TG Universes & Series:
All Tucked Up
by Ellen Hayes
Copyright© 2001, 2017 Ellen Hayes & Copyright© 2001, 2017 Elrod
All Rights Reserved to the Characters and Universes of the respective authors.
"I am calmly getting away from someone who transforms people and
"Go faster," Tucker suggested from the backseat. Calmly, of course.
Legalities: Bikini Beach: All Tucked Up -*- Copyright 2001 by Ellen Hayes (I even write my own fanfics, sometimes) & ElrodW.
Any resemblance between the writings in this work, and any actual persons or places, living or dead, are purely coincidental, except when
used for satirical purposes.
This work contains adult situations, adult language, adult concepts, and possibly sex. If you are legally not allowed to read materials
containing such things, then you will be breaking the law by reading this. I am not responsible.
Continuing to read this document, or storing it or reproducing it in any format means that you explicitly affirm that you are legally allowed to possess and read such materials in your city, county/parish, state, and country.
Bikini Beach, its distinctive characters and most else associated with that name, are copyright 2001 by ElrodW, see the homepage
http://www.armchairconservative.com/Elrod (Now defunct) for more details and more stories.
All rights reserved. See the bottom for distribution rights. ~Ellen.
Author's Note: Put this one in the Tuck series, right after Seasons #24, and in the Bikini Beach series sometime before the park expansion. And if you haven't read any of the Bikini Beach series, do so, or this probably won't make any sense. I hate the series-story style in which the same stuff is explained the same way in every single story... so go do your preparatory reading first.
If you haven't read any of the Tuck series stuff, then you will miss about 75% of the humor. =)
This story is rated TV-14, so if you're under 18, you should go get your parents and read the story together.
This story also dings the following bells: sexual innuendo Dialog, foul Language, and maybe Sex and Violence, I forget.
Remember, kids, get your parents and read this story together! Just be prepared to answer their questions. ~Ellen.
Image Credit: Tuck picture purchased and licensed for publishing from 123rf.com ~Sephrena
Bikini Beach: All Tucked Up
[ rated TV-14DL ]
"Miiiiiiiike!" whined Kim from the back seat, and Mike knew that
her need was becoming desperately urgent.
"Jeez, um, hell..." There was nothing that looked suitable,
In desperation, he turned into a large parking lot, flew down the
aisles until he reached buildings, and threw Stupid into Park. "They
gotta have..." But Kim had already bailed out and was trotting towards
Luckily, it wasn't that crowded, so Kim didn't have to wait more
than ten seconds or so, and Mike and Tucker were right behind her, which
was good because Mike suspected she wasn't capable of speaking
"Ungh!" Kim exclaimed, clutching herself.
*I thought not.* "Please," Mike said to the young woman inside the
ticket booth, "she needs to go to the bathroom instantly, we'll pay
whatever," he grimaced. "Just, please-"
"That way," pointed the attendant, and hit a button, and Kim
flashed through the turnstile and towards a door and was gone.
Mike sighed and leaned against the wall. He felt he'd just escaped
an awful fate; that was only partially because of the horrible things
Kim had promised to make happen if he hadn't found a bathroom.
"Sheeew," Tucker agreed.
"Um, could you move your car?" the ticket girl asked.
Mike looked at Tuck who was looking at him. "Um, you go move it,
Tuck, an' I'll stay here."
"'Kay," Tucker shrugged, and walked off.
Mike shook his head violently when he realized he was watching
Tucker's butt swing back and forth. *Jeezus, there's gotta be a way to
stop that,* he sighed, and turned around. "Um, how much do I-"
"Well, I mean, if she's just going to the bathroom, I don't think
it's fair to charge you for a pass," the attendant said, to his relief.
"Great!" Mike agreed, before his own bladder tugged on his spinal
"It's a water park," Tucker said into the radio. "You make the
second turn on the right, it's this BIG parking lot..."
"Alright alright- hey, did you say water park?" Pam asked, and
Tucker could hear cheering 'behind' her from the other girls in the van.
"Oh, fuck," Tucker groaned, because he just KNEW how he was going
to get stuck, or rather what clothes he was going to get stuck IN, if
the girls decided to take some time off at a water park, and he'd been
through six weeks of it already and he was TIRED of it.
Mike had negotiated bathroom privileges for himself and Tucker too,
and so he was taking advantage of it. "Wonder why she told me not to
take- ah," Mike said to himself, seeing that the shower lay between him
and the rest of the park. "What a name, 'Bikini Beach'. Jeez. The
lies some people will tell, just to sell a few more tickets," he sighed
Kim finally sagged against the stall wall as her severely-
overfilled bladder FINALLY emptied itself. *I thought I'd NEVER get
finished,* she thought as she sighed with relief.
"I can't WAIT until Jeff comes out the other end," said a malicious
female voice from somewhere else in the locker room. "He has been SUCH
"What did you do to him?" asked another voice, this one higher-
pitched and curious. Kim's feet automatically retracted from view as
she pulled her purse out of sight and tried to be completely silent.
Eavesdropping in restrooms was naughty, wicked, and damned useful if you
wanted to hear certain things.
"I talked to the ticket girl, Anya," the first voice replied, "and
I got him a SPECIAL ticket..."
Mike's head snapped up, his hand washing forgotten.
Something was deathly wrong.
As his heart began pounding and he started to sweat, he swung
around low, looking for what could have triggered him. It wasn't anyone
looking at him, in fact the only people in the locker room with him were
Tucker had finally walked all the way back to the entrance from the
parking spot he'd finally found - the place was apparently very popular
and very full, very unfortunately - and was just about to open his mouth
to ask the ticket girl where Mike had gone, and if Kim had come out yet,
when both of them came screaming out of the respective locker room
"It they you MIKE!" Kim shrieked.
"RUN! CAR!" Mike instructed, more usefully, and in moments Tucker
was grabbing Kim and helping her over the turnstile and then the three
of them were running for the car.
Something had upset both of them, and Tucker badly wanted to know
what it was, but from the way they were both acting, he'd have to wait a
while for an explanation.
"Grandmother!" Anya shrieked.
"Hey, that's GOTTA be it," Amanda said confidently, pointing at the
sign that said "Bikini Beach" in rather subdued letters. With an arrow.
"Calm down," the old woman called at them as the three of them fell
into Mike's car, and it was apparently a more potent instruction than it
should have been, because Mike did, and so did Kim.
*Marines we are LEAVING!* Mike thought as Stupid cranked and lit
the first time, and he yanked on the gearshift and stomped on the
accelerator. Stupid roared and went backwards, screeched wildly as Mike
stomped on the brakes instead, stopping just short of a Mercedes sedan,
then roared up into its higher registers as Mike showed the old witch -
or whatever she was - what two tons of technomagic could do if properly
"Didn't she say to calm down?" Kim calmly observed as Mike calmly
slowed to forty miles per hour to make a screaming hairpin one-eighty
leading towards the entrance.
"I am calmly getting away from someone who transforms people and
influences thoughts," Mike said back, calmly. "While I still have a
brain and thumbs."
"Go faster," Tucker suggested from the backseat. Calmly, of
Pam had just pulled into the big parking lot and turned, when
Amanda thought she saw Mike's car pulling OUT. "Hey, isn't that-"
"Is this a bathroom stop?" Sabrina said, her tone a demanding one,
and then they all thought it was a good idea.
*It couldn't have been him, could it? He'd have waited for us, or
said something on the radio, right?* Amanda thought.
"Neh neh neh neh neh," Tucker panted, having lost his calm after
about a mile of distance and thirty seconds or so. He felt better.
Some things deserved a good panic, in his opinion.
"Crap," Mike said. "Where's the van? We gotta-"
"TUCKER! What did you DO?" Mike yelled.
"It wasn't my FAULT! Turn around we gotta go back!" Tucker
screamed back at Mike.
"Call 'em call 'em!" Kim shrieked as she grabbed the headset.
Pam slammed the driver's door, making sure she had the keys in her
hand. She was looking forward to anything that didn't involve sitting
down with one leg extended; the rental van did NOT have cruise control.
And hopefully they could talk the other three into some swimming, which
is why they were all bringing swimsuits.
"They're coming back," Anya said, pointing over Grandmother's
shoulder at the source of the tire-squealing noises.
Tucker felt the influence instantly cover him. "Well, shit," he
sighed, calm again. "Steel doesn't work, Mike," he said, referring to
the hoped-for protection of the Faraday-caged metal car.
"Can you shoot her with the crossbow?" came Kim's calm suggestion.
"STOP IT," instructed the witchy-type, and Tucker moaned. *I LIKED
my life, as fucked up as it was-*
"Oh, please," the old woman said scornfully as Mike's car,
apparently no longer under his control, drifted to a calm stop next to
the entrance. Tucker was certain that if it had still been under Mike's
control, it would have bounced her at a prudent seventy MPH. "Don't be
so melodramatic. It's just a bit of limited transformation magic!"
"That's probably what Nimue said to Merlin," Mike shot back.
Unexpectedly, the old woman chuckled.
"I knew it, they got in trouble," Kathy sighed as they saw the car,
and the older, stern-looking woman lecturing the car. "Let's go bail
'em out. Damnit."
"You'd think they could go to the bathroom without causing a fuss,"
"Maybe Tuck...?" Amanda suggested, sounding incredulous.
There was silence for several seconds, then a universal chorus of
'Naaaaaah's filled the air.
"After being at THAT place all summer, she could probably dance
naked and not get caught," Jill opined.
"You're just jealous 'cause she got to play with all that girly
stuff half the summer," Pam teased, and then ran to get away from Jill's
"You WHAT?!" Mike shrieked.
Anya smiled as she put up a minor wall of silence and Grandmother
commenced the usual explanation. She herself was just as glad not to
hear it one more time.
"You what?" Kathy said skeptically, crossing her arms.
"I assure you, it's true," the older woman said.
"Uh huh," Kathy said flatly.
"Oh come on, Mike, please?" Kim begged.
"What is WITH you?" Mike demanded.
She turned red, but leaned forward and whispered into his ear.
"What?" Mike said, stunned.
"Oh no no no no no," Tucker insisted, pushing Mike back and away
from the ticket window. "No. Absolutely-"
"But Kim, she, she," Mike argued, and then he bent down and
said things in Tucker's ear.
"Mike!" Tucker protested when he finished. "You're being led on by
your baser instincts!"
"And you last night and this morning was what demonstration of
higher intellect?" Mike shot back.
The two glared at each other.
Kathy glared at Kim. She knew the other girl had promised
something, and she'd be willing to bet what Kim had promised-
"I will!" said the beet-faced girl. "If he will."
"'HE' won't BE a 'HE', if HE does, WILL he?" Kathy emphasized.
Kim's mouth worked several times soundlessly, then finally a very
small and high-pitched, "No?" came out.
Kathy stopped. "That's part of the problem, isn't it?"
Kim nodded silently, then burst into noisy tears.
"Oh jeeeeez," Kathy complained to the sky. All she'd wanted to do
was go swimming!
"Just until midnight, right?" Mike asked suspiciously.
The old woman was about to say something, but Kim interrupted with
"'Til t-two, in the morning?" Kim said, her face reddening again.
But she squeezed Mike's hand, and there was a promise there...
Mike sighed. "If we're gonna get a room, how about until seven
A.M. tomorrow morning?" Kim nodded agreement, unable to quite look at
him, but her hand was almost crushing his. Mike sighed to himself. *I
can't believe I'm doing this.*
"Nine one-day passes, I can't believe I'm doing this," Tucker
sighed as he passed a large amount of cash through the window.
"You sure all you want is a day pass?" said the girl with an impish
"I'M FU-!" Tucker shrieked in return before Kathy grabbed him by
his mouth and waist and swung him around, to point him at a very upset
Kim and a moderately upset Mike trying to console her.
"Just calm down, Val, or I'll have to tie you in knots," Kathy
whispered into his ear. "And you'll get paid back later, I swear, if we
have to beat it out of Debbie."
Tucker sighed, but finally gave up.
"And could you move your car?"
Mike sighed, and looked at the shower head. "Man, if she hadn't
sworn in her own blood..." He knew what he could do with someone's
blood, if he was lied to, and the old woman had pricked her own finger
without more than a stern glance at him.
He turned the water on.
"I gotta see THIS," Kathy insisted as she hurried through changing.
Luckily, her little camera was waterproof. And the flash was charging,
just in case.
"Oooh," Tucker commented, as he felt some very strange sensations
rolling through his body.
Which seemed unfair to him, since he wasn't even in the shower yet.
It had to be Mike, he realized. "Oh gross."
Mike bent over at the waist, spread his legs, grabbed his ankles,
and watched as his entire pelvis rearranged itself like biological
veritech into a recognizable but unfamiliar configuration. "Oh MAN,"
Mike said in awe.
A male voice at the door caused him to try to stand up, but his
balance had shifted while he was bent double, and he flailed about
wildly before running into the wall, head first. "OW fuck!" he
complained bitterly as he teetered around, in pain and off balance.
The Chinese girl snatched the bikini top from Anya with a snarl,
her other hand holding her head.
Tucker had run to help Mike through the 'other end' of the showers,
figuring that he was the best equipped to handle his blood brother, but
the sight of Mike holding his head in pain had shocked him.
"You HIT him?!" he protested wildly as he prepared to kick the shit
"NO!" Mike commanded, and Tucker lost his balance trying to stop.
Anya turned around to see the girl with the two-toned hair collapse
in a rolling fall across the concrete.
*Teeth... fingers... toes...* They all seemed to be attached, and
Tucker had stopped moving, so he dared open his eyes. The ticket girl
was looking at him, and so was-
"Hey, you look GOOD," Tucker said, surprised.
And Mike did, for a girl, which he wasn't usually. He had stayed
true to his ethnicity, with long thick black hair and the Asiatic eyes
and the thin body and small breasts one would have expected from a
Chinese girl, although he was the same height he had been before. And
rather larger nipples than Tucker remembered Mike having-
"Shut up, and get up," Mike snarled as he tied the bikini string
around his neck.
"You're not on the rag are you?" fell out of Tucker's mouth before
he could stop it.
The kick was not completely unexpected, and Tucker grabbed and
pulled, and suddenly the Chinese girl was on top of him with an elbow.
Anya was sure she'd specified a more female personality overlay on
the Chinese kid, but the two of them were fighting like a couple of boy
*Of course, the other one is already a girl,* Anya realized. *Some
The 'fight' ended suddenly, when the two-toned-hair girl caught the
Chinese one in a scissors lock across the middle and squeezed, and the
Chinese girl slapped the ground after a few seconds. Apparently that
was a surrender signal, because the two untangled from each other and
helped each other up like nothing had happened.
Kim had been the one who suggested Mike 'try' the transformation of
Bikini Beach, but since Valerie had gone over and hadn't come back yet,
and all the screaming, she was having severe second thoughts.
Unfortunately, even Kathy seemed reluctant to go over and explore the
"Go LOOK!" Kim almost screamed at Kathy.
"Oh wait s-s-she-" Kathy stuttered, and pointed behind Kim, and Kim
whirled around, ready for the worst.
There was Val, and there was-
"WHOOOOOO!" Kathy hollered in approval as she took a picture, then
another and another and another. The other girls were screaming too as
they ran towards the two.
"I think they like it, Mike," Tucker grinned. "And, man, you look
HOT!" Black was definitely 'her' color-
"Tuck do you have any idea how humiliating this is?!" Mike snapped.
Tucker turned and stared at Mike.
"That," Mike said slowly, in the higher-pitched voice he'd acquired
in the shower, "was an astonishingly stupid thing to say, wasn't it?"
"Can we go swimming now?" Kathy said after she'd used up the entire
twenty-four exposures on 'Michelle', especially ones of Kim fondling or
kissing the Chinese 'girl'.
The bursts of happy shrieks told her that everyone was in general
"How do you deal with all this damned hair?" Mike complained,
spitting and pulling it out of his mouth.
"Um, here," Pam giggled, pulling a rubber band out of her own hair.
Mike took it and was about to put the mass up into a ponytail, when
he had an idea. "Hrmmmmmmmmph," he said contemplatively as he put the
rubber band in his mouth and pulled at the hair with both hands.
"Oh no," Tucker groaned, but then he started fumbling with the hair
also, apparently having the same idea for Mike's hair that Mike was.
Finally, they got it, and Mike flipped his head and the hair back,
idly wondering how he'd bent over without realizing it-
"SAMURAI BEACH BUNNY!" Tucker screamed, and ran.
Mike's topknot did look a lot like pictures Kathy had seen of
samurai, she realized, as she chuckled and Mike chased Valerie into the
"Hey, a POOL," Kathy said loudly, and as she half expected, the
rest of the girls screamed and scattered in the direction of water and
away from her. "I need some more film," Kathy realized.
"Hey!" Mike looked up. "No fighting!" a pretty lifeguard yelled
"Fighting?" Mike said innocently, and opened his eyes wide. "What
fighting?" Tucker fought to get back to the surface. Mike thought
better of it and pulled Tucker up into the air again. "We're not
fighting, we're... sisters!"
Tucker waved at the lifeguard and smiled.
The two-toned-hair girl waved, but Liz noticed she was breathing
deeply. A scream from the other side distracted Liz's attention for a
moment, and when she turned it back on the two fighting girls, there was
a patch of disturbed water, and then nothing visible at all.
After about thirty seconds, the Chinese girl burst to the surface
and began gasping.
Just as Liz was about to dive into the pool after the two-toned
one, a hand raised up out of the water with two fingers outstretched,
and began moving away from the Chinese girl, as if it was a human
"But what the hell does two fingers mean?" Liz wondered aloud.
*One eighteen, one nineteen, one twenty...* Tucker counted, and
managed to make it to one hundred and thirty-one seconds before his
hindbrain grabbed him and made him surface.
"Good Lord that kid has some lungs," Liz mused, before Two-tone
popped out of the water in a rolling arc like a surfacing whale, even to
the vapor trail as she 'blew' before falling back into the water. "Must
be part dolphin or something."
"You really look good like that," Kim said shyly.
"Like Michelle Yeoh?" her boy/girlfriend suggested, grinning.
"Would you shut UP!" Kim complained. "You look like YOU and YOU
"So do you!" Mike/Michelle said back, as though it was patently
Before Kim could deal with the statement, he/she had reached over
and kissed her.
"Hey, Val?" Julia asked, so Valerie swam over to her. "Did... no,
closer," she insisted, and Val got right next to her. "Did you go
through the showers?" Julia whispered into her ear.
"Did you, did you, is your..."
"Um... I dunno," she said, sounding like she hadn't even considered
the matter, and she stuck a hand into her suit bottom to check. *Oh,
God, I'm glad I didn't ask her that while we were still standing around
on the deck,* Julia thought, looking away in embarrassment.
Valerie exclaimed, "Huh!"
"WHAT?" Julia insisted when Valerie didn't say anything more.
"Um, I'm, uh, I'm, I've got everything I started with," Valerie
"THAT is weird," Julia stated.
Kathy sighed. "Because, I get tired of looking like Xena the
Barbarian's Viking cousin and having everyone scared of me. Just for a
while? Like, until we leave?"
"Let me ask," the younger witch said skeptically.
"Stop!" Kim giggled.
"You really want me to stop?" Michelle asked as she pulled back.
"No!" Kim protested.
"Then DON'T TELL ME TO STOP!" Michelle shrieked, then grabbed her
own throat. "God, I hate this voice."
"I like it?" Kim said half-heartedly. She did like it; she just
wasn't sure it was acceptable to say so.
"You do?" Michelle asked back skeptically.
"Come ON," Tucker insisted, "you gotta come with me!"
Mike laughed, and even the entirely different vocal cords still
sounded like Mike to Tucker. "Why? Afraid you'll get stuck?"
Tucker huffed in annoyance. "Yes! Now get your fat ass up!"
Mike and Tuck were busy looking at Mike, or more precisely Mike's
genitalia, in one of the bathrooms, when a camera flash startled them.
"This is gonna be classic," Kathy stated before she took off running,
followed very closely by Tucker in screaming-banshee mode.
"Damnit," Mike cursed as he desperately struggled to re-tie the
strings on the bathing suit bottom. "I hate this girl shit!"
As he stood back upright, ready to help Tucker chase the large
blonde, he noticed a trio of college babes looking at him, and
half-giggling half-goggling at him.
"What?" he complained.
They laughed out loud at him, even pointing at him.
"Women are pigs," Michelle complained as she flopped back down on
the lounge chair next to Kim.
"So are men," Kim said after a moment's thought.
Michelle looked at her, and Kim looked back, and they laughed
"Hey, wanna try the big-girl stuff?" Pam challenged with a grin on
"What do you mean, 'big girl stuff'?" Mike asked, and Pam pointed
at the slide rides. "Oh. Kim?" Kim shrugged. "Well? Do you want to
"You suck, Mike," Valerie said with great authority, and ran off
towards the tallest one.
"Oh, crap," Mike sighed. "Let's go make sure she doesn't fall off
the stairs or something."
Kathy watched as first Valerie, then Michelle, then Kim, and lastly
Pam and Jill together, came down the pipe and 'landed' in the splash
pool. The only reason Kim still had her boobs covered at the end of
the ride was that her suit was a one-piece, apparently; everyone else
had lost theirs.
It was actually mildly painful to watch Kim explain things to
'Michelle' but Kathy watched anyway, and then the four of them started
fighting over who got which top, except for Valerie who got hers thrown
at her head, which led to-
"Excuse me, you had a special request?"
Kathy turned around, and it was the older witch. "Uh, yeah," Kathy
"You look good in a bandeau top," Kim said, the top in question
having originally belonged to Jill.
Mike sighed. "You'd say I look good in anything that made me look
"I would not!" Kim protested, then ruined her credibility by
"And you have a really nice ass, too," Tucker contributed, but
unlike Kim, Mike felt no qualms at all about grabbing TUCKER and
throwing HIM into the pool.
Unusually, Tucker screamed as he flew back into the water, and he
completely missed the block, too. *I think he spent too long at that
Thompson place, and got soft,* Mike worried. He started to chew his
lip, then stopped at the unusual taste. "Oh God," he sighed. "Makeup
"It's a good job!" Kim commented.
"I'm not debating whether it's a good job or not," Mike said,
although he was glad to know she liked it; she did at least have similar
tastes in what looked good on women, and too much makeup was one thing
they both agreed was Bad.
*This,* Mike realized suddenly, *must be what Tucker has to go
through with Debbie. Poor guy-*
"What?" Kim asked, sounding worried, and Mike realized he'd let his
thoughts control his facial muscles.
"Uh, just thinking about Tuck and Deb, and it made me ill," Mike
"Because it wasn't me and you," Mike said, and put an arm around
her shoulder. Unusually, she put a hand right on his rear end, which
seemed to have had the sensitivity cranked up. "Oooh," Mike said as his
eyes involuntarily fluttered.
"Is it going to hurt?" Kathy asked, suddenly apprehensive.
"Not one bit," the old woman, 'Grandmother', assured her.
"Yeah, and..." Amanda trailed off, apparently staring at something
over Julia's shoulder. "Oh my God..."
Julia turned to look, and saw nothing worthy of the stunned look on
Amanda's face, just a girl walking up-
"HOLY SHIT!" Julia gasped loudly.
Tucker turned around at the exclamation, and saw nothing worth
commenting that strongly on, just another girl, blonde, of average
"Ahhhhh!" he yelled, and then they were all yelling and screaming
at the transformed Kathy.
Kathy looked at the faces of her friends from an angle she rarely
saw them; straight on, instead of from above. "Yeah, she said she could
do it until we leave the park, so it won't last that long..."
"Heyyyyy," Kim said speculatively, and then turned to Mike.
"Oh, don't," Mike begged Kim, his new voice being more effective
than the usual one. "Please? I LIKE you like that?"
"WHY?" Kim asked unbelieving.
Kathy sighed. She liked Kim, but she felt she'd already done her
share to help with Kim's horrible self-image, and she just did not feel
in the mood to put up with a therapy session.
Sabrina apparently had the same idea, because she touched Kathy on
the shoulder, and made a gesture away from Kim and 'Michelle', and
raised her eyebrows.
"If you turned yourself into Debbie," Valerie said slyly, "would it
be cheating?" Julia gave that idea the clout on the ear it deserved.
"Ow!" Valerie complained, holding her head. "I wasn't serious!"
"Hey, why don't we have her change YOU into Debbie," Julia
suggested, "and then you can go fuck yourself!"
Valerie couldn't help laughing at that, even as she held her head.
"This is so weird," Kathy mentioned as she looked around. Now she
could see what a crowd was like from inside again. It had been a while.
"Tell me about it," Sabrina sighed, then looked at Kathy. "Hey, I
bet you could wear my clothes, now."
Kathy made a face. "That'd do a lot of good when all your clothes
are outside the park and the, the stuff stops when I leave." Kathy said
the last as a group of girls were walking past, and she didn't
understand why they started laughing.
"Hey!" a young girl called, and Tucker looked before he could stop
himself. "Your top's about to come off," she said, pointing at his
"Again?" Tucker complained, and checked, and it was indeed.
"Mannnn... Thanks," he said to her as he adjusted it for safety's sake.
"I haven't seen you here before," she said.
"Oh, we, we're on a road trip, just stopped in to have a little
fun," Tucker said to her. The girl was about as flat-chested as he was,
which indicated that she was a lot younger than he was.
"Ahh, yeah, I was at summer camp, and, uh, my sister, Michelle, and
her friends, they came to get me, and I guess get out of town for a few
days," Tucker said casually, leaving out Debbie's sexual motives and all
of the interesting parts about Jane and the last few days. She looked
too young to hear about such things, especially from him. "So they got
me, and I guess we'll end up at home eventually..." They both giggled
at this. *Oh God,* Tucker sighed at himself. *If Mike hears me do that
I'll never hear the end of it.*
"Well, they've got another section of the park, just for younger
'girls'," the girl said. "Have you seen it?"
"Huh? No, where is it?"
"Come on, I'll show you!" she said excitedly, and pulled at
Tucker's arm. "They have a climbing wall and stuff!"
*What the hell,* Tucker decided. Mike was gonna be busy with Kim,
Debbie wasn't here, and he might as well play at rock climbing.
Besides, the girl looked about Trish's age; it wasn't like she was a
baby or anything.
"Ummmmmmichelle?" came a voice, and Mike stopped his study of Kim's
ear and looked around.
"What?" he snapped at Tucker, who was standing there with an
unfamiliar child-girl, who looked rather surprised at something. "I'm
busy!" Kim giggled, and he almost turned back to-
"Um, well, this is Sandy, and we were gonna go over to the Junior
Lifeguard section, over that way," Tucker pointed.
Mike was going to say something about Tucker being well over the
age limit when he realized that, except for height, Tucker didn't look
all that different from Sandy, and that Tuck's curiosity would make him
go and take a look anyway.
"Okay, just don't leave the park," Mike reminded Tucker. "We gotta
leave in a group or we'll never find each other and we'll have to walk
"Yes mother," Tucker sighed dramatically, and turned to Sandy and
the two ran off.
"Do you ever just watch Val-Tuck," Kim said, "and all of a sudden
realize that reality isn't supposed to work like that and you just want
Mike looked at his girlfriend. "You mean, after ten years of
knowing the entire family, that this little bit would somehow stick out
as REALLY unusual? You don't know Tuck real well, then."
Kim was staring at him, and she slowly began shaking her head in
negation. "No way, no way, NOTHING could be THIS weird..."
"Wanna bet on that?" Mike smiled.
"And if you make it to the top of the wall, you can grab a ring and
trade it for ice cream or a coke!"
Tucker chuckled. "No sweat!"
Julia sighed, as she hung back and watched the reactions as Kim and
'Michelle' held hands and walked around. The looks they got were mostly
surprised, sometimes in the extreme, but there were a lot more smiles,
and a LOT more knowing smiles, than she would have expected. And many
of the knowing smiles were from changelings. "Maybe they get a lot of
couples here," she mused to herself, then realized that her father would
love the place.
Now, the question became, whether Julia liked the place enough that
she could spend the next two summers here, because she just knew that
Dad would insist that's where they go for the summer if Julia mentioned
the 'special qualities' of the water here.
"Damn damn damn..."
Tucker waved at Sandy, still five feet below him and the top of the
wall. "One of these rings?" he asked, holding one where she could see
it, just to rub it in.
"How about just inner tubing?" Kim mentioned, and pointed at the
nearest 'Ole Man River' landing and the inner tubes resting on the sand
"That's it?" Michelle asked, looking at her.
Kim shrugged, unable to keep from smiling. "I... I..."
*Good lord, she wants to look at me,* Mike realized, and was glad
once again that his non-European skin didn't blush easily.
"It's just weird," Jill complained as she and Pam waited in line
for the Mountain Runoff.
"Yeah, but..." Pam shrugged. "So?"
"So it's weird!"
"Yeah, but..." Jill sighed and looked around.
"Maybe we could figure out a way to get your family here," Pam
Jill's mouth fell open, and then the two of them were laughing
"I think Jill just figured out what this place would do for her
family," Kathy mentioned to Sabrina, who nodded. "That was an evil
laugh I heard."
"And you know what THAT sounds like, of course, having done more
than your share of evil laughing," Sabrina quipped.
"Me?" Kathy said, her voice hopefully dripping outraged innocence.
"I'm as innocent as little Valerie!"
The two of them cackled, forming a counterpoint to Jill and Pam a
few dozen yards away. Women in between the two groups found good
reasons to go elsewhere.
"Is your sister really a lesbian?" Sandy leaned back and waited,
her eyes glistening with excitement.
"Y-yeah, I guess," Tucker wriggled. "Mmmichelle," he was still
having problems with that name, "and Kim, they've been sort of seeing
each other for, uh, like six or eight months, but I don't think they've
done anything but, you know, dinners and stuff, and I think," he knew,
"some kissing, but that's it." Tucker knew that he'd be about number
three to find out if Mike lost his virginity, after Mike and who- or
whatever was his partner.
"Wow, really? What's it like, having a lesbian for a sister?"
Tucker sighed. *You are such a twit.* He supposed, though, that
it came with hanging around a ten-year old when you were sixteen. "It,
it's sort of like falling off a wall," Tucker said, and feinted a push.
Sandy fell for the feint, and then simply fell, screaming as she went.
"Hot tub," Julia smiled. Amanda smiled back. "And no guys."
Amanda smiled wider. Julia didn't mind sharing a hot tub as long as it
was large enough and no guys were in it, and this one- *These,* she
noted with a further smile, qualified in both respects.
Diane sighed, and Tucker asked, "What's wrong?"
"I can't make it up the wall," she sighed. "So I never get any ice
Tucker shrugged. "Want me to spot you one?"
"Let you have one, buy you one," Tucker explained.
"I'd rather learn how to climb the wall," she sighed again.
"No nude sunbathing," insisted the lifeguard.
"Okay okay," sighed Jill, and she started pulling her top back on.
A thought hit her, though, and she had to ask. "Wait wait wait," she
said, struggling with the stupid spandex. "This park is only for girls,
and so are the condos over there, right?" The lifeguard nodded
affirmation. "So, if no guys are ever gonna see inside here, then what
is the big deal about being topless?"
The lifeguard's mouth opened, but nothing came out.
Tucker swam over as Diane fell off for the fourth time. "I think I
figured out the problem," he told her when she surfaced.
"What?" Diane complained, wiping her eyes.
"You just don't have enough stamina yet," he sighed, "and you run
out of energy about twenty feet up. How old are you?"
"Eleven," she said, being defensive about it just like Tucker knew
she would be. "How old are you?"
"Twelve," Tucker lied.
"That's only a year. So how come you can do it and I can't?"
"I'm a ninja and you're not," Tucker grinned.
"Nothing," Tucker sighed again. "Come on, I'll get you an ice
cream anyway. You did try really hard; you deserve one."
"Four times to the twenty-foot mark is eighty feet," Tucker pointed
out. "If we had a rope or something, we could let you rest and then you
could have made it almost THREE times. Come on!"
Mike and Kim were in line to get cokes when he felt something warm
in a place nothing warm should be at the moment.
"That better be YOUR hand on my butt."
"Why? There's no guys ar-"
Mike twisted and grabbed at the hand, torquing it, and found that
it was attached to Kim. "OW!" she complained. "Let GO!"
"Don't put your hand on my ass," Mike said slowly back to her. "I
don't do it to you!"
Kim sighed, and looked down as she wrapped her arms around herself.
"Kim?" Mike said.
Eventually, she looked at him instead of the ground.
"Come on, Kim, just treat me like you want to be treated," Mike
He was extremely surprised when Kim grabbed him by the hair and
kissed the hell out of him.
"I think this is a bad time to bother them," Tucker said out loud,
as Kim dipped Mike, still kissing him. "However, I have some money in
my purse in my locker, come on..."
He stopped when he realized the other pre-teen girls weren't
following him; they were apparently still staring at Kim and 'Michelle'
going at it while still in line.
"WOULD YOU LESBOS KNOCK IT OFF?! THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!"
Tucker screamed before he thought about it.
He didn't even wait after that; he just started running away,
because he was completely certain that at least Mike would be chasing
him, and it didn't look like Mike had lost any leg length. "Man, my fat
mouth is gonna get me killed one of these days," he panted as he
simulated running for his life.
"You have to wonder about those two sometimes," Amanda commented
lazily to Julia as they both watched a screaming Valerie and a screaming
Michelle run across the grass.
"I'd rather not," Julia decided, and submerged in the warm water
for as long as she felt like standing it. When she surfaced again, she
added, "I just like being in a hot tub without guys making jokes or
having sex in it."
"Oh GROSS!" complained Amanda, making a face. The women-women in
the hot tub with them made similar faces; the two women-men looked
either puzzled or guilty.
"It's worse when it's two guys having sex in the tub, too, by the
way," Julia smiled lazily. "You never know what's going to float to
"SHUT UP!" screamed Amanda as she tried to shove Julia's head
"Hey, wait," Tucker said as he slowed to a stop and Mike approached
him. "Look," he pointed at the two girls trying to drown each other in
one of the hot tubs.
"Isn't that Julia?" Mike observed.
"Yeah, but the other one's Amanda," Tucker said, putting a hand
over his eyes to shield them from the sun. "Should we do something?"
"Ummmmm." The two finally stopped, and both heads appeared. "Nah,"
"Hey, Mike?" Tucker asked, while they were stopped and he wasn't
"How's... I mean, how are you adapting?"
Mike looked back, but didn't say anything for what felt like a long
time. Then he folded and sat down on the ground, motioning to Tucker to
do the same thing.
"I know, I mean, long hair, boobs, no dick," Mike started. "And
there's subtler things, like the hips, and-"
"Yeah, they're twisted different, different range of motion, I
think. Anyway, though, you know where the real difference is, that I
notice?" Tucker shook his head. "Kim."
"You saw what she was doing... SHE kissed ME, man." Mike looked
back towards her. "She wouldn't have done that yesterday. She's doing
stuff like patting me on the butt and stuff, too. Like she can't quite
keep her hands off me or something-"
"No lie, I swear," he held up his hand, "I mean, I know it doesn't
sound like Kim, but it's, it's completely different." Mike shrugged,
which looked the same in this body as it usually did. "I thought she
might be something like this, but I didn't think it'd change this much."
"What about you, though?" Tucker asked again. "It fucked ME up,
when Deb took me out, the first couple of times-"
"First couple of DOZEN times?" Mike corrected, grinning slightly.
"Whatever," Tucker sneered back.
"Yeah," Mike sighed, serious again. "No, I mean..." He pointed
around. "It might be different if this was the real world, but this is
NOT the real world." Tucker looked around, and he could kind of see
what Mike meant.
"No guys, no girls primping for guys, no girls worrying about guys
seeing them," Mike emphasized. "This is sort of..." He chuckled.
"It's sort of like this big outdoor girl's bathroom, ya know?"
Tuck had to laugh. "Yeah, it is..."
"So, I mean, it's like camouflage," Mike said, waving a hand over
himself. "Besides, I'm same height, same weight almost, a little
thinner but that compensates for other places-"
"Like that butt?"
"Like the butt," Mike allowed as he got off it. Tuck got up with
him. "It's not like Kathy; I'm just about the same as I was when I went
Tucker had to nod agreement.
Pause, as the wind ruffled their hair and you could just hear the
sounds of relatively happy, recreating people.
Then Mike slapped Tucker's butt and shrieked, "TAG YOU'RE IT!"
as he ran off.
"You WHORE!" Tucker complained, and then began trying to catch
Mike. Tuck chased him steadily, not quite either gaining or losing
appreciative range, all the way back to the concessions stand, where Kim
and Sandy and Diane and Frances were all waiting for them to come back.
"Hey!" Tucker called and waved.
"What do you think they were talking about?" Julia idly asked.
"Kim," Amanda said like she knew.
Amanda just grinned, and slid back into the warm water. "Trust me,
it was about Kim."
"Michelle?" Tucker asked.
"Nandekka?" Mike snapped, irritated. HE hadn't bothered TUCK this
much when he was with Debbie last night-
"Kurite moju trubku!" Tucker called, flipping the skirt of his
swimsuit at Mike.
"Yoku iu-yo!" Mike gasped.
"What?" Tucker said, now puzzled. "Did I say it wrong?"
"GET OUT OF HERE!" Mike screamed.
"What did you SAY?" Sandy demanded.
Tucker leaned over and whispered the English translation in her
ear. A gasp told him she got it. "I think that's what I said.
Anyway," Tucker continued, "weren't we getting ice cream? Wait, I gotta
get money first. Locker room-"
"What did she say?" the other two wanted to know.
"What did she say?" Kim wanted to know.
"Something unpardonably rude," Michelle answered, still looking
"And when did you learn to speak Japanese?"
"Huh?" That got Michelle's attention. "I've been watching anime
for a long time; we sort of picked it up there."
"Oh, I thought maybe the showers..." Michelle was shaking her
head, causing her hair to shift, and Kim lost herself in watching it.
"Gold Rush? Oh, man, that one looks killer..." Kathy chewed her
lip. She wasn't sure this smaller body could absorb the punishment her
normal one could...
"Come on!" Sabrina enticed.
Tucker looked up as a rather annoyed, and topless, Kathy came
stomping into the locker room.
He would have been irked if someone had pointed out he'd noticed
her mood first and not her nude breasts.
"Kath, what's up?"
"The stupid ride ate my top is what's up, or not up as the case may
be," she sighed, and ran a hand through her hair. "We couldn't find it
in the pool or the slide. And now I have to go out and get something
else to wear, and as soon as I do the enchantment goes off and I'm back
to normal." She snorted in disgust at the thought.
"Why not ask the ticket girl? She came up with a top for my
'sister' back there," Tucker jerked a thumb in the general direction of
park. "Maybe she could whistle you up another one."
"Yeah but it won't be the right size..." Kathy trailed off as she
realized, apparently, that she was eye-to-eye with Tucker without having
to hold him off the floor, for once. And what that meant.
Without another word, Kathy went to her locker, got a T shirt, and
put it on, before she left through the other end to go talk to the
"I must be the only one here with brains," Tucker decided, before
opening his locker and getting a hundred dollars and a ziplock bag out
of his satchel, then snagging his sunglasses too while he was looking at
"You have some WEIRD friends," Sandy said, staring after Kathy.
Tucker laughed. "You don't even KNOW the weird ones..."
"Ya know," Jill observed quietly in Pam's ear, "before Debbie, I
sort of knew Tucker... he's changed a lot."
"No shit," Pam giggled, and pointed, which Jill slapped down; she
didn't want to attract Tucker's attention.
The Tucker in question was engaged in rubbing sunscreen over a
bikini-clad girl who looked even younger than Valerie looked, which
(without makeup and/or fake tits) was very young-looking indeed, and two
other girls were doing the same thing right next to Valerie.
"No girl would have stood still for that from her two years ago,"
"Maybe Val's just growing up?" Pam suggested.
"And out," Jill demonstrated with her hands.
"What do you mean?"
Tucker looked up at the call, and saw Jill and Pam coming close.
"Hey, whatsup?" he said, smiling.
"C'mere, we wanted to look at something," Jill said, and motioned
at the locker room.
Pam burst into embarrassed giggling. That was, Tucker realized, a
bad sign. "Shut up, Pam," Jill snapped, then turned back to Tuck.
"I'll bribe you with ice cream?"
"I HAVE ice cream money," Tucker sighed.
"Come on, please?" Jill and Pam whined.
Jill looked closely at Tucker's, or Valerie's, chest, which was
bulging like hers had a few years ago, and like no guys' chest she'd
ever seen. "You're gonna need to start wearing a bra pretty soon," Jill
Valerie sighed, and sat down on the bench. "I know..."
"I don't think I'll ever start growing," sighed one of Valerie's
little friends in counterpoint as she also sat down on the bench.
"No, you will," Jill assured her. "You'll just realize it, one
"When you jump off something like the stairs and realize how much
it hurts," Valerie sighed.
"That is WHEN you need a bra, Val," Jill stated.
"I KNOW!" Valerie complained.
"I got my first bra a couple of months ago," commented another of
Valerie's group, which earned her glares from everyone else. "What?"
Pam hurried back to the entrance with Valerie's big radio, hoping
she wouldn't be too late to look at Val's chest. It wasn't that she
wanted to make fun of her friend; she did, however, have a great amount
of curiosity over what Valerie's biology was doing.
"Why did they all want to look at you?" Sandy asked Tuck as they
left, Tucker now lugging the forty-pound sound system and a twelve pack
of CD's from his satchel.
"Because," Tucker wheezed, "I was starting to grow when I left, and
they wanted to see how far I'd gotten at camp. I think," he huffed,
"they've been taking bets on how long I'd put off wearing a bra." That
wasn't true, as far as he knew, but as he examined what he'd lied, he
realized it sounded plausible. Perhaps too plausible-
"Why?" Diane gasped, sounding scandalized. "I can't WAIT and you
don't want to?!" The other girls leaned in to listen.
"It's different..." Tucker sighed. "I mean, I do a lot of active
stuff, and I don't want to have to deal with having to always wear a bra
so I don't pull my own tits off."
Then, since he had to wait for the girls to stop laughing and stand
up again, he set the radio down, and sat next to it. "At least I got my
sunglasses," he said, pulling them out of the proto-cleavage on his suit
and flicking them open. "Rhonda Snord," he commented to himself,
thinking of some cover art Mike had put on his bedroom wall. "I oughta
get a T shirt like that..."
The two-colored-hair girl ran towards Anya, bursting with some sort
of idea, she could tell. She was a little surprised to feel herself
flinch as the girl spotted her and waved excitedly.
"Right across here," Tucker pointed to the tit end of his bathing
suit, "have it say, 'I went to Bikini Beach and all I got was this' in
one line of printing. And sort of let people guess what it's referring
"About five," Sabrina said, looking at her watch. "Why?"
"I'm kinda starting to get hungry," Kathy admitted.
"We can eat here," Sabrina pointed out.
Kathy sighed. "Did you see the way Kim's been looking at
"Yeah, so?" Sabrina used a finger to indicate Kim's apparent level
of mental stability.
Kathy agreed with the assessment, but that was a secondary issue.
"So, what do you bet the chances are, of us NOT taking Michelle, getting
her all dressed up, and then flaunting her in front of guys at some real
restaurant? Like Deb does with Val whenever she gets the chance?"
Sabrina thought, then sighed, "Oh, crap. Kim does that with Jill."
"Or tries to. And she's gonna do it with Michelle," Kathy agreed.
"So what do we do?"
"We could drown one or both of them," Kathy mentioned, just to get
the possibility out of the way at the beginning.
Eventually, Sabrina said, "The lifeguards would complain," and they
both nodded. "Get something to eat without them? We could leave them,
since they've got Mike's car."
Kathy thought about it, then shook her head. "Pam's been awake all
day, like all of us, and I don't think anyone's gonna want to be driving
at three in the morning. Not after half a day here. So, we're gonna
have to get a room and sleep."
"And those two are gonna be-"
"Yeah yeah I know," Kathy sighed. "And I'd rather not think about
it, at all."
"We gotta," Sabrina mentioned, "make sure they get a separate
room." She looked over Kathy's shoulder, and waved - at Pam and Jill,
Kathy saw when she looked.
"Finally," Diane smiled as she dug into the dish of ice cream.
Tucker watched her, and it certainly seemed like she was enjoying
it, which was nice, since he'd paid for it. He liked it when his
friends were happy.
"Stop bothering me," Mike instructed Kim. "This takes some
concentration." He raked the pins for what seemed like forever, and
finally got them aligned, as proved by the lock turning.
"Excuse me?" Liz looked over and down, at four of the girls that
had come in with the Chinese one and the two-colored-hair one. "Do you
live around here?"
"Where's a good place to eat around here? We're from outta town."
Added a different one, "Someplace nice."
"So if you're a ninja, where's all your knives and stars and
stuff?" Diane sneered at him.
"I left them in the last batch of nosy girls I ran into, that's why
I had to leave camp early," Tucker lied enthusiastically.
"Oh right," laughed Sandy. "You are not!"
"Sommmmmmph..." *Ah, that's what she wanted to do,* Mike thought
happily. *I can live with this.* Kissing Kim wasn't any better with a
woman's body, but Kim sure seemed more enthusiastic about it.
Tucker set up the CD player and paused it. "Now, when I tell you,
hit play, right?"
Sandy nodded. "So what's the big deal?"
"Trust me," Tucker said, concentrating on controlling her mind,
which might actually work one of these days. "Just wait for me to tell
you to press play, okay?"
"Okay," Sandy shrugged.
Tucker wanted to sigh, but he figured he'd just do it. The problem
with human telepathy was that it was so unreliable, you could never tell
if you got it right or not.
"Getting into trouble," suggested Kathy, and a couple of the girls
laughed, but not very heartily. It was too easy to remember both where
she'd been all summer, and what had happened a couple of days ago.
"I think she was hanging with some younger girls," Jill commented.
"Don't they have a part of the park for them?" Sabrina reminded
Tucker yelled down, "Now!"
Kathy heard a semi-familiar chord come from the direction Valerie
had shrieked, and she turned - as did most of the girls in the area - in
time to see Valerie, on top of a wall next to a pool, twist around in
two dance steps, scream "KICKIT!" as she launched herself into a jump
kick out into empty space, and then fold up just in time to plunge deep
into the water.
All to the thump of Beastie Boys.
"I'm starting to hate that album," Kathy decided, as a lot of
"Well, we know where she's gonna be for a while," Pam sighed.
"Anyone know where Julia and Amanda ended up?"
"You have to pick the right soundtrack," Tucker asserted, and was
surprised when the girls laughed at him. "What, you think I'm kidding?"
"Oh PLEASE!" laughed Frances. "'The right soundtrack'?" She
laughed hard enough that Tucker though about assisting her back into the
pool, headfirst, but he had a feeling he'd get in trouble.
"It's TRUE!" he asserted instead. "It's like aerobics or dancing!"
"Riiiiight," all three of them chorused.
"Okay, get up!" Tucker dared them, doing so himself.
Julia snorted, embarrassingly, as she woke up and sat up
simultaneously after Jill poked her in the shoulder. "What?"
"It's getting about that time, for food," Jill said, pretending she
wasn't amused by the noise Julia had made. Julia was grateful for the
attempt. "And when was the last time you put on sunscreen?"
"Uh, what time is it now?" *Uh oh, that's a bad question to ask
when you're talking about sunscreen.* Jill's face looked like she felt;
not happy with the question at all.
"I said no," repeated the lifeguard.
"Hey, they have a volleyball court," Diane mentioned.
"Like, sand?" Tucker confirmed. "Oooh, nice and soft."
"Maybe in a few minutes," Jill sighed as the body-temperature water
soothed her muscles.
"We're getting old," Kathy groaned.
"Shut up, bitch," suggested Pam.
"Yeah, shut up...." mumbled Sabrina. Jill looked over at Sabrina,
and she looked like she was going to sleep.
"Mmmmmmmm," Kim moaned in Michelle's ever-so-sexy ear.
Tucker finished drawing the rough circle in the sand, then scuttled
over to the sound system and pressed Play.
"Don't we have to bow or something?" Diane snickered.
"Okay, you want to do it that way," Tucker smiled, and bowed.
As Diane bowed in return, some technoramblings he'd recorded
started up at 135 beats a minute, and he took a quick lunge towards
Diane and body-checked her outside the ring, evading her grasping hands.
"Lesson one: fighting fair is for guys!"
He then turned and grabbed Frances and kicked her lightly, then he
grabbed an arm and pulled her around in front of Sandy, which tripped
both girls; Tucker managed to let go and pull back just in time, and the
two girls also fell to the ground.
"Lesson two: teamwork is essential, otherwise you're just a mob,
Tucker smirked, and did a backwards handstand just to be annoying.
Kathy blinked as Valerie almost literally jumped into her hands,
but she shrugged and grabbed Valerie and heaved, managing to get her
outside the ring with a lot more effort than Kathy was expecting.
"Lesson three, always check behind you," Kathy announced, to
Tucker pulled himself upright with vengeance on his mind. "Hey
Kath! You know what your problem is?"
"What?" she said skeptically, readying herself.
"You've got a five four body, and six two reflexes," Tucker
Two beats worth of smirking, which allowed Kathy just enough time
to realize the trouble she was in, and he was slashing at her face with
a hand which she did block and then he twisted into a back kick which
she did not block, and grunted at, and as she kicked back at him Tucker
grabbed and pushed and hooked her other leg and heaved, and out she went
with a doglike yelp.
"And number four, it ain't over 'til it's over!"
As Kathy pulled herself out of the sand, there was a familiar glint
in her eye. "Now I'm going to hurt you," she stated.
"Feets don't FAIL me now!" Tucker shrieked for the pulse of
adrenaline, and took off in the direction of Away.
"I RECOGNIZE that scream," Julia repeated, and she slowed just
short of the intersection.
Within moments, the girl who had been imitating the early Daffy
Duck's "Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!" came running past, and the
bicolored hair was unmistakable. Kathy turned out to be the one
"I told you-"
"Shut up, Julia," Pam giggled.
"You think Kathy'll catch her?" Amanda wondered sleepily.
They thought about that for a few moments.
"With those short legs she's got now?" Sabrina questioned.
"Yeah, but Kathy's GOOD," Pam said back. "Really high-end
aerobic capacity, I mean."
"No way," Sabrina asserted. "Not with those legs."
When he realized he'd run up a dead end, Tucker idly screamed,
"She's going to kill me!" but unusually, unlike most of the times when
his sister was chasing him, the women in his way actually got out of the
way. *I can deal with this,* he decided, and he ran up to the start of
the Tahiti Twister and dove straight into the pipe.
"Ha!" Kathy shrieked in triumph and dove after Valerie.
"I said, no horseplay!" Liz yelled.
"Who's playing? I was going to drown her!" the dark-blonde girl
"Yeah right," Liz snorted to herself, remembering Two-tone's
endurance from earlier, and she was about to say something else when the
blonde shrieked and fell into the water.
"Hoo-hoogh," gurgled Two-tone as she had a second on the surface
before the other girl pulled her down again.
"Give me that BACK!" Tucker screamed at Kathy, who was dancing
around on the shore waving his bathing suit top, while he crouched in
the splashdown pool holding his arms over his nipples.
"Ya ha ha!" Kathy sang in triumph. "Ya ha ha!"
Jill saw Valerie concentrate, then yell in this weird singsong
voice, "Hou ni ma de bi!"
"Glack," said the old woman who had appeared from somewhere, and
when Jill turned to look, she looked extremely shocked.
*Oh, guess I said it right,* Tucker decided as he dove for mud,
metaphorically speaking. *Cool!*
On the other hand, he now had to stay under until she lost interest
in replying to what he'd just said.
"Uh huh, you just wish, you little rat," Grandmother said, staring
at the pool with her arms crossed.
*...eighty one, eighty two, eighty three...*
"One fourteen, one fifteen, one sixteen," Kathy counted, wondering
how long Valerie could possibly hold her breath, especially with her
"Alright, if you come up right now you won't be in trouble,"
Grandmother relented, and a second later Valerie shot to the surface
with a spew of spray. "But don't say things like that around nice
ladies!" Grandmother insisted, shaking a finger at Valerie.
*I MUST've said it right,* Tucker decided happily, failing to
notice, wonder, or worry how he could have heard her while he was
"Damn, two and a half minutes," Kathy said in amazement.
"You gonna give her her top back?" Jill reminded her.
"Wow," Tucker said to himself, "that is-ooof! Yn BFF!" he tried to
yell through the wet clinging suit that had wrapped around his face.
Grandmother shook her head.
"So did that count as catching her or not?" Sabrina wanted to know.
"Yes," Grandmother decided, when it seemed a decision was being
"Ha!" Pam crowed. "Pay up, ho!"
Sabrina complained, "Mannnnnnn," in a tired sigh, as she dug into
her suit and pulled out some quarters.
"You're insane," Sandy asserted as Tucker retied his top around his
neck for hopefully the last time that day.
"I know!" Tucker smiled. "Makes life fun that way. When are you
"My mom's picking us up at five thirty, what time i- AHHH!" Sandy
shrieked, and yanked at Valerie's arm before realizing that Valerie
wasn't going home with her.
"Oh, is it five thirty already?" Tucker rhetorically asked the
empty air, then followed the three panicking girls at a more leisurely
pace, carrying his radio with him.
"I had my keys!" Pam insisted, looking around the benches as if
she'd somehow dropped them without noticing.
"The keys to the van?"
"Oh, no," Tucker moaned, disgusted.
As Pam came running out of the locker room, Tucker stopped her.
"Mike and Kim have your keys," he said.
"What?" she questioned as she stopped. "How? I locked 'em in my
Tucker snorted contemptuously at the pathetic locks. "Yeah. But
they got the keys anyway." He didn't want to say-
"So what are they doing?"
Tucker sighed again.
"Oh, no," Pam sighed back in disgust, guessing what Tucker already
knew. "Not on the seats?"
Tucker shrugged. "I didn't actually look, but that's where they
are, I guarantee it."
"I dunno, Kim, I mean..." Mike thought about it. "We're gonna get
a hotel room tonight, right? Let's wait until then."
"Why?" Kim asked, looking immensely puzzled.
"'Cause, Deb and Tuck did it that way, and didn't Deb say how much
better it was in a bed instead of a car or on a couch or something
improvised?" He knew Tucker had said it, over and over and-
"Well..." Kim sighed.
"And then we can do it all night long," Mike pointed out, and they
both giggled. *Man, if Tuck heard me do that I'd never hear the end of
"So what does 'Number Four Ess' mean?" There was nothing else on
the CD, just a carefully handwritten '#4-S' on one side of the silver
"Like I know? Just put it in," Sandy suggested. Diane did, and
pressed Play, and they waited.
"Bimp, bomp, bump," thudded the door as Tucker started to pull on
"Oh no," Tucker said. *They switched CD's on me-*
"Ohcomeon!" Pam said excitedly, grabbing his arm.
*What the hell,* Tucker decided instantly. His blood brother had
already been turned into a girl in front of all his other friends; how
embarrassing could this be?
"B-b'b-b'baaaaaby," they tuned to each other as Pam opened the
"COME ON GIRLS!" Pam shrieked.
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?" Tucker sang back.
"Oh no," chuckled Kathy, as the two dark-haired girls danced into
the room with each other.
"'CAUSE I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!" they both yelled, and Pam
jumped up on a bench as Valerie grabbed one of the children she'd met.
Julia's added, "And it goes something like this!" from behind
startled her, and Kathy turned around just in time to watch Julia do
some kind of body movement from a musical and seriously crank up her own
"DON'T GO FOR SECOND BEST, BAY-BEE, PUT YOUR LOVER TO THE TEST!"
Tucker grinned at Sandy as she tried to fall down with laughter, as
he held her hands and danced with her. The other girls had hands over
their faces, as if they could avoid being recognized as having
associated with his lunatic self, as they screamed in amusement or
disgust or whatever it was that pre-teen girls screamed in.
A tap on his shoulder got his attention, and then Julia was
grabbing his shoulders and positioning him and swaying him in time to
the music, and so he did what she wanted, and they ended up back to back
singing so fiercely that Tucker could feel her in his own body.
"They're SINGING, Grandmother, I can't make 'em quiet like I can
with the radios!" Anya complained.
"Singing," Anya repeated, feeling a bit smug at the look on
he might re-gret it!" Tucker sang, waving Sandy's elbows in proper
time from behind her, and causing all three of the younger girls to go
into complete socio-nervous collapse.
*Debbie will pay me serious money for THESE photos,* Kathy grinned
to herself as she fired shot after shot as quickly as her flash would
recharge, of Valerie having some sort of musical seizure along with
Julia, and prancing around the women's locker room like they were on
stage for a music video or something.
"It's a hunggerrrrrrrr," the two girls in the lead crooned before
the saxophone overwhelmed them.
"TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT!" the two of them thundered along with the
"IIIIIIII DON'T WANNA LET YOU GO
'TIL YOU SEE THE LIGHT!"
Grandmother had seen many things at Bikini Beach over the years,
but this was completely new.
*Julia kicks ass,* Tucker decided, mostly on the basis of her
knowing the lyrics to four of his favorite ancient-singalongs in a row.
"Do you think they've noticed we're not there yet?" Kim purred into
"I hope not," he replied sincerely.
"Mmmmmm hmmm, somethin's comin' over,
mmmmmm hmmm, somethin's comin' over,
mmmmmm hmmm, somethin's comin' over me,
My baby's got a secret," all the girls Valerie had collected, as
well as Julia and Pam, sang softly as they sat on the ground around the
large portable radio.
"Now they're being calm," Anya commented, biting her lip as she
looked at the collection of girls.
"'Calm before the storm'? Don't worry, child, they're tired from
an exciting day, and they actually are calming down a bit." Anya looked
over, and Grandmother looked like SHE wasn't worried.
"So what are you doing?" Sandy asked, as Tucker lay on the ground
and breathed enthusiastically. He hadn't been able to do much of that
while singing, and choir had taught him to breathe when he had the
"We're waiting," Tucker replied.
Tucker sat up and looked at her. "We're on a road trip, remember?
We got a big van. That's holding all the luggage. Got that?"
Sandy gave him a 'No, YOU are the stupid one, remember?' look,
which he ignored.
"Okay, remember Michelle, my sister, and Kim?"
The girls nodded.
"Do you see them around?"
They looked around.
"No, you don't," Tucker answered. "Can you guess why, and what
that might have to do with a van?"
"What?" Frances asked.
Tucker put a hand over his face. *I can't say that out loud to an
eleven year old, can I? I'll go to jail!*
A gasp, and some elbow-rib-interface noises, made him peek, and the
sickened and horrified expressions on their faces told Tucker that they
had gotten the idea from each other and therefore he wasn't to blame.
"Sheeeew," he breathed in relief.
"You're just gonna LET them..." Diane trailed off in horror.
"What, I should stop 'em? Who do you think taught me all my ninja
powers?" Tucker smirked. "YOU go stop 'em, and I'll tell your moms what
happened and why you won't be coming home ever again."
"They wouldn..." Frances trailed off with an uncertain glance
towards the parking lot.
"Don't bet on it," Tucker said out loud for everyone's benefit.
"Michelle gets REALLY bitchy when her romance is interrupted."
"Oh, like you don't?" pointed Sabrina, and laughed.
"WHAT?!" shrieked the three kids in disbelief.
"I WISH!" Tucker said earnestly, projecting how much he wanted
Debbie to be here. She failed to fall into his lap, which didn't
surprise him any; it was just disappointing.
"So Val's the only one, that has nice clothes that aren't currently
locked in the van, along with the lovebirds," Kathy confirmed.
"Wasn't she going home?" Amanda said, sounding scandalized. "Why
was she taking nice stuff HOME?"
Kathy glared at her. "Maybe Val was going out for her parents'
anniversary? Who KNOWS? But she's the only one."
"Maybe we should get something, is there a mall around here?"
"Oh, right, you of all people desperately needs more clothing,"
Kathy groaned, and parried Sabrina's slaps with slaps of her own.
"Oh, my mom's here," sighed Sandy as she got up. Later than
expected, Tucker noticed. "Are you gonna be here tomorrow?" Sandy asked
as she turned around.
"I hope not," Tucker said as he got up, "but I'm really glad I met
you guys!" He opened his arms, and she hugged him, as did the other
two. "Hey, hold... do any of you have a computer at home?" Tucker
asked, fishing a pen and pad out of his satchel. As Diane nodded,
Tucker said, "Email me, here's my address," as he hastily block-printed
out the path for the dummy mailbox he'd set up at Doug's house.
Diane took it and then the girls gave him another round of hugs,
and then they ran off to the waiting car, but they waved, and Tucker
waved back to them, until they disappeared out of the parking lot.
"Another few broken hearts, eh Val?" taunted Julia as she
lolled back on the warm pavement. "A girl in every amusement park from
here to Californ-eye-ay, 'ey? But they're just notches in your purse
strap, to you..."
Tucker laughed until he fell over, but managed to squeal out, "Oh
GOD I am like SUCH a STUD!"
Kim half-moaned, half-sighed with lazy pleasure as she cuddled
against Michelle. *I can't believe she agreed to do this... but I am so
glad she did...*
Valerie shot past, her legs entwining as she skated backwards as
hard as she could manage. "So when the night falls... my lonely heart
calls!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, competing with the stereo.
She jumped into a reverse, then another one-
"Ohhhhhhhh, I wanna dance with somebody!
I wanna feel the heat with some body!
Yeeeeeah, I wanna dance with some body,
with some body who loves me!"
"She is completely insane," Kathy said to herself as she took a
couple more shots. "Maybe she DID get some of the water after all."
"What IS she doing?" Pam asked as Valerie did a double-bounce and
slid around a car.
"All she said was, 'warming up'."
After several seconds, Pam observed, "That sounds scary."
"S'why I got more film; Deb'll want to know how she bit the big
one." And, knowing Valerie, it would be catastrophic-
"Right into a car, I bet," Pam predicted.
"Bet?" Kathy had learned which way to bet involving Valerie, and
dying by running into a car (or vice versa) would be WAY too simple.
"It's six o'clock," Amanda pointed out.
Kathy added emphatically, "And I am STARVING."
"Now is the time," Sabrina nodded, and they all looked into the
There was a tapping on the door of the van that woke both of them
"Candygram!" came Valerie's voice from outside.
"WRONG ADDRESS!" Kim yelled.
"What did she say?" Michelle asked Kim.
There was more tapping. "UNICEF!" and a scattering of laughter
"WE GAVE ALREADY!" Kim replied. "AT THE OFFICE!"
"What?" complained Michelle, apparently baffled.
More tapping. "Girl scouts!"
Tucker tried to think of another one.
However, as he stood there, fingertips against the van's side, he
felt it rock on the suspension a couple of times, and then shift a
little more, back towards him-
"SNAPSHOT!" Tucker yelled and pulled his fingers into gun-shapes
and jumped back, in time to catch Mike, still in a girl's body, about to
pour a coke on his head from the top of the van's roof. "BANG!"
"Damnit!" Mike cursed.
"HA! You SUCK!" Tucker laughed, and then took off skating as Mike
rolled off the roof of the van to chase him.
Mike sighed as the uncatchable Tucker zoomed off into the sunset,
relatively speaking. Then he tapped two of the manicured fingers on the
van's side door. "My lady, I think our presence is requested
A few seconds later, she unlocked and opened the door and stepped
out, looking much more beautiful than she had a right to-
"Get outta the damn way already!" cursed Sabrina as she pushed past
the two. "Where's the keys?"
"I'll get your stuff outta the other locker, 'kay?" Tucker offered
to Mike, as Kim sat her bewildered boyfriend on the bench and started
handing him clothing.
"Yeah thanks-" Mike got out before Kim cut him off.
Tucker left before he saw something really embarrassing, like was
going to happen in moments. He recognized the mood Kim was in.
"Kids today," Grandmother sighed as Valerie skated across the foyer
to the men's locker room.
Valerie was wearing, in addition to the inline skates and the
requisite safety armor and helmet (showing, Grandmother had to admit, a
welcome bit of prudence) a pair of black bike shorts under a miniskirt
that flared every time she moved, a New York Yankees baseball cap turned
backwards under the helmet, sunglasses, and a tank top which proclaimed
in bold black letters, 'GRRLZ R KEWL'.
"TUCKER!" Mike screamed as Kim stuck her tongue in his-
Seconds later, the door popped open and there was Tucker, looking
"Chaperone!" Mike begged. "She's molesting me!"
Tucker sighed, like Mike had just asked him to plow the fields, and
skate-stepped into the locker room. "I am NOT!" Kim protested.
"You had your tongue up my-"
Tucker put his fingers in his ears and turned away. There were
things he did not want to see live and uncensored. Anything involving a
transformed Mike and a horny Kim fell into that category.
He did notice, though, that the other women in the changing room
flinched or stood up suddenly or otherwise indicated surprise when Mike
finished his statement, which only told Tucker he'd made the right
Kathy looked over at the two, and sighed, before putting down her
hairbrush and walking over. "Kim?"
"Kim," Kathy explained slowly, "we were planning on getting rooms
at a hotel, so you two can make out all night long THERE, but let's get
dressed now, please? I'm very hungry."
Kathy hungry was usually a bad situation, and it appeared that Kim
remembered that, because she turned back to Michelle hurriedly. Kathy
let go a breath of relief.
"Because I'm as good at makeup as any of you, especially after this
summer!" Tucker asserted. "Now sod off!"
"Tuck?" asked Mike.
"Whazzat?" Tucker asked his friend, who upon observation really had
a prettier face than he'd really bel-
"You're not gonna do something weird, are you?" Mike asked, looking
"Goddamnit would you STOP with that Gothic shit?!" Mike complained
bitterly as he saw what Tucker was pulling out of someone's bag for
eyeshadow, or... something...
"Then maybe you should have borrowed something to wear besides a
black dress!" Tucker shot back. "Trust me, this is perfect!"
"It really does look good, 'Chelle," Jill nodded.
"If you like Gothic," Sabrina sighed.
"I TOLD Y-"
"I!" shrieked Kim. "LIKE! GOTHIC! IT MAKES ME HOT!"
Thereafter, the locker room was silent for several seconds.
"The lady likes Gothic, Gothic she gets," Mike said. "Away and
onward, MacDuff," he instructed, leaning back and closing his eyes.
"Excellent choice," Tucker smiled.
Kim folded her arms and pretended she didn't care what she'd just
said. Very loudly. And that she didn't care about the looks and
especially the non-looks she was getting from the other women in the
changing room. And that she didn't care that she felt herself blushing
all the way down to her waist.
"So do I look like Michelle Yeoh?" Mike asked.
"Don't be stupid, NO!" Tucker said instantly, as if the idea was
laughable, and obviously so at that. "You look like Carrie Ng except
with better lips."
Mike desperately wanted to ask who Carrie Ng was, but couldn't
admit his ignorance to Tucker, especially on what sounded like the
subject of Asian Female Actors. So, instead, he said, "You are so fulla
shit it's turned your eyes brown."
He wasn't expecting Tucker to stop what he was doing and rush over
to a mirror to check, but with a moment's reflection upon the magical
nature of this place, it only made sense.
"I think- no, I'm SURE you'll look great in it, Kath, come on,"
Sabrina enticed. "Just try it on."
Kim whimpered as Valerie finally stood Michelle up and turned her
around so Kim could see....
Michelle was so beautiful it took her breath away.
Tucker was grinning as he watched 'Michelle' and Kim embrace, and
hoping that Kim wouldn't smear the makeup job he'd just done-
"Uh, Val?" Tucker turned to Jill. "Uh, could you do my face like
that?" she asked, as her face pinked.
"What?" Tucker gasped, stunned. "YOU?!"
"Shut the fuck up you little shit," Jill shot instantly in return,
her face reddening further. "I just want-"
"Oh, man," Tucker sighed in relief and waved Jill to silence. "I
thought someone had taken over your body or your mind or something."
"Would you just do the makeup?" Jill complained. "Like you did
"Well, not quite since you're not Chinese," Tucker said as he dug
in his satchel, "but I think we can get you something dramatic..."
"Just get dressed normally," said Anya, the younger witch, "and
when you cross the threshold, it'll change with you."
"So I won't rip anything?" Kathy confirmed, and the woman nodded.
"You promise? It's expensive-"
"I don't care!" Sabrina called as she went back to the locker room.
"Well _I_ do!" Kathy shot back over her shoulder.
"WHY do I have to go SHOPPING?!" Michelle shrieked in outrage, and
Sabrina noticed that some of the other women in the locker room were
smirking, as if they had some idea of what was going on. "I'm already
"Well I'M not!" Sabrina yelled back, and was going to continue when
Valerie pulled Michelle's head down and whispered in her ear for a
"Really?" asked Michelle.
Valerie nodded in reply, grinning.
"Okay, we'll go shopping," Michelle announced, and started smiling.
"Man!" Jill commented, staring at herself in the mirror.
"She's getting better with makeup," Amanda commented. "You look
really good, Jill."
"I do?" she asked nervously. Amanda nodded. "No, really? I do?"
"Did you put one of those brain eels in her head?" Kim accused as
they walked back to the car.
"A WHAT?" Valerie shrieked.
"Tau Ceti brain parasite, from Star Trek Two," Michelle spouted.
"Oh," Valerie said calmly, like Michelle had just reminded her that
baseball involves a stick. "Those. No, I just reminded her that I have
greatly enjoyed wearing silk delicates on special romantic occasions,
and suggested that this would be the perfect time to try it out, and
also find something nice for the two of you." She wiggled both eyebrows
"You..." Kim's mouth stayed open even when she couldn't think of
anything to say.
"And _I_ can pick something up for me and Debbie next weekend,"
Valerie grinned, and rubbed her hands. "Something tarty."
"For you or her?" Michelle asked calmly, and blocked Valerie's
slap. "You're too slow, old bean."
Kim stopped walking as the two of them exchanged blows until
Valerie got tired of it.
"AND out of shape," Michelle added, and grabbed Valerie's skate
when she kicked backwards at Michelle. "You are now befucked," she
Valerie sighed, and nodded agreement and surrender, and Michelle
"I don't suppose you two could act like normal women?" Kim sighed.
"Never," Valerie grinned.
"Ever," emphasized Michelle, and the two slapped hands.
Kathy sighed, and looked at Sabrina, who was nodding and smiling.
"Whatsa'matter, honey," came a nasty voice from behind her, and
Kathy turned to see the three college-aged girls that had laughed at her
earlier. "Afraid to go out into the big bad wide world as a girl?"
Kathy's mouth opened, but nothing came out right away.
"Oh, we know," said another one of the women. "We know ALL ABOUT
guys like you."
"Oh you do," Kathy said neutrally.
"Oh yeah," said the third one confidently.
"Then perhaps you'd like to take this outside the park?" Kathy
said, and drained the can of Diet Coke.
Mike looked around for whatever had triggered him THIS time.
Sabrina watched, just barely able to contain herself, as the three
college bitches walked out then turned back to taunt Kathy. Sabrina's
only fear was that one of her nicer outfits would blow up when Kath-
But, it didn't.
Instead, Kathy walked hesitantly over the threshold of the park,
and it was like you were watching her on television and someone zoomed
the camera suddenly, because all of a sudden Kathy grew almost a foot
taller, and just as much wider, and a lot more muscular. AND without
losing the clothing Sabrina had given her.
Kathy smiled, then crumpled and wadded the soda can up into a small
ball, using one hand.
"Gee, what do you know," Kathy said musingly, and flexed her arms.
"Looks like I'm bigger than any of you, now. Must be something in the
water." She backhand-threw the dead can hard into a trash barrel,
making it ring like a bell as the wad of aluminum repeatedly bounced off
The three girls stared. Without laughing, Kathy was glad to note.
"Yeah," said Valerie, whom Kathy hadn't even noticed moving past
the group. "Sometimes, the water transforms idiots into smart people.
People who know what big words like 'out-clas-sed' means." Her hands
were held in a curious pose that Kathy bet was preparation to pull out
something sharp and throw it. Or several somethings.
And on the other side, a few ominous clicks announced the unseen
presence of Mike and probably Kim as well.
"People," Kathy said slowly, "who know when it's a good time to
leave. And, little girls, it's time for you to leave."
They left. Kathy watched without moving until they got into a car
and drove completely out of sight.
"All clear," came the word from Michelle over the car's radio, and
Kim smiled in relief. It was kind of nice to realize that on the one
hand, even as a very well-dressed and super-attractive girl, that
Michelle thought of protecting her friends, and on the other hand, that
Michelle and Valerie both thought she was competent enough to help out,
even if it was as ultimate backup at the wheel of Mike's car.
Besides, Stupid was an awesome car, she knew, which is why she
patted the dashboard affectionately.
"So where's the mall?" Valerie asked as she skated rings around
"Where's the mall?" the tall one asked.
"Which one?" Anya asked in return.
"The CLOSEST one," insisted the Chinese girl.
"Because if you touch me like that while I'm driving I'm gonna have
a wreck, is why you're gonna sit in the back seat," Mike insisted
firmly. Kim pouted, but he wasn't going to risk anything, especially
not that, not like this.
Ronnie looked over at the old junker car, and finally realized that
the immense rumbling noise was coming from IT.
The one thing Grandmother hadn't 'cured' her of, was a great
fondness for competition, in all forms.
"That chick in the BMW wants to race," Tucker said, pointing
to Mike's left.
Mike looked over, and the woman was staring at him. When she saw
Mike's gaze reflecting hers, she grinned and revved her engine
"An unmistakable challenge, Sir Tuck," Mike agreed, revving his own
car back at the woman. "Lock 'em down."
"Oh fuck. Kim, there's a bunch of belts in the back seat there,
just wrap yourself in 'em," Tucker instructed as his fingers flew into
his own tangle of harness. He'd experienced firsthand what Mike's 'new'
car could do, and he knew he'd need it all.
"I can't believe it's two women drag racing," Pam sighed as they
heard both Mike's car and the other woman's Z-3 snarling at each other.
"Maybe the other woman got the special ticket like Mike did?"
Sabrina mused, and the girls laughed.
Mike watched the cross-street lights turn yellow, then red. And
the road ahead was empty, too.
Ronnie pressed the accelerator down for the last time, preparing-
"...three, two," Tucker counted for Mike's benefit, as Mike slipped
the transmission into first. "...One-"
Stupid did sound like an F-15E in full reheat, Tucker decided as he
got slammed back into the ancient bench seat, and then squeezed in place
Ronnie could barely keep her eyes in her head as the ancient
mangled lump of baby-shit yellow and rust, complete with blue plastic
tarp replacing the back window, actually pulled steadily ahead of her.
Before she could shift her own car into fifth, the other woman had
pulled an entire car length ahead, at which point it moved across the
lane, blocking Ronnie from passing, even if she could have gotten the
speed up. "YOU F-"
Brake lights flared in her face.
"Nice brakes on that thing," Tucker said appreciatively as the
BMW screamed to a virtual crawl behind them in a cloud of expensive
rubber. "Must have traction control; it didn't swerve a bit."
"Think I won that one," Mike grinned, as Tucker turned the brake
lights off again, closed the 'special' board, and then the glove
"Well at least you showed HER who was more manly," came a disgusted
voice from the back seat.
Mike had to pull off the road to laugh before he ran into
Mike was already tired of the teasing over the radio when he pulled
into the parking lot of the mall. "Yeah yeah yeah, you wanna shut up?
I don't have to come in and get tortured shopping, I already know what
"Aw, gee, Mike," Tucker whined, "Ya let 'em do it to me!"
"LET them!?" Mike screamed back. "You JUMPED for it!"
Pam and the rest of the girls just sat and listened to the two
'girls' bicker back and forth about who did what to whom and who chose
what, since Pam's radio had a speaker and the two in the other car
hadn't bothered to turn off the radios at their end yet.
"Sounds like Deb and Lisa," Kathy said in a lull, and then they all
had to stifle laughter as the two started up again.
"Silk, right," Mike sighed. "How did I get talked into doing
something stupid like this again?"
Kim's hand placed on his overly-sensitive rear end reminded him, as
his head snapped upright. He'd have to remember not to do that to Kim
unless he wanted her to feel like this.
"And such a nice ass it is," Tucker smirked, but he was gone when
Mike whirled around.
"Would you just ignore her for a while and concentrate on shopping,
since we don't have that much time?" Kim bitched.
Mike sighed. "Of course, sweetheart," he said as cutely as he
could manage, and forced a dopey smile on his face.
Kim's confused look told him he'd overdone it.
"Never mind," Mike sighed, and held out his arm. "My lady fair?"
She slipped her arm in his, and the two of them strolled along.
It took the fourth set of gawking people before Mike remembered
that he was, for the moment, as much a woman physically as Kim was, and
that was probably why everyone was staring at them.
"I don't care and don't let go," she replied instantly.
"'Kay," Mike agreed, and plastered a smile on his face.
Truth be told, he was sort of enjoying the looks.
"Did you and Debbie ever get that blatant?" Kathy asked idly as she
snapped another telephoto shot of Michelle and Kim with her good camera.
"Only that one time, I think, after school let out, that time we
all went out to that nice place, for dinner, before the rave-"
"Oh, yeah," she grinned. Kathy hadn't taken those shots, but she'd
seen them enough times, and these were just as good, if you were into
pictures of fully-clothed women kissing each other. Kathy had to admit
some interest in that area, but only if one (or more) of the women was
someone she knew.
Which was why she waited until Michelle and Kim leaned close to each
other for another kiss before taking another photograph.
"It's just Kathy," Kim sighed.
"Taking pictures of you kissing a girl," Mike reminded her.
"KATHY!" screamed Kim as she broke loose. "STOP IT!"
The explosion of laughter told Mike that they were already aware of
what they were doing, and - knowing Tucker - doing it on purpose.
Kathy had to let go of the railing when she could no longer stand
up. Valerie was already on her back, howling and banging her head
against the floor.
"Maybe this was a bad idea," Sabrina admitted as the howls of
laughter attracted a lot more attention than she wanted.
"You know what happens when we take VAL someplace," Jill lectured,
"and you had the bright idea to take BOTH of them?"
"At least she took her skates off," Amanda giggled.
Brandon, who was going by 'Janice' after partaking of a shower in
Bikini Beach's 'male' dressing room, sighed. "Tell me again why you
waited until five THIS evening before you remembered they were comin-"
"I THOUGHT," Bertram Smythe complained in his British accent, which
grew more obvious when he was upset or, like now, irritated, "that my
idiot parents were flying in at the END of the week. They CALLED me
from bloody Kennedy International and told me that they had changed
their flight, oh so sorry old bean we'll be there in two hours cheerio,
don't forget to pick us up and bring your gellfriend," which
pronunciation always amused Brandon but he dared not let it show this
time, "we want to meet her, and then they bloody well rung off!" He
kicked at the lamp post they were passing. "Bloody parents, I should
get a divorce..."
Brandon sighed deeply.
"Look," Bert said as he turned to his roommate, "I really
appreciate you doing this, and on such short notice, but I just didn't
know what else to do-"
"Why did you tell them you had a girlfriend?"
"To explain why they could hear women's voices in my room at eleven
o'clock at night when they called once," Bert explained. "They know me
well enough that, that sort of thing just doesn't happen to me, not even
Brandon had to agree with that. Clever, imaginative, chess master,
academic excellence... those were things that described his dorm mate.
'Chick magnet' was not one of those things.
"And if I'd told them what was REALLY going on," Bert continued,
but smiling now, "they'd have come that much sooner, to have me locked
up." That made Brandon laugh too.
At least Bert had enough smarts to agree that it was stretching
probability a little too far if Brandon's 'new body' and Bert's
semi-imaginary girlfriend was a knockout too; so Brandon was now
sporting a somewhat taller than average redhead, with a nice smile and a
little extra weight. In fact, she looked a lot like a girl Brandon had
been watching in his summer vector-calc class, minus the acne scars and
the glasses. But not enough to freak anyone out or confuse the real
and the fake ones; they'd learned that lesson.
"Oooooh," Mike breathed as the silk slid down his body and across
the amazingly sensitive nipples he was 'renting' from the park. "My
god." He found himself sitting down on the bench when it finished
moving and he could open his eyes again.
"Try rubbing your nipples with it," Tucker called over the
partition, which was followed by noises of abuse.
"Don't break her, I need her tomorrow," Mike called blindly.
The noises stopped, there was a pause, then someone asked, "Why?"
"I get paid if I bring her back without any pieces missing," Mike
"How much?" Tucker asked instantly. "I want half!" The abuse
noises resumed. Mike sighed; he'd done what he could. Or what he was
willing to do, considering that Tucker had brought most of it on
himself, and it was his friends delivering it.
"I need some shoes to go with this outfit, though," Valerie
"You know what's scary? How much you're acting like Debbie," Kathy
"You know what else is scary?" Valerie grinned. "I don't care, if
I can be with her!" Then she stopped smiling and sighed.
"Val, don't you start pining, or I'll strangle you," Kathy
Valerie looked up, incredulous. "Have you ever considered going
into therapy, with your sweet and gentle and caring nature?"
"Not to mention my ever-so-subtle way of influencing people," Kathy
grinned back, and flexed.
"Yes mistress, sorry mistress, whatever you desire mistress,"
Valerie rattled off, and knelt in front of Kathy, her head down.
And she didn't get up.
"Oh jeez, stop it!" Kathy said, looking around. Too many people
were watching her. "Val, come ON!"
"How does this- JILL!" The blonde looked around guiltily, like
Sabrina thought she ought to feel. "You're SUPPOSED to be helping!"
"Oh, uh, yeah, that looks okay," she said hurriedly.
"Why?" Sabrina challenged.
"Like _I_ fucking know?" Jill shot back. "Go get Valerie if you
want a fucking fashion opinion!"
"Because," Tucker said as he paged through the borrowed phone book,
"we've got nine people, so we really want to make reservations. It's
polite, like." *Rrrrrrrr- there it is.* He memorized the number, then
smiled at the counter girl and asked, "Can I borrow the phone too? Just
for a minute or so?"
"Come on, Kim," Michelle encouraged, and so Kim finally dared
unlock the door on the stall and push it open, even though she was
already regretting her ac-
"Wow!" Michelle said softly, her face lighting up in surprise and
approval. She swallowed, then added, "That looks great, Kim, it really
The sweet, reproving, smile on Michelle's face almost made Kim cry,
it was so beautiful.
"Hey Val, weren't you going to wear something nice for dinner?"
Kathy reminded her.
"Oh, crap!" Valerie complained. "Come on, I've got a nice outfit
in the car," she insisted as she grabbed Kathy's arm and pulled
frantically. Kathy sighed, and let the little psychopath pull her
along. *Just like Deb...*
"Nothing!" Julia snarled at Amanda. Julia hated shopping,
especially in malls.
"Okay, okay, jeez! This is supposed to be relaxing-"
"RELAXING!" Julia shrieked, then calmed herself. "I know, I know,
I'm just having a tense day, is all. I need a real vacation." She
closed her eyes, took a deep breath, let it out, then reopened her eyes
and smiled at Amanda. "Fun, right?" Amanda nodded cautiously. "Let's
go look for something for you, then."
"Come on, Jill! If me and Val can do it..." Mike called.
Finally, Jill came out, about as nervous as Kim had been in the
lingerie, and almost ran back into the changing room when Sabrina
"No, come on," she almost whined, looking sort of pale. "I look
"No, you look great!" Sabrina repeated, and the other girls agreed.
"What IS your problem, Jill?" Mike asked. "You really do look good
dressed like that."
She looked at him. For a long time.
Finally she sighed, and asked, "Do you really want to know?"
"Only you," Kathy sighed as Valerie adjusted the leather straps
before slipping the ivory linen jacket on over them.
"Mike found 'em in a catalog, and we used Dad's sewing stuff to
adapt 'em," Valerie commented, apparently oblivious to Kathy's actual
thoughts. "Hat, or no hat?"
*Debbie's taken over her mind,* Kathy thought, before she
remembered what was under Valerie's arms now. *No... Jeez, they're
reinforcing each other. Eyugh!*
"Uh.... hat," Kathy decided hurriedly.
"A hat?" Mike said skeptically.
"You know, you sound JUST like Charlene," Tucker said back.
"It looks really retro," Sabrina decided, and Jill nodded
agreement. "Good one, Val!"
"Excuse me," said a sexy British voice from behind Julia, and she
turned around and-
The red haired girl standing next to the owner of the sexy-sounding
Brit was yet another that had been a guy recently.
"Damnit!" Julia cursed before she could stop herself. *Another
"Excuse me?" said the Brit, then the two looked at each other, like
they had a shared secret.
"Uh, nothing," Julia sighed. *Figures, he's got a boyfriend/drag
queen. Why are all the sexy ones gay or married?* "You want someone to
help you pick out something nice for your b- um, girlfriend there, to
The two stared at her.
"I don't have all night," Julia reminded them, feeling a bit
"Jeez," Jill said, staring in the mirror at herself. "I almost
"Sexy?" Michelle leered, before Kim slapped her rump. "Ow!
"Don't call ME a bitch, you-" Kim started before Michelle grabbed
her and started kissing her.
Jill sighed, and turned back to the mirror. She couldn't tell what
looked nice on herself, which is why she'd asked for help.
"Who were those people?" Amanda asked Julia.
"I don't know," Julia sighed, "but they left this pair of silky
"You're making one of those damned allegorical references that's
supposed to make you look so damned educated, aren't you?" Amanda
Julia laughed until she fell down.
"You do look nice," Bert said to 'Janice'. She did; the green
dress the woman had picked out for Janice made her hair look more
emphatically red and her eyes greener.
"But how did she figure me out?" Brandon/Janice said, staring at
the dashboard, like she'd been doing since they got into the car.
She wasn't listening to him. "I really like the shoes, too," Bert
"I mean, I didn't even do anything."
"Your hair is afire," Bert said. "Your lice are abandoning ship."
She ignored it. "Man, I mean... what did I do wrong?"
"It's the lice," Bert said idly, wondering how he could snap her
out of her reverie-
It figured; NOW she was glaring at him.
"Table for nine, name of Tucker," Valerie grinned.
"Right this way, miss," said the hostess, smiling back.
"Ya know," Mike mentioned to Kim as they seated themselves, "it
loses something when I'm like this, compared to before the dance."
Kim reached over and kissed the hell out of him, as if to say,
'Yeah, but there are compensatory aspects'.
Or maybe just 'I think you're hot'. Mike wasn't sure nor did he
especially care what message underlay what Kim was doing to him.
"Anyone else like mushrooms?" Tucker asked the rest of the table,
studiously ignoring the two girls going at it like in a porno sitting
next to him.
A hand tapping his thigh almost made him scream, but he identified
the touch as Mike answering silently in the affirmative. *How,* Tucker
wondered, *can he think of food when he's doing THAT?*
Brandon smiled at Bert and said, "I'll be back in a moment, I want
to go freshen up," before dashing off to the ladies' room.
Ladies' rooms were no longer the unknown he'd wondered about, but
he still wasn't especially happy about having to use one.
Unfortunately, he hadn't expected to run into, not just the girl
from the store, but a dozen of her friends, in the room.
As they walked out to the parking lot, Mike commented, "Man, those
people are just WEIRD!"
There was a moment's silence before the rest of the Pack broke into
"Janice? What took you so long? And why are you shaking?"
"Those people are WEIRD!"
Mike sighed as they made their way up the stairs to the three rooms
they'd rented. Somehow. Mike had thought it was impossible to rent a
room without a credit card. Maybe Tucker throwing cash at the clerk had
had something to do with it.
"We get a room to ourselves," Kim was 'explaining' to the other
girls behind them, "because I PAID for one, just for us!"
"Jeez, Kim, chill out," Pam said.
"Yeah, go kiss Michelle or something," suggested Kathy, to the
accompaniment of laughter. "You're too stressed."
Mike sighed, then parked himself on the railing and waited for Kim,
who looked surprised when she rounded the corner and saw him. "Hi," he
smiled at her.
"Hi?" she smiled back shyly as she stopped.
Kathy looped a finger around her ear, and all the rest of the girls
giggled. The two lunatics in question didn't notice, which surprised
Kathy not at all.
"Man, I hope I'm never like that," Amanda sighed.
"I hope I AM," Pam said back. "SOMEday."
"You'd have to kiss a girl to be like that," Valerie pointed out.
"Forget it, then," Pam said in a flat voice, which made Kathy
"Speaking of kissing girls," Valerie went on, "who's sleeping with
That stopped them all. "Ummmm," Kathy said, and then lost her
thoughts completely. "I really wish you hadn't put it quite like
As Mike hauled his duffel to his room, Tucker came out and said,
Tucker had stripped his makeup and was wearing a T shirt and boxer
shorts, apparently almost ready for bed and looking disturbingly like
his sister Susan. "I just wanted to say, good luck, have fun
Mike chuckled. "Thanks," he replied eventually. The irony of the
situation was almost too much.
The soft hug from his blood-brother surprised him, but the kiss on
his cheek almost blew his mind completely.
Tucker was staring deep into Mike's eyes when his head pulled back.
"Mike," Tucker said quite seriously, "this is a night for yin, not yang.
Kim's gonna need to run things. Just lie back and be passive, for a
while, okay? Don't fight it."
Tucker smiled, embraced Mike closer, and kissed his other cheek
before letting go. "See ya in the morning, then," Tuck said softly, and
turned to walk away.
"Tuck? Thanks," Mike said sincerely.
Tucker sighed. Going to sleep in between Kathy and Julia was nice,
but not nearly as nice as having sex with Debbie for a couple of hours
and then showering together and THEN going to sleep. With Debbie.
Then again, he supposed that was supposed to be an incomparable
Her head snapped up, betraying far too much nervousness for Mike's
comfort. "Uh, I mean... I don't even know how to get out of some of
these clothes, and never mind the makeup..."
That made her laugh a little, like he'd hoped.
Michelle looked embarrassed as she started to take off her panties,
then stopped. "Um, Kim?"
Kim blinked. "What?" she said, managing a voice that almost
"I... I mean, I'm really wet, I guess..." she said, looking much
more embarrassed now. "What do I do with the underwear?"
"Oh, um... just rinse it out in the sink, I guess..."
"Okay," she said, and shut the bathroom door.
Kim stared at the door, unbelieving, for quite a while before her
grief and shame and guilt overwhelmed her.
Mike took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror.
It wasn't him, of course; it was a girl's body, which wasn't his,
that he was wearing for several hours.
On the other hand, it was a very NICE body, and the jade green silk
that was covering it made it look even more appealing than nudity had
He liked the hair, too.
He nodded to himself, and opened the door, expecting Kim to turn
around, to be smiling, to be reading, maybe brushing her hair or
Anything but curled up on the bed crying her face off.
"But, I just, I mean, I don't understand, how anyone could WANT
me..." Kim choked.
"Kim, oh Kim," Michelle crooned, as she rocked Kim back and forth
gently. "I wouldn't be with you this long if you weren't beautiful,"
she said softly.
"See?" Mike said, putting his head on her shoulder and looking in
the mirror with her at the dark red silk that made Kim look so sensual.
"I look fat," she spat at herself.
"You," Mike said as he turned her around, "are not a skinny little
girl-child like Pam is, or like Valerie looks like. You, my lady fair,
are a WOMAN. And you look like a woman. Not a child." He ran his
hands along the sides of her body, causing an intake of breath. "Curvy,
breasted, hipped, soft, gentle, padded..." He kissed her then, for a
while, before breaking the kiss.
"And," Mike said as he raised an eyebrow, "you're going to ravish
me tonight, aren't you?" He took a pose from Tucker and displayed it
"What's up?" Pam asked Sabrina, who was still sitting at the table
in the room, with the reading light on.
"I can't sleep," Sabrina sighed. "I keep waiting..."
"For the screaming to start?" Pam suggested, and then they were all
*I'd never have believed it if Tucker hadn't told me about it, but
maybe it's one of those universal secrets or something,* Mike thought as
he danced slowly with Kim, gently twirling through some 'luvv songz'
Tucker had disked up, probably for just this sort of occasion.
Though not for this girl, Mike hoped.
Kim sighed, and kept her head in the cleavage Mike was sporting.
He had to admit that it wasn't a bad feeling at all, especially with her
hair rubbing against the sensitive skin and the silk...
"Music!" Sabrina muttered as she pulled away from the wall.
"Maybe they did that so we couldn't hear what they're doing," Pam
"Playing Scrabble?" Amanda suggested, and they all laughed.
"'Ohh oh oh oh oh god,'" Jill gasped, "'a triple word score!'"
before she curled up in a ball in the bed and howled.
"Please..." Michelle breathed as she lay back on the bed. "Kim,
please, touch me..."
"But- But, I don't even know what-"
"Kim, I don't even know where to touch myself," Michelle gasped.
"Show me, please?"
Kim let herself down next to the girl, who embraced her tightly.
"You sure?" Kim asked him again.
Mike managed to open his eyes. "Kim? Remember what I looked like
before we stopped at the park? This whole BODY is for you. Just for
you, to play with," he smiled at her. "And so far, it's, it's
"Really?!" Kim gasped.
"Really," Mike assured her. "So, don't stop? Please?"
Kim felt Michelle's thighs going taut as she gasped, then pushed
against Kim's fingers so hard Kim was afraid for a moment she would hurt
Michelle, before remembering how good it felt when SHE was feeling what
Michelle was feeling right now-
The other girls had gone to sleep, and Sabrina was close, but not
quite close enough that she couldn't hear, just barely, the noises
coming from the other room. They had bothered her years ago, when it
was her parents, but now... well, even though Kim was making love to
another woman, Sabrina was a lot easier with it now.
Though this was another one of those stories she'd never be able to
tell anyone but one of the girls...
*Tuck was right, this doesn't taste anything like fish...*
Tucker sighed and rolled over. He missed Debbie SO bad.
"Kim?" Mike finally asked.
"Are you okay?"
She opened her eyes, partially. "Uh huh... why?"
"I just wondered," Mike said, and pulled her back against his
chest. He liked feeling her breath there.
Tucker smiled before he fell off the deep end of consciousness.
When Julia woke up, it was partially because a wet Kathy had sat on
the bed next to her. "Hey, Jules?" said a surprisingly gentle voice.
"Free breakfast buffet if we hurry," Kathy mentioned.
"MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmph," Julia finally decided as she pushed herself
"Come on, slowpoke, I've been up for an hour," Valerie chirped.
She sounded far too enthusiastic, so Julia threw a pillow at her. "Uf!"
That made Julia smile.
"Oh, god..." Michelle sighed as her head arched back and she
pressed against Kim's straining body.
*I want to do this every morning,* Kim decided before her own
orgasm blotted out all thought.
"Hey, Kim?" She looked up from where she was drying her hair.
"I..." He wasn't sure how she'd take it, but he felt he had to tell
her. "I think I'm changing back."
"What?" She stood upright, and then the two of them were standing
in front of the mirror, watching intently.
"Ooooh," Valerie groaned, and pressed at her abdomen in a very
Kathy was about to offer some Midol when she realized that Valerie
was the one person in the party that SHOULDN'T be having those kind of
cramps. "Val?" Kathy managed to push out.
"Mike's changing back," she grimaced. "It's really gross."
"How do you KNOW?" Julia demanded as the other girls gaped.
"I have to admit, I feel a little relieved," Mike said, staring at
his familiar, male, body again. Then he noticed that Kim had withdrawn.
She had pulled back, and looked pale.
*Oh...damnit, what do I-*
Mike pulled the green silk chemise off the counter and slid into
it. He felt mildly stupid, but the surprised look on Kim's face was a
lot better than the nauseated one she'd had moments before.
She flinched, then looked him in the face.
"Kim... look, it's still me," Mike sighed, then went and sat on the
very mussed bed. "It's just that a few parts changed, is all."
"You had a lot of fun touching me last night," Mike reminded her,
"and kissing me in the mall, and walking arm in arm, and shopping,
remember? Remember dinner?" She looked puzzled. "And who was that
"You did all that, with the same me that's sitting here now," he
said slowly. "_I_ didn't change."
Kim took a deep breath, then slowly and delicately walked over to
the bed, and sat next to him. "I.... I know," she said slowly, looking
at the hairbrush in her hand. "It... it just, seems different..."
Mike waited for a long time, before he reached a hand out and put
it over one of hers. "It's not, that much..."
She turned to say something, and Mike saw how close to the edge she
was, as evidenced by the way her throat was frantically pulsing.
"Please," she whispered, and he had no idea what she was asking for.
Mike closed his eyes for a last plea that he was doing the right
thing, then opened them and lay back on the bed. "Maybe you could
ravish me or something?"
Valerie blinked, then shook herself a little bit, like she'd fallen
asleep sitting up. "Val," Kathy asked, "did you sleep at all last
"Huh? Yeah," she said absently.
"Then what are-"
"Mike and Kim," Val said, like it was fairly obvious. Kathy looked
around, but couldn't see either of them.
Hysterical laughter was not really what Mike had hoped for, but she
was touching him, at least, and even clinging to him.
She finally looked up, and he got several tissues to wipe her face.
"Oh, oh god I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," she babbled
frantically as she tried to pull away, but he kept an arm around her and
kept her close.
"No, Kim, it's okay," Mike grinned at her as he handed her the
tissues, daring to keep one in his own hand and try wiping the tears of
laughter off her face.
She let him.
In fact, she caressed his face with a hand, and then kissed him.
"Are you sure?" Mike , Mike the BOY, asked, before he touched her
again, and Kim finally felt some sense of connection between HIM and the
HER that Kim had made love to last night. "I mean, if you get scared,
we don't have to-"
"I know," Kim gulped, but pulled on his hand to keep him from
getting up. "That's why it's okay, because I don't have to. Just..."
When he couldn't stand waiting for Kim to try to push it out any
longer, Mike verbally nudged, "Just what?" and squeezed her hand.
"C-c-can I be on top?"
He chuckled, then started to laugh. But he kept squeezing her
hand, as if to remind her that he was here, with her, and that he-
"Oh my," Tucker said out of the blue, and then realized that all
the girls were looking at him again. "Nothing," he lied, smiling, and
weathered the protests and pummelling he got for not telling.
There were some things a gentleman just didn't talk about, and this
was one of them. Maybe two.
Kathy asked, "So do we go get them, or-"
"Here they are!" Amanda announced, waving her arm, and everyone
turned to look.
It was Kim, smiling like the sun, and... Mike.
And the two of them had their arms and even bodies entwined around
each other as much as two people could and still walk.
It took Kathy quite a while before she realized that Mike was
wearing the silk chemise they'd bought for 'her' yesterday, along with a
pair of black pants.
"It makes you look sort of... poofy," Tucker warned.
"Tuck? I don't care," Mike stated. "Kim likes it so I'm wearing
it." Tucker glanced at Kim, who had the same kind of oh-jeez-did-I-get-
screwed-this-morning look he liked seeing Debbie with in the morning.
And she was draped across Mike like Debbie never did except when they
were alone, too.
"Okay okay," Tucker surrendered. "Just be careful."
"Besides, who do you think discovered silk in the first place?" Mike
grinned. "You round-eyed fr-"
"Shut up, Mike," Tucker sighed.
"Yeah, shut up Mike," Kim breathed, then started to giggle. But
she didn't let go of Mike, either.
Tucker hit Kathy's shoulder in his urgency, gasped, "Kath!" and
Mike and Kim were doing a full-blown Movie Kiss on the balcony
outside their room, right where they were lit by the sun which was just
clearing the artificial horizon of the skyline...
And Kathy had a camera.
"Oooh!" Kathy said excitedly when she saw what Tucker was pointing
at, and she burst into action.
As Kathy did a photographer's fast-draw, Tucker's mouth yelled,
"Lift your leg like the movies!"
Kathy's motor-wound SLR went full auto 'KCH-KCH-KCH-KCH-KCH-'
Mike and Kim each lifted a leg, but they didn't stop kissing...
nandekka: what do you want?
kurite moju trubku: Suck my cock!
Used in the same derogatory way as its counterpart in English.
Yoku iu-yo!: How dare you say that!
hou1 ni3 ma1 de bi1: Suck your mother's cunt
Common in Taiwan, of unknown frequency in China. Not recommended if unarmed.
Distribution: No part of this work may be distributed as an original work by another person or group.
Permission is given to redistribute this by electronic means, as long as the entirety of the work (from the BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE header to the END PGP SIGNATURE footer) is distributed, and credit is given to the original author, me. And no fee may be charged.
Archiving is permitted provided no fee is charged for access.
All rights reserved. ~Ellen.
PGP DH/DSS keyfing: 33D4 156A AE39 53E2 0313 6714 2878 56A8 61B0 9CDC
+ http://www.barkingduck.net/ehayes -==- vicki .sig virus 11.4 +
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