"I was only joking Cathy, I just wanna ring the neck of that little bugger who jumped down your front."

"Why, Spike is adorable?"

"Why, if I did that in front of half the world's press, you wouldn't accuse me of being adorable?"

The image flashed through my brain making my toes curl, "No I doubt I would think you were adorable, but you're not small and furry."

"Part of me is," said a quiet voice.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Angharad
part 170.

The next morning, I awoke in the strange bed and once I remembered where I was recalled the last time I had slept here, with Simon. I felt really warm thinking about the past, it distracted me from the nuisance of the present. I lay there and reflected, a less happy thought assailed me.

I had come very close to telling Simon that day, but didn't. I wonder what would have happened if I had insisted and told him. Life could have been very different. It might have been impossible.

I tried to shift my mood by reminding myself that these things didn't happen so why worry? Deal with what is happening, it's bad enough.

My thoughts were interrupted by a tap on my bedroom door, a familiar face popped around the door. "Simon is on the phone, would you like to speak with him?"

"I suppose I'd better," I said with mock annoyance.

"Here ya go," he handed me the cordless handset, "press the green one." The door shut and I pressed the button."

"Hiya Simon," I piped down the phone.

"Hello Babe, so you got back alright?"

"Yes, no problem. Are any of them around today?"

"Just one strange car."

"Do you think anyone has put two and two together like Des did?"

"I don't know, I'll go out and get all the tabloids later and see."

"Would Des sell his story to one? I mean my story?" I hoped Simon could reassure me.

"I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't."

"I mean he wouldn't want to get his own back for my rejection?"

"Good lord no, he gets about twenty rejections to the acceptance. It doesn't stop him asking mind and he rarely goes without."

I sat there for a moment wondering how someone could be that sexually motivated, it was such an alien concept to me, then I wondered what it would be like making love as a woman. I hoped it would be good. Then I wondered what it would have been like making love to Des.

"Is that okay?" asked Simon.

"Sorry, you broke up there," I lied, "I'm on a cordless and it goes faint every so often."

"I said, I'll get the papers and Stella and I will check them out and call you if there is anything."

"Oh yes, thanks that would be great." The very idea of appearing in the News Of The World, a tabloid which we used to call, News of the Screws, because of it's frequent sexual content. It had outted many a seemingly innocent transsexual just for the tittilation of its readers. "The bastards!"

"I beg your pudding?" said Simon to my outburst.

"Sorry darling, I was just thinking about all the poor people that have been needlessly exposed by tabloids."

"Yeah, okay I'll agree with you on that one. We had a master at school who was gay; I mean we all knew about it, but no one took any notice. He wasn't camp or anything; in fact he was a nice guy much liked. He was caught at a gay party and exposed, he was suspended by the trustees and topped himself. Hanged himself in his room. Never allowed The Sun, near me ever since."

"I wonder how many times that has happened?" I speculated.

"Dunno, a few times I'll bet, I mean that was like fifteen years ago, so things are a bit better. It's only because you're marrying me that there's a story."

"Maybe, or the fact that I rather foolishly get involved in other people's lives." Was I rueing what I'd done?

"Oh come off it Cath, you could hardly let the guy nick Stell's bag could you, and as for leaving that kid to burn? Well the question answers itself."

"What about the dormice?"

"They could have burned." This was a wind up to change the subject.

"You what? How dare you torment my babies like that...."

"I was only joking Cathy, I just wanna ring the neck of that little bugger who jumped down your front."

"Why, Spike is adorable?"

"Why, if I did that in front of half the world's press, you wouldn't accuse me of being adorable?"

The image flashed through my brain making my toes curl, "No I doubt I would think you were adorable, but you're not small and furry."

"Part of me is," said a quiet voice.

"What!" I gasped and nearly fell off the bed laughing.

An hour later, I was dressed and breakfasted and out with Tom and his hound. We walked over some fields and it felt good to get some fresh air and exercise, without fear of being identified.

We entered a woodland and I was able to show Tom a few things he'd have missed. Mainly birds and plants, I couldn't find any dormice, well signs of, but his dog found some badger poo and rolled in it. It stinks, even in the fresh air.

"You're quite a good naturalist aren't you?" said my mentor.

I shrugged, "Depends on who you're comparing me with."

"A lab rat like me?"

Before I could answer, his spaniel jumped up at us and we had to jump aside to avoid being rubbed with the smelly mustelid droppings. I know dogs do it to disguise their scent, but really! She couldn't understand why no one wanted to fuss her, thank goodness we hadn't come by car.

"I was going to go and get us a roasting joint," said Tom, pushing the dog away, "but I think someone needs a bath."

I sniffed under my armpits. He roared with laughter, "You silly bugger!"

We both walked on, making silly conversation to each other and laughing, while avoiding the efforts of Kiki, his spaniel, to jump up at us. I felt like being out with a father, except when I'd been out with my dad, we tolerated each other rather than indulged each other like Tom and I were. I could speculate until doomsday as to whether or not my dad would have come around to my change, if he hadn't become crippled by the stroke, and I'd still be none the wiser. So I enjoyed this piece of fun while it lasted.

By the time we were walking back to the house, Tom had his arm around me in a protective way, and I found myself enjoying it. He noticed.

"I might seem like a dirty old man, but I'm not, you remind me of someone, that's all."

"Mary told me all about it." I smiled at him, "And I don't mind, in fact it's nice, it's like being out with my dad."

He beamed at me and yet there was a hint of sadness in his eyes which he hid as soon as he saw me notice. "Long time ago, I should let it go."

I put my arm around his waist and we walked on, his arm around my shoulder.

"Sunday joint," I said.

"Oh yes, can you nip out and get one plus all the bits we need?" he asked at my prompt.

"Yes, for how many?"

"You, me, do you want to ask Simon and Stella?"

"Can do, anyone else?" I asked.

"Pippa and her boys?" He suggested.

"Might be too late for that, she probably organised what they were having a week ago."

"It looks like a good day, give her a ring, the kids can play with Kiki."

"Yes boss," I said curtseying.

I did as he asked and phoned around. Pippa said she'd love to come but the boys were at her mother's for the weekend. So I invited her by herself. Simon and Stella were happy to pig out on my cooking, and they agreed to collect Pippa, well Stella agreed for Simon, he was out collecting newsprint. I set lunch for two, a little late, but to enable me to get it ready.

I dashed to the shops and picked up a piece of silverside, some spuds for roasting, some flour to make Yorkshire puds, and assorted veg. For sweet, I decided I'd do an apple sponge, that is stewed apple with a sponge on top. I got some fresh single cream to pour over it.

Driving back, I detoured two or three times up cul de sacs, no one was following me. Daddy had my mobile number and so did the hospital, so I wasn't too worried about staying in hiding. No one was tailing me when I hid my car around the back of Tom's house.

When I carried all the shopping in, two journeys were necessary, a rather damp dog greeted me.

 £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £ £

The mendicant author has her comment begging bowl out again, please treat her kindly- remember Bonzi, the ultimate deterrent!