A Quiet Strength - Trial and Tribulation
by Anon Allsop

-Part Three-

-One-

There was a hint of curl to the leaves that they passed, once vibrant greens were withered slightly from the touch of frost. The air was crisp and cool as the trio made their way down the side of the mountain, Aponi, Etu and Machk heading into the unknown, wary and yet hopeful.

Etu glanced quickly toward Aponi as they walked, behind her Machk slumbered in the papoose. "Are you fearful?" He asked.

She forced a smile, "Yes, and no." Glancing back toward him, she squinted at the bright sun that was filtering through the first few trees that they came to. "I am only afraid of how Machk will be treated."

"I told you..." He began.

She interrupted him, "You did..I'm sorry, it is just hard for me to trust right now."

"I am not your Parker, you have no need to worry." He walked in silence for a few steps. "I will never abandon you."

"That IS good to know, Etu. Thank you." She adjusted the papoose she carried, Etu noticed and paused to assist.

"Have you told your parents of me?" Aponi asked as they walked.

"They know." He replied with a smile.

"What of Machk? They do not know I was with child." Reminded the small blonde that walked so near the warrior.

"Both had visions of you so, I would guess they knew." He replied softly.

The beauty pulled up short and waited for Etu to glance backward. Once he realized that she wasn't beside him, he too stopped. "Will they accept Machk as their own?" She searched his eyes, as tears clung to her own.

He slowly walked back to his beloved, "They will take him up in their arms and welcome him as if he were sired from my own loins." Turning he took up Aponi's hand and coaxed her along. "I think you fear too much."

She nodded slowly as she allowed him to pull her beside him. "You have a right to be afraid after what your Parker did to you, but he will never be amongst us. If he were, I would do everything humanly possible, to keep him away from you."

The young family walked a great length of time, it was Aponi who noticed that the man had grown quiet. "What are your thoughts, Etu?"

He glanced quickly at her and then back toward the ground just before them, "How can I possibly hope to win a battle against a Great Spirit such as your Parker? I am a mere Oneida warrior, he is all powerful."

"He is a wretch." She replied quickly. "If ever asked to choose between the two of you...I would not be leaving your side Etu."

"You really do mean that? You would leave a Great Spirit to live among the Oneida?"

"I didn't ask to leave, I was abandoned by my people." She responded.

He paused, "Then there is always a chance that if offered, you would return to the Sky Dancer people.. your people?"

Aponi gently tugged at his elbow, he paused and looked down into her beautiful crystalline blue eyes. She held his gaze then spoke softly, "I am here now. Where Machk rests his head, is my home."

"And I? Where do I fit in, Aponi?" He searched her expression for the answer he hoped would be there.

"Over these past few weeks, I have grown very fond of you, Etu." She let her eyes drift downward ever so slightly before returning them upwards. "You are the only true friend I have here in this world."

He sighed, "I want to be much more than a friend, Aponi. Much more."

She smiled shyly, then spoke to him softly. "There currently two halves to my heart, one half belongs to Machk...the other to you."

Etu smiled broadly as they continued to walk, his fingers sought out her hand. They were together, and she really wanted to be with him; that was all that mattered to the young warrior. He now had his family and home is where they were heading.

-Two-

Overnight, the air turned sharply colder, frost clung to the brush in the grassy areas. The sun had yet to break the horizon, as Etu uncovered himself and slowly rose to his feet. With a smile he glanced downward as Aponi and little Machk still snuggled beneath the great bear's hide. Stirring the coals of what had been their campfire, Etu carefully placed dry stick upon the glowing embers.

As he crouched he became aware of movement behind him, Aponi was sitting up and yawning. "It will snow very hard soon, before night has fallen we will see the furious kiss of winter."

He turned his head to face his beautiful family, "Did it snow in the land of the Sky Dancer people?"

She laughed as she bundled Machk, "Where I had spent much of my adult life, no it did not snow. But I have seen and experienced it." She spoke in general terms since most of her life had been spent aboard the Empire's crafts. The snow she had recalled was when she had to lead a reconnaissance as Parker. On that occasion the temperature reached nearly 40 below, but they had been blessed with equipment that allowed comfort in those severe conditions.

"We must get a move on soon, Aponi. I fear being caught out in the open during this early kiss of a young winter." His face grew stern as he studied the clouds. "We may have waited too long to leave your mountain."

"I'll nurse Machk and as soon as he has finished, we can be on our way." She spoke as she began to work loose her gown to allow her son access.

Etu handed her a small piece of dried meat, "We will have to eat on the run, let me know when you wish for another."

Aponi chewed the small portion as she positioned Machk, the boy was all about business and did not need any coaxing.

Etu cut a small portion for himself and chewed, as he was savoring the meat, Aponi asked between chews, "How far do we still have to go to reach your village?"

He smiled, "You mean OUR village?" He cut another small portion for Aponi and handed it to her. "We are only about three suns from home."

"Earlier you said it would snow, will it be bad?" She spoke as she had turned Machk toward her shoulder and began to pat his tiny back.

"It will be very bad, the air feels heavy with moisture." He said as he was rubbing his index finger and thumb. "It always is bad when the air becomes heavy."

She placed her son to the opposite side, Etu watched her with favor. "Our son eats well."

"That he does." She replied as Machk latched on and began to suckle, "I can't say as much for this act to myself, but Machk took to it very quickly."

"Do you mind doing it for him?" He asked out of curiosity.

She thought for a moment and shrugged slightly, "It is more out of necessity that I do it, Etu. In the world where I am from, women seldom would nurse their children."

He tipped his head and reacted with surprise, "How did their small children eat?"

"People like me created it for the children." She offered.

"Ah other mothers then." He surmised.

"No, their food was made from a mixture of animal milk and plants." She glanced toward him, unsure whether she had confused him even more.

"The ancient ones say that the milk of mothers has powerful medicine in it, makes the children grow very strong." He spoke as though he knew for certain, "It is said that, like the river that gives life to the land, so it is that a mother's milk is to her child."

Aponi smiled, "In a former life, I would have died at the though of a child nursing at my breast.. here though, it feels as natural as anything I've ever done. It is not without discomfort, but I would be wrong if I didn't say it wasn't rewarding."

"I am glad you feel that way, Aponi." He said as he began to gather their belongings together.

Aponi sat and contemplated his last words to her, unsure of what they truly meant. The rhythmic pull at her teat caused her to glance downward. Her concern was her child, like a mother content at her beautiful child nursing at her breast, forgetting all that had been once troubled her feminine mind.

-Three-

As the snow begun to fall in earnest by late afternoon, Etu sought out a spot where several large pines grew tightly together. Drawing Aponi within the thick branches, he had cleared a spot where the two of them could hunker down and wait out the storm in relative comfort.

Etu had built a small fire beneath the great boughs, well secluded to keep from setting their shelter on fire and to conceal both smoke and flame from sight. Earlier in the day he was able to shoot a rabbit and had taken the time to step out and clean it. As he was gone, Aponi once again cleaned and nursed Machk. By the time that Etu had returned, Aponi had him snugly wrapped up and sleeping in his papoose.

Already having the green stick pushed through the hare, Etu carefully suspended it over the fire. Aponi stood and pulled her blanket of pelts around her shoulders. "I must go outside and..."

Her gesture to Etu was self explanatory, he nodded and looked across to Machk sleeping soundly. "Do not venture far."

What met her outside had taken her breath. It was sharply colder and the snow was falling nearly diagonal. The flakes were as big as a thumbnail and piling up fast. Walking briskly away from the shelter, and quickly found a suitable log. Aponi crouched against it and once again, put up with the indignities that this world and body continued to put her though.

It was degrading enough to be forced to expel waste in this form, but to have to expose any amount of tender flesh to these forbidding elements was pure torture. To add insult to injury, Aponi was forced to wash her chilled feminine region with a small handful of snow.

Slowly trudging back toward the pines she glanced up and realized that due to the snow, everything had blended together making recognizing their shelter look like so many other trees. Panic set in and she cried out for Etu, but her terrified voice was swallowed by the wind.

***

Etu stepped out of the shelter once he realized that Aponi had not returned in a reasonable amount of time. As soon as he saw the snow flying sideways and felt the blistering wind, his heart sank. Deep in his mind he knew that unless he found Aponi quickly, this weather would claim her... and if she died, Machk had no chance
whatsoever.

"Aponi!" He shouted into the wind. He quickly found a heavy limb and began to smack it to the trunk of a tree. He kept up the steady sound until his hands ached from cold. Switching to the other hand he continued, again and again he struck the smooth bark of the tall tree. He stopped only to call out her name.

The young mother staggered and fell into the snow, her hands and feet burned from ache. As she was struggling to her feet, she thought she heard something. Standing as still as the wind would allow she turned her ear in the direction from which she thought she heard the noise.

Her blond hair blew in disarray as tiny snowflakes pelted her soft skin. Again she heard the rhythmic sound and began to struggle toward where she thought it was coming from. The wind combined with the woods she found herself in, made the sound seem to come from all sides.

Tears of fear began to cling to her lashes, she quickly realized that to cry meant that her eyes might freeze shut. With all she could muster, she tried to push that feminine side of her to the background- hoping a small sliver of Parker was still there to help her survive.

As if an answer to a prayer, seemingly far off she heard her feminine name being called. Again she staggered forward, stumbling over another log and falling prone into the snow.

"Etu!" She cried, "I am lost!" No longer could she push aside her feminine half, she buried her face into her frozen hands and began crying like the girl she had become. Again she thought she could hear the staccato echoing in the woods. She lifted her head and struggled once again to her frozen feet.

Again she thought she heard a voice, and yet again she stumbled and fell, her platinum hair becoming tangled in briars. In pain she pulled it away and regained her feet using the trunk of a tree as leverage.

The rhythmic knocking had to be Etu, she thought as she struggled forward, snow and wind biting at her exposed face. It seemed to be slightly louder as she made her way forward. High above her the trees were swaying, the branches striking each other viciously.

Was it those branches she heard? If so, the trouble she was in seemed hopeless for she may have wandered so far away from Etu that he could never find her. Trying to step across a fallen tree she stumbled and fell, rolling down a hill she came to rest. Now battered, bruised and nearly frozen she lay staring into the vast snow laden sky.

"To come so far, and yet to die." she cried to herself. No one would ever know what had happened to her, not Etu... Machk. She raised her head, struggled to roll to her feet. She would not die, not here. She had everything to live for, her son.. Etu. With effort she regained her feet and began the long climb up the hill she had just fallen down. Nearly exhausted she once again regained the top.

Taking in a deep amount of breath she screamed out Etu's name, then began trudging forward in the snow. Again she heard the heavy knocking within the wood. Her spirits buoyed, she realized that it had to be Etu trying to steer her back with the sound.

She staggered forward, the wind sounding like a growl of the great bear that had once trapped her and Machk. She shuddered, realizing just how close she came to death that day so seemingly long ago. If it were not for Etu...

The thought no sooner would leap into her mind and she was again falling headlong into the snow. Her strength had waned, lost to the struggles in the snow. She went down hard, trying to lift herself, yet once again she faltered and fell back into the snow. It was no use, she would die here... alone.