Amie and Jamie - Chapter 16 - Pre-semester musings

Amie went to sleep quickly. I could hear her breathing. Her lungs pulled air into her lungs and utilized the oxygen to feed all the parts of her beautiful mind and body. The bible says that God made man “a little lower than the angels”. In Amie’s case, it wasn’t much lower. Such a combination of beauty, brains and talent were rare.

My physical change from male to female was fast. Factors affecting that speed were my age, my small stature, and the immense amount of help from the people close to me. I was to a point that virtually no one would be able to “read” me. My hair was growing fast and thick. It felt strange to feel it on my back and shoulders. It felt good to not have anyone say, “Get a haircut!” The mental change was much slower. I was still somewhat self-conscious, but that was decreasing. It helped to look in the mirror and see that, obviously, it was a girl looking back. It was a pretty girl, too. I don’t mean to brag when I say that … just stating a fact. Day by day, I was slowly moving from a transsexual mentality to just living as a girl.

Being at an all girls' school helped my transition. I was able to emulate those around me without the interference of boys. I never thought that my sexual preference would change and, so far, I was right. Even though the girls at school were beautiful, however, I didn’t actually get aroused just looking at them. At times, I felt somewhat envious but tried to keep in mind that I couldn’t have it all. There will always be someone with bigger breasts, nicer legs or prettier hair, but I had my share of girls envying me.

It always came back to Amie. We were both females now, but loving her felt so natural that the idea of a relationship with a man seemed foreign and strange. No amount of intelligence would help me know whether I was truly in love. Matters of the heart are an entirely different realm. It’s a realm where eidetic memory and super high intelligence offer no special advantage … a realm where two plus two might equal purple. Love has been the spark that started wars … with jealousy the kindling. So important is love to society that it’s recognized in our laws. I wondered if the writers of those laws understood love any more than I. I doubt it. Also, love has different meanings to different people. Was all the help and support Amie had given me in my transition provided out of love? If not love, then what? Maybe she was a man hater who fantasized about castrating a male. With such wonderful parents, I couldn’t see her developing such psychological issues. I wouldn’t admit to her that such a thought crossed my mind. My mind was wandering now. It’s a good thing a mind can’t get lost by wandering. My mind would have been gone a long time ago.

When I thought of Amie, she stirred a bit and turned over on her side. She took a big breath, didn’t wake up. It was almost like she heard my thoughts. That would not be a big surprise. What would surprise me about Amie would be something she couldn’t do.
I laid back and started relaxing every part of my body, starting with my feet and progressing upward. It was a good way to beat insomnia. Soon, I drifted off to an undisturbed, restful sleep.

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This story is 607 words long.