Alexa Chapter 7: A New Reality
I awoke the next morning with a mass of blonde hair in my face and me holding on to someone. After a second I realized where I was and I cuddled up to naked body lying next to me. I was greeted with happy groan and Jenny cuddling back into my body even more. I can’t believe I am laying here with Jenny. I can’t believe I slept with Jenny. I had to be dreaming but the slight pounding of my head confirmed that this was not a dream. The sound of a throat being cleared at the foot of the bed also confirmed that I was not dreaming.
“What are you two doing?” came from the foot of the bed. Jenny quickly rolled over and hid her face and my chest and pulling the blankets over her head trying to hide form our accuser, leaving me to deal with Katie.
“Good morning Katie” I say trying to be as nonchalant as possible.
“Don’t good morning me you two.” Katie said trying to sound motherly before bursting out laughing. “I’m glad I was too drunk last night to figure out what was going on. Jenny get up, you got class in half an hour.”
The voice like that of a little girl came out from beneath the sheets “NO. I don’t want to”. This was soon filled by some giggling and then a light bite on my chest. Katie just shook her head and closed the door as she left the room. Soon as the door was shut, Jenny came out from under the covers and gave me a long, sensuous kiss before finally saying “Good Morning”
“Good morning.” I reply. “Did you sleep OK?”
‘What little I got yes.” Jenny says followed by a light kiss on my chest. “I think I could get used to waking up like this.”
“I could too” I reply and move down and give her a kiss.
Forty minutes later the two of us emerge from Jenny’s room only to be confronted by a young woman who did not look happy. She sat at the dining room table just staring at the two of us as Jenny and I walked hand in hand to the kitchen. Jenny let go long enough to go get two cups of coffee for us. I sat down at the table and looked at Katie. She looked like she had gone through a war. “How are you doing this morning?” I ask her as Jenny hands me a cup of coffee and sits down at the table with Katie and I.
“My head is killing me. Way too much to drink. Then I wake up and find you two in bed together.” Katie states.
“Are you mad about that?” Jenny asks sheepishly.
“Hell no!” Katie says as she leans over to her roommate and give her big hug. I could see a look of relief come across Jenny’s face. And even though Katie is hugging Jenny, she is giving me a look that tells me that Katie and I will be sitting down for a long conversation later on.
The two girls finally release each other and Katie starts acting like a kid at Christmas wanting to know all the details of how Jenny and I wound up together. Jenny just explained that over the last few days she realized how special I was and that after spending a lot of the evening together she felt like she really got to know me. I sat there just staring at Jenny as she explained how after talking with Doctor Burke she felt like she had been hit by a thunderbolt.
“So how did it go with Doctor Burke?” Katie asked.
I finally felt I had a chance to add to the conversation. “It went very well. As nice as she was the other day at her office, she was even nicer yesterday. I think not being in the office probably helped. I was kind of mean to her though.”
“How?” a frowning Katie asks.
Jenny starts to chuckle a little as I begin to tell the story. ‘Well, Debbie was there before us and had taken a table. After we got our coffee I spotted her and she spotted me but didn’t acknowledge it was me and kept looking around for the person she thought she was meeting. So, I dragged Jenny to the patio for a minute to throw Debbie off and then went back in introduced myself. She literally did a spit take. I don’t think she was expecting what she saw.”
Katie looked at me in mock indignation ‘You two are so mean!” and then started giggling. “What did you think of her Jen?”
“I thought she was wonderful. She knows Professor Burg so we talked about him and his class. She seemed to really care about Alexa too. I was surprised at how personal an interest she seemed to take in our little girl.” Jenny explains as she leans over and gives me a big hug.
“I thought she was great too. I really wished I would have been able to meet up with her yesterday. I would have love to have seen her reaction to meeting Alexa.” Katie says.
“Lex was wonderful yesterday. She was great with the doctor and she even took me out to dinner. They only bad thing about her is that she is a little wild. One drink at Brady’s turned into about 3 or 4.” Jenny says as she explained part of our evening.
‘What time did you two leave Brady’s?” Katie asks. “I got there about 10:30.”
“Some guy started talking to Lex around 9:00 I think. Something about that Derek guy. Lex basically pushed me out the door and into a cab.” Jenny informs her roommate.
“Wait a second, what is this Lex stuff?” Katie asks.
Both Jenny and I look at each other with a little sheepish look. “I think it’s Jen’s nickname for me.” I tell Katie as Jen blushes. Now it’s my turn to reach over and give Jenny a hug. “And I like it.”
Katie pushed her self away from the table at that moment. Rolling her eyes, she lets out an “Oh God”. She grabs her coffee cup and move to the living room. Jenny and I break the hug enough for us to give each other a short kiss that is quickly followed by a much longer more passionate one. As we break I can’t help but look deeply into Jenny’s eye. There is warmth in them, there is understanding. There is no sadness at all. My heart soars and my head goes into shock. Did I cause this? There is no way I had the ability to make this beautiful woman so happy, but the proof was right in front of me. This might be the highest point in my life.
I think both Jenny and I came to the realization that we should break our little make out session and get back to Katie. Giggling, we grab our coffee and join Katie in the living room. I take the spot which seems to have become my spot. But unlike last Friday, Jenny slides in next to me and not at the other end. Katie just smiles and shakes her head as Jenny and I get comfortable. After we are set I ask “So what is the plan for the day?” I don’t have to work for the next two days so I am completely open. “
Katie says she is open as well. It was at this point Jenny remembered that I needed to learn how to do makeup properly. So the three of us moved off the couch and adjourned into Jenny’s room to begin my lessons on the art of makeup. After a few hours, and much trial and error as well as laughter it was decided that I was getting the hang of applying my own make up and was given a last test. I was to go in and take a shower and then get dressed and do my makeup for a day of shopping. The girls opened up both of their closets to me and headed to the living room while I went to the shower. After the shower and a complete shave, I exited the bathroom and entered Jenny’s room where I found a white bra and thong set laying out for me. Thinking that I wanted to look a little more casual I sneak over to Katie’s room and grab a few things before I returned to Jenny’s room to get ready. As I was getting ready, Katie took her turn in the shower and Jenny came into the room to watch me. After finishing the makeup and donning the wig I pulled on a pair of back almost opaque pantyhose, followed by a denim mini skirt. I pulled on a black sweater and wrapped a cheetah print scarf around my neck.
“You look great Alexa” Jenny says as she leans in and gives me a light kiss on the lips. The kiss was almost magical. Here I was wearing women's clothes, completely made up and kissing the woman of my dreams. I could die happy. I can't help but have a huge smile across my as this plays out. Jenny stops and looks at me. "You better get out of here or we will never leave." I have to agree with my new girlfriend's comment. Another quick kiss and I grab the boots I wore last night and head back to the living room.
I grab my cup and head back to the kitchen to warm up my coffee. Soon as I have a warmed up cup of coffee and my boots on I head back to the living room to wait for my friends. Before I reach the couch Katie emerges from her room. "Looking hot Alexa" Katie says before sitting on the couch. I can tell Katie has something on her mind. She just keeps staring at me and I feel like all the lights are about to dim except for a naked bulb that will appear right above me. I start to fidget as this stare down continues. I look to make sure I’m not sitting with legs open or something else. I am starting to really get nervous. Finally, Katie speaks.
“What is going on here?”
Wow. That was a loaded question, how do I answer. Falling back on my typical smart ass ways, I look Katie straight in the eye and say “We are waiting on Jenny so we can go do some shopping.”
“You know that’s not what I’m talking about, smart ass. What is going on with you and Jenny?” I just smile as Katie asks me this question. “How did this all start?”
I take a second before I answer. “I really don’t know how it all started, but I noticed a change in her on Wednesday morning. She just seemed friendlier at first and then spending all day with her she was just crazy. She would touch me and grab my hand. We were having fun together. The thing that got me though were her eyes. She seemed happy. It was a look that got me going. Tell you what, I’m not complaining.”
“Just be careful. You are going through a lot right now and your emotions are very fragile. You might just be some ‘experience’ Jenny wants to try.” Katie says.
“Can’t I just enjoy it?” I ask.
“Yes you can but remember I care about you and I don’t want to see you hurt. Jenny maybe my friend, but you are my family. I love you Alexa.” Katie replies.
I go over and give my sister a big hug and whisper a thank you in her ear. I can feel a tear forming in my eye. I don’t think I have ever been happier. This feeling was confirmed when from behind me I hear.
“Get your hands of her Katie. Lex is all mine.” Jenny says then begins to giggle. Katie and I turn and stare at her and begin to laugh as well. Katie then says
“No way. She’s mine. I’ve known her longer.” The next thing I know I feel Jenny wrapped around the two of us and the three us are giggling away on the couch. As strange as this might sound, this little pile is the most love I have ever felt in my whole life. Maybe when I was little and my mother would cuddle me I felt this kind of love, but since I was about 10, the closeness had disappeared. Having the two most important people in my life hugging me right now was making all those self-doubts of a few days ago dissipate, though not completely.
Finally, we gain control of our selves. We begin to plan out our day ahead. Jenny starts the conversation, “We need to begin building a new wardrobe for Alexa.” I kind of give a little pout at that. Jenny pulls me in and hugs me. “You will always be welcome to steal clothes from me, but we need to get you some of your own things. Plus, we have get you looking good, not like Katie.” This earns a quick swat with a pillow by Katie.
We start to pull ourselves off the couch and get ready to go. Before we can head out Jenny tells me I need a different purse and races back into her room. She returns with a Michael Koors bag that was definitely larger than the small clutch I had used. I transfer my things into my new purse and head for the door. It is at that moment that Jenny and I realize that Jenny’s car is still downtown. “I guess we will have to take my car, but I’m not driving in case we get pulled over.” I state. I then look at Katie and say with a giggle “And she’s not driving either.” This earns me a tongue being stuck out by Katie.
“I know what you mean.” Jenny says, which earns her the same response from her roommate. We head down to my car and head out to Ridgedale once again and spend the rest of the day beating up my credit card as we buy me the essentials of a new life. Jenny pitches in as well. We don’t go crazy but we do pick up things like skirts and tops for me as well as a few pairs of jeans, I do stop by Nordstrom and meet up with my new friend Sarah, who shows me a few items I might need. I want to tell her the whole story of Alexa, but Jenny warns me off. “There will be a time to do that.” Jenny does whip out her credit card and buys me a maroon velvet sleeveless midi dress. It is absolutely beautiful, but expensive. I tell Jenny that it is too much and she just waves me off. “Marty and Marilyn haven’t spent any money on me in a while. I want to get this for you. Plus, there are a few other things I want to get you.” She says with a wicked gleam in her eyes.
Those ‘other things’ happened to be workout wear, which I finally agree to a pair of Capri workout pants along with a sport bra top and followed by a pair of women’s athletic shoes. “Isn’t this a bit much?” I ask. Jenny just shakes her head and indicates that this stop is only part of her spending spree. As we walk along, Jenny keeps stopping at various stores, especially shoe stores, and drags me in to try things on. She even buys me a few things. Katie is also dragging me into stores to try things on. It is almost like I am stuck in a contest between Jenny and Katie. Jenny is trying to get me to buy lots of skirts and dresses that seem very fashion conscious, which is her style. Katie on the other hand is trying to get me to buy clothing that is much more casual and trendy, more her style. It would actually be kind of funny if I didn’t feel like I was their personal Barbie doll. As close of friends as the two are, they have completely different styles and this has led to a few differences of opinion on how I should dress. The nice thing is they both have given some ground. Even though I don’t think I have ever seen Jenny in a pair of jeans more than once or twice, I did get a few pair jeans. And even though it’s not her style, Katie seems to agree that some of the skirts are necessary.
As we cross the mall I continue to be the object of a fun-natured tug of war and I realize I am having a great time. I seem to be almost strutting through the mall and my face is almost hurting from the huge smile I have on my face. I feel like I own the world, and it is feeling I seemed to have had all day. Is it because I have started to accept Alexa or is it because of Jenny. And what about Jenny? She seems to be going out of her way to buy me things and is almost hanging on everything I say. It is so odd. Is Jenny a lesbian? Ever since Wednesday she has been very touchy-feely with me and then last night. She practically threw herself at me, not that I am complaining. Or maybe it is like what Katie warned me about. Jenny is just wanting a new experience and I could get tossed aside. I really need to get Jenny alone so I can talk to her.
I realized the girls have stopped walking and that we are standing in front of Victoria’s Secret. Although I have been in several stores today, I still feel odd walking in here. Looking at dresses and shoes is one thing, but lingerie is so much different. With dresses it’s so much easier to deceive people but with lingerie, I am almost exposed. I try talk the girls out of going in but they would have none of it. The two of them practically had to drag me in to the store and as nervous as I was about going in, I can honestly say it was exciting to be here. I instantly went back to this stores display of matching bras and thongs. The same ones that I had purchased in red last weekend when I messed with the girls. I picked out black and white sets as well as pink. The girls tended to be a little more practical on my needs for the most part. Katie picked out a couple of everyday bras and one really pretty camisole and tap pants set in a royal blue for sleeping. Jenny found a matching kimono for the sleep set as well as a couple of garter belts. “What are those for?” Katie asks Jenny. I walked up behind Katie and whispered into her ear that it was none of her business. The three of us broke out in a fit of giggles as we paid for our items. I tell Jenny as we are waiting that we need to get out of here quickly. When Jenny asks why I inform her that I could really do more damage to my credit card if we stayed. She laughs and says she could too. Soon we are on our way.
As we begin to make our way back to the car, basically because I don’t know how much more damage we can do, I notice a pair of boots that remind me of something I saw a girl wearing on campus the other day. I really liked the look of a mini dress, long black socks and ankle boots. The boots we passed were a pair of black lace up boots with a three-inch wedge heel. I quickly head into the store without saying anything to Katie and Jenny and asked the woman working if they have this boot in a 9 or 9 and a half. She tells me she will go look. Jenny complements me on my choice while Katie says something about Jenny creating a monster. I turn and stick my tongue out at my ‘sister and wait for the clerk. Shortly I have my boots but now I need the dress. Where do I go? The answer suddenly hits me. I tell the girls to follow me.
In a few minutes we find ourselves in Nordstrom again and I search out my new friend Sarah. I describe the dress I am looking for. Sarah looks over at one of her co-workers and tells her she will be right back and then leads me over to another part of the store. Sarah and I walk along chatting about our little excursion today and the look I was going for with the dress. “That will look so cute.” She exclaims as we walk up to the rack and she shows me the dress I am looking for. I thank her for her help locating exactly what I am looking for and then ask which way to hosiery. She points me in the direction. I begin to move off with the dress in hand but stop. I ask Sarah if she works on commission, and she tells me yes. I ask her if she could take the dress back to her station and I will meet her. I go and grab the socks and head back to meet up with Sarah. I pay for my items and thank her again for all her help. Sarah wishes me well and I head back to my friends.
As I approach Katie and Jenny I notice both are now smiling and shaking their heads. I look at them and ask “What?”
Katie speaks first ‘Girl, when you get on a roll lookout”! she says mockingly.
Jenny adds. “I think the only more determined shopper I have ever seen is, me!” The three of us break down in a fit of laughter as the teasing of my latest adventure in Nordstrom begins. Unlike several times when I would have felt slightly embarrassed by the boldness I have shown, I feel empowered. And that empowerment is convincing me more and more that his is right, that I am truly a better person like this. Now the issue will be the beautiful blonde who is walking next to me. I look over at her as we make our way back to my car so we can head home. Our eyes meet and share a look of affection. I then feel Jenny’s hand slowly and stealthily sliding into my hand and interlocking with mine. I was in heaven, but confused again. The question of Jenny and her feelings start running through my head again. As much as I love the feeling I once again can’t forget what Katie said. My head dropped a little as I try to process more of the situation and I can sense Jenny at my side feeling a little concern, thankfully before she can say anything, Katie proclaims what has seemed to become her catch phrase over the last week.
Not wanting to let Katie’s comment slide, I retort “And the Pope is Catholic” This promptly earns me light punch in the arm. I transfer the bags in my hand to my other hand and put my arm around Katie. “Sorry. It was too big an opening to leave sitting there” This earns a slight giggle from my ‘sister’ as the topic of food takes center stage over the day’s assault on my credit card.
“There is a neat old Italian place on Hennepin, Rosato’s, have either of you ever been there?” Jenny asks. Katie and I both shake our heads no. “Well then, let’s go there and then we can get my car.” Katie and I agree to this plan of action and the three of us head towards my car. It is not a direct path I find out, as both of the girls see things along the way that they have to stop and check out. I wasn’t entirely innocent in all of this, as I saw a dress and a pair of shoes that I felt I needed. Luckily after seeing price tags, I did not purchase anything. The same could not be said for my partners in crime. Katie found a pair of brown, lace up ankle boots she had to have Jenny bought ANOTHER pair of pumps. That would make two pairs of shoes on today’s trip alone. Add this to the 50 pairs she has back at the apartment and I would say the girl is out of control.
We finally make it to my car and head downtown to the restaurant Jenny has mentioned. Jenny pulls up in an alley behind a very old looking building. We hop out and walk down another alley that runs along one side of the building and find ourselves standing in front of an old, but not run down building with a large neon sign that says ‘Rosato’s’. Jenny assures Katie and I that this place has great old school Italian food. As we walk in and survey the dining room, we realize that if our parents were here, they we still be younger than most of the diners by about 25 years. A middle age man, who looks almost stereotypically Italian comes up to where we are standing. A booming voice comes from this man “Jenny! It’s been so long!”
“Hello Paul, it’s great to see you again. You have room for three girls tonight?” Jenny replies to the man.
“For you, always. Follow me.” And with that Jenny, Katie and I are led to a corner table near the back of the restaurant. Along the way Paul grabs a bottle of wine off of a small bar and pours each one of us a glass. He also motioned over a young looking waitress and introduces us. “This is my niece Marie; she will take care of you. Ladies enjoy your meal.” And Paul moves back to the front where the almost exact same ritual as we just experienced happens “Tom, Tammy great to have you back” we hear. I already like the feel of this place. Marie hands us each a menu and goes over the specials. She tells us she will give us a minute too look over the menu and moves off as well.
“If you like Italian food, you will love this place.” Jenny informs us. “My family has been coming here since it opened I think.”
We peruse the menu and I order the Beef Ravoili, Katie orders the Lasagna and Jenny orders the Pesto Linguine with Chicken. We chat about our days torture on my credit card as well as our plans for later on this evening. As we are waiting, Katie proposes a toast “To my two best friends, Jenny and Alexa. May their future together be a lot easier than the last few days. I don’t think I have ever been happier for two people than the two of you.” Jenny and I turn and look and look at each other and once again I can see the happiness in her eyes. I can’t imagine what my eyes are displaying. Knowing we are in a public place and that most of the people in the restaurant would not deal well with two girls kissing, our hands seek out each other’s under the table and grasps the other’s.
Our food arrives. The smells are incredible, but the taste is even better. I have always loved ravioli. Whoever though of stuffing meat into pasta and then covering it in a sauce is one of the greatest geniuses in human history. But if they were geniuses, the cooks here at Rosato’s were gods. “Jenny this is the best ravioli I have ever had. We will definitely be coming here again.” Jenny just smiles with the smile that might seem smug to others, but one that just shows she knew what she was talking about. Katie echoes similar thoughts about her Lasagna. Soon the three of us are offering each other a taste of others dinner. When it was my turn to try Jenny’s linguine however she personally fed it to me. I couldn’t believe how turned on I was by this action. I think that Jenny was just as turned on by the whole situation. The two of us started to lean into towards each other to share something more until the clearing of a throat broke the moment.
“Knock it off you two. You might give some of the old timers in here a heart attack if you kiss. Wait until you are in the car at least.” Katie chastises the two of us. We just giggle and continue on with our excellent meal. I soon reached a point where I could eat no more, but it looked like I had barely dented my plate. It appeared that Jenny and Katie were in the same situation I was in. We all had a full stomach and smile on our faces. Marie returns to our table and asks if we needed anything else. We assure her we do not, which cause Marie to giggle. “I usually can feed myself for a week with one meal here.” Marie tells us. “I’ll get you some boxes to take this home.” She leaves us and we sit back and bask in our gluttony. Marie returns with our boxes but also round of espressos and an order of Tiramisu. Before we can decline, Marie informs us that the desert and coffee are a form her Uncle. The Tiramisu is like the rest of the food here, incredible. It was a perfect end to a wonderful meal. We thanked Paul for everything and let him know how wonderful the meal was and that we would definitely be back. He said beautiful woman were always welcome, which made me blush slightly and we headed out into the twilight of a Friday night.
Soon we were back in my car and on our way the couple of blocks to where Jenny’s car is parked. It was determined during the drive there will be no stopping at Brady’s tonight. That is a relief. I do not want to run into that Derek again. Jenny hops out and Katie takes over behind the wheel, much to my dismay. Jenny laughs at me and hops into her car and drives off, leaving me with Katie driving my car. I know I really don’t have choice, but I am still scarred at this prospect. One thing that is good, is that I get a chance to have a little alone time with Katie.
“First off keep your attention on the road, but I want to ask you something. What do you think of everything that is going on? Me dressing more, me and Jenny?” I ask my best friend.
Even though I had lectured her, Katie looked over at me with a warm smile on her face. “I haven’t seen two people happier in a long time. You seem to be more at ease with the clothing and being Alexa and Jenny is just one gigantic smile. Just be careful OK? I know how you feel about her, just make sure this doesn’t consume you. I still want time with my sister.” Katie says.
It doesn’t take long and we are soon back at the apartment. Jenny is waiting for us in the underground garage to help haul up the days take to the girl’s apartment. It was decided that we would hang out tonight and watch TV or a movie. Katie ‘volunteers’ to go pick up a movie. I think she just wanted to get away from Jenny and I for a little bit. Katie was no sooner out the door that Jenny and I began kissing each other very deeply. She slowly pushed me back on the couch as was all over me, slowly rubbing her hands along my encased legs, while I couldn’t stop rubbing her near perfect rear end. I can’t believe that this is happening. This day has been incredible. But all of that is about to change.
From my purse on the table, I hear my phone ringing. It’s not just ringing, but it is the personalized ring of my parent’s home phone. Regretfully I slide myself out from under my new girlfriend and work my way over to the table, the whole time Jenny trying to pull me back to the couch. I giggle the whole way to my phone. Pulling the ringing object out of the purse, I take a deep breath before answering. “Hi mom.” I say as I listen to her talk about nothing. Finally, she asks a question and I begin to respond “I guess. Where? What time?” I now have committed myself to lunch. Looking over at the beautiful blonde on the couch I suddenly have an idea. “Mom, would you care if I brought someone with? OK, see you then. Bye Mom, love you too.” I stare at the phone for a moment trying to process the phone call. My mother wants to meet up for lunch because she is picking up my Aunt Laura from the airport tomorrow. Being that I haven’t seen her for about 2 months I figured I better. This will be interesting. She is going to want to know everything that is going on in my life. I want to tell her everything but know that would be a disaster. And then I invited Jenny. I want them to meet, but is now the right time? How will they get along? When I look over at Jenny, I realized I made the right decision to invite her along, now I just have to get her to come with.
I walk back over to the couch where I am instantly pulled to down by Jenny. We start where we left off, almost attacking each other right there on the couch. We break for a second to catch our breath. Jenny looks at me with a caring, loving look in her eyes. I can slowly feel my heart melting as I stare into the beautiful blue pools in front of me. “So what did your mother want Lex?” Jenny asks
I am unable to respond to Jenny as her eyes continue to draw me inn. I finally gain my senses, sort of. “Ah, my mother? Oh yeah. She has to pick my Aunt up at the airport tomorrow and wants to have lunch. Would you like to come?” I am almost shaking by the time I get to the end of my question. Jenny’s smile got even bigger than it had been, which didn’t seem possible.
“Of course I do. Why would you be scared of asking?”
I feel myself slipping back into my ‘Alex’ shell as I try to come up with an answer. Why would I be scared of asking? Oh. Let’s think about it. Here is a relatively geeky guy dressed up in women’s clothes. What woman would want that? I can feel a tear begin to form in my eye as I ponder how to answer. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to be scared of my own shadow. I want to be Alexa. “I am afraid you won’t like me as Alex?” I state meekly.
Jenny slowly backs away from me and I start to feel my whole world crash around me. The tears are really starting to form. Finally, Jenny speaks “Do you really think I would care less about you if you were Alex?” I nod my head very lightly, feeling like I am a little boy being chastised for spilling paint. The next thing I know I am being enveloped in a huge hug by Jenny. “Do you really think I am only acting this way because you are Alexa?” I just look at her again with the same sad look. “Lex, I like YOU! I want to be with YOU! I don’t care whether you are Alex or Alexa. I care about YOU. I want YOU to be happy.” The broad smile is back on Jenny’s face again and I once again find myself enveloped in her arms. The tears continue but this time they are tears of happiness. I pull away from Jenny and give her a long sensuous kiss that leads into a little heavier petting before we are one again interrupted.
“Oh God! Get a room you two!” Katie groans as she returns from getting some movies. Jenny and I both giggle at Katie’s comment before Jenny stands up and begins pulling me along.
“OK. See you tomorrow!” Jenny says to her roommate as she pulls me along to her room. I just shrug my shoulders at Katie with a huge smile across my face. As Katie starts to protest about being left alone and all the movies she has rented, Jenny starts laughing, telling her we are just going to get changed and that she should do the same. Jenny and I both change out of our clothes into something more comfortable for watching movies. This proves to be a little difficult as the two of are constantly finding ways to touch the other, each time the touched reminding the toucher about Katie.
After I have stripped down to nothing but the thong I had been wearing all day, I realize that my Mickey Mouse Pajamas are in Katie’s room. Before I can put something on to go get them, Jenny holds up a bag from Victoria’s Secret. I had completely forgotten about the Camisole and Tap pants set I had bought and eagerly put them on along with the matching silk kimono style robe. The feel is exquisite. Jenny dresses in silk pajama set in peach that looks absolutely stunning on her. I can’t help but give her one more kiss before we return to the living room with a blanket and cuddle up on the couch and watch Katie’s movie selection. As we are watching the movie I marvel at how natural everything feels at this moment. That this is where I belong, cuddled up on the couch with the woman I care more about than anything and my best friend eating popcorn watching a movie and just generally enjoying one another’s company. I did have to give Katie a little bit of a fashion show with my new sleeping attire, but other than that I just felt like I was one of the girls.
Soon the movie was over and the three us began to talk about everything. Katie asked if Jenny and I had any big plans for tomorrow. That’s when I realized that we hadn’t told Katie about lunch with my mother. I told Katie about taking Jenny to meet my mother. “That should be fun! Will this be the second girlfriend you have brought to meet Char?” Katie asks. Second, who was the first I think. I sit and stare at Jenny and finally asks who the first one was. I am promptly hit with a couch pillow. “Me you dummy.” I look down with a blush on my face, before I am comforted by a hug from Katie.
“I guess I never thought of you as my girlfriend Kate. You were always the sister I never had.” This earns me huge hug from Katie. I feel so accepted when I am around these two not some object that gets pushed to the corner like I do normally. Is that because of me being Alexa or is it because I can let my guard down and be me when I am around them? Or is letting my guard down what makes me be Alexa? It’s all very confusing but I don’t want to think about it anymore. I don’t want any deeper thought; I just want to enjoy the situation at hand.
Soon Jenny and I retreat to her room for the evening, saying our good nights to Katie but not before receiving another hug and being reminded by Katie that she will always be my sister. As we crawl under the sheets of Jenny’s bed I am reminded of how wonderful these last few days have been as Jenny moves in and gives me a huge kiss. Not passionate like it was early in the evening but more loving. Of course I try and reciprocate the action and am met with enthusiasm. This continues on for some time and rather than beginning to attack each other we just curl up together and fall asleep. At least Jenny did. I lay awake for some time just watching her, feeling each breath that she took and marveling at how beautiful she truly was. I couldn’t help but feel like I was the luckiest man around. It was that thought that started messing with my head. The question of am I Alexa, am I in this position because I am Alexa even though Jenny tells me otherwise? The confusion continues to mount and I feel myself crying a little as I drift off to sleep.
The next morning Jenny and I slept in as we really didn’t’ have to be anywhere before 11;30, To sleep even until 9:30 was a luxury. I was awake before Jenny and when I tried to move she cuddled in even closer. What a great way to start the morning. Jenny slowly woke up and looked at me and smiled as she whispered good morning. I could have died right there. This was the greatest morning of my life! Unfortunately I soon realized it was going to be one of my toughest afternoons ever. I extract myself from Jenny’s grip reluctantly and made my way to the bathroom. As I look in the mirror I still see Alexa and begin to feel sad that she is going to go away for a while. I wish I had the strength to tell my parents how I really feel, but that will never happen. The ridicule and scorn from Dick-head would be too much for me to handle. I shower and shave and head back to Jenny’s room where she has laid out clothes for me. But these are not normally what I wear. First was a pair of the jeans I purchased yesterday and a Maroon knit sweater that must be one of the girls. While it is a fairly neutral choice of clothes I get nervous about them, but not as nervous as the things lying next to them. Laid out is a white thong and camisole. I get nervous and just stand there starring at the items. Jenny comes up from behind me and wraps her arms around me and puts her head on my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if I can wear these things Jen. It might be pushing it a little.’ I reply.
“It might be, but they are pretty gender neutral. I think you will be fine.” Jenny says.
“I’ll do it, but I am going to wear my Chuck Taylor’s. Gives me a little more masculine look.” I say trying to act tough. This just makes Jenny giggle and soon I am too. She says that it is fine and heads off to the shower. I get dressed and head to the kitchen where I find Katie looking at her phone and eating breakfast. “Good morning, Sis” I say to her with a grin on my face as I grab a cup of coffee.
“Good morning Alex? I think” Katie says looking me over . “Are you Alex today? Oh, that’s right you have lunch with Char today. You’re looking a little androgynous today. Your idea?”
“No Jenny’s. She wanted to try and push the limit. I sort of did win. I at least get to wear my Chuck’s.” I try and say proudly. All this does is make Katie laugh and cough up some of her Cheerios.
“Oh yeah. Chucks. Real masculine.” Katie says while trying not to choke on a mouth full of cereal. I flash a semi indignant look before breaking out into laughter. After a swallowing her food, Katie says “How are you doing today?”
As I attempt to answer Katie, I can’t help but break out into a huge smile. “Katie I don’t think I have ever been happier. Jenny and I talked a little more last night while you were out. I still can’t believe that I am with her. Add to that the fact she is accepting of Alexa makes me even happier.” As I get out these words I feel a hug from behind me and wet hair against mine as Jenny hugs me.
“I’m pretty happy too!” Jenny says as she leans over and kisses me.
“God you two.” Katie moans. “I’m not going to tell you to get a room because you might take me up on it. Just no PDA around Char OK. You don’t want to give the woman a heart attack. That her little baby has a serious girlfriend.” Katie pinches my cheek as she walks past us to put her bowl in the kitchen. Jenny and I sit and giggle and kiss a little more before she heads to her room to finish getting ready. Katie watches her roommate leave the room before sitting next to me. “You were about to say something else before Jenny walked up weren’t you?”
“I was going to say that I am still kind of nervous about what is going on. Jenny says she likes me. It doesn’t matter if I am Alexa or Alex, but I still don’t know. It just seems odd that Jenny would want to be with me.” I tell Katie.
“Alex, I would be lying if I didn’t have the same concerns, until this morning. I have lived with Jenny for 2 years and I can honestly say I have never seen her this happy. Just go for it. I got your back. You two seem so good together.” Katie assures me. And that answer put me back in a good mood. For a minute. It was then a new fear hit me. I look up at Katie with a little terror in my eyes. “What is it now?” Katie sighs
“Now I’m nervous about Jenny and my mom. How do you think that is going to work?” I ask my ‘sister’.
That question earns huge laugh out of Katie. “I would definitely be more nervous of that! Jenny is going to be nothing compared to her and Char!” Katie states and I begin to laugh along with her. Jenny had walked into the room during Katie’s comments about my mother. I turned and looked at her and could see her start to become a little frightened. Obviously nervous, she asks Katie and I a question.
“What should I be afraid of?”
Katie walks over to her roommate in attempt to console her. “Nothing. Char’s great, but you are trying to take her baby away from her.” Katie erupts into laughter. For a second Jenny starts to try and get out of this lunch trip but Katie assures her it will be all right. Katie speaks up one last time as Jenny and I head out the door. “God I wish I didn’t have to work. This could be so fun to watch!” Jenny, in a very unladylike manner flips her roommate the bird as we leave the apartment. As we head down to Jenny’s car I can still see that she is extremely nervous and no matter what I do, she can’t shake it. She is so nervous she even asks me to drive her car. I chuckle a little but do feel sympathy for her plight. I am not exactly enthralled about meeting up with my mother. I would love to tell her what is truly happening in my life, but I know all it will do is cause more drama than I am ready for at this stage.
After a tense drive down to the Bloomington Strip, we find ourselves outside of Chi-Chi’s. While it would not be my first choice of Mexican Restaurants, my mother absolutely loves it. I scan the parking lot looking for my mother’s car. I see it and the panic begins. Jenny and I both get out of the car and begin walking to the door hand in hand. We must have looked like two people on their way to death row. Jenny was gripping my hand tightly and I was shaking. As we got to the door, I pulled her aside and asked her if she was ready. She nodded her head and tried to force a smile on her face. We step inside and Jenny takes off for the rest room immediately. Soon she is back and I take her hand as a hostess shows us to my mother’s table.
As we come into view of my mother, I watch her eyes go as wide as dinner plates as she spots Jenny next to me holding my hand. Jenny and I stand at the table where my mother seems too stunned to move. “Mom, I’d like you to meet Jenny Thompson. Jenny, this is my mother Charlotte Quinn.” Jenny is almost overly enthusiastic in greeting my mother, who is still just sitting there with a stunned expression on her face. Out of the corner of my mouth I attempt to get my mother’s attention. “Mom. Mom.” Finally, she collects herself and stands and extends her hand.
“Jenny, it’s nice to meet you.” My mother says in a confused voice.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you too Mrs. Quinn.” Jenny says somewhat more relaxed, I think.
“Please call me Charlotte. So, how did you two meet?” my mother asks, waiting for this to be some sort of set up.
“We met freshman year. I’m Katie Fahey’s roommate. But we only started seeing each other last week.” Jenny responds to my mother’s inquiry. I just flash a big smile as my mother just nods as she processes this information before launching into another round of questions.
“So that means you two live right by each other. Well, isn’t that convenient.” I cringe as my mother says this. For a second I thought my mother had morphed into Dana Carvey’s Church Lady. Even though my mother teaches at the Catholic grade school in my hometown, I wouldn’t call her a bible banger, but she does uphold many of the tenants of the Church of Rome. Premarital sex might be one of those beliefs she feels strongly about but I have never asked her. Jenny’s reply to mother’s comment almost convinced me that I was going to hear about her views.
“It’s very convenient. I can see Lex just about anytime I want.” I am not sure what caused my spit take, Jenny’s comment or the use of my nickname. My mother just nods her head as she reloads for another volley.
“Well at least he is getting some home cooking, or don’t you cook dear.” My mother shot out.
“I can barely boil water. Lex does the cooking. He is an excellent cook.” Jenny states somewhat smugly.
Much to my relief or chagrin, a truce is called as the waitress appears. Having not had a chance to review the menu, she asks if we would like anything to drink. By the look on my mother’s face I could tell she wanted a drink more than anything, but knew she would never drink and drive, she asks for an Iced Tea, while Jenny and I each order a Diet Coke. We begin perusing the menu. Jenny deftly reaches under the table and grabs my hand. We look at each other and share a silent moment while out of the corner of my eye I can see my mother and her little half glasses peering over the menu at the two of us. Eventually we all settle on something to eat, my mother going with the rather uninspired Chimichanga where Jenny orders the Chicken Enchiladas and I go with the Fish Tacos. As the waitress moves off I silently wish I had a bell so I could signal the start of Round 2.
This time the opening salvo comes from Jenny. “So Mrs. Quinn, I mean Charlotte, where is Mr. Quinn today? Couldn’t get him to take you to lunch?”
“Heaven’s no.” My mother replies with a chuckle. “I couldn’t get Dick anywhere near the Cities unless it is for a game or a Hunting and Fishing show.”
Jenny continues the offensive. “That’s interesting. It’s surprising that Alex isn’t like that. Was Alex much of an outdoorsman when he was younger?”
“No, never. Alex was much more of an ‘indoorsman’. He would rather read or play video games than go out hunting and fishing. I tried to work on that. I did teach him to cook which sounds like a skill he is still using.” My mom says.
I watch an evil smile form on my girlfriend ‘s face “If you can ever get him away from those silly video games.” My mother throws her head back and begins a very hearty laugh. I mouth the words “ass kisser” at my girlfriend who flashes a very smug smile in my direction. I just shake my head as I watch Jenny begin playing a game. A game I had no idea how was going to end.
“I had the same problem as well. Worst thing we ever bought was a PlayStation. He doesn’t blow you off for that silly contraption too, does he?” my mother asks still laughing.
“Not as much he used to.” Jenny says giving me a discrete wink. “So what was Alex like when he was little? Katie has told me so much about what Alex was like in Middle School and High School, but I’d like to know what he was little. Was he a happy kid?”
“He was a very happy child. He was kind of a mama’s boy. Until he was about five, he would never leave my side. It was like I had this person growing off my hip. Actually, I kind of miss it. When he was little, he always said when he grew up he wanted be like me. It was so cute. There was one time when he was about 3 that I found him in one of my dresses and high heels. He had taken a tube of lipstick and tried to put it on. It looked like war paint. He had it all over like some cheap drag queen. Can you imagine that.” My mother says, as I turn as red as a fire truck. I can’t believe that she just told that story. But it is what is said next the even embarrasses me more.
“I can imagine.” Jenny says with that same wicked smile. She quickly tries to cover herself “I mean, I remember hearing a story of my cousin being caught in a similar situation but with his sister’s things. He had three older sisters and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t wear dresses like them.” My mother chuckles at this and I just stare open mouth at Jenny as she tells her little tale.
“Don’t get any ideas Jen.” I ‘warn’ my girlfriend.
“Awe, I think it would be cute” Jenny says as she puts an arm around me. I whisper in her ear that she can do it tonight if she wants. Jenny continues to pester my mother about any more embarrassing stories. Thankfully my mother doesn’t reveal anything too bad. Only things like wetting my pants during the Kindergarten Spring Concert, attempting to make her breakfast on Mother’s Day when I was about seven and managed to somehow get jelly on the ceiling of the kitchen are told. Before anymore horror stories could be told the food arrives. I have never been more thankful for the interruption of waitress in my life.
The conversation continues over the meal. More just typical family stuff is revealed by mother. How I never got along with my brothers as they were much older than me. How because of how I hated hunting and fishing my father and I were kind of distance. As we neared the end, my mother started to quiz Jenny a little about her family. As Jenny described her parents and what they did, my mother suddenly burst out “Pardon me, you are one of THE Thompsons?”
With a confidence that could only come from someone who has lived with that question their whole life, Jenny responds “Yes I am”. My mother’s eyes went wide as she realized I had gotten extremely lucky in my girlfriend. Cleary confused as what to say next, my mother wipes her mouth and excuses herself and heads to the restroom. I pully Jenny close and give her a big kiss. “I think she likes me.” Jenny proclaims. I tell her I agree, but then again she has only met one of my girlfriends before, so she hasn’t had much to compare to. Jenny playfully punches me and we both giggle. I lean over and give Jenny another kiss that turns more passionate before we are interrupted by the clearing of a throat at the table.
“Can’t leave you two alone for a second. I’m going to have to call Katie and tell her to keep an eye on you two.” My mother says with a smile. It was at this point I knew mother had accepted Jenny. Now if I could just get her to accept Alexa and then my life would be complete. But as soon as I thought that I realized that I needed two more people to accept Alexa a little more deeply. Jenny and myself. The thought of Alexa put me into a zone where I felt I was watching the conversation at the table as an outsider. I could see my mother, my girlfriend and some guy talking away. Who is this guy with Jenny? He looks familiar, but he shouldn’t be sitting next to Jenny, I should. At the point, I start to feel angry about the situation. I can feel it brewing inside me, and then all sudden it abruptly comes to a halt as Jenny speaks to me.
“Lex, you OK?” I can see a very concerned look on Jenny’s face as I come out of my self-induced trance. I nod and give Jenny a smile before I pull myself together. I look over at my mother and see a similar look of concern on her face she asks me if I am sure I am feeling OK. I assure her that I am, I was just thinking of something. It appears that my mother has accepted my excuse but I can tell that Jenny hasn’t but she is acting like she has.
It isn’t long before my mother realizes that she needs to head out and get my aunt from the airport. After my mother pays the bill we head out to the parking lot where Jenny and my mother exchange the usual pleasantries of good byes of two people who have just met and my mother gives me an awkward but nonetheless motherly hug and telling me to take care of myself and Jenny. She also tells Jenny to take care of her son. Jenny assure my mother she will as we watch my mother get into her car and drive off. No sooner has mom’s car pulled out the parking lot and Jenny pulls me in for a tight hug. “Are you OK? You scared the shit out me back there. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” I admit to my new girlfriend. “One minute I was sitting there enjoying a kiss with you and the next thing it was like I was floating above the table. It seemed like someone else was sitting at the table with you and Mom. “Jenny just pulls me in and gives me a big hug. I am really confused and feel like the world is staring at me.
“We need to get you out of here. I think we should go take a walk. I think there are some things that you and I need to talk about” Jenny says. These words feel like a bucket of cold water being dumped on me. I start to shake until Jenny pulls me in her arms again. “You have nothing to worry about.” Jenny says. I reluctantly hand her the keys to her car and we head off eventually arriving at Lake Nokomis.
After parking the car, Jenny stops me before I get out of the car. Taking a deep breath, she looks at me and asks me a question that may seem odd to most people, but to me it seemed fairly normal. “Would you feel more comfortable if you were a little more Alexa than Alex?” With tears forming in my eyes I nod silently and look towards the beautiful blonde at the wheel. A knowing smile creeps across her face. She hands me her purse and quietly says to fix my face as she reaches around to the back seat and grabs a bag I hadn’t noticed. I quickly don a light layer of eyeshadow and mascara. I follow with a little blush and some lip gloss. Jenny hands me the bag she had retrieved and inside a found a pair of brown boots with a slightly lower heal than normal and brown women’s leather bomber jacket. While most people would have considered it unisex, to me it was obviously very feminine. I brush my hair out a little and put a pair of studs in my ears. While not completely looking like Alexa, it is closer to her than Alex. As I double check everything in the small mirror on the visor I feel a sense of calm come over me. Did Jenny realize what was happening back at Chi-Chi’s?
Jenny nods her approval at my appearance and the two of us get out of the car and begin walking along the paved path by the lake. One thing about Minneapolis I have always loved is the lakes and the paths surrounding them. Being October the leaves had started to change and it was an almost picture perfect day, all be it a little chilly. Walking hand in hand, Jenny looks at me and asks me again about what happened at the restaurant. “It was really odd. There I was as Alex one minute and the next thing I feel like I am watching everything from outside the group. You were sitting there with me at your side chatting with my mother, but I felt jealous. I knew it was me sitting there with you, but is wasn’t. Do you know what I mean?” Jenny just nods her head as I continue to struggle with my feelings of the whole situation. “It almost felt like you were happy having Alex there and Alexa had been pushed to the side.”
Jenny stops walking and spins me towards her. “You have nothing to be afraid of Lex. As I said last night I just want you to be happy. I don’t care who you are. You are one of the most sensitive, caring people I have ever met. I have felt this way for a long time, but didn’t know how to express it. I was not raised to be concerned with other’s happiness, just my own. It was actually a pretty shitty way to grow up. “
I give Jenny a quick hug as she says this before we continue moving on. The discussion begins to get a little deeper. We talk about my feelings of being Alexa and my experiences to this point. I ask Jenny the question that has been in the back of my mind since this whole thing started. “I need to know something. Is this something that you planned? Did you want to change me into Alexa?” There I said it. I had asked the question that had been bottled up inside of me for the last week and a half and had seemed to be controlling my actions. I braced myself for the answer.
“Oh my god. Is that what you think?” Jenny asks me. However, the tone of her voice was not what I expected. Instead of being mad that I might have accused her of being manipulative the tone was one of caring and concern. “God no. Like I have said a thousand time I just want you to be happy. I could see how being Alexa was affecting you. How a new person came out, and as much as I cared for Alex I could see someone who was happy with themselves when Alexa appeared. You became a new person. A person that needs to be part of the world. Part of my world I had hoped. I always cared for Alex, but Alexa pushed my feeling to a completely new direction. It has been a long time since I cared for someone like I care about you Alexa. I did not go into this trying to change you into something you are not. Heck I have never even thought about being with another woman. It actually made me cringe before. The closest I ever came to a lesbian encounter was last year at the St. Patrick’s Day party where I gave that kiss to Katie. I was so bombed I thought it would be funny to take her up on the ‘Kiss me I’m Irish’ button. The most excitement I got out of that was seeing the shock on everyone’s faces.” Jenny completed her speech with a giggle.
I could almost physically feel the relief wash over me following Jenny’s words. It was like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. Almost. I knew I still had to deal with my family, but knowing that this was not some sort of set up made me feel relieved. I pulled Jenny in for the most passionate kiss I think I have ever attempted. And luckily, that passion I felt was reciprocated. I can’t believe that this was happening! I am standing here in public sharing one of the most intense moments of life with the most beautiful person I have ever met. We slowly break the kiss and we look into each other’s eyes. I can see the warmth, the caring and dare I say love in Jenny’s eyes as we stand there. Slowly parting from a facing position we take each other by the hand and continue to walk along enjoying the beautiful fall day and each other’s company.
As we continued to stroll along the lake shore, I could feel the two of us becoming closer with each step. I knew then and there that I could tell Jenny anything and I decided that it was time to see if she had similar feelings. I summoned up every bit of courage and decided to ask her the one other question that had always been there about her. “Jenny, I want to ask you something, and if you don’t want to tell me I will completely understand. There is something I have noticed change in you over the last few days. When I first met you, there was a sadness in your eyes. But over the last few days that sadness seemed to disappear. Can I ask why the sadness?” Jenny let out a sigh and I watched her shoulders slump slightly as she kind of fell into my arms. Her reaction was not one I was expecting. Looking around, I saw a bench and guided Jenny over. I sat down next to her and held her. I could hear her softly crying into my chest. Not knowing what else to do I just held her closely.
After what seemed like an eternity, Jenny slowly sat up and I could see that the sad look returned to her eyes. Through the sniffling Jenny apologized for breaking down like she had. I tried my hardest to comfort her and to assure her it was alright. She gave me a huge hug and tried to set up a little straighter. Soon she began to speak.
“I don’t think I have ever told you much about my family have I?” I shake my head and silently urge Jenny to continue. “My family is pretty messed up. Sure my family has money, but there is little love there. My father pretty much works all the time so he doesn’t have to put up with my mother and I. My mother basically just spends money for something to do, other than drink. Sure they both put on the happy couple routine around others, but at home they hardly speak to one another. I am basically an afterthought in their life. They could give a damn what I do. I am basically just a prop in their life for those public moments. But there is a reason for that. It’s a reason very few people outside of my family’s immediate circle know much about.” The tears continue to form in her eyes and before she can say anything further she latches on to me again and breaks down completely. I am at a loss as to what to say, but through the tears that the source of Jenny’s unhappiness comes out.
“I used to have a sister.” Jenny states in an emotional voice before clamping down on me again. The comment completely floors me and instinctively I pull Jenny tighter into me. I had no idea. Katie has never said anything to me about it. Maybe she doesn’t even know. I am at a loss for what to do so I just continue to hold her tighter than I probably have ever held anyone before. The two of us just sit there. Jenny clinging to me as I look out at the lake, contemplating what to say next. Luckily for me Jenny lifts her head and between sobs, attempts to tell me about her sister.
“Her name was Abigail, or Abby as I called her. She was five years younger than me. She was the most beautiful and happy little girl I have ever known. She had the biggest smile in the world that could light up a room. I was closer to her than I have ever been to anyone in the world. I doted on her and she was always trying to act like me. And unlike many older sisters, I loved it. She was the most precious thing in the world to me. Because of our family life we spent a lot of time together. That’s what makes her death all the harder on me. I wasn’t there when it happened. It was the summer I turned thirteen. I had gone away to camp and Abby was supposed to follow me up a week later. The story as I know it is that my mother decided she had to go out for some reason. Probably had some guy she was screwing and she left Abby with the maid. Abby was down at the end of the dock and slipped and fell into the lake. I guess the maid was too busy doing her own thing and never heard my sister screaming. A few hours later my mother came home and that is when she found Abby floating face down, dead from drowning. My mother went down a rabbit whole. She lost herself. I knew that something was up when that night as I was summoned to the main cabin at camp and my father was standing there. I knew right away that something had happened. When I asked if it was my mom, my dad just shook his head. I remember immediately breaking down in a screaming and crying fit and my father helping me into the car. That was the longest drive I have ever taken. The next few days were a blur. Looking back on it, I don’t ever remember my mother consoling me at all. I knew she had lost a daughter but I was her child and I lost a sister. I felt left out. The real fun came the night after the funeral. The argument between my parents was epic. Each one blaming the other for Abby’s death. My mother even blamed me. I was at camp; how could this be my fault? After that, I pretty much went into a shell. My whole life up until now has pretty much been just me going through the motions. I hardly speak to my parents unless it is a family event. As you could see from our shopping trips, I really don’t care about how much of their money I spend. Like I said, this is not something I tell everybody. I have never even told Katie. But over the last couple of weeks, things have slowly been changing. I found myself happier than I have been since I lost Abby.”
Jenny had seemed to quell the crying. Feeling bold I decided to ask, “What has started making you so happy.” The response was not one that I ever expected or even dreamed of. Jenny opened her mouth and said one word. One word that will stick with me forever.
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think. Did Jenny just tell me that I made her happy? Me. The geeky guy from across the hall. But how? Either being really curious or really stupid I asked the question out loud. “Me?”
Jenny smiled a huge smile as she prepared to answer that question. “Yes you. You are probably he kindest, gentlest person I have met. Every day we have spent together has driven home that fact. I don’t care what you wear. I don’t care if you dress like Marilyn Manson. I just want you to be happy. God knows there has been enough sadness in my life. Whatever I can do to help you be happy I will do it.” Jenny leaned in and gave me the most tender kiss I had ever received in my life. I knew at that moment I would do everything in my power to keep this gorgeous woman with me.
We slowly broke the kiss and we just held each other and looked out at the boats on the lake. It was the most peaceful thing I had ever felt. I kept thinking how different my life would have been if I would have said no on that Thursday. Would I be in this position if I had? Probably not. Besides my family, would I have ever the tenderness and love I feel now? And the answer comes back the same. No. Jenny slowly unwraps herself from my body and pulls me up. We walk hand in hand back to her car. Not a word was said for most of the way. As we approached the car I summoned up the courage to verify Jenny’s feelings again. “So you don’t care if I am Alexa?”
Jenny wraps her arms around me and says “Like I said, I don’t care if you want to look like David Beckham or Victoria Beckham. As long as it is my Lex underneath it all, I will be happy. I just want you to be happy.” With that we shared another kiss. As we broke away from each other I said one of the thing that would change my life forever.
“I want to be Alexa.”
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