Friday morning, I am ready for my test, the quiz and I even have my homework done.The homework has been done much better than usual and I'm kind of proud of it. Miss Robbins comes over to me and shares her observation, “Hal, you seem to be doing things better left handed. Maybe you should do this test the same way.” However you do it, I wanted you to know I see your added effort.”
I change writing hand and Miss Robbins suggests, “Thank you for amusing me and doing as I suggested. I would like to speak with you at the end of class.”
We have nearly an hour for the test; then the last half-hour we get directions on our next history assignment. I get to work with Tricia on our out of class history project.
She and I meet for ten minutes to choose our topic and agreed to meet Sunday afternoon to begin it in earnest. Tricia reminds me to meet with Miss Robbins.
So I go and ask, “Miss Robbins, you want to speak with me.”
< ~ O ~ >
“Yes Hal I do, but let the others leave first please.” I am glad she has a smile on her face as I hope I'm not in trouble as usual. “Let me share something,” she says, “And then you can do what you want.”
“When I was in high school, one of my friends had a secret. A secret he never talked about until after he got beat up for being different. When boys found out, they did not understand and it wasn’t good for Fred. Not only did he get beat up, but many people blamed him for any fight he was in. They said, he was wrong in keeping a secret and being different. Even after people knew they still excused the harsh things others said and did.”
Miss Robbins turns to me, “My Father was a policeman and he gave me this whistle to use if I was ever in trouble. I would like you to have it; just in case you would get in trouble and need friends to help you. Would you take and use it for me?”
“I’m kind of use to being in trouble, Miss Robbins; I don’t think you are telling me that is okay, are you?” I say. “I think you know I get into my share of it without help.”
Miss Robbins smiled as I gave her a hug, “You’re right, but you are changing and I am afraid some people won’t like that. I’m afraid they will want to hurt you and that they will make sure others aren’t around, to see what they do to you.”
“My biggest change right now is trying to be a better student, I know Ms. Albert thinks I’ve cheated or something but I’ve changed and I have worked harder.”
“You’d better get to Mrs. Albert’s class before you’re late and in trouble with her. But Hal know you can call me and even trust me with a secret if you need to.”
I feel good as well as confused; here I was trying to be good and instead of trouble she offers help. I don’t see how it can get hurt and I’m not aware of what she’s afraid of.
My second class was short. We had a major quiz and after that we could stay and read or go home early. I stayed a little while as I’m reading through it and I practice several of the sample problems to make sure I understand what is being presented, before I forget what I read.
I am still out early as Mrs. Albert wants to leave early as well.
< ~ O ~ >
I stop at Roy’s on the way home. “I’m not working today, but I want to know if it would be okay if I or a cousin worked on a car here tomorrow.” I would rather do it at my house, but Roy has the paints I need.
“I won’t be here tomorrow as it’s a race day, but you know where everything is,” Roy says.
I am happy to get home and to have time to enjoy my transformation. I started the tub in mom’s bathroom, another bubble bath, and then I get a quick lunch of cottage cheese and fruit.
I pretend the jeans I’m taking off are girl jeans and that I have to slink out of them. My clothes are laid out on the bed, before I get into the bubble bath. I hadn’t previously noticed the feel of the oil.
It’s rough today as I shave my own legs and underarms so I will not to get aroused by the girls doing it. But I did get aroused as I fantasized I really am Cami. Jenn came home as I lay back and enjoy myself. Jenn is upset that I am getting into this way too much. I tell her, “If you want I could stop and stay home.” I say it, knowing she wouldn’t want that she wants my help . She’s even borrowed two breast forms from the drama department for Cami. “That is really a low double standard Sis,” I said to her.
Carol will soon be the one over to help with my make-up. Jenn and Carol insists I learn how to do my own make-up. I am reminded to do it lightly, though I, really want to use more. Carol compliments how I do my nails. That’s when I remembered I did them last night. "O my, Miss Robbins" I mumble, and Carol asks what.
“I did my nails last night before we went shopping. Ugh, I had worn fingernail polish to summer school. I’m sure Miss Robbins and Tricia both noticed. What am I to do?”
Carol giggles at my dilemma, “If they were quiet, I would suggest you be quiet too. You need to be more careful, but you’re not the first or the last.”
Carol tells me, “You're not the first, usually one or two boys to do it each year. And that is just those I hear of.”
“If it’s happened, why didn’t I hear about it?” I ask.
“Most of the time girls don’t tell, because of what the guys would do, from teasing to getting physical..” She pauses, “Sometimes a girlfriend or a sister painted them, and boys just forget to take it off. Some other guys let strength and emotions override better judgment and their violent nature. Most girls wouldn’t like boys to suffer from violence unless the girl is a real b**. Can you understand that?”
‘Hmm, Miss Robbins said that with different words.’ Carol brushes her hand through my hair, “Just be careful and try not to do it again.” I smile, and thought how nice she's being to me.
I finish my makeup, and Carol helps me to learn how to even it out to give me a smooth looking complexion. Things like smoothing my makeup with a soft triangle and a brush with the lightest of powder. I’m like a giddy girl inside as I see the end result. I hope it doesn’t show. If Carol noticed she hadn’t said anything.
The two breast forms that my sister brought home from the drama department at school. They aren’t huge like a guy might want, they’re the correct size for a girl my built. Ha, they have a weight and tend get in the way of my arms. “Live and learn,” Carol tells me as she notices my reaction.
< ~ O ~ >
I wear sandals Jenn has bought for me. I go over with Carol to the softball diamond. The girls who are there are nice, well there are a few are put off with me presence. I think it is funny when Carol suggests they’re jealous of me. “You are about as pretty as Jenn, the worse part is they’re afraid you might compete for their boyfriends.”
I see Sandy and a number of other girls on the softball team that I know but Sandy’s the only one who knew who I am.
We are playing our arch rival and Miss Robbins recruits a few of us to cheer. “No, no, you don’t want me,” I complain.
“I won’t force you, but it might be one of the rare chances you get,” she told me. I ask how I’m to hold my hands, or what to say. She helps us by showing us a few actions, to know when to cheer and when to be quiet. Miss Robbins gives me a pair of footies and I borrow Sandy’s sneakers during the game. I’m tickled at the thought of wearing her shoes.
The guys arrived just as the game is to begin. I go over to Sal. Before I got a chance to ask him not to, he gave me a kiss, a kiss on the cheek. Jenn is happy to see me, but upset I am cheering. She says, “Don’t get use to this stuff; we need to find a way to get you out of this.”
Come, the end of two innings we have a 3 to 1 lead, when our third base player falls to the ground with a twisted ankle diving for the ball. While their runner ends up safe at second. I yell for Sandy to be put in, not knowing that it indeed was one of her positions. I am sure some the fans think I'm more than a little crazy, but they too were excited for Sandy.
The ball is hit to her and she was about to throw out the runner at first. But the second base runner had come too far and Sandy had her trapped and tagged out. The fans were happy as it got the team back on track.
Sal brought a drink over to me and others giggle at the attention I receive from him. It is fun as I cheer, kick my legs up, watch the other girls to see how to move my arms for cheers.
When our team comes to bat and Sandy is due to bat fifth. There were two runners on first and second and two outs as Sandy becomes the batter. The pitcher threw fast and quickly Sandy has two strikes. Just as the pitcher is ready to wind up I start a cheer. The pitcher and the umpire are both upset and tell me I have to stop. Sandy smiles and seems more relaxed.
She hit the next pitch hard enough to go over the first baseman’s head and glove. It hits fair but bounces away from the fielders. Sandy is quick and runs to second by the time they came up with the ball and two runs scored. She runs for third base as they threw the ball to third. Sandy slid into the fielder’s glove at the same time she tries to catch the ball. Sandy is safe and the ball rolls away. That allows Sandy to run safely home. Elston’s team scores enough to make the game interesting, but not near enough to threaten the lead as Elmhurst won, 8-3.
We went to eat pizza the same place the team went. It would not have been good for Sandy to leave before the Coach gives her permission. She enjoys the moment as a star of the game. I am taken to the girls’ room to change out of my culottes into a short skirt with pantyhose underneath.
The pant/skirt was nice for modesty, but it is nice to be back in a regular skirt. Sal compliments, “Cami, I appreciate how nice you look. It is fun to see and hear you cheer, with your legs kicking and your figure, you are very pretty.”
I scoot into the booth having gathered my skirt properly underneath me. I see Sandy giggle at my discipline, Jenn slowly shakes her head and Sal’s watchful eyes have me nervous. I usually have a good appetite but nibbled on one slice of pizza and one glass of diet soda the whole time we are there.
< ~ O ~ >
We ride around until late; I snuggle again closely next to Sal as he drives. His right hand is usually free to wander, but I keep its movement limited. His enjoyment came when I nibbled on his ear to get his attention. When my hand fell onto his lap, I realize he is aroused. I couldn’t help but be pleased. He tells me, “I’m sorry but I can’t control how I feel.”
Without thinking I scoot and give a quick kiss that became more passionate than expected, and my hand sought him out. I felt him throb in my hand before I back away. When I'm dropped off at home it takes five minutes to say goodnight.
I am in the bathroom getting ready for bed, when Jenn came in sternly asking about my actions and the need to stop. When my eyes tear, I end up crying in her arms. She comforts me as her little sister. Later after I have changed into a pair of teddy bear pajamas and Jenn tucks me into bed. Minutes later she comes back with a stuffed kitten for me to cuddle. “Thanks Jenn, I know we both want this over with. I appreciate you being nice about it.”
When I walk down to the kitchen in the morning, I find out several girls slept over. Deb and Sandy scoot next to me after I plop down with my cereal. Deb soon has out her polish remover and wants to work on my toes.
I try to tell them, I couldn’t be Cami today but they wouldn’t hear of it. By 9:30 we receive a call that Sal is coming over so I can paint his car. I paint a kitten on his back butterfly window and a outline of a cougar along the back of his car. The one looks cute and the other is ‘tuff’. From 10 till 2:00, I paint the kitten and outline the cougar.
Roy will finish the cougar if Sal wants to leave it overnight to be baked on dry. Even Roy believes I am Jenn and Hal’s cousin; He sees no evidence of Hal. We went to the shopping center late that afternoon and most of the guys sit as the girls shop around. Jenn shops with Chuck and I try it with Sal. I find something I just had to have. It's a pair of shorts with a halter top to go with it. Even if I were a girl my Mom would not have allowed me to have it, but Sal gives in and buys them for me.
Mom calls Saturday night before we go on our date; Jenn promises we will go to church in the morning. The movie is an action film as it is guy’s choice. The Strand Theater is big and the balcony is not packed like the main area. I thought we came to watch a movie and eat popcorn. I guess I am naive and still learning. After Sal’s first warm kiss I begin to move closer. Sal gets closer and hugs the stuffing out of me and I didn’t know how to stop him. That was my excuse anyway.
I waited as long as I could before I excuse myself and go to the powder room. Three other girls followed me, giggling and whispering as we went. I begin to lightly use my lipstick as Deb says “Don’t waste your time; wait until the movie is done.”
There was talk about going to Chicago in two weeks to hear one of their bands. The girls are to share the same hotel room. I look despondent that I won't be going, until Carol says, “By then this will have all passed over and you won't care or you will be one of us.”
It is and isn’t really what I want to say, but I say, “It needs to pass over.” Carol gives me a hug, “But you make one hot girl.” And I thank her.
< ~ O ~ >
All the girls and a few guys go to church. Jenn sees Grandma and warns me to stay out of her line of sight.
After church, Sal has gone to pick up his car which turned out spectacularly well. He lifts me up, swings me all the way around and sets me down on the hood of his car along with giving me a warm kiss. I would have been in heaven if Jenn’s eyes hadn’t sent me to purgatory.
Though we are home by noon and the guys are gone; I stay in girl mode until just before Tricia comes over. I try wearing my halter top under my shirt. Tricia’s hand pulling at my collar indicated it hadn’t worked She rolls a tube of lipstick my way, saying, “I won’t tell.”
I tell her, “I did a favor for my sister and friends and this was the last of it.” Tricia’s response left me thinking, she doesn’t believe what I said. Our report dealt with the changes in the stand of political parties. Lincoln one of the first modern day Republican Presidents stood for freedom, but come the 1960 elections; it is the Democrats who it seems are speaking for the rights of all citizens.
Come Monday morning and most of the week, my hair is up in a ponytail and more of Cami shows. Grandma calls to our house and I answer the phone but had not changed my voice back to Hal. I cover my mistake and say I have been singing with my sister.
“That is very interesting as your sister is here and I am inviting you to dinner. You can explain yourself when you get here,” she tells me. I scrub my face hard, messed up my hair and wear my old jeans and a paint shirt. Seemingly, it does the trick.
Luckily I have worked on cars Monday, Tuesday and now Wednesday and by hands have paid a price. Before we left for home Grandma says she needs to give attention to my hands. Mom often did that but it wasn’t unusual that Grandma would when Mom is gone.
I didn’t have earrings on but she notices the holes. She hadn’t made a big deal of things, until she uses it as an excuse to pull out pink bottle of polish. “Tell your sister you shouldn’t wear an undershirt with a ribbon and flower.” I check in the mirror and it was one of my undershirts, so what did she mean?
Once we’re home I swear to Jenn that I am through and never going to be Cami again.
I'm surprised when she giggles at me…
To be continued…
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