Take Three Girls

Take Three Girls. This is about 2 girls and one woman (myself) and their very different route to become the women they knew they should be. It was going to be called Take Two Girls, but an on line friend (she knows who she is) and the girls bullied me into the name change. Some poetic licence has been used to help the flow of the story but not very much.

This is a sad and introspective episode told more or less as it happened; if it had ben written on paper the paper would be sodden with tears. As it was I was worried about my keyboard. It could be a box of tissues chapter.

As I held a sobbing totally bereft Kate I heard the doorbell ring. ‘Sod em!’ I thought I have more important things to attend to so I continued to hold Kate close to me.
I then heard the front door open – who the hell was it? A voice shouted, “HELLO” it was Carl. Thank god for that I whispered to Kate, “Carl’s here luv” she stirred and looked at me “Really?” she asked, “Yes really love.”

Carl entered the room he looked a bit afraid of what he may be walking into. Kate jumped up and flew to him burying her head into his broad chest sobbing uncontrollably. “Kate, Kate” he said as he stroked her hair. In an anguished voice Kate wailed, “MUM’S DIED AND I WASN’T WITH HER Oh Carl!” she whimpered.

Carl continued stroking her hair whilst looking at me! Then he gave a small nod to himself as though he had come to a decision.
He held Kate at arms length and looked directly into her eyes, “Kate” he started, “I was with mum when she died. She woke up and smiled at me.” Kate sniffled looking intently at her brother. Carl continued, “She whispered to me just before she ...... well you know.” As soon as he said this I knew he was lying through his teeth trying to make Kate feel a little bit better.

The tears were streaming down Kate’s face she asked in a hopeful voice, “Wot did Mam say Carl? Wot did she say?”
Carl took a deep breath – I could see that this was hard for him to do. Again Kate asked, “Carl wot did mum say? Tell me!”

He pulled himself together and told her, “Mum’s last words were. Tell Katie I love her and tell her to make me proud of her!”

Then the floodgates opened and this giant of a man finally broke down and wept with his little brother/sister.
(It is the last time I will ever use a masculine term when talking about Kate)

This was a time for me to be the strong one – (Ha that’s a good one!) I was weeping myself touched by the sorrow of these two.
Eventually they calmed down and I made some tea. They sat drinking tea well Carl was drinking tea and Kate was drinking cola. Kate looked at Carl asking, “Mum said that?” Carl nodded Kate thought about this for a while. She straightened her back saying, “Right then if mam wants me to make her proud - I will!” Then she bust into tears again. Once again I hugged her close to me consoling her Carl finished his tea and said, “I’ve got to be off. You be good Kate me and the lads will see you tomorrow.”

I walked to the door with him and said, “You’re lying through your teeth back there!” He smiled at me telling me, “But it’s helped Kate hasn’t it? By now we had reached the front door.
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips his hands rested on my hips he wasn’t forcing the issue; I pulled back and told him, “You’re right it will help her you’re a good man Carl a very good man.”

With that he said good night and left saying he’d be back about noon as he had a lot to organise. (Read funeral arrangements)
I went back and settled down next to Kate slipping my arm around her shoulder I asked, “Bed?” She sniffled asking. “Can I..........” Of course you can you’ve had a hard day.”
We let the dogs out and I tidied up while Kate went upstairs to get ready for bed. After settling the dogs down I went and got ready for bed myself. Kate was snuggled up in my bed looking at me with those big green eyes.
“Aunty Av” she asked, “Will you come with me when I go see mam?” Sitting on the edge of the bad I took her hand and told her. “Kate of course I will you know that – look I want you to promise me something.” She looked at me warily saying, “I’m not going to cut myself honest mum wouldn’t like that” my heart ached for her. “No Kate it wasn’t that. What I am asking you is that don’t bottle things up talk to me – please you know I’ll be there for you.”

Her eyes locked with mine as she considered this nodding she said, “Ok aunty Av I promise.”

We got into bed and turned the light out Kate snuggled into me as I lay on my back thinking about the hand life has dealt this girl!
“Aunty Av” a voice in the darkness, “Yes love” there was a pause then, “Is there a God?”
When she askes a question it’s a good one! I thought for a while then in a cop out I answered, “There must be,” “Why” came the immediate retort, “Well because most of the world believes in one god or the other.” She digested this then came another blockbuster of a question. “Who’s right?” Now that was a curved ball I needed to think about this but I knew I wouldn’t get much time. Finally I answered, “Maybe it’s the same god called by different names in different places!” I desperately answered hoping this would satisfy her.

“Hmmmm” was the response to that. Things went quiet and I hoped she had gone to sleep – but no. “Wot am I going to do about me hair?” “Pardon?” was all I could say. So she continued, “I can’t go see me mam with pink hair – she hated it!” There was a bit of a quiver in her voice. Thinking quickly I replied, “Look I’ll phone my hairdresser tomorrow and see if she can do something – ok?” “Thanks Aunty Av” came the response then silence.

I was just drifting off to sleep when, “Our Carl was lying to me wasn’t he? I don’t mind if he was cos I really hope mum did say that!” This brought instant tears to my eyes.
I decided to be as nearly honest as possible without lying?? So I told her, “I don’t know love remember I was with you; only Carl was at the hospital.”

She snuggled into me and I thought that she was definitely going to sleep this time.
“D’you thing mams watching me now?” Oh shit what a question but this time I could answer honestly, “I don’t know love I simply don’t know. I’d like to think so though.”
“I think she is” came the response. I squeezed her and told her, “That’s the main thing love; that’s the main thing.”

I decided to try and lighten things a little saying, “Well if she is watching she’ll be thinking ‘There’s my daughter keeping poor Avril away from he beauty sleep’!”
Kate gave a contented sigh then said, “You’re right aunty Av she’d be telling me off – but am I?” Another curved ball! “Are you what?” I asked slightly mystified.
“Her daughter – you know?”
“Kate” I said, “Only you can answer that only you know how you feel. But once your mum understood she was so very, very happy with her new daughter and YOU know that’s true.”
“Hmmm” she responded “You’re right aunty Av she used to stick up for me against him. And teach me make up and buy me nice clothes and things – I love my mum!”

The bloody tears were there again I had to blink them back and managed to say,
“I know you did sweetheart; I know you did.”

She disentangled herself from me kissed me on the cheek and said, “And I love you Aunty Av nite, nite!)
Very quietly I said, “Night sweetheart.” As she snuggled into me I let my tears flow silently so as not to wake her finally I drifted of to sleep.

The next morning when I woke up Katie was not in bed being me I panicked thinking the worst.
I went very quietly down stairs and heard her talking to the dogs she was telling them her fears and doubts - which are not for me to write about.
I listened for a while then clumped down the rest of the stairs making my presence known.
“Aunty Av” she greeted me with a smile, “Hope you don’t mind I’ve been talking to the dogs.” I tousled the pink mop of hair telling her, “Dogs and cats are good to talk to they give unconditional love and understanding and also keep secrets.”
She considered this and slowly replied, “Yes, yes they do. I’m hungry can we have some brekkies?”
At least she had her appetite, which could only be a good thing!

As we ate she continued to talk to me telling me, “I’ve been thinking.” I commented, “This could be dangerous” “Aunty Av” she exclaimed, “No seriously I’ve been thinking about me.” My only response was a feeble, “Oh.”

Seriously she carried on, “Aunty Av please don’t tell our Carl that I know about him telling fibs about mum.” I nodded wondering what was coming next apart from the tears that were forming in her eyes.

She carried on “I know he told them to make me feel better and I know mum loved me as much as I loved her.” The tears were running down her face but she was in control – at the moment.
Soldiering on she said, “You were right last night when you told me mum was really happy with me as her daughter.” I waited again wondering what was coming next.
“So this morning me and the dogs decided” (I had to smile at this) “That I would make mum proud so she can watch me from heaven as say’ that’s my daughter isn’t she wonderful!’”

That was it! I totally lost it here she was standing there so proud and brave I simply couldn’t hold myself together anymore.
The four of us ended up in a huddle (2 humans plus 2 canines) eventually I dried my eyes saying, “I’ll hold you to that promise you made to your mum, now let’s see if anything can be done about that hair!”

I phoned my hairdresser and explained my dilemma as I thought she was very understanding and told me to bring Kate in and she would see what could be done. I told Kate and this cheered her up a bit so I told her to scoot upstairs and get showered and changed and we’d get going.

I then phone Carl to tell him what we were doing and suggested we meet somewhere once we had finished at the hairdressers. Then I went upstairs showered and changed.
We got to the salon about ten and Ruth had a look at the damage. Kate flatly refused to get her hair cut to let it grow out so the alternative was to colour her hair to slightly darker than her natural hair colour then the pinks would hopefully darken and merge in – that was the plan.

Two and a half hours later Kate was transformed her hair was a rich dark auburn the pinks had nearly disappeared some of them still showed but these appeared as a rich deep purple.
Ruth had given her hair some body and shine also styled it, so her hair now hung in loose waves over her shoulder.
With this colour and styling she looked every inch a really pretty girl. She looked in the mirror swung her hair from side to side exclaiming, “I love it! Aunt Av in ‘nit great!”
When I tried to pay Ruth smiled telling me, “On the house, my new Saturday girl will pay it off.” “Eh” I somewhat stupidly asked. “Well” Ruth told me, “Kate told me she wanted to be a hairdresser and beautician. So I thought it may help her grief if she has something to keep her occupied.”

I gasped, “Ruth you’re a genius how can I thank you? This could be just what she needs!” Ruth smiled saying, “She starts this Saturday and as it’s school holidays she can come in a couple of days a week, Phone me Avril if she has any problems because the next few weeks will be hard for her.”

I promised I would and we left the salon. “You never told me you’ve got yourself a job young lady!”
Quietly she asked, “D’you think mum would mind?” As I looked at her I felt a swell of pride!
This girl will survive everything life throws at her and god knows it’s thrown a lot at her already she was due for some good things to happen to her.

“I love your hair” I quietly told her, “And your mum would be very, very proud of her daughter and I think – no I know wouldn’t mind a bit.”
I left it at that as I started to feel weepy – bloody hormones!

Kate – well she simply gave a small smile and said, “Good I’m glad.”

As we walked to meet her brothers I reflected on Kate. She was very much affected by the sudden death of her mother but she seemed to be also operating on a different level considering her future – damn that’s the engineer in me escaping!

Circle of Life