Nikki, part 24

“I, Nicola Christine Thomas,” I whisper as tears start to trickle from my eyes. “Take you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips…”

“Beep,” the minister says, derailing my train of thought. “Beep, beep, beep, beep….” I let out a long sigh as the pristine white veil of my wedding dress is replaced by the dark brown veil of my hair, which had flopped down in front of my face whilst I was sleeping.

“Morning,” I whisper to the beautiful girl whose face is the first thing I see every morning when I wake up- and whose own brown hair is, of course, tied back and away from her face.

“Morning,” Sarah mumbles, smiling as I lean in to give her a gentle wake-up kiss.

“Really?” I ask with a tired giggle. “Thought you’d already be up when I woke up, excited, ready to go…”

“After the last couple of weeks we had?” Sarah asks, making me giggle. “Though now I’m awake, no time to waste, hehe!” I smile as Sarah slides her naked body out of bed and pads over to her en-suite, whilst I reach into her nightstand for the small leather pouch I carry with me everywhere I go. As I slide the cold, lubricated tube into my still-new vagina, I take several deep breaths to prepare myself for the upcoming day, as both Sarah and I are about to start new eras in our lives- Sarah’s about to start her second year of university, whilst I’m about to start what is technically a new job- a new job I wasn’t expecting even as little as fourteen days ago.

The last two weeks have seen a huge upheaval in the lives of myself, Sarah and all of our friends. A new ‘supergroup’ of models debuted in direct competition to the Angels (and by extension, Heavenly Talent as a whole), and my friends… Didn’t exactly react well. It didn’t help that one of the members of the new ‘supergroup’ is none other than Dannii Samson, and disgust at her treachery immediately got passed onto myself and Sarah, even though we’ve both been victims of her treachery in the past. Friendships- some of them very old- began to splinter whilst other, new friendships were forged, and by the end of the two weeks I ended up no longer being the PA for the Angels, but instead being the PA for Out of Heaven- and I’m already eager to get stuck into my new role!

Perhaps more significantly, the last two weeks- last Wednesday, to be specific- almost marked the three month ‘anniversary’ of my SRS. In addition to meaning that I don’t have to dilate as much as I did before (though it’s still far too often for my liking), it also means that I’m medically cleared to have sex whenever I feel ready for it… Though that last point, ‘whenever I feel ready’, is proving to be a bit of a sticky point, pun not intended.

“All yours,” Sarah says as she emerges from the shower with a towel wrapped around her long, brown hair and another covering her torso but leaving her soft, shapely legs on display for me to sigh happily at. “When I say ‘all yours’, I mean the shower, not my body… Though obviously, that’s ‘all yours’ too!” I giggle as I wait for the alarm on my phone to sound, before removing my stent and heading to Sarah’s en-suite, where I sterilise my stent and shower, also emerging with a towel wrapped around my hair and another covering my torso but leaving my slender legs- shaped to perfection by years of dance classes- on display for Sarah to ogle the same way I ogled hers, though her ‘ogling’ quickly reaches a new level when she encircles my waist from behind and gently strokes the smooth, glistening skin on my thighs.

“Want to let me get dressed?” I ask, making Sarah giggle as she releases me to apply my make-up, before I pull on a comfortable bra and panty set, a soft white blouse, a pair of sheer black tights and one of my trademark short pencil skirts. Sarah, of course, dresses MUCH more extravagantly than me, being a fashion student and all- her underwear consists of a very sheer thong bodysuit, a pair of black holdup stockings and a short-sleeved blue minidress than she'd made over the summer. I make sure to drink down every tiniest detail of my fiancée’s body as she covers it in her beautiful clothing, and despite my clothes being more functional than beautiful, Sarah pays my body just as much attention as I'm paying to hers.

“Mmm…” Sarah giggles as I finish straightening my tights. “Just as sexy as naked! And speaking of…”

“…Yeah,” I sigh, making Sarah frown. “You know it’s not simply a case of ‘three months and I’m done’. Much as I wish it was…”

“I can wait,” Sarah whispers, trying hard to hide her disappointment. “Not like we were going to do it AFTER we got dressed anyway, hehe! But, you know, I DO have needs…”

“And I DO have ten fingers and a tongue,” I retort, making Sarah giggle devilishly.

“It’s not the same thing and you know it,” Sarah sighs. “But I knew this was the price… You tell me when you’re ready, okay? I’ll be ready then.”

“…Kinda implying there that you’re ALWAYS ready,” I tease.

“I’m in love with, and engaged to, the most beautiful girl in the world,” Sarah laughs. “Trust me, that’s a constant turn-on. Now come on! Don’t want to be late on your first day of work, do you?”

“Same goes for you and university,” I retort, making Sarah laugh even more. “Kinda wish I was going with you, haven’t had the chance to talk to Jacinta and Ophelia thanks to, well, obvious reasons.”

“I’ll pass on your love to them,” Sarah says as we head down the stairs to her car. “…And I wish you were coming with me too, but, well, yeah.”

“…Yeah,” I sigh. I know it’s not my fault that I’m not the most academic person in the world, but after Sarah drops me off at work, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy as Sarah drives away to spend the rest of the day with her- no, OUR friends at university, no doubt returning with tales of her latest assignments or Ophelia’s latest eccentricity.

That’s not to say that I hate my job, of course, or that I won’t have plenty of tales of my own to tell when I return home, or even that I won’t spend the day amongst friends- a fact I’m quickly reminded of the instant I step into the agency and see the smiling faces of the three women I'll be assisting today. It’s just that every second I’m away from Sarah is, well, a second I’m away from Sarah, and that’s a hardship that should be obvious.

“Hey Nikki!” Stephanie squeaks as she greets me with a tight hug. “LOVE those heels!”

“Thanks!” I squeak as I pose in my stilettos. “Love your boots, too!”

“Aww, thanks!” Stephanie giggles as she playfully kicks one of her leather-clad lower legs back, much to the delight of the other two girls in the room. For months, I was told (and believed) that Stephanie was someone who was struggling with her gender identity, someone who hadn’t fully committed to life as a woman, but the more I see of her, the more I realise that that simply isn’t true.

“Hey Nikki!” Adeola says as she gives me her own tight hug. “Bex sends her love, wanted to be here but, you know, uni…”

“Yeah, I know all too well,” I laugh. “So she’s back at uni today, seeing all her friends again?”

“Well she skipped a year,” Adeola explains. “So she won’t be amongst ‘friends’, not the same people she started the course with… Doubt there’ll be anyone on her course who DOESN’T know who she is though, hehe! She’ll probably make a whole gang of new friends in the time it takes her to snap her fingers!”

“Yeah,” I laugh as I escort the three women to the recording studio where they’ll be taking turns singing throughout the day, whilst I keep them supplied with refreshments. Adeola undoubtedly meant well with her words, but all they do is serve to remind me of the time I'm apart from my fiancée- and the new friends she'll inevitably be making today. Last year, my jealousy of her uni life actually threatened out relationship, and it was only through becoming friends with Sarah's then-new friends that I was able to rise above it. Now that she's in her second year, Sarah's talked about getting more involved with the student union and the RAG group... And it's like what little time I get to spend with her has just got even smaller.

Fortunately, whenever she’s not recording, Stephanie entertains herself by chatting with me about literally any topic she can think of- the usual of fashion and make-up, as well as her friends; Lauren, the girl who left Out of Heaven the previous week; her new living arrangements with Kayla (another member of the band); and of course discussion of the physical side of transitioning, which Stephanie hasn’t begun yet but is eager to do so soon.

The day passes quickly, despite not being able to get away for lunch (Sarah’s university is two tube stops away so annoyingly, it isn’t really practical for us to meet up), and I head back to my house at 4:30pm feeling tired but satisfied at a hard day’s work. Working for Stephanie & co isn’t really any different from working for Jamie & co in terms of what I actually do- the main difference is that Out of Heaven are all around the same age as me, and all of them- even the very upper middle-class Becca- treat me as an equal, rather than an underling.

Nonetheless, it’s a relief when I finally walk through the front door to be greeted with a kiss from my fiancée, who is still wearing the beautiful dress (and presumably the beautiful lingerie) she wore to university. After tearing myself away from Sarah to dilate and change into a comfortable navel-bearing top and denim miniskirt, I head back down to the living room, where I make Sarah laugh by snuggling up to her on the sofa with my head in her lap.

“Stop that!” Sarah says, giving me a playful shove. “Your parents will be back soon, and that means Jenny will too…”

“All the more reason to enjoy all the snuggle time I can get,” I retort, before sighing as the front door opens, forcing me back into a seated position.

“Hello, girls!” Dad laughs as he walks through the door with my infant sister in his arms. “Say hi to your sister and sister-in-law, Jenny!” Sarah and I both giggle as Jenny waves at us with a wide, happy grin on her face.

“Okay then,” dad sighs as he sits down in his armchair. “Who was first back, again?”

“…I’ll get dinner on,” Sarah sighs as she stands up.

“No,” I say as I stand up alongside my fiancée. “WE’LL get dinner on.”

“If you’re doing Pot Noodles again I’ll have beef and tomato,” dad chuckles, only laughing harder as Sarah and I both stick our tongues out at him.

“So…” I tease as I warm up the oven. “How was everyone today?”

“By ‘everyone’ you mean ‘the girls we saw just a few days ago’, right?” Sarah retorts.

“Well… Yes, plus Jacinta and Ophelia,” I reply. “Barely had the chance to talk to them over the weekend. Is Ophelia sticking with dark purple hair this year?”

“Looks that way,” Sarah laughs. “Nearly made a bet with her that if her waist got under 20 inches, I’D go purple. Kinda glad I didn’t, heh.”

“I’m glad too,” I whisper as I brush a stray strand of beautiful brown hair away from Sarah’s face.

“…And how were Out of Heaven?” Sarah asks, making us both giggle.

“The three that were there were fine,” I answer. “Becca’s gone back to university to finish her final year so she won’t be around much…”

“She’s UAL as well, isn’t she?” Sarah asks. “A lot of the girls in the LGBT society are big fans of Out of Heaven. Well, mostly Steph, but they like the rest of the band too. A lot of guys do, too…”

“Huh,” I say. “You- you’re a member of the LGBT society?”

“Well I am ‘L’,” Sarah giggles as she gives me a gentle kiss. “Jacinta’s also a member, obviously. Is it really that surprising that I’d be in the LGBT society?”

“I- I dunno,” I sigh. “I guess… I guess I always thought, you know… You always said you were ‘Nikkisexual’.”

“And I AM,” Sarah insists.

“Do- do you find, you know, other women attractive?” I ask, making Sarah groan with frustration.

“Seriously, Nikki, we’ve been going out for five years and engaged for almost one. Why so insecure?” Sarah asks, making me groan.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I sigh.

“Apology accepted,” Sarah whispers, kissing my slender neck from behind and having a quick play with my belly button. “But to answer your question, from a ‘look but don’t touch’ perspective, I can… ‘Appreciate’ the beauty of other women. And yes, other men- sorry, not OTHER men, JUST men. Because there are precisely ZERO men in this kitchen!”

“Lift my skirt if you want to be sure,” I tease, making Sarah giggle devilishly.

“Don’t tempt me,” Sarah laughs as she shoves a baking tray full of breaded chicken and chips into the oven. “Unless, of course, you’re ready…?”

“…Give it a few more days,” I say, making Sarah smile sympathetically. “I just want to be totally, 100% sure… I want it to be special, you know? Don’t want it to do more harm than good.”

“You want to be romanced,” Sarah giggles. “What GIRL doesn’t? And I guess it is our one-year anniversary a week today… Perfect time for ‘it’, right?”

“I guess,” I say as Sarah and I return to our sofa. “Dinner’ll be about twenty minutes.”

“Thanks,” dad says as he feeds Jenny her dinner. “Guess I’ll have to enjoy being waited on hand and foot while it lasts… How is the flat hunting going, anyway?”

“Ugh,” I spit. “Last couple of weeks kinda derailed it a bit…”

“I don’t doubt it,” dad chuckles. “Well, as I’m sure you know, there’s absolutely no rush, both of you are welcome to stay here as long as you need, or as long as you want. We’ve got three bedrooms, might as well make the most of them.”

“Nikki ‘bedroom tax dodger’ Thomas at your service!” I say, making dad roll his eyes.

“Nikki ‘beloved daughter’ Thomas,” dad retorts as he sets Jenny down in her playpen. “And don’t ever forget it!”

“…He DID go on Jeremy Kyle to stick up for you,” Sarah reminds me, and I let out a half-giggle, half-sigh as I approach my dad and give him a gentle hug and a kiss on his cheek.

“Thanks,” I whisper as I sit back down.

“I’m your father, it’s my job,” dad shrugs. “Though I do appreciate the kiss and the hug… I’m glad they’re becoming less and less weird, heh.”

“I am too,” I say. “Umm… Think dinner’s almost ready…” I try to hide my blushes as I fetch the meal out of the oven and dish it up for the three of us, though as I get ready for bed, it’s clear that I’m not able to hide anything from my fiancée.

“…What’s wrong, then?” Sarah asks as she removes her make-up. “You’ve hardly said a word since dinner.”

“Who says anything’s wrong?” I ask as I try to relax whilst dilating. “…Okay, okay… It’s just, you know… It’s hard to put into words. It’s just when you said you were in the LGBT society… I dunno.”

“I was in the LGBT society last year,” Sarah laughs. “It wasn’t such a big deal back then, was it?”

“Well, no,” I reply. “It’s- ugh. This whole world would be better if we just scrapped all these bloody initials and acronyms and categories and shit.”

“You will get NO argument from me,” Sarah laughs as she peels her bodysuit off of her slender body. “I take it, though, that you want to keep category ‘girl’?”

“HELL yeah,” I giggle as I snuggle under my warm sheets with my warm fiancée. As we press our warm, naked bodies together, I try to put my anxieties behind me- Sarah’s right in that we went through the exact same thing last year, and that proved beyond all doubt to me that Sarah loves me with her whole heart, as I love her with all of mine. The delicate diamond rings on both of our fingers are further proof of our devotion to each other.

“Do you, Nicola Christine Thomas,” the minister asks, “take this woman, Sarah Jennifer Phillips, to be your lawful wedded wife?”

“I do,” I whisper as I stare into Sarah’s beautiful blue eyes.

“And do you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips,” the minister asks my soon-to-be-wife, “take this woman, Nicola Christine Thomas, to be your lawful wedded wife?” My heart beats faster and I start to hyperventilate as Sarah hesitates before answering, instead looking behind me at the gathering crowd in her student union bar.

“…Sure,” Sarah shrugs, making me breathe a sigh of relief despite the nonchalance of her answer. As I lean in to kiss Sarah, the church/bar begins to melt away and we find ourselves in my bed at home, our hands exploring every inch of each other's bodies as I feel the most powerful orgasm I have ever had building up inside of me.

As the sheets are pulled over my head, I find myself feeling increasingly confused as the room grows darker and Sarah proves increasingly hard to hold onto, until eventually the sheet is lifted from my head and I find myself staring into my fiancée’s grinning face.

“…Did you just have a sex dream?” Sarah teases as she props herself up on one elbow.

“No,” I immediately retort, before letting out a long, tired sigh. “Yes…”

“Oh my god!” Sarah squeaks. “Please tell me it was me you were dreaming about…”

“Who else?” I ask, a smug grin spreading across my face as I give Sarah a long, deep kiss. “What time is it?”

“Still early,” Sarah whispers. “Plenty enough time to make your dream come true, if you’d like…”

“Uhh…” I sigh as I rub my thighs together and wince at the soreness. “…Can you let me dilate first, please?”

“…I’ll try not to get too jealous,” Sarah says with a smirk as she hands me the leather pouch with the stiff, plastic stents inside. “You know, I actually had a look online, they sell replacement dilating kits. Kinda tempted to pick one up for myself.”

“The ‘dilating kits’ you picked up for us from places like Amazon and Ann Summers aren’t enough for you?” I ask, making Sarah playfully hit me with a pillow.

“You know what I mean,” Sarah sighs as I slide the stiff rod into my vagina. “I’d kinda- kinda like to know what it’s like for you, to feel what you feel…”

“Sarah,” I laugh. “I’ve spent the whole of my life dreaming and fantasising about feeling what YOU feel. Why- why would you, you know, turn it around?”

“Because it’s YOU,” Sarah sighs happily. “I want us to share everything, you know that.”

“Sarah…” I sigh. “Have you bought a dilating kit of your own?” I can’t help but let out a soft giggle as Sarah blushes and removes an identical leather pouch to my own from her handbag.

“Like I said,” Sarah sighs as she removes the largest stent and slowly inserts it into her own vagina, “EVERYTHING.” I giggle as I stare at my and my fiancée’s lower halves- with the exception of some ugly (but thankfully, fading) scars on my groin and my hip bones being less pronounced, from the waist down, Sarah and I are totally identical. The erotic dream I had just now might not be coming true- but the dream I’ve dreamed for the past nineteen and a half years certainly has.

After Sarah and I finish dilating (or in Sarah’s case, ‘dilating’), we each sterilise our stents (taking care not to accidentally mix them up) before, showering, applying our make-up and getting dressed for the day. Naturally, after being inspired by Sarah’s look from yesterday, I start with an identical bodysuit to the one Sarah wore, giggling as the tiny strip of fabric nestles between my buttocks, before rolling a pair of sheer black hold-up stockings up each leg whilst Sarah watches on with a look of pure lust on her face.

With my underwear securely in place, I reach into my wardrobe for one of my favourite ‘smart’ dresses. It’s tight enough to show off my figure but not too tight as to be obscene, short enough to be playful but not long enough to still be professional-looking (and more importantly, cover my stocking tops). Naturally, Sarah can’t resist gently caressing my firm breasts as she zips my dress shut!

As with yesterday, Sarah drives us both to work, but before I leave the car, we spend several minutes exchanging long, deep kisses. I may have been the one who had the erotic dream, but it’s clearly turned Sarah on even more than it has me- and she clearly wants to ‘make my dream come true’ sooner rather than later.

Naturally, my dress gets plenty of comments and wolf whistles from the Out of Heaven girls throughout the day as I work hard to keep the three of them fed and watered, and I have a smile on my face when I leave the office at 4:30pm- a smile only gets wider when Sarah arrives in her car a few minutes later to drive me home.

“Hey, sexy legs!” Sarah coos, giving my nylon-covered thigh a firm squeeze before setting off. “Seriously, I’m glad all of Out of Heaven are straight, otherwise I’d be SERIOUSLY jealous, heh!”

“Believe me, you have nothing to worry about,” I laugh. “’Sarahsexual’ and proud!”

“Hehe!” Sarah giggles. “Speaking of ‘and proud’… I may… May have…”

“…Yes?” I ask, my chest starting to tighten with worry over Sarah’s uncharacteristic hesitation.

“I…” Sarah grimaces. “I’m the newest member of the committee of the university’s LGBT society... Kinda?”

“…Okay,” I say. “Umm, cool!”

“Really?” Sarah asks. “Because, you know, it means I’m gonna be at meetings a lot, we won’t get to spend as much time together…”

“I know,” I sigh. “But it’s important to you, which means it’s important to me, and if it’s what you want, then it’s what I want.”

“Thanks,” Sarah whispers. “I love you so much… I’m so lucky to have a fiancée like you.”

“Trust me, I’m the lucky one,” I giggle as I gesture to my short dress and dark stockings. “When are these meetings?”

“…Tuesday evenings,” Sarah grimaces.

“So tonight,” I say, letting out an involuntary sigh. “Nope, that’s okay, it’s one night a week-“

“And tonight is just a ‘get to know you’ session anyway,” Sarah says. “It’s in the student union bar… I might- might be able to get you in, you know, as a guest, if you’d like? I’m sure everyone there would be eager to meet you, think a couple might even be fans of your blog.”

“Sounds cool,” I say with a grin.

“Jacinta will be there too,” Sarah continues. “So will Ophelia.”

“Sarah, Sarah,” I laugh. “I’m sold, okay? It sounds like fun, and the more I get to know your friends, the better, right?”

“Well, um, okay,” Sarah says. “It’s just because of what you said yesterday about me being in the LGBT, you being all weird about it-“

“I’m still a little weird about it,” I grimace, making Sarah sigh sadly. “But I figure I can either sit at home and sulk, or I can support you. I know which I’d prefer you did if our positions were reversed.”

“…Seriously, I AM the luckiest girl in the world,” Sarah laughs. “We’ll be heading out just after dinner, okay?”

“Sounds good to me!” I giggle. “Gives me enough time to dilate and eat.”

“Gives US enough time to dilate and eat!” Sarah corrects me, making me roll my eyes. “You share in my life, I share in yours, remember?”

“…Are you sure you don’t just miss, well, ‘dilating’?” I ask with a grimace. “I mean, I’m not trying to accuse you or anything-“

“I’ve told you a million times,” Sarah laughs tiredly. “It doesn’t matter what ‘equipment’ you have, as long as it’s attached to you, THAT’s the important thing. I mean, okay, ‘sexy dilating’ for want of a better name- it- it feels nice, you know? But if you asked me a million times, I’ll give that up before I give you up.”

“Huh,” I say, smiling at Sarah’s explanation. “You know, it’s kinda weird, when I was discussing SRS with my doctors, they actually said there were options other than a full vaginoplasty that’d still give me, well, ‘smoothness’, the proper appearance when naked AND sexual function. Less scarring, too. Wouldn’t have to dilate, either.”

“Huh,” Sarah muses. “Why didn’t you go for it?”

“I want to experience everything you experience,” I shrug. “And by ‘you’ I mean, like, women in general, you know?”

“Yeah, think I get it,” Sarah says. “Though, I mean, you’re never going to, well, take an actual penis in your, umm, well, right?”

“Not with a flesh and blood one, anyway,” I say with a wicked grin as we arrive home and peel each other's clothes off before we both, once again, dilate.

After a quick dinner alone (mum and dad are at work, Jenny’s with our grandparents), Sarah and I head back upstairs to change ahead of our night out. With it being a student union bar, we skip our usual clubbing clothes in favour of something much more casual- a short, tatty denim skirt and university hoodie for Sarah, and a cute, short-legged and long-sleeved purple playsuit for me. As it’s a chilly evening, both of us also pull on thick black tights, followed by a pair of comfortable flats.

Despite my nerves at being in an unfamiliar place, I force a smile on my face as I enter the student union bar. After all, Sarah IS meeting up with a group of LGBT people, who she’s assured me will accept me unconditionally, and besides, I shouldn’t have any fear of being ‘found out’, as it’s not like I have anything to ‘find’ anymore.

“Hi!” Sarah coos happily as she greets one of the group, a shortish woman in her early twenties- presumably the chairman of the LGBT society- with a tight hug.

“Hey!” The girl giggles as she returns Sarah’s hug. “So… Is this the famous Nikki we keep hearing SO much about?”

“I am indeed!” I giggle as I give the short girl a hug.

“Nikki Thomas, Becky Hamilton, Becky Hamilton, Nikki Thomas!” Sarah introduces us through a fit of giggles. “Becky’s the chairman of our society.”

“Nice to meet you!” I giggle happily, my smile widening as Becky introduces me to the rest of the committee.

Before long, the ‘party’ is in full swing, the free-flowing drink helping to ease any tension I may have had, especially after Jacinta and Ophelia arrive and immediately make a beeline toward where I’m sat alongside Sarah and the other three transgendered members of the society- two young women named Annie and Petra, and a transman named Aaron (who I quickly deduce is in a relationship with Annie). Even though I’d never met any of them before, all three- even Aaron- greeted me like a lifelong friend, making me feel completely at ease around them.

“Hey Snikki!” Jacinta squeaks as she greets myself and my fiancée with a tight double hug. “See you’ve met the gang… Girls- and guy- you have NO idea how much of an inspiration this gorgeous young woman has been the past few months.”

“Thanks!” Sarah sarcastically giggles, earning tired chuckles from Jacinta and myself.

“Sorry, I meant to say gorgeous young WOMEN,” Jacinta laughs as she sits down and straightens her light, patterned tights. “Though frankly, I’m amazed they were able to come tonight, amazed that they were able to tear themselves away from each other!”

“Oh yes,” Petra says in her soft eastern European accent. “Three months post-op… We all know what THAT means, don’t we?”

“Oh- come on, some privacy, please?” I moan.

“What you do in the privacy of your bedroom is entirely your business,” Annie says. “Doesn’t mean we can’t gossip about it, though!”

“And believe me, SHE will,” Aaron laughs as Annie snuggles into his chest.

“Don’t assume that hitting the three month mark means that it’s magically all ready and ‘open for business’,” I retort, making the others all laugh at my double entendre. “People heal at different rates, some take longer than others, that’s all.”

“AND you’re only nineteen, right?” Annie asks.

“Yep,” I say, making Annie giggle. “Started oestrogen three and a bit years ago, surgery this June just gone. And yes, I know all too well just how lucky I am!”

“SO jealous,” Petra laughs. “Does- does it still hurt? Because I’m just thinking, like, for when I get mine…”

“It’s… Sensitive,” I say, grimacing slightly at the person nature of the question.

“You can say that again,” Sarah snorts, earning some quizzical stares from the other girls. “…What? So call me a prude, I’m uncomfortable with my fiancée’s vagina being the hot topic, that’s all.”

“…Sorry,” I mumble.

“S’okay,” Sarah shrugs. “I’m going to- I’m going to mingle a bit, okay? See you in a bit, babe.”

“Sure, babe,” I say, giving Sarah a kiss as she departs.

“…Sorry about that,” Petra mumbles, her cheeks reddening as she realises her faux pas. “I just- I’m getting my SRS next year, had a few questions…”

“Honestly, it’s okay,” I say. “Though it’s not usual for her to be that squeamish…” My train of thought is interrupted as three young men- who I recognise as being part of Becky’s earlier ‘posse’- approach our group.

“Oh, hey guys!” Jacinta squeaks, jumping up and greeting the three young men with air kisses. “Nikki, I’d like you to meet David, Carl and Jack, they’re all studying fashion journalism. Guys, you know most of the people here, but this… Is Nikki!” I giggle as the three men all excitedly approach me and greet me with the same air kisses with which they greeted Jacinta. It makes me feel a bit weird at first, greeting actual cisgender men with any form of intimacy, but when David and Carl sit down and immediately cuddle up to each other, it serves as a reminder that this IS a gathering of the LGBT society, which would obviously have a large ‘G’ membership.

“Hi guys,” I say with a grin. “Thanks for letting me ‘invade’ today…”

“Sister, you are welcome ANY time,” David says with an almost stereotypically camp accent.

“Who’d have thought,” Carl said with a girlish giggle, “that out of the nine of us at this table, the one with the purple hair and six inch waist would be the only one who’s cis and hetero?” I let out a good-natured chuckle as Jacinta gives the nervous-looking Ophelia- the cis and hetero girl Carl mentioned- a quick hug.

“Aww, stop that!” David chastises his boyfriend. “Ophelia, you are of course ALSO welcome anytime.”

“Thank you, David,” the purple-haired girl says in her quick, refined voice.

“So, Nikki,” Jack asks, his voice considerably less camp than his two friends’, “J-C- sorry, Jacinta tells me that you’re post-op now, is that right?”

“’Fraid so!” I say with a giggling sigh that makes the three men giggle. “Three months now.”

“We’ve already asked almost every question,” Petra laughs. “Think it’s sensitive, that area.”

“That’s okay,” David laughs. “You may have been able to guess… Vaginas don’t really interest me that much, hehe!”

“Not that we don’t want to get to know you, of course,” Carl reassures me. “Though I guess you get this a lot, right?”

“Umm… Not really, actually,” I say. “I don’t actually have that many male friends, come to think of it. Most of the time I just hang out with the Angels, really-“

“Ugh, rub THAT in, why don’t you?” David laughs. “Those six goddesses- well, seven now, if the rumours are to be believed…”

“Mm-mm,” Jack laughs. “I SWEAR that Viks girl could turn me! All the right curves in all the right places… Pity she’s married to that giant stud of a man. Now HE is welcome to ‘turn’ me any time he likes!”

“You have been single for TOO long!” David laughs at the blushing Jack.

“Well if you want to find him a sexy young man, you are looking in the WRONG place!” Jacinta giggles, before grimacing. “Uh, no offence, Aaron.”

“None taken,” the slender transman shrugs.

“Because HE’S taken!” Annie laughs as she squeezes her boyfriend tightly, making everyone at the table giggle happily.

I spend the rest of the informal party- which lasts until well past 10pm- hanging out with Jacinta and co at the ‘trans table’, gossiping about our lives and our work. I’m only forced to leave when Sarah comes to collect me (and because of my need to dilate before bed), and it’s only when we’re getting into her car to go home that I’m struck with a wave of guilt as I realise that I haven’t exchanged a single word with her since she left the ‘trans table’ to mingle.

“…Sorry,” I mumble as Sarah starts her car.

“’Sorry’!?” Sarah retorts. “Umm, why, exactly?”

“Sorry because I know you wanted us to spend time together tonight,” I sigh. “You’re the one who said we won’t get as much time together as we used to, and I spend it-“

“You spend it making new friends,” Sarah says with a smile. “It’s okay, Nikki, it’s kinda why you went anyway, isn’t it?”

“Umm, I guess…” I say. “You’re right to say that I didn’t spend it detailing every inch of my new ‘area’, though…”

“It’s an important topic to transgendered girls,” Sarah shrugs. “Girls like you need to have that, like, ‘support group’ type of thing. Like last Friday, when you told me you had that chat with Jamie, Steph and the new girl.”

“I suppose,” I say. “Transgendered topics kinda went off the table when David and his friends showed up.”

“Heh, yeah, I know them,” Sarah laughs. “Kinda big personalities, aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “You know, it’s weird, I got thinking that I don’t really have that many male friends… Was really odd greeting them by kissing their cheek, heh.”

“As long as you mean facial cheek!” Sarah laughs.

“Of course,” I retort with a stuck-out tongue. “I mean- ugh. I don’t know what I mean.”

“If I had to guess,” Sarah muses, “and it is very much a guess, you aren’t used to interacting with guys as a woman so you’re just finding your feet, learning how to interact with them.”

“And that’s a guess?” I ask, making Sarah giggle.

“It’s not like I’ve got that many male friends either, you know?” Sarah retorts. “Just something you get used to. Guys see a beautiful woman, they want to make a fuss. And you are very much a beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, girly woman!”

“…I am,” I say with a smug grin.

“So…” Sarah teases. “Will you want to come to the bar with me again? Even if you’ll have to interact with men?”

“Only as long as they’re cool men,” I say, making Sarah giggle. “But yeah, I’d like that.”

“Good,” Sarah giggles. “How about tomorrow night?”

“You won’t make your mum panic that you’re spending all your time in bars?” I ask.

“Not like she didn’t when she was at uni!” Sarah retorts, making us both laugh as we pull up in her driveway, and we both have difficulty suppressing our giggles as we say goodnight to Beverly on our way up to Sarah’s bedroom.

After dumping our clothes into Sarah’s laundry basket, we both dilate (it’s obvious by now that I’m not going to talk Sarah out of it) before snuggling up together under Sarah’s bedcovers. Before I fall asleep, I think back on the evening with a smile- Sarah and Jacinta’s friends are definitely cool, even the guys. Or is that ESPECIALLY the guys…?

“Morning, girlie!” Sarah teases as the sound of her phone’s alarm wakes us both from our slumber. “No sex dream last night, then?”

“No,” I moan as I open my eyes and stretch my tired muscles. “No dream at all… Makes a change, heh.” Sarah giggles happily as she gives me a kiss and heads to her shower, whilst I take the opportunity to dilate- by myself, for once.

After I take my turn in the shower, I apply my make-up and dress in my usual work clothes, a short black skirt and a crisp white blouse. Rather than wear yesterday’s ‘exotic’ underwear, today I opt for a very simple bra and panty set, along with a pair of opaque black tights- something that disappoints Sarah greatly, of course, and prompts her to strip off the bra and thong she’d pulled on in favour of another tight long-sleeved bodysuit, a very slender ankle-length skirt and a pair of boots with a very high platform heel. With her hair tied high atop her head, Sarah appears even taller than me as we walk down the stairs, taking care due to the height of Sarah’s heels and the tightness of her skirt. Naturally, the second we get in her car, we give each other a long, deep kiss, which we repeat as Sarah drops me off at the agency.

“Aww,” Adeola laughs as I walk into the recording studio. “Not wearing that amazing dress again?”

“What little there was of it,” Kayla teased. “Hell, it’d have been small on me!”

“What’s this?” Becca asks. “What have I missed NOW?”

“Our new PA wearing a tight, short dress that left VERY little to the imagination!” Adeola giggled.

“I thought you didn’t have anything to ‘imagine’ anyway?” Becca asks me with a giggle.

“And I thought I’ve spent an hour a week for at least the past year wearing a skin-tight leotard in front of you all,” I say, making the four members of the band giggle.

“Ugh, remind me of THAT,” Becca snorts. “Get Wednesdays as my day off from uni and the ballet lesson gets shifted to Thursdays. Oh well, always got Friday and Saturday nights to enjoy. Wearing something OTHER than a skin-tight leotard, of course!”

“Unless we’ve got an eighties party coming up, heh,” Stephanie laughs. “What’s your brother’s party tomorrow going to be, again?”

“Jon’s party?” Adeola asks. “Don’t think there’s really a ‘theme’. He’s a guy, he’s turning 27… It’s not, like, a ‘proper’ party. Not like any of ours!” I share a giggle with the four other girls as they head to their microphones to start their workday.

After three hours of beautiful harmonies, the four singers head into the antechamber next to the studio, where Becca begins a conversation I’m very familiar with.

“…So great to be back at university,” the brown-haired girl enthuses. “Didn’t realise just how much I’d missed it last year, hehe! Of course, it’s all different people on the course, my old friends all graduated last year, but, well, this is me, it’s not like I have trouble making new friends, hehe!”

“Sounds cool,” Stephanie giggled, before turning to me. “Hey, Nikki, did Sarah and your friends go back to uni this week?”

“Hmm?” I reply, surprised to be included in the superstars’ conversation. “Umm, yeah, went back on Monday. Sarah’s got onto the committee of the LGBT society, actually. Think Jacinta has too.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Becca giggles. “Uni societies… I remember joining one in my second year, heh.”

“Umm… The LGBT society?” I ask, making Becca snort with laughter.

“Umm, no?” Becca retorts. “I’m not L, G, B or T, heh! Nah, I joined the music society. Then we founded Out of Heaven and I basically took it over, hehe! The LGBT society did look cool, though, they always seemed to have the greatest parties.”

“Umm, well obviously they’d have the gayest parties, heh!” Adeola giggled. “I assume when you say ‘gayest’ you mean that in a good way, right?”

“GREATEST, not ‘gayest’,” Becca corrected her BFF, who cringed with embarrassment. “And no, ‘gayest’ is most definitely NOT a bad thing! It’s not MY thing, but if it’s someone else’s, then that’s fine.”

“Damn right!” Adeola laughed, her embarrassment fading. A brief, awkward silence fills the room, which is broken when Adeola suddenly grabs Becca’s shoulder and gives her a long, sloppy kiss that leaves both girls in a fit of giggles- not to mention myself, Stephanie and Kayla!

“Oh god,” Becca laughs as she composes herself. “I’m flattered, but I’ll stick with my current boyfriend, thanks all the same! …Ah, sorry if we’re being a bit insensitive here, Nikki…”

“It’s fine, trust me!” I reply between giggles.

“God, can you imagine what the press would say if they saw that?” Adeola laughs. “Talk about having a field day…”

“Like they don’t already,” Stephanie snorts, earning a comforting hug from Kayla.

“And it’d probably give Uncle Joshua another heart attack,” Adeola sighs. “Good job we’re all at least straight, innit?”

“Yeah,” Stephanie laughs as we eat our lunches. “Um, no offence again, Nikki!”

“None taken again!” I giggle as talk moves onto Becca’s and Adeola’s boyfriends and I try to feign interest. The male life is one I left behind a long time ago and have no intention of ever returning to, regardless of last night’s sudden desire to make more male friends.

As usual, the recording session ends just after 4:30pm, and I leave the office building to find Sarah already sat in her car, waiting for my arrival. After exchanging a long, slow kiss with my fiancée, I fasten my seatbelt and let out a long, tired sigh.

“Long day?” Sarah asks with a chuckle.

“Meh, no longer than usual,” I sigh. “Looking forward to just crashing this evening.”

“Yeah,” Sarah grimaces, making me internally moan. “About that…”

“Seriously?” I ask. “On a Wednesday evening?”

“We’re not at uni on Thursdays,” Sarah shrugs. “And you did seem up for it yesterday. Don’t worry, we won’t stay out all night, I know you need your beauty sleep. Well, you need your sleep, anyway- you’re beautiful regardless of how much sleep you get!”

“Heh,” I chuckle. “Will it be the same gang as yesterday?”

“Some of them,” Sarah says. “It’s a course thing rather than an LGBT thing so Katie, Lauren, Jacinta and Ophelia will be there too. Speaking of Ophelia… She kinda… Kinda came back from Brighton with a few, well ‘gifts’ for us all. We’re heading to her and Jacinta’s flat after dinner to get ready.”

“Right…” I say. “And by ‘gifts’, exactly what do you mean?” I frown as a smug, knowing smile spreads across Sarah’s face.

Two hours later, I find myself stood in Jacinta and Ophelia’s living room with my arms raised high above my head, trying not to gasp as the torturously tight overbust corset wrapped around my waist is laced ever tighter by the also corset-clad Katie and Lauren.

“Don’t yank it!” Jacinta- whose waist is also severely constrained by one of Ophelia’s ‘gifts’- urges my two tormentors.

“Oh come on,” Lauren pleads. “She took, like, ten inches off my waist!”

“I took off six at the very most,” I complain. “And I actually listened to Jacinta and tightened it slowly, gradually. It’s not uncomfortable, is it?”

“Well… No,” Lauren mumbles. “But I’m lucky, I’m naturally curvy. You want the best curves you can get, don’t you?”

“Well… Yes,” I sigh, letting out a gasp as Lauren places one foot on my back and pulls at the corset’s laces as hard as she can.

“Okay, okay!” Jacinta pleads, taking the laces from Lauren and tying them into a tight bow. “That’ll do, seriously!” I laugh as Lauren pouts, before staring at my new tiny waist in the living room's full-length mirror. I've worn corsets before, sure, but this one is special. It's custom-made to fit me perfectly (Ophelia obviously has our measurements from Sarah & Lauren), and despite Katie & Lauren's 'enthusiasm' in lacing me in, sits really comfortably on my waist and my hips- the latter of which look a LOT curvier than normal.

“These corsets are AMAZING,” Katie sighs as she examines her own new, tiny waist. “Thank you SO much for these, Ophelia! They must’ve taken you all summer to make…”

“It was my pleasure,” Ophelia said. “Throughout the last year, you all showed me such wonderful acceptance and friendship that this token gesture was the least that I could do.” I giggle as I join the girls in thanking Ophelia with gentle hugs (as her corset has been tightened more than anyone’s), before pulling on my shiny nude tights and tiny black dress, which of course clings tightly to my new ‘enhanced’ figure. A cloud of perfume- which, of course, mingles with the other girls’ perfume- follows next, before I slip my feet into a pair of my highest stiletto heels.

“Are we ready, girls?” Jacinta asks as the six of us pose for a group selfie.

"Always," Sarah responds with a confident grin that makes me give her a tight hug and a long, loving kiss on her cheek before the six of us head downstairs and into our waiting taxi.

Before we head to our chosen club, the six of us stop off at the student union bar for some pre-club drinks, where we're joined by some of the group I met last night, including Annie, Aaron and Jack- but to my surprise, no David or Carl.

"Hey girlfriends!" Annie giggles as she greets us all with air kisses. "Oh, I LOVE what you've done with your waists! I wish I had a friend who made ME corsets..."

"Perhaps next year," Ophelia says with an aloof smile that makes Annie giggle as Aaron wraps an arm around her already-slender waist.

"So... What club are we going to?" Jacinta asks. "One with plenty of hot, single men, I hope?"

"A-men to that!" Jack giggles as the alcohol begins to loosen everyone up after three hard days of work.

Just over an hour and a half (and several drinks) later, the nine of us are dancing away in a nightclub known to be LGBT-friendly. Even though it's a Wednesday night, there are still plenty of people in the club, in particular plenty of the single young men Jack and Jacinta were looking for- though obviously, neither Sarah nor I pay any attention to them, instead dancing with each other all night (which comes as a very pleasant surprise to said single young men!).

Before too long, however, my feet tire from the dancing, and I retreat to our claimed table whilst Sarah gets another round of drinks. Sat alone at the table, much to my surprise, is Jack, whose face lights up when I sit down next to him.

"Hey Nikki!" Jack giggles. "Had enough dancing for the night?"

"Yeah, my feet are KILLING me," I laugh. "Why are you sat by yourself?"

"Same reason," Jack laughs, making me snort derisively.

"Uh, hello?" I say. "Are YOU wearing six inch heels?"

"Not TONIGHT," Jack retorts. "Nah, I broke my foot when I was fifteen doing karate... Not ever been much of a dancer 'cause of that."

"You- you do karate?" I ask.

"Reached the rank of first kyu before I stopped," Jack says with a proud grin. "Why so surprised? Just because I'm gay, I'm supposed to, oh I dunno, do flower arranging or something?"

"No, obviously I'm not saying THAT," I retort. "I- ugh. Let's assume it's the alcohol that's talking, okay?"

"Sure thing!" Jack laughs. "And for the record, I can't EVER see you doing anything the remotest bit masculine. You are 100% girl, through and through!"

"THANK you," I say with a smug grin. "Not seen any GUY you like the look of, then?"

"None that like the look of me," Jack sighs. "Club might be gay-friendly, doesn't make it a gay club. And I'm without my usual wingmen... Meh. I can go another night without a hot, muscular body to cuddle up to. How about you? Where's that adorable fiancée of yours?"

"Probably stuck in a mile-long queue at the bar," I sigh. "She did insist it was her turn to get the drinks, though."

"Ah, same-sex relationships," Jack laughs. "Though I take it you DO wait on Sarah hand and foot when it's your 'turn'?"

"Obviously," I reply. "Sarah gets sick a LOT so I usually have to play nursemaid... Which I'd enjoy even if I didn't wear the uniform, hehe!"

"Poor girl," Jack sighs. "About the sickness thing, not the naughty nurse thing, hehe! You ever get your own 'nurse'?"

"Only when I was recovering from my SRS," I say. "Don't get sick nearly as much as Sarah does. Pity, sometimes I'd kinda like to be treated like a queen, waited on hand and foot, 24/7..."

"Believe me, if you were single, EVERY guy in this bar would be queuing up to do that for you!" Jack laughs.

"...EVERY guy?" I ask, making Jack giggle bashfully.

"Well..." Jack teases, before clearing his throat as Sarah returns with our drinks.

"Ugh, that bar is HELL," Sarah sighs as she passes me my sweet-tasting cocktail. "Next round is on the BOY!"

"Oh sure," Jack playfully snorts. "Just sit back there and get the MEN to do all the work..."

"When you do all the work in a tight-laced corset and six inch heels, THEN you can complain, not before!" Sarah retorts, sticking her tongue out at the boy, who takes mock offence at her attitude as I try to suppress a giggle.

"Well I'm really very sorry somebody forced you to wear that terrible clothing at gunpoint," Jack says, making even Sarah giggle. "I only hope the person you're taking home tonight is worth all the effort you put in..."

"Oh trust me, she is!" Sarah laughs as she gives me a long, tight cuddle, though as we embrace, I can't help but notice Jack staring at us in a very odd way...

As Sarah promised, we only stay for another drink before heading home in a taxi (though not before each giving Jack a goodbye hug). Once we arrive home, we immediately head up to my bedroom (quietly so as not to wake Jenny or my parents, and obviously after taking our heels off first) where we both breathe long sighs of relief as we remove each other's corset.

"Oh. My. GOD," Sarah gasps as her waist is freed. "I mean, I love Ophelia and all, but- GOD!"

"Next time we go out, we leave the corsets at home?" I ask.

"You said it!" Sarah laughs as she removes her jewellery and her make-up whilst I take the opportunity to dilate. "We can also leave Aaron, Annie and Jack at home, if you'd prefer?"

"...They're cool," I say as my mind is drawn back to my conversation with Jack- specifically, the look in his eye at the end of it.

"I'm glad," Sarah says with a drunken, lop-sided grin. "I'm glad you're getting on with them, especially Jack, after what you said last night about male friends."

"Yeah," I whisper, smiling happily as Sarah climbs into bed and immediately cuddles up next to me. Before long- after having removed the stent first, obviously- I find my eyelids growing heavier and heavier as Sarah's soft snoring almost hypnotises me into my slumber...

"Do you, Sarah Jennifer Phillips," the minister says, "take this woman, Nicola Christine Thomas, to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do," Sarah whispers as she looks me in the eye.

"And do you, Nicola Christine Thomas," the minister asks, turning to me, "take this man, Jack Reeves, to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do," I whisper as I smile at the tall, handsome man, who leans in to give me a long, passionate kiss that quickly sees us falling into bed together. I gasp as his expert finger stroke my rock-hard nipples, before nearly hyperventilating in anticipation as his wide, firm penis probes the entrance to my new vagina, slowly sliding in further and further until-

"Aah!" I gasp, my eyes shooting open as I try to catch my breath while Sarah giggles devilishly.

"Twice in the space of three nights?" Sarah teases, reaching a hand beneath the bedcovers to gently stroke my tingling labia. "Think your subconscious is trying to tell you something..." God, I hope not, I think as the guilt caused by the dream begins to overwhelm me.

"Umm, maybe," I mumble as I remove Sarah's hand from my groin, much to her confusion.

"Signals seem pretty clear to me," Sarah shrugs. "Good job it's supposed to be dry down there or we'd be sleeping in a water bed, hehe!"

"Yeah," I gasp as I get up and head toward the bathroom, where I take a long, hot shower to try to melt away my tension. Why am I suddenly having erotic dreams about a guy I barely know? HOW am I having these dreams? I love Sarah, she's the only one I love, the only one I need, the only one I'll ever need... Isn't she?

After I dry myself, I return to my bedroom, where I force out a quiet laugh as I see Sarah laid on my bed 'dilating' whilst playing with her phone. It's obvious that despite her words, she misses having something inside her in that manner- is the same thing happening to me? When I dilate, it's never been an erotic feeling- but then again, I don't know what it feels like to have a man- well, someone who is anatomically a man- make love to me, whilst Sarah does...

My mind is still scrambled as I dilate myself, before pulling on the pink tights and stretchy black leotard that was for so long part of my regular Wednesday attire, but will be a regular part of my Thursdays for the next twelve months. After covering up with a tight pink t-shirt and short denim skirt, I lay on my bed and watch as Sarah stretches her own dancewear over her lithe body, before pulling on a loose, knee-length shirt dress and a pair of tiny black flats. By any objective standard, Sarah truly is beautiful. I'm a lucky, lucky girl to have her in my life- so why do I always find myself craving something else?

I try to put my dream out of my mind as I arrive at Krystie's dance school and prepare myself for an hour of dance. As I'm still healing from my surgery, I can't perform some of the elaborate steps the other girls are doing, but this doesn't prevent me from getting exercise and regaining some of the flexibility I lost whilst I was laid up.

Once the lesson ends, however, I find myself right back where I started as no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the dream from my head- and my distraction is proving to be obvious to other people too.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Jamie asks as she unties her bun and pulls on the tight top and short skirt she wore to the studio.

"Penny? Try a million quid," I sigh.

"THAT bad?" Jamie asks. "Thought you'd be celebrating, it's your engagement anniversary on Monday, isn't it? Thanks for putting that right in the middle of mad week, by the way!"

"Yeah," I laugh. "Jamie, I- I kinda- I kinda need to talk to someone. Someone who ISN'T Sarah."

"Well, okay," Jamie says. "I mean, I guess I can still be your mentor for as long as you want me to be, right?"

"Yeah," I mumble. "Umm, I'm going to be your house for most of the day anyway, getting ready for the party... Can we talk there?"

"Sure," Jamie says quietly. "I'll give you a lift... You want to say goodbye to Sarah first?"

"Definitely," I whisper, pulling my skirt back on before approaching my fiancée and giving her a long, tight hug- much to the surprise of everyone in the room, not least Sarah herself.

"Umm... Okay," Sarah giggles as she returns my hug. "Nikki, umm, I'm only going to uni to get a head start on my project, it's not like I'm emigrating or something!"

"I'm still going to hug you anyway," I mumble into the beautiful woman's shoulder.

"Good," Sarah giggles, before peeling my arms away from her body. "Have fun at Jamie's, I'll see you at the party, okay?"

"Okay," I whisper, waving after Sarah as she leaves with Katie and Lauren.

"You know," Jamie giggles, "I like your gang a lot better without Dannii in it!"

"Heh, so do I," I laugh as I think of the girl whose selfish actions threatened to tear my life apart on more than one occasion- but whose actions I very nearly went along with.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Jamie asks as we get into her car with Charlotte and our new friend Kelly, who like myself and Jamie, is also transgendered.

"Umm, it's... It's kinda private, you know?" I grimace. "Kinda personal..."

"Oh please," Jamie laughs. "Anything you can tell me you can tell Charlotte, and if it's about, well, 'T-girl problems', then you can tell Kelly, right?"

"Hell, I might learn something!" Kelly giggles.

"Yeah, come on Nikki!" Charlotte laughs, making me moan.

"Alright," I sigh. "I... I've been having erotic dreams lately." I grimace and my cheeks turn bright red as the entire car erupts in loud 'ooh's in exactly the way I'd been dreading.

"Soo..." Jamie laughs. "What was Sarah wearing in them?"

"Not a stitch," I mumble, prompting more 'ooh's.

"Mmm," Charlotte sighs dreamily. "You know, I always wondered what it'd be like to have sex with a woman... Always wondered HOW you'd do that, especially now you're, well, done..."

"Let's NOT ask the teenager about the gory details of her sex life, okay?" Jamie says, making me smile appreciatively.

"Oh please, she's nineteen, when I was nineteen- well, you know what my sex life was like when I was nineteen," Charlotte laughs. "Hell, sex WAS my life back then!"

"Can- can we change the topic, please?" I ask.

"Think of something that interests us more than sex and we'll talk about it," Charlotte shrugs.

"Well what chance does that give me?" I moan as the car once again begins giggling at my expense.

Fortunately, the car arrives at Jamie & Charlotte's home a short while later, meaning I can try to put my embarrassment behind me as I help set up for the night's party. Once everything is almost ready to go, I manage to catch Jamie for the private chat I didn't get whilst we were in her car.

"Soo..." Jamie teases. "What's so sexy about this dream that you couldn't share it with Charlotte or Kelly?"

"It's..." I grimace, before letting out a long, pained sigh.

"...Nikki?" Jamie asks, her mood quickly changing to one of worry. "What- what is it?"

"There were two dreams," I moan. "Sarah wasn't in the second."

"Oh my god," Jamie whispers as I blush with shame. "Who- who was? Do I know her?"

"It was a- it was a him," I mumble, making Jamie gasp with shock.

"Re-really?" Jamie asks. "But I thought you- you didn't-"

"Yeah, I thought that too," I sigh. "But ever since my operation, I- I-"

"I thought they operated on your groin, not your brain?" Jamie asks.

"Ugh," I spit. "This all started because I- I dunno. I realised I didn't have any real male friends, so I went with Sarah to a student bar, we got chatting with some members of her LGBT society, then we went out clubbing last night, I talked to one of the guys and it- it's like we clicked, you know?"

"...Wait," Jamie says. "LGBT society? So, like, is this guy gay?"

"Yeah," I sigh, frowning as Jamie shakes her head.

"Oh Nikki," my 'mentor' sighs. "You really have got one messed-up brain, haven't you?"

"Is that your professional opinion?" I snort.

"Hey, I'm only trying to help," Jamie says. "Sometimes a dream is just a dream."

"And sometimes it means more," I moan. "Jamie... After you, you know, started to transition, when it came to interacting with men, was- was it weird?"

"...Give my track record I'm not the best person to be talking to there, either," Jamie sighs. "You know who IS the best person to talk to."

"I know," I sigh- it's clear that the only person Jamie could be referring to is my fiancée. "But how do I tell her, well, this?"

"Wish I could tell you," Jamie shrugs, before leaving me alone with my thoughts, scrambled as they are.

I take the tube back home to change into my dress for the party- just a simple, sexy black dress with matching stiletto heels- before taking a taxi back to Charlotte's house to find the party already in its early phases. The one source of relief is that tonight I can at least relax and have fun with my fiancée and my friends, and not have to think about Jack or my dream- or any boys or any of my dreams- for the duration of the evening.

That notion, however, is thwarted when my fiancée arrives and I see that in addition to Katie and Lauren, she also has Jacinta, Ophelia, Aaron, Annie and, of course, Jack in tow.

"Hey sexy lady!" Sarah giggles as she wraps her arms around me and gives me a soft, slow kiss.

"Hey..." I reply. "Um, got a bit of an entourage tonight, then?"

"It's okay, I cleared it with Charlotte first," Sarah giggles. "And I know Jamie and Stuart are REALLY keen to meet Aaron and Annie, hehe!"

"...And Jack?" I ask, making my fiancée sigh.

"Couldn't very well leave him stood on the side of the road, could I?" Sarah laughs. "Now come on, it's YOUR turn to get the drinks!" I laugh as I head toward the small bar at the end of the room whilst Sarah's party starts to mingle, but inside, I'm screaming louder than ever. Why did Sarah bring Jack? Does she somehow know about the dream? Did Jamie tell her? Has Jamie blurted it out to everyone?

After returning to the group with a tray full of cocktails and soft drinks for the designated drivers, I try to relax as the girls and boys fill me in on their day, though as that was spent mostly starting their university coursework, I find that my attention keeps wandering- and Jack's presence mere feet away from me doesn't help matters. It's a relief when Jacinta announces that she needs to use the ladies' room, giving me an excuse to follow her for a private chat.

"Umm... You DO know the toilets in this place are, like, single cubicles, right?" Jacinta asks as we head to the side of the room. "And I'm assuming you DON'T want to use the little boys' room?"

"Both assumptions are correct," I say. "I just- I kinda need to talk to you about something, something sensitive..."

"Umm, wouldn't you be better off asking someone who's post-op?" Jacinta asks, making me almost cry in frustration.

"Not THAT type of sensitive!" I hiss, before composing myself. "Sorry... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped, I'm just- I'm just a little stressed, that's all."

"No, it's okay," Jacinta whispers as we arrive at the quiet cubicle. "What- what's up, Nikki?"

"It- it's Jack," I sigh.

"Okay..." Jacinta whispers. "Well, umm, aside from being cute and obviously not interested in me, he's um, nice, I guess?"

"Yeah," I say. "How- how well do you know him?"

"Talked to him a bit last year in the LGBT meetings," Jacinta shrugged. "Can't say I 'know' him... Nikki, why all the sudden interest in him?"

"Ugh," I spit. "I- I kinda- I kinda had a dream about him last night. A, um, a sex dream..."

"Oh my god!" Jacinta squeaks, before a wave of realisation washes over her face. "Oh my god... Nikki, um, does Sarah know?"

"No," I say firmly. "And she can't, she just can't, I- I don't know what's going on, why I- I-" I bite my lip as tears start to flow from my eyes and Jacinta embraces me in a tight, comforting hug.

"All you've been through, it's mess up anyone," Jacinta whispers. "Nikki, do- do you want to, you know, have sex with Jack?"

"I don't know!" I sob. "I don't think so, I mean, I love Sarah, I'm IN love with Sarah, I want to marry her for fuck's sake... But she can't give me what Jack can, and I can't give her that... Not anymore, anyway."

"You've always said that Sarah says that sex isn't about 'what' or 'how', but about 'who'," Jacinta says.

"She SAYS that," I moan. "Jacinta... You know that we, well, we dilate, right?"

"Not something I'm looking forward to after listening to your horror stories, but yes," my fellow transwoman replies.

"Sarah... Sarah's got herself a dilation kit, off the internet, you know?" I explain. "She dilates at the same time as me..."

"Umm, okay," Jacinta realises, before sighing. "And obviously she doesn't NEED to dilate, so you think she's, what, pleasuring herself or something?"

"She's a lot more sexual than I am," I whisper. "Always has been. Well, I thought she was, anyway, heh."

"Nikki," Jacinta sighs. "She didn't put that ring on her finger if she was just going to jump into bed with a pile of dildos. Same goes for you, too! You say you don't know what you want. Well I know what you want. It's blindingly obvious to, like, EVERYONE."

"...If you say so," I sigh. "Then why did I have that dream?"

"What am I, a shrink?" Jacinta snorts. "You saw Sarah dilating, jumped to conclusions and decided you wanted some hot man love and projected that onto an image of Jack, or something."

"I guess," I say.

"Either way it's obvious what you should do now, who you should talk to," Jacinta says. "Now can I please, PLEASE have my pee?"

"Go on," I sigh as I leave Jacinta to her business in the cubicle. "You're the second person to say that today."

"Just shows we're right then, doesn't it?" Jacinta yells after me as I return to the party.

Unsurprisingly, with more guests arriving, the room is heaving, making it difficult to locate Sarah and her crew in the crowd, even despite Ophelia's new purple hair. Rather than let myself panic, I decide that there's still no reason I can't try to enjoy myself, even if 'enjoying myself' entails 'getting wasted despite the fact I have work tomorrow'. After getting myself a drink at the bar, I head back into the party to try to find Sarah, only to run into the last person I wanted to see.

"Whoa!" Jack laughs as I nearly bump into him and spill my drink. "Careful with that, don't want you getting all wet, do we?" Of all the ways you could've worded that, I think to myself.

"Where's Sarah?" I ask.

"What am I, a human GPS?" Jack asks. "Though that WOULD be cool, like, having a drone or something flying overhead, getting an aerial view of the party... Gonna HAVE to mention that to La Charlotte or La Jamie if I run into them... Thanks for getting me into the party, by the way!"

"I didn't have anything to do with it," I say bluntly. "Didn't Sarah invite you?"

"Well, yeah, but she said it was your idea," Jack replies. "Huh. Guess she just likes sharing credit, hehe!"

"Yeah," I say. "Jack..."

"...Nikki?" Jack replies.

"We- can- I- umm, I, umm, I want to talk to you... In private, if possible," I say quietly.

"Well, umm, alright," Jack laughs as we head to the empty kitchen. "I mean, you're not my USUAL type, and you are engaged, heh!"

"But am I?" I ask. "Am I really not your type?"

"Well, umm, the breasts and the vagina are kinda a turn-off, yeah!" Jack laughs. "Nikki... Where has this come from?"

"...Ugh," I spit. "I wish I knew, I really, really wish I knew... Jack, last night, I- I kinda, umm, dreamt about you..."

"Okay..." Jack says, before his eyes go wide. "...Oh. When you say 'dream'-"

"Yeah," I say, my pulse getting faster as I start to hyperventilate. "Oh god..."

"Well, um, I hope I was making you say that in the dream?" Jack asks.

"This isn't funny!" I shriek. "This- ugh. Are you really, really not attracted to me?"

"Well, no," Jack says. "Nikki, you may think of yourself as a transwoman, but when I look at you, I don't see the 'trans' part, I just see the 'woman' part. And well, you know... Not my thing. I mean, I guess you are attractive, like, from an objective sense or something... Are- are you attracted to me?"

"...I don't know," I sigh. "I never really had any male friends, that's the thing..."

"You've spent three years changing into a completely different person," Jack says. "Maybe you're still only just discovering who you really are?"

"Does anybody ever really discover who they really are?" I ask.

"That's a hell of a deep question for not enough alcohol!" Jack giggles. "Nikki... I see the way you look at Sarah and the way she looks at you. You're not looking at me that way, trust me. Am I looking at you in that way?" I stare deeply into Jack's eyes as he talks, and the glance he gave me last night at the club is there, clear as day- but it's not a look of lust, or one of love, it's... Loneliness.

"You're lonely," I whisper as the alcohol begins to take over my bloodstream.

"I'm a gay man who spends most of his time hanging around with women," Jack retorts. "Not the hardest thing in the world to work out."

"Ugh, I feel so embarrassed..." I moan. "I shouldn't have told you about the dream..."

"Hey," Jack whispers, gently cradling my chin. "Who hasn't screwed up at some point in their life?"

"This is big, though," I moan.

"Did we have sex?" Jack asks. "Did we even get to first base?" I look at Jack as he smiles at me, and I realise he's right- though this realisation causes an urge to take over my body as I lean in toward Jack, my lips parting as they close in on his mouth...

"...No," I whisper, my mouth mere inches from Jack's. "No, I- I can't. I love Sarah."

"Damn right you do," Jack whispers. "So go out there, and show her that you love her."

"But how?" I sigh. "After last night's dream..."

"That will never happen again, will it?" Jack asks, making me giggle. "I do NOT fancy you, I do NOT want to have sex with you, end of story, and the reverse is absolutely true, isn't it?"

"...Yes," I say with a tired laugh.

"So is there anyone out there that you DO want to have sex with?" Jack asks, making me smile wickedly.

"Yes," I say with confidence. "Yes, there is."

I have a self-assured swagger in my walk as I stride back out into the party room and quickly locate my fiancée, who's dancing with Katie and Lauren. Without even saying 'hi', I surprise her with a long, deep kiss- an embrace she willingly reciprocates, much to our friends' amusement.

"It's getting late," I whisper. "I've got work tomorrow, you've got uni..."

"We can stay a little while longer," Sarah shrugs. "Unless there's somewhere else you'd rather be?" The twinkle in my eyes says more than words ever could as a wide grin spreads across my fiancée’s face and we walk out of the party hand-in-hand, barely stopping to wave goodbye to our friends before jumping into a waiting taxi and heading back to Sarah's home.

Once home, we immediately head to Sarah's bedroom where we waste no time in stripping each other completely naked before diving into Sarah's bed. There, our hands and mouths explore every square inch of each other's bodies, driving each other to orgasm time after time until both of us are gasping for breath from sheer exhaustion and the most sensitive areas of my body and tingling, almost sore from the attention that has been shown to them.

"Okay," Sarah pants as she takes several deep breaths. "Definitely better than a party!"

"Uh-huh," I gasp.

"Aren't you glad your dream came true?" Sarah asks, bringing back a tiny amount of guilt at my dream the previous night- but only a very tiny amount.

"Yeah," I laugh as Sarah and I press our sweat-streaked bodies together and cuddle each other into a deep, mercifully dreamless slumber.

When we awake the following morning, we're still holding each other so tightly that for a brief moment it's as though I don't know where my body ends and where Sarah's begins, and it takes all the willpower I have to break the intimate embrace.

Sarah's right, as always- I AM glad the dream came true, but what I learned this week is not all dreams SHOULD come true- only the important ones. Sarah doesn't need to know about my 'Jack dream'- all it did was serve to remind me of what was most important in my life, or rather, WHO was most important. As long as I have Sarah, I won't need anyone else- and not just for sex, but for the important things. Sarah is my soul mate. She always has been and she always will be, and I don't care what anyone else has between their legs, I'll only, only ever need her.

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