You Chose the Wrong Store – Part 15

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You Chose the Wrong Store – Part 15


By Jessica C

It was nice to get back from vacation, to sleep in my own bed and to go shopping for school. Joy has officially announced, she’ll be attending Central City High School this semester. She will attend full-time at the University for the second semester before she officially enrolls at a university she has yet to choose. Once it was known she was looking to go to college full-time; prestigious schools were recruiting her like she was a star athlete. Not only Schools like MIT, Harvard and Yale and Stanford, but Oxford and other institutions around the world. I didn’t know really intelligent students were wanted so much. I know Joy’s a genius, but it doesn’t think of her that way.

I went over to the University with Joy; she needed to talk to a professor about her summer project. It sounded more like she had to defend her report to prove she did the work and to help one reader to understand it in better depth than he had. Ultimately its grade was a full A instead of an A- or B+. Joyce told me it was the base of some deeper research she wanted to do in the future. The truth was if her theory proved right that it superseded the work of one of her professors.

After, we went to Jamie’s sorority house where Joy felt a need to talk about my encounter with Tammy at Timbers National Park earlier in the summer. Jamie gave me a pair of hot pants to try on. When I did she joked, “It’s good you weren’t wearing them when you met Tammy; knowing her she would have talked you out of them. If you want to be talked out of them, you don’t need to go where Tammy is or wait for her come here. One of us would be glad to do that here.”

I hurried and changed back into my clothes. I wasn’t grossed out by Tammy, Jamie or another girl interested in me, just that I wanted to choose. They weren’t my age so I thought, for now, there wouldn’t be much of a relationship. Joyce later told me, "They weren’t probably thinking about developing a relationship anyway."

While we were there I met Adrienne and noticed Joy cuddling up with her. On the way home, we talked and I asked, “What’s the difference between you cuddling next to Adrienne like you’re her girl and me being teased about Tammy or Sondra there being interested in me?”

“First of all you’re too young and they could get in trouble. Secondly, Adrienne and I were relating as equals; she’s my girlfriend and I’m not her a possession. You’ve gotten boys to ask you out and even Cadence has some interest as a romantic girlfriend. You however still have thoughts and feeling that change too much with the wind or mood you have.”

“Don’t get me wrong Jan; I think you’ve grown a lot. When Mom caught you stealing, you were desperate for a family who cared about you. You wanted friends and sisters but you really didn’t know what it took to be one. You’d say yes if you thought that was what you should say. Your sense of love and trust was that you had nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

“You seem naturally to be a girl, but, and I don’t mean this as a put-down: you’re more like a little girl who doesn’t understand what it means to be a maturing young woman.”

“I do too,” I was now angry! Two blocks from home, Joy stops at a park and we walk. She knows if she stops and walks with me that I can hold her hand or feel a hug if needed, I’m more receptive. She’s right, I’m still too much like a boy in a girl’s body, measuring maturity by the fact my body now has periods. I’ve been maturing deeper down as I watch Joy, Mom, Faith and Grandma Grant.

=^. .^=

Labor Day weekend was a good weekend at Mom’s dress shop. It was also the first time I saw Emily and Sally since the day I was caught stealing. I was surprised that they recognized me. “Hey, Jasmint,” Emily said. “I told you if you waited you would begin to blossom.”

She lifted her hand and swept aside some errant hairs along the side of my face. Thinking she was being affectionate, I closed my eyes and pouted my lips. “My you’re turning into a little vixen aren’t you?” I shied back. She said, “Don’t be offended by one foxy girl to another I think you wear the tag well.”

Remembering her from before I showed her some new blouses with a more daring use of lace. She giggled, “You did remember me and my tastes didn’t you.”

I giggled, “Like a young fox.” Emily likes to layer her tops even more than the average college girl. I asked, “How did the clothes you bought last spring work for you?”

Rachel called to me, “Janelle…”

Sally picked up on the name change, “I thought you’re Jasmint/Jasmine?”

I told them, “Actually, the day I met you I had been caught shoplifting. First, I became Hannah’s foster child and this summer she adopted me. Somewhere, in all that, my name was changed to Janelle; please call me Jan or Janelle.”

I saw that something clicked in Sally’s mind and she whispered to Emily. She whispered to me as she held a blouse in between us. “You were actually a boy then weren’t you?” Mom heard what she said and stepped closer to defend me if needed.

I began to look down in embarrassment and Emily lifted my chin ever so lightly. “Please don’t be offended; it shouldn’t be a secret you’re ashamed of. I don’t know what kind of boy you were, but you make a very nice girl. I know only what you told us. If the consequences were you became a girl; they should do it to more boys. But seriously, a trans-girl is so much more than clothes and I think that fits you. So do I take it right you seem to be a girl for good?”

Emily continued, “We can appreciate the hassle you might get from some as they learn but you won’t be able to keep it a secret forever. I remember when Sal came out telling me she was a lesbian. She thought I was quickly going to look for a straight woman to be my roommate. Now two years later we share an apartment. I’m still straight and we’re best friends.”

They each made a good number of purchases, mostly for their fall wardrobes. Emily went with more vibrant fall colors, some earth-tones. Her clothes showed off her curves whereas Sally likes slightly looser fitting clothes. Both were good styles and tastes that work for them. I thanked them for how nice they were to me. Mom gave each of them an extra discount.

=^. .^=

That afternoon Cadence and Lace text me about going out on tonight. With two days before school and the Labor Day weekend, we were all excited. Since we decided to go a dance, Stephanie was invited to make it a foursome. The Legion has nice dances every Labor Day Weekend. I hadn’t gone as Ronnie.

Usually, it would be after 11:00 before many had too much to drink. It was the first time I could tell Joyce either had something to drink or use. After I noticed, she stayed away from Mom and Dad. Grandma Grant, however, caught up to her. I guess she didn’t come down hard; so I guess she might have already known.

I danced with Johnny, Chad and a few others including Cadence. Since it was a regular dance with Cadence, not slow and together, she said her parents were comfortable.

The Next day a number of our families went to Timbers State Park; hiking in the morning and swimming or canoeing in the afternoon. But there was a short ceremony without much publicity. We were given recognition for the capture of the thieves earlier in the summer. It was nice to receive recognition, as we had called and notified the authorities. A good number of Vets were there to receive the reward check from us. Three of the homeless guys were there but had cleaned up enough not to be distinguishable from the others.

There was a moment where the young Trooper approached a group of Vets and their ranks closed. It took him a minute to get the message that he wasn’t trusted. He told other troopers and law people. He wasn’t there to cause trouble but as a friend. Before he left a few veterans sat and visited with him.

We were very welcome in their midst. It was the first chance we got to personally thank Snake for his part and another called Jack. Snake shared they had been able to tap a power line to provide some power to two places they stayed at. There was a cabin near one place where they stayed at. It could be used if weather or other things were horribly bad or if someone needed to be air-lifted out. They wouldn’t say it, but they weren’t too comfortable trusting of the government or military officials. It was understood there were people in them they trusted, but not the systems.

August had been wet enough that an unannounced time of fireworks took place. Some Vets were pleased but I guess it reminded others of sounds they were not comfortable with. Even now memories could come flooding back. It was, however, a good day overall as various vets could share their stories with those who understood. I, we, heard a few stories. I was shaken pretty well one time; interestingly enough it was Snake who helped comfort me. “It’s good to have a newbie here and be bright enough to be unsettled.

Cadence too was moved to tears. Part of it she told me later was related to the Vets but some made her think of her dad’s risks or what he saw but didn’t tell about. “I asked Dad, but he said he really didn’t see bad stuff. …But when I asked about a time he told Mom ‘It was really ugly’ he said 'he couldn’t remember the incident.” Cadence knew he was not telling her the truth.

We had a sleepover that night at Cadence’s though we were pretty much exhausted. Stephanie got a bit of the bare facts of a girl’s night. Either the Rawlings didn’t think or weren’t worried.

Stephanie has begun counseling, though she’s not saying who with. Bobby will be the one going to school. He gets to be Steph on weekends and a few special occasions, probably including Halloween. Steph says, “If things go well maybe when school ends next spring, I can begin living as a girl. I am pushing for the second semester or earlier, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

“But you’re more girl than I was when I started,” I said with some surprise.

“Yes, I am even being watched so I don’t sneak anything a boy shouldn’t have. They’re even dragging their feet on giving me a hormone blocker. Hopefully, that will be approved the next visit or the one after that.” Steph’s smile changed, “Mom even said, ‘If they don’t approve it they were going to the State University Medical Center and change doctors.”

Cadence asked, “Why don’t you change now? Maybe they’d allow you to transition earlier.”

“It would be a lot harder as far as traveling, costs and Mom’s work schedule. She says she wants me to have enough time to experience things. She wants to make sure that I understand being a girl is more than clothes and appearance.”

“I’ve been hassled a few times about wanting to be a girl or looking like one. It’s not fun. I’m hoping that being in a support group at the school and one at the hospital, will be enough. …Janelle, are you going to either support group?”

The truth is, I’ve only been once to the one at the state’s University Hospital. “Cadence and Lace both chime in, “You know Janelle, and it might be good if you acknowledge publicly who you are. It’s not like everyone will know but more people would know. You already are a girl in almost every way and you have family and friends who accept you.”

“I’m willing to be part of the school’s group, but you two know you could join as well?” Cadence looked at me, wondering if I was indicating she was a lesbian. She looked at Lace. Maybe she was now wondering about Lace.

Steph asked, “Janelle, if we as girls like a guy or a girl, do either make us gay or lesbian?” We were soon asleep with little determined for sure. Cadence slept on one side of me and gave me a kiss after the lights were off.

Lace tapped me, “It makes both of you human. Hopefully, I’m still your best friend.”

=^. .^=

The first day of school Terra was glad to see me in a nice skirt outfit. I hadn’t thought about being different from most girls 9n liking to wear skirts, but it is who I am. I do have more jeans and girl’s slacks then I did, but a skirt or dress is still my first choice. It is strange as I only started last April, but I have a number of tastes and patterns in how I do things.

One thing new was Johnny walking with me between classes. Even come to lunchtime, Johnny and I were together in the middle of a table with girls to my side and a few guys with him. Johnny had found a picture of me and Cadence at the state park celebration. It concerned our recognition.

Johnny mentioned he was considering the military when he graduated in two years. “Dah,” I said, “What makes you think associating with the Vets means I’d want you to be shot at? There’s a difference between respecting those guys and liking the military or you sporting a rifle.”

“I just wanted you to know I’m not afraid,” he said.

“I know you hunt and Cadence’s dad wears a gun as part of his job; one of the vet’s even shot to protect us. Gee’s, we’ve hardly gone out?”

Johnny asked, “You’re coming to the game Friday aren’t you?”

I said “Yes”, as Cadence giggled, “It doesn’t mean she wants you bloodied.” I was surprised the talk had robbed my appetite. That would not have happened six months ago.

The worst thing about the first day was my schedule had conflicts and limited choices. Ms. Branch said, my stepping back late from being a sophomore to be a freshmyn made me one of the lowest on the totem pole when caps were reached. Getting the classes I wanted, meant losing a study hall and having to do more work at home.

Mom and Joyce both wanted me to either sign up for marching band or flags as I could then opt out of gym and still get credit for both. Joyce joked, “You should go out for flags since you like their skirts.”

“Yea, but they often practice before school and every day during football season, with the marching band. It’s going to be really cold some mornings,” I said defending myself.

The next day the band director spoke to me, “I can give you this week and next to learn the routines, but we need another flag person more than your horn. You need to get more proficient on the trumpet and walking and playing is not exactly the best way to do that.”

Not liking the band uniforms as well as learning the horn, caused me to decide for flags, ‘The High Steppers’.” High Steppers was a bit misleading, an old name that carried over. The flags are now more dance, show, and synchronization. We even have two uniforms, the most used is more flashy and revealing. This week’s game is away and while the band traveled with the team; flags rarely did.

The good news is this year all girls’ restrooms are available to me with no restrictions. I can’t say going to the restroom at school is a great experience. Being at the mirrors and checking makeup and clothes is an experience. I don’t see it as competition like some, but it is interesting to watch and be part of it.

This year’s senior girls have a fair number with an attitude and smugness that is hard to put up with. Margi and Tiara are two friends and exceptions to that rule. I guess most of the senior girls are.

Now that I’m seen as another girl and part of the school; I’m expected to think quicker on my feet. I’m glad that Joyce and Faith are both around to help me. Faith is quite feminine but she laughs at me doing flags. She likes to play bump and grind music to tease me, along with calling me an exhibitionist.

I kind of agree but I don’t think many along with the flags see what we do is unusual or overboard. It definitely isn’t typical of most church ladies. One of the flag girls and a cheerleader are both pastor kids. One Catholic girl joked, “Our priest doesn’t have to worry about any of his kids acting unacceptably.” More than one comment was returned fire.

=^. .^=

I now need to work two Saturday’s a month, more if I want. At least once a week I’m at Mom’s shoppe and found myself helping out. It’s usually enjoyable and I figure I kind of owe Mom for taking me in. I think I’m always going to like clothes, and getting to see new fashions come in is a real hook.

The game at West Slope High was enough of a contest. It was within a score of them tying or going ahead into the fourth quarter. Johnny would have scored a major touchdown but was down short of the goal.

Johnny was over to Mom’s shop at 2:00 p.m. figuring I could take off as I pleased. “Some Saturdays, I might let her off not today,” Mom said to John. “Since you didn’t ask Jan, I think she made another date.”

He was believing her until I said, “Mom that’s not true.” Mom lightly laughed, “A girl of mine should not be taken for granted.”

John apologized, to my Mom and asked me out for a movie. I suggested the movie and John complained, “It’s a girl movie?”

“Aren’t I girl enough for you? You could ask Terra’s brother or some of your friends.” We had a date and it was my first time to the movies alone with a guy. I was glad Mom and especially Dad put a little fear in him. I knew Lace was already planning to be at the movie. I wasn’t wanting to be together there but we arranged to meet after the movie.

Johnny ordered us both large colas, even with mine being a diet there is no way I would finish even half of it. There was no way I was using the women’s room at the theater. I snuggled up to Johnny but had not intended to drop my arm and hand into his lap as I did.

I had thought about being alone with him earlier, thinking a bit as Ronnie, I was uneasy as we sat together. When my hand came down on the inside of his leg, I looked up and found I was excited about being with him. Johnny kissed my forehead before lifting my chin. The next kiss was my lips meeting his warm moist lips. It was short but it sent warmth down my body.

Joy had talked to me before the date, “Don’t go to fast or too far, you’re just a freshman.” She’s not that much older and I know a bit of what she has done. I’m glad we had a big sister talk. The closest Johnny got was the inside of my leg close to the middle but even then I was turned on. He brushed his hand against my bra twice.

Lace and I used the lady’s room at the dinner. Lace didn’t ask anything but said I needed to refresh my makeup well before I went home. She said, “I don’t know about your parents, but mine doesn’t think much of me going out with a guy alone. If you don’t want to lose the privilege. I for one wouldn’t mind double dating or doing it as a group as we talked about.”

I had a 10:30 curfew so I got me home and showered well before Joy. I thought I would feel either guilty or uneasy when Mom came into visit. But Mom’s pretty cool and I relaxed quickly. She reminded me that she trusted me and wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. I did volunteer that I was glad Joy gave me a big sister talk. “Mom, I remembered earlier when I was Ron and questioned that I was going out with another guy. But I’m pretty sure Ronnie is gone for good.”

Mom giggled a little, “I’m glad to hear that as it is a little late to go back. I am sure Johnny saw you like all girl and everything he could dream for in a girl.”

“I can’t have a baby,” I said.

“While sex might be in Johnny’s thoughts, I somehow doubt he or boys, in general, think about getting a girl to have a baby.” Mom paused, “If you’re even thinking about taking risks we need to have a talk. A baby is not the only thing you can get.”

We changed the subject, “If you’re waiting up for Joy, put on your robe and come out and watch the news.” She looked at me as I stood up, “Remind me we need to try on your flag uniforms tomorrow. Do you know which one you need for next Friday?”

Instead of putting on my robe, I changed into a uniform. Faith was there along with Dad and Mom. Mom said the uniform looked great but she asked Dad to turn away as she was marking some darts to be adjusted. “Honey, did you ever think we could have had three more beautiful teenagers?”

Dad laughed and said, “I better clean my shot-gun and make sure it’s registered.” It felt really strange I could be part of what they were talking about.

Faith spoke up, “Dad did you go out with girls as beautiful as us?”

“Other than your mother? None of you are as beautiful as her yet.” Mom giggled and asked Faith, “I am glad your father said that. Do you want to change your words?”

Mom was just about done when Joyce and Adrienne came through the door. Joy was already speaking, “I’m glad you’re up, I wanted to introduce Adrienne to everyone.” Mom’s hand was on my butt and a bit under the panty. I was very embarrassed.

I relaxed a bit as Adrienne complimented me, and then all of the Grant women. “I met another student who said one of Joyce’s little sisters was a hot foxy girl. I guess they all get it from their mother’s side.”

Mom turned to Faith, “I like that a lot better.” Adrienne realized she had walked into a funny moment.

Mrs. Grant, I stopped in not only to meet everyone. Joy said you did translating and I was wondering if you might help me with some research. Some papers don’t translate well, even with the help of computers. I got marked down once last semester. I was hoping you could help me with the nuances and variation of some terms and statements? Joyce says, "You are exceptionally good.”

Adrienne is just enough older than Joyce, I saw the difference between high school and college women…

To be continued…

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Comments

There is indeed a difference

There is indeed a difference between high school and college students, that seems to appear around the half way point of the first year. What is truly sad is how many students who held very high grades in high school begin to lose these grades and many times actually have to drop out for failing classes; all because they are away from home for the first time and get caught up in the 'social scene" of drinking or staying out really late and most of all NOT studying. Here's hoping that Janell and her family members and friends who are either now in college or soon will be don't fall into this trap.

It's hard the imagine......

All of this has taken place in only five months! Janelle still needs some little girl time though I'm not sure that's going to happen. Sounds like flags practice is going to eat up much of her daily free time.
Stephanie seems to be on the right path, all be it a bit slower than she'd like! Jessie dear lovely chapter hon! Loving Hugs Talia

Needs some little girl time ...agreed

So true that Janelle has sped along; Stephanie in some ways is going at a healthier pace; and Janelle's need for time to grow up is definitely there. She is fortunate to have the support that is around her. The future should be interesting.

Hugs, Jessie

Jessica E. Connors

Jessica Connors

Still much to learn

Jamie Lee's picture

While Janelle has matured in many areas, she still has much to learn in the area of getting attention from boys or girls.

Her lack of affection while growing up has left her starved for that activity. She receives love from her adoptive family, but that's only part of a void she still feels. And it's this void she wants filled which might get her into an unwanted situation.

Hannah has done a very good job guiding Janelle along the path of her growth, but needs a professional to help Janelle understand and control the over active desire to be accepted by others. While there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be accepted by others, it can cause one to make dangerous, and irrational, decisions.

Others have feelings too.