Games and yet more games!

Easy As Falling Off A Bike.
by Bonzi & Tiddles.
part 119 (Unlike the psalm of the same number it won't be the longest episode).

For the best part of the hour remaining Simon and I talked and talked, with occasional kisses in between when we thought no one was watching.

"When I get out of here, you are coming to live with Stella and me."

"I can't," I protested.

"Why can't you?"

"It's too far to cycle to college every day."

"This is being said by a woman who cycled out past us just for a bit of a spin, when Stella tried to kill you?"

"I don't ride that far every day and in the dark and wet it can be dangerous. Remember Stella knocked me off when it was raining."

"You have the use of a car."

"I know that, but I try not to use it any more than I need to."

"Why?"

"I just don't, global warming and all that, I don't know. I'm a cyclist first and foremost and while it's a lovely little car, I like to ride when I can. It also means the car will last longer, if I don't use it too much."

Simon looked at me and shook his head, groaning because something hurt when he moved.

"Are you all right?" I asked almost panicking.

"No some bastard shot me, remember?"

"Oh yeah," I blushed and tried to ease his pain, giving him a kiss. I don't know if it helped but it shut him up for a few seconds.

"I turn my back for a few moments and this happens!" We broke apart and without looking, we both recognised the voice.

"They've been at it like bunnies whenever they think no one is looking," called a nurse as she passed.

"Bloody nurses, they're all liars," I said for the benefit of present company.

"I'd withdraw that remark unless you want me to get one of my colleagues to murder your boyfriend."

"You could get struck off for that!" I gasped, although I knew it was all in jest, it still horrified me.

"Nah, they only do that if you sleep with underage patients."

"Don't worry sweetie pie," said Simon reassuringly, "she's been trying to kill me ever since we were nippers. You got closer to it at a first attempt."

I stood blushing and feeling awful and Stella nearly collapsed laughing, Simon started to laugh then realised it hurt his sternum. He moaned and groaned and I simply stared at him and said, "Serves you jolly well right."

"And you want me to move in with you pair of psychopaths?"

"Who does?" said a surprised Stella.

"I do, I think she'd be far safer living with us."

"Yeah, there's room," agreed Stella.

"Can I think about it?" I pleaded.

"You've had hours to think about it."

"Hours! I've only been here an hour."

"Well I was close, just one letter out," said Simon who chuckled and then groaned. I poked my tongue out at him.

"Right girl," said Stella, the g word still making the hair on my neck stand up on end. "Give him a last kiss and then let's go home."

"Erm, okay," I accepted reluctantly. I kissed Simon again and with a subdued passion, being supervised by his sister. I think he felt the same.

"Come back without the witch next time," he whispered but loud enough for its intended target to hear it.

"I can't," I loudly hissed back, "it's her broomstick we're using."

"Remember it's a long walk to Portsmouth from the cottage," she smiled at me, "S'long bruv," she said to Simon and pecked his cheek. "Come on urchin," she said to me.

"I'm not an urchin," I protested as we walked back to the car.

"Have you seen your hair?"

"No, why....Oh my God," I said as I saw myself in a dark window, my makeup was all smeared and my hair was mostly standing on end.

"You look like you just finished a wrestling match with Monica."

"Ouch!" We walked on a little further when I added, "Is there anyway we could get a restraining order on her?"

"I don't think so, what for?"

"Attempted cannibalism," I replied.

Stella stopped in her tracks, "What are you on about girl?"

"The way she was licking her lips, I wondered if she was going to eat me. It was like watching a female Hannibal Leckter, or whatever his name was."

"Didn't I mention she's as randy as bull on Sildenafil."

"On what? And no you didn't."

"Sorry about that, oh that's Viagra." She smirked at me and we continued out to the car.

"You set me up, you rat!"

"I did not, you went off on your own, she went a few moments later. I wondered if you were trying something new?"

"You WHAT?"

"Well, play the field a little while the cat's away, you know."

I exploded. "How dare you even think that, I love Simon and I certainly don't want anything to do with that over-sexed old cow!"

She stood there grinning and I realised I'd reacted exactly as planned, she'd got me again.

"You...., you...., bitch!" I managed before she roared with laughter and I laughed as well. I wanted to hit her, but it's not very ladylike.

"You are so predictable," she sniggered, "I can't resist it."

"One of these days...." I hissed shaking my head.

"Come on Lancie girl, let's go home."

"Who?"

"Well isn't that the name of that cyclist bloke?"

"Lancie? Oh you mean 'Never failed a drugs test' Armstrong?"

"Is that meant to be sarcasm? Did he fail a test or something?"

"No he didn't, but some of his exploits seemed suspiciously as if he should have been wearing blue tights with red knickers over the top and an 'S' on his shirt."

"What do you mean?" she looked completely confused.

"Look, he was so good at times it almost meant he was Superman."

"Maybe he was just that good."

"Perhaps, anyway he never tested positive, so if he wasn't Superman, he was as clever as Lex Luthor."

"I assumed he was just very good, not that I know anything about cycling. I mean you looked good at it to me."

"Gee thanks." I huffed and looked out the window for a few minutes. Then something struck me as different. "How come we're not using the Saab?"

"It's out of fuel."

"Phew! For a moment I thought you'd crashed it or something."

"I did."

"What? What is Simon going to say?"

"He'll kill me."

"How bad is it?"

"I think it's a write off."

"Jeez Stella, what happened?"

"I tried to overtake a tractor and there was one coming the other way."

"Oh my goodness, you're not hurt are you?"

"Not till Simon finds out. You won't tell him will you?"

"But he's supposed to be coming out in a couple of days, you promised to take time off." I was shocked. I was also a little more uneasy than I'd been a few moments before.

"Could you do me a tremendous favour?" She asked me in as seductive a voice as she could.

"Do what?" I asked suspiciously.

"Could you tell him, you did it?"

"WHAT!" I screamed.

"Well, he'll be really cross this time."

"This time?" I repeated.

"Yes, he eventually forgave me for the Mercedes, and he was really nice about the Porsche, said he never liked it."

"You've crashed three of his cars?"

"Four if you include the Jaguar, but it wasn't really my fault. It really wasn't."

"FOUR! Fucking hell Stella, let me out will ya, I'll be safer walking."

"Will you tell him it was you?"

"I can't Stella, much as I like you, I couldn't lie to Simon, not ever again."

"I knew you'd take that line, bloody 'Goody two shoes'." she huffed and we turned into the drive way. We passed the Saab, which didn't have a scratch on it. As soon as we stopped, I jumped out and checked it, it was perfectly all right.

"You lying cow!" I shouted, there's nothing wrong with his car, is there?"

She stood and doubled up laughing. "Your face was a picture," she said and guffawed again.

"You're a bloody psycho," I said shaking my head.

She nodded and continued laughing. "Your face!" and laughed some more.

I stormed into the house when she opened up the door, taking my bag up to my room. I sat on my bed fuming and wondering if she was crazy.

A short while later she came up and knocking on the door entered my room, I ignored her. "Sorry Cathy, I didn't mean to upset you. I haven't actually crashed any of his cars, he usually does his own."

"I don't care, I thought you wanted me to lie to Simon," and a tear came to my eyes.

"I didn't really and I'm proud that you resisted me."

"Please don't play your silly games with me ever again, or our friendship is over. You understand?"

"Oh Cathy, I am sorry, I really am," she said bursting into tears and trying to hug me, except I moved away from her.

"I think I'd like to go to bed now Stella, so can you leave?"