not right now.

“May I be excused?” I asked politely but also a little more determined.

My mom sighed and nodded. I left the room feeling a little more confident. I entered my room, closed the door and sat on my bed. How will I tell her? I think I am going to need Mary for help but maybe I should do this alone. Mary always helps me but sometimes I feel I probably should not rely on her this much. Wait a minute! I still need to tell her about my date. I almost forgot. I got my phone out and texted her.

“Hi sis, can I call you?” I texted her. A minute later my phone rang. I picked it up excitedly.

“Hey babe, how was your date?” she asked me with a sweet tone in her voice.

“It was very good. Sammy is a lot of fun. We looked at girlie fashion magazines and giggled a lot.” I said proudly.

“Aw, you two are cute. Did you smooch her?” she asked urgently.

“Well, yes! My first kiss was amazing. I wanted it to go on forever.” I said dreamily. I did not feel like mentioning the little fight Sammy and I had about her sleeping in Mary’s bed.

“I am glad to hear that, babe,” my big sister said. “I am looking forward to coming home soon and spending some time with you. I want to take you to Claire’s Café. Would you like that?” she asked as if she wasn’t sure.

“Are you kidding? A date with my big sis? What is better than that?” I asked cheerfully.

“Then that is set. Listen, babe. I got to go. I will talk to you soon. I love you!” Mary declared.

“Love you too” I said making kissing noises.

I made myself comfortable in bed my heart feeling full of love. I decided to read a book and consider all the things that happened. I read for hours until my mom called me down for supper.

“What’s for dinner?” I inquired.

“Spaghetti and meat balls” my mom told me.

“Love it!” I said excitedly and started setting the table.

A few minutes later dad joined us and we sat down and had supper together. My mom is such a good cook. I always admired that about her.

“How was your date with Sammy, Randy?” my dad wanted to know.

“It was fun. I enjoyed it a lot.” I said a little cautiously.

“Well, that is wonderful. I am glad to hear that. Will you guys hang out more?” he asked me.

“Yes. Most likely.” I responded a little more enthusiastically.

“Randy, I am glad you made a new friend.” my dad smiled at me.

“Thank you!” I responded sincerely.

This short conversation with my dad made me feel better about things but it also made me anxious. How will my dad react when I will tell him that I am a girl and therefore his daughter? Those and similar thoughts were going through my mind when I was sitting in my bed after supper. I took my pantyhose out of my closet and looked at it full of questions and doubt. I loved the silky feel when I put it on. I remembered when I put my first pair on. It was a pair of black sheer hose which I took out of my mom’s closet. I stole it and was not proud of it. I was not sure what force drove me to my parents’ bedroom. I just couldn’t resist. I took the hose to my room and carefully put it on. What a joy this was. I felt tickled on the inside. When I was younger I wore tights which my mom bought for me all the time. I loved to run around in them. When I become older my mom stopped buying them for me. Even as a child I noticed the silky pantyhose the women always wore and felt curious about it. I felt guilty for taking my mom’s hose but the payoff was fantastic. Ever since then I was addicted. I started feeling sleepy when I heard my phone’s texting noise.

“Hey Randy, how are you?” Sammy texted me.

“I am good. A little sleepy. How about you?” I texted back.

“Great. Listen. Would you like to come to my house this weekend? Three of my girlfriends are coming over and we want to just hang out and talk. Would you be interested?” Sammy asked me.

I was excited but waited a few minutes with my response.

“Sure. I have to ask my mom first but it should be okay.” I responded.

“Fantastic. We can chat tomorrow at school.” Sammy texted back.

“Okay Sammy. Good night.” I told her.

This was exciting news but I also felt nervous meeting her friends. I got myself ready for bed and fell asleep fast.

The next morning came fast and I was on my way to school. Sammy and I had brief exchanges at lunch and I met some of her friends a little bit. I was still nervous but meeting them relaxed me.

The rest of the week went by fast also with a lot of school work and many other distractions. Whenever I found some alone time, I liked to hide in my room and put my pantyhose on. I just loved the silky feeling when I slid them over my legs. I sometimes put on one of Mary’s old skirts which I stole out of a bag with some of her old clothes that was destined to be donated to Goodwill. The skirt was black and simple and about knee length. I loved it! I wore it as often as
I could whenever I was by myself. However, my mind was more occupied with my next get together with Sammy and her friends. I got my parents’ permission and Saturday was about to arrive.

I woke up early on Saturday. I considered what I should be wearing. I was thinking about how nice a closet full of skirts and dresses would be and felt quite disappointed when I looked at my closet. I picked a pair of jeans and a nice sweater. My mom would take me to Sammy’s house at one o’ clock. While I only briefly met Sammy’s friends, I felt unsure what to think about them. They seem nice but I decided to be a bit cautious. I went downstairs to find something to eat.

“Good morning, mom’ I said when entering the kitchen.

“Good morning, Randy.” my mom replied with a smile.

“Are you excited about going over to Sammy’s?” she asked me.

“Absolutely. I am sure I will have a good time.” I told her.

“Oh, I am sure about that too. Just be yourself. In other news, I wanted to ask you if you were planning to going to the airport with dad to pick up Mary on Wednesday?” she inquired.

“Yes. Nobody can stop me. I have been missing her a lot. I can’t wait to hug my big sister again.” I said my voice full of determination.

“Aw, your big sister. Your first love!” my mom teased me a bit.

I started blushing. To change the subject, I inquired about breakfast. My mom offered to make scrambled eggs and fried potatoes. I loved the idea. I helped set the table and soon we were ready to eat. The rest of the morning was not very eventful. I read a book, helped my mom with some tasks and tried to get myself ready. Soon my mom and I would get in the car and drive over to Sammy’s place. I wished I would wear a skirt or a dress and pantyhose. I wanted to feel feminine like Sammy and her friends.

Eventually we got in the car and drove to Sammy’s house. The drive was rather short. However, I still enjoyed the winter wonderland outside. The snow reflected the sun light almost blindingly and the trees who were completely leafless looked a little majestic in the distance. I was impressed by this beautiful view but I preferred summer. I closed my eyes and saw my sister Mary and myself running on a beautiful meadow. We were both wearing cute summer dresses. We were giggling and laughing a lot. Two girls, two sisters having fun and feeling love for one another. A bit later I woke up from my day dream and looked at mom. She and I only chit chatted a little. I felt nervous but also excited.

“Listen honey, I want you to have fun today. If you need to be picked up early just text or give me a call.” mom said sounding a little concerned.

“Sure mom. I will be fine.” trying to reassure her and myself.

Soon, mom parked in the driveway. I opened the car door, looked at my mom one more time, waved at her and walked towards the front door.