Easy As Falling Off A Bike pt 128

Printer-friendly version

Cathy gets lost and finds something....read on.

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by wassername.
part: "I am not a number I am a free man." (The Prisoner)

I felt like someone had boiled me and put me through a mangle. I'd seen one in a museum once, big rollers that women used to squeeze the water out of their washing. We saw it at the Welsh National Folk Museum at St Fagans near Cardiff, on a school trip. I wasn't sorry that I didn't live in those days and certainly wouldn't have wanted to be a female in those days, high risk of dying in childbirth.

I managed to find my car, almost on autopilot and I sat for some time before driving off. I might even have dozed for a few minutes. My head was spinning around inside like a top with a nuclear core and my stomach felt cramped and tight.

I had opened the Pandora's boxes of religion and grief, there was unfinished business with both. But how to resolve it, that was the question which was incarcerating my mind. Until I found some sort of answer I was lost to the question.

Thankfully I had filled the car's fuel tank before going to the hospital, when I'd bought the soup for Daddy. I drove all night, I don't know where, I just drove.

I wound up in the country, having pulled up in a layby and fallen asleep. I had no idea where I was when I woke up and tried to stretch my aching body. I had a drink from the water bottle I always keep with me, then I needed to find somewhere to wee. No one was about, so I nipped into a field and watered some dock leaves.

I always keep a few things in the car with me, some wet wipes, a drink and some emergency food, usually a couple of cereal bars. I ate one now and drank some more water. I gradually came more awake and a quick wipe over with the wet wipes, helped me reinforce that. I had removed all my makeup, it was trashed anyway with my crying, and I didn't feel a need to replace it. In fact I couldn't feel anything except tired, my senses were numbed.

I looked at my watch, it was just coming up to eight o'clock, with that I heard a church clock begin to peal. Almost in a trance I walked towards the noise. I saw the odd pedestrian and was passed by the occasional car, but this had to be one of the quietest villages I'd ever been to.

I saw a sign, 'To the C16th Church.' I followed it. It was a quaint looking place and I walked down through the path to the porch. I felt for my handbag, I did have it with me and breathed a sigh of relief when I recalled locking the car and putting the keys inside my bag. I checked and they were there.

I walked into the porch and to my surprise the door was unlatched, I pushed and it opened, and I walked into the cool musty smelling building. I could hear someone moving about but I felt it was a place of peace and might help me think. I walked as quietly as I could, my heels clicking on the stone flags, towards the back of the church and sat down.

I looked around but only noticed how ancient everything seemed, but this sense of peace pervaded everything and I decided if there was a God, then this might aptly be a so called, 'House Of God', because certainly there was something here.

I sat drifting in my thoughts but apart from feeling calmer, my head still buzzed. I pulled out the hassock, or little kneeling cushion, from the back of the chair in front and knelt down on it, trying a prayer to something I wasn't sure if I believed in.

I had difficulty focusing, which was part of the problem. Maybe I just needed Dr Thomas and her skills or a therapist of some sort? I was losing the battle here. I sat back down and thought of my mother, and the tears came. I was so absorbed in my own feelings, and had a tissue up to my eyes when I became aware of someone sat alongside me.

"Hi, it's so peaceful here isn't it?" A quick glance showed the speaker was a woman perhaps fortyish, wearing a fleece jacket and jeans.

I nodded rather than spoke, I was too choked to emit any coherent linguistic sounds.

"You're upset about something," she said quietly, almost mesmerically
I nodded.

"They say a trouble shared is a trouble halved, want to see if it's true?"

Somehow, this place and this woman felt trustworthy and I needed to talk with someone or go completely mad. "I'd like that," I said with a croaky voice.

"Good, I'm Marguerite, by the way."

"Cathy," I replied taking a deep breath to try and calm myself enough to talk. I was still shaking a little.

"Why are you here?"

"Good question. I don't know." I shrugged, some tears came and I took a deep breath to try and suppress them. It almost worked.

"You look tired."

"I am, I think I drove around in circles most of the night."

"Why was that?"

"Dunno trying to think."

"Think about what?"

"Dunno really."

"Are you sure?"

I began to feel the tears escape my eyes again. I felt her hand on mine and she said calming things. "I'm,(sob) a bad person." I sobbed heavily and she put her arm around me.

"Why are you a bad person?"

"I'm (sob) an abom(sob)ination."(sob)

"Wow, that's a pretty strong indictment. Why do you bring this charge against yourself?"

"I'm unnatural," I managed a whole phrase without sobbing.

"What do you mean,'unnatural'?" It was the gentlest interrogation I had ever received.

"I'm really a man." I burst into tears again.

"Are you, I wouldn't have known?"

"I'm waiting for reassignment surgery."

"I hope it will make you feel more complete," she squeezed my hand, "although you look pretty good to me."

"I've offended God, I'm an abomination."

"So is that why you're here?"

"I suppose so," I was sobbing again.

"What do you expect God to do?"

"I dunno, kill me."

"Kill you? What for, for being yourself?"

"Yes," said a tiny voice from under the tissue.

"My goodness, what God do you believe in? He sounds a real tyrant to me."

"I don't know, I don't know if I believe in anything except I seem cursed."

"By God?"

"I suppose so."

"Do you feel threatened here?"

"No," I blushed, I was being such a baby. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she smiled at me and there was such warmth in her eyes. "This place is a place of sanctuary, protected by the love of God, not the wrath of some ancient, Old Testament deity. I suspect that is what brought you here, so you could see that you are loved for yourself. We are all equal in the eyes of God, none of us are better or worse, none of us are hated or despised. These are all things we do as humans to each other, we don't need a God to do that, we manage perfectly well by ourselves."

I almost laughed at the absurd picture she painted of humanity."Why did he take my mother, before I could make my peace with her?"

"Gosh, another accusation. Did you actually see God come and take her."

"Now you're mocking me," I said and went to stand.

"Please sit down and answer my question."

I slumped back in the chair. "No I didn't."

"Were you there when she died, it sounds as if you were."

"Yes, she had never seen me as a girl. I was with a woman friend and we were shopping in Southampton when my dad phoned to say she was in hospital and to come straight away. I would have gone back to my room to change, but that was in Portsmouth and my friend thought we didn't have time. She was right, we got there and she died moments later."

"I'm sorry, did she say anything?"

I was crying again, "Yeah, she said, 'I thought I heard my Charlie, but he's sent two angels in his place.' She lay back and died."

"So she saw you and your friend as angels?"

"Dunno, she was dying."

"I can see why she might make that mistake."

"I can't."

"Two beautiful creatures approaching her."

"What Stella and me!" I almost laughed at her.

"Thats what she said she saw."

"It could have been a delirium, various brain chemicals. I'm a biologist, there are lots of explanations for death experiences."

"So am I, I have doctorate in biochemistry. I'm also open to the chemicals creating this effect as the mechanism, perhaps designed by something to ease our passing."

"Oh not Intelligent Design, and all that crap."

"No, that's just poor scientific reasoning."

"I agree absolutely." I looked at her again, "If you're a scientist, what are you doing here, in a place of superstition?"

"Whoa, another accusation. Answer me this first, you're a scientist, why are you here?"

"I don't know, accident?"

"Meaningful coincidence or synchronicity as Jung would have put it?"

"My consultant says Jung was barking," I chuckled.

"Did he do...."

"She, it's a woman," I corrected.

"Sorry, has she done an analytical session with Jung, then?"

"I doubt it she's far too young," I sniggered at my accidental pun and so did she.

"Very good, you look better than when I first sat down."

"I feel better, thank you." I smiled at her and she smiled back. "So why are you here?" I asked.

"Why d'you think?" She answered back.

"Don't tell me you're some angelic being sent by God's press office?"

"Oh I like that, can I quote you on that?"

"If you want," I wasn't sure if she was still mocking me.

"I work here."

"What? I don't understand."

"This is my parish."

"What you're a priest?"

"Yes."

"Why aren't you wearing a dog collar?"

"Why aren't you in a lab coat?"

"Okay, I surrender, God got me."

"You talk in riddles. I don't usually come into the church this early unless I'm doing a service. I'm not until this evening, but for some reason I found myself here looking for a book I needed for a sermon I was trying to write on St Thomas."

"I've read his Gospel, one of the Gnostic ones."

"It's lovely isn't it."

"My parents didn't think so, wasn't canon, so everything I said they argued against."

"They gave you hard time then?"

"Yeah what with my gender thing and my heresy."

"Heresy, wow, what sort of Christians were they?"

"Born again Evangelicals."

"Oh dear." She sighed and shook her head, "It's so sad that people don't think about what they believe. It's good to challenge things until they feel right, not just comfortable."

"You sound like my old RI teacher, she was a physicist as well. Taught me a lot about acceptance."

"Acceptance, are you sure? In order for others to accept you, you need to accept yourself and I thought I heard some wavering there."

"Yeah," I looked at the floor.

"And that's easy to blame on God?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Can I give you a picture to think about?"

"Yes please do."

"Okay, what if God is everything and nothing, all paradox and yet so simple, we can't see him or her or it, like wood for trees? What if we create our own destinies, from our genes and our culture and our experiences, our education and our relationships? Some of us will die younger than others, some will be rich, some poor in material terms. Others will be rich in experiential terms, feel loved and so on. The variables are endless. What if God was something inside us as well as wherever else people have put him? How would you feel about him or her or it, then?"

"I don't know. I need to think about that."

"Have you had breakfast?"

"No, I erm fell asleep in the car."

"Come back to the vicarage with me and have a hot drink and a bite of breakfast?"

"I hate to impose."

"You're not, besides I want to hear your answer."

I followed her back to a modern detached house, "There used to be a rector who lived in that old pile over there. It's an old folks home now, I'm happy with double glazing and cavity wall insulation." I nodded and we chuckled.

We had several cups of coffee and a bowl of porridge, followed by toast and jam. I was touched by her generosity.

"Now, my fee."

I sat back with a jolt and reached for my bag.

"No, not money, your answer to my hypothesis."

"It certainly feels more comfortable than my previous model."

"And?"

"Yeah, I couldn't blame anyone but myself for my situation."

"Why have you got to blame anyone? What if it's just your genes or DNA or rogue mitochondria somewhere in your brain. You can't help who you are, only what you become, what you do with it. Do you understand?"

"I think so."

"I don't believe anyone as pretty as you was ever a boy."

"I have dangly bits."

"So, lots of women have all sorts of genital variations."

"Not quite the same as mine."

"Don't be too sure, nature is very experimental and with six or seven billion of us on this poor planet, anything could happen."

"Well my birth certificate says boy."

"That's just a piece of paper which can be corrected."

"I have to go," I saw the time it was ten o'clock, "I have taken so much of your precious time."

"I've enjoyed the conversation. I hope all goes well with your surgery and I hope you you find someone to love you."

"I already have, he's in hospital in Portsmouth, a shooting accident." I went on to explain about Simon and Stella and looked at the clock it was now eleven.

"Marguerite, can I ask you something?"

"Of course Cathy."

"If once I get everything sorted, birth certificate, surgery and the rest. If I wanted to get married, would you marry me?"

"Wow! You don't ask small questions, do you?"

"I'm a scientist, remember."

"As you don't live in the parish I might have to ask my bishop, but he's pretty good. So off the top of my head I don't know. In my heart, yes I should love to marry you."

I teared up again and she hugged me. "Thank you, so much. You are an angelic being."

"Nah, you ask my husband, he'll put you right."

"Where is he?"

"He's away with my son at his mother's, they're doing some decorating for her."

"Oh, I'm sorry I'm asking such personal questions." I blushed.

"I've got one for you?"

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want to use the loo before you go?" We both laughed at that and she showed me where it was.

up
191 users have voted.
If you liked this post, you can leave a comment and/or a kudos! Click the "Thumbs Up!" button above to leave a Kudos

Comments

Reasonable Religion

Marguerite reminds me of my cousin the minister, the same type of attitude about God, even if the specifics differ a bit. Interesting how this all came to a head and Cathy headed for a church to resolve her conflicts. The early training sticks with us, even if we deny it. Thought-provoking chapter. Especially this bit: "This place is a place of sanctuary, protected by the love of God, not the wrath of some ancient, Old Testament deity. I suspect that is what brought you here, so you could see that you are loved for yourself. We are all equal in the eyes of God, none of us are better or worse, none of us are hated or despised. These are all things we do as humans to each other, we don't need a God to do that, we manage perfectly well by ourselves."

Karen J.

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way."

College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

Re: Reasonable Religion & Respect Or Lack Of

I've been a pagan for many years, but if I still followed any of the Judeo-Christian faiths, I'd gladly interact with a minister like Marguerite. My early years were spent as a Roman Catholic, with so many rules and restrictions that it drove me right up the wall.

I started to lose faith in it when I realized, at thirteen, that so many of the laws and rules of the Old Testament made little or no sense in our modern society. About a year after that, I actually asked our priest about it, and all I got back was to follow those rules, no matter what. I asked a few more questions, and the responses were so formulaic that I refused to follow the religion's rules/beliefs any longer and told the priest that I would not be returning, as I saw no reason to put up with things that made no sense to me. I never even got to the point of raising the issue in Deuteronomy 22:5, I already knew that I was different, although I wasn't quite sure exactly how at that point, and his responses made it clear that I would get no support there, so I left.

Interestingly, there are some Judeo-Christian churches that are much more reasonable nowadays, and one of them is just a few blocks away. I could possibly see myself going there if I felt the need, or to one of the pagan communities here, because they would both respect me for who I am, not belittle me because I don't follow rules or precepts that make no sense at all nowadays.

Very delightful

for me, thank you. Laughed and smiled thru it all

Hugs, Fran

Hugs, Fran

Religion as a hurdle

Only second to my parents dealing with the issue of religion has been one of my greatest struggles with accepting myself being Ts.Its good you have touched on this struggle in your story.Hugs Amy

i liked it but

well i read this and liked it but the 128th chapter? it would take me half a year to catch up to this story. you really need to gather up some of the chapters. i simply cant spare that much time to catch up with this

Alas, Tis You...

...Christine, who needs to do something. Like, start at Chapter 1 and read for enjoyment. It's not a contest. No one says you have to catch up or read the same chapters others are reading at the same time. If you enjoy it, read it. If you don't enjoy it, stop.

You have an advantage and a great luxury over those of us who have read one chapter a day, as it was produced. Until you catch up, you won't have to experience the involuntary disruption of hitting a chapter end and being forced to wait a full day before the next chapter magically appears. There are 127 chapters before this one, just lain before you, yours for the reading. It's a great gift, not a burden! Savor it.

im didnt mean ti in a bad way

didnt mean it in a bad way pippa. it will be for enjoyment. more enjoyment reading the start and finding out everything about this story. 128 chapters is alottho. but i will try to. do you understand pippa. im sorry if you took my statement the wrong way :(.
im sorry

Maybe I am a fast reader, but...

Julia Miller's picture

It's only taken me a couple of days of reading to make it this far, but at this time the newest episode is 3329. But I am not really worried about getting there anytime soon. After all, it's the journey, not the destination that is important. And I have to say, it's been a great journey so far.

How's that Erin?

Angharad's picture

The episode was longer than the list of episodes! Good or what? (giggle)

hugs,

Angharad. 8)

Angharad

Easy as Falling Off a Bike

Angharad,
Don't happen to have the directions to that church do you? I really need to talk to Marguerite.

Nothing in Life is Free; if the cost is not monetary it will be physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Rachel Anne

Nothing in Life is Free; if the cost is not monetary it will be physical, emotional, or spiritual.
Rachel Anne

re: Marguerite

In a sense, we all can talk to Marguerite, any time we want to. She's a personification of what's there, inside, in a part of all of us that we don't always have the confidence to listen to. This Sunday, or any day, sit quietly for a half hour or so and just wait in silence, tuning out the chatter of all those noisome voices of anxiety, doubt, and external society. (This is what the Buddhists call "taming the monkey mind" through meditation.) There, in your quiet center, after you strip away everything else, is a small voice of love and truth, what the Quakers call "the Light within." She sounds remarkably like Marguerite.

Hotel Portmeirion, Penrhyndeudraeth in North Wales

Be seeing you!

You would have to bring in the Prisoner. I have a mouse pad that my USB backup HD sits on with Patrick in his signature white trimmed black suit. "I am am not a number, I am a free man" is the quote on it. Do you have a spy camera in my basement?

This was a sweet chapter and poor Cathy needed one after the last few. If only all people were this tolerant and slow to cast the first stone. But then what would the cable news show pundits do for material?

A remarkable old TV series and an equally remarkable TG series.

Wow, I rhymed!

John in Wauwatosa were we got snow, sleet, freezing rain and rain yesterday. Maybe more rain or snow today.

P.S. I have gotten my RYA of snow shoveling in for the year -- my Recommended Yearly Allowance. That stuff weighed a ton. It was something like six to eight inches of average snow -- ten inches equalling one inch of water -- but wet down to an inch or two. Aid some syrip and food dye and it would make a good snow cone/shave ice. Those of you east of Wisconsin, enjoy! Where's that damned bottle of aspirin?

John in Wauwatosa

I actually went to the Village ...

... on my second trip to England with my husband. We traveled to the southwest, then up through Wales to Portmerion. Naturally, we arrived the day AFTER the annual Six of One festival, so we missed the costumes, the human chess game, and of course, the untethered weather balloons masquerading as Rover. *grins* Still, a replica of Number Six's Lotus was in front of the building they used as the hospital. I think Mike took a pic of me standing in front of it.

And I still have the number 6 and number 2 buttons I purchased at the Six of One store sitting here on my desk -- as well as the complete Prisoner series on DVD that I bought much, MUCH later.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I AM a fan girl. *happy grin*

Randalynn

The Prisoner

Angharad's picture

When I did the quote, I did wonder if anyone would recognise it. Seems nobody did. I used to quite fancy Patrick McGoohan until he appeared in Braveheart as a crazy Edward I. Did anyone used to watch Dangerman ?

Hugs,

Angharad

Angharad

Dangerman

Loved that show. It aired in the U.S. as "Secret Agent", or at least the second series, 1964-1967, did. I suspect I've seen some of the earlier episodes from the 1960-61 series tossed in there in later syndication.

I miss television like that. Witty, adventurous, ascerbic, slightly dark, yet optimistic and emotionally satisfying. Too much of today's stuff on American TV is completely paranoid and pessimistic. Okay, it had some very minor cheesy moments, too, but they only added to the flavor.

Damn. This is making me want to go buy a boxed set of it...

I have some Dangerman on DVD

Dangerman is a different spy, a quiet one and far less likely to shoot someone than say, 007.

I'll have to watch them again. And I have the Prisoner too. And a season or so of The Saint.

Be seeing you.

John number one in Wauwatosa

John in Wauwatosa

My public library has ...

... all of Secret Agent Man on DVD, as well as all of I Spy which had much the same flavor -- both far more accurate portrayals of the life of an operative than the "shaken, not stirred" adventures of someone "bottled in Bond."

Looks like I may be using my card again. *smile*

Randalynn

In For A Penny...

I decided to buy myself and my Sweetie something silly for Christmas, so I ordered the set from one of the vendors who sells on Amazon. (I don't really understand it -- I'm paying $46 for something that Amazon sells for $99. I know that Amazon gets a cut from their vendors, too. So, I'm just hoping this is the real deal and not some third-rate Chinese forgery.) The "Mega-Set" contains both series, the earlier 1960-61 one with 39 episodes, and the later 1964-65 one with 47 episodes, for a grand total of 86.

My Sweetie only knows the series as "Danger Man", since she lived in England when it was airing there, and it hasn't aired here on non-cable tv (our poison of choice -- "Pay for telly adverts?! Are you mad??") since she moved here. And, of course, having been brought up, nay weaned, on American tv, I only know the show as "Secret Agent". It'll be interesting, to say the least, to see which titles are in the box.

My only hope, not having seen the show in like almost forever, is that I still enjoy it!

Re: My public library has ...it

Mine (Multnomah County Library, Portland, Oregon) has both those series available on DVD, although Secret Agent is listed under its British title of Danger Man. It also has The Man From U.N.C.L.E and The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. on DVD. All classic series from a bygone era.

Speaking of David McCallum, he now appears on another really great show, N.C.I.S.. In one episode of that show, one of the characters suggested he looked like Ilya Kuryiakin (his character from U.N.C.L.E.!

Jenny

The Prisoner: Yin & Yang

laika's picture

Call this woman Number Six. Yes, that Number Six...... She had always prided herself on her composure,
all through the endless stream of tricks they had thrown at her over this past year; wake up
and---SURPRISE!!---you're up on the ceiling somehow..... that sort of thing. But she
had to admit they had really outdone themselves this time.

Awake just before dawn, barely moving, the differences were immediately obvious. She pictured how this would play out: "A man? No my dear, you have never been a man. You must be mistaken!"
Reality overthrown.

Well she could play that game as well. Cagey, giving nothing away. A discrete check with her fingers,
barely disturbing the bedcovers. Yes, it was gone. And if that was changed then everything
else would have changed accordingly...

Stretching, making a show of feeling just fine (for of course they were watching)...... striding catlike into
the bathroom....... nothing like a nice bracing shower in the morning ....... the water carressing these soft unfamiliar contours of hers....... where she used the soap to explore the parameters of her new body,
without giving her warders the satisfaction of seeing her panic.

Of course it was ruddy terrifying....... that they could have such powers. The big question being whether
this was permanent or not, which would depend on the means they had used. The sort of surgery those poor buggers you saw in the news were having done to themselves? Or was all of this an illusion, her actual body intact; hooked to wires and computers and monitors in that chamber of horrors they called the infirmary?
Time would tell. If this was an illusion there was no harm done..... if it was real, there was nothing to be done about it...

It all certainly seemed real. These soft breasts, so foreign to her senses, but objectively speaking not terribly large....... straight reddish hair hanging wetly down her back clear to her sacrum...... this unruly patch of matching fur radiating from the lips of what certainly seemed like an authentic vagina, and to the touch,
very much a part of her sensorium...... the absence of any sign of surgery would speak for her morning so far being some fiendishly realistic projection.

Or, she thought as she dried off in front of the mirror, this immense mass of hair first. Had they perhaps resurrected the old German's mind swap machine? Yes, that had to be it. That her male body was
now occupied by the rightful owner of this one.

She spoke to the mirror, the beautiful slender face she wore breaking into a toothy, vulpine grin that was disturbingly familiar to those watching. "You seem to be repeating yourselves.
You wouldn't be running out of ideas, would you?"

~~and that's as far as I got about 6 months back. Sigh! I guess it would help to have a plot. LAIKA

Number six

How can you stop here!!!! You caught my attention.
hugs!
grover

I've thought about this as well ...

... as it's just the sort of thing they might try (and just the sort of thing that would shake even number Six's sense of self). The trouble is, if they have this capability at their disposal, there truly is nothing that can stop them -- and the game is over before it begins.

Of course, it depends (like the old German's mind-swapping machine) on how they acquired the capability -- and whether they own it, or it comes from a third party who can be persuaded not to share it ... or if it's something number Six might have to destroy for the greater good, leaving him trapped in a woman's form forever

The possibilities are endless -- so there IS a plot there waiting, Laika. *grin* Good luck!

Randalynn

"I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own." -- The Prisoner

If you could bottle it

You could make a fortune. Trouble is, many so-called Christians wouldn't buy it because it conflicts with their narrow view of what God would or wouldn't do. What's the point of having an Almighty God if you keep trying to impose human limitations and failings?

A superb chapter - wonderful insight and very thought-provoking. Can we please clone that vicar and send her out to all the parishes in the UK?

Susie

Through chap 128

just in case anyone is curious, I have been assembling Cathy into an Office doc as it went along. It has reached 1.52Mb with 471 pages in Office 2007. This includes three or 4 lines between chapters, then the title and a couple of blank lines each chapter, pasted in no format. It would be smaller if I wasn't making it easier to read and "purtier" as I wen. It is in TNR 12 pt for easy of reading. Thats just my take.

Ang, I grew up doing laundry with one of those manglers you mentioned. Loads of fun.

Yeah, I was doing the same

Was putting it all in a text file but got really busy with other stuff and lost track for a while. Guess I need to catch up. Not sure why I was collecting it all. Guess at some point I'd consider rereading it offline. Nice if Angharad would bless someone making the "collected works" available somewhere in one big file.

This is written to the website

Angharad's picture

Off the cuff. And I don't keep a copy 8-(

I'm not sure if I'm surprised or not by Stacy's compilations. 471 pages plus, bigger than my Gaby books. Many of the modern blockbuster novels are 5-600 pages, so I might go on a bit longer with book one. ;)

I have had an approach by an editor to bunch them into groups of tens and tidy them up a bit. But she is quite busy so nothing will happen until after Christmas. So watch this space.

hugs,

Angharad

Angharad

It's a Lulu

erin's picture

Tell me if you want to make this available as an e-book. :) Lots of different ways we could do that.

Hugs,
Erin

= Give everyone the benefit of the doubt because certainty is a fragile thing that can be shattered by one overlooked fact.

Rethinking religion

Angharad, you reminded me of my not quite mother-in-law, she's really religious, one of those people I would ordinarily love to hate, but I can't.

For her, religion is "her" faith, not someone else's. She would no more dream of forcing anyone to believe what she believes or how strongly she believes it. She lives her life being kind and thoughtful to others and it makes me happy to talk to her.

For a person like me, she reaffirms my faith in the whatever and since my 'faith', should it be said that I have one, is more pagan than Christian, to find out that we both feel the same way about so much is confusing to say the least.

You have given me much to think about.

Nice chapter by the way, thank you.

Nick

Most of the women I know....

Angharad's picture

....including me, use the term wee. When I was little, it was a wee -wee. I suspect euphemisms run in families or have cultural markers. I remember when I was a young teenager hearing that LBJ had said he was, "Gonna take a pi**". I was mortified. It's still not a word I use except in the phrase, "Pi** Off" and variations of, or to describe degrees of inebriation, of which I have a low tolerance (both of alcohol and drunkeness!).

hugs,

Angharad.

Angharad

LBJ had a way with words

But the word you seem so leary of using is quite commonly used 'round these parts, even if not in polite company. I don't know any polite company, other than my mom. We have a saying that pretty much sums things up: "Its better to be pi**ed off than pi**ed on!".

Heard the joke about the boy that was told by his mom to use "whisper" instead? ;)

KJT

"Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way."

College Girl - poetheather


"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.”
George Carlin

I would love to have

Pamreed's picture

I would love to have Marguerite as my minister. She has got it right and is good at sharing that message!! I hope that I can be as good when I do my ministering!! I am an ordained Deacon in the Presbyterian faith. So I do deal with people who need comforting and reassurance. Thank you Angharad for this story,
I just started reading a week or so ago. I am looking forward to the 800 or so parts left to read!!

Fare thee well,
Pamela

"how many cares one loses when one decides not to be
something, but someone" Coco Chanel

trust in the Lord

Thank, fill in the blank, she walked into a Prod church and not a RC. otherwise Cath may have burst into flame. Can our girl find salvation in the guise of a woman cleric? Used to be an asst deacon in my church. Cathy is agnostic, not an atheist remember.
Ang, doing it again, Bravo

Cefin