Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2816

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2816
by Angharad

Copyright© 2015 Angharad

  
-Dormouse-001.jpg

This is a work of fiction any mention of real people, places or institutions is purely coincidental and does not imply that they are as suggested in the story.
*****

“So effectively, we began as individual single, simple celled organisms that decided to club together and form more efficient, resilient complex cells. We don’t know what the trigger was but we know that in order for them to achieve that massive change took about fifty to one hundred million years of relatively quiet and undisturbed life. At the end of this period we had not just some of the original simple bacteria but some new species of complex cells which were brilliantly demonstrated in the fossil record of the foraminifera.”

I showed how the shell like structures of the external skeletons of these simple celled organisms become increasingly complex as they progressed up the geological periods towards the current one by a collection of photographs taken by Professor Brasier of Oxford University.

Finally I finished with the warning that Brasier used to end his book; which was that the more efficient a species becomes, the more specialised it becomes the faster it seems to head towards extinction as it has no leeway to give to change and that man had been reasonably successful because he was effectively a generalist who adapted to virtually every environment.

I stopped and Tom asked for questions. Some were good and challenged me others made me wonder if they’d listened to anything I’d just said. However, it was Christmas, so I explained things in terms of one syllable to these simple celled listeners. I spotted the two I’d overheard talking as I walked to the hall, thankfully, neither asked if were a man or woman, if they had I suspect Tom would have stamped all over them. I would have attempted to turn the ridicule back on them for asking. Instead, as I half expected I got one from the religious wing.

“Professor, nowhere in your lecture did you mention the fact that God used these mechanisms to create the world in which we now live, why is that?”

“As far as we know there is no evidence to suggest the mechanism was anything but one where given enough undisturbed time, life will experiment and in this case it moved things on rather more than some of the blind alleys it also tried and which led to extinction possibly because they became over specialised and therefore had no slack in their response to change in their environments. If you consider that this was divinely inspired it doesn’t say much for the designer who seems to have got it wrong more often than right. But if you want to see it in evolutionary terms, then the following model shows what probably happened.”

I showed a picture of the evolution of man with him arising from the hominids, “This probably happened between two hundred to fifty thousand years ago according to the fossil record, and this, about five to fifteen thousand years ago.” The next slide showed god emerging from the mind of man.

“Professor, are you insinuating that man created God?” asked the excited questioner.

“I’m insinuating nothing, just showing the evidence.”

The questioner stormed out muttering to himself as he went. Tom wound things up, “I think that is as good as anywhere to stop. Now it’s customary to ask someone from the floor to propose a vote of thanks to a very enjoyable and understandable lecture. I’d like to call upon Sir David to offer the vote of thanks.”

At last I’d see who this mysterious business or political heavyweight they’d talked into coming to be bored out of their tiny brain. An elderly but quite spry figure came from one of the seats at the side. Oh my giddy aunt, it’s Him, St Attenborough, the patron saint of conservationists. I felt quite ill, I was in the presence of my hero, oh my goodness. I felt quite faint so I didn’t really hear what he was saying in that lilting, soft voice of his, except when he stopped the place erupted with applause.

I acknowledged the audience and waved my thanks to them before sitting down. My legs felt really strange, had I just hallucinated the whole thing? “Cathy? Cathy, come on dear, Sir David is waiting to go to lunch.”

Tom was pulling on my arm asking me to rise and my whole body seemed awe stricken. It was ludicrous that the most gifted communicator of the natural world was here paying tribute to me, a mere tyro by comparison. It felt completely ridiculous, I was in the presence of a demi-god, me—the weirdo from Bristol. My feet seemed to follow Tom’s urging as I staggered along with him to meet my all-time hero, my brain still in stunned mode.

We were introduced and can you believe what I said? My stupid gob opened and out tumbled the words, “Could I have your autograph?” as if I needed proof that I’d been in the presence of the presence.

Lunch followed but I can’t really describe what I had or what was said, but I was sitting at the same table as this great man drinking in his every word but none of which seemed to register in my consciousness. Not to put too fine a point on it, I was blown away by his normalness and approachability. A legend in his own lifetime and as down to earth as anyone I’d ever met.

When he left the restaurant, I thanked him for coming and he shook my hand and told me it had been his pleasure to meet me, and how much he’d enjoyed my two films and looked forward to seeing me do more.

Tom and the Vice Chancellor saw him off to his cab while I slumped in my chair feeling totally exhausted by the experience. I knew Tom would tease me for a long time over it but I was totally and completely overawed by the great man’s charm. After that, everything else would seem a total anticlimax.

“Cathy, c’mon hen, ye need tae get yersel’ in gear lassie,” all I could do was yawn at him.

“How come you spoke English to Sir David but not to me?” I asked my brain still not functioning except on auto-pilot.

“Och. He widdnae understand proper English the noo, wid he?”

I returned to my office somehow. We had a taxi back to the university. Diane asked if I was okay and Tom sniggered and told her I was star struck. She brought me a cuppa and said she’d really enjoyed and understood my talk, which was nice of her to say. She went on to relate how Delia had told her to go and listen to me lecture if she could, because she’d enjoy it.

“Sir David Attenborough did, or said he did. He also said he felt good to be handing over the biology element of his mantle to one who was a worthy successor and that Brian Cox would carry the other sciences, but it was nice to see a lovely young woman presenting his subject, the natural world, with such calm authority.”

He said that about me—about me? Oh god, I feel sick...

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Comments

So giddy, -

it's a good job she wasn't riding home.
Still lovin' it Ang and thanks again.

bev_1.jpg

Tom is a sneaky SOB, if Cathy knew Sir David was there,

She would have frozen up, and blithered like an idiot.

Cath , you haven't tossed your cookies for awhile, so, have at it.
This is like having the Messiah (sorry Ang) come to you and say how great you are.

Cefin

Touche

littlerocksilver's picture

Thankfully, this took place in the UK. In the good ol' US of A the person who stomped out probably would have returned with a gun and started shooting. It's getting damn scary over here and it is not from the Muslim terrorists.

Portia

It's funny but ...

... until relatively recently (well 20 years :) ) it wasn't David that was the best known brother but the film star, Richard. An amazing family to have produced two such outstanding individuals. That's not to say David wasn't very well respected in his field - science and as a broadcasting executive - but the general public were certainly more aware of Richard.

Well Cathy made her point very clear to the man who asked the religious question and was obviously well prepared for it.

Robi

It's not an easy thing.....

D. Eden's picture

Meeting your hero - that one person that you have put up on a pedestal and worshipped for your entire life.

Cathy is lucky that he didn't turn out to have feet of clay. She's also lucky that she didn't make too much of a fool of herself, lol. I know I acted like a schoolgirl when I met my hero.

Of course, that was a long time ago - and he did turn out to have feet of clay, but then don't we all?

As always, you have provided me with another wonderful period of enjoyment and release. Thank you for all the effort and time you put into keeping this story going day after day.

Dallas

D. Eden

Dum Vivimus, Vivamus

Great lecture by Cathy. As

Great lecture by Cathy. As far as I know, there is nothing that conflicts with her view of evolution and religious teachings; at least by what I was taught in a Catholic college, in a religious class by a Priest years ago.
I really feel sorry for her that she "lost it" and became totally awe struck when she finally met her all time "hero" in person.

Angharad at Her Very Best

I simply LOVED reading this latest episode. The bit where the religious nut-case went off in a huff reminded me how lucky I am that my ever to be remembered with gratitude Parents raised me free of any religious indoctrination, even when the UK State insisted on my having to attend a local school run by the Church of England, because it was the only one for miles around, but by then my Uncle had already taught me to read and I had talked my way into being granted a public library ticket, and having soon exhausted the childrens' section the Librarians allowed me to take out adult non-fiction, so by then I was sufficiently informed that I was able to point out the errors of the so-called teachers we had to endure there when they started on religious indoctrination.

Angharad, this was well worth waiting another night for it appearing on BCTS. You don't need to apologise, you more than any other Writer having raised this website to its Number One position for those interested in reading our kind of literature. We could never thank you enough.

Thank you for all your time and effort.

Briar

Liked Cathy's response to the religious nutcase

but surprised she didn't expound a bit on his claim of "fact" and what makes something a fact.

Her man created god slide needs to show thousands of gods though.

Understanding

Podracer's picture

Sir David will have met a lot of people in his life, no doubt a good few, especially in recent years, have de-evolved into goo upon entering his presence. He will understand, and know from her work that Cathy has more to her than that. Please refrain from driving or operating heavy machinery until the symptoms subside.

"Reach for the sun."

Pull yourself together Cathy

Yes, he's your hero, your idol, your vision of someone who's accomplishments you wish to match... but he's also a person and someone who probably enjoys conversation with colleagues. (At least lets hope he has some humanity left in all that fame.)