Tragedy of the Spirit Part 10 Resolution chapter 1
Copywrite 2008 Parts 1 thru 12 by prairie_girl_64

I began to wonder if I could escape this hell, without suicide. This question I pondered for a some time now. I was now away from any kind of normal existance for almost two years. What by standards is considered normal. I certainly did not describe myself as such. How could I , I was confused, at a complete loss at 15 and very much insecure at about life. My many journey's accross the country in the last two years I began to correlate thoughts and feelings. Was there a resolution for me? I often thought no way. I guess I never gave it consideration after I left Jenn. I traveled west and set up "camp" ans did my thing.

My thoughts and my dreams were I suppose a dream. I knew this in the back of my mind. I also realized that I lost my childhood, my fredom, my hopes when I left home at 15. Rather I escaped hell on earth then. Was I better for doing that? Was I good person doing it? There was a lot of internal confusion. I still struggle with those questions and many others today. My resolve never ended as I walked and performed my nightly duties.I still resolved that sooner or later I would either escape this or I would be killed from it.

My hair was quite long , almot to my waiste at this time. I kept it well groomed. My complexion was was clear and no zits, thank god. If I did it would mean alot. Stil at 135 at last weigh in at the thwalk in clinic. I resolved to find some answers for myself here,one way or the other!. In june I would encounter a life altering event that would give me some perspective and a posible resolution to this affair......

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Tragedy of the Spirit part 11 A resolution chapter 2

The first part of June was a normal routine for me. I started my "shift" if you would call it that at approximately 5 pm. I always perched myself out on the main drag and in the business area. I was always successful that I would get my tricks and my fun for the night with as many guys as posible. I was not always alone on the corner tho, alot of girls and boys were also there and we had staked out certain parts of that street as our own. We all strolled and we always looked out for each other. Consequences for our nightly strolls were common occurences. Girls and guys would come home bloodied and bruised. I was not immune either. It was a painful reminder of my consistant abuse I had endurred for so many years.Would it end? I certainly had no idea.

The nineteenth of June provided me with a resolution and I was shocked and definitely scared to deathas to how close I actually ccame to death that night. This I will remember to the day I die. Let me first start by going back to the start of the night...

The afternoon was hot and humid for a june day, mid 80's and I was dressed in my tight black mini with a red halter top(cross over,one shoulder bare). The make up was perfect, I had all the essentials in my purse. I guess that I had serviced about 14 guys by the time midnigth arrose.I had also made some substantial earnings wich I would check later. My estimation about 500$. You see trans girls were and still are paid quite generously. My clients always made me feel special. I know I did them. I was dropped off by my last "JOHN" at about 12:20 and started talking with some of the gals and guys at the corners. the streets were quit busy. Cars, trucks vans, limo's, etc. Even the bar crowds were venturing about the hot humid night.

The next thing I knew I heard screams and shouts to get down. Everything went into slow motion as I heard shots from accroos the street where I was standing against the wall. What happened next, I will always remember.... My resolution came clear..........

TO BE CONTINUED

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