Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 2426

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The Daily Dormouse.
(aka Bike, est. 2007)
Part 2426
by Angharad

Copyright© 2014 Angharad
All Rights Reserved.
  
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“What d’you mean–you’re dead?” Simon looked suitably aghast.

“That woman–she was an assassin–I’m her next target.”

“Why?”

“How do I know?”

“Is that Jim?” he asked and I nodded. He took the phone from my hand as I sat in a daze.

“What’s going on?” he asked loudly and I tuned out the conversation thinking that I was a dead woman walking. I know I dealt with assassins before but sooner or later one is going to get me if whoever keeps sending them continues.

On one level I was glad to learn that my intuition was working in that I recognised she wasn’t what she claimed to be both in terms of being transsexual and a teacher at the university. On another, I was grieved that I didn’t suss that she was dangerous. If she goes anywhere near my children, I’ll kill her with my bare hands if necessary. I’m the target not my family–this is between her and me and while the odds are in her favour because she has surprise on her side, I’m now at least aware of what’s happening. One way or another, it looks like I can kiss my holiday goodbye. I don’t know the area so if I’m going to fight, it’s going to be somewhere I feel I have a chance. I’ll send the children perhaps Tom will take them or persuade Stella to go instead of me, and I’ll stay here and fight it out.

Cathy, I’m talking to you.”

“Sorry, I was miles away.”

“Jim is sending a couple of his friends to even things out a little.”

“I’m going to send everyone to Menorca, and stay here to fight it out with her.”

“I’m not going to bloody Menorca, I’m staying here with you.”

“No, I want everyone away–this is my fight. If she’s going to kill me, I don’t want anyone else hurt.”

“Very noble but dumb.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I’m staying here with you–we’re in this together.”

“But the kids could end up orphans if she succeeds.”

“With Jim’s help, she won’t.”

“What if she just waits until we relax–we don’t know her time scale, do we?”

“I’ll employ Jim and his pals for as long as it takes.”

“That could be months.”

“So? I don’t care if it takes a hundred years. I want this bitch dead. I don’t care how much it costs–I consider without you life would be empty.”

“What about the children?”

“We’ll keep them out of it until we know it’s safe.”

“How will we know that?”

“When one of Jim’s pals get her or I happen to meet her.”

“Simon, she’s a professional killer–you’d have no chance.”

“Actually, I will. Jim has borrowed a couple of L85A2 for us to use.”

“What are those when they’re at home?”

“The guns the army use.”

“I thought they were supposed to be rubbish.”

“Before Heckler and Koch modified them, they were, now they’re some of the best assault rifles in the world, according to Jim they’re better than the American ones.”

“They’re illegal, we don’t have permits for them and if someone gets shot with them we could end up in prison for a very long time. I’ve heard stories that women’s prisons are worse than men’s. It might be easier just to let her kill me.”

“Cathy, we can’t, I won’t let her.” He pulled me into a hug and I burst into tears in his arms–it wasn’t so much about dying that worried me–it was not finishing the job of raising the children to be independent, not being with them or Simon and Tom anymore; not to mention how painful dying might actually be. A bullet between my eyes didn’t worry me, that would be quick and painless but other things might not. Why do these things happen to me? What had I done this time?

We lay in bed together and Simon eventually fell asleep, I couldn’t however and ended up down in the kitchen drinking tea. Bramble had convinced me to give her some milk a few minutes before and after drinking it rubbed herself against my legs but then suddenly dashed out of the kitchen. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“The kettle has just boiled,” I said.

“How kind. You know why I’m here?”

“Yes.”

“Your little gofer worked things out for you, then?”

“I know why you’re here, please don’t hurt anyone else.”

“Kind and considerate to the end, but you don’t know if it’s just you or everyone is on my list.”

“No I don’t.”

“And as you’ll be dead, it will hardly matter will it?”

“Yes.”

“What if you’re already dead?”

“I love my children and would do anything to protect them.”

“Anything? That’s a bit of an open cheque isn’t it?”

“Have you any children, Justine?”

“Trying to appeal to my better nature is a waste of time.”

“Is it, so why haven’t you just killed me and left?”

“Because I was told to make sure you knew why you died.”

“Will it matter, after all I’ll be dead so unable to worry about it?”

“You’re inconsistent, Catherine, one minute you’re telling me it matters that I don’t hurt your family after I kill you, then you say it doesn’t matter why you died.”

“Don’t tell me, you’re going to bore me to death?”

“Oh very good, Professor. Being a professor does that mean they stick a cap and gown on your coffin?”

“Hey, that’s a good idea, can I leave a note for Simon?”

“Not much use if I kill him as well, is it?”

“We’re back to that, are we?”

“For someone who’s about to die, you certainly have balls–sorry, you don’t any longer, do you? I heard about your squabble in the woods–quick thinking, make a bow and arrows–sadly, you won’t have time to that with me. In some ways I’m sorry we don’t get to fight things out, hunting you and then killing you would be good fun.”

“So why don’t you do it then?”

“My instructions were to kill you and provide evidence of completion of the contract.”

“So why can’t we do that outside in the woods or wherever you fancy?”

“Time, my dear Catherine, I’m quite a busy girl–and yes, you were quite right I’m a real female unlike you, although having said that, you are a credit to the transsexual community and I did enjoy your little film on dormice.”

“You just go round killing people?”

“I’m not here to answer questions.”

“No of course not, you might just reveal that you’re scared of me.”

“Be careful what you say, Catherine, I might make this more painful than it needs to be.”

“I reckon, Justine, that you’re frightened to face me in a fair fight, because I might just win.”

“You continue to delude yourself, Catherine, if you think that. I could kill you with my bare hands, or with many different weapons.”

“How d’you know I can’t do the same?”

“I don’t, but like I said I’m a busy girl so let’s get it over with, shall we?”

“D’you mind if I say a few prayers first?” I was playing for time, though it looked as if it was still running out too quickly.

“I thought you were agnostic?”

“Keeping my options open, you never know, do you?”

“I rather like your attitude, Catherine, pity I have to kill you.”

“You don’t, I could pay you more than your initial contract, if you cancelled it.”

“I’m a woman of my word and in my business, integrity is everything.”

I snorted.

“What’s so funny?”

“You are.”

“Glad you think so, you’ll die laughing.”

“Integrity in a psychopath, it is funny, isn’t it?”

“Say your prayer and make it quick.”

I prepared to leave this world.

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Comments

OMG

Dahlia's picture

What next? Surely Cathy will find out who is behind this. Sic em' Cathy! You're smarter than this cow anyways.

She'll talk herself out of murder.

One of the rules of a hit man is to never talk to the one you kill. So, what is miss brown pants up to? Maybe Jim will pop her before she gets a chance?

I must say that UK civil law is a right piece of work. As warlike and red neck as Americans are, they can at least shoot an assailant without much fear.

A

"without much fear"

Teresa L.'s picture

despite the news, and the gun control fanatics (i believe in registering, classes, not allowing mentally ill persons and criminals have them) we are NOT a "wild west" show. there is fear, because criminals have sued, successfully, for being injured while in the commission of a crime, just as the two are talking about doing to Cathy. Even killing them doesn't help because then the criminals family will just sue, etc.

i wish there was a perfect way to do things, but as we are human, and very flawed beings, i doubt there will EVER be a perfect society, or one even close.

Teresa L.

Teresa L.

Cathy must have something

up her sleeve.

Almost anything can be a weapon. Teapot?

And then again, there is the goddess... and Billie... and a house full of resourceful people... and Jim and his cronies...

Doing the completely insane and unexpected is always an option.

You Have It All Wrong

littlerocksilver's picture

This is the end, just like The Sopranos. Fade to black. Finis. You did a great job, A. and now it's time to move on to different fields and adventures. We loved Cathy and her family, but this is the best way. Leave it up to our imaginations. I don't know how you kept it going this long. Truly amazing.

Portia

I Sure Hope Not

I'm fine with Angharad ending it when she wants. I just much prefer the "And they lived more or less happily after" scenario. I'm betting on Bramble in this instance.

Angharad, thanks for all the episodes since the last time I thanked you (whenever that was).

That Was A Joke

littlerocksilver's picture

However, no one bit, but ....

Portia

Justine has to die

Was my first thought after reading that. Not sure how it will happen though, maybe a big doze of blue light will make her forget why she is there in the first place. Maybe Brambles runs through her legs and distracts her long enough for Cathy to react. I don't know, whatever happens I did think of the song by the Dixie Chicks Goodbye Earl. Keep up the good work Ang

Jackie

These cliffs -

are getting higher and steeper and more intense.

Bugger! Can't wait!

This is why I love it.

bev_1.jpg

We know that Bramble is not

We know that Bramble is not an ordinary cat, so I expect she'll have something to do with giving Justine her just reward in hell. Perhaps by going to get the cavalry, or by launching herself all claws and teeth into Justine's face, or both.

Kris

{I leave a trail of Kudos as I browse the site. Be careful where you step!}

Fabulous dialogue. Justine is

Fabulous dialogue. Justine is far too interesting for the 'killed by an off-camera gunman just as she's about to shoot' cliché so beloved by Hollywood.

Ban nothing. Question everything.

Attenborough passing

I'm kinda surprised you didn't comment on Attenborough, or was he not considered as influential as I thought in England. But the story line is very exciting, as usual, and doesn't need such commentary.

I probably wanna know, what I don't know

One of the finest defense

One of the finest defense weapons in the world, boiling hot water.
Even if Cathy doesn't get Justine with the first toss of the water, it will cause enough confusion to allow Cathy to get something else to fight her with.
Cathy just may be good to her word that she can take Justine on and win.
Mainly I believe, because she will be fighting for her family members who she does not want to be killed.
She also has the "ace" up her sleeve of Bramble the Cat.

Justine has a commission

And that is to let Cathy know why she's got to be killed before doing the deed.
So just one of the zillion questions that Ang has now brought up is: Will Justine be 'offed' by a protective Simon, or someone else, before we get the explanation?

That would be SO unfair, Ang.

But would make damned good story telling.

Just loving the tension.

Thanks

J

*blinks*

I go away for a week, and WHAT happens? Woah.

I'm thinking, maybe I should go back and re-read it as I'm sure I missed something.

Is Cathy dreaming this conversation here at the end? She could be - just dreaming about the tea. She has soooo many enemies, I wonder which one hired the lady. And, I wonder what happens next. Ho, boy...

One point in Cathy's favor is that the assassin hasn't done quite as thorough a background check as she probably should have (if she were playing all of her cards in the earlier conversations). Another point is that it would't surprise me to have someone else in that house hear the conversation in the Kitchen and "listen at the door" a bit without barging in. Oh, others certainly would barge in... To bad results... Or at least distract the professional. But, that's not a good thing either.

Thanks,
Annette

Cathy should not

lose hope just yet, There are a number of scenarios that could happen, Bramble could return and pay back Cathy tenfold for all her past misdemeanors , Then there is Simon or James to consider, All it will take is one moments lapse of concentration and our contract killer could find out that you underestimate Cathy at your peril.... Then as others have mentioned there is the goddess, Will she really stand by and let something happen to Cathy and destroy all the effort she has made with her sometimes reluctant protege...

Kirri

If I Remember Correctly

littlerocksilver's picture

The goddesses have maintained that Cathy will live a long time because she has much important work to do. Of course. I may be remembering incorrectly which is not remembering at all.

Portia