--------------------

I stepped into the cafeteria for dinner, scowling slightly as I looked over the room. The mood in there was pretty grim, which was no surprise considering the losses we’d suffered yesterday. Not only had an entire town been wiped out by the daemons, but too many Val Kyr had died as well. All of Val Halla was in mourning for our fallen members, especially those who’d known and been friends with the fallen for centuries.

I quietly loaded a tray with food, wincing slightly as I turned too much and felt a twinge from my ribs. I was almost completely healed from my injuries, though my ribs were still feeling a bit tender from where they’d been broken. I didn’t bother complaining about this though as I knew full well that I was one of the lucky ones.

Yesterday, after we’d finished killing that daemonite channeler, everyone who was able to, began to move through the town, looking for survivors and killing all the remaining daemons. It had been slow and messy, but not nearly as difficult or bloody as the previous fight. We took no more casualties or even serious injuries after that, except for the last triad.

I’d gone to that town with three triads, though after we’d split up, one of those three had gone missing. During our search of the town, we found the triad…or at least what was left of it. They’d been ambushed by daemons during their search and completely overwhelmed. Two of their members had been killed, though the last one had survived…barely.

My thoughts turned to Nadia, as they had countless times since yesterday. That flying squid daemon had dropped on her from above, held her tight, and ate into her head. Of course, the acid vomit had only contributed to the damage she’d suffered, damage severe enough to kill her. I felt nauseous at the memory…and at the guilt. I’d watched as the summoner had brought the squid over, and I’d had the perfect opportunity to kill it immediately. But I hadn’t. Instead of killing the squid, I’d shot the daemonite instead. If I’d only killed the squid when I had the chance, it never would have been able to get Nadia. No one else had said a word about this, but I knew that she was dead because of me.

Once I had all my food, I started looking for a place to sit. Lei was sitting with Bethany and one of the other jatta, but when she waved to me, I pretended that I didn’t see her. I scowled and continued on my way, taking a seat by myself. I didn’t want to sit with Lei…or even talk with her right now. I might be responsible for Nadia’s death, but I blamed her for Debbie.

Debbie had proven herself to be a brave and determined woman, fighting off daemons and surviving when the rest of her town had been slaughtered. And though she could have just hidden behind the Val Kyr, letting us protect her, she’d continued fighting to the best of her ability. If anyone deserved to be Val Kyr, it was her. But Lei hadn’t used her jatta energy to heal Debbie, nor had she even tried. Instead, she’d just sat there, crouched down beside the Australian woman as she’d died. I knew that it was definitely against rules to make someone Val Kyr without permission, but if an exception had been made for me, then Debbie had definitely deserved one too.

I ate in silence for several minutes, then noticed Julie coming into the cafeteria along with her trainer Natalie. The two of them were busy talking, and though I could have stretched my senses in order to listen in, I didn’t bother to do so. Admittedly, this had less to do with my respecting their privacy and more to do with a strong suspicion that they were talking about the fight from yesterday. At the moment, that fight was the last thing I wanted to think about, and unfortunately, the one thing I couldn’t stop thinking of.

After they got their food, Julie and Natalie went their separate directions with Julie coming over to sit next to me. She gave me a faint smile before asking, “How are you feeling?”

“Physically, I’m fine,” I said, not bothering to mention the twinge from my ribs. That would probably be gone by the time I went to bed.

Julie gave a knowing nod at that. “Yeah, I keep thinking about everything…about what happened.”

Julie closed her eyes and winced, reminding me that she’d gone through more than I had. I’d only been in that town for a few hours, but she’d been there for a couple days. When she’d arrived, it had been a living town, full of living people. She’d actually met the people who lived there and had to watch as they were killed. Without saying a word, I reached out and grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. I just wished that I could do something more.

“Did you see Rebecca?” Julie abruptly asked.

“Not since we got back yesterday,” I responded with a scowl.

“I stopped by her quarters to visit,” Julie admitted, looking a little self-conscious at that. “She’s getting better, and they say her eye will finish growing back within a few days, but it will be a bit longer for her arm.”

“At least she can heal,” I pointed out, knowing that this was one of the best things about being Val Kyr. As long as you survived, you could heal from just about anything…and in a very short time. However, that just made me think of Nadia again, which filled me with a surge of renewed guilt.

Julie and I continued eating in near silence for the next few minutes, until Lindrell and Shannon arrived. Lindrell’s arm was in a sling, which was no surprise considering how badly it had been shattered. For anyone other than a Val Kyr, they would have been in a full cast, perhaps even have lost the arm entirely. As it was, she was not only Val Kyr but jatta, which meant that her arm would be fully healed and back to normal by this time tomorrow.

“How’s the arm?” I asked Lindrell, not sure what else to say.

“Uncomfortable,” was her answer, though I could tell it hurt a lot more than she was letting on. “But I’ll live.” All of us nodded in understanding of that.

I stared at Lindrell’s arm for a moment, then thought or Rebecca who actually had to regrow hers, and who would be able to do so in less than two weeks. I was glad for Rebecca, but that only reminded me of my dad and the fact that he’d lost most of his leg. And unlike these Val Kyr, he wouldn’t be able to simply grow a new one. That injury had resulted in a lot of problems for him over the years, including the loss of my mom as well as most of his confidence. The Val Kyr truly were lucky to be able to heal from such injuries.

“You did very well,” Lindrell told me, putting her good arm over my shoulder and giving me a proud look. “I have to admit, I’m especially impressed that you were able to set fire to your sword that way. You hadn’t even used it long enough to attune it to you…”

“And so quickly after charging that arrow,” Shannon added, actually looking impressed.

“Part of being a center,” I explained self-consciously. “I don’t have enough essence to do any of the things Julie does…” I gestured to Julie and gave a wry smile. “But I can charge my weapons up pretty quickly.”

“A useful ability in combat,” Lindrell assured me. “I wish I could recharge my axe so quickly.”

“You’re going to have to show us how you do it,” Julie insisted, smiling again. “I want to see that flaming spear you told me about…”

“That is kind of cool,” I admitted. Then I glanced to Lindrell and added, “And I can do the whole icy axe thing too.”

“Then this I will have to see,” Lindrell responded with an amused look.

I nodded at that, looking forward to showing off a little now that I actually had some tricks of my own. I’d already seen what each of them could do, and they’d certainly showed off for me, so it was only fair that I return the favor a little. However, I couldn’t really get excited about that at the moment, not with everything that had happened yesterday.

“Are you all right?” Lindrell asked me with a worried look.

“Nadia,” I said quietly, not able to meet their eyes. I fought back tears as the guilt surged up again. “It’s my fault she died…”

“Why would you think that?” Lindrell asked, still looking worried.

I hesitated a moment before admitting, “The daemon that killed her… I…” I paused to wince. “I could have killed it earlier but I didn’t… I could have shot it right after the daemonite summoned it…”

“But you shot at the summoner instead,” Shannon stated for me while I nodded agreement. I braced myself for her condemnation of my stupidity, or at least a comment about how she’d been right to doubt my ability to serve as a Val Kyr. Instead, she said, “You made the right choice.”

“What?” I gasped in surprise.

Shannon gave me a steady look and explained, “I was watching your shot and you made the same choice I would have. You had to choose between killing a minor daemon, of limited threat, and a daemonite summoner. In that situation, the summoner takes priority. If you’d killed the daemon, the summoner would simply have summoned another…or perhaps several more which were even more dangerous. If that had happened, more of us may have been killed.”

“Nadia’s death is NOT your fault,” Lindrell insisted, giving me a steady look. “The only ones to blame are the daemonites who brought the daemons there. Don’t forget that…ever. You did well. You both did.”

“You both need more training,” Shannon added, smiling faintly. “But you did quite well for your first battle.”

“The farewell ceremony is tomorrow,” Lindrell said with a sad look. “We won’t resume training until at least the next day. For now, continue to rest. You’ve both earned it.”

For the rest of the dinner, we avoided any conversation relating to the daemons or what had happened at the town. I was glad for the change of topic, though a little self-conscious when the conversation turned to me, or at least to the atra and what it meant to be one. Lindrell and Shannon had both been surprised by the revelation that I was atra…and that Freya was as well. And though neither said it, I was pretty sure they were embarrassed by the fact that they’d never even suspected what my odd readings on the scales really meant.

When we’d finished eating, Lindrell put her good hand on my shoulder again and told me, “Go find something to help you relax. You’ve earned the rest.” She looked to Julie and added, “Both of you.”

“And what about you?” I asked wryly, my eyes going to her arm. If anyone needed to relax and rest up, it was her.

Lindrell just smiled and responded, “I’m going to my workshop to do some touchup work on a project. I find woodcarving to be very relaxing.”

“Then I will leave you as well,” Shannon said, giving Julie and I a faint nod of her head before she and Lindrell took off.

“So,” Julie started, giving me a curious look. “Do you have anything planned?”

“Sure,” I responded with a roll of my eyes. “I was just going to put in a movie and surf the net.”

Julie laughed and punched me in the shoulder, much harder than she would have been able to before becoming Val Kyr. Fortunately, I could take a hit a bit better than I could before becoming Val Kyr as well. “You asshole,” she joked. “Even with the new packaging, you never change.”

I let out a faint sigh, relieved at that statement. I glanced down at myself, frowning slightly. I was getting used to being a girl, enough so that I didn’t think about it too much most of the time, but it still made me feel awkward and self-conscious whenever I did.

“I was just going to go take a bath,” I told Julie, thinking that a nice hot soak was just what I needed.

“I’ll come with you,” she quickly volunteered.

Julie and I started to leave the cafeteria, but just as we were reaching the exit, Lei called to us. I acted as though I didn’t notice her and continued hurrying on my way.

“What was that about?” Julie demanded. “That was rude…”

“So was letting Debbie die,” I responded bitterly, earning look of surprise from Julie.

Julie looked like she wanted to say something, but she seemed to realize that I didn’t want to talk about it right then because she kept quiet. Neither of us said a thing as we continued going to the bath house together.

Once we arrived, I got undressed as quickly as I could, trying very hard to ignore the fact that anyone could see me. I was fully aware that one Val Kyr in other pool was keeping a close eye on me, watching with an appreciative expression that made me blush. I didn’t really relax until I’d climbed into the pool and my body was mostly submerged.

“I’ll never get used to taking baths with a bunch of other people,” I complained to Julie, who nodded knowingly.

“I know what you mean,” she agreed. “I never would have been confident enough to do it before…” She gestured down at herself, a reminder of just how much her own body had improved as a result of becoming Val Kyr.

The baths were just one of many things I had to get used to in my new life. Living without technology, training for combat, fighting monsters from my worst nightmares, and of course, there was my new gender. It was all so overwhelming, I suspected the only reason I hadn’t completely freaked out was that Lindrell had been keeping me too busy for that.

Julie and I both soaked in near silence for several minutes, just relaxing in the hot water. Then she finally said, “At first, it was really awesome…being in Australia and on a real mission…”

“I bet,” I agreed, not sure what to say.

“At first, it was just a few small daemons outside town,” Julie continued quietly. “Then bam…a lot more of them came out of nowhere…and some big nasties too…” Her voice was shaking.

I winced as I remembered the town, the way it had looked after the daemons had gone through it and killed nearly everyone. I could only imagine how much worse it was watching the slaughter happen but not being able to stop it. Without saying a word, I reached out and took Julie’s hand in mine.

“I was terrified,” Julie admitted. “I’ve never been more scared in my life, not even when we were at school…” She paused and was silent for several seconds before adding, “But now, I really see why we need to stop the daemons… We can’t let them get loose on Earth.”

“No, we can’t,” I agreed, imagining what would happen if that ripper had opened a gate into a crowded place like Times Square instead of a small town in the middle of nowhere. It was enough to make me shudder and silently promise myself that I wouldn’t let that happen.

A minute later, Nicole came over, already in the process of undressing as she asked, “Can I join you?”

“Sure,” Julie responded with a grin.

Nicole finished setting all her clothes off to the side, then she climbed into the water with us. I tried not to stare at her, or at least at the injuries that hadn’t fully healed. There were several spots on her body that were scarred patches, where the acid vomit had eaten through her armor. However, the worst was her face, half of which was covered with scar tissue, where her skin and muscles had grown back but hadn’t yet finished the job. She even had a patch over the eye.

“You’re looking better,” Julie said cautiously.

Nicole nodded grimly at that, then admitted, “It doesn’t hurt quiet as bad as it did, but it itches like crazy…”

Nicole took her seat in the pool on the side of us, intentionally positioning herself so that Julie and I saw the healthy side of her face instead of the scarred one. It was obvious that she was self-conscious about her injury, so I wasn’t about to make any Harvey Dent jokes.

“Damn, this feels good,” Nicole said with a long satisfied sigh.

“Have you seen Rebecca?” Julie asked Nicole, who nodded confirmation.

“She’s healing,” Nicole responded with a shrug and then a wince. “Not as quickly as me, but she’ll be fine in no time.” Then she joked, “But we do have matching eye patches…”

“You should see if Ragnhild wants to join your Nick Fury fan club,” I suggested with a weak grin.

“Nick who?” Nicole asked with a blank look. Then her expression brightened and she gasped, “Oh, that character Samuel Jackson plays…”

Julie rolled her eyes, probably over the fact that Nicole hadn’t immediately recognized the character. After all, Julie had once gone to a convention in a rule 63 Nick Fury cosplay…the comic version, not the Samuel Jackson version. Of course, I’d gone to the same convention doing my own Rule 63 costume as the Black Widower.

The three of us continued to chat a little as we soaked, until Nicole abruptly asked me, “Are you avoiding Lei?”

“Yeah,” Julie added, giving me an almost accusatory look. “I noticed you were doing that…”

“Why?” Nicole asked, seeming surprised.

I didn’t answer at first, so Julie blurted out, “You said it was something about that Debbie woman…”

I grimaced at that, feeling angry again at the way Debbie had died when she didn’t need to. I’d barely even known the woman, but her death still really bothered me, probably because out of everyone who’d died, hers was the one that could have been avoided. Of course, Lei hadn’t been the only jatta there, but Lindrell and Nicole both had the excuse of being badly injured while Lei had been right there and had done nothing.

“Lei was right there,” I finally said, my words tinged with my bitterness. “Debbie was dying right in front of her, but Lei didn’t heal her.”

“What?” Nicole asked, giving me a surprised look.

“I know there are rules against making people Val Kyr without permission,” I continued, “but she probably would have made a great recruit…”

“She did seem pretty brave,” Julie agreed.

Nicole just stared at me for a moment with an odd expression before saying, “But it wouldn’t have done any good…”

“Why not?” I demanded.

“That woman might have been brave enough,” Nicole said carefully, “but she never could have been Val Kyr…and Lei couldn’t have healed her if she had tried. She didn’t have any Val…”

“What does that have to do with it?” I asked, feeling more confused by Nicole’s reaction than anything. “I mean, isn’t that what giving her jatta would have done?”

“No,” Nicole answered, looking thoughtful for a moment, as though trying to figure out how to explain this. “We jatta don’t give Val to people…just jatta energy. We can’t even really heal anyone, only give them the jatta to heal themselves. If someone doesn’t have any Val, then giving them jatta doesn’t do anything at all…”

“But what about me?” I demanded. “Lindrell healed me…”

“But you had a Val spark,” Nicole tried to explain. “All Lindrell did was wake it up…and give you enough jatta to heal and convert you faster.”

I was silent for a moment as I absorbed what she said, feeling a little confused. I’d heard several people talk about a Val spark, but I’d thought that was what Lindrell gave me when she’d filled me with jatta energy.

“How come I had a Val spark then and Debbie didn’t?” I asked, now more curious than anything. “Where would I even get something like that?”

“You don’t know?” Nicole blurted out in surprise, looking between me and Julie, who shook her head too. “Hasn’t anyone told you? You inherited it…”

“Inherited?” I repeated.

“The only people who can become Val Kyr are ones who’ve already been touched with Val…who already have a spark of it to awaken,” Nicole explained, looking as though she was surprised that we didn’t already know this. “And the only way to have a spark of Val is if you inherit it…” She paused at that, looking back and forth between me and Julie again before saying, “The Val was originally given to us by the goddess who created the Val Kyr…”

Julie’s eyes widened in realization, just a moment before my own. “Then that means…”

“Every Val Kyr…,” Nicole stated firmly. “Every person with a spark of Val…is descended from one of the original Val Kyr that the first Freya created…”