Without Direction - Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

Emily was surprised I was born a boy, but looked like a girl. “Oh… um… your a boy?”

“I’m a girl!” I protested.

“Sorry,” Emily apologized. “You’re the first transgender I have ever met in person that looked like a girl.”

“What do you mean?” I cocked my head to one side looking into her eyes.

“Because everyone I have seen, usually still looks male and doesn’t even put on makeup.”

“You might be surprised. One of your customers, may be transgender and you won’t even know it.” I put my hands on my hips. “Don’t think that everyone acts and dresses the same. Besides, you don’t have to wear makeup to look pretty. I’m not wearing makeup.”

“Of course not, your too young to wear makeup. You got to be…What? Eight or Nine years old?

“I just turned eight on July 6.”

“So have you been transgender all your life?”

“Ever since I can remember, I have known I was a girl. and I was scared to tell my mommy and daddy. I do know that my daddy had accepted me, because he has a lot of gay friends, I’m not sure about my mommy. She wasn’t happy with my daddy hanging out with those guys.”

“So, you mom was homophobic?”

“What’s homophobic?” I never heard of that word.

“Homophobic or homophobia is the fear against people that are gay and lesbian. It can also be fear of people that are bisexual and transgender as well. But with bisexuals there’s also biphobia and transgenders there’s transphobia.”

“I guess my mommy was that way...” my eyes started tearing up. I have a feeling she hated me being transgender and was trying to find a way to get rid of me. That may be why she left me at the airport. All this time, I thought something happened to her.

Emily hugged me. It’s okay, I will find a place for you. I will try to find a place here in San Francisco for you if...”

“No!” I screamed.

“What is it sweetie?”

“I don’t want to be in San Francisco.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I have been miss treated here. This is where I was abandoned. I have been trying to leave this city for a long time now.”

“Don’t worry Ashley, I will search for a good place for you to go to.” She looks at me and smiles. Well, enough chatting and get out of those wet clothes and into the bathtub.”

I giggle.

As I got out of my clothes I put a washcloth over my hated spot of my body and stepped into the big bathtub that had bumpy holes on the sides of it. I was very interested in the holes. I wasn’t sure what it was.

Emily saw me inspecting the tub. I could hear her giggle or something. I looked over at her.

“It’s known as a hot-tub or a Jacuzzi. It shoots air out of those holes and makes bubbles. But the only bubbles that will be making in your bath will be from Mr. Bubble.” She takes out a pink bottle out of the cupboard, turns on the tub and pours in the soap. As soon as the soap hits the water, it makes a lot of bubbles.

She notices the wash cloth between my legs. “Why do you hide your penis?”

“I don’t have a p… p… that thing.” I cried.

She shakes her head.

“Okay, how about I call it your vagina?”

“It don’t look like a vagina.” I giggle.

“It’s either a vagina or it’s a...”

“Okay, it’s a vagina!” I giggle.

“I’ll be right back, don’t touch anything while I am gone. I sit there playing with the bubbles and making boobies out of them. I was having a lot of fun. Emily came in, saw me making boobies and laughed.

“You know, most kids try to be Santa Claus.”

“But I don’t want a beard, I want boobies.”

Emily chuckles and hands me a bucket. “Here are some toys to play with.”

“How come you have bubble bath and toys?” I asked her.

“Well, for your information, I am a grandmother and have taken care of my own children in the past.”

“You are a grandma?” my eyes were open wide.

Emily chuckled. “Yes, I am. I am old enough to be yours. My children are in their twenties and my grandchildren are about your age.” I watch as she takes out another bottle from the cupboard. “Hold on, while I wash your hair”

She takes a bit of shampoo and pours it in my hair and starts scrubbing. I don’t know when the last time I had it washed, but I am glad it was getting washed.

“God girl, your hair is so dirty, how long were you out there?” she rinses my hair and adds more shampoo to it to scrub it again.

“I don’t know. It feels like a few weeks, but it may have been a month. I don’t have a calendar. Ow!”

“Sorry!” One last rinse and I am playing with the toys. “Oh you’re a blonde.”

“Duh!”

“With all that dirt, you looked like a brunet.” I looked up at her confused. She looked back at me, figuring out I didn’t know what she meant by brunet. “A person with brown hair.”

“Ooh” I smiled. I went back to playing with the toys. I have never played with Barbie dolls before, but have been dying to. Mommy never got them for me and it always made me sad. “Where are you going Barbie?” said Ken

“I am going swimming with my sisters Skipper and Stacy,” said Barbie

At least this Barbie doll isn’t singing that dumb Barbie girl song.

I ended up playing with Barbie for a long time. Barbie went swimming like she said, but while she was at the beach, she met this guy named Wolverine that was hanging around in the bucket. They fell in love and Ken got jealous and then started fighting with Wolverine, which didn’t end well.

I’m not sure how everything went, because I had to get out of the tub. Emily came into the room with some clothes, which she had folded up. I wasn’t she what she had for me, but it would be better than the clothes I was wearing. Anything was better than the clothes I was wearing. I had been wearing those clothes for God knows how long.

I got out of the bath and dried off. I hated drying off the dumb thing below. I wish it would just fall off or disappear. When I was done drying off, I went to the counter and grabbed the clothes. It was light blue. I picked it up and cried.

It was a dress.

A dress and a pear of panties that matched.

After I wiped my tears, I put on the panties and then for the first time in my life, I put on my first dress ever. It made me very happy to finally wear a dress. I walked over to the door mirror and saw how I looked. I looked pretty. I looked like a girl. Not just any girl, a girly girl. I didn’t look like a tomboyish girl anymore.

I stepped out of the bathroom and out in the hallway to be greeted by a smiling Emily.

“You’re so adorable.” Emily cooed.

“Thank you, “I blushed and ran over to hug her.

~o~O~o~

“Double mocha latte with extra crème,” said a man at the counter of the coffee shop.

I watched Emily make coffee while I colored a picture. She and her workers were busy today. I found out that Emily is the owner of the Coffee Bean and that’s why she left yesterday.

The one known as Carmela is a single mother that needed the extra hours so, she didn’t mind working late. I just wished that her children were here. I am lonely being here all alone. I keep thinking that this one man is staring at me. It’s freaking me out.

I sipped on my hot cocoa while coloring a mermaid. I love mermaids. Sometimes I wish I was a mermaid. Why do I wish I was a mermaid? Well, because mermaids and mermans look the same below the waist.

“Ashley?”

I look up from my picture and stare at Emily.

“Could you be a dear and help me.”

I shake my head, yes.

“We are running low on coffee creamer, would you go over to the Shell Building across the street, to the office and pick some up.” She hands me the key to the office and also a sheet of paper. “This is for if you have any problems.”

“Okay.” I happily skip out of the cafe and head across the street. But then I stop dead in my tracks.

The building she had me go to, was the same building I was told never to go back in to again, or the police would be called. The security guard might see me and recognize me. I start to panic.

I look back at the cafe and promised Emily I would get the creamer and I slowly walk towards the building.

As I walk in, I walk passed the seat I usually sit down on. I try not to look at it, trying not to draw attention to it. I am very nervous. I look at the number on the key, which helps me find the location to the office. It’s on the second floor. I head toward the elevators. I am cautiously looking for the security guard, knowing that he could be catching up to me at any minute.

I make it to the elevators and press the button confused on why the guard hasn’t come to me yet. The door opens and I hop on and press the number 2 button. As I go up, I breath a sigh of relief, but wonder why I am. I still am in the building. The door opens and I jump. That same security guard was right outside the door of the elevator.

“May I help you young lady?” the dumb security guard asks.

I hand him the papers that Emily gave me. My hand was shaking the whole time. He grabs it, opens it and reads the papers. The next thing I hear was him chuckling.

“Like always, Emily runs out of something. Follow me young lady.” He walks down the hall towards her office, where I stand there looking dumb. “Well, aren’t you going to open it?”

“Oh.” I grab the key and open the door.

“Grab some Stevia as well, just to be safe, it’s her most popular sugar substitute.” he chuckled. “Oh and say hi to her for me, will you?” He walks off. I grab a box of the coffee creamer and some Stevia as well and locked up the office and head back to the cafe. I am relieved he didn’t recognize me.

When I got back, Emily took the creamer from my hands. “Thank You so much” She noticed the Stevia. “Oh, how’d you know we needed some more Stevia? I felt a little silly sending you there for creamer and no Stevia. Did you have any problems while you were there?”

“No,” I giggled. “No problems at all.”

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Comments

good story liked it always

good story liked it always someone being a jerk but she be ok I think

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I guess she learned not all

I guess she learned not all people are the same despite having the same jobs. And good for Emily! Guess it took a REAL mother to see that Ashley needed help not pity. I hope she can get her that help but I don't trust social services or someone with similar feelings as her womb donor to keep toss a wrench at Emily's plans.

I'm told STFU more times in a day than most people get told in a lifetime